1 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,233 Last day today. 2 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:34,515 Mmm-hmm. 3 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,314 What do you fancy doing? 4 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,389 I'm doing it. 5 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,031 We've hardly seen anything of Benidorm. 6 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,554 Well... We came here to relax. 7 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,353 Would you come back here? 8 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:50,790 Absolutely, like a rat up a drainpipe. 9 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,029 I wasn't asking you. 10 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,475 Oh, will you two give it a rest, please. 11 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:55,754 Is it too much to ask for one 12 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,831 final day of peace and quiet? 13 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,832 That sounds good to me, one last day in paradise 14 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,592 before we head back to reality. 15 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,795 Oh, my God! 16 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:04,869 Oh, my God! 17 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,473 Jodie! 18 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,278 Jodie! Quick get out of the pool! 19 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,316 Bloody hell, Sheron, what you playing at? 20 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,389 Quick! Quick! 21 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,277 - What's going on? - I don't believe it! 22 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:14,509 I don't believe it! 23 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,596 Whoo! 24 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:17,789 Mom! 25 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,439 Sir Henry! 26 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,711 Joyce, how are you? You're looking radiant. 27 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,390 Yes, we had a problem with the under floor heating, it wouldn't turn off. 28 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,835 No, I mean you look enchanting, as ever. 29 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,879 Oh, Sir Henry, please, people will talk. 30 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,110 Let them! 31 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,351 Les, no personal calls during work. 32 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,590 It's me son, Liam. 33 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:46,591 One minute, outside. 34 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:47,869 You're all heart. 35 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,068 Everything all right, young 'un? 36 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,559 To what do we owe this pleasure? 37 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,868 Joyce, I need a favour. 38 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,676 I've been let down by The Benidorm Palace. 39 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,957 Really, I thought their show was rather good. 40 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,076 Ah, I'll be with you in a moment. 41 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,720 No, I mean they've had a power cut. It doesn't look as though they'll be 42 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,189 able to host tonight's Pride of Benidorm Awards. 43 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,269 I see. 44 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,433 I've heard so much about your newly refurbished Hawaiian function room. 45 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,950 You want to host The Pride of Benidorm Awards here? 46 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,873 It would be an absolute life saver, we're a sell-out. 47 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:22,636 No, I'm sorry Sir Henry, we simply don't have the manpower. 48 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,997 Joyce, we really are on sticky wicket with this one. 49 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,237 I mean obviously we asked The Asia Gardens and then the Sheraton 50 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,074 and then The Belroy and then The Three Seasons 51 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,072 but after those you were the first place that sprang to mind. 52 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,958 I'm sorry Sir Henry, as you can see, we really are very busy. 53 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,519 I know. I miss you too. 54 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,318 Les, I thought I said one minute! 55 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,992 I'm sorry Mrs Temple Savage. 56 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,115 Yes, pet? 57 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,111 I'm sorry we can't help you, Sir Henry. 58 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,237 Very best of luck in your search for a venue. 59 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,398 Les, I'll be in my office. 60 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:01,234 I think we can do better than relying on luck. 61 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,709 Oh, man! 62 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,552 I can't believe how much I've slept. 63 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,033 I've wasted most of the day! 64 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,155 What? 65 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,515 No you ain't, it's only half 10:00. 66 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,397 Oh, I've got half five. 67 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:16,515 What! 68 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,238 Mate, you need a new watch! 69 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,788 So what we doing tonight? It's our last night. 70 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,314 Pride of Benidorm Awards! Remember? 71 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,512 These are all the deets, they were pushed under my door when I got up. 72 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:27,999 Who do you think pushed them under the door? 73 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,069 The geezer we rescued? 74 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,195 Geezer? 75 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,236 When we climbed the mountain, the other day? 76 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,949 Oh, yeah! Brokeback Mountain! 77 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,874 Mate, you need to stop telling people I took you up Brokeback Mountain. 78 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,114 Anyway, the geezer we rescued can't be there tonight 79 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,077 but we have definitely been nominated. 80 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,476 Tiger Dyke and Joey Ellis 81 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,194 joint nomination, Hero of The Year Award! 82 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,515 Tige. 83 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:53,909 Yeah, mate? 84 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,519 You know when we came to Spain? 85 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,635 Yeah? 86 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,995 And you told me to change my watch by one hour. 87 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,195 Yeah. 88 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,237 We just do that once, yeah? 89 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,034 Not every day. 90 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,189 Just once, mate. 91 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,078 Cool. 92 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:15,509 "And as you are next on the reserve list, we are delighted to offer 93 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,229 "Jodie Dawson a place on the full-time performing arts course 94 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,719 "starting October the fifth." 95 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,552 Jodie! They've offered you a place! 96 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:23,999 - Yey! - Whoo! 97 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,638 Oh, my God! Amazing! 98 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:31,998 What do they mean, reserve list? 99 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,031 You mean they didn't want her at first? 100 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:35,838 Well done my beautiful princess! 101 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,717 Jodie, high five! 102 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,794 Somebody needs to give her a slap, she's hysterical. 103 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,519 - I'll give you a slap in a minute. - I got in! I got in! 104 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,113 What is going on here? 105 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,713 Calm down darling, Jodie, calm down. 106 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,950 I got in! I got into stage school! 