1 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,960 You've got to be joking. 2 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,520 Kenneth! Oh, God! 3 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:34,720 Jesus! Sorry. 4 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,440 Sorry. I didn't realise you were closing. What? 5 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,680 Oh. I thought I'd fallen asleep in the bog in Cafe Benidorm again. 6 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,720 You haven't been to bed, have you? 7 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,760 Have you got a ciggy? I don't smoke. 8 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,080 We took five bookings last night, and they're all waiting in Blow and Go. 9 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,240 What are you doing here, then? Pop off. 10 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,720 No point having a dog and barking yourself. 11 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,720 Good morning, Geoffrey. Morning. 12 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,920 Did you sleep all right? I'm feeling... Not comfortable. 13 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:32,640 Oh, don't worry, Rubella. It took me a while to get used to the beds here. 14 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,280 How did you sleep? Like a baby - wet and windy. 15 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,920 I don't remember doing that much sleeping, thanks to your snoring! 16 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:47,480 That's my adenoids. All us Maltbys suffer with them. 17 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,560 I don't! I had no sleep too. 18 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,800 I think maybe we can spend some time today - alone? 19 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,320 Away from the hotel? 20 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,360 Oh, what a good idea. 21 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,400 I think Ionela meant me and her. 22 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,320 Oh, yes, of course. 23 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:07,800 You young kids get off. 24 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:11,800 You don't want an old nag like me weighing you down. 25 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,840 No. 26 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,760 Well, shall we go get some breakfast? 27 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,800 Oh, my cardigan! 28 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,120 You don't need a cardigan. It's boiling. 29 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:35,480 Of course she needs a cardie. There's nowt on the lass. 30 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,760 Not like us, Bully Beef and Chips. 31 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,520 Oh, you've got to be joking! 32 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,040 What's happened? 33 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,080 The lift's stuck. 34 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:51,440 Oh, that's not good, is it? 35 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,320 Oh, what are we going to do? 36 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,360 Will you be quiet? I'm sorting it. 37 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:01,160 You're not sorting it. You're just pressing all the buttons in the wrong order. 38 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,560 How can it be the wrong order? We're not moving. 39 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:10,160 Look, son, the last thing you want to do is to confuse it. 40 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,120 You know what happened to Willy Wonka. His went up through the roof. 41 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,160 Mother, will you just calm down? 42 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:21,760 How can I calm down? We could be stuck in here all day! 43 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,080 Help! Help! 44 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,920 Mother... Mother, for God's sake! 45 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,600 Oh, I'm sorry, son. 46 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,640 Let's just keep calm. 47 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,240 The last thing we want to do in a situation like this is panic. 48 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,360 Help! 49 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,040 Help! For God's sake, somebody help! 50 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:47,080 We're gonna die! We're both gonna die! 51 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,120 Help! 52 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,400 For God's sake, somebody, help! 53 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,600 Excuse me. Buenos. 54 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,920 The lift, it has stopped working. I had to walk down many stairs. 55 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:23,240 I am sure that this is not a problem for someone who is young and healthy. 56 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,760 Exactly, so for my fiance and his mother, it must have been terrible. 57 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:31,040 Do not tell me you are marrying that ugly, angry fat man? 58 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:35,360 Geoffrey's not angry. He's very clever, and you are very rude. 59 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,400 What's going on here? 60 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,280 Your lift, like your staff, is how you say...out of order. 61 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,320 Fair point well made. 62 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,960 Get on the phone and ring that lift company now! 63 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,840 In Romania, we have a proverb: 64 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:54,120 it is better to choose the successful man with a large stomach over a poor husband who has muscles. 65 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:59,280 In Spain, we have a saying also: do not try to dig for gold in a field of doggy-do. 66 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:08,600 I tell you what, Jacqueline, these last few days with you have been a real delight. 