1
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,241
**

2
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,514
OKAY, GUYS,

3
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,611
YOU HAVE BEEN TRAINED
FOR ALL KINDS OF MISSIONS.

4
00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,083
BUT YOU ARE ABOUT
TO ENTER A SOUL-BRUISING,

5
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:16,523
CONFIDENCE-CRUSHING
APOCALYPTICAL ENVIRONMENT:

6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,650
HIGH SCHOOL.

7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:23,690
ADAM, BREE, YOUR GLITCH TEST
RESULTS ARE FAIRLY STABLE.

8
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,534
YES!
I'M GOING TO SCHOOL!

9
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:26,659
I'M FAIRLY STABLE!

10
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:30,434
BUT, CHASE, I AM STILL CONCERNED
ABOUT YOUR COMMANDO APP.

11
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,625
COMMANDO APP?

12
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:36,166
PUT ON SOME UNDERPANTS.
WE'RE GOING TO SCHOOL.

13
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:39,544
NO, SEE, IN THE FACE
OF AN IMMINENT THREAT,

14
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,643
CHASE'S COMMANDO
APP KICKS IN

15
00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,675
AND HE BECOMES
A FEARLESS BRUTE

16
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,181
I LIKE TO CALL SPIKE.

17
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,753
IT'S KINDA LIKE
A FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT THING,

18
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,521
EXCEPT I TOOK OUT THE FLIGHT
PART, 'CAUSE, USELESS.

19
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,621
AND I REPLACED IT

20
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:53,552
WITH A TESTOSTERONE LEVEL

21
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:56,357
OF LIKE A TASMANIAN
DEVIL-WOLVERINE-

22
00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,630
SHARK-LION HYBRID
THAT'S MAD.

23
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,166
DON'T WORRY,
MR. DAVENPORT.

24
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,628
I PROMISE THAT SPIKE
WON'T REAR HIS UGLY HEAD.

25
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,197
OH, YEAH? YOU MEAN
LIKE LAST CHRISTMAS

26
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,707
WHEN I MADE THE MISTAKE
OF GIVING ADAM BOXING GLOVES?

27
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,380
( growls )

28
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,307
ANYBODY ELSE CONFUSED ABOUT
THE DON'T-PUNCH-ME RULE?

29
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:28,286
UGH. I'M STILL
COUGHING UP TINSEL.

30
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:34,327
YOU KNOW,
LETTING CHASE GO TO SCHOOL,
ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA.

31
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,602
I CAN'T RISK
SPIKE COMING OUT.

32
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:40,100
OH, COME ON, BIG "D."

33
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,774
CHASE HAS TO COME.

34
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,102
WITH THESE GUYS,
I'LL FINALLY GET
A PRIME SPOT

35
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,838
IN THE CAFETERIA.

36
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:47,743
THAT'S RIGHT, Y'ALL.

37
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,735
PUT ON YOUR COATS,
'CAUSE I'M ABOUT
TO RIDE YOUR TAIL!

38
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,810
DON'T WORRY.

39
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,247
WE'LL MAKE SURE HE STAYS
OUT OF TROUBLE, RIGHT GUYS?

40
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,624
YEAH. IT'S ONE FOR ALL
AND ALL FOR ONE.

41
00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,562
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU GUYS MAKE ME LOOK BAD,

42
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,819
IN WHICH CASE,
I AM DROPPING YOU LAME-OS.

43
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:06,587
MR. DAVENPORT,
I CAN'T MISS SCHOOL.

44
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,697
THIS IS THE BEGINNING
OF MY ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS

45
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,399
AND CAREER TRAJECTORY.

46
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,731
I MEAN, THE ROAD TO ASTRONAUT
LAWYER HAS TO START SOMEWHERE.

47
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,639
OKAY.

48
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,740
BUT I BETTER NOT GET
A CALL FROM THE ART TEACHER

49
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:22,712
SAYING THAT SPIKE
RIPPED OUT HER LARYNX.

50
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,213
ACTUALLY, SHE WOULDN'T
BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING,

51
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,705
BECAUSE SPIKE RIPPED
OUT HER LAR--

52
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:30,447
THE POINT IS JUST KEEP
HIM OUT OF TROUBLE.

