1 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,478 Ugh. 2 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,472 Ugh. 3 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,313 Tiger? 4 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,311 It's your dad. 5 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,631 I slept in. Uh, I'll see you downstairs. 6 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,313 Don't come to the room, 7 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,039 there's been an accident. 8 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,469 Erm... 9 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,551 I mean, just a spillage. 10 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,992 I'll see you down by the pool. 11 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,633 Hello, darlin'? I think you'd better wake up. 12 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,749 They wanna clean the room and I'm leaving today, so... 13 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,189 Ahhh! 14 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:28,429 What's wrong with you? 15 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,670 - I thought you were... - You thought I was what? 16 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,917 Why are you dressed like that? Have you lost your mind? 17 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,553 Why are you dressed like that? 18 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:37,949 Oh, my God! 19 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,590 You forgot about everything and you thought you'd scored! 20 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,830 Shut up! Look at the state of ya. 21 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,115 Don't you remember the fancy-dress party we crashed? 22 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:47,789 No, I don't. 23 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,471 Why didn't you sleep in your own room? 24 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:51,834 Couldn't find my key. 25 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,669 I must have left it in me handbag. Come here, give me a kiss. 26 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,432 Get out of it. 27 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,636 - Go down and get another key. - All right. 28 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,629 - See ya downstairs. - Yeah, right. 29 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,149 How! 30 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,317 Get out of it! 31 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,631 What are you both doing in here? 32 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,714 Well, I'm riding a bike and she's baking a cake. 33 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,473 Janice, he knows what I mean, tell him. 34 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,232 Tell him what? I don't know what you're on about. 35 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,349 Buck A. Roo. 36 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,716 No thanks, but I'll have a game of underwater Twister if you go first. 37 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,991 Mr Roo said to meet him in Reception at 11:00. 38 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,195 It's only 10:30. 39 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,829 Oh, come on. Put on a pair of long trousers and get a shave. 40 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,678 Do you mind? That's my wife you're talking to. 41 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,872 Just calm down, Mother, he can come up here and talk to us. 42 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,951 You're gonna show me up, I knew you would. 43 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,395 This man's come all the way from America. 44 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,438 So a walk in here from Reception won't seem that long a journey. 45 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,118 Leave him a message to meet us here. 46 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,397 I will. And when he tells us us all about this inheritance 47 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,232 you lot can go whistle for it. 48 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,675 There is no inheritance. When will you listen? 49 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,109 - It's all a scam. - How could it be a scam? 50 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,236 You met him for yourself last night. 51 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,231 He's a top American lawyer. 52 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,278 I met him for 30 seconds. He could be a dustman from Wigan. 53 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,920 He's got an American accent. 54 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,149 Yeah, so did my Uncle Wally. 55 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,796 He also kept ferrets down his trousers and used to bark at traffic. 56 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,429 Sod the pair of ya! 57 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,516 Hey, hang on! 58 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,033 I've said nothing. Mother! 59 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,109 Ugh! 60 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,636 Oh! Why'd you have to wind her up? 61 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,515 What else is there to do? Hmm? 62 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,156 It's not actually a smokin' room and there's no balcony. 63 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,231 If you just hang your head out the window 64 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,868 and make sure that your tab ends don't fall in the pool, 65 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,599 everything will be hunky-dory. 66 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,509 Uh, Lesley. 67 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,550 This booking for two nights, Mr Buck A. Roo. 68 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,631 He arrived late last night. You didn't check him in, did you? 69 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,153 No. Why? 70 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,192 You don't think there's something slightly odd? 71 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,831 - How do you mean? - Well, the name! 72 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,873 Mr Buck A. Roo, Buckaroo! 73 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,998 What sort of name is that? 74 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,390 Well, it is unusual, but I've got an Irish auntie and she's called 75 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,075 Patty O'Dors. Heh-heh-heh. 76 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,196 I mean, it's just the luck of the draw, isn't it? 77 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,429 And look under Notes. 78 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,918 "Will not be staying second night, room is to freshen up only." 79 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,719 Now, that is strange. Why pay for an extra night 80 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,189 when you can just have a leak and a promise in the bogs. 81 00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:36,909 Well, I wasn't going to put it quite like that but yes, exactly. 82 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,672 Uh, excuse me, can I get a replacement key for Room 601, please? 