67 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,640 Oh, that's nice. 68 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,880 And don't try telling me you haven't enjoyed getting out and about. Well... 69 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,120 But today is a day for calm, quiet thinking. 70 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,160 Ah, yes! 71 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:27,400 A day when all we do is serenely reflect on our relationships with Rhiannon and Donald 72 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,840 and bask in our new-found friendship. 73 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:32,880 Aww... That sounds lovely. 74 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,600 Today, we are not leaving these sunbeds. 75 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,840 I'm going to e-mail Rhiannon at our place in France. 76 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,360 Have you ever experienced a French gite? 77 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:48,720 What, do you mean like when you've eaten too many croissants? 78 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,320 Er...no. It's basically a French cottage. 79 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,320 We find it very relaxing. Oh! 80 00:05:56,360 --> 00:06:02,400 Donald went cottaging in France one summer with his friend, Martin "Lucky" James. 81 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:08,320 He said it was lovely, but I don't remember him using the word "relaxing". 82 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:12,680 Oh, there's no way you wouldn't like this place, Jacqueline. 83 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,560 I'd show you photos, but I can't seem to get the damned Internet working. 84 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,200 You're not trying to get on the Internet, are you, mate? Yeah. 85 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,240 I wouldn't bother. The Wi-Fi's been down all morning. 86 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:26,240 I'm going to nip into town and get a dongle. Oh! 87 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,280 Would you get one for me? 88 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,720 My husband's not back for another day or two. 89 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:47,040 Ladies and gentlemen, apologies about the Internet. 90 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:53,160 We've got the telecoms men coming and the engineers are on the way to sort the lift. 91 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,880 Get a couple of cocktails down your neck and just chill out! 92 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,080 Miss Temple-Savage, you are OK? 93 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,880 That woman has all the public relations skills of Mao Zedong. 94 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,720 You are staying here long before your next job? 95 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:13,160 Between you and me, Mateo, I don't have a next job. 96 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:18,200 Os dia! But you said... I know what I said, but who's going to give me a job at my age? 97 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,880 Crystal Hennessy-Vass basically ended my career. 98 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:25,480 That bastard! Well, I'm not exactly a fan, but steady on. She's still your boss. 99 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,520 No, that bastard. 100 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,560 Hello, mate. How's it going? 101 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,880 What are you doing here and why do you wearing this T-shirt? 102 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,000 Os dio! Argh! Janey! 103 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,160 Janey! Argh! Do not struggle. 104 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,200 Resistance is fertile. Get off! 105 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,120 What the bleeding hell is going on here?! 106 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:50,600 This asshole has been here before. Now he's a poser to be a member of staff. 107 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,640 I'm not a poser. Posing! 108 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:57,640 Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine, thanks, Auntie Janey. 109 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,520 The last time he was here, he - What did you say? 110 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:07,560 This is Jason, my nephew, and the new Solana head barman. 111 00:08:12,505 --> 00:08:15,985 Janey, putting our differences aside, I really must protest. 112 00:08:16,043 --> 00:08:18,963 You cannot hire this man. He's a professional con artist! 113 00:08:19,003 --> 00:08:21,003 What has it got to do with you? 114 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:25,203 But Janey, it is true. He stole money and wristbands and girls. 115 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,123 Girls? I mean money and wristbands. 116 00:08:29,363 --> 00:08:32,763 Come on, Mateo, what sort of way is that to treat an old friend? 117 00:08:34,403 --> 00:08:36,883 Calm down, fella. It's true, Janey. 118 00:08:36,923 --> 00:08:41,203 Whether he's your nephew or not, the fact is he was stealing from this hotel. 119 00:08:41,243 --> 00:08:44,723 And it's also a fact that blood is thicker than water 120 00:08:44,763 --> 00:08:48,643 and that my Jason is the finest cocktail maker from here to the Wirral. 121 00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:51,563 Thanks, Auntie Janey. That's really sweet. 122 00:08:52,163 --> 00:08:55,283 And anyone got a problem with that can take it up with the manager. 123 00:08:55,323 --> 00:08:57,323 But, Janey, you are the manager. 124 00:08:57,363 --> 00:08:59,923 You never got any brighter while I was away, did you? 125 00:08:59,963 --> 00:09:01,963 Get back to work, the lot of you! 126 00:09:10,803 --> 00:09:12,883 Are you sure you haven't got any food? 127 00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:15,123 Check your bag. I've got nothing, son. 128 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:21,283 I had a packet of them crisp things from the plane, but I took them out of my bag. 129 00:09:23,603 --> 00:09:28,123 I'd have thought Rubella would have raised the alarm by now. 130 00:09:29,283 --> 00:09:32,323 Mother, her name's not Rubella. 131 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:36,283 I thought that was strange. Is it her nickname? 