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[MELLOW JAZZ
MUSIC PLAYING]

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[GUNSHOTS]

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[DOGS HOWLING]

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This means war.

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[SPITS]

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[UPBEAT ITALIAN SONG PLAYING]

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[LINE RINGING]

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- [MOBILE PHONE RINGING]
- [WOMAN CRYING]

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[BEEPS]

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[WOMAN SNIFFLING]

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[BLOWS NOSE]

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[CONTINUES CRYING]

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Oh, my baby.

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Fucking college.

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- [VAN HORN BEEPS]
- WOMAN: Okay,
so, I checked

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the weather in Portland
and it's 85 degrees,

17
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so you will need
your sunscreen.

18
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:39,898
Yeah, I know, Mom.
It's in my backpack.

19
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You got all
your other toiletries?

20
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Yes, in my bag
that you packed.

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- [WOMAN SIGHS]
- While I watched, remember?

22
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You were crying
the whole time.

23
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Yeah, what a mess.

24
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It's not like he's going
off to war. It's just Oregon.

25
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I know, I know,

26
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but it's such
an amazing time in your life,

27
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you can literally become
anyone you wanna be.

28
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- Mom?
- You could
change the world.

29
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- Mom?
- You could
colonize Mars.

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- I mean...
- Mom,

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you're spiraling.

32
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- Sorry, sorry, boys.
We'll just be one minute.
- BOTH MEN: No problem.

33
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And remember...

34
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- Lakers for life.
- Lakers for
life, I know.

35
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Come back a Blazers fan,
I'm not gonna let you

36
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- back in the house.
- Yeah, I know, Dad.

37
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- Stop.
- I'm serious.

38
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Stop eating
the trail mix.

39
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It's for Nicky.
It's a long trip.

40
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Um, I guess
this is it.

41
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I'm sorry,
I'm a little emotional.

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Mom, Dad.

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- Okay.
- I love you. I love you.

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- I love you. I love you.
- [DOMENICK CHUCKLES]

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- DOMENICK: Okay, see you later.
- KRISTIN: Call me when
you get there.

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DOMENICK:
Yo, let's... fuckin' go.

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- [CHUCKLES]
- FRIEND 1: Freedom!

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FRIEND 2: Let's do this.

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There goes our baby.

50
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- [HORN TOOTS]
- Ah!

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I love you!

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[VAN DRIVES AWAY]

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Every woman
dreams of full brows

54
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and long luscious eyelashes.

55
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And thanks to Profizal's
hair-generating technology,

56
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I believe we have
a real opportunity

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00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:57,106
to market this
to chemo patients.

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[MANAGER GROANS]

59
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It's too sad.

60
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I mean,
anybody here wanna be sad?

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- OFFICE WORKER: No.
- MANAGER: Nobody
wants to be sad.

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Where's the ad that says

63
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Profizal puts hair
on men's heads?

64
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That's who we should
be marketing to.

65
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Insecure men

66
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,473
with lots of cash.

67
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No, actually, Dad,
ICO labs said Profizal

68
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- doesn't work on scalps.
- It doesn't?

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- No.
- MANAGER: Oh, shit.

70
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We gotta get you on
another project, dammit.

71
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Oh, what about Restylane?

72
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The anti-ageing filler?

73
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Yes, the new
Galderma product

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for older women.

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Because, you know,
you're a...

76
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[HESITANTLY]
...you're... you're
an expert, really.

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I mean, you're of
a certain age bracket.

78
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- I'm 40.
- Whoa! I did not
ask her age.

79
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Everybody saw
that, right?

80
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Would never do that.

81
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Look, I really think

82
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this would be
a perfect fit for you.

83
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Okay.

84
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Randy, what do you got?

85
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,514
Erectile dysfunction, Hank,

86
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is a thing of the past

87
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with Thoracinil.

88
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[MEN LAUGHING]

89
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:06,306
RANDY: Hey. So, Thoracinil
is banned in the EU,

90
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,916
so we can't
use Mykonos

91
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:10,135
but he's on a jet-ski.
I love those.

92
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- I love jet-skis.
- [MOBILE PHONE RINGING]

93
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- [INDISTINCT
CONVERSATION]
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]

94
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- Hello?
- WOMAN: [ON PHONE]
<i>Is this Kristin Balbano?</i>

95
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,666
Uh, well,
it's Kristin Dorner

96
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,058
Balbano
is my maiden name.

97
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<i>You never give up
the name Balbano.</i>

98
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Sorry? Who is this?

99
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I am Bianca

100
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and I have
terrible news.

101
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<i>Giuseppe Balbano
is dead.</i>

102
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- [ROCK MUSIC BLARING
ON SPEAKERS]
- Oh, my father's father.

103
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God, I didn't even
know he was alive.

104
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Can you hold
on a sec?

105
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Paul!

106
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My husband's
in a band.

107
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I'm sorry to hear that.

108
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Your grandfather
is dead.

109
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You need to
settle his affairs.

110
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His affairs? But, I mean,

111
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I don't even know him.

112
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<i>You're named specifically
in his will.</i>

113
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<i>We'll fly you to Italy.</i>

114
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<i>You'll leave
tomorrow night.</i>

115
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Wait. What, did you say Italy?

116
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Like, as in Italy Italy?

117
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<i>Yes, Italy.</i>

118
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Oh, that sounds...

119
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No, I... No, I can't
just get on a plane

120
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and head on over
to my dream place.

121
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Everything is crazy
at work right now

122
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and my husband
needs me, you know?

123
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- And I just can't see
that I can get away...
- [WOMAN MOANING IN PLEASURE]

124
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PAUL: Quiet, listen
to my lyric here.

125
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[SINGING] <i>♪ I'm no longer
Ear-ear-earth...♪</i>

126
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I gotta go.

127
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<i>♪ ...Bound</i>

128
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- [BOTH EXCLAIMING IN PLEASURE]
- [MUSIC SWITCHES OFF]

129
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- PAUL: What time is it?
- [BOTH SIGHING]

130
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Kristin...

131
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- Before you start...
- Hey

132
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- Hey.
- Listen, I just want
you to know I'm a feminist.

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