107 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,759 You did darling! You did get in! Because you're the best. 108 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,751 Well, not quite the best... 109 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:58,879 On the reserve list after one of the actual best dropped out. 110 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,994 If you don't shut up, God help me, I am going to smash your face in. 111 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,479 Hey, hey, hey! 112 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,751 There will be no smashing of faces! 113 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,558 And no screamers. 114 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,757 This is a hotel not the bin of loonies. 115 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,956 Sorry pal, she just got a bit carried away. 116 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,439 Okay, but no more! 117 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,192 I am having my eyes peeled on you. 118 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,349 Sorry. 119 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,190 - Can I see! Can I see! - There you go. 120 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:23,829 That'll be dear. 121 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,592 You can't put a price on talent. 122 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,473 I bet they have put a price on it and it'll be through the roof. 123 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:30,909 How much is it? 124 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,274 We'll talk about it later. 125 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,238 Oh, it'll be cheaper if you talk about it later will it? 126 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,389 Dad! 127 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,233 Rob, why don't you take Jodie for another swim. 128 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,790 Come on, we'll do the scene from Titanic, do you know it? 129 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,279 - No. - I'll teach you it. 130 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,189 Well? 131 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,633 3,500. 132 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,472 3,500 a year! 133 00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,913 Shut up. 134 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,236 3,500 a year! 135 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,389 - A term. - What! 136 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:05,709 - Shut up! - Shut up! 137 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,033 Don't be ridiculous. 138 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,509 - Look, we can always... - No! Absolutely not. 139 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,318 No chance. Whatsoever. 140 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,319 End of discussion. 141 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,638 Joyce Temple... 142 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,075 Oh... 143 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,799 Oh, here! 144 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,518 Joyce Temple... 145 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,879 Oh? 146 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:44,349 Savage? 147 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,714 What on Earth is wrong? 148 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:46,835 Crystal? 149 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,035 Is that you? 150 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,437 Of course it's me. Who else looks like this? 151 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:55,392 Is this a recorded message? 152 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,268 Video conferencing, darling, don't tell me you've never done it before. 153 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:00,755 Can you see me? 154 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:04,628 Yes. And I'll get straight to the point, Savage, I've had a call from my 155 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,871 good friend Sir Henry at the British Consulate in Benidorm. 156 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,711 Savage! Will you pay attention! 157 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,119 Oh, Yes! Sorry Crystal. 158 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,471 Now, Sir Henry needs the use of our large function room this evening 159 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,028 for an award show organised by the town hall. 160 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,999 Ah, yes, he did mention something along those lines, the problem is... 161 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,436 The mayor of Benidorm himself will be in attendance. 162 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,954 Normally, we'd love to help out but... 163 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,715 Right, I have a conference in Alicante this afternoon but I should be with you 164 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,119 before the show begins. 165 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,189 You're coming here? 166 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,277 Elvis will give you an in depth E. T.A. 167 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,709 I beg your pardon? 168 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,154 Elvis, my driver will be in touch 169 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,596 to give you a more accurate estimated time of arrival. 170 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:45,869 Oh, I see. 171 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:49,316 Don't mess this up, Savage, your job could well depend on it. 172 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,073 So yes, we are televised. 173 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,994 Yes, the mayor of Benidorm and the CEO of Solana Hotels, Europe 174 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:05,991 will be here but, 175 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,594 if you manage to keep your head... 176 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,673 Heads will not roll, if you see what I mean. 177 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,912 I think my staff are more than capable of running a simple awards ceremony. 178 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,310 The key phrase here is, "Don't panic," 179 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,709 or as Douglas Adams would have it, 180 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:27,715 "Make sure one knows where one's towel is!" 181 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,952 Ah, I take it we have no Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy fans here. 182 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,960 Who loves you! 183 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,829 Whoo! 184 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,319 Sammy loves you! 185 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:42,873 Ah! Sammy. Sammy! 186 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,029 Over here! 187 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,916 Lady Henry! Didn't recognise you with your clothes on! 188 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,274 Come here you old bugger. 189 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,635 Lovely to see you. Love what you've got on. 190 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,312 Very you, very you, very you! 191 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,389 Lovely to see ya! 192 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:56,708 Ah 193 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,872 This, as I'm sure many of you recognise, 194 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,428 is Sammy Valentino, 195 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:06,638 a local celebrity and TV personality who will be hosting tonight's show. 196 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,718 A very funny man. 197 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,279 Oh, shut up you old tart. 198 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,271 The cheque's in the post! And no, I didn't guarantee it! 199 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:17,035 Woo! 200 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,715 So, this is the Pride of Benidorm, huh? 201 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,516 I think we should have gone to Lanzarote! 202 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:35,956 He really is an extremely funny man. Heh! 203 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,794 Very good... Okay, so if you'll all follow Sammy to the function room. 204 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,916 He'll give you an initial briefing. 205 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,072 Or a de-briefing if you're very lucky. 206 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,160 Don't be shy, darling, your mother wasn't! 207 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,798 I'm sorry? What did you say about my mother? 