132 00:09:36,323 --> 00:09:38,323 No, it's not. It's - 133 00:09:38,883 --> 00:09:40,883 It don't matter. 134 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:45,723 Still, it's strange she hasn't let anyone know we're here. 135 00:09:49,803 --> 00:09:53,483 Why don't you just come out with it, Mam, say what's bothering you? 136 00:09:54,763 --> 00:10:00,443 Well, I just don't think she's the right girl for you. 137 00:10:00,483 --> 00:10:04,083 And on what hard evidence are you basing this wild supposition? 138 00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:06,123 It's not superstition! 139 00:10:07,283 --> 00:10:10,923 The Maltby gut is never wrong. 140 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:17,043 Last time I had this feeling, I ignored it, 141 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:21,123 and three weeks later, bang! 142 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,163 9/11. 143 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,323 Incredible. 144 00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:29,683 I don't know how you do it. It's a gift. 145 00:10:30,483 --> 00:10:33,323 All I'm saying, son, 146 00:10:33,363 --> 00:10:37,883 is there's something going on with her, Rubella, 147 00:10:37,923 --> 00:10:41,003 something I can't put my finger on. 148 00:10:42,763 --> 00:10:44,763 You don't know her like I do. 149 00:10:45,523 --> 00:10:47,523 We chatted on line for weeks. 150 00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,003 She's had a really traumatic childhood. 151 00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:53,043 Has she? Yeah. 152 00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:55,683 Just give her a chance. 153 00:10:56,203 --> 00:10:58,203 Don't be so quick to judge. 154 00:10:58,963 --> 00:11:02,643 You don't know what secrets people are carrying around with them. 155 00:11:03,923 --> 00:11:06,443 You, more than most people, should know that. 156 00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:10,483 Meaning what? 157 00:11:10,523 --> 00:11:12,723 You don't want to discuss it now, do you? 158 00:11:14,283 --> 00:11:17,283 Well, that's up to you, son. 159 00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:19,323 We're not going anywhere. 160 00:11:28,603 --> 00:11:31,483 Oh, hello, sir. I wonder if you've ever been interested in - 161 00:11:31,523 --> 00:11:33,523 No, I ain't. 162 00:11:41,563 --> 00:11:45,483 Hello, sir. Have you ever thought of a holiday home on the Costa Blanca? 163 00:11:45,523 --> 00:11:49,003 It's you! You what? You don't remember me, do you? 164 00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:51,363 Yeah. You just walked past me a second ago. 165 00:11:51,403 --> 00:11:53,403 No, I don't mean that. 166 00:11:54,203 --> 00:11:57,163 167 00:11:57,203 --> 00:11:59,443 168 00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:02,963 I think you should probably go. 169 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,323 170 00:12:05,363 --> 00:12:07,603 Have you got someone I can call to collect you? 171 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,363 All right, what about this one? 172 00:12:10,403 --> 00:12:12,403 ♪ Oh, I swear what it means ♪ 173 00:12:14,243 --> 00:12:18,763 You are Melanie O'Mara, Thistle Mead Junior School, Winchmore Hill? 174 00:12:20,643 --> 00:12:24,403 Oh, my God! Specky Clive! What? 175 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:26,443 Specky Clive, is that really you? 176 00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:30,603 I don't believe it. I didn't know people called me Specky Clive. 177 00:12:30,643 --> 00:12:33,403 Oh, no, they didn't. That was just me. Oh. 178 00:12:33,443 --> 00:12:36,883 Everyone else called you Pigsy. Pigsy? 179 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,443 Yeah. You know, from the television series, Monkey. 180 00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:44,843 Well, that or Penfold or Morocco Mole or 181 00:12:44,883 --> 00:12:48,163 Toad of Toad Hall! Yeah, yeah, all right. I get the picture. 182 00:12:48,203 --> 00:12:50,683 So, what are you doing here? I'm on holiday. 183 00:12:50,723 --> 00:12:53,563 Oh, Specky Clive. I don't believe it. 184 00:12:53,603 --> 00:12:56,443 Er...do you mind not calling me that? 185 00:12:56,483 --> 00:12:58,483 So...er...how are you? 186 00:12:58,883 --> 00:13:01,603 You're looking great! Really? 187 00:13:01,643 --> 00:13:04,323 You here with your family? I'm here with my son. 188 00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:06,363 Right. Married? 189 00:13:06,403 --> 00:13:09,403 Separated. Oh, I'm sorry. 190 00:13:09,443 --> 00:13:11,443 I'm not! 191 00:13:12,363 --> 00:13:14,483 Working? I work in the building game. 192 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:18,003 You're in construction? You're joking! 193 00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:21,283 I'm in property development, as you can see. 194 00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:27,763 Listen, Clive...I've got something you might be interested in. 195 00:13:27,803 --> 00:13:29,803 Have you? Yeah. 196 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:32,283 We could chat about it if you've got some time. 197 00:13:32,323 --> 00:13:34,323 Yeah, maybe over a few drinks. 198 00:13:35,363 --> 00:13:40,403 How about a couple of jugs...of sangria? 199 00:13:41,163 --> 00:13:43,163 Sounds good. Sounds good. 200 00:13:44,003 --> 00:13:48,243 What is it? Well, it's a kind of fruit punch made out of red wine. 201 00:13:48,283 --> 00:13:51,123 No, what is it you wanted to chat about? 202 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,163 Oh, right! 203 00:13:53,923 --> 00:13:58,203 Well, we've got these villas, bank repossessions. 204 00:13:58,243 --> 00:14:00,723 Now, they're no good for your average punter, 205 00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:04,683 but for someone like you, who knows what they're doing, they're a steal. 206 00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:07,683 Now, I don't know if you're in a position to buy, 207 00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,723 but they're worth a look at. 208 00:14:10,123 --> 00:14:13,643 Where are they. They're in Finestrat. Ten minutes away in a car. 209 00:14:14,123 --> 00:14:16,123 Lead the way. 210 00:14:16,683 --> 00:14:20,003 I always knew Specky Clive would make something of himself. 211 00:14:20,243 --> 00:14:23,363 Yeah? Yeah. 212 00:14:23,403 --> 00:14:25,403 Come on. 213 00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:34,483 Right, that's it. I've done four wash and blow drys and that's me done for the day. 214 00:14:34,523 --> 00:14:37,043 Did you bring me any cigs? Did you not hear me? 215 00:14:37,083 --> 00:14:40,963 Did you not hear me? I'm gasping here! I said I'm not doing any more work today. 