1 00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:10,920 ♪♪ 2 00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:14,440 Don't scream. 3 00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:16,140 Okay, Zach. 4 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,490 I want to be with you. 5 00:00:17,530 --> 00:00:19,190 I just... 6 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:20,840 I don't know. 7 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:22,970 Cheryl... 8 00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:26,240 if you could just accept my love, 9 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,070 we can stay together through all of eternity. 10 00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:31,850 ♪♪ 11 00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,940 Okay, Zach. 12 00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:36,470 I love you. 13 00:00:36,510 --> 00:00:39,250 I want to be with you forever. 14 00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,910 So, it's time? 15 00:00:42,950 --> 00:00:44,080 It's time. 16 00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:49,000 ♪♪ 17 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,780 Announcer: "Vampire Creek" will return in a moment.Hey, uh, 18 00:00:50,830 --> 00:00:52,180 what are you guys watching? 19 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:53,570 "The Goddamn Asshole Show"? 20 00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:54,960 "Vampire Creek". 21 00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:57,440 It's a show about sexy teen vampires. 22 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,050 They live in a creek?No. 23 00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,660 It's the name of the town. 24 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,140 Oh, no. 25 00:01:02,190 --> 00:01:03,840 You want to see a sexy vampire, you gotta -- 26 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,150 you gotta watch those Hammer Films with Ingrid Pitt. 27 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:08,370 It's a British chick with good teeth 28 00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:10,410 and a couple of horn-honkin' milk jugs. 29 00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:12,940 Oh, I got to tell ya. 30 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:14,500 ♪ Peaches♪♪ Mmm-mmm♪ 31 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:16,330 ♪ Peaches♪♪ Oh, boy♪ 32 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,680 Boy: I found a can of peaches!What? 33 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,550 Announcer: And now back to our programming. 34 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,300 Y-Y-You guys -- You guys stay there. 35 00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:26,120 I'll get it. 36 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,040 Zach's a shapeshifter. 37 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:34,000 He can put his butt in the front. 38 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,740 Can he turn his butt into a wolf? 39 00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:38,350 No. 40 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,140 But his wiener becomes a tail. 41 00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:44,800 Oh, Zach, you dirty dog. 42 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,100 Yeah. Is, uh, Denise Miller home? 43 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,190 Hold your horses. Denise! 44 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,110 That won't be necessary. Here. 45 00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:56,020 Thank you too many. 46 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,240 Uh... 47 00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:00,460 It's, uh, probably one of those things 48 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:02,810 you ordered off the TV and forgot about. 49 00:02:02,860 --> 00:02:04,290 Maybe it's a monkey. You know what? 50 00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:05,900 I'll tell -- I'll t-tell you what it is. 51 00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:07,560 It's one of those necklaces that beeps 52 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,120 when you fall off the toilet. 53 00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,560 Not for nothing, 54 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,170 but how in the hell do you fall off a toilet? 55 00:02:12,210 --> 00:02:14,830 It's shaped like a seat, for the love of God. 56 00:02:14,870 --> 00:02:17,520 If Elvis had one of those, he'd still be alive. 57 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,480 Still be alive and big as a house with a neck... 58 00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:22,490 Aah! 59 00:02:22,530 --> 00:02:24,230 "Congratulations, Denise Miller. 60 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:26,490 You've won the 'Vampire Creek' Slash Fiction competition 61 00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:28,360 with your story 'Chad The Impaler'! 62 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,840 We want to reward you with this prop from the show"! 63 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,410 Slash fiction? Denise, wow. 64 00:02:33,450 --> 00:02:35,280 It's when you write a story about your favorite show, 65 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,020 like "Star Trek", but Kirk and Spock are gay 66 00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,370 or "Gilmore Girls", but they're guys and they're gay, 67 00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:42,030 or "Stranger Things", but it's a movie set in the '90s 68 00:02:42,070 --> 00:02:44,250 and they're --Yeah, I get -- I get it. 69 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,070 It's my second favorite hobby. 70 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:47,680 My first is... 71 00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:49,120 We should open it! 72 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:50,380 I wonder what it is. 73 00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:53,340 A mirror from Zach's house! 74 00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:58,610 ♪♪ 75 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:08,970 ♪♪ 76 00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:18,280 ♪♪ 77 00:03:21,980 --> 00:03:24,020 And you think they're slobs when they're alive. 78 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,240 Kevin! Kevin! 79 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,720 I won! 80 00:03:27,770 --> 00:03:29,510 My story, "Chad The Impaler", 81 00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,640 won the Vampire Creek Slash Fiction competition. 82 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,600 What are you doing tonight? 83 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,860 Oh, uh, tonight? 84 00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,780 I-I can't tonight. Let's celebrate tomorrow night! 