1 00:00:00,215 --> 00:00:03,673 And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They are unreadable. 2 00:00:03,751 --> 00:00:05,218 They're just numbers and boring and... 3 00:00:05,286 --> 00:00:06,310 Blech! 4 00:00:06,387 --> 00:00:09,481 So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, 5 00:00:09,557 --> 00:00:12,651 like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud. 6 00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:18,558 And when we have a good quarter, 7 00:00:18,633 --> 00:00:22,501 fireworks or a racecar. 8 00:00:23,404 --> 00:00:26,498 Doesn't have to be a racecar. Use your imagination. 9 00:00:26,574 --> 00:00:29,304 There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, 10 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:33,211 and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, 11 00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:36,375 and then at the last minute, it hits a wall and bounces away. 12 00:00:36,451 --> 00:00:39,818 We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. 13 00:00:42,023 --> 00:00:45,891 Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. 14 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,861 Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it. 15 00:00:49,464 --> 00:00:52,194 I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. 16 00:00:52,267 --> 00:00:54,428 Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that I didn't see it? 17 00:00:54,502 --> 00:00:55,560 I saw it. 18 00:00:55,803 --> 00:00:58,567 We have a lot of colored paper here. 19 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,006 Why, oh, why do we keep printing this on white? 20 00:01:01,075 --> 00:01:02,838 No! Come on! 21 00:01:02,911 --> 00:01:05,209 Yeah! I know. 22 00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:07,209 I know. It's bland. 23 00:01:07,282 --> 00:01:08,442 It's never going to happen. 24 00:01:08,516 --> 00:01:10,347 Dude, you gotta believe. 25 00:01:10,518 --> 00:01:13,043 Maybe we could have some sort of riddle? 26 00:01:13,121 --> 00:01:14,145 Wait for it. 27 00:01:14,222 --> 00:01:20,058 Like something that you have to look for, sort of a Where's Waldo? 28 00:01:24,632 --> 00:01:26,759 All right. All right. Let's quit while we're ahead. 29 00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,131 That was so awesome. 30 00:01:28,203 --> 00:01:30,535 That was awesome. Thank you. 31 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:36,101 Some days I am just on fire. What can I say? 32 00:02:09,978 --> 00:02:11,502 Hey. There he is. 33 00:02:11,579 --> 00:02:13,274 Hey, Meredith. How are you feeling? 34 00:02:13,348 --> 00:02:15,077 I never thanked you for coming to the hospital. 35 00:02:15,149 --> 00:02:17,640 Oh, please. It was my pleasure. Well, we all came, so... 36 00:02:17,719 --> 00:02:19,949 Well, I really appreciate you coming. 37 00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:21,955 I'm singling you out. 38 00:02:23,124 --> 00:02:25,251 Anyway, I have this Sharpie, 39 00:02:25,326 --> 00:02:28,022 and I was wondering if you could sign my cast. 40 00:02:28,129 --> 00:02:29,562 Mmm-hmm. 41 00:02:34,736 --> 00:02:35,896 Can you write where I can read it? 42 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,369 Oh, yeah. 43 00:02:43,211 --> 00:02:45,441 I'll read this when I get home. 44 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:46,878 All right. 45 00:02:50,218 --> 00:02:52,516 Michael, this is the press release I was telling you about. 46 00:02:52,587 --> 00:02:54,316 Ryan wants you to share it with everyone. 47 00:02:54,389 --> 00:02:55,651 Does he? 48 00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:56,985 He does. 49 00:02:57,859 --> 00:02:59,952 Okay. Attention. 50 00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:02,019 Earthlings, I have some news. 51 00:03:02,096 --> 00:03:05,190 Beep, beep, beep. 52 00:03:05,266 --> 00:03:06,824 Beep, beep, beep. Okay. 53 00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:10,803 Today is the big day that I'm heading to New York to attend a party 54 00:03:10,872 --> 00:03:12,897 with sushi and important people. 55 00:03:13,141 --> 00:03:16,008 On an unrelated note, if anybody has an interesting anecdote 56 00:03:16,077 --> 00:03:17,977 that is not boring and easy to memorize, 57 00:03:18,046 --> 00:03:20,913 please drop by my office before I leave. Thank you. 58 00:03:21,616 --> 00:03:23,948 Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us? 59 00:03:24,018 --> 00:03:29,581 And today, the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website officially launches. 60 00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:33,518 Well, the website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. 61 00:03:33,594 --> 00:03:35,653 It is my brain-grandchild. 62 00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:37,925 And to celebrate its birth, 63 00:03:38,099 --> 00:03:41,125 all of the different branches are going to have satellite parties, 64 00:03:41,202 --> 00:03:44,968 which will be connected, via webcams and fibers, 65 00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:47,735 to the real party, which is going on in New York City 66 00:03:47,809 --> 00:03:50,801 at a very exclusive nightclub. 67 00:03:50,878 --> 00:03:54,405 That is where all of the VIPs, 68 00:03:54,482 --> 00:03:59,818 including yours truly, will be partying with New York City's finest. 69 00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:01,878 And I do not mean policemen. 70 00:04:02,223 --> 00:04:04,453 The company is projecting record high sales, 71 00:04:04,525 --> 00:04:08,586 and that by 6:00, the website will be the new best salesman in the company. 72 00:04:08,663 --> 00:04:09,891 Wow. Watch out, Dwight. 73 00:04:09,964 --> 00:04:12,694 That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna be beaten by a website. 74 00:04:12,767 --> 00:04:13,961 Actually it sounds like you are. 75 00:04:14,035 --> 00:04:15,969 Really? 'Cause Ryan says so? 76 00:04:16,037 --> 00:04:18,631 That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody? 77 00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:20,173 No, it doesn't. I'll find out tonight. 78 00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:21,765 Yes, please let us know. 79 00:04:21,843 --> 00:04:23,936 I can make more sales than a computer. 80 00:04:24,011 --> 00:04:27,378 In fact, I challenge that website to make more sales than me today. 81 00:04:27,448 --> 00:04:28,881 Waste of time. 82 00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,281 What's that, pipsqueak? 83 00:04:30,351 --> 00:04:33,047 Waste of time. The website's going to win. 84 00:04:33,121 --> 00:04:34,782 You believe a computer can beat me? 85 00:04:34,856 --> 00:04:36,016 I don't care, but yes. 86 00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,455 Well, I will prove you wrong. 87 00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:39,356 I don't care, and you won't. You'll see. 88 00:04:39,427 --> 00:04:41,224 I won't be watching, and I won't. 89 00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:45,524 Dwight mercy-killed Angela's cat. 90 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,492 It's very complicated. 91 00:04:48,703 --> 00:04:52,161 It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela, 92 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,333 who were both already prone to unpleasantness. 