216 00:14:41,003 --> 00:14:43,003 Oh, I don't believe you, love. 217 00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:46,443 Gorgeous day today. Kenneth, this is no way to run a business. 218 00:14:48,123 --> 00:14:51,563 Have you not been to bed yet? My head is banging! 219 00:14:51,603 --> 00:14:54,883 Last time I saw you, you were in a taxi on the way to the Peppermint Lounge. 220 00:14:54,923 --> 00:14:59,803 Oh, please! I prefer to learn about my socialising in the society columns of the local press. 221 00:14:59,843 --> 00:15:01,843 Liam, three cocktails, love. 222 00:15:01,989 --> 00:15:03,989 We can't run a business like this. 223 00:15:05,349 --> 00:15:07,349 What's wrong with him? No idea. 224 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,669 I'm warning you, keep your nose clean while you're here. 225 00:15:11,709 --> 00:15:14,469 Oh, come on, Auntie Janey, you don't believe them, do you? 226 00:15:14,509 --> 00:15:16,629 How long have I known you? All my life. 227 00:15:16,669 --> 00:15:19,429 Yeah, so don't try and shit a shitter. 228 00:15:19,469 --> 00:15:22,069 I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you. 229 00:15:22,109 --> 00:15:25,469 So why'd you give me the job? Because you're family and we stick together. 230 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:30,909 Right, off you go. Oh, Jason, give that to Temple-Savage, will you? 231 00:15:30,949 --> 00:15:32,949 I forgot. What is it? 232 00:15:32,989 --> 00:15:34,989 A shepherd's pie. 233 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,469 It's a letter dick head! 234 00:15:38,509 --> 00:15:41,829 Are you sure your mother didn't drop you on your head when you were a kid? 235 00:15:41,869 --> 00:15:45,349 What's it about? What do you think I am? The man with X-ray eyes? 236 00:15:46,149 --> 00:15:48,149 Hey, what are you doing? 237 00:15:49,509 --> 00:15:51,509 It's from the Luxor Spa And Resort. 238 00:15:52,709 --> 00:15:55,309 I've heard of that. It's up in Altea Hills. 239 00:15:55,349 --> 00:15:57,349 It's five-star. 240 00:15:57,389 --> 00:16:01,629 "Knowing the amazing job you have done turning around the fortunes of the Solana, 241 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,669 we would therefore love to meet you 242 00:16:03,709 --> 00:16:09,029 with a view to offering the position of hotel manager of the Luxor Spa And Resort." 243 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:12,549 The jammy cow! "We would therefore love to meet you." 244 00:16:13,629 --> 00:16:16,469 They've never met her. They don't even know what she looks like. 245 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:20,669 So? So, you roll up, say they got the name wrong, 246 00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:26,189 Temple-Savage got the boot ages ago and it's you who saved the Solana. 247 00:16:26,229 --> 00:16:28,229 Oh! 248 00:16:28,269 --> 00:16:31,669 Shut the door on the way out, son. I've got a phone call to make. 249 00:16:34,229 --> 00:16:38,189 And then, the day Ionela's father came out of prison, 250 00:16:39,269 --> 00:16:41,269 her mother died. 251 00:16:41,309 --> 00:16:43,309 On the same day? Same day. 252 00:16:45,789 --> 00:16:49,109 He couldn't get work with a criminal record, 253 00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:52,589 so that's when she was put up for adoption. 254 00:16:54,189 --> 00:16:57,189 So, you see, Mam, we're not all that different, are we? 255 00:17:00,949 --> 00:17:02,949 I don't know what you mean. 256 00:17:03,949 --> 00:17:05,949 Come on, Mam. I do know. 257 00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,589 You do? Of course I do. 258 00:17:10,629 --> 00:17:12,629 I've always known. 259 00:17:13,789 --> 00:17:15,789 Really? Yeah, really. 260 00:17:17,109 --> 00:17:19,109 How did you find out? 261 00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:21,989 Auntie Doreen told me years ago. 262 00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:25,829 No big deal. 263 00:17:26,749 --> 00:17:29,389 Of course it's a big deal! 264 00:17:30,269 --> 00:17:32,269 I wanted to tell you, well... 265 00:17:32,309 --> 00:17:36,989 when you were older, and then all of a sudden, you were older 266 00:17:37,789 --> 00:17:39,789 and, well... 267 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,909 I'm so sorry, son. 268 00:17:43,949 --> 00:17:45,949 Don't be daft. 269 00:17:45,989 --> 00:17:47,989 Hey, you're still the same person. 270 00:17:48,829 --> 00:17:50,829 You're still me mam. 271 00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,189 I don't know what to say, son. 272 00:17:53,229 --> 00:17:55,789 What can you say? Shit happens. 273 00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:00,709 We'd been trying for a baby for years, 274 00:18:00,749 --> 00:18:05,789 and it didn't look as though anything was going to happen 275 00:18:05,829 --> 00:18:08,709 and time was running out, son. 276 00:18:09,309 --> 00:18:12,829 And the ironic thing is 277 00:18:12,869 --> 00:18:16,669 that six months after we adopted you 278 00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:19,389 I fell pregnant with Pauline. 279 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:24,469 What? 280 00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:29,229 I said, after all the rigmarole, of - 281 00:18:36,469 --> 00:18:39,549 That's not what you were talking about, is it? 282 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,589 No, I was... 283 00:18:46,629 --> 00:18:49,149 I was talking about you having been in prison. 284 00:18:49,989 --> 00:18:52,549 Prison? I've never been in prison. 285 00:18:53,469 --> 00:18:57,589 Auntie Doreen said you had. She must have got it wrong. 286 00:18:59,269 --> 00:19:03,349 Me and your father were given a suspended sentence 287 00:19:03,389 --> 00:19:06,789 for taking the Christmas club money. 288 00:19:07,789 --> 00:19:11,909 Except I knew nothing about it. It was your fa- 289 00:19:20,629 --> 00:19:22,629 It was your father. 290 00:19:29,109 --> 00:19:31,109 I'm so sorry. 291 00:19:50,109 --> 00:19:55,349 I should probably warn you about my business partner, Monty. He's proper old-school. 292 00:19:55,389 --> 00:19:57,909 He'll probably try and give you the hard sell, 293 00:19:57,949 --> 00:20:01,869 but don't worry though, I'll tell him you're here as a friend. 294 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,909 Oh! 295 00:20:03,949 --> 00:20:05,949 That's him now. 296 00:20:06,909 --> 00:20:10,429 Yeah? I'm outside. Keep your hair on, will you? 297 00:20:11,749 --> 00:20:13,749 Yeah. 298 00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:17,069 Yeah. 299 00:20:18,949 --> 00:20:22,229 Can you hear me? Yeah, we've hit the jackpot with this one. 300 00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:24,869 I used to go to school with him. Complete idiot. 