83 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:42,669 No prob. 84 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,197 And do something about your hair. 85 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,229 Cheeky cow! 86 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,958 There's nothing wrong with my hair young 'un, is there? 87 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,598 Uh, it's better than mine, mate. 88 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,756 "Who said, 'The woman who can look 89 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,593 "'inside herself has true beauty?"' 90 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,549 Sticky Vicky! 91 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,837 Jacqueline, I feel I owe you an apology. 92 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,158 - Apology? - Yes, my conduct last night. 93 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,555 I feel the need to clear the air. 94 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,439 Do you want a drink? 95 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,951 I'm just on the day wine, 'cause it's only early. 96 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,156 No, no, I need a clear head. 97 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,517 Plus it's only ten to eleven. 98 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,799 Do you mind if we go inside? 99 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,836 I find the sun quite bothersome. 100 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,037 Oh, I was just starting to get a tan. 101 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,155 If you don't mind. 102 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,398 I'll get my things together. 103 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,595 I'll see you in Reception. 104 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,872 Oh, just five more minutes. 105 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,755 I'm getting a very strong sense 106 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,036 of a woman in a past life. 107 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,670 - With the letter "B". - Sue. 108 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,149 How many times have I told you, I'm not into all that stuff. 109 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:33,390 A very tall, overpowering woman with, with big hair 110 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,311 and a cleavage that could stop traffic. 111 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,788 No. 112 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:43,352 Oh, she's trying so hard to come through, she's saying, 113 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,398 "It's time for you 114 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,117 "to sort out those photos 115 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,432 "in that shoebox covered in wallpaper." 116 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,395 I don't know any tall, dead women with big hair and even bigger cleavage, 117 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,471 and I don't have any photos in a shoebox. 118 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,635 Now, what do you think of them nails? 119 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,358 Oh, they're lovely! 120 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:05,475 Can I pay at the end of the week? 121 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,392 As usual. 122 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,637 Now, think about what I said. 123 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,234 It might come to you. 124 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:17,032 The great Psychic Sue is never wrong. 125 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,353 Thanks, Sue. 126 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,878 See you at the end of the week. 127 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,312 - See you, Kenneth. - See you, love. 128 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,997 Honestly! Can you believe some people are actually taken in by that rubbish? 129 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,719 That woman she was describing, it's me mother, Brenda. 130 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,349 The letter "B". 131 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,917 Oh, it's probably just a lucky guess. 132 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,797 - What about the photies? - Well, that's even easier. 133 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,519 She was sitting there, watching you lookin' at your photos. 134 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,437 Oh, yeah? 135 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:46,913 How do you explain this, then? 136 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,469 Oh! 137 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,509 Oh! 138 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:58,070 So what we really need, you know, is somewhere private, 139 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,077 where we can talk to this fella. 140 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,479 Maybe you should go to Rag Time. 141 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,629 It is quiet in the morning. 142 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,870 I said, somewhere private. 143 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,993 Don't you have, you know, like conference rooms and that? 144 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,116 People do not come here to make business. 145 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,838 They come to get drunk, eat too much 146 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,229 and burn their piggy skin in the Spanish sun. 147 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,431 He's come all the way from America. 148 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:18,278 We can't sit him in some grotty bar with 149 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,954 that twat on the piano playing The Birdie Dance. 150 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,475 Right! Come on, it's nearly 11:00. 151 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:24,709 We best not keep him waiting. 152 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,995 Yeah, and when we've realised all this is just a con, 153 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,559 I can get back on me sunbed 154 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,757 and that dwarf and his 10-gallon hat can piss off back to where he came from. 155 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,068 Good mornin', y'all! 156 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,270 I hope you slept well. I know I did. 157 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,874 Mornin'. I wasn't talking about you. I... 158 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,878 Oh, that's quite all right, sir, I understand. 159 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,072 You were merely concerned for Mrs Harvey's welfare. 160 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,309 Well, not really. 161 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,909 Oh, please, do call me Madge. 162 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,230 It's just quite an unusual situation. 163 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,993 Well, indeed it is, and I have quite a story to tell you. 164 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,229 Yeah, I bet you do. 165 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,629 Young man! Psst, psst. 166 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,440 We would like a pitcher of lemonade 167 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:02,916 and some olives on that table over there. 