93 00:05:01,816 --> 00:05:03,545 Stanley, you're dancing. 94 00:05:03,618 --> 00:05:05,085 No, I'm not. 95 00:05:07,121 --> 00:05:09,919 Yeah, I created a website. 96 00:05:09,991 --> 00:05:13,984 Look, at the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. 97 00:05:14,595 --> 00:05:16,085 This is a paper company, 98 00:05:16,164 --> 00:05:19,156 and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest. 99 00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:21,565 I told you I don't want you doing these things in here. 100 00:05:21,636 --> 00:05:23,968 You can use your own office or do it in the hall. 101 00:05:24,539 --> 00:05:27,235 Convergence, viral marketing, we're going guerilla, 102 00:05:27,308 --> 00:05:28,332 we're taking it the streets, 103 00:05:28,409 --> 00:05:30,400 while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. 104 00:05:30,478 --> 00:05:31,809 I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. 105 00:05:31,879 --> 00:05:34,473 In other words, it is what it is. 106 00:05:35,116 --> 00:05:37,175 Buying paper just became fun. 107 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:42,781 And this is where I will record your sales. 108 00:05:43,624 --> 00:05:44,921 Very nice, very nice. 109 00:05:44,992 --> 00:05:48,894 And then I will say something positive like, "Kudos," 110 00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:50,658 or, "Job well done." 111 00:05:50,731 --> 00:05:52,790 Or, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!" 112 00:05:55,303 --> 00:05:56,793 I can't tell if he's mocking me. 113 00:05:56,871 --> 00:05:58,498 Just ignore him. 114 00:05:59,106 --> 00:06:02,234 I can't do that. It's really hard for me to let things go. 115 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:04,471 I was mocking. 116 00:06:04,545 --> 00:06:06,012 Thank you. 117 00:06:07,048 --> 00:06:10,484 I just feel like we need something more to acknowledge when I make a sale. 118 00:06:10,551 --> 00:06:12,610 Yes! Like a chime or a bell. 119 00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:14,086 Or a gong. 120 00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:25,354 Go to my car, open the trunk, inside you will see many pelts. 121 00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:30,029 Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. 122 00:06:30,104 --> 00:06:31,298 Bring it to me. 123 00:06:31,372 --> 00:06:32,532 Yes! 124 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:41,874 Isn't 7:00 p.m. A little late for a lunch party? 125 00:06:43,217 --> 00:06:46,414 Lunch party? It's supposed to say "Launch Party." 126 00:06:47,255 --> 00:06:48,688 What is wrong with you? 127 00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:53,217 Angela is worse than usual lately, and we have a party to throw, 128 00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:57,355 so I googled, "How to deal with difficult people." 129 00:06:57,899 --> 00:06:59,594 And I got all of this. 130 00:07:00,668 --> 00:07:03,398 So we're gonna try out some new things today. 131 00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:06,971 So, how do you feel about the fact that the banner says "Lunch"? 132 00:07:07,241 --> 00:07:12,178 I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for doing something stupid. 133 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,779 Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid. 134 00:07:17,518 --> 00:07:19,986 I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be awful. 135 00:07:20,054 --> 00:07:22,852 It is awful. You've made this day awful. 136 00:07:23,324 --> 00:07:26,350 Maybe you could just change the U into an A. 137 00:07:27,028 --> 00:07:29,121 Then it would say "Lanch Party," Kevin. 138 00:07:29,196 --> 00:07:31,164 Would it really be better if it said "Lanch Party"? 139 00:07:31,232 --> 00:07:32,290 Lunch party. 140 00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:33,856 It's supposed to say "Launch." 141 00:07:33,935 --> 00:07:35,562 Okay, wow, easy, booster seat. 142 00:07:35,636 --> 00:07:37,695 Nobody cares about this party anyway. 143 00:07:37,772 --> 00:07:38,796 I care. 144 00:07:38,873 --> 00:07:41,467 "Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and the entire world will see it. 145 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,703 "Oh, and here's $65 for your budget. 146 00:07:43,778 --> 00:07:46,542 "Oh, and here are four idiots who will do nothing but weigh you down. 147 00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:48,104 "Oh, and your cat's still dead." 148 00:07:48,783 --> 00:07:50,011 Twenty seconds to go-time. 149 00:07:50,084 --> 00:07:51,711 Got it. Carb up. 150 00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:54,678 Really? Power Gel? 151 00:07:54,755 --> 00:07:58,020 Hey, if you want to win, you got to fuel like a winner. 152 00:07:58,859 --> 00:08:01,020 Okay, we start. 153 00:08:01,495 --> 00:08:04,225 As soon as I make this shot. 154 00:08:04,298 --> 00:08:05,492 Hey! Go! 155 00:08:05,566 --> 00:08:06,624 Yeah! 156 00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:10,462 Hello, Susan. Dwight Schrute. 157 00:08:10,538 --> 00:08:13,666 What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight, 158 00:08:13,741 --> 00:08:15,936 at the same time, not be working? 159 00:08:17,511 --> 00:08:19,479 What? He's going through a breakup. 160 00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:22,846 Yeah. I'm aware of that, but he's also being super-annoying, 161 00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:24,039 and I'm not a perfect person. 162 00:08:25,186 --> 00:08:26,517 Yeah! Yeah! 163 00:08:26,587 --> 00:08:27,713 Got one! 164 00:08:27,788 --> 00:08:31,019 Three reams! In your face, machines! 165 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,755 What kind of prank are you thinking? 166 00:08:35,763 --> 00:08:38,493 What if I told you I could offer free shipping? 167 00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:39,931 Sure, I'll hold. 168 00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:01,150 Not sure. Just became self-aware. 169 00:09:02,123 --> 00:09:03,715 So much to figure out. 170 00:09:04,425 --> 00:09:06,893 I think I am programmed to be your enemy. 171 00:09:07,361 --> 00:09:11,957 I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper. 172 00:09:34,488 --> 00:09:37,048 It appears that the website has become alive. 173 00:09:37,358 --> 00:09:39,724 This happens to computers and robots sometimes. 174 00:09:39,794 --> 00:09:41,318 Am I scared of a stupid computer? 175 00:09:41,395 --> 00:09:44,262 Please, that computer should be scared of me. 176 00:09:44,331 --> 00:09:48,427 I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. 177 00:09:48,502 --> 00:09:51,528 You heard me right. I did so well last February, 178 00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:54,540 that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise. 179 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:02,506 Okay. 180 00:10:03,451 --> 00:10:04,748 Yes, it's too tight. 181 00:10:04,819 --> 00:10:05,877 Way too tight. 182 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:06,942 Really? 183 00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:08,283 This is why I'm here? 184 00:10:08,355 --> 00:10:09,947 Why is it so tight? 