1 00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,568 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,838 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:11,778 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,175 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,718 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:21,224 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,921 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,190 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:30,158 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,907 "Hey, guys, home with groceries. 11 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,683 Could use a hand unloading." 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,109 And send. 13 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,351 Now I wait for them to come out to help their dear old mom. 14 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,754 - Do it yourself! 15 00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,256 Hi, sad lady. 16 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,958 Junior, our dinner talk stays inside. 17 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,974 Hi, normal lady. 18 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,543 What are you guys doing? It's Sunday. 19 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,102 I thought husbands had to watch football all day 20 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,541 or they get cancer. 21 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,139 Today's our family fun day. 22 00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:18,008 That's right, a whole day dedicated to family and fun, 23 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,308 ending in the bedroom with what I hope will be 24 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,020 some back-end participation. 25 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,022 - Hmm? - Mm-mm. 26 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,523 I am so tired of this family 27 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,761 just sitting around and doing nothing. 28 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,386 The Browns are outside having fun 29 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:35,901 while we're in here loafing around 30 00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,603 like a bunch of stupid potatoes. 31 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:41,171 Mom, I've been anonymously cyberbullied for a decade. 32 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,301 "Stupid potato" doesn't even leave a mark. 33 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,943 We need to spend some quality time together like the Browns. 34 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,277 So we're doing a family fun day. 35 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,553 Oh, family-free fun day sounds great. 36 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,552 No, family fun day. 37 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,817 Yeah, family-free fun day. 38 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,448 No, Peter. Family. Fun. Day. 39 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:00,790 Yeah, I'm already at The Clam. 40 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,358 Have fun. 41 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,556 All right, nothing's more fun than a family card game. 42 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,300 Now, the game is euchre. 43 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:15,701 "Begin by separating the nines, tens, face cards and aces 44 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:16,999 "from the rest of the deck. 45 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,940 "The goal is to win at least three 'tricks.' 46 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,280 "Now, if the side that fixed the trump fails 47 00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,182 "to get three tricks, it is said to be 'euchred.' 48 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,549 "The highest trump is the jack of the trump suit, 49 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,482 "called the 'right bower.' 50 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,691 "Partnership-making trump wins three or four tricks 51 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,057 "and earns one point. 52 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,692 "Lone hand wins three or four tricks, 53 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,931 "also earns one point. 54 00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,057 "However, a lone hand wins five tricks, 55 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,727 "that's worth four points. 56 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:49,201 Many euchre games are scored by rubber points, as in whist." 57 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,209 Ooh, ooh. "The first side to win two games 58 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,936 - wins the rubber." 59 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,638 "The dealer has the right to exchange 60 00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,084 any turned-up card..." 61 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,046 Oh, my God, it's the same. 62 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,084 "If the face-up card is a jack, 63 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,623 - it's considered bad luck for..." 64 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,258 "After two rounds, if no trump suit has been declared 65 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,562 "and the 'stick-the-dealer' rule is not in effect, 66 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,264 then the cards are collected and reshuffled." 67 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,830 Family Guy is brought to you by contract bridge. 68 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,426 Way simpler than euchre. 69 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,227 You see, in contract bridge, each player is dealt 13 cards 70 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,174 from a standard 52-card deck. 71 00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,796 A trick starts when a player leads, 72 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,444 i.e. plays the first card. 73 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:29,106 The leader to the first trick is determined by the auction. 74 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,275 So, what do you think, gang? 75 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,777 I thought it could be a fun family activity 76 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,716 if we had a make-your-own-pizza night. 77 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,294 Or we could order Domino's. 78 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,593 No, come on, this'll be fun. 79 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,255 Everyone gets their own crust, 80 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,133 and you can choose from any of the items I put out, huh? 81 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,064 It could be olives, it could be peppers. 82 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,601 And for the risk takers, I even put out some pineapple. 83 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,668 You can put anything you want on your pizza. 84 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,438 Yeah, I'm putting a Domino's pizza on my pizza. 85 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,578 Domino's-- we're both terrible 86 00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,607 and better than your pizza. 87 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,316 Ah, this is nice, huh? 88 00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:14,452 Oh, it's so good to get the whole family 89 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,961 out of the house and see Quahog from a different perspective. 90 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,758 It's a little tight. 