53
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,694
HEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

54
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,720
( groans )

55
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,760
LOOK, I'M SORRY, BUT IF HE'S
THAT CLOSE TO THE GLOVES,

56
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:41,902
IT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

57
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,729
Narrator:
THE WORLD'S FIRST
BIONIC SUPERHUMANS.

58
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:46,695
THEY'RE STRONGER THAN US,

59
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,774
FASTER, SMARTER--

60
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,512
THE NEXT GENERATION
OF THE HUMAN RACE IS...

61
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,909
LIVING IN MY BASEMENT?

62
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,211
**

63
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,877
**

64
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,947
OKAY, YOU GUYS.

65
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,482
THAT'S PRINCIPAL PERRY.

66
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,817
SHE HAS THE TEMPERAMENT
OF A JUNKYARD DOG

67
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,992
STUFFED INTO A REALLY
BAD PANTSUIT.

68
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,333
HEY, YOU!

69
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,758
NO TONGUE RINGS IN SCHOOL!

70
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:48,334
DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT.

71
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:51,402
I WILL TAKE A METAL DETECTOR
TO YOUR FACE!

72
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,965
THIS IS IT.
MY CHANCE FOR ROMANCE.

73
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,374
ON TV, THE NEW GIRL
ALWAYS DROPS HER BOOKS

74
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,477
AND THE CUTE GUY WITH THE
SOULFUL EYES PICKS THEM UP.

75
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,552
OOPS! SORRY, I'M NEW.

76
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:17,390
OKAY, YOUR SOCIAL LIFE
IS DETERMINED BY
WHERE YOU SIT.

77
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:20,255
WE CAN'T SIT AT
THE COOL TABLE.

78
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:24,534
BUT WE CAN BE
COOL TABLE ADJACENT.

79
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:29,265
FYI, ADAM JUST SAT DOWN
AT THE COOL TABLE.

80
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:32,013
Leo: WHAT?!

81
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,769
HE CAN'T SIT THERE!

82
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,277
THAT'S WHERE THE
FOOTBALL PLAYERS

83
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,509
SIT WITH THE CHEERLEADERS.

84
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:39,014
AND THEY PRIDE THEMSELVES ON
FINDING VERY CLEVER PLACES

85
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,406
TO STUFF YOUR PUDDING CUP.

86
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,389
THOSE GIRLS ARE
ACTUALLY TALKING TO HIM.

87
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:48,388
AND THEY CAN'T TALK ABOUT
SHAPES AND COLORS FOREVER.

88
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,462
SEE YA.

89
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,631
NO!

90
00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,329
THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS
ARE GONNA TURN THEM

91
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,801
INTO THE 5th FOOD GROUP.

92
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:59,829
IT'S A RESCUE MISSION.
MOVE IN. MOVE IN.

93
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:00,927
OH, HEY, GUYS.

94
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,398
THESE GIRLS JUST TOLD ME

95
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,336
WHEN THE FOOTBALL
PLAYERS GET HERE,

96
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,611
I'M GETTING
A FREE PUDDING CUP.

97
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,877
HI!

98
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:14,310
( mumbles )
WALK AWAY.

99
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:17,548
HOW'S IT GOING?

100
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,785
YOU'RE IN GREAT DANGER.

101
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,792
( players chanting )

102
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,328
SORRY.fs )

103
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:36,896
HEY. THAT'S MY SEAT.

104
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:40,307
GET LOST BEFORE
I USE YOU LIKE A NAPKIN.

105
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,840
CHASE, WE SHOULD
PROBABLY GO.

106
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,805
HE'S NOT VERY ABSORBENT.

107
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:49,079
OH, LOOK, A SPILL!

108
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,616
I THINK I'M GONNA WIPE
IT UP WITH YOUR FACE.

109
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:54,563
( low warbling )

110
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:00,857
( deep voice )
THINK AGAIN, BUBBLENECK.

111
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:04,504
I'M GONNA RIP OUT YOUR KNEECAPS
AND USE THEM AS HOCKEY PUCKS.