185 00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:11,389 It's a European cut. 186 00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:13,188 It just looks bad. 187 00:10:14,028 --> 00:10:15,052 Um... 188 00:10:15,129 --> 00:10:18,621 Hey, what's hanging? 189 00:10:18,699 --> 00:10:20,462 Setting up the webcam for the party. 190 00:10:20,534 --> 00:10:22,126 Good, okay, cool. 191 00:10:26,474 --> 00:10:28,465 How many pounds do you think I can lose by 7:00? 192 00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:30,635 Depends. How much have you eaten already today? 193 00:10:30,711 --> 00:10:33,475 I had one of those big... 194 00:10:33,547 --> 00:10:35,640 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 195 00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:39,610 Just one second. We're in a meeting. I'll see if he's available. 196 00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,014 It's Jan. 197 00:10:42,556 --> 00:10:44,956 Why don't you want to go tonight? What... 198 00:10:45,025 --> 00:10:46,890 All your friends are going to be there... My friends? 199 00:10:46,961 --> 00:10:48,326 Lt'll be fun. Michael, I was terminated. 200 00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:49,718 Just... 201 00:10:49,797 --> 00:10:51,025 Is it really that important to you? 202 00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,122 Yeah. 203 00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:53,598 All right. Thank you. 204 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,191 Go by yourself. 205 00:10:55,269 --> 00:10:56,600 No. No. 206 00:10:56,771 --> 00:11:00,332 No. If I go by myself, everybody will think I'm a big loser. 207 00:11:01,575 --> 00:11:03,873 Well... Do I have your permission to invite Carole? 208 00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:05,036 What? Jeez, Michael! 209 00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:06,306 I'm sorry. 210 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:10,146 I'm sorry. It's just the first girl that popped into my head. 211 00:11:10,217 --> 00:11:11,707 I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with. 212 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,451 Nice. 213 00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:16,387 Website check, please. 214 00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:18,186 305. 215 00:11:18,259 --> 00:11:22,355 305. You, my friend, are winning handsomely. 216 00:11:23,197 --> 00:11:25,188 It just made another sale. 380. 217 00:11:25,266 --> 00:11:29,760 You, my friend, are in a very close second. 218 00:11:29,837 --> 00:11:30,895 402. 219 00:11:30,971 --> 00:11:32,802 Okay, why don't you just lay off, lady? 220 00:11:32,873 --> 00:11:35,068 What do you want me to do? Not announce it? 412. 221 00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:42,173 So, this is the dealio. 222 00:11:42,249 --> 00:11:44,547 God has smiled upon me 223 00:11:44,618 --> 00:11:48,110 and given me two tickets to the big party in New York, tonight. 224 00:11:48,189 --> 00:11:50,453 What are you doing this evening? 225 00:11:54,628 --> 00:11:55,993 Look at that. 226 00:11:56,063 --> 00:11:58,691 They have their own little language now, like twins. 227 00:11:58,766 --> 00:11:59,824 Sure, we'll go. 228 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,663 All right. Well, fight it out amongst yourselves. 229 00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,396 I was thinking Pammy, 230 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,301 but boys' night out is also good. 231 00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:06,839 I'm sorry. What? 232 00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:09,506 One of the tickets is for him. 233 00:12:09,577 --> 00:12:11,875 Just let me know who the winner is. 234 00:12:14,248 --> 00:12:15,306 Not it. Not it. No! 235 00:12:15,382 --> 00:12:16,406 I won. 236 00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:18,474 Definitely not. If anything it was a tie. 237 00:12:18,552 --> 00:12:20,349 Tie goes to the girlfriend. 238 00:12:21,455 --> 00:12:25,448 No, I realize you normally reorder in November, but what I'm suggesting... 239 00:12:25,893 --> 00:12:27,554 You did what? 240 00:12:28,128 --> 00:12:31,188 No. That's exactly what you're not supposed to do, damn it! 241 00:12:31,265 --> 00:12:32,755 Why would you reorder from a computer 242 00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:35,700 when you could have the personal touch of a salesman? 243 00:12:37,471 --> 00:12:38,904 How's it going? Fine. Good. 244 00:12:38,973 --> 00:12:40,372 Yeah? Yeah. 245 00:12:40,774 --> 00:12:41,832 You look a little worried. 246 00:12:41,909 --> 00:12:43,809 I do not look worried. 247 00:12:58,158 --> 00:12:59,489 "Here's a suggestion, computer. 248 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,825 "I assume you read binary, so why don't you zero, one, one, 249 00:13:02,897 --> 00:13:05,923 "one, one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one?" 250 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,562 Okay. 251 00:13:07,635 --> 00:13:11,867 While you were typing that, I searched every database in existence 252 00:13:11,939 --> 00:13:16,205 and learned every fact about everything and mastered the violin. 253 00:13:19,179 --> 00:13:21,306 And sold more paper. 254 00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:34,822 I asked for assorted cutlery, and I got back spoons. 255 00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:36,487 These are worthless. 256 00:13:36,563 --> 00:13:38,360 I want to understand what you're saying, 257 00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:41,333 but it's difficult for me when you use that tone. 258 00:13:44,004 --> 00:13:47,735 Phyllis, these are spoons. 259 00:13:47,808 --> 00:13:52,302 Spoons have rounded tops and are used to scoop things. 260 00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:55,078 What we need are forks, 261 00:13:55,149 --> 00:13:58,983 which have prongs or tiny spears on top. 262 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,819 And we need knives, which have blades. 263 00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,453 Do you understand me now? 264 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,559 Yes. 265 00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:08,890 Goodie. 266 00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:14,762 Hey, man. What's up, man? 267 00:14:14,835 --> 00:14:16,666 What's going on? Paper delivery. 268 00:14:16,737 --> 00:14:18,398 Oh, yeah? Kelly ordered this online. 269 00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:31,310 What are you doing? 270 00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:33,182 I am in the fight of my life against this computer, 271 00:14:33,253 --> 00:14:34,515 and every sale counts. 272 00:14:34,588 --> 00:14:37,216 But you get to put the paper in this little shopping cart and then it says, 273 00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:39,782 "Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin." 274 00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:43,724 Damn it, Kelly! It knows! It knows what you did! 275 00:14:43,797 --> 00:14:44,821 Who knows? 