208 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,632 - Just a joke, I'm sure. - Yeah. 209 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,439 Yeah, just, just, judging by that reaction. I hope it's not the audience 210 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,114 for tonight else I'd be walking off stage to the sound of my own footsteps! 211 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,997 Surely, not for the first time. 212 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,752 - Sorry love? - Nothing. 213 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,195 Miss Temple Savage, what is going on? 214 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,919 I did not understand one single word from this guy. 215 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,470 Stop! 216 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:18,031 Meester Fawlty! Meester Fawlty, I no understand Eengleeesh! 217 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,838 I am from Barcelona! 218 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,956 Kitchen's on fire! 219 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:29,150 Right then. 220 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,595 Nice to see you, to see you... 221 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,553 Nice! 222 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,869 Well, look at the muck in here, Clark Gable... 223 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,713 Well, I'm cock-a-hoop. 224 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,278 Right, which way to the stage, then? 225 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,635 This way? Please, walk this way. 226 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,269 Right ho, got to walk this way. Don't mention the war! 227 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,557 Ha... Funny voice. 228 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,314 Stick it right up them. 229 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,031 I'm sorry for shouting. 230 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,230 I'm not sorry for what I said but I am sorry for the way I said it. 231 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:19,669 Where is everyone? 232 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,159 I've no idea. 233 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,992 It's our last day we should all be together. 234 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,069 That's true, 235 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,118 I bet they're gutted they're not here to soak up this lovely atmosphere. 236 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,032 - Sheron look... - No, I won't look, 237 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,712 and I certainly won't listen. 238 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:32,995 You've had your last say on the matter and that's fine. 239 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,470 I am going to find the money to put our daughter through stage school. 240 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,676 - Oh, for God's sake... - Don't you dare! 241 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,354 Don't you dare take that patronising tone with me! 242 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,317 How you gonna get 10,000 pounds? 243 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,549 Rob a bank? 244 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,392 - You haven't got a gun, have you? - No, I haven't 245 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,550 and you should be extremely relieved about that. 246 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,834 I'm just being practical. 247 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,309 - What's your favourite song? - It's... What? 248 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,550 What is your favourite song of all time? 249 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,675 I don't know. 250 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:58,194 What if I had that gun pointing to your head 251 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,272 and said you could listen to one last song before you die, what would it be? 252 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,794 - Relax. - I am relaxed I'm asking you a question. 253 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,633 No, Relax, by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. 254 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:07,789 So, what if... 255 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,440 - Really? - Yeah, top tune. 256 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,071 So what if Holly Johnson's parents, when he said he wanted to be a singer, 257 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,038 what if they'd said, "No, we don't support you, we're not gonna help you, 258 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,348 "you've got to work in a shoe shop"? 259 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,630 - There is a slight difference. - Tell me the difference. 260 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,392 Holly Johnson can sing. 261 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,234 Sheron! 262 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,154 Sheron! 263 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,318 And I'm sitting there, 264 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:40,872 and Sinatra starts walking towards me, and I'm chatting away 265 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:44,077 and he walks up to me and says, Sammy, "How's it going?" 266 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:49,035 And I said, "Piss off Frank, can't you see I'm with a bird!" 267 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,999 Bloody hell, don't tell me, "Who's Frank Sinatra?" 268 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,230 I know who Frank Sinatra is. 269 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,074 I think I laughed the first time I heard that joke, sometime in the 70's. 270 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,037 Yeah, all right Gomez, keep your hair on. 271 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,792 Me name's Les, not Gomez. 272 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,713 Whatever, 273 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,234 why don't you pop back to your coffin so me and sweetcheeks 274 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,878 can go through the drill for tonight, eh? 275 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,396 - I think I might just stay here. - I'm fine Les, believe me. 276 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,755 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 277 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,348 All right, I'll see you later. 278 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,991 Yes, bye, bye, adios, auf Wiedersehen, parting is such sweet sorrow. 279 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,798 Bye! Right, now... 280 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,235 Look, if you don't need me here I have got other work I can be doing. 281 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,993 I'll tell you what you can do for me, you can hand out some of these tickets 282 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,719 to some of the more attractive people of Benidorm. 283 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,109 Now, I know that's a bit of a tall order, but 284 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,113 I do not like an ugly front row. 285 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,192 No. We do not want an ugly front row. Do we? 286 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,790 - No... We do not. - No problem. 287 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,229 Whoa! 288 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:54,109 Remember, straight back, got a lot of planning to do for tonight. 289 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,430 And remember, Sammy loves you! 290 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,234 So, back to reality tomorrow! 291 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,636 Yeah, gutted man, totally gutted. 292 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,550 - Are you back to work on Monday? - Work? 293 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,392 No, mate, didn't I tell you? 294 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,750 I forgot to tell them I was coming on holiday 295 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,593 and when I remembered the day before they said if I went 296 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,797 - they'd replace me so... - And you still came on holiday? 297 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,317 Yeah man, I didn't wanna let you down. Plus I was looking forward to it. 298 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,992 So, what you gonna do for a job? 299 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:32,436 I don't know, something will turn up I guess. 300 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,879 Another drink? 301 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,069 Yeah mate, cool. 302 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:40,359 May as well get a round in while I can still afford it. 303 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:41,873 Do you get it? 304 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,916 The drinks are free here. 305 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,355 Yeah, nice one. 306 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,910 Yeah, yeah, everything's cool thanks. 