112
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:11,365
OKAY, I DON'T MEAN
TO ALARM ANYONE,

113
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,805
BUT I THINK
SPIKE'S BACK.

114
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:19,714
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO
YOU'RE MESSING WITH.

115
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,777
OKAY?

116
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,524
PUDDING CUPS!

117
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,820
OHH, I'LL
TAKE THHEY!

118
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:30,564
OOOOH!

119
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,529
YOU'RE DEAD!

120
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,925
( roars )

121
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,697
YOU, OKAY, OKAY.

122
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,806
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT WE HAVE TO GO
TO THE READING CENTER RIGHT NOW.

123
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,110
( cheers and applause )

124
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,419
( deep voice )
TAKE A SEAT, COMPADRES.

125
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:02,562
THIS IS OUR TABLE NOW.

126
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:05,630
HELLO, LADIES.

127
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,899
YOU MAY REMEMBER
ME FROM HEALTH CLASS

128
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,928
WHEN I PASSED OUT DURING
THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH VIDEO.

129
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,903
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

130
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,865
**

131
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:22,582
( warbling )
HEY, DADDY'S HOME!

132
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,880
THAT'S NEVER GONNA
STOP BEING WEIRD.

133
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,612
I'LL BE IN THE LAB.

134
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,077
WITH THE KIDS AT SCHOOL,
I'M GONNA GET SO MUCH WORK DONE.

135
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,446
BUT I'M ALL ALONE.

136
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,554
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA PLAY WITH ME.

137
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:35,586
COME ON!
LET'S PLAY DODGE BALL!

138
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,793
I'M A GROWN MAN,

139
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,085
I DON'T HAVE TIME
TO PLAY DODGE BALL.

140
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,757
BESIDES, YOU CHEAT.

141
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,525
YOU DO TOO CHEAT.

142
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,474
DO NOT.

143
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,899
FINE. ALL RIGHT.
WE'LL PLAY ONE GAME.

144
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:54,105
EDDIE. THAT'S CHEATING.

145
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,581
AND YOU WEREN'T EVEN TRYING.

146
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,950
BIG CHEATER.

147
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,452
ALL RIGHT.

148
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,993
MAKE ROOM FOR
THE ALPHA DOGS.

149
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,658
WOOF! WOOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

150
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:10,118
OKAY. DO THAT.

151
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,087
WAIT, IF WE'RE
THE ALPHA DOGS,

152
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,956
THEN...

153
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,667
OH, I LOVE THIS!

154
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,844
( deep voice )
WHAT'S THIS?

155
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,543
THAT'S AN ALL
ACCESS HALL PASS.

156
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,476
YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE
YOU WANT WITH THAT.

157
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,850
I CAN GO ANYWHERE
I WANT ALREADY.

158
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:38,621
THESE, UGH,
ARE MY HALL PASSES.

159
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:44,161
OKAY, IF HE STARTS OILING UP,
I'M OUT.

160
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,504
( low warbling )

161
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,729
( normal voice )
COMMANDO APP DISENGAGED?

162
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,126
GUYS!

163
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,197
WHY WAS I IN
COMMANDO MODE?

164
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,666
I DIDN'T SEE A COMMANDO MODE.

165
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:01,506
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
EVERYONE KEEP LYING.

166
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,981
YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED
TO WATCH OUT FOR ME.

167
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:05,851
OH, WE WATCHED
THE WHOLE THING.

168
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,819
YOU MANHANDLED THE QUARTERBACK

169
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,578
AND PUDDING POPPED
THE WHOLE OFFENSIVE LINE!

170
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:11,748
WHAT?

171
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,545
AW, GREAT.

172
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:14,887
THIS IS SO GONNA
COME BACK TO HAUNT

173
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,732
MY SUPREME COURT
NOMINATION.

174
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,588
YOU KNOW WHAT SPIKE WOULD
SAY TO THAT? NOTHING.

175
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,028
HE'D RIP OUT YOUR RIB CAGE
AND PLAY IT LIKE A XYLOPHONE.