276 00:14:44,898 --> 00:14:45,922 Return it! Return it now! 277 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,228 Hey. 278 00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:50,395 How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapour 279 00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:53,133 over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk 280 00:14:53,207 --> 00:14:55,767 and start selling multiple reams like a man. 281 00:14:56,577 --> 00:14:58,101 You don't understand. 282 00:14:59,213 --> 00:15:00,771 Okay, if this makes the difference, 283 00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:03,976 I'm going to tell it that you were responsible. 284 00:15:04,051 --> 00:15:05,746 Who's "it"? 285 00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:12,180 There you go. 286 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:13,590 Thanks. 287 00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:15,457 So, you still missing Ryan? 288 00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:17,586 Not so much anymore. 289 00:15:22,703 --> 00:15:24,364 I am not a bad person. 290 00:15:24,438 --> 00:15:26,929 When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, 291 00:15:27,007 --> 00:15:29,066 but I never intended to use them. 292 00:15:29,143 --> 00:15:30,906 What did I intend to do with them? 293 00:15:31,345 --> 00:15:34,610 Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir, 294 00:15:34,681 --> 00:15:35,807 maybe use them. 295 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,750 Yes, Mr. Galioto, how would you like to pay 10%% less for paper 296 00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,720 than you're paying right now? 297 00:15:42,423 --> 00:15:44,482 It's not important how I got your information. 298 00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:48,585 What is important is that you say yes. Good. 299 00:15:48,662 --> 00:15:51,222 All right, I'm ready to go, and I'm calling shotgun. 300 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,287 I'm driving? 301 00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:53,799 Yes. Thank you. 302 00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:55,459 All right. Let me just say goodbye to Pam. 303 00:15:55,536 --> 00:15:59,404 Oh, yeah. You better say goodbye to Pam. Say goodbye to Pam. 304 00:16:00,274 --> 00:16:03,573 Bye. I love you. 305 00:16:07,014 --> 00:16:08,481 I love you. Okay. 306 00:16:08,549 --> 00:16:11,416 I'm leaving inside Jim's car 307 00:16:11,485 --> 00:16:13,749 I don't know when I'll be back again 308 00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:18,656 Yes, I do, tomorrow I'll be back 309 00:16:18,725 --> 00:16:20,249 I'll be back tomorrow. 310 00:16:20,761 --> 00:16:24,492 Yeah, so you know what? Why don't you guys take off a little bit early tonight? 311 00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:26,157 Because there's a party. 312 00:16:26,233 --> 00:16:29,566 A party for the website I've been planning for two weeks. 313 00:16:29,636 --> 00:16:33,902 If you are not this tall, you may not ride the rollercoaster. 314 00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:35,032 See you guys tomorrow. 315 00:16:35,109 --> 00:16:38,203 Perfect. So let me just get some basic information from you. 316 00:16:47,054 --> 00:16:50,922 Sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes. Could you repeat that? 317 00:16:53,694 --> 00:16:56,686 Yes! Ten reams for the U.S. District Court! 318 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,890 Did I happen to mention the 40 reams for the Battered Women's Shelter? 319 00:17:00,968 --> 00:17:02,196 No! 320 00:17:07,074 --> 00:17:09,406 Stop it. Give me that. Give it. 321 00:17:09,977 --> 00:17:11,205 Did you see the board? 322 00:17:11,278 --> 00:17:13,212 There's still an hour. 323 00:17:15,415 --> 00:17:17,144 You ever read this? 324 00:17:17,217 --> 00:17:20,277 Yeah. A long time ago, but I liked it. 325 00:17:20,354 --> 00:17:21,719 I got it for Ryan. 326 00:17:22,156 --> 00:17:23,987 I wanted to get him Oh, the Places You'll Go! 327 00:17:24,057 --> 00:17:25,115 But they were sold out. 328 00:17:25,192 --> 00:17:28,127 I figured it's the same sort of stuff in here. 329 00:17:28,195 --> 00:17:30,720 It's not. It's different. It's a good book. 330 00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:34,091 What was that? 331 00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:35,829 Leaving Pennsylvania. 332 00:17:37,471 --> 00:17:38,904 Two kisses. 333 00:17:38,972 --> 00:17:40,234 One for me. One for Jan. 334 00:17:40,307 --> 00:17:41,331 Gotcha. 335 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,932 You guys should come over for dinner, you and Pam. 336 00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:44,500 That would be fun. Friday? That would be fun. 337 00:17:44,578 --> 00:17:46,478 Want to come over Friday? Can't. 338 00:17:46,547 --> 00:17:48,071 After work, you... 339 00:17:48,148 --> 00:17:49,775 Oh, no, 'cause... 340 00:17:52,719 --> 00:17:54,243 You're gonna let me know when we're close, right? 341 00:17:54,321 --> 00:17:56,289 Yes. Actually, I will tell you right now. 342 00:17:56,356 --> 00:18:00,816 It's a club called Chat Room, and there's a password to get in, 343 00:18:00,894 --> 00:18:03,158 which is actually "Password," so... 344 00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:04,322 Okay. 345 00:18:05,032 --> 00:18:06,260 What are you doing? 346 00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:08,494 That is an invitation to an online party. 347 00:18:08,969 --> 00:18:10,800 No. No. I'm sure that's not. 348 00:18:11,672 --> 00:18:15,301 Are there three "W's" at the beginning of the address? 349 00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:19,076 Yes. Yeah. 350 00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:26,477 Well, the invitation says VIPs only. Is this how you treat your VIPs, Ryan? 351 00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:29,749 We're already in the city. 352 00:18:29,823 --> 00:18:33,224 The main part, with the buildings. What am I supposed to do? 353 00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:34,453 What do you want me to do tonight? 354 00:18:34,528 --> 00:18:35,756 And if you tell me 355 00:18:35,829 --> 00:18:38,821 that I have to drive back to Scranton to the satellite party, 356 00:18:38,899 --> 00:18:40,594 I am going to throw up. 357 00:18:42,002 --> 00:18:43,629 Okay, I am going to throw up. 358 00:18:43,704 --> 00:18:46,172 I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan. 359 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,435 You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. 360 00:18:48,508 --> 00:18:50,703 This is like when the freshmen would throw a party 361 00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:53,143 and wouldn't let any of the seniors go. 362 00:18:55,215 --> 00:18:59,174 Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that little twerp got the promotion over us? 363 00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:01,517 Actually, I withdrew from consideration. 