91 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,100 - So, how'd you get into hot-air ballooning? 92 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,100 They don't do background checks. 93 00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,939 Oh. What are we flying over now? 94 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,372 My ex-wife's house. 95 00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:34,070 If you have any garbage or little bags of cat poo, 96 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,284 you can drop them now. 97 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,207 Did you know restraining orders only go side to side? 98 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,684 They don't go up and down. 99 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,992 Well, there's got to be one thing we can all 100 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,458 enjoy together as a family. 101 00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,333 You know, I think we're trying too hard. 102 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,228 When I was a kid we did movie nights, 103 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,503 and it was the Holy Grail of family fun. 104 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,126 - I'd watch a movie - I'd watch a porn movie. 105 00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,528 No, a family movie. 106 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,443 I'd watch a MILF porn movie. 107 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,802 Okay, technically that's accurate, but no porn. 108 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,774 All right, let's fire up Amazon or Netflix. 109 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,080 No streaming services. 110 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,575 They've ruined how we watch movies. 111 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,813 I'm talking about an old-school movie night 112 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,912 where we rent one from Blockbuster. 113 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,284 Some of my best childhood memories were when 114 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,150 I went to rent a video with my dad. 115 00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,592 Him and I never really got along, 116 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,363 but the one place where we did was Blockbuster. 117 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,492 He'd let me pick out any snack I wanted 118 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,485 while he grabbed our fifth-choice movie 119 00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,633 because we got there too late to get the good ones. 120 00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,925 But that was part of it, 121 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,270 because it wasn't about the movie, 122 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,331 it was about the night you spent together. 123 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,540 I think renting a movie's a great idea. 124 00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,536 Let's do it. 125 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,767 So it's settled. 126 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:38,941 The Griffins are making it 127 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,236 a Blockbuster night. 128 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,037 When we get there, I'll give you 20 bucks to say, 129 00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,746 "I've heard Magic Mike is good." 130 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,753 Huh. This used to be the Blockbuster. 131 00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,919 Oh, man, it's gone. 132 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,018 Were you also looking for... 133 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,029 Very tall prostitute, yes. 134 00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,361 Is that what you were going to say? 135 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,099 She used to hang out here-- hands like a palm leaf. 136 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:05,199 She would do sex but also help with light bulbs and stuff. 137 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,035 I think her name was Phillip. 138 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,541 I see some of my students in your car. 139 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,544 That's good for me. 140 00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,037 I'm sure there's one still open. 141 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,108 I'll just google it. 142 00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,506 Eh, I got to type in my code 'cause I got too fat 143 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,753 - for the facial recognition to work. - Brutal. 144 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,686 Oh, good. See? There is one still open. 145 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,321 Drive north for a quarter of a mile, 146 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,494 then turn left onto Highway 20. 147 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,960 Continue straight for 2,980 miles. 148 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,190 - What?! - Oh, yeah. 149 00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:35,958 The last Blockbuster in existence 150 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,533 is in Bend, Oregon. 151 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,331 Did I not say that? Strap in, everybody, 152 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,770 the Griffins are going on a road trip. 153 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,640 Well, it looks like the family Griffin 154 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:49,576 is headed off down Holiday Road. 155 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:58,121 And Lindsey Buckingham has said no. 156 00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,815 Well, that's all right. 157 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,857 I reckon, if you're a man named Lindsey, 158 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,215 you don't get to call the shots very often. 159 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,503 Peter, this is crazy. 160 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,895 We can't drive 3,000 miles just to rent a movie. 161 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,268 Would you please turn around? 162 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,566 Lois, the whole family fun thing was your idea. 163 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,465 Don't get mad at me 'cause I'm following through. 164 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:23,041 But I only have one pair of underwear. 165 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,653 Oh, that's not a problem. I got tons of 166 00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,978 women's underwear in the back. 167 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,279 : Why, why do you have that? 168 00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:29,182 Tons of it. 169 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,249 Don't we have a say in all this, Dad? 170 00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,318 Yeah, we don't want to drive all the way to Oregon. 171 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,957 Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys. 172 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,562 We're gonna see the whole country, 173 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,417 like we're in one of those 174 00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,461 Bruce Springsteen Jeep commercials. 175 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:42,633 America is made up of a lot of states. 176 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,969 Some of them really stink, but some of them don't stink. 