168 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,349 Thank you! 169 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,230 Madge, or should I say Mrs Mel Harvey. 170 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,238 If you would like to lead the way? 171 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,475 Yes. 172 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,310 Let's start at the very beginning. 173 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,038 A very good place to start. 174 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,149 Shut up! 175 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,796 I am, as you already know, Mr Buck A. Roo, 176 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,998 one of the leading probate attorneys in the entire state of California. 177 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,957 Even if I say so myself. 178 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,712 What's a prostate attorney? 179 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,349 Probate. 180 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,998 My business is concerned with 181 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,514 administering the estates of the deceased. 182 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:43,914 I don't know what that means. 183 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,989 Works for dead people. 184 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,278 Bit like Mr Meaker off Rentaghost, but with a bigger hat. 185 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,958 This is for you, if any of you want a drink, let me know. 186 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,310 What... What... What is this? 187 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,080 It is what you asked for. "A picture of lemonade." 188 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,834 No a "pitcher". A pitcher of lemonade. 189 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,271 This is a picture of lemonade. 190 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:08,114 No, a pitcher, a decanter, a carafe, a jug. 191 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:11,592 Young man, if this is your idea of a joke, 192 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,717 I'm afraid that sun is way too high in the sky 193 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,711 for messing with your betters. 194 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,989 What is he talking about? 195 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,153 We'll have the same again and he'll have a glass of lemonade. 196 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:22,793 He ask if I make a joke, 197 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,717 and he's the one in fancy dress? 198 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,190 As I was saying, one of my specialised lines of work is 199 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,592 finding those entitled to the estates of their distant relatives. 200 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,479 It has taken me a long time to find you, Mrs Harvey. 201 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,676 But as I said in my letter to you, 202 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:43,515 I have some very good news. 203 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,828 So, you don't want this? 204 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,433 Will you just go away! 205 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,233 Okay, okay. 206 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,429 Ugh! 207 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,195 I do apologise. 208 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,391 I've travelled over 6,000 miles in the last 24 hours. 209 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:59,990 I have taken so many uppers to stay awake. 210 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:04,153 I was practically high-kicking my way through passport control. 211 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,669 I'll get them drinks. 212 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,513 Hey, I'll take them, thanks, pal. 213 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,831 What is wrong with this crazy man? 214 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,036 I don't know, that's what we're trying to find out. 215 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,469 Why does he wear this hat? 216 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,235 He's a VPL? 217 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:31,199 He says he's flown halfway around the world to tell my mother-in-law 218 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,838 she's about to inherit a fortune. 219 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:33,909 And this is true? 220 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,718 Yeah, and I'm Lord Lucan. 221 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,156 There he is, that's him. The one that looks like Boss Fogg 222 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:43,196 from The Dukes of Hazzard. Heh-heh-heh. 223 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,032 I wonder what he's doing here. 224 00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:48,509 Mateo, what's going on over there? 225 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:51,717 The VPL has come to give the family lots of money. 226 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,395 Oh, and he's made one of them a "Lord". 227 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,198 What can I tell you? These are crazy times. 228 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,633 Oh, that's woke me up. 229 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:14,835 Bit fresh, is it? 230 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,274 It's lovely once you're in. 231 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,635 Wish I had a euro for every time I'd said that. 232 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,472 - Eh? - Nothing. 233 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,589 Why don't you give Mum a ring? 234 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,349 Dad? 235 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,598 You just don't get it, do you, son? 236 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:32,869 What? 237 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,078 Look, Tiger, I know it's not a nice thing to hear, 238 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,551 but your mum and I, it's more than just a row. 239 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,276 I think this might be the end of the road for us. 240 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:46,036 Don't be ridiculous. You're just as stubborn as each other. 241 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,312 This break will do you both good. 242 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,716 So you accept that we're not together, then? 243 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,148 We're on a bit of a break. 244 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,196 Yeah, I just said that. I think it's a good thing. 245 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,833 Well, what if, 246 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,390 whilst your mum and I was on this break, 247 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,474 some dolly-bird came along and tried to chat me up. 248 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:02,669 What do I do then? 249 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,313 Yeah, right! 