364 00:19:01,588 --> 00:19:03,419 Yeah. I withdrew too. 365 00:19:11,999 --> 00:19:16,333 Four, three, two, one! 366 00:19:16,403 --> 00:19:17,700 Yes! 367 00:19:19,906 --> 00:19:22,272 After numerous projections that the computer 368 00:19:22,342 --> 00:19:24,572 would crush all salesmen in its path, 369 00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:29,207 I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight Schrute 370 00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:33,447 has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, 371 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,886 by a whopping 52 reams. 372 00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,184 Reams. 373 00:19:37,424 --> 00:19:38,982 - Wait, say it again. - Announce it again. 374 00:19:39,059 --> 00:19:40,048 Fifty-two reams! 375 00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:41,185 No, no. No, the first part. 376 00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,923 Dwight has defeated the computer. 377 00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:49,034 Hey, so, what do you think? 378 00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:51,835 I did it for you. 379 00:19:51,905 --> 00:19:53,736 I didn't ask you to do it for me. 380 00:19:54,141 --> 00:19:55,665 You didn't have to. 381 00:19:57,110 --> 00:19:59,010 How do you tell someone it's over? 382 00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:03,573 You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary? 383 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,253 Hello, Pam. 384 00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,085 Hello. Hey, 385 00:20:10,157 --> 00:20:12,523 do you have any men that you can fix me up with? 386 00:20:12,592 --> 00:20:15,288 I would like to have a relationship with a man. 387 00:20:17,230 --> 00:20:18,663 I'll get back to you. 388 00:20:18,732 --> 00:20:20,199 Let me know. 389 00:20:35,849 --> 00:20:37,612 All right, who wants to party? 390 00:20:37,684 --> 00:20:38,742 Why aren't you in New York? 391 00:20:38,819 --> 00:20:40,377 What? 392 00:20:40,454 --> 00:20:42,422 I think I faked Oscar out. 393 00:20:42,489 --> 00:20:44,753 You said you weren't coming back and we could leave early. 394 00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:46,588 I think I faked Stanley out, too. 395 00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:49,595 Who else thought that I was leaving and that you could all go home early? 396 00:20:49,663 --> 00:20:52,291 Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. 397 00:20:52,366 --> 00:20:54,527 Well, who needs New York? 398 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:57,126 Right? We can have a killer party right here in Scranton. 399 00:20:57,204 --> 00:20:58,296 Thank you. 400 00:20:58,372 --> 00:21:01,398 No, no, no. This is going to be nothing like the party you've been planning. 401 00:21:01,475 --> 00:21:05,070 This is going to be good, and everybody's gonna come. 402 00:21:06,213 --> 00:21:07,908 What's wrong with Dwight? 403 00:21:07,981 --> 00:21:09,039 He beat the computer. 404 00:21:09,116 --> 00:21:12,950 Hey, good for you. Good for you! Scranton power. 405 00:21:14,087 --> 00:21:15,349 All right, you know what? 406 00:21:15,422 --> 00:21:17,515 Angela, I'd like you to come into my office in 10 minutes. 407 00:21:17,591 --> 00:21:19,991 Bring something to write with and something to write on. 408 00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:21,118 Good! 409 00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:26,898 It was a pretty disappointing day. 410 00:21:26,967 --> 00:21:31,301 It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that 411 00:21:32,205 --> 00:21:34,833 I wasn't as important as I thought I was 412 00:21:34,908 --> 00:21:38,036 to a certain young executive who I'd cared about. 413 00:21:38,612 --> 00:21:41,604 But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. 414 00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:44,074 I did that in the car on the way home. 415 00:21:44,418 --> 00:21:45,476 How are we doing on time? 416 00:21:45,552 --> 00:21:46,780 The party starts in an hour. 417 00:21:46,853 --> 00:21:50,220 Good. These are some things that I would like to have happen. 418 00:21:51,992 --> 00:21:54,426 "Beer, light beer, streamers, orchids, 419 00:21:54,494 --> 00:21:56,291 "better lighting, something made of ice"? 420 00:21:56,363 --> 00:21:58,092 Those are just things. This is how I want it to feel. 421 00:21:58,165 --> 00:22:01,566 "Pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms, white pizza, steak"? 422 00:22:01,635 --> 00:22:05,002 I would like this party to be sexier, 423 00:22:05,071 --> 00:22:06,732 cooler, more important... 424 00:22:06,807 --> 00:22:08,604 "Chocolates, someone famous"? 425 00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:09,767 Yes. "Cool music, 426 00:22:09,843 --> 00:22:11,708 "confetti, go-go dancers"? 427 00:22:11,778 --> 00:22:14,576 I want it to embarrass all other parties. 428 00:22:14,648 --> 00:22:17,981 I want it to be a party that the guys in New York 429 00:22:18,051 --> 00:22:22,579 watch on the webcam and say, "Wow, how did they get Al Roker to come?" 430 00:22:23,290 --> 00:22:24,587 I can't do this. Yes, you can. 431 00:22:24,658 --> 00:22:25,647 I can't do it. 432 00:22:25,725 --> 00:22:27,454 Yes, you can. I know you can. 433 00:22:27,527 --> 00:22:29,961 I wouldn't say that if I didn't 100%% believe it. 434 00:22:30,030 --> 00:22:31,657 Who else could do this? 435 00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:33,997 Okay. Okay. 436 00:22:34,067 --> 00:22:36,035 No, seriously, is there anyone else who could do it better? 437 00:22:36,102 --> 00:22:38,297 Because we don't have a lot of time. 438 00:22:39,973 --> 00:22:41,736 I'll get the pizza! 439 00:22:50,550 --> 00:22:52,381 What do you think of Angela? 440 00:22:54,287 --> 00:22:55,754 I think she's efficient. 441 00:22:55,822 --> 00:22:58,290 No, not like that. As a woman. 442 00:22:58,991 --> 00:23:01,960 W-O-M-A-N. 443 00:23:02,028 --> 00:23:03,962 I hadn't noticed. 444 00:23:04,030 --> 00:23:06,123 You hadn't noticed she's a woman? 445 00:23:07,967 --> 00:23:10,367 I hear she's single and ready to mingle. 446 00:23:10,603 --> 00:23:13,071 I'm thinking about making a play for her. 447 00:23:13,239 --> 00:23:15,230 What do you think? Crazy, right? 448 00:23:15,741 --> 00:23:18,904 I think it's inappropriate to date someone you work with. 449 00:23:19,178 --> 00:23:20,406 Isn't that part of the fun? 450 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,710 No. I think you should date Kelly. 451 00:23:23,749 --> 00:23:26,445 She works here, too. How is that any different? 452 00:23:26,886 --> 00:23:28,683 She works in the annex. 453 00:23:29,655 --> 00:23:31,748 You're also welcome to date Toby. 454 00:23:34,026 --> 00:23:35,118 Okay. 455 00:23:36,129 --> 00:23:38,120 Good news! We get to go home? 456 00:23:38,197 --> 00:23:42,691 Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo. 457 00:23:43,269 --> 00:23:44,361 Wait. 458 00:23:45,104 --> 00:23:49,006 Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza By Alfredo? 459 00:23:49,542 --> 00:23:50,600 Same thing. 460 00:23:50,676 --> 00:23:51,973 No. No, it's not. 461 00:23:52,044 --> 00:23:53,409 All right. You know what? I don't understand 462 00:23:53,479 --> 00:23:54,673 when you all talk at the same time. 463 00:23:54,747 --> 00:23:57,113 Oscar, talk to him. 464 00:23:57,183 --> 00:24:00,118 Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, 465 00:24:00,186 --> 00:24:04,418 both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. 