85 00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:39,480 No, I want to celebrate tonight. 86 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,480 I'm sorry, Denise. I have a class. 87 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,390 A what? 88 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,260 Do you think all I want to do with my life is dig graves? 89 00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,740 I mean, I don't want to brag, 90 00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:48,570 but I always thought that if I applied myself, 91 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,400 that I could one day, you know... 92 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,710 What? 93 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,270 Dig swimming pools. 94 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,490 Okay, you can miss one class. 95 00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:00,190 Why don't you tell an astronaut to miss one class? 96 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,670 Or an assassin. 97 00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:03,980 Or one of those guys that helps pandas have sex. 98 00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,810 They have a very low libido 'cause all they eat is bamboo. 99 00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,200 Kevin. 100 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,720 What am I to you? 101 00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:12,330 Am I the real deal, or am I just some side piece? 102 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,990 What's a side piece?I don't know, 103 00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,510 but they say it a lot on "Vampire Creek", 104 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,950 and I know it's not good. 105 00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:19,650 But it also makes me think of chicken, 106 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,820 and now I'm hungry. 107 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:22,650 Later, hater! 108 00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:31,660 Male sex symbol. Seven letters. 109 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:32,750 Jack. 110 00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:34,700 Oh. 111 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:36,360 Klugman. 112 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,790 Rascal. 113 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,670 Dad, I am soupset with Kevin. 114 00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,630 Prostate flare. 115 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:47,110 Got to go. 116 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,070 I just wish things were as romantic 117 00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:53,850 as they are on "Vampire Creek". 118 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,250 Mirror: Denise. 119 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,770 Or that cooking show, "One-Armed Chef." 120 00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:59,470 Denise! 121 00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:01,770 If I was dating a guy with one arm, 122 00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:03,690 he wouldn't be digging all the time. 123 00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:05,000 Hello! 124 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,040 Yes, thank you. Oh. Huh? 125 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,040 Denise. 126 00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:14,350 ♪♪ 127 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,270 What?! 128 00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,320 Whoa. 129 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,620 Zach: Denise! 130 00:05:21,660 --> 00:05:23,320 ♪♪ 131 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,710 You're finally here. 132 00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,190 Is this Vampire Creek? 133 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,370 Yes, Denise. 134 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,200 I am in love with you. 135 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,980 Oh, but TV shows aren't real. 136 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,200 Anything is possible with love. 137 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,330 Is this a dream?Don't speak. 138 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,460 Okay. I can't. 139 00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:39,200 Everything you've ever wanted 140 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,770 is in this world. 141 00:05:40,810 --> 00:05:43,030 Cats dressed as munchkins! Sure. 142 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,900 Munchkins dressed as cats!Yeah, okay, fine. 143 00:05:44,950 --> 00:05:46,730 Giraffes with tap--Denise, Denise, Denise, Denise. 144 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:49,000 There is a reason I brought you here. 145 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,350 In the world of the Nosferatu, 146 00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:52,700 there is one night 147 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:55,700 that towers above all other nights. 148 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:58,270 The junior prom of Vampire Creek High School. 149 00:05:58,310 --> 00:05:59,920 And I want you to go with me. 150 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,450 I want to go to vampire prom. 151 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:04,970 But to go, 152 00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:07,320 you have to become one of us. 153 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:10,760 I am notbecoming a boy to go to prom. 154 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:11,800 No. 155 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,370 I meant a vampire. 156 00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:15,590 Just let me bite you, 157 00:06:15,630 --> 00:06:18,200 and you can stay here with me forever. 158 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,810 If I become a vampire, can I eat Pop No. 159 00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:24,680 Can I go home and visit my dad and all my friends? 160 00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:25,900 No! 161 00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:27,430 But you won't want to, 162 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,950 to watch them age and die 163 00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:31,080 as you live on through the eons. 164 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,300 And no Pop-Tarts. No. 165 00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:36,040 I know this is a difficult decision to make, 166 00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,040 but keep in mind, we have a pretty good chance 167 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:40,180 of being voted cutest couple in the yearbook. 