177 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,943 - So buy a Jeep. 178 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,801 They flip easy, but you'll be okay. 179 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,741 Probably be okay. 180 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,711 One of the perks of a cross-country trip 181 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,547 is stopping for a meal and meeting the friendly folks 182 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,820 who make up the heart and soul of our country. 183 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,916 Hello, we're from the Northeast. 184 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,964 Okay, then. 185 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,625 : We'll do 55 pancakes to go. 186 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,228 : Trump! 187 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,298 - Trump! - Trump! 188 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,611 - Trump. - Trump. 189 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,636 - Trump! - Trump! - Trump! 190 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,054 - Trump! - Trump! 191 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,021 - Trump! - Trump! - Trump... 192 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,266 I'm not getting any service. 193 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,771 - Where are we? - Hey, I don't know. 194 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,543 But we can figure it out by which radio stations come in. 195 00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:00,841 You're listening to G-U-N-S AM radio. 196 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,181 All guns all the time. 197 00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,107 - Is the caller there? 198 00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,109 Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more. 199 00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:08,781 Sounds like we're somewhere between 200 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,119 Washington and Washington. 201 00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:12,554 Well, we got to almost be there, right? 202 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,753 A few more hours. 203 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,020 Trust me, it'll all be worth it 204 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,788 once we walk into that store. 205 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,233 Plus, I'll be able to finally return 206 00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,992 this copy of Ladyhawke. 207 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,530 You remembered to rewind that, right? 208 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,653 You know what I'm thinking, Peter? 209 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,975 Instead of going to Blockbuster, we drive right into 210 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,781 the first pond we see. 211 00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,790 It'll be a quicker death than this trip. 212 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,452 Guys, look. 213 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,257 Ah! Oh, my God, it's real. 214 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,200 We made it. 215 00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,795 Well, I suppose I should be the responsible one 216 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,241 and release all the car farts. 217 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,471 You're free now. Go. 218 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,475 I said go! 219 00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:28,764 Here it is, guys. 220 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,195 This is where kids would come every Friday night 221 00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:33,125 and see their teacher wearing jeans. 222 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,000 Dad, who's Christian Slater? 223 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,409 Some actors never made it out of Blockbuster, Chris. 224 00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,783 Sliver. Fun movie. 225 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,948 Yeah, it's Sharon Stone, so it's nudity 226 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,520 moms will put up with. 227 00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:53,317 Hmm, it looks like you have a late fee for Ladyhawke. 228 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,790 Ah, no problem. How much is it? 229 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,629 $32,419. 230 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:03,203 Look, uh, we traveled a really long way to get here, 231 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,603 and I kind of promised my family a movie night. 232 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,266 Oh. Then the plot just got interesting. 233 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,165 Where are you on your journey? 234 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,670 About the end of act two? 235 00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,538 I read a lot of screenplay books. 236 00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,707 There's got to be some way we can work this out. 237 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,446 Sorry, but we're pretty strict about our late fees. 238 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,522 We kind of blew up our whole company for 'em. 239 00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:23,652 So, no money, no rental. 240 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,654 Uh, $32,000, you say? 241 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:29,059 I don't have that on my person. 242 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:35,798 ♪ Hands ♪ 243 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:39,866 ♪ Touching hands ♪ 244 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,497 ♪ Reaching out ♪ 245 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,967 ♪ Touching me ♪ 246 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,269 ♪ Touching you. ♪ 247 00:11:47,341 --> 00:11:50,041 Ah, here it comes. All together now... 248 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,350 - Drive, Lois, drive! 249 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,050 Nothing worse than a case 250 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,651 of Neil Diamond blue balls. Am I right? 251 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,033 Peter, just pull over. 252 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,068 We can talk to them and figure this out. 253 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,273 No. A high-speed chase is preferred 254 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,035 - over small talk with an employee. Aah! 255 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,135 I hear Magic Mike is good. 256 00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,284 Way too late, dude. 257 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:25,852 I can lose these guys. 258 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,323 Chris, pour me out a handful of those Runts. 259 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,478 How's eating candy gonna help us? 260 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,994 Runts are the hardest candy in the world. 261 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,493 They're not for eating, they're for hucking. 262 00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:41,403 Meg, there's a stack of posters in the back. 263 00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,695 We can throw 'em out the car and blind 'em. 264 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,367 Just run the posters by me first. 265 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,902 - Judge Dredd? - Nah, keep that one. 266 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,067 I want to put it in the basement. 