466 00:24:04,490 --> 00:24:06,390 Which one did you order from? 467 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,825 Pizza By Alfredo. 468 00:24:09,896 --> 00:24:12,694 All right, you know what? Okay, okay, what is better? 469 00:24:12,765 --> 00:24:17,828 A medium amount of good pizza or all you can eat of pretty good pizza? 470 00:24:17,904 --> 00:24:20,338 Medium amount of good pizza. Medium amount of good pizza. 471 00:24:21,807 --> 00:24:26,369 Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad. 472 00:24:27,246 --> 00:24:30,113 It's like eating a hot circle of garbage. 473 00:24:33,252 --> 00:24:35,812 You can pick one of these things. 474 00:24:35,888 --> 00:24:38,914 It's unreasonable for you to ask me to do all of this. 475 00:24:39,592 --> 00:24:43,358 It should take you no time at all if you put the care into it that you normally do. 476 00:24:46,966 --> 00:24:48,160 Ow! 477 00:24:48,234 --> 00:24:49,963 That seemed to shut her up. 478 00:24:53,472 --> 00:24:54,461 You looking for dinner and a movie? 479 00:24:54,540 --> 00:24:57,270 'Cause you're not gonna find it in that box. 480 00:24:59,478 --> 00:25:02,845 It just so happens, I know where you can find it, but again, 481 00:25:04,517 --> 00:25:06,542 not in the box. 482 00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:12,155 Angela, are you hearing words that I'm saying? 483 00:25:12,225 --> 00:25:13,385 What? 484 00:25:13,459 --> 00:25:14,653 Hello. 485 00:25:15,494 --> 00:25:17,189 I have been working on a party for three weeks 486 00:25:17,263 --> 00:25:18,662 that just got thrown out the window, 487 00:25:18,731 --> 00:25:20,926 so now I have to pull together a whole new party, 488 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,763 and my useless number two quit. 489 00:25:22,835 --> 00:25:24,462 So now there's no one in charge of orchids, 490 00:25:24,537 --> 00:25:26,528 chocolates or the thing that's made of ice. 491 00:25:26,606 --> 00:25:28,403 And my upper back itches, and it's itched all day, 492 00:25:28,474 --> 00:25:31,932 and I can't reach it. And Kevin had Greek food for lunch again! 493 00:25:35,648 --> 00:25:38,742 They say you should never mix business with pleasure. 494 00:25:38,818 --> 00:25:39,842 Really? 495 00:25:39,919 --> 00:25:43,719 Well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates. 496 00:25:48,828 --> 00:25:49,852 Yeah? 497 00:25:49,929 --> 00:25:51,590 The Pizza By Alfredo guy is here. 498 00:25:51,664 --> 00:25:52,892 You don't have to say it like that. 499 00:25:52,965 --> 00:25:54,193 I said it normal. 500 00:25:58,738 --> 00:26:00,137 Hey. Hey. 501 00:26:00,206 --> 00:26:02,640 $63.50, and that's not including tip. 502 00:26:02,708 --> 00:26:04,198 Right. I have a coupon, 503 00:26:04,277 --> 00:26:07,974 so half of $63.50 and half the tip on $63.50... 504 00:26:08,047 --> 00:26:10,982 Half-off coupons only apply to orders of two pizzas. 505 00:26:11,050 --> 00:26:13,780 Yeah, no, I told them on the phone I was ordering eight pizzas. 506 00:26:13,853 --> 00:26:15,286 I don't care what you told them on the phone. 507 00:26:15,354 --> 00:26:17,083 That's our policy. 508 00:26:17,156 --> 00:26:19,989 You didn't actually think that I was going to spend 60 bucks on pizza? 509 00:26:20,059 --> 00:26:21,321 It's not pizza. Okay. 510 00:26:21,394 --> 00:26:25,797 It doesn't say it anywhere on the coupon, and if it's your policy, 511 00:26:25,865 --> 00:26:27,856 it should say it on the coupon. 512 00:26:28,401 --> 00:26:29,959 What do you mean? 513 00:26:30,036 --> 00:26:31,060 Not my problem. 514 00:26:31,137 --> 00:26:32,604 It is your problem. 515 00:26:33,439 --> 00:26:38,172 That's no way to do business, okay? I ordered 516 00:26:38,244 --> 00:26:39,677 eight pizzas with a half-off coupon, 517 00:26:39,745 --> 00:26:43,112 so I would like eight pizzas for half-off. End of story. 518 00:26:43,182 --> 00:26:46,913 It's a great story. It's $63.50, and that's not including tip. 519 00:26:46,986 --> 00:26:48,476 I'm not giving that to you. 520 00:26:48,554 --> 00:26:50,579 Well, then you're not getting your pizzas. 521 00:26:50,656 --> 00:26:52,624 No. No! You're not... No! 522 00:26:52,692 --> 00:26:56,253 You are not going anywhere! You're going to stay here 523 00:26:56,329 --> 00:26:58,593 until we figure this out! What? 524 00:26:58,664 --> 00:27:03,727 You know what? This young man needs to learn that that's not how you treat people! 525 00:27:04,804 --> 00:27:06,169 I don't care if it's pizza! 526 00:27:06,238 --> 00:27:10,641 Good business is about respect and accountability and follow-through. 527 00:27:10,710 --> 00:27:12,473 You don't just make promises 528 00:27:12,545 --> 00:27:15,514 and pull the rug out from under somebody, do you? 529 00:27:15,581 --> 00:27:18,414 Dwight, please escort this young man into the conference room. 530 00:27:18,484 --> 00:27:19,678 Right now. Get into the conference room. 531 00:27:19,752 --> 00:27:21,310 I'm not going in there. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. 532 00:27:21,387 --> 00:27:24,185 And you will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. 533 00:27:24,256 --> 00:27:25,655 Please. Thank you. 534 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:27,383 This is stupid. 535 00:27:27,460 --> 00:27:30,190 No, you don't even know what stupid is. 536 00:27:31,197 --> 00:27:34,132 It's about to get all stupid up in here! 537 00:27:47,546 --> 00:27:49,411 You find anything? 538 00:27:49,482 --> 00:27:51,973 We think it's a straightforward kidnapping. 539 00:27:52,585 --> 00:27:54,382 Stanley, could you look up accomplices? 540 00:27:54,453 --> 00:27:55,818 Why can't you guys do it? 541 00:27:55,888 --> 00:27:58,049 Because we're looking up jail time. 542 00:27:58,391 --> 00:27:59,949 Fine. 543 00:28:00,025 --> 00:28:01,083 I've seen this kid before. 544 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,560 He's one of the kids that sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp. 545 00:28:03,896 --> 00:28:07,423 Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed. 546 00:28:15,341 --> 00:28:17,332 You ready to give me my discount now? 547 00:28:17,410 --> 00:28:18,502 No. 548 00:28:19,044 --> 00:28:20,944 Okay, what have you been doing in here this whole time? 549 00:28:21,013 --> 00:28:22,275 What kind of business is this? 550 00:28:22,348 --> 00:28:23,474 We're a paper company. 551 00:28:23,549 --> 00:28:25,244 The best paper company in the whole wide world, okay? 552 00:28:25,317 --> 00:28:27,342 All right, Dwight, knock it off. 553 00:28:28,554 --> 00:28:30,579 You'd better think about what you are doing, young man. 554 00:28:30,656 --> 00:28:32,180 You better think about what you're doing. 555 00:28:32,258 --> 00:28:36,786 No! I'm an adult. I don't have to think or do anything. 556 00:28:36,862 --> 00:28:40,229 You're a kid. You're a little, snot-nosed punk kid 557 00:28:40,299 --> 00:28:42,460 who thinks he's better than everybody else, 558 00:28:42,535 --> 00:28:43,968 because he's some hotshot. 559 00:28:44,036 --> 00:28:46,436 And you don't know anything about sales! 560 00:28:46,505 --> 00:28:48,530 So stop being a disrespectful little jerk, okay? 561 00:28:48,607 --> 00:28:49,665 Sales? 562 00:28:49,742 --> 00:28:52,302 Yes, sales. You sell pizza. Last time I checked, that's called sales. 