301 00:20:26,149 --> 00:20:28,149 Yeah, and he's got money. 302 00:20:43,629 --> 00:20:48,029 Is that another ice cream? You've only just finished one. 303 00:20:48,709 --> 00:20:50,709 So what? I'm on my holidays. 304 00:20:51,869 --> 00:20:54,109 It's never quite the same, a second ice cream, 305 00:20:54,149 --> 00:20:56,709 like a second cup of tea - just takes the edge off it. 306 00:20:56,749 --> 00:20:59,069 You should have put a flake in it like the first one. 307 00:20:59,109 --> 00:21:01,109 Don't be ridiculous! I'm not a pig! 308 00:21:02,669 --> 00:21:04,669 Where did my dad go again? 309 00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:08,469 He's gone to buy something for his laptop or something, but you know what he's like. 310 00:21:08,509 --> 00:21:10,749 He'll probably come back with a brand new car. 311 00:21:10,789 --> 00:21:12,789 I don't think so. 312 00:21:12,829 --> 00:21:14,949 He's stupid, but he's not THAT stupid. 313 00:21:17,029 --> 00:21:22,269 Ah, Monty, this is Clive, an old school friend, now a construction tycoon. 314 00:21:22,309 --> 00:21:26,189 I wouldn't go that far. Montgomery Evans. Welcome to paradise 315 00:21:26,229 --> 00:21:28,229 Yeah, it looks like it. 316 00:21:28,269 --> 00:21:30,269 Oh, don't be fooled, my friend. 317 00:21:30,309 --> 00:21:34,589 This is a goldmine for the right buyer, but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that. Shall we? 318 00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:44,669 What? Nothing. 319 00:21:45,109 --> 00:21:49,989 It's just sad to see a beautiful woman to bring her own drinks, ignored by her fiance this way. 320 00:21:50,029 --> 00:21:52,029 My fiance is an important man. 321 00:21:52,069 --> 00:21:54,069 He's out on business. For sure. 322 00:21:54,109 --> 00:21:56,189 What business does this guy have? 323 00:21:56,229 --> 00:21:58,229 He comes here on holiday with his mother. 324 00:21:58,269 --> 00:22:00,869 You do not know about business, but how can you? 325 00:22:00,909 --> 00:22:04,909 You are just a barman. Hey, I have been here many years. 326 00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:06,949 I come when I want and I go when I want. 327 00:22:06,989 --> 00:22:08,989 I am my own boss. 328 00:22:09,029 --> 00:22:11,869 Mateo, get those empty crates shifted. 329 00:22:11,909 --> 00:22:14,229 And give this bar a wipe down. It's filthy! 330 00:22:15,429 --> 00:22:17,429 Do it yourself. I answer to no man. 331 00:22:18,989 --> 00:22:21,989 Actually, you answer to one man - me. 332 00:22:22,029 --> 00:22:24,709 Janey made me bar manager. Remember? 333 00:22:28,549 --> 00:22:31,629 And give this shirt a wash. I've worked up quite a sweat. 334 00:22:32,869 --> 00:22:37,229 Madame, if you'd like to take your seat, I'll bring your drink to you. 335 00:22:46,426 --> 00:22:48,426 I think I should eat something. 336 00:22:48,465 --> 00:22:50,465 Yeah. You'll waste away. 337 00:22:51,465 --> 00:22:53,545 I didn't eat anything all yesterday. 338 00:22:53,585 --> 00:22:58,185 Oh, apart from that donner meat pizza from Ariano's at 5:00am this morning. Did I? 339 00:22:58,225 --> 00:23:02,105 Yeah. You took a picture of it and sent it to everyone in your phonebook. Really? 340 00:23:02,145 --> 00:23:05,065 Oh, I must stop doing that. It's costing me a fortune. 341 00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:10,425 Oh, he's looking at you again, the good-looking one. 342 00:23:10,465 --> 00:23:12,545 Well, tell him to buy me a drink first. 343 00:23:12,585 --> 00:23:15,865 I'm not the slag my hot pants would suggest. Not you. Annie. 344 00:23:22,225 --> 00:23:24,225 I'm looking for a man, not a boy. 345 00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:28,105 Right on cue. 346 00:23:30,745 --> 00:23:32,745 Allow me. 347 00:23:42,065 --> 00:23:45,625 And if you need anything else, just let me know. 348 00:23:57,505 --> 00:23:59,705 Looks like you got the pick of the bunch. 349 00:23:59,745 --> 00:24:01,745 What can I say? 350 00:24:01,785 --> 00:24:06,225 Look up the word irresistible in the dictionary and you'll see two words: Kenneth du Beke. 351 00:24:11,985 --> 00:24:14,305 It seems like a lot of work on the face of it, 352 00:24:14,345 --> 00:24:17,825 but basically it's just snagging for a man of your experience. 353 00:24:17,865 --> 00:24:19,865 Snagging? You've got no walls. 354 00:24:19,905 --> 00:24:22,905 Oh, no walls, no roof, 355 00:24:22,945 --> 00:24:26,425 no electricity, no plumbing, 356 00:24:26,705 --> 00:24:30,985 no pool, but if you've got the resources to finish this place, 357 00:24:31,025 --> 00:24:35,625 you've got a three-bedroom villa with mountain views for 120,000. 358 00:24:35,665 --> 00:24:37,785 And that's supposed to be cheap, is it? 359 00:24:37,825 --> 00:24:40,105 Well, you pay more than that for the land! 360 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,345 Or we give it to Clive for the cost price. 361 00:24:43,745 --> 00:24:47,905 Sorry, Melanie, just for a moment, I thought you said the cost price. 362 00:24:47,945 --> 00:24:49,945 Well, we've got to do something! 363 00:24:49,985 --> 00:24:51,985 Well, call me a traditionalist, 364 00:24:52,025 --> 00:24:55,945 but I do have a soft spot for making something we used to have in the '80s. 365 00:24:55,985 --> 00:24:57,985 It's called a profit. 366 00:24:58,025 --> 00:25:00,305 Well, we could look at it as a loss leader. 367 00:25:00,345 --> 00:25:04,385 You can call it what you like, Melanie, but you know what my wife and kids are like, 368 00:25:04,425 --> 00:25:10,145 always crying out for luxuries, like food and shoes. What's the cost price? 369 00:25:10,185 --> 00:25:12,185 60,000 euros. 90,000 - 370 00:25:12,225 --> 00:25:15,025 Melanie, have you completely lost your tiny mind? 371 00:25:15,385 --> 00:25:17,985 I told you, Clive's an old mate. 372 00:25:18,025 --> 00:25:23,345 Well, why don't we throw in my 4x4 as well? If you hold my jacket, I'll give him the shirt off my back. 373 00:25:23,385 --> 00:25:25,465 Look, I'm going to be honest with you. 374 00:25:25,505 --> 00:25:29,505 We're in deep trouble. Instead of selling these on behalf of the bank, we bought the lot. 375 00:25:29,545 --> 00:25:32,505 Now, we got them for a ridiculous price, but we can't shift them. 376 00:25:32,545 --> 00:25:36,425 We just need one finished, and then I know we'll be fighting people off. 377 00:25:36,465 --> 00:25:39,945 Melanie, how many times have I got to say this? 378 00:25:39,985 --> 00:25:41,985 We cannot sell houses for no profit. 379 00:25:42,025 --> 00:25:45,825 I'll forfeit any of my profit on all future house sales. 380 00:25:45,865 --> 00:25:50,625 I want out, Monty! I can't sleep at night, and this is the only way forward. 