307 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,275 Listen Dad, just a quick one, 308 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,273 have we got any vacancies at the moment? 309 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,676 Unskilled, definitely unskilled. 310 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,270 A beautiful drink for a beautiful lady. 311 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,349 Oh, shove it. 312 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,274 What an absolute arsehole. 313 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,839 Oh, you served her too? 314 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,114 What? 315 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,077 No man, what's his name in there. 316 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:40,551 Oh Sammy Vaselino, you are right, he is an asshole. 317 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,950 Oh, Mateo, before I forget, are you still looking for somewhere to live? 318 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,393 Yes, you know somewhere? 319 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:48,916 When Liam left Benidorm his two flatmates didn't get anybody else 320 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,231 to take his room but now they're starting to feel the pinch. 321 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,591 - Pinch? - They need a flatmate. 322 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,275 - How much? - 50 euros a week all in. 323 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,513 - All into what? - I mean including bills. 324 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,512 Liam's flatmates, hmm, I am not sure, who are they? 325 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,512 Two dancers in their early 20s' from the Benidorm Palace. 326 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,795 - I need this room. - Shall I tell them that you're in? 327 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,199 Yes, I am in. 328 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,952 Nee bother, I'll let them know. 329 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,471 What are you doing here in the shade? 330 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,831 - I've got it all worked out. - What? 331 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,632 Jodie's school fees. 332 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,716 - Oh, Sheron... - Listen, 333 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,753 and this way your dad doesn't have to live in the caravan. 334 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:35,077 So... We sell the caravan, that's got to be worth 6,000, 335 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,991 that's almost the first two terms. 336 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,759 The last term comes from charging your dad rent 337 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,479 to live with us, 300 per calendar month that's... 338 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,711 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a minute. Charge me dad rent? 339 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,877 Well, he said he doesn't want to stay in the caravan. 340 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,632 If he went somewhere else he'd have to pay rent. 341 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,156 Do you want me to charge me own dad rent to stay in our house? 342 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,589 Better he pays us than someone else he doesn't know. 343 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,278 Right, let's just imagine he did pay rent, how long is this course. 344 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,349 Three years. 345 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,192 So where's the other 20,000 coming from? 346 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,430 Have you got another four caravans you didn't tell me about? 347 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,115 It's her dream. 348 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,838 I know it is, I know it is. 349 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,597 But it's just the wrong time with Rob going to uni and that. 350 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,519 Just because we can't send her to this school right now, 351 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,517 doesn't mean she won't follow her dreams. 352 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,439 If she's got the talent 353 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,870 you think she has, then it'll happen. 354 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,671 But we can't afford this stage school. 355 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:29,675 It'll break her heart. 356 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,594 I'll make it up to her. Somehow. 357 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,908 Come on. 358 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,472 I want you to know, Sir Henry, 359 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,233 you may have won the battle but you will not win the war. 360 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:48,709 I'm sorry? 361 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,509 I told you we did not have the resources to host your evening 362 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,956 and you completely ignored me and went over my head. 363 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,838 Joyce, I need to apologise about that 364 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,718 but you must understand, I was at my wit's end. 365 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:05,031 My back was against the wall and I panicked. 366 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,352 But I need you to know that I find you terribly attractive, 367 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,079 and I would never normally do anything to undermine your authority 368 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,630 or interrupt the day to day running of your extremely impressive operation 369 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:15,869 here at The Solana. 370 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,678 - What did you say? - Erm... I was at my wits end... 371 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,669 - My back was against the wall... - No, not that. 372 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,314 Err... I would never undermine your authority? 373 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,156 Something about an impressive operation? 374 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,471 You said you find me terribly attractive. 375 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,318 Oh. Yes. 376 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,279 Yes, I did say that. 377 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,950 Well, you've never said anything like that before. 378 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,429 Oh, I have, to my ex-wife. 379 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,472 Although that was in the early 80s' when I was drinking rather heavily. 380 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,312 No, I mean, to me. 381 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,435 Oh. 382 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,593 Well, one has to occasionally throw one's keys onto the table. 383 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,557 - Speaking metaphorically. - Oh, of course. 384 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,235 Perhaps we should continue this conversation another time, 385 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,348 somewhere slightly more appropriate. 386 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,112 Maybe I could take you up the Consulate. 387 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:10,754 On a first date? 388 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:11,875 I'm sorry? 389 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:13,795 Oh. 390 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,789 I see. Sorry. Yes, oh yes, that would be delightful. 391 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,190 Well, I'd better get on, we have Peter Andre booked for the cabaret, 392 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,157 must make sure nothing goes wrong there. 393 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,593 We've booked him before. 394 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:26,999 - Really? - Peter Andre? 395 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,310 Yes, we had him in Neptune's a couple of years ago. 396 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:34,713 Oh, heavens, and I thought we had something of a scoop, never mind. 397 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,475 I'll call him and make sure he gives you an extra special performance. 398 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,437 Yes. Thank you. 399 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,592 Until this evening. 400 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,834 All right, no problem if you've got an evening planned, 401 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,115 I just thought I'd ask what you were doing as it's our last night. 402 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,272 Why don't you come to this thing tonight? You might win an award! 