176
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,532
YEAH, I LIKE HIM.

177
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:31,236
HE'S LIKE A BIG, FUN MONSTER,
AND YOU'RE A SAD LITTLE BUDDY.

178
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,941
I'LL GET SPIKE BACK.

179
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,784
GET LOST BEFORE I USE
YOU LIKE A NAPKIN.

180
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:41,150
( grunts )

181
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,656
YEAH, THIS
ISN'T GONNA WORK.

182
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:53,931
( warbling )

183
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,961
GUESS WHO-OO?

184
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:58,996
EDDY, I-- I REALLY
NEED YOU TO BE QUIET.

185
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:03,602
ALL RIGHT. QUIET.
SSHHH!

186
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:06,637
* WHO'S THE LUCKIEST
GIRL AT THE FAIR *

187
00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:09,614
* IT'S THE GIRL WHO
WAS RIGHT WITH ME THERE *

188
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,743
SU-EEEEY!

189
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:14,978
EDDY! YOUR SINGING VOICE
IS LIKE CATS BEING DRAGGED

190
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,145
DOWN A BLACKBOARD.

191
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,953
UH, SORRY.
YOU'RE WORKING.

192
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,756
SHUSH!

193
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:24,789
( hums a tune )

194
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:30,627
EDDY. ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS,

195
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,034
BUT YOU LEAVE ME
NO OTHER CHOICE.

196
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,242
THERE. FINALLY.

197
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:42,877
( musical ringtone )

198
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,040
HELLO?

199
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,707
HI!

200
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,290
Eddy:
I'M STILL HERE!

201
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,129
HEY, BABY.
WANNA NIBBLE?

202
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,188
HEY, THERE'S TRENT.

203
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:04,701
I BETTER GO APOLOGIZE.

204
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:07,902
WHOA! SLOW IT UP,
BUTTERCUP.

205
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:11,265
MAIL HIM A GREETING CARD.
IT'S SO MUCH MORE PERSONAL.

206
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,914
GUYS, LOOK.

207
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,110
THE CHEERLEADERS CUT UP
MY FOOD INTO TINY PIECES.

208
00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:18,182
I'M EATING A TURKEY BURGER
THROUGH A STRAW.

209
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,151
MMM. GIBBLET-Y!

210
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,021
HEY! NEW KID! COME HERE!

211
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,151
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

212
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,156
WHEN MY FOOTBALL PLAYERS
GET HUMILIATED?

213
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:30,962
NO! YOU DON'T.

214
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,831
BECAUSE MY FOOTBALL PLAYERS
DON'T GET HUMILIATED.

215
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,861
THEY LOOK HUMILIATED TO ME.

216
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,326
( slurps )

217
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,214
I KNOW WHAT TEAM
SPIRIT IS ABOUT.

218
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,809
BECAUSE I WAS THE JAMMER

219
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:51,041
ON THE NORTH PACIFIC
ROLLER DERBY CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM.

220
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,424
QUITE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT.

221
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:59,688
DON'T MOCK ME,
SQUASH FACE.

222
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,719
MY CAREER ENDED WHEN
A TRASH TALKER LIKE YOU

223
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:04,285
GOT INSIDE MY HEAD
AND I WIPED.

224
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,764
ONE ZEBRA CALLED IT

225
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,303
THE WORST SINGLE-BODIED
COLLISION SHE'D EVER SEEN.

226
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,798
I'D CRASH TOO IF I SAW
A TALKING ZEBRA.

227
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,372
IT'S A REFEREE,
YOU DESK DONKEY.

228
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,041
THEY TOLD ME WHAT YOU DID
THIS MORNING AT BREAKFAST.

229
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,309
YOU WILL NOT UNDERMINE
THE MORALE OF MY TEAM.

230
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:22,039
EVACUATE THIS TABLE.

231
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,435
NOW!

232
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:29,819
( low warbling )

233
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:33,050
( deep voice )
WATCH WHO YOU'RE
TALKING TO, SPORTS BRA.

234
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,488
I BET YOU PANICKED,

235
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,393
THREW YOURSELF
OFF THE TRACK

236
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,525
AND BLAMED THE OTHER
TEAM FOR YOUR WEAKNESS.