381 00:25:50,665 --> 00:25:55,785 60,000. If you spend 20,000 on it, there's still 100 grand in it for you, minimum. 382 00:25:55,825 --> 00:25:57,945 I'll do all the marketing to sell it. 383 00:26:02,225 --> 00:26:04,225 Let me have another look around. 384 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:22,265 Jacqueline, I'm looking for a personal hot spot. 385 00:26:22,305 --> 00:26:24,305 Oh, yeah? 386 00:26:24,345 --> 00:26:28,705 There's one called BigMan32. I'm trying to figure out where it is. 387 00:26:28,745 --> 00:26:30,745 It's not in the old town, is it? 388 00:26:30,785 --> 00:26:32,785 No. It has to be here somewhere. 389 00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:34,825 BigMan32. 390 00:26:35,105 --> 00:26:38,505 It must be someone within touching distance, 391 00:26:38,545 --> 00:26:41,425 but I can't approach every big man in his early 30s. 392 00:26:41,465 --> 00:26:43,465 No. You'd be at it all day! 393 00:26:43,505 --> 00:26:48,425 Unfortunately, gone are the times when you could piggyback without people knowing. 394 00:26:48,465 --> 00:26:52,185 They all use passwords now. Do they? Oh, yeah. 395 00:26:52,345 --> 00:26:54,505 What about that fella over there? 396 00:26:54,545 --> 00:26:56,545 Hmm... A possibility. 397 00:26:56,585 --> 00:26:59,745 Do you think he fits the description of a big man? 398 00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:02,505 I can't tell. He's lying on his front. 399 00:27:03,425 --> 00:27:07,665 Hmm... The problem is I feel embarrassed asking him for a connection. 400 00:27:07,705 --> 00:27:10,865 Oh, I could ask him for you. No. 401 00:27:10,905 --> 00:27:13,905 I've never found it easy to solicit strangers. 402 00:27:13,945 --> 00:27:18,065 I'll wait. If that chap brings you a dongle, perhaps I could use it first. 403 00:27:18,105 --> 00:27:22,465 As long as you give it a good rinse when you're finished with it. 404 00:27:22,505 --> 00:27:24,505 Of course. 405 00:27:29,305 --> 00:27:34,825 This one secures the sale and agrees to pay us the £5,000 deposit within three days. 406 00:27:34,865 --> 00:27:38,945 That shouldn't be a problem. I'll do an on-line transfer this afternoon, 407 00:27:38,985 --> 00:27:41,065 as soon as I get a dongle for my laptop. 408 00:27:42,825 --> 00:27:48,265 It also states you have full access to the house from tomorrow morning for the purpose of repairs. Right. 409 00:27:48,305 --> 00:27:50,705 What about those jugs? 410 00:27:52,185 --> 00:27:55,705 I'm sorry. The contract only covers access to the house. What? 411 00:27:55,745 --> 00:27:59,465 Clive and I were going to have a bit of a catch up over a sangria or two. 412 00:28:00,305 --> 00:28:02,865 Oh! I see! 413 00:28:03,305 --> 00:28:07,505 Well, it's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr Dyke, a genuine pleasure. 414 00:28:08,025 --> 00:28:12,225 I'll give you a full debriefing on the property in the car on the way back to Benidorm. 415 00:28:12,265 --> 00:28:16,065 Can I borrow your tape measure? I'm going to have one last look round. 416 00:28:16,105 --> 00:28:18,505 Consider it a housewarming gift. 417 00:28:19,425 --> 00:28:22,025 I'll be waiting for you in the car. No worries. 418 00:28:26,825 --> 00:28:30,465 Yes! Five grand! Look, shut up. He'll hear you. 419 00:28:30,505 --> 00:28:32,505 Oh, God! You're brilliant! 420 00:28:33,785 --> 00:28:38,465 Don't you be long, and make sure he keeps his hands to himself. Oh, please! You're joking! 421 00:28:38,505 --> 00:28:42,465 I reckon we can squeeze another ten grand out of him before he finds out it's worthless. 422 00:28:42,505 --> 00:28:44,505 Another ten grand? Oh, yeah. 423 00:28:45,585 --> 00:28:48,505 No buffet at Mr Wu's for us tonight. 424 00:28:48,545 --> 00:28:51,225 We are going a la carte at the China garden. 425 00:28:51,265 --> 00:28:54,705 Seriously? Oh, yeah. Chips and rice for us tonight, Melanie. 426 00:28:54,745 --> 00:28:57,185 Chips AND rice! Ooh! 427 00:29:23,665 --> 00:29:25,665 I can't believe you lied. 428 00:29:25,705 --> 00:29:29,025 I never lied. I just didn't tell you. 429 00:29:29,785 --> 00:29:35,905 I suppose I thought if you found out, you'd want to try and find your real mum, 430 00:29:35,945 --> 00:29:37,945 and then I thought I might lose you. 431 00:29:38,705 --> 00:29:41,265 And you mean everything to me. 432 00:29:41,785 --> 00:29:45,665 No! I mean about you having no food. 433 00:29:46,985 --> 00:29:48,985 I told you to double-check your bag. 434 00:29:49,025 --> 00:29:51,905 Meanwhile, we're both sitting here, wasting away. 435 00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:59,585 Well, I don't think a mini pack of.. Porky Pretzels would make a lot of difference. 436 00:30:01,345 --> 00:30:05,865 "A unique taste explosion of New York pretzel and prime pork scratching." 437 00:30:07,225 --> 00:30:09,225 They sound disgusting. 438 00:30:11,105 --> 00:30:13,105 What are you doing?! 439 00:30:22,105 --> 00:30:24,105 I'm sorry, son. 440 00:30:27,745 --> 00:30:29,945 You only did what you thought was right. 441 00:30:30,945 --> 00:30:35,905 Sometimes the severity of a situation doesn't hit you till much later. 442 00:30:37,265 --> 00:30:41,025 I was talking about pork scratchings. 443 00:30:42,505 --> 00:30:44,505 So was I. 444 00:30:48,665 --> 00:30:51,625 I love you, son. 445 00:30:52,505 --> 00:30:54,505 My son. 446 00:30:54,545 --> 00:30:56,785 I love you too, Mam. 447 00:31:02,705 --> 00:31:07,265 Now, how are we going to get out of here? 448 00:31:08,385 --> 00:31:13,585 Well, some situations call for dignity and patience. 449 00:31:14,305 --> 00:31:19,225 Others require two grown adults to scream like scalded cats. 450 00:31:21,305 --> 00:31:23,305 After three? 451 00:31:23,345 --> 00:31:26,945 One, two, three. 452 00:31:28,305 --> 00:31:32,385 Help! Help! 453 00:31:32,785 --> 00:31:34,785 Help! Hola? 454 00:31:34,825 --> 00:31:41,065 Mum, mum... 455 00:31:41,105 --> 00:31:43,865 Oh, salvation! 456 00:31:50,225 --> 00:31:54,545 Hey...maybe today was meant to happen. 457 00:31:55,585 --> 00:31:59,985 I mean, if the lift hadn't stopped, you might never have told me. 458 00:32:00,025 --> 00:32:06,225 I always felt sure something would happen to make me tell you eventually. 459 00:32:07,225 --> 00:32:11,905 A long-lost relative on the doorstep or a knackered kidney. 460 00:32:13,185 --> 00:32:15,185 I hadn't thought of that. 461 00:32:16,905 --> 00:32:19,225 I don't mind you looking for your real mum. 462 00:32:20,185 --> 00:32:23,745 I'll help you to do it, son, if that's what you want. 463 00:32:24,425 --> 00:32:29,425 But it isn't, Mam. For now, all I want to do is get out of here and get some dinner. 464 00:32:30,825 --> 00:32:32,825 And after that, well... 465 00:32:34,585 --> 00:32:37,185 You're my mam, nobody else. 466 00:32:41,265 --> 00:32:44,825 And I'm sorry for what I said about Rubella. 