250 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:05,875 Well, thanks, son. 251 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,030 That's done my confidence no end of good. 252 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:31,111 It was Mel's great-great-grandfather Ebenezer Harvey, 253 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,678 who made his fortune in the California Gold Rush of 1848. 254 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:41,195 He kept most his money in his wife's name, Elvira. 255 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,550 He was obviously a brave man. 256 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,198 I take it you're not married. 257 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,157 Oh, my dear, I've been married six times. 258 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,874 I'm beginning to think I'm addicted to wedding cake. 259 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:53,112 Hang on, Mel's name's not on this family tree. 260 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:55,431 Precisely. Miss Garvey, 261 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,313 I've been like a catfish in a cul de sac, 262 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,789 if you'll pardon me mixing my metaphors. 263 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,835 It has taken me a long time, a very long time indeed, 264 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,799 to realise that Mel is the missing link. 265 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,869 Now, hang on a minute. 266 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,872 He might not have won any beauty prizes, but that's a bit strong. 267 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,474 Look, the bloodline ends 268 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,790 with Calvin "Lucky" Harvey, 269 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,278 who died in 1947. What isn't recorded is Melvin. 270 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,870 His son, who he fathered out of wedlock 271 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,271 when he was an American soldier in England during World War II. 272 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,879 So Mel was a bastard? 273 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,188 I said that for years. 274 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,756 Shut up! This is interesting. Unlike you. 275 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,789 Now, Calvin made some very bad investments in his time, 276 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,953 culminating in spending the last of his inheritance 277 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,516 on five acres of worthless desert land. 278 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:53,268 He then died in 1947 at the tender age of 29 279 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,955 from a single bite from a Mexican sidewinder. 280 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,590 29, that's no age at all. 281 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,719 Now, I know what you all are wondering. 282 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,231 What's a Mexican sidewinder? 283 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:05,549 I take that back. 284 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,432 I did not know what you were wondering. It's a type of rattlesnake. 285 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,711 If this desert land was worthless, 286 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,711 then why have you flown from America to England 287 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,837 and then England to Spain in the last 24 hours trying to find Madge? 288 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,959 On the button. But the key word, Mr Garvey, is "was". 289 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:26,034 The desert land Calvin bought was worthless when he bought it. 290 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:30,477 But the name of that desert means a lot more now than it did then. 291 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,718 Las Vegas! 292 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,156 Oh, did you hear that, Mother? 293 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,158 You own five acres of land in Las Vegas. 294 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,873 Five acres upon which a luxury hotel has been built. 295 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,712 Bloody hell, what are we doing sitting here? 296 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,631 Well, now, hold your horses. 297 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,508 Mr Garvey, let's not let the wind blow too much up our petticoats. 298 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,751 We're not talking The Bellagio or Caesars Palace. 299 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:58,868 Plus, Madge does not own the hotel, only the land that it's built upon. 300 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,518 But that's still good, isn't it? 301 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,831 Very good. It's a small hotel by 302 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,713 Vegas standards, but I would estimate, 303 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,996 conservative, ball-park figure? 304 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,519 $30 million. 305 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,037 No. None of this is right. 306 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,270 What do you mean, it's not right? Course it's right. 307 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,277 Janice, tell her it's right. 308 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,318 Mel's father was called Clarence. 309 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,559 He died in 1944 during the Normandy landings. 310 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:39,069 Clarence was not Melvin's biological father. 311 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,149 Eh? 312 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:44,358 Mel changed his name by deed poll in the '60s to Harvey. 313 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,429 Oh! 314 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,239 Makes me think that he knew more about this story 315 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,472 than he was letting on, even though he never spoke about it. 316 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,795 If it was a Mexican rattlesnake, 317 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,071 what was it doing in America? 318 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,916 I am going to leave y'all with some papers to read. 319 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,430 I have to make a few phone calls. 320 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,076 I realise this is an awful lot of information for y'all to take in, 321 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,835 but there is no time like the present. 322 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:16,029 I shall return a little later with a proposed 323 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,198 plan of action. Ladies. 324 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:20,789 Sir. 325 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,196 I'll see y'all presently. 