403 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,918 Joe, he won't win an award. 404 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,752 Well what sort of attitude is that? 405 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,035 No mate, he ain't been nominated. 406 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,394 I'll nominate him. 407 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:01,715 Shut up. 408 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,952 Come if you want, it might be good. 409 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,229 Hello, 410 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,796 I don't suppose you've got plans for tonight have you? 411 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,758 I did but I'll cancel them for you, no problem. 412 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,479 I've got free tickets for The Pride of Benidorm Awards. 413 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,438 Oh, we're going, me and Joey have been nominated. 414 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,033 - Really? - Yeah, 415 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,674 we can all go out for a drink after, if you want. 416 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,228 I've got arrangements after the show. 417 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,319 See you later. 418 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,191 Shut up! How did you manage that? 419 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,793 We're just going for a drink. 420 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,599 Looks like I'll see you guys later after all. 421 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:43,829 Oh, my God, you'll never guess what, Rob's got a date with Amber tonight. 422 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,390 I think I'll go for a swim, last one innit? 423 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:48,949 Yeah, man. 424 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,917 Here Joe, everything all right? 425 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,991 Yeah, everything's cool mate. 426 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,355 Jacqueline. 427 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,799 Oh, hello. 428 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,553 Can I join you? 429 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:09,153 If you want to. 430 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,035 Listen, 431 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:21,112 I might have got wrong end of the stick but, have I offended you in any way? 432 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,589 No, no you haven't. 433 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,994 It's just that, last night I could have sworn you gave me the cold shoulder. 434 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,031 I was just a bit tired. 435 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,237 I really enjoyed the night before, you know, the time we spent together. 436 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,718 Eddie, I feel a bit silly but... Well, 437 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:44,351 I came out here yesterday and I saw you flirting with that manageress. 438 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:50,468 And I don't know why it bothered me, we hardly know each other, but... 439 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,558 Well, 440 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,030 I suppose I just feel a bit vulnerable. 441 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,714 It feels strange, being on me own, after all these years. 442 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,598 I know what you mean. 443 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,228 That feeling of starting again, 444 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,954 it doesn't feel right at our age, does it? 445 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:12,711 I can't help feeling my Donald would have coped a lot better on his own 446 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,990 if I'd been the first to go. 447 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,556 From what you told me he sounded a real character. 448 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,232 Oh, he was! 449 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,675 Do you know, 450 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:27,670 he used to say something that I always thought was out of character for him, 451 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,468 "From the moment we're born we start to die." 452 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,032 But now I understand, 453 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,319 the clock is ticking from the word go, 454 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:46,430 we need to live life to the full and take all the opportunities it offers. 455 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:51,278 We can't go through life thinking "What if?" 456 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:52,833 Do you know what I mean? 457 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,035 I do. 458 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,796 I do know what you mean. 459 00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,509 Buenos dias! 460 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,598 Buenos dias! 461 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,318 Buenos dias! 462 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,710 Buenos dias. Monty! 463 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,033 What are you doing here? 464 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:14,353 Joyce, I just picked up my tickets from The Benidorm Palace for tonight 465 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,630 and found out you're hosting the Awards here. 466 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,069 Yes, I'm just helping out an old friend. 467 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,195 Not Sir Henry. 468 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:23,193 Who? Oh, erm, I mean, yes, kind of. 469 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,316 He is an absolute bastard, you know that don't you? 470 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,831 - Really? - I don't like to speak ill of others. 471 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,114 Yes, I can see that. 472 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,668 But he is an absolute bastard. 473 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,032 And a womaniser. 474 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,312 - Really! - Oh, yes, 475 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,960 he's been through more middle-aged women than Gordon's gin. 476 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,116 I'd steer very well clear of that one if I were you. 477 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,711 Anyway, that's enough about him, I'm here to talk about us. 478 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:48,835 Us? 479 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,359 Do you mind? 480 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,079 Joyce, I've been thinking, 481 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,515 maybe I was a bit hasty, leaving the other night. 482 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:05,151 Monty, I had no idea what you were talking about when you ran off. 483 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:09,199 All I know is we were supposed to be spending some time together 484 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,517 and I spent the evening on my balcony alone. 485 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,393 - So it was a misunderstanding! - Monty, I've got to get on. 486 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,677 Joyce, would you do me the honour 487 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,719 of accompanying me to The Pride of Benidorm Awards tonight? 488 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,515 Maybe pop into Mr Wu's after? 489 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,115 A- la carte? 490 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,679 Chips and rice? 491 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,875 No. 492 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:32,959 Oh, well don't mince your words. 493 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,076 I'm sorry, Monty, I have a hotel to run. 494 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,836 I'm sure I'll see you at some point, 495 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:39,872 I'll be in and out all night. 496 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,034 I was hoping for something similar myself. 497 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,832 I think I understand. 498 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,517 Well, the problem is, with the mix up with this reserve list 499 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,239 they sent the wrong email out. 500 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,038 I'm so sorry, darling. 501 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:22,588 But your grandad's still buying you that karaoke machine, aren't you? 502 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,795 It's all paid for. 503 00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,678 I'm glad they made a mistake. 