168 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,090 Is there any way I could, like, have a 169 00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:46,440 a trial period? Figure it out? 170 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,750 I can give you some time to decide, 171 00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,490 but once you commit to me, 172 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,890 the only way you can leave this world 173 00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:53,930 is through death! 174 00:06:53,970 --> 00:06:55,800 Oh. We cool? 175 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,460 Yeah, totes. All right. 176 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,330 Remember, I am immortal, but, uh, ticktock. 177 00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,160 ♪♪ 178 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,920 ♪♪ 179 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,010 I knew it. 180 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:30,450 32 years old and she thinks she can stay out all night. 181 00:07:30,490 --> 00:07:32,530 Kids these days. 182 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,490 No wonder we can't win a war. 183 00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:40,320 Aah! Aah. 184 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,800 Stan, it -- 185 00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,550 i-it's 5:00 in the morning. What are you doing here? 186 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,900 Kev-o, you just started seeing Denise this week, right? 187 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:47,980 Well, it comes down to your definition -- 188 00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:50,160 Don't you think it's a little early for sleepovers? 189 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,770 Certainly do. 190 00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,420 Let me talk to her.Oh, she's not here. 191 00:07:53,470 --> 00:07:55,170 Go get Denise.No, really, she's not here. 192 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:56,910 Y-You're welcome to come in and look. 193 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:03,960 Kev-o, you and I have been amigos for quite a while. 194 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,610 So, be honest with me. 195 00:08:05,650 --> 00:08:07,790 Did you murder my daughter? No! 196 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:09,480 You buried her alive? No! 197 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,880 Ya drowned her? No. 198 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,180 Where'd ya do it? Winnipesaukee? No. 199 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:13,180 Squam? No. 200 00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,180 Kancamagus? No. 201 00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:15,190 Guilty men would say "no." 202 00:08:15,230 --> 00:08:16,270 Then I diddo it! 203 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,400 No! 204 00:08:17,450 --> 00:08:19,970 I don't know what your game is, 205 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:23,500 but I'm going to play along because, Kev, 206 00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:24,800 I'm global. 207 00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:40,780 And no cryin'! 208 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,820 I'm not crying. You're crying! 209 00:08:44,130 --> 00:08:46,130 ♪♪ 210 00:08:46,170 --> 00:08:49,790 Oh, this house looks just like it does on TV. 211 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:53,310 Oh, it's so cool. 212 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:54,790 Wow. 213 00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,880 [Zach exhales sharply] 214 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,400 Aah! Hey! 215 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,840 So 216 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,490 you given any more thought to what we talked about? 217 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,320 I know this isn't real, 218 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,670 and I-I know this is a dream. 219 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,930 I It's just... 220 00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:09,940 I don't know. 221 00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:11,150 But it's so perfect. 222 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,680 You will get to live here forever, 223 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,810 and I really need to feed now anyways. 224 00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:17,600 Ah!Aah! It's just a really big commitment, Zach. 225 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,770 I-I'm just not ready! 226 00:09:18,810 --> 00:09:20,160 I know, but... 227 00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:23,170 Is there any other way I can help? 228 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:28,480 ♪♪ 229 00:09:31,090 --> 00:09:33,000 Stan! I'm here! 230 00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,570 I came as soon as I could. 231 00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,050 Where'd you last see her? 232 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:39,530 Right here in this room in front of that mirror. 233 00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,660 Oh, is that the mirror she won the other night?Yeah. 234 00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:43,670 From that show where all the guys shave their chests. 235 00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,140 And what is thatabout? 236 00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:47,100 You don't see Sean Connery shave his chest. 237 00:09:47,150 --> 00:09:49,800 That guy had a front like a baboon's back. 238 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,190 Okay, it's because they're vampires 239 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,630 and they want to date teenage girls, 240 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,240 so even though they're hundreds of years old, 241 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,720 they do... 242 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,420 ...shave their -- When you say it out loud, I mean... 243 00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:59,940 Ah. 244 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:03,550 I-It's a show about feelings. 245 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,340 -Stan, it's Kevin. 246 00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:07,910 I dig graves down at the cemetery. 