326 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,069 So do you still think it's all a big con? 327 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:33,873 $30 million? 328 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:35,995 Can't be right. 329 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,556 Actually, Mexico's quite near to America, 330 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,438 so maybe it was just lost. 331 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:43,397 You still banging on about that bloody snake? 332 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,469 What do you think, Mam? 333 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,629 What, about the snake? 334 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:46,869 No, about all this. 335 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,599 I don't know what to make of it. 336 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,917 I don't know what to make of any of it. 337 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:52,469 Hola! 338 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,353 Is there anything I can get for you? 339 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:58,434 Drinks? High-quality nibbles? 340 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,239 Maybe a British newspaper? 341 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,000 Sorry about that, I must have nodded off. 342 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,549 Glynn? 343 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,432 Glynn, are you all right? 344 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:38,915 How long have I been here? 345 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,394 Oh, about... 346 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,388 Three hours! Sorry! 347 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,269 Them three glasses of wine knocked me flat out. 348 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,033 Did you fall asleep as well? 349 00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,429 - No, I've been chanting. - Oh. 350 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,909 - I'm a semi-practising Buddhist. - Semi? 351 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,719 Yes, I don't know that much about the religion 352 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,392 but I do enjoy the chanting. 353 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,119 Shall I get us a drink? 354 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,152 No. Please, Jacqueline, sit down, would you? 355 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,110 I want to lay my cards directly on the table. 356 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,672 My wife, Riannon, has always been very... popular. 357 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:14,789 Oh, that's good. 358 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:18,310 No, it isn't good. I don't mean in the social sense. 359 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,234 I mean, well, she's a loose woman. 360 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,479 I think Donald mentioned something about her being able to do the splits. 361 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,279 No, I don't mean... Did he? 362 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:34,954 What I mean to say is, we've had our problems in the past with her... 363 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:36,955 ...wandering eye. 364 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,635 You mean like a lazy eye? 365 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,473 No! I mean she puts it about. 366 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,709 Oh, I see! 367 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,035 And, well, I've always turned a blind eye. 368 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,912 To her wandering eye. 369 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,510 Yes. But it started to get out of control, 370 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,478 so I thought, why not put it out there, in the open. 371 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,232 For everyone to have a go on it. 372 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,471 Yes. No! I mean the subject. 373 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:04,037 So I suggested the swinging thing and she almost bit my hand off. 374 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,159 Then we answered your advert for the wife-swap. 375 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:08,989 And here we are. 376 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:11,799 But if you weren't sure about the wife-swap, 377 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,833 why did you suggest doing it on holiday? 378 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,515 Riannon and I live in a very small town in South Wales, 379 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,832 where you can't fart without it getting into the local press, 380 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,194 if you pardon my French. 381 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,712 Glynn, I just need to know what you want to do. 382 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,991 I think my point is, I've made my bed 383 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,152 now I must lie in it. I'm here for a week, 384 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,078 I'm just going to grit my teeth and ride it out. 385 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,949 Donald once said something similar. 386 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,477 I'm pretty sure once Riannon has got this out of her system 387 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:49,680 we can go back to being a normal, happily married couple. 388 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:54,393 But for me, I prefer our relationship 389 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,312 to be purely platonic. 390 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,397 Well, I knew that. 391 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,391 - Did you? - Of course. 392 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,989 - And you don't mind? - Why should I? 393 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,675 To be honest, I'm not that fussy when it comes to men or women. 394 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,669 But I must admit, I do like a bit more 395 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,751 meat on the bone. 396 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,359 No offence. 397 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,918 Now, talking of meat, I think it's time for a burger. 398 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:22,829 I'm vegetarian. 399 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,155 Oh, you'll be all right. 400 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,549 I think they do them with cheese as well. 401 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,029 See ya out there. 402 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:35,835 Then the little guy in the hat tell them they are worth $3 million. 403 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,909 That can't be right. 404 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,353 I thought he said 30 million. 405 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:39,429 That's ridiculous. 406 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,869 There you are. Come on you, that's your lunch hour finished. 407 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:42,995 I've got another 10 minutes. 