267 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,235 - Cool World? - Keep. 268 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,736 - Milk Money? - Uh, keep. 269 00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,114 These are all terrible movies. 270 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,206 Just throw one out. 271 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,946 You know, that movie still holds up. 272 00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,611 It didn't hold up then. 273 00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,353 It worked. We lost them. 274 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,155 Yes! No one ruins a Griffin family fun day. 275 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,063 Who wants a turnaround high five? 276 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,494 Dad, watch the road! 277 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,425 Is everyone okay? 278 00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,874 I swallowed my retainer, 279 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,435 but I'll do a little stool fishing later. 280 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,209 Oh, they're still after us. We got to run. 281 00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:46,064 Give up. We got you. It's over. 282 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,959 Well, actually it's not. 283 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:51,098 I think this might be the "all is lost" moment. 284 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,168 - What? - You know, it seems over 285 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,473 because there's an insurmountable obstacle 286 00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,369 in their way, but instead of giving up, 287 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,344 they double down. 288 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,665 - Lois, we got to jump. - See? 289 00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:02,041 The fall will kill us. 290 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,906 I've seen Rambo jump from higher. 291 00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,551 I think if we jump it'll cut to that scene. 292 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,783 Peter, that's crazy. 293 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:08,781 Do you trust me? 294 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:09,922 - No! 295 00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:25,604 Oh, what the hell? 296 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,550 - I told you. - I know. 297 00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,045 Peter Griffin, PhD. 298 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,823 Petty, heavy dope. 299 00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,918 Wow, she really had that locked and loaded. 300 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,657 This is crazy. Those guys are trying to kill us 301 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,085 because of a late movie. 302 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,227 We should just call the police. 303 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,085 Oh, look who's already walking back 304 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,963 their "Defund the Police" stance. 305 00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,328 Little different when it's real life 306 00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,200 and not trying to impress Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm? 307 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,039 Oh, this is not good. It's gonna get dark soon. 308 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,602 - We need a plan. - Don't worry. 309 00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:04,944 We can hike back to the car 310 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,168 and call for help from the road. 311 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,543 We're gonna get through this. 312 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:08,814 Now, before we head off, 313 00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:10,036 I'm gonna divvy out our rations. 314 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,180 I'll start with this pack of Starbursts. 315 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:15,619 There's pink for you, orange for you, red for me, 316 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,352 yellow for you, pink for you, red for me... 317 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,219 You keep giving yourself all the reds. 318 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,188 It's just completely random. I'm just going in order. 319 00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,357 I can't help where I'm standing. 320 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,434 Okay, where was I? Yellow for Chris, 321 00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,463 - red for me... - You did it again. 322 00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,302 Okay, y-you know, I tried being fair, 323 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,604 but now I'm just gonna lick all the reds. 324 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,569 Now they have to be mine. Next food-- Spree. 325 00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:39,509 Green for you, orange for you, red for me! 326 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,023 I think we're lost. 327 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,681 We're gonna die out here. 328 00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,390 Guys, we can't give up now. 329 00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:53,185 We can and I shall. 330 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,090 I'm gonna close my eyes and go to my happy place, 331 00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:59,560 being screamed at by children while playing Fortnite. 332 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,556 No, your mom's a whore. 333 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,229 Wait, guys, look. 334 00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,968 I think I see a cabin. 335 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,210 It is a cabin. We're saved. 336 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,683 You can't say that word, Brayden. 337 00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,246 None of you can say that word. 338 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,749 Look, there's a radio. We can... 339 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,491 Watch Sliver on that VCR. 340 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,990 What? No. We need to call for help. 341 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,189 We can do both. 342 00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,127 I am not gonna give up on this movie night 343 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,595 like we gave up on our marriage. 344 00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:39,470 Four therapy sessions is enough to know where it's headed. 345 00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,143 There's a map on the wall with government buildings 346 00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,742 connected by strings. 347 00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,074 Look, I know this hasn't been 348 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,442 the easiest couple of days, guys, 349 00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:49,107 but it'll all be worth it once I put this tape in. 350 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,879 I present to you Sliver. 351 00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:53,979 And it's Sliders, season two. 352 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,621 Classic Blockbuster blunder. 353 00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,662 Oh, good. You numbskulls put the wrong movie in here. 354 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:02,815 I want a refund. 