237
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:47,267
DO YOU THINK THIS SPIKE THING'S
GOTTEN A BIT OUT OF HAND?

238
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,370
HE MIGHT'VE CROSSED
THE LINE AT SPORTS BRA.

239
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,472
I HAD TO QUIT BECAUSE
OF THAT ACCIDENT.

240
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:58,747
QUIT? OR MOVE OUT
OF THE STATE IN SHAME?

241
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,078
OOOOH.

242
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,854
HE DOESN'T KNOW!

243
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:07,224
HE WASN'T THERE.

244
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,764
WHY DON'T YOU HOP
IN YOUR ECONOMY CAR

245
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,329
AND TOOTLE ON HOME
TO YOUR SIX CATS

246
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:15,059
AND YOUR ONLINE
BINGO TOURNAMENT.

247
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,125
JOKES ON YOU.

248
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:20,134
I HAVE FIVE CATS. HA!

249
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:27,271
YOU DIDN'T GET
OUR TABLE BACK.

250
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,907
BUMMING US OUT.

251
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,912
EVEN MORE BUMMED OUT
WHEN WE LOSE.

252
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,245
( whines )
DO SOMETHING.

253
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:38,852
ALL RIGHT, KID.

254
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:40,916
I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

255
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:44,264
LET'S BE CIVILIZED AND SETTLE
THIS THE OLD FASHIONED WAY.

256
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:49,931
WITH A BONE-CRUSHING GRUDGE
MATCH ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD!

257
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,573
WE'RE IN. ME...

258
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:56,899
HIM, HER... AND HIM.

259
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,312
YOU AND YOUR BAND OF NOBODIES
VERSUS MY FIGHTING DINGOES.

260
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,912
WHO IS SHE CALLING A NOBODY?

261
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,984
I GOT HALF
A BFF NECKLACE TODAY.

262
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:10,054
WINNER TAKES TABLE
AND ALL THE GLORY.

263
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:14,353
OH, MA'AM, AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE
TO FLEX MY FOOTBALL FANCINESS,

264
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,987
UM, GIRLS SOCCER HAS
THE FIELD TONIGHT.

265
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,055
AH, JUST AS WELL.

266
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,933
I CAN'T CONDONE SUCH A VIOLENT
GAME ON SCHOOL GROUNDS.

267
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,527
SO LET'S TAKE IT TO THE
DOG PARK ACROSS THE STREET!

268
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,366
Dingoes: YEAH!

269
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,912
AM I THE ONLY ONE
THAT'S GONNA NEED

270
00:14:33,941 --> 00:14:36,141
A FRESH CHANGE OF
PANTS BEFORE WE START?

271
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:45,019
( cheering )

272
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,162
THIS DOESN'T SEEM FAIR.

273
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,003
SEEMS FAIR TO ME.

274
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,628
LET'S GET IT ON!
( whistle )

275
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,073
LEPARDON ME?.

276
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,129
I HUDDLED BEFORE
I GOT HERE.

277
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:03,968
OH, MAN, YOU GUYS DON'T
KNOW HOW TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

278
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,044
OKAY, WE NEED
TO STOP THAT TEAM

279
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,413
FROM GETTING INTO OUR
END ZONE AND SCORING A...

280
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,111
HIKE!

281
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:14,012
( screams )

282
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,117
...TOUCHDOWN.

283
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:23,264
ALL RIGHT, ADAM.

284
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,590
YOU SQUAT DOWN RIGHT HERE,

285
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,125
AND WHEN I SAY, "HIKE,"

286
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,060
YOU'RE GONNA PASS THE BALL
BETWEEN YOUR LEGS TO MY HANDS

287
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,056
WHICH WILL BE RIGHT HERE.

288
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,427
WHOA!

289
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,074
HEY, IT'S FOOTBALL.
IT'S NOT HANDSBALL.

290
00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:36,372
BREAK!

291
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,013
HEY, NUGGETHEAD.

292
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:42,078
QUIT SUCKING AIR AND HIKE
HIM THE BALL LIKE THIS.