408 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,672 Anyway, since when were you in a rush to get to work? 409 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,911 Since I rang Psychic Sue and organised a séance at Blow and Go tonight. 410 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,797 - You're joking. - What is séance? 411 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,757 It's where you all sit in a darkened room, 412 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,149 join hands and try and contact the dead. 413 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,789 Why do you do this? 414 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,791 There are enough people here who are nearly dead. 415 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,074 Heh-heh-heh-heh. 416 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,559 You can talk to them anytime. 417 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,752 - Come on! - All right, I'm coming. 418 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:04,989 8:00, Blow and Go. 419 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:11,955 What about this, then? 420 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,355 Half price tickets to Paralysis. 421 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,513 What the hell is Paralysis? 422 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,395 It's one of them big clubs out on the motorway. 423 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,433 Dad, you're in your 50s. 424 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,669 All right, keep it down. 425 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,354 I thought you might enjoy it. 426 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,112 It don't open till 3:00 in the morning. 427 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,918 No, that must be a printing mistake. 428 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,436 Dad, clubs like this open at 3:00 a.m. And close at midday. 429 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,149 Really? 430 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,349 What's all that about, then? 431 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,910 And the only tunes they play is what you always call "drug music". 432 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,753 Well, I thought it might make a change from what you get in the club here. 433 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,356 Engelbert Humperdinck and that lot. 434 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,829 True. 435 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,957 So you wanna go to Paralysis, then? 436 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,549 I'll give Mikey a shout. 437 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,912 We could both meet you at Reception at say, what, 5:00 a. M? 438 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,117 Well, we don't want to be the first there, do we? 439 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,469 No, I think I'll give Paralysis a miss tonight. 440 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,552 We'll do the Benidorm usual. 441 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,069 Paralytic. 442 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,635 Nice one. 443 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:40,474 Is there anybody there? 444 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,869 Knock once for yes, 445 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:45,994 or twice for no. 446 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,073 Jesus Christ! 447 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,240 What the hell are you playing at? I nearly shat meself then. 448 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,515 Have you had a power cut? 'Cause we're okay out here. 449 00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,079 No! What do you want? 450 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:00,355 What's going on? 451 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,312 - Nothing. - Then why are your lights off? 452 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,038 Oh! Come in, then. 453 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,718 I am having a séance. 454 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:13,479 - A séance? - Yeah. 455 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:14,869 - What, here? - Yeah. 456 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,188 - When? - Tonight. 457 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,714 Who are you trying to contact? 458 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:18,915 Never you mind, you nosy git. 459 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,035 Now look, 460 00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:23,032 I could give you permission for this foray into the occult 461 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,315 on one condition. 462 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,192 I don't need your permission. Go on, piss off! 463 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,429 No... 464 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,871 - I think you might need me. - What? 465 00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,471 I've been used as a tool before. 466 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,869 Oh, why doesn't that surprise me? Out! 467 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,269 Listen! 468 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,436 My father was a psychic medium. 469 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,592 But he could only contact the spirit world if I was in the room. 470 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:42,994 You're not making any sense. 471 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,077 Let's just say, 472 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,869 the afterlife is Channel 5, 473 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,154 the psychic is the television... 474 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,112 But I'm the antenna. 475 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,519 How much have you had to drink today? 476 00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,955 Nothing! 477 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,590 Well, apart from a couple with me lunch. 478 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:03,915 Just go, will ya. 479 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,788 Psst, if you wanna come to the séance, 480 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,995 be here tonight at 8:00. 481 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:10,918 Yes, no problem, I'll be here. 482 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,795 What the frig's Channel 5 got to do with anything? 483 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,350 - Pardon me. - Oh, I beg your pardon. 484 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,028 It's um, Mr LaRoo isn't it? 485 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,191 My name is Roo, no "La". 486 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,069 Roo-no-la. 487 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,834 No, my surname is Roo, 488 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,474 but you can call me Buck. 489 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,676 Oh, how kind. I'm Joyce. 490 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,552 Well, good day to you, Joyce. 491 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,437 Do let me know if I can be of any assistance 492 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,158 in whatever it is you're doing here. 493 00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,196 I mean, I don't mean that in a prying way. I just... 494 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,078 No, no. Thank you. Thank you. You've been a most gracious host. 495 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,072 I mean, it's really none of our business what you're doing here. 496 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,798 Well, in that we are agreed. 