467 00:32:46,345 --> 00:32:49,545 I'm not. I think you've got a point though. 468 00:32:50,745 --> 00:32:52,745 Really? Yeah. 469 00:32:54,505 --> 00:32:56,625 All this talk about marriage and kids. 470 00:32:57,865 --> 00:33:03,385 Sometimes, you've got to stand still for a long time before you realise you're moving too fast. 471 00:33:13,185 --> 00:33:16,505 Oh, sorry, mate. I didn't have a chance to get your dongle. 472 00:33:16,545 --> 00:33:19,985 I ended up going to the Internet cafe across the road. 473 00:33:20,025 --> 00:33:24,705 No fear, my friend. I made alternative arrangements with BigMan32. 474 00:33:24,745 --> 00:33:30,105 Oh, yeah? He's paired for unlimited access to his hotspot. 475 00:33:31,585 --> 00:33:33,585 I'll leave you to it, I think. 476 00:33:38,545 --> 00:33:41,305 Buenas tardes, as we say in Espana. 477 00:33:41,345 --> 00:33:44,625 Where have you been? Did you get the Internet sorted? 478 00:33:44,665 --> 00:33:46,665 I got more than that. 479 00:33:46,705 --> 00:33:48,705 Holiday home. 480 00:33:48,745 --> 00:33:51,385 What do you think? Ooh, lovely! 481 00:33:52,505 --> 00:33:55,985 Oh, don't tell me you want one? Want one? I just bought one. 482 00:33:56,025 --> 00:33:59,505 What?! Well, I put a deposit down on one anyway. 483 00:33:59,545 --> 00:34:02,225 So, what do you think? Amazing! 484 00:34:02,265 --> 00:34:04,265 Have you spoken to Mum about it? 485 00:34:04,305 --> 00:34:08,225 No. This was an executive decision. 486 00:34:08,265 --> 00:34:10,545 I tend to do those on my own. 487 00:34:13,425 --> 00:34:16,225 If you're waiting for a tip, you'll be standing there a while. 488 00:34:16,265 --> 00:34:18,665 I don't want a tip, but I'll give you one. 489 00:34:18,705 --> 00:34:23,105 That's that unfinished urbanisation up near Finestrat, isn't it? 490 00:34:23,145 --> 00:34:26,705 Yeah, that's the one. You bought an 'ouse that isn't finished? 491 00:34:26,745 --> 00:34:31,385 I don't expect you'll remember, son, but actually, I'm a builder. 492 00:34:31,425 --> 00:34:34,145 You'll need more than a builder for this one, pal. 493 00:34:34,185 --> 00:34:37,625 More like a solicitor. This one is a disaster zone. 494 00:34:37,665 --> 00:34:40,585 I saw it on the DIY SOS Spanish Special. 495 00:34:40,625 --> 00:34:45,265 No planning permission. It's been all over the local news for the past year. 496 00:34:49,425 --> 00:34:52,705 Oh, good luck in getting that deposit back. 497 00:34:52,745 --> 00:34:54,745 Hooh-hooh! 498 00:34:58,585 --> 00:35:02,465 499 00:35:02,505 --> 00:35:05,585 500 00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,585 501 00:35:07,625 --> 00:35:09,505 502 00:35:09,545 --> 00:35:11,305 503 00:35:11,345 --> 00:35:12,665 504 00:35:12,705 --> 00:35:14,865 505 00:35:14,905 --> 00:35:18,225 506 00:35:19,065 --> 00:35:22,745 ♪ I beg you, don't make me dream alone ♪ 507 00:35:30,345 --> 00:35:32,665 Thank you, Tiger, there with Dream Lover. 508 00:35:33,505 --> 00:35:36,265 Now, back by popular demand, 509 00:35:36,305 --> 00:35:42,705 Benidorm's very own Leroy C and his Motown Memories! Wooh! 510 00:35:48,825 --> 00:35:50,825 You were great! 511 00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:58,185 feel the way that you do 512 00:35:58,225 --> 00:35:59,825 ♪ You're all right ♪ 513 00:35:59,865 --> 00:36:02,665 Where's my dad? He went to make a phone call. 514 00:36:04,385 --> 00:36:06,825 I don't think I'm making myself clear. 515 00:36:06,865 --> 00:36:12,065 I understand you have reservations, but you have signed a legally binding contract. 516 00:36:12,105 --> 00:36:15,225 Yeah, for a place that's built on land you don't own. 517 00:36:15,265 --> 00:36:18,785 It's all over the Internet. You've got no planning permission. 518 00:36:18,825 --> 00:36:24,545 Er...Mr Dyke, you have my word that this small discrepancy will all blow over. 519 00:36:24,585 --> 00:36:29,625 Blow over?! You don't own the land your houses are built on. 520 00:36:29,665 --> 00:36:32,625 You're not familiar with Spanish law, are you, Mr Dyke? 521 00:36:32,665 --> 00:36:37,305 A small minor detail like this will all be sorted within a year or two. 522 00:36:37,345 --> 00:36:39,585 A year or two?! Don't worry. 523 00:36:39,625 --> 00:36:41,625 It's not all bad news. 524 00:36:41,665 --> 00:36:46,705 Your £5,000 deposit hit our account this afternoon, so your holiday home in the sun is secured. 525 00:36:46,745 --> 00:36:52,225 The only thing that's going to be secure are my hands around your bleeding neck. 526 00:36:53,425 --> 00:36:56,265 Hello? Er...you're breaking up. 527 00:36:56,305 --> 00:37:01,025 I'm going to be at that shit-tip of a building site of yours at 10:00 tomorrow morning, 528 00:37:01,065 --> 00:37:03,065 and if you ain't there... 529 00:37:03,105 --> 00:37:05,425 Mr Dyke, I can't hear a word you're saying. 530 00:37:05,465 --> 00:37:10,305 I'm currently driving down to Alicante for dinner with some friends 531 00:37:10,345 --> 00:37:13,145 and the signal is very bad. 532 00:37:13,185 --> 00:37:15,745 Hello? Hello! Hello! 533 00:37:15,785 --> 00:37:17,785 Hello? Hello- 534 00:37:19,025 --> 00:37:21,025 Bastard! 535 00:37:23,905 --> 00:37:25,905 Sorry, not you. 536 00:37:27,890 --> 00:37:31,210 with my love 537 00:37:31,245 --> 00:37:34,165 538 00:37:35,205 --> 00:37:39,765 ♪ But the lovin' you're gonna miss and the time it takes to find you ♪ 539 00:37:40,477 --> 00:37:42,477 That's it. It's all sorted. 540 00:37:42,517 --> 00:37:45,597 The deal's done. The Luxor have checked my references. 541 00:37:45,637 --> 00:37:49,757 The job's mine, and we start on Wednesday. Amazing! 542 00:37:49,797 --> 00:37:54,677 Oh, and there's a suite in your name from tonight until they sort out our accommodation. 543 00:37:55,397 --> 00:37:57,397 Thanks, Auntie Janey. Oh... 544 00:37:57,437 --> 00:37:59,717 Hey, have you handed in your notice here? 545 00:37:59,757 --> 00:38:01,757 I've left Hennessy-Vass a message. 546 00:38:01,797 --> 00:38:06,997 The amount of money she was paying me, she's lucky she had me working here for as long as she did. 547 00:38:07,037 --> 00:38:10,117 I'm going to put that poor cow out of her misery. Come on. 548 00:38:10,157 --> 00:38:14,197 Oi! We're off. I beg your pardon? 549 00:38:14,237 --> 00:38:16,237 It's not working out for me here. 550 00:38:17,517 --> 00:38:22,357 I'm sorry. Your horrible accent aside, I still have no idea what you're talking about. 551 00:38:22,397 --> 00:38:26,237 I've got another job. Me and Jason are leaving. 552 00:38:26,277 --> 00:38:28,277 You can't just leave! 553 00:38:28,317 --> 00:38:33,637 Are you ready? I'm going to Jumping Jack's for a celebratory drink. Are you coming? 554 00:38:33,677 --> 00:38:36,797 Maybe in a bit. I'm just in the middle of something. 