293
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,681
( yells )
HEY!

294
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,254
SAFETY! TWO POINTS!

295
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,555
LOSING MAKES ME WANNA RIP OUT
MY OWN INTESTINES

296
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,430
AND WEAR 'EM
AS A SWEAT BAND.

297
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,429
OKAY.

298
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,231
THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GONNA WIN
IS IF WE USE YOUR SUPER SPEED,

299
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:08,604
YOUR SUPER STRENGTH AND YOUR
SUPER-NUTTY SPLIT PERSONALITY.

300
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,335
I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.

301
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,040
I ALREADY SMELL LIKE
A SWEATY APE.

302
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,042
I DON'T WANT THIS
TO BE FOR NOTHING.

303
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,684
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

304
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,477
All: BREAK!

305
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:22,382
YEAH! GO TEAM!
WHOO!

306
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,445
I'M A FOOTBALL PLAYER
AND A CHEERLEADER.

307
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,194
I'M THAT GOOD.

308
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,019
( whistle blows )

309
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,186
HEY. IS THAT A BIGGIE BURGER
TRUCK PULLING UP?

310
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:37,256
( loud whooshing )

311
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,527
GUESS NOT. HIKE!

312
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:43,066
HEY! HOW'D OUR SHOES
GET TIED TOGETHER?

313
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,711
TOUCHDOWN!

314
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:52,182
( cheering )

315
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,112
( roars )

316
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:57,677
WHOO! YEAH! WHOO!

317
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,352
WELL, IF BREE CAN BE
A CHEERLEADER, I CAN TOO!

318
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,758
WHHOOO!O!

319
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:13,173
EDDY, I OWE YOU
A HUGE APOLOGY.

320
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,100
I SHOULD'VE NEVER COVERED
YOU WITH STICKY NOTES.

321
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:17,596
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

322
00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,007
NOW ENTERTAIN ME!

323
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,768
WHAT AM I, A BALLOON? NO.

324
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,538
BUT I DO HAVE
SOMETHING THAT WILL.

325
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,276
( warbling )

326
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,112
EDDY, MEET EDIE.

327
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,477
WELL, HELLO THERE.
AREN'T YOU EASY ON THE SCREEN.

328
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,147
HIYA, HOT STUFF!

329
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:35,285
YOU LOOK LIKE A MILLION
MEGAPIXELS.

330
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,332
I BET YOU SAY THAT
TO ALL THE EMOTICONS.

331
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:41,258
JUST THE CURVY ONES
WITH ONE EYE.

332
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,803
YOU DESIGNED HER FOR ME?
I LOVE YOU, MAN.

333
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,443
I LOVE YOU TOO...

334
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:51,398
VAGUELY DISTURBING
SMART-HOME SYSTEM.

335
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,614
( cheering )

336
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,214
SEVEN SECONDS LEFT.

337
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,206
NOW REMEMBER, KIDS,

338
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,247
THERE'S NO SHAME IN LOSING.

339
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,482
OH, WAIT.
YES, THERE IS!

340
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,187
( Perry cackles )

341
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:09,559
GAME ON!
( blows whistle )

342
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,589
ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE
TIME FOR ONE MORE PLAY.

343
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,064
SPIKE, YOU SCORED
EVERY TOUCHDOWN TODAY.

344
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,233
YOU SCORE ONE MORE
AND WE WIN.

345
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:16,632
GIVE ME THE BALL.

346
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,233
IF I DON'T COME BACK
WITH THEIR SPLEENS,

347
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,766
YOU'LL KNOW I FAILED.

348
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,767
( low warbling )

349
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,309
( normal voice )
WAIT! WHERE AM I?

350
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,454
AND AM I WEARING
A JOCK STRAP?

351
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,180
OH, NO.

352
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,375
IT'S CHASE.

353
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:40,116
WE NEED SPIKE BACK!
WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS SPIKE?

354
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:43,323
HEY, LET'S GO!
WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!

355
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,686
TIME OUT!

356
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,594
( whistle blows )

357
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,826
I TOLD YOU.
I DON'T WANNA BE SPIKE.