355 00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:05,063 Everybody outside now. 356 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,132 I can't believe this. 357 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,303 All I was trying to do was have a nice movie night 358 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:11,032 with my family, and you guys keep ruining it. 359 00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,328 Wow, this is very similar to a screenplay I wrote. 360 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,041 This guy is too into movies. 361 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,514 Remember, the one I had you read 362 00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:21,782 that was like Love Actually meets Independence Day? 363 00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:23,912 Uh, yeah, sure, I remember. 364 00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,977 - You didn't read it? - I'm gonna. 365 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:29,219 Don't be mad at me. Be mad at, you know, these guys. 366 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,786 I'm sorry, kids, all I wanted to do 367 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,545 was something special with you guys. 368 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,890 That one thing you'd remember doing with me 369 00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:38,456 for the rest of your lives, but I failed. 370 00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,829 Another failure in a long string of failures. 371 00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,329 Are you kidding, Dad? 372 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,470 - This has been the most exciting day ever. - It has? 373 00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,943 Yeah. We left the house three days ago to rent a movie 374 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,373 and now we're in the middle of the woods in Oregon 375 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,912 and might get murdered by Blockbuster guys. 376 00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:56,575 Like, what is this? 377 00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,950 Yeah, we never know what you're gonna do. 378 00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:01,216 It's usually silly or dangerous, 379 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,181 but it's also kind of awesome. 380 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,220 Yeah. Remember when he had tiny arms 381 00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,959 - for, like, three months? - Or when he brought home that horse. 382 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,518 Or that falcon. Or that parrot. 383 00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,357 Lot of illegal animals. 384 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,999 Or when that little guy lived in his neck. 385 00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,925 What the hell was that? 386 00:18:16,997 --> 00:18:19,067 Every few years he fights a giant chicken 387 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,132 and destroys a city. 388 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,140 No one's named a good thing yet. 389 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,572 You had a blimp with your face on it. 390 00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:27,168 Your mother put me on pills after I bought that. 391 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:29,681 You see, Dad, we don't need a movie night 392 00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,113 for us to remember you. 393 00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:34,308 Every day is like a movie night with you. 394 00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:40,285 Well, I guess Mom knew what she was doing 395 00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:43,064 when she insisted on family fun day. 396 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,460 Super sweet moment, guys. 397 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,789 I'm gonna assume this was all a callback 398 00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,161 to something in act one. 399 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,529 Time to go outside now. 400 00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:58,339 Guys, please, I'm the one with the late fees. 401 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,708 Don't hurt my family. I'll do anything. 402 00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,944 Well, I have this screenplay, it-it's an epic sci-fi, 403 00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:06,511 and it's mostly stage directions where they... 404 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,677 Just kill us! 405 00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:12,120 What the hell?! 406 00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:31,542 Amazon drones? You saved us. 407 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:36,405 Once again a streaming service annihilates a Blockbuster. 408 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,243 Wa-boosh. 409 00:19:37,311 --> 00:19:39,581 How did you even know we were here? 410 00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:43,246 Based on your recent purchases, viewing habits and stored data, 411 00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:45,047 we determined that you were being chased 412 00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:46,818 through the wilderness by the last two 413 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,760 Blockbuster employees on Earth. 414 00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,162 Wow. Scary. 415 00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:52,464 I owe you an apology, Amazon. 416 00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,926 You're a pretty amazing service after all. 417 00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:59,325 DRONE 2: Yes, I agree. Amazon workers should not unionize. 418 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,369 I-I didn't-- I didn't say that. 419 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,937 Well, they sure can play dumb when they want to. 420 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,936 Please stop spying on us, Alexa. 421 00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:07,312 Okay. Playing holiday music now. 422 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:11,214 ♪ And since we've no place to go ♪ 423 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:15,081 ♪ Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. ♪ 424 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,324 Well, that Blockbuster adventure sure was fun, 425 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,060 but we should probably just watch movies 426 00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:25,988 at home from now on. 427 00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:27,833 You know, Dad, while we were flying home, 428 00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,495 I did order something special for you. 429 00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:34,027 Sliver! We can still do our old-school movie night. 430 00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,571 I'll hook up the VCR. 431 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,411 Aw, damn it, we can't watch it. 432 00:20:39,473 --> 00:20:40,913 I don't have the right adaptor cable. 433 00:20:41,008 --> 00:20:42,908 The last Circuit City in the U. S. 434 00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:45,706 is in St. Augustine, Florida. 435 00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:49,079 - Let's go. 436 00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:50,523 I'll start the car. 437 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,324 Looks like the Griffins are at it again. 438 00:20:53,387 --> 00:20:56,757 Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos, and I'm rich and bald. 439 00:20:56,857 --> 00:20:59,627 Guess which one matters. Good night.