497 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:51,395 Suffice it to say, if you do feel the need to include someone as, 498 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,754 oh, I don't know, erm, an independent witness to legal matters? 499 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,879 Please feel free to call upon my services. 500 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,758 My dear Joyce, I have an old Tennessee saying 501 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,512 that I would like to share with you. 502 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:04,715 How wonderful! 503 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,072 "The mountain air smells much sweeter 504 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,834 "when you keep your nose out of other people's poop." 505 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,235 Right. Shall I tell him? 506 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,595 No, I'll do it. 507 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,036 I do apologise for needing that untimely repose, 508 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:23,599 but I've been flying all over Europe 509 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,478 like a fish crow with four sets of wings. 510 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,392 I'm not signing anything. 511 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:34,711 Mrs Harvey, I understand your apprehension, 512 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,791 but do you really think I would have travelled 513 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,155 halfway across the world to find you, 514 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,915 if it was all humbug and I was some kind of flim-flammer? 515 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,958 I'm sorry, love, just my mother's been through all this before, 516 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,553 and in Benidorm as well. 517 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,838 She nearly married this fella who said he had money belonging to Mel so, 518 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,839 well, she don't want to go through it all again, do you, Mam? 519 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,558 No, I bloody well don't. 520 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,108 Well, as handsome a woman as you are, Miss Harvey, 521 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,112 and although I have indeed been won over by your 522 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,390 not inconsiderable charms, 523 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,833 I wasn't thinking of asking you to jump the broomstick just yet. 524 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,509 My dear friends, I can understand your misgivings. 525 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,077 This is for sure one crazy old tale. 526 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,712 But I do have a solution. 527 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,878 How many days of your vacation do you have remaining? 528 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:26,798 We've just got here. 529 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:27,869 Why? 530 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,996 Let's all go to Vegas. 531 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,274 Oh, my God, yeah! 532 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:32,589 You what? 533 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:36,150 Let's all go to Vegas and see what's due to y'all. 534 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,673 Go to Las Vegas, when? 535 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,632 Well I took the liberty of checking flights, 536 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,597 we could leave for London tonight. 537 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,393 Fly to Vegas in the morning, first-class. 538 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,312 All at my expense, naturally. 539 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,709 Oh Nana, please, I've always wanted to go to Vegas. 540 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:49,835 All right, that's enough. 541 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,798 Now look, I don't know who you are or what you want 542 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,552 but this woman's been through enough. 543 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,115 And she don't need you messing her around with stories of 544 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,710 million pound fortunes, trips to Las Vegas and all that bollocks. Just... 545 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:03,713 Just leave us alone. 546 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,152 Mr Garvey, I can assure you... 547 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,276 Just leave us to get on with our holiday. 548 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,232 Okay, I understand this is 549 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,359 an awfully big adventure and a lot to take in. 550 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,110 If you change your minds, you got my number. 551 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,838 Yeah, we've got your number, all right. 552 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,357 "Hasta luego"as they say around these parts. 553 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,678 Excuse me, ma'am, 554 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,309 can you order me a cab? 555 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:32,429 Nae problem. 556 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,230 Brilliant! The one chance we get to do something interesting, you say no. 557 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,714 Right! I think we could all do with a drink. 558 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:42,789 Hmm. Mam? 559 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,309 Mam? 560 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:48,949 Yeah. 561 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,509 Let's go. 562 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,476 Now, you know not to give her any information, don't you? 563 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,551 She already knows our address, she's a regular. 564 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,119 I don't mean that. I mean any information 565 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,952 that she could use to pretend 566 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,151 that she's in touch with the spirit world. 567 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,276 There's a lot of charlatans out there. 568 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,952 It's all rubbish, I've told him. 569 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:18,109 Not entirely. 570 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,676 I once helped my father get in touch with an Egyptian queen. 571 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,274 Well, times have moved on. We have Grindr for things like that now. 572 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,079 Wait! I can sense a knocking sound. 