247 00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,910 I know who you are, Kev-o. Right. Okay. 248 00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:11,430 After you left, 249 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,040 I went and checked out all of Denise's old haunts -- 250 00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,520 the abandoned car wash, 251 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:17,000 that big pile of wigs behind the church, 252 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,480 the false teeth museum, 253 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,960 the funeral home that's only for circus people... 254 00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,830 Mirror: Evie. 255 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,360 ♪♪ 256 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,800 ...that building with no windows 257 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,230 where they make old people sew, 258 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,100 the record shop that became a video rental 259 00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,930 that's now a phone store that's closing, 260 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,190 that bridge that the goats are afraid of... 261 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,460 Evie. 262 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,680 Evie. 263 00:10:41,370 --> 00:10:43,640 ...that homeless guy who has a house he just won't go in. 264 00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,950 Hello? 265 00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:50,380 Hang on to your hat. The phone store's clos-- 266 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,130 Oh, hell, not again. 267 00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:56,960 ♪♪ 268 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,570 [Indistinct conversations, dog barking] 269 00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:03,050 Lookin' good, Crazy Ray. Lookin' good. 270 00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:06,400 Okay, you kill a hobo, and I'll drink his blood. 271 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,010 Denise: Zach, why can't you do this again? 272 00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,490 If I'm seen killing a hobo, 273 00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:11,800 I'm gonna be linked to all the other murders, 274 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,280 and I'll be kicked off the yearbook. 275 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,580 Please. 276 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,670 Okay, Denise, you can do this. 277 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:24,680 ♪♪ 278 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:28,770 Denise! What are you doing?! 279 00:11:28,810 --> 00:11:31,860 Killing a hobo with a hammer! What are youdoing?! 280 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,910 Stopping you, for one. 281 00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:36,820 It's okay. This isn't real. 282 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,350 It's a dream, and now you're in it! 283 00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,910 Denise, this is not a dream. 284 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,780 This is some kind of tailored reality, 285 00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,920 and we got to find a way to get out of here. 286 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,010 Ah! Aah! 287 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,180 Aah! 288 00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:49,530 Ah! Found a can of peaches! 289 00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:51,440 Woman: I found a can of peaches! 290 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,670 Hello? 291 00:11:57,710 --> 00:11:59,580 Leon, Denise and Evie are missing. 292 00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:00,720 You better get over here. 293 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,930 On my way! 294 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:11,070 Buckets. 295 00:12:13,290 --> 00:12:15,160 ♪♪ 296 00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:20,260 Oh, yeah, that's the stuff. 297 00:12:22,170 --> 00:12:23,740 Rise, my child. 298 00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:27,310 ♪♪ 299 00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:28,700 Aah! Depeche Mode. 300 00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,050 Aah! 301 00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:31,570 Why did you bring Denise and me here? 302 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,180 You're not even supposed to be here. 303 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,230 This world was made for Denise. She was chosen. 304 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:36,620 Why wasn't Ichosen? 305 00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,100 It's not about you. 306 00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:39,620 Then why did you bite me?! 307 00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:42,230 I wanted to bite Denise, but it has to be her choice. 308 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,370 Ugh! 309 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:44,630 Ow! 310 00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,060 ♪♪ 311 00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:47,540 How do I get outta here? 312 00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:48,810 Oh, that's easy. 313 00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:51,370 Denise just has to kill you. 314 00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:52,980 Oh! 315 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:55,380 Peachy. 316 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:56,990 Ow! Cut my tongue. 317 00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:59,250 So hungry. 318 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,080 Oh, a fridge full of blood. 319 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,340 Zach is back. 320 00:13:05,390 --> 00:13:07,910 Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you, my love?Yes. 321 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,610 Okay, Zach, we don't always have to be touching. 322 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,750 What? But how is everybody gonna know that we're dating, baby? 323 00:13:14,790 --> 00:13:16,880 There's no one here. 324 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,660 Uh, I'm here. Not that anyone cares. 325 00:13:19,710 --> 00:13:21,450 ♪♪ 326 00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,010 Zach, I need a little space, okay?Oh. 327 00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,580 Do you want to go do that together? No! 328 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,060 ♪♪ 329 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,500 Zach is confused. 330 00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:34,030 I miss Kevin. 