1 00:00:21,013 --> 00:00:22,121 When I retire, 2 00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:26,407 I will reply to every email I've ever flagged. 3 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,648 I will clean up my desktop. 4 00:00:36,158 --> 00:00:40,677 I'll read the 35 years of saved articles on my reading list. 5 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,087 I will finish all those books I started. 6 00:00:49,662 --> 00:00:53,434 I will play the lifetime of computer games I missed out on. 7 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,614 I'll birdwatch. 8 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:01,259 I'll learn magpies are beautiful, 9 00:01:01,633 --> 00:01:02,780 but terrifying. 10 00:01:03,586 --> 00:01:05,774 I'll learn the names of trees, 11 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:09,589 and know which spring flowers bloom first. 12 00:01:11,421 --> 00:01:14,187 I will swim every morning. 13 00:01:15,103 --> 00:01:20,779 I will learn to play a single piano piece exceptionally well. 14 00:01:23,697 --> 00:01:28,405 Write a devastating, yet optimistic, piece of poetry. 15 00:01:30,968 --> 00:01:32,087 When I retire, 16 00:01:33,222 --> 00:01:34,602 I will get a dog. 17 00:01:35,523 --> 00:01:36,930 I will get a cat. 18 00:01:36,968 --> 00:01:37,489 Jesus! 19 00:01:39,364 --> 00:01:41,717 I will start with a fish. 20 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:43,925 Or maybe... 21 00:01:44,474 --> 00:01:45,768 maybe a terrapin. 22 00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:49,747 I will learn how a terrapin is different from a turtle. 23 00:01:50,145 --> 00:01:51,632 And how that affects my choice. 24 00:01:53,265 --> 00:01:55,687 I will hike. 25 00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:58,810 I will see a point in hiking. 26 00:01:59,337 --> 00:02:02,398 I will know when a walk becomes a hike. 27 00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:07,489 I will get so good at meditation. 28 00:02:10,036 --> 00:02:11,966 I will be so present. 29 00:02:12,894 --> 00:02:15,636 So aggressively present. 30 00:02:16,982 --> 00:02:17,972 Then, 31 00:02:18,084 --> 00:02:19,777 I will patch that hole. 32 00:02:19,944 --> 00:02:21,277 Replace that button. 33 00:02:21,478 --> 00:02:22,957 I will learn how to juggle. 34 00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:27,571 Not just a 3-ball Cascade, Rubinstein's Revenge. 35 00:02:28,011 --> 00:02:28,464 Argh! 36 00:02:28,499 --> 00:02:30,242 I'll organise my digital photos. 37 00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:32,315 Then my wardrobe. Then my drawers. 38 00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:36,915 Then my pantry. Inspired by that book about organising that I finally read. 39 00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:41,108 I will have to buy so many plastic boxes. 40 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:45,896 Retired me will have so much money, 41 00:02:45,953 --> 00:02:49,337 as a result of the pension I haven't yet started. 42 00:02:49,944 --> 00:02:52,354 I will find out what a pension is. 43 00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:57,329 I will order wine by year and specific area of Italy. 44 00:02:57,519 --> 00:02:58,237 'Grazie.' 45 00:02:58,519 --> 00:03:00,467 But not in an annoying way. 46 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:05,409 I will learn to like whiskey. 47 00:03:05,849 --> 00:03:08,600 I will get good at saying yes. 48 00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:12,206 I will get better at saying no. 49 00:03:12,953 --> 00:03:14,809 I will cry more. 50 00:03:18,357 --> 00:03:19,759 And less. 51 00:03:21,781 --> 00:03:23,390 When I retire, 52 00:03:23,424 --> 00:03:26,568 I will make the perfect meatball. 53 00:03:26,593 --> 00:03:30,115 And pair it with a 2019 red from Tuscany. 54 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:32,095 The rain that year! 55 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,363 My God, you can taste it. 56 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:40,391 I'll smoke weed all day long. 57 00:03:40,491 --> 00:03:42,541 Or try some other drugs. 58 00:03:42,566 --> 00:03:44,138 Argh! 59 00:03:44,247 --> 00:03:48,010 I'll google 'microdosing' and start there. 60 00:03:50,936 --> 00:03:53,014 I will stretch. 61 00:03:53,971 --> 00:03:55,527 I will yoga. 62 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:02,335 I'll drink eight glasses of water every day. 63 00:04:02,957 --> 00:04:05,644 I'll sleep for 8 hours every night. 64 00:04:06,802 --> 00:04:08,355 I will see a play. 65 00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:12,132 I will see if I like plays. 66 00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:14,569 I'll give back. 67 00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,040 I'll know who to give back to 68 00:04:17,065 --> 00:04:20,321 And why I want to give back to them more than the others. 69 00:04:21,137 --> 00:04:23,463 I will eat more vegetables. 70 00:04:24,168 --> 00:04:26,690 I will grow a vegetable. 71 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,237 I will find out what to do with a leek. 72 00:04:29,262 --> 00:04:31,731 I will find out what a leek looks like. 73 00:04:31,945 --> 00:04:33,464 I'll fight a man. 74 00:04:33,511 --> 00:04:35,361 I'll kill a fish. I'll drive a bus. 75 00:04:35,386 --> 00:04:37,286 I'll drive one of those airport cars. 76 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:39,295 Nobody's going to stop me. 77 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,725 I'll travel more, I'll travel more... 78 00:04:41,750 --> 00:04:43,828 I'll travel more. 79 00:04:44,465 --> 00:04:46,905 I'll get a telescope, get into camping. 80 00:04:46,969 --> 00:04:49,609 NO! CAMPING IS HORRIBLE! 81 00:04:49,679 --> 00:04:53,085 I will finally find my sport. 82 00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,435 I will paraglide. 83 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,394 I will not paraglide! 84 00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:03,929 I'll move to a town by the sea. 85 00:05:06,744 --> 00:05:09,871 I've always loved towns by the sea. 86 00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,578 I'll remember to breathe. 87 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,513 I will learn to speak another language. 88 00:05:19,892 --> 00:05:23,760 I will learn to tell people how I feel. 89 00:05:24,714 --> 00:05:27,066 I will take better care of myself. 90 00:05:32,246 --> 00:05:34,506 I will take better care of my body. 91 00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:36,794 I will take better care of my teeth. 92 00:05:36,932 --> 00:05:39,531 I will take better care of my mind. 93 00:05:39,998 --> 00:05:42,182 Meet up with that person. 94 00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:46,127 Have that conversation. 95 00:05:48,738 --> 00:05:50,625 I'll go to an art gallery. 96 00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:54,683 I'll want to be there, once I get there. 97 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,564 I will completely nail my final words. 98 00:06:14,693 --> 00:06:18,772 I will haunt the absolute shit out of my sixth class enemy... 99 00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:19,942 - 'Deirdre!' - Argh! 100 00:06:19,967 --> 00:06:21,286 .. Deirdre Hogan. 101 00:06:25,607 --> 00:06:29,512 I'll finally know if you have the time you have, and then it ends? 102 00:06:31,668 --> 00:06:33,686 Or if there is more time. 103 00:06:52,235 --> 00:06:55,743 Subtitle and Transcribe by Sir Allix