358
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,201
LOOK, I'VE BEEN WAITING

359
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,170
FOR MY FIRST DAY OF
SCHOOL FOR 15 YEARS.

360
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,670
AND NOW I DON'T
EVEN REMEMBER IT.

361
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:59,812
WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY,
I JUST FEEL SELFISH.

362
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:03,139
YEAH.

363
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,684
OH, COME ON!
SNAP OUT OF IT!
I WANNA WIN!

364
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,253
NO, HE'S RIGHT.

365
00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,523
COME ON, GUYS,
WE CAN STILL WIN THIS THING.

366
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,352
AND EVEN IF WE DON'T,
WHAT DO WE HAVE TO LOSE?

367
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,857
POPULARITY.

368
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,358
EVERYTHING.

369
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,360
COME ON, WE PLAYING FOOTBALL
OR WE PLAYING PUTT-PUTT?
(laughs )

370
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,863
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

371
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,226
I'LL DO
A FLEA-FLICKER TOSS TO YOU.

372
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:30,396
AND I'LL USE
MY MATHEMATICAL ANALYSIS
TO THROW THE PERFECT PASS.

373
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,507
ADAM, ASSUME THE POSITION.

374
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:36,679
ALL RIGHT, THIS IS
THE LAST TIME I'M DOING THIS.

375
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,209
( whistle blows )

376
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,345
( cheering )

377
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:45,392
READY? HIKE!

378
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:56,198
CHASE! OVER HERE!

379
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:02,300
CHASE! I'M OPEN!
THROW IT TO ME!

380
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:06,540
DON'T THROW IT TO HER!
THROW IT TO ME!

381
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,683
CHASE! OVER HERE!

382
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,949
CHASE! I'M OPEN!

383
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:18,319
THROW IT!

384
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:25,255
( groaning )

385
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,692
GAME OVER! DINGOES WIN!

386
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,629
YEAH!

387
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,432
SEE YA IN THE CAFETERIA,
ALPHA DUDS!

388
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,367
OH!

389
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:39,942
AND THE PUDDING'S ON YOU.
( laughs )

390
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:44,242
WELL, WE MAY NOT BE
THE ALPHA DOGS ANYMORE,

391
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:46,277
BUT AT LEAST
WE STILL HAVE EACH OTHER.

392
00:20:46,313 --> 00:20:48,213
WE'RE NOT TOTAL NOBODIES.

393
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,747
NO, WE ARE TOTAL NOBODIES,

394
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:53,592
BUT AT LEAST I HAVE YOU THREE
TO CARRY MY BROKEN BUTT HOME.

395
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:03,828
YOUR WHOLE LIFE'S
A DISAPPOINTMENT.

396
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,633
AT LEAST I DON'T
LOOK LIKE A FROG!

397
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:07,925
PEOPLE LOVE FROGS.
YOU LOOK LIKE AN OWL!

398
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,497
OWLS ARE WISE.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS WISE?

399
00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:11,767
OLD PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

400
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:15,814
YEAH, I'M OLD.
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
JOINING A BOY BAND?

401
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:17,942
YOU LOOK LIKE A POODLE!!

402
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,677
PEOPLE MAKE CALENDARS
OF POODLES.

403
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:21,812
HOW MANY BULLDOG CALENDARS
HAVE YOU SEEN?

404
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,678
TEN. I COLLECT 'EM.

405
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,686
THEY MUST BE WORTH A LOT
'CAUSE THEY'RE SO RARE.

406
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:27,818
SPEAKING OF RARE,
WHEN WAS YOUR LAST DATE?

407
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:31,424
TUESDAY. WE HAD CLAMS.
THEY LOOKED JUST LIKE YOU.

408
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,928
( sniffs ) ARE YOU SWEATING?
'CAUSE I SMELL GRAVY.

409
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,000
YEAH, WELL, LUCKY FOR US,
WE ALREADY HAVE THE TURKEY!

410
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:41,599
HEY, IRELAND CALLED.
THEY WANT THEIR
LEPRECHAUN BACK!

411
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:44,972
**