331 00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:35,370 Oh. 332 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,200 Oh, so you have two boyfriends now? 333 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,600 Aah! 334 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,120 Must be nice to be you. 335 00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:45,990 I'd kill for a ham. 336 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,690 Like I said, the last time I saw either one of them 337 00:13:49,740 --> 00:13:51,960 was -- was right here on this spot 338 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,780 in front of that mirror. 339 00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,130 Chew on that for a second, Leon. 340 00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:56,870 And I'm gonna go get a beer. 341 00:13:58,140 --> 00:14:00,570 Mirror: Leon. 342 00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:02,790 What? 343 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,190 What are you reading? 344 00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:07,840 A magazine. 345 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,100 Oh, my gosh. That's so cool. 346 00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:10,800 Can I see it? 347 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,460 Yes. 348 00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:13,980 Bring it over. 349 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,420 I don't have my glasses on. 350 00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:19,720 There you go. 351 00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:24,770 Did you know that mirror can talk? 352 00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:26,560 It keeps saying my name. 353 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,910 It's a shame Denise left 354 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,300 before she knew she had a magic mirror. 355 00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:31,870 Oh. 356 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:42,750 ♪♪ 357 00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:44,310 Okay. 358 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,620 Oh. 359 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,410 Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. You just turned. 360 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:55,280 I think I know what I'm doing, okay? 361 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:59,940 ♪♪ 362 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:01,160 Whew! 363 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,850 Hachi machi. 364 00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:04,200 Ahh. 365 00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:06,120 All right, Leon, listen carefully. 366 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,810 I'm going in that mirror. 367 00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:09,820 I want you to hang on to -- to that end of the rope, 368 00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,040 and don't let go. 369 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,250 You got it? 370 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,170 I won't let you down.All right. 371 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,950 There you go, pal. 372 00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,920 ♪♪ 373 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,870 No! 374 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,140 Jackass. 375 00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:26,830 Eh. 376 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,060 Stan?! 377 00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:36,100 ♪♪ 378 00:15:36,150 --> 00:15:37,760 Zach: Evie, slow down. 379 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:43,500 ♪♪ 380 00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:45,070 Hey! 381 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,380 You're cute. 382 00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:47,510 What's your name? 383 00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,510 Uh-oh. 384 00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:49,730 Bartholomew. 385 00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:51,080 King of the Southern Realm. 386 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,990 Well, Bart... 387 00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:56,560 your name rhymes with "fart". 388 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,170 Deal with it. 389 00:15:58,210 --> 00:15:59,650 ♪♪ 390 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,870 Hello? Stan. 391 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,090 No, this is Leon. 392 00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,490 Leon, what are you doing there? 393 00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:11,920 You're not dating Stan, are you? 394 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,790 No! I'm talking to the magic mirror that ate Denise. 395 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,060 Oh, good. 396 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,970 Because if you were dating Stan -- 397 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,670 The magic mirror?! 398 00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:21,850 What the hell is this? 399 00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:24,800 Why is everybody dressed like a pirate? 400 00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:27,550 Evie? What the hell happened to you? 401 00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:28,630 Stan! 402 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,550 Oh, Stan. 403 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,940 I'm so happy to see you! 404 00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:36,690 You know, earlier tonight, I met a guy named Fart. 405 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,430 Woman, have you seen yourself? 406 00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,650 Oh, no, I can't. 407 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:41,690 I don't have a reflection anymore. 408 00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:44,170 But seriously, who would name their baby Fart? 409 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:46,480 Oh! 410 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,440 Yeah! 411 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,310 Bye-bye, Stan. 412 00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,090 Oh, my God. 413 00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:55,880 Bats are just hang-gliding mice. 414 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,750 I better tell Fart. 415 00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:00,280 All right, you hang on to this end of the rope. 416 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,020 I'm going through the mirror. 