563 00:28:52,378 --> 00:28:53,367 You're such a loser. 564 00:28:53,446 --> 00:28:54,435 What did you just call him? 565 00:28:54,513 --> 00:28:56,208 A loser. What did you say? 566 00:28:56,282 --> 00:28:57,442 A loser. What? 567 00:28:57,516 --> 00:28:58,813 A loser. What was that word? 568 00:28:58,884 --> 00:29:00,681 Stop getting him to say it! 569 00:29:01,153 --> 00:29:03,053 You just made this worse, a whole lot worse. 570 00:29:03,122 --> 00:29:04,419 I can make him talk, Michael. 571 00:29:04,490 --> 00:29:05,479 - Michael! - Michael! 572 00:29:05,558 --> 00:29:07,025 We are accomplices. I'm not going to jail for this. 573 00:29:07,092 --> 00:29:08,684 Stop talking all at once! 574 00:29:08,761 --> 00:29:09,887 You need to let him go. 575 00:29:09,962 --> 00:29:13,329 Let go of little jerk-boy before he has learned his lesson? 576 00:29:13,399 --> 00:29:14,991 Yes. You know what, Jim? 577 00:29:15,067 --> 00:29:18,969 The world would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions. 578 00:29:19,038 --> 00:29:20,835 Yes, but not by kidnapping them. 579 00:29:20,906 --> 00:29:22,271 I'm not kidnapping him. 580 00:29:22,341 --> 00:29:24,639 I'm keeping him until I get what I want. 581 00:29:24,710 --> 00:29:25,802 As a hostage. 582 00:29:25,878 --> 00:29:26,902 I think you're over-thinking it. 583 00:29:26,979 --> 00:29:28,003 I think you're under-thinking it. 584 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,707 Yes. Is Alfredo there? 585 00:29:31,183 --> 00:29:33,117 May I speak to a manager, then? 586 00:29:33,819 --> 00:29:37,915 Okay, could you tell the manager that I am keeping his delivery kid 587 00:29:37,990 --> 00:29:40,720 until I get my discount on the eight pizzas I ordered? 588 00:29:41,427 --> 00:29:43,622 Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. 589 00:29:44,563 --> 00:29:50,524 Also, I would like him to throw in two, three pizzas, 590 00:29:51,537 --> 00:29:53,004 just for our... Ransom. 591 00:29:53,072 --> 00:29:54,164 ...trouble. 592 00:29:55,908 --> 00:29:57,876 Okay. All right. 593 00:29:59,378 --> 00:30:00,709 What did he say? 594 00:30:00,779 --> 00:30:01,803 He said no. 595 00:30:01,881 --> 00:30:03,075 So we should let him go. 596 00:30:03,148 --> 00:30:04,479 No. No. 597 00:30:04,550 --> 00:30:05,676 Okay. 598 00:30:05,751 --> 00:30:08,117 Listen up, kid, 599 00:30:08,821 --> 00:30:10,152 I don't like you, 600 00:30:10,222 --> 00:30:14,352 but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights. 601 00:30:19,465 --> 00:30:20,989 I have to hang these. 602 00:30:28,941 --> 00:30:30,636 Why are you looking at her like that? 603 00:30:30,709 --> 00:30:31,903 Hey! 604 00:30:42,888 --> 00:30:44,150 What's going on? 605 00:30:44,223 --> 00:30:46,282 Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands. 606 00:30:46,358 --> 00:30:47,985 Mr. Overdramatic. What's up, Kevin? 607 00:30:48,060 --> 00:30:50,051 We're getting hungry out there. 608 00:30:51,163 --> 00:30:55,998 We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. 609 00:30:56,068 --> 00:31:00,971 We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe 610 00:31:01,473 --> 00:31:05,603 while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end. 611 00:31:08,747 --> 00:31:12,183 I needed another hour. It could have been done in another hour. 612 00:31:12,251 --> 00:31:13,980 I think it looks good. 613 00:31:14,053 --> 00:31:16,021 That's why you're not in charge, Meredith. 614 00:31:21,193 --> 00:31:24,253 Here you are, my dear. One thing made of ice. 615 00:31:27,132 --> 00:31:28,531 How did you... 616 00:31:29,835 --> 00:31:31,268 Where'd you... 617 00:31:31,337 --> 00:31:34,101 It's just ice. It'll melt all over the floor. 618 00:31:34,173 --> 00:31:35,435 Will you help me put it over there? 619 00:31:35,507 --> 00:31:37,031 Yes, I will. Okay. 620 00:31:37,109 --> 00:31:38,269 Excuse me. 621 00:31:39,445 --> 00:31:40,537 I stole it. 622 00:31:44,850 --> 00:31:46,249 Thank God. 623 00:31:46,318 --> 00:31:50,220 Michael? Ryan wants to introduce the branch managers in a few minutes. 624 00:31:50,289 --> 00:31:52,348 You just have to wave and introduce yourself. 625 00:31:52,424 --> 00:31:54,722 I'll just wave and introduce myself. 626 00:31:54,793 --> 00:31:56,158 Hey, quick question. 627 00:31:56,228 --> 00:31:57,252 Yeah? 628 00:31:57,329 --> 00:31:59,229 If I take a pizza, 629 00:31:59,298 --> 00:32:03,064 do you think you could take some sodas and some napkins up to the roof? 630 00:32:03,135 --> 00:32:05,035 I'm all over it. Good. 631 00:32:05,938 --> 00:32:07,701 What do we got here? 632 00:32:07,773 --> 00:32:09,365 Good pizza. Yeah? 633 00:32:09,441 --> 00:32:11,432 Cheese? Or do we have other flavors? 634 00:32:11,510 --> 00:32:12,602 Different stuff. 635 00:32:12,678 --> 00:32:14,475 Which one is this? Perfect. 636 00:32:17,216 --> 00:32:19,980 Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, 637 00:32:20,052 --> 00:32:21,576 just before you walked me over to my desk? 638 00:32:21,654 --> 00:32:22,848 Yeah. 639 00:32:23,889 --> 00:32:27,086 "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time 640 00:32:27,159 --> 00:32:29,559 "before you met your desk-mate, Dwight." 641 00:32:29,962 --> 00:32:33,261 And that's why I knew. You? 642 00:32:33,332 --> 00:32:35,800 You came up to my desk and you said, 643 00:32:35,868 --> 00:32:40,771 "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, 644 00:32:40,839 --> 00:32:43,933 "but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired." 645 00:32:44,009 --> 00:32:46,170 That was the moment that you knew you liked me? 646 00:32:46,245 --> 00:32:47,337 Yup. 647 00:32:47,413 --> 00:32:48,675 Wow. 648 00:32:50,716 --> 00:32:51,978 Can we make it a different moment? 649 00:32:52,051 --> 00:32:53,177 Nope. 650 00:32:55,087 --> 00:32:56,577 Can I start talking? 651 00:32:57,756 --> 00:33:01,556 Is this thing on? Give me a signal when you want me to start. 652 00:33:03,796 --> 00:33:08,460 And now from my old hometown, Scranton, Pennsylvania, my former boss, 653 00:33:08,534 --> 00:33:10,161 Michael Scott. 654 00:33:10,769 --> 00:33:12,168 Hey, I just think you should know 655 00:33:12,237 --> 00:33:15,229 that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer. 656 00:33:15,307 --> 00:33:16,934 So take that,. 657 00:33:19,445 --> 00:33:21,003 Always a jokester. 658 00:33:23,615 --> 00:33:25,810 How about that image? Crystal clear. 659 00:33:27,286 --> 00:33:31,154 If anyone out there is listening, I am being held here against my will. 660 00:33:31,223 --> 00:33:32,417 I'm a minor. 661 00:33:36,428 --> 00:33:37,452 Ow! 662 00:33:37,529 --> 00:33:38,723 What are you doing? 663 00:33:38,797 --> 00:33:40,697 You said your upper back itched. 664 00:33:40,766 --> 00:33:42,324 I didn't ask you to scratch it. 665 00:33:42,401 --> 00:33:44,733 Look, Angela, I know this is weird because we work together, 666 00:33:44,803 --> 00:33:49,433 and because up until and possibly including now I've repulsed you, 667 00:33:49,508 --> 00:33:50,839 but I like you. 668 00:33:50,909 --> 00:33:52,604 I'm not dating you. 669 00:33:54,947 --> 00:33:57,848 So Angela is stubborn as a mule. 670 00:33:59,351 --> 00:34:03,412 She's giving off fairly strong vibes that she's not interested. 671 00:34:07,559 --> 00:34:09,288 But do I like her or not? 672 00:34:10,496 --> 00:34:14,762 Because if I like her, then I can't back down. 673 00:34:16,735 --> 00:34:19,966 If you're going number one, you've got 10 more seconds. 