504 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,115 What do you mean? 505 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,589 Well, even though I'd love to go, 506 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,917 it wouldn't be fair on you and me dad because it's such a lot of money. 507 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,874 So, is it all right if I go to this awards thing, then? 508 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,828 Hello? 509 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:56,191 Ladies and gentlemen, senors and... What is it? 510 00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,956 Senoritas, welcome to The Pride of Benidorm Awards, 511 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:06,592 will you please welcome your host, TV's own Sammy Valentino! 512 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,194 Thank you. 513 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:10,675 Woohoo! 514 00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:16,309 Thank you, thank you, muchas gracias, please don't, 515 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,194 please don't stop. Oh, you have. 516 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,635 Do we have a show for you this evening! 517 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,109 Do we have a show? 518 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,077 Yeah, because nobody tells me nothing around here, you know. 519 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,230 But before we do carry on with tonight's proceedings, 520 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,038 there's one woman I'd like to thank. 521 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:35,033 Please give a round of applause for the lovely Joyce Savage Temple. 522 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:40,399 Yes, the manageress of the Solana, yes, manageress of the Solana hotel 523 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,871 that stepped in at the very last minute and gave us this, um... 524 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,599 This... What exactly is this place? 525 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:52,470 It's like a cross between a village hall and DFS. 526 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,992 Actually, between us, I had a bit of lunch today with Joyce, 527 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,354 you know we had lunch. 528 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:01,955 She looked across the table, she said, "Sammy, how do you fancy a quickie?" 529 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,759 I looked her in the eye and I said, "Joyce, I think you might have misread 530 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,035 "the menu, it says quiche". 531 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,232 All right boys, have you won yet? 532 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,231 It's just starting. 533 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:16,150 Well, without further ado, it's time for our very first award. 534 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:18,954 Who loves you? 535 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:20,029 Sammy! 536 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,677 Lovely new singer! 537 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:33,072 Oh, I know, he's fabulous. It's Marc Marcus, the Lionel Richie of Benidorm. 538 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,119 There you go Kenneth, another Toad in the Hole. 539 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,428 Thank you, Miss Conroy. 540 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,317 Will you be wanting another pudding as well? 541 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,990 Lesley, I think two Toad in the Holes and a jam roly poly 542 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,155 is enough for any man. 543 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,798 Even one who's worked as hard as I have today. 544 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:46,915 I'm not a pig. 545 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,434 It's not on the menu but there's a bit of spotted dick left over 546 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:50,589 from yesterday. 547 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:52,033 Oooh, you temptress! 548 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,680 Go on then, just a bit, plenty of custard. 549 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:57,713 Hey, good new singer this. 550 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,075 Stick around, there's might be someone else you like later too. 551 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,276 Oh, champion! 552 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,870 I must admit, you have both worked very hard today. 553 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,076 Well, we had to, we were rushed off our feet. 554 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,913 Hey, Kenneth, any news on that stylist you had recommended? 555 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,798 All in good time, Troy, all in good time. 556 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,713 And thank you to all my patients, to the ones who lived 557 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,109 and also to the ones who died, 558 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:33,591 I could not have done this without you. 559 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:38,037 You are my inspiration, you are the wind beneath my wings! 560 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,832 Thank you! Muchas gracias! 561 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,833 Yeah, thank you Doctor Lugo. Thank you! 562 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,512 Ah, there, Dr Lugo there! 563 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,910 The next award is oh... Oh, we like this one. 564 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,788 It's the Hero Award, an award recognising bravery and courage 565 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,189 in the face of adversity. 566 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,033 I should be in the running for that one, shouldn't I? 567 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,590 And now for the nominations for our next award, 568 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:08,077 can we have a warm hand on her entrance... Stop it! 569 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,557 Amber! 570 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,552 - Amber! Amber's here everybody. - Whoo! 571 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,635 Amber... 572 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,155 Ber... Amber. 573 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,834 Just waiting for her to give me the green light. 574 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,951 Sammy loves you! 575 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,952 Go on, get off the stage... Off the stage! My show, my rules. 576 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:33,917 Amber, lovely lady. 577 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,071 Okay, right. 578 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,996 The nominations for the Hero Award are as follows, 579 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,709 Juan-Carlos Escribano, 580 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,870 Victor Marquez, 581 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,238 Tiger Dyke and Joey Ellis, couple of local lads there. 582 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,309 Wonderful. 583 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,153 And the winner is... 584 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,592 Drum roll... Bit of flamenco for the locals. 585 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,670 The winner, or should I say the winners are 586 00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,798 Tiger Dyke and Joey Ellis 587 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:11,271 for rescuing a fellow mountaineer on the Sierra Helada here in Benidorm. 588 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:17,113 And here to present the award is... 589 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,397 Benidorm's very own mayor, Agustin Navarro. 590 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,638 Woo, woo, woo! 591 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,159 Yes, wonderful. 592 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:36,718 I'm so sorry, Peter I came as soon as you called, is there a problem? 593 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,634 Joyce, will you please tell this man I have been booked for this show. 594 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,194 Well, of course you're booked, I confirmed it myself. 595 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:44,315 Thank you! 596 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,914 I've got Lady Gaga sitting in me van one show down 597 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,479 thanks to me taking on this solo gig. 598 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,437 Oh, hi mate, you must be Henry, 599 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,671 sorry I'm late... Gordon, what the hell are you doing here? 600 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,273 I'm sorry Spencer, I was here first. 