417 00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,890 You good? Got it. 418 00:17:03,930 --> 00:17:05,670 Let's do it! 419 00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:07,060 Wait! You might want to -- 420 00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:12,460 ♪♪ 421 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,770 Oh, shit. 422 00:17:13,810 --> 00:17:15,120 Oh, poop. 423 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,650 Mm. 424 00:17:30,610 --> 00:17:31,920 Ew! 425 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,530 Ohh. 426 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:36,660 I'm okay! 427 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,140 Nope. 428 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:41,230 Don't be mad at me! 429 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,880 Zach: Everyone? 430 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,970 Excuse me, if I can get your attention, please. 431 00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:49,500 It is time to announce prom royalty! 432 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,680 Our beautiful prom queen... 433 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,850 ...D-D-D-Denise! 434 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:56,900 What? 435 00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:58,290 It's me. 436 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,770 ♪♪ 437 00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:03,380 Huh? 438 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:09,870 ♪♪ 439 00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:14,350 ♪♪ 440 00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:16,610 Time to decide, Denise. 441 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,180 Want to stay here? 442 00:18:18,220 --> 00:18:20,310 -Denise, join us. -Join us. 443 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,440 The floor is nice. 444 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,530 Kevin: Denise! 445 00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:27,010 Denise, it's me! 446 00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:28,970 Kevin? 447 00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,500 It's me -- Kevin! 448 00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:34,240 Hi. I dig graves in the cemetery! 449 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,500 I-I hear you. I-I-I see your face. 450 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:41,420 Denise! 451 00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:45,770 Denise, come home. 452 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,210 I was afraid. 453 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,300 Of what? 454 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,080 I-I was afraid 455 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,690 you'd get to know me 456 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,350 and think I was gross. 457 00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:55,870 No! 458 00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:57,480 Well... Doesn't matter. 459 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,920 You can't stay here. This is a fantasy. 460 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,700 This whole thing is something you want to be real, 461 00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:04,180 and it's not. 462 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,320 Like -- Like guardian angels or -- or the Hulk. 463 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,230 Ow! No! 464 00:19:10,270 --> 00:19:12,450 Ohh! 465 00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:14,020 Oh, that hurts! 466 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,190 Yeah. 467 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,240 It's like stepping on a nail, 468 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,980 but with your neck. 469 00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:21,420 ♪♪ 470 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:23,640 All right, Zach, 471 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,250 I will let you turn me into a vampire. 472 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,120 But please let my friends go. 473 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,600 The only way your friends can leave 474 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,430 is if you kill them. 475 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:35,340 Kill them as in they'll be...dead? 476 00:19:35,390 --> 00:19:37,430 That's the only way they can go back. 477 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,830 Okay. 478 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,970 Kevin, I really, really liked what you had to say. 479 00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,100 Thanks. 480 00:19:53,580 --> 00:19:54,580 Ohh! 481 00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:58,840 Ohh! 482 00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:00,670 Denise: Evie, I'm really sorry, 483 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,240 but I'm gonna have to stab you through the heart 484 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,680 with this table leg. 485 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:06,200 Oh, that's okay. Just don't move me. 486 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,420 Okay. 487 00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:10,200 5, 6, 7, 8. 488 00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,300 You ever found yourself on the back of a Harley 489 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:19,650 at sunrise in Kennebunkport? 490 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:21,000 No, no. 491 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,390 Now, don't you go turning me 492 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,610 into a sparkling pile of lady dust. 493 00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:28,740 Dad, I think I'm gonna enjoy killing you most of all. 494 00:20:28,790 --> 00:20:30,140 No, no. 495 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:33,100 No! Ohh! 496 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,360 Aah! 497 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,020 It's time, Denise. 498 00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,150 This world was made for you. 499 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,020 I know. That's the problem. 500 00:20:48,810 --> 00:20:52,250 Aah! Ohh, you can't kill Zach! 501 00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:54,990 Obviously, you can. I'm just being dramatic. 502 00:20:55,030 --> 00:20:56,820 ♪♪ 503 00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,990 Still the queen, though, right? 504 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,260 Yeah! 505 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,480 Is everyone okay? 506 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,870 This never happened. 507 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,620 Is everybody understood on that? 508 00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:16,400 Uh-huh. 509 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,320 So, my plan worked. 510 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:22,320 ♪♪ 511 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,930 Mirror: Bye, nerds.