674 00:34:22,741 --> 00:34:24,072 Hey, have you seen Jim? 675 00:34:24,143 --> 00:34:27,544 I guess he wanted to get out of here before the cops find out. 676 00:34:30,783 --> 00:34:33,877 Hey, what are you doing? I'm just scaring him. 677 00:34:33,952 --> 00:34:36,512 Now the trick is to make him think you're going to do something to him. 678 00:34:36,588 --> 00:34:37,782 I can hear you, man. Shut up, 679 00:34:37,856 --> 00:34:39,153 or I'm going to punch you in the throat! 680 00:34:39,224 --> 00:34:40,782 Hey, hey, hey, stop it. Stop it. 681 00:34:40,859 --> 00:34:43,157 No. God. Oh, my God. 682 00:34:44,463 --> 00:34:48,058 Oh, my God. Oh, no. No. 683 00:34:49,601 --> 00:34:51,728 I kidnapped a kid. You had to. 684 00:34:51,804 --> 00:34:53,567 What other choice did you have? 685 00:34:53,639 --> 00:34:55,766 I could have paid for the pizza. 686 00:34:55,841 --> 00:34:58,309 Well, yeah. 687 00:35:00,546 --> 00:35:04,004 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 688 00:35:06,785 --> 00:35:07,774 This is Michael. 689 00:35:07,853 --> 00:35:08,945 Hello, Michael. This is Ryan. 690 00:35:09,021 --> 00:35:10,579 First off, thanks for the shout out. 691 00:35:10,656 --> 00:35:12,283 You're breaking up. I can't hear you. 692 00:35:12,357 --> 00:35:14,450 And why is there a kid on your webcam 693 00:35:14,526 --> 00:35:16,790 saying that he's being held against his... 694 00:35:17,629 --> 00:35:18,994 Okay. 695 00:35:19,064 --> 00:35:22,363 I want you to go in there 696 00:35:22,434 --> 00:35:26,427 and pay him for the pizzas and give him a generous tip, 697 00:35:27,573 --> 00:35:28,767 no more than 10%% . 698 00:35:28,841 --> 00:35:30,001 What will you do? 699 00:35:30,075 --> 00:35:32,805 I will open the door. 700 00:35:33,612 --> 00:35:34,772 Yeah. 701 00:35:34,847 --> 00:35:36,940 And hopefully he will walk out. 702 00:35:39,451 --> 00:35:41,544 And the rest is out of our hands. 703 00:35:42,955 --> 00:35:45,617 So I'm paying full price? 704 00:35:45,691 --> 00:35:46,783 Yes. 705 00:35:47,826 --> 00:35:51,193 Here we go, 65. You know what? 706 00:35:52,331 --> 00:35:53,696 Here's two more. 707 00:35:58,704 --> 00:36:00,638 See you. Drive safely. 708 00:36:03,108 --> 00:36:04,598 Okay. 709 00:36:05,344 --> 00:36:06,743 Now what? 710 00:36:06,812 --> 00:36:09,542 Now we wait and hope that nothing happens. 711 00:36:10,782 --> 00:36:13,478 All right. I assume I'm going to be reimbursed for the pizzas? 712 00:36:13,552 --> 00:36:15,782 Not now, Dwight. Please, not the time. 713 00:36:18,357 --> 00:36:20,348 A toast. 714 00:36:20,425 --> 00:36:22,154 I'm gonna make it good. 715 00:36:23,395 --> 00:36:25,488 To avoiding a class-two felony charge. 716 00:36:32,838 --> 00:36:35,432 Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. 717 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,571 Hello. Hang on. 718 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,329 If you change your mind 719 00:36:59,932 --> 00:37:01,661 I'll be first in line 720 00:37:01,733 --> 00:37:06,295 Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me 721 00:37:06,371 --> 00:37:08,669 If you need me, let me know 722 00:37:08,740 --> 00:37:10,367 Going to be around 723 00:37:10,676 --> 00:37:13,201 If you got no place to go 724 00:37:13,278 --> 00:37:17,738 If you're feeling down, if you're all alone 725 00:37:17,816 --> 00:37:20,182 When the pretty birds have flown 726 00:37:20,252 --> 00:37:24,916 Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me 727 00:37:24,990 --> 00:37:29,427 Going to do my very best And that ain't no lie 728 00:37:29,494 --> 00:37:33,954 If you put me to the test, if you let me try 729 00:37:34,032 --> 00:37:38,264 Take a chance on me 730 00:37:38,337 --> 00:37:40,328 That's all I ask of you, Angela. 731 00:37:41,006 --> 00:37:46,603 Take a chance, take a chance 732 00:37:48,013 --> 00:37:50,538 On 733 00:37:50,615 --> 00:37:55,245 Me 734 00:38:07,632 --> 00:38:09,566 - Hey, how'd it go? - Yeah. What did she say? 735 00:38:09,634 --> 00:38:11,261 I don't know yet. 736 00:38:11,336 --> 00:38:12,360 I have to call you back. 737 00:38:12,437 --> 00:38:13,426 Come on, you gotta give us something. 738 00:38:13,505 --> 00:38:14,938 I'll call you back. 739 00:38:17,209 --> 00:38:19,143 I have to go clean up after the party. 740 00:38:37,195 --> 00:38:39,186 What a horrible day. 741 00:38:43,835 --> 00:38:47,794 Well, I need to get the horrible taste of this pizza out of my mouth. 742 00:38:49,207 --> 00:38:51,004 I'd really like some sushi. 743 00:38:51,410 --> 00:38:54,641 I was hoping that I would have New York-style sushi today, 744 00:38:54,713 --> 00:38:56,806 and you know what? 745 00:38:56,882 --> 00:38:58,679 What? I'm gonna get it. 746 00:38:59,251 --> 00:39:01,242 Coopers has calamari. 747 00:39:01,319 --> 00:39:04,686 No. There's only one place to get authentic New York-style sushi. 748 00:39:04,756 --> 00:39:06,223 Tokyo? New York. 749 00:39:06,925 --> 00:39:08,825 Wanna go? Yes. 750 00:39:08,894 --> 00:39:09,883 All right. You drive. 751 00:39:09,961 --> 00:39:11,189 Okay. 752 00:39:11,263 --> 00:39:12,321 Nice. 753 00:39:12,397 --> 00:39:13,762 Here we go. 754 00:39:13,832 --> 00:39:15,322 Mmm. 755 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,334 Perfect. I'm sorry. 756 00:39:17,402 --> 00:39:19,302 You guys are going to have to leave. 757 00:39:19,371 --> 00:39:21,430 Hey. You know what? 758 00:39:25,277 --> 00:39:26,574 Come on, come on, let's go. 759 00:39:35,020 --> 00:39:37,887 Hey, you're the Scranton guy? 760 00:39:37,956 --> 00:39:38,945 Guilty. 761 00:39:39,024 --> 00:39:41,322 I liked your statement tonight. 762 00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:43,059 Thanks. 763 00:39:43,795 --> 00:39:46,389 This is the guy that beat the computer. 764 00:39:46,465 --> 00:39:49,730 Very cool. Yeah, it was funny to see Ryan all embarrassed by that. 765 00:39:49,801 --> 00:39:51,735 Yeah. Yeah. 766 00:39:51,803 --> 00:39:53,065 See you later. 767 00:39:54,072 --> 00:39:55,164 Later on. 768 00:39:56,875 --> 00:40:02,142 I'm Ryan and tonight didn't go the way that I thought it would, 769 00:40:02,214 --> 00:40:06,844 because it didn't work out for me, and I'm very embarrassed. 770 00:40:06,918 --> 00:40:08,749 I have egg all over my face. 771 00:40:09,054 --> 00:40:10,316 I'm 12 years old. 772 00:40:10,388 --> 00:40:13,084 I spent so much time in Scranton, but I never sold any paper. 773 00:40:13,158 --> 00:40:16,127 I never sold any paper because I'm an idiot. 774 00:40:16,194 --> 00:40:18,856 I started a fire with my cheese pita. 775 00:40:18,930 --> 00:40:20,989 I dated an Indian girl. 776 00:40:21,066 --> 00:40:22,863 I started a fire. 777 00:40:22,934 --> 00:40:23,923 I started a fire. 778 00:40:24,002 --> 00:40:25,094 Now I've got a beard. 779 00:40:25,170 --> 00:40:26,637 And I got a new suit, and I'm your boss. 780 00:40:26,705 --> 00:40:28,297 I get everything I want 'cause I'm very... 781 00:40:28,373 --> 00:40:30,068 I'm hot. I'm so hot. 782 00:40:30,142 --> 00:40:31,336 That's why everybody... 783 00:40:31,409 --> 00:40:32,671 I didn't get... 784 00:40:32,744 --> 00:40:34,234 I don't understand that. 785 00:40:34,312 --> 00:40:36,439 That's part of it, just a... 786 00:40:53,131 --> 00:40:54,393 Wanna head back? 787 00:40:55,767 --> 00:40:57,564 Yeah, let's go.