601 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,510 You don't call me Spencer when I'm in character, okay? It's Peter, 602 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,669 my name is Peter. 603 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,069 I'm sorry, when we made the booking we stressed 604 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:02,639 we wanted the original Peter Andre. 605 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,598 Ah, that's me Henry, yeah, I am the original Peter Andre. 606 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,636 Five years in Benidorm and still going strong. 607 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,358 No, the one and only Peter Andre! 608 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:11,954 That's me, the one and only Peter Andre. 609 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:14,429 Joyce, can you sort this out please, 610 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,511 I turned down a wedding in Polop for this. 611 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,114 I didn't know there were two Peter Andre in Benidorm. 612 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:23,318 There's only one Peter Andre tribute act in Benidorm and I am he. 613 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,630 We didn't want a tribute act! 614 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,517 Oh, for goodness sake! We've had this before, 615 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,637 we've got four Olly Murs tributes in Benidorm. 616 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,631 Not one of them is under 40. 617 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,436 There's only one way to sort this out, let's hear you both sing. 618 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:37,555 What? 619 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,153 What kind of accent's that mate? 620 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:48,229 Shut up! 621 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,869 Okay, that's enough, enough. It wasn't... 622 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,198 Terrible. 623 00:31:58,280 --> 00:31:59,315 It's your turn. 624 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,594 I don't have to compete with that. Do I? 625 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,956 - Fine, I'll go on. - No, it's okay, I'll go, I'll go. 626 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,711 - We're waiting... - Yeah, I know... 627 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,197 I'm sorry, do you have a second song? 628 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:37,879 Watch dis! 629 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,434 Who are you doing now? 630 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:41,158 Bubbler Ranx, who does the rap in that song. 631 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,356 Two for the price of one, you can't argue with that. 632 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,113 I'm not being funny, mate, you don't look anything like Peter, 633 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,349 and this is clearly a wig! 634 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,955 Oi, what do you think you're doing? Oooh, geroff! 635 00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,112 Oh, for goodness sake! Will the real Peter Andre please stand up! 636 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,078 See. Told you it was a wig. 637 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,071 Come on, mate, get up. 638 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,708 Mate, come on. 639 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,475 Okay, come on Cobber, wake up. 640 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,028 Seriously, wake up! 641 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:18,588 Oh, shit! 642 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,798 Where are you going? 643 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,237 Well, unfortunately ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately 644 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,356 we're coming to the end of our evening... 645 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,471 - Aww - Ah, yes, I know... 646 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,152 Who loves ya, who loves ya? 647 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:36,310 Sammy loves you, that's right. 648 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,915 Normally, somebody tells me what's about to... It doesn't matter... 649 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,355 Doesn't matter coz normally what happens... I'll stand with my back to 650 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,512 the curtain, like this and somebody will give me a little poke. 651 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,234 Can't touch you for it! 652 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,788 Oooh, there it goes... Pop... 653 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,032 Only hurts the first time. 654 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,438 What are we supposed to do now? 655 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,752 Thank God Crystal never turned up, I could lose my job over this! 656 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,068 Savage! 657 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:08,912 What the hell is going on here? 658 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:10,629 Hello, Henry. 659 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:11,948 Crystal! You came! 660 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,158 What is that idiot on the stage babbling on about? 661 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,472 I'm so sorry, Crystal, I think he's just trying to fill in 662 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,757 - while we sort out the final act. - Oh, well where is the final act? 663 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,072 That's him there. 664 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,591 You mean you have no act to close the show with? 665 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,752 I don't suppose you could give us a tune could you? 666 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,953 Hey Mateo, did you pay your deposit for the flat? 667 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,714 Yes, I paid into the bank account you gave me. 668 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,156 It is going to be a hard life living with two 20-year-old dancers 669 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:56,470 but it is a cross over I will have to bear. 670 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,154 Champion, George and Fred are coming in tonight. 671 00:34:59,240 --> 00:35:00,958 Who is George and Fred? 672 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,439 Your new flatmates. 673 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:05,474 Yes, sir? 674 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,158 Who is she? 675 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,880 Dunno, she's good though! 676 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,274 Yeah, man! 677 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,235 Listen, Joe... 678 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:33,799 Yeah, Tige? 679 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,434 Mate, I got an email from my dad saying he offered you a job. 680 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,829 Yeah, he did as it goes. 681 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,433 But you turned him down. 682 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,592 Yeah, it's not really what I'm looking for at the moment. 683 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:48,393 What are you looking for? 684 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:52,792 Tiger, I've really enjoyed this holiday but... 685 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,440 I admit I'm not the brightest person, 686 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:59,069 and I know I sometimes get things wrong but... 687 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,152 I think at times I've embarrassed you on this holiday 688 00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:04,470 and I wouldn't wanna do that to you at work as well. 689 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,118 Mate, what are you talking about? 690 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,714 Well, like today, you told me to shut up and well, 691 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,396 I really like hanging with you man and I don't wanna ruin our friendship. 692 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:14,993 I didn't say shut up! 693 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,675 I mean when I said shut up, I just mean shut up, not shut up! 694 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:19,909 Shut up! 695 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,594 - Serious! - Oh, my days! 696 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,558 - I thought you were mad with me! - Don't be stupid! 697 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,712 Hey, don't call me stupid! 698 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,031 Jokes! 699 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,435 So you'll take the job? 700 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,557 Yeah man, I'm not a complete idiot! 