555 00:38:36,837 --> 00:38:38,917 All right. Well, don't hang around too much. 556 00:38:38,957 --> 00:38:42,757 For someone who's just got her job back, she's not taking it too well. 557 00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:50,637 Sorry about that. Just a bit of business about a five-star hotel in Altea I'm involved with. 558 00:38:51,317 --> 00:38:53,397 Right, where were we? 559 00:38:53,437 --> 00:38:55,637 I was saying my fiance will be back soon. 560 00:38:56,837 --> 00:38:59,437 Oh, yeah. Where's he gone again? 561 00:38:59,477 --> 00:39:02,917 I'm not sure. He has been out all the day. 562 00:39:02,957 --> 00:39:07,397 Well, I'll just have to look after you until he gets back, then. 563 00:39:11,957 --> 00:39:13,957 You missed me singing! 564 00:39:14,837 --> 00:39:17,277 What can I say? I'll get over it. 565 00:39:17,317 --> 00:39:19,357 Oi! There's no need to be like that! 566 00:39:19,397 --> 00:39:21,997 It ain't his fault you bought a house built out of Lego. 567 00:39:22,037 --> 00:39:25,237 It's not what it's built out of, it's what it's built on. 568 00:39:27,837 --> 00:39:29,837 Sorry, son. Whatever. 569 00:39:30,277 --> 00:39:32,277 It sounds like you've been stitched up. 570 00:39:32,317 --> 00:39:34,797 Yeah, well, I ain't gonna take it lying down. 571 00:39:34,837 --> 00:39:37,557 What are you going to do? I'm going to sleep on it. 572 00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:40,717 How are you going to sleep on it without lying down? 573 00:39:42,197 --> 00:39:44,197 And you wonder why you're single? 574 00:39:45,757 --> 00:39:49,077 575 00:39:49,117 --> 00:39:53,077 ♪ You can't help, but hear a little music... ♪ 576 00:39:53,357 --> 00:39:56,637 You look like a girl who's used to a bit of five-star luxury. 577 00:39:57,597 --> 00:40:01,237 I do enjoy the finer things in life. Of course you do. 578 00:40:01,277 --> 00:40:03,997 Listen, if your fella doesn't come back tonight, 579 00:40:04,957 --> 00:40:07,877 I'd always find you somewhere in my hotel, the Luxor. 580 00:40:08,517 --> 00:40:11,437 Your hotel? I thought you were a barman? 581 00:40:11,477 --> 00:40:13,477 You're joking, aren't you? 582 00:40:14,437 --> 00:40:17,237 Have you ever heard of that programme, Undercover Boss? 583 00:40:26,957 --> 00:40:29,557 ♪ Come on over to my place ♪ 584 00:40:29,597 --> 00:40:33,277 Geoffrey, where have you been? We've been knocking on your door. 585 00:40:33,957 --> 00:40:37,717 I thought you might have organised a press conference or something to help find us. 586 00:40:37,757 --> 00:40:41,797 Why would I need to do that? You've not seen us since this morning. Remember? 587 00:40:41,837 --> 00:40:45,157 Of course, but it is you who did not call me while you were out. 588 00:40:45,197 --> 00:40:47,197 The lift stuck. I know. 589 00:40:48,397 --> 00:40:50,397 I was the one who told the hotel. 590 00:40:50,437 --> 00:40:54,157 It stuck before we got a chance to get out of it. 591 00:40:54,597 --> 00:40:59,477 What?! You have been in there all this time? 592 00:40:59,517 --> 00:41:01,517 Yeah. Yeah, we have. 593 00:41:02,837 --> 00:41:05,757 Oh, my goodness! Well, where did you think we'd got to? 594 00:41:05,797 --> 00:41:09,197 I thought you must be engaging in important business. 595 00:41:12,277 --> 00:41:14,277 Yeah, about that... 596 00:41:14,357 --> 00:41:16,357 We need to talk. 597 00:41:16,997 --> 00:41:18,997 I'll get us some drinks. 598 00:41:22,597 --> 00:41:25,997 The thing is, I'm not a businessman. 599 00:41:26,637 --> 00:41:28,637 I'm unemployed. At the moment. 600 00:41:30,797 --> 00:41:33,877 What has happened? Something has happened today, yes? 601 00:41:33,917 --> 00:41:36,637 The merger of your company, it did not go through? 602 00:41:37,517 --> 00:41:39,517 Because you were stuck in the lift? 603 00:41:39,557 --> 00:41:41,557 There is no company. 604 00:41:42,717 --> 00:41:44,717 I don't live in a mansion. 605 00:41:47,717 --> 00:41:50,197 You do not have eight bathrooms? 606 00:41:51,357 --> 00:41:54,037 No. I've got one. 607 00:41:54,997 --> 00:41:57,077 And that's not working at the moment. 608 00:41:58,117 --> 00:42:01,077 You have to pull the ballcock up by hand to get a complete flush. 609 00:42:01,117 --> 00:42:04,797 I don't understand. When you want the cistern to fill up with water, you have to - 610 00:42:04,837 --> 00:42:06,837 No, I mean why did you lie? 611 00:42:10,877 --> 00:42:12,877 I just got carried away. 612 00:42:14,357 --> 00:42:19,517 Geoff, none of these things matter when two people are in love. 613 00:42:19,557 --> 00:42:21,557 That's what I think. 614 00:42:22,797 --> 00:42:24,797 And one day, 615 00:42:25,557 --> 00:42:27,557 you will be in love with someone, 616 00:42:27,757 --> 00:42:31,757 and she will not care that you have no job and no money. 617 00:42:31,797 --> 00:42:33,797 Right. 618 00:42:33,837 --> 00:42:38,797 But, Geoffrey, for me, you must understand all of these things are very important. 619 00:42:38,837 --> 00:42:40,837 Yeah, I know they are. 620 00:42:44,877 --> 00:42:46,877 So? 621 00:42:47,397 --> 00:42:49,397 Where does this leave us? 622 00:42:49,437 --> 00:42:51,437 I mean, we're leaving tomorrow. 623 00:42:53,117 --> 00:42:56,637 I will make other arrangements. I can't just leave you here in Benidorm. 624 00:42:56,677 --> 00:43:00,277 You don't know anybody. Please, Geoffrey, do not worry about me. 625 00:43:01,797 --> 00:43:04,317 I will go now and collect my things. Ionela... 626 00:43:05,757 --> 00:43:08,917 I just need to know one thing. 627 00:43:12,277 --> 00:43:15,637 Did you even like me? 628 00:43:20,317 --> 00:43:22,317 Good luck, Geoffrey. 629 00:43:22,997 --> 00:43:24,997 Please understand my decision. 630 00:43:29,877 --> 00:43:33,997 As well as financial security for me, children are also important. 631 00:43:35,357 --> 00:43:37,917 I am sorry about your broken ballcock, Geoffrey, 632 00:43:37,957 --> 00:43:41,037 but at least you are already blessed with a family. 633 00:43:43,117 --> 00:43:45,117 Yeah, you got that right. 634 00:43:55,317 --> 00:43:57,317 Are you OK, son? 635 00:43:58,837 --> 00:44:00,837 What did she have to say? 636 00:44:02,637 --> 00:44:06,957 You were right. She's not the one for me. 637 00:44:23,557 --> 00:44:27,477 I'm sorry, son. I know. 638 00:44:29,997 --> 00:44:32,997 It's been quite a holiday, hasn't it? 639 00:44:34,757 --> 00:44:36,757 I think I'm ready to go home. 640 00:44:38,997 --> 00:44:40,997 Yeah. Me too. 641 00:44:42,957 --> 00:44:46,437 Before we do that, do you mind if I ask you something? 642 00:44:46,477 --> 00:44:48,477 You can ask me anything, son, 643 00:44:49,837 --> 00:44:54,757 and I promise, from now on, I'll always give you an honest answer. 644 00:44:57,437 --> 00:44:59,437 Do you want to dance? 645 00:45:23,357 --> 00:45:25,357 She's not my PA. 646 00:45:25,997 --> 00:45:27,997 She's my mam.