701 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,799 Thank you! 702 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:02,515 You're so sweet, thank you so much. 703 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,557 Saved your ass again, Savage. 704 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,989 He's fine but he may have concussion. 705 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,071 - We've called an ambulance. - Henry! 706 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,720 I don't know who your mate is Henry but she's tearing the place apart. 707 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,833 Oh, is it all right if I go Joyce? 708 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,520 - My shift finished half an hour ago. - Yes, of course. 709 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,830 No, no, no, no, no, no. 710 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:32,638 It's all part of the show, isn't it, the big finale, 711 00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:34,039 we've got to do the big bow at the end, haven't we? 712 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,350 I'm fine, you can have my share of the applause. 713 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,396 Think you'll find that wasn't a suggestion love. 714 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,596 She said she doesn't want to. 715 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:43,399 Oh look, it speaks. 716 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,072 - Let go of her. - I tell you what, 717 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,230 why don't I sing Swannee River and you can jump in it, all right? 718 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,356 I said let go of her! 719 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:52,549 Oh, God! 720 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,399 Oh. 721 00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,878 Oh, you stink! 722 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:04,552 And now to start our karaoke, Kenneth and a very special guest. 723 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,036 So basically, I'm staying here for a couple more weeks. 724 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,599 What do you mean you're staying here? 725 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,399 I don't know what part of that you don't understand, 726 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,550 I'm extending my holiday. 727 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,153 You can't stay here on your own. 728 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,993 Who said I was staying here on my own? 729 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,193 And before you say anything, we're just friends. 730 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,558 So it's two weeks here then back to Leeds to house sit for Ron Pickford. 731 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,756 - Ron Pickford? - Yeah, you know Ron Pickford, 732 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:51,355 all my gear's in his garage, he's off on a round the world cruise. 733 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,271 - Three months. - Three months? 734 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:56,873 Then our Rob'll be at uni. 735 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,555 Oh, well if I've not found somewhere to live by then maybe I can come and stay 736 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,232 with you for a few weeks? 737 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:05,439 You can come and stay with us for as long as you like Eddie. 738 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:06,873 Do you mean that Sheron? 739 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,793 Yeah, I do. 740 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,957 Well, you might be glad of the company 741 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,032 because I'm paying for our Jodie to go to stage school. 742 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,788 Grandad! Do you mean it? 743 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:19,279 No, you can't. 744 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,351 - Dad! - I've made up my mind. 745 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:25,228 We need to live life to the full and take all the opportunities it offers. 746 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,798 We can't go through life thinking, "What if?" 747 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,314 Thank you grandad, I love you. 748 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,192 I love you too, kid. 749 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,156 Now, whose round is it? 750 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,308 Hi, Dad! 751 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,754 So why didn't you say you were coming back, young 'un? 752 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,559 Why just tell someone you're coming home when you can say it in a song? 753 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:55,675 So what's going on? 754 00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,955 You've given up your job in Madrid? 755 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,713 Well, I've given them four weeks' notice but I haven't saved as much money 756 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,836 as I thought I would, can I stay with you for a bit? 757 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,114 A bit! 758 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:05,918 Just you try leaving! 759 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,468 Come here! 760 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,277 I've missed you, dad. I've missed you too much. 761 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,237 I've missed you all too much! 762 00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:18,836 Liam, this is your prospective new boss, Troy. 763 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,433 Hello, Troy. 764 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,238 Interview tomorrow morning? 765 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:24,309 No need. 766 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:25,992 You come highly recommended. 767 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,835 Drinks! We all need a drink! 768 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,311 You are happy you have a new flat mate, yes? 769 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,311 I couldn't be happier. 770 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,957 And look, here's your new flat mates. 771 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:43,871 George and Fred. 772 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,557 Lesley, I think I have made the mistake. 773 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,513 I have nothing against the moofalatas but... 774 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,511 Maybe I look for somewhere else to stay. 775 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,352 Not them, them. 776 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,916 Georgina and Estair. 777 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,116 They call her Fred, as in Fred Astaire. 778 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,636 - Get it? - I certainly hope so. 779 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:07,508 Come on. 780 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,356 Joyce, I couldn't find you at the awards. 781 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,159 Monty, I told you I'd be in and out all night. 782 00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:27,355 You look absolutely exhausted, you're sweating. 783 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,474 Horses sweat Monty, women glow. 784 00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:34,190 Well, come and sit down you're glowing like a pig. 785 00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:42,239 Joyce, I want you to know my intentions are honourable. 786 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,674 Monty, I think I've made a decision. 787 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:51,269 I enjoy my life, and I love my job but men 788 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,353 are not for me. 789 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,838 Good lord Joyce, I don't wish to appear rude 790 00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,475 but don't you think you've left it a bit late in the day 791 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,471 to start boarding the lady-train? 792 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:05,395 When I said men are not for me I didn't mean I... For goodness sake. 793 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,398 Oh, I see, I see. 794 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,472 You're choosing the single life. 795 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,239 For now. 796 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:17,029 I understand. 797 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:22,476 But Joyce, if you change your mind, I'll be here. 798 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,192 One last dance? 799 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,235 Why not? 800 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,158 Good night, God bless you. Thank you very much.