573 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:30,952 I think somebody's trying to get in touch. 574 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,191 We all sensed it, you daft cow, it's Sue. Let her in, Liam. 575 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,920 There's a very heavy presence 576 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,191 hanging in the air. 577 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,788 Yeah, sorry about that. Liam had a kebab for his dinner. 578 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,359 I told you to eat that outside. 579 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,033 Ohh! The vibrations are strong. 580 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,117 They're very strong already. 581 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,999 I've never sensed such an atmosphere 582 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,234 so heavy with the afterlife. 583 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,078 I told you, that'll be me. 584 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,993 Shut up, you! Come and sit down, Sue. 585 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:25,269 Ohh! 586 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,114 Ohh! 587 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:32,309 You all right, love? 588 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,189 Did you jog here? 589 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:39,789 Kenneth, 590 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:42,833 Kenneth, there's someone trying to come through already. 591 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,269 I have to mention, I do make a small charge for my services. 592 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,191 - Oh, here we go. - Zip it, you! 593 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,909 Of course, Sue. I entirely understand. 594 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,639 - 50 euros. - 50 euros? 595 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,109 You taking the piss? Who have you got coming through, Ronnie Biggs? 596 00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:00,274 True psychic ability does require some form of recompense. 597 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:04,114 My father's chakra was once penetrated by Genghis Khan. 598 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,719 He was laid up for days. 599 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,234 We'll sort the money out at the end. Can we just get on with it, please? 600 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:09,958 Yes, well, as long as you don't forget. 601 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,317 Aahh! 602 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,310 I don't suppose I could have a large brandy, could I? 603 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,914 That's all she's come for, to scam you for money and a free bar. 604 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,718 Liam! Where's your manners? 605 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,195 Joyce, do you think we could have a... 606 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:34,915 Joyce? 607 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,029 - Joyce! - Whoo! 608 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,192 Who is it? Did somebody come through? 609 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,436 - She wants a brandy. - Oh! Yes, of course. 610 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,272 - I'll have one, too. - Four brandies. 611 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,429 Don't like brandy. 612 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,112 I never asked you what you want. Two are for me. 613 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,954 Ohh! Ohh! 614 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,311 - Psst. - Uhh! 615 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:56,749 Psst! 616 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,991 Do excuse me for just a moment, Sue. 617 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,309 Go. 618 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:07,908 What do you want? 619 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,195 I'm telling you, she's only here for what she can get out of ya. 620 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:11,719 She's about psychic as I am. 621 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,028 This is a gifted woman, 622 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,078 whose only interest is to reunite people with their dear departed relatives. 623 00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:17,149 Now, do as you're told. 624 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:21,349 Ooh! 625 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,313 - Ahh! - I'm sorry about that, Sue. 626 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,635 He won't be a minute. 627 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,153 Ahh, ohh... 628 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:33,752 I'm quite peckish. 629 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,151 I don't suppose you've got anything to eat, have you? 630 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,033 ♪ Good morning, miss Can I help you, son? 631 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,990 ♪ Sixteen today And up for fun 632 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,276 ♪ I'm a big boy now Or so they say 633 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:49,396 ♪ So if you'll serve me I'll be on my way 634 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,836 ♪ Box of balloons With the feather-light touch... 635 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,229 I've not seen sight nor sound of his wife, have you? 636 00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,433 What do you think's gone on? 637 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,878 - Mick? - I don't know, do I? 638 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,115 Ask our Michael. 639 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:07,152 What do you reckon, Mam? Do you think they've split up? 640 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:09,989 Mam? 641 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,109 Well, I don't know. 642 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,355 Hey, Michael, what's going on with them? 643 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:16,759 Why ain't his wife here? 644 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,519 Have you not spoken to your mate? 645 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:19,715 - Yeah. - Well? 646 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:21,509 Well, that's their business. 647 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,474 You wouldn't like it if everyone was gossiping about you behind your back. 648 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,313 Fat chance of that. I've got nothing to gossip about. 649 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,357 ♪ I'm up to date Gotta date today 650 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,192 ♪ So if you'll serve me I'll be on my way 651 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,829 ♪ Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age... ♪ 652 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,430 - Same one again? - Yes, thanks, love. 653 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,438 The big man with the red face, he's not with you tonight? 654 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:49,310 Me husband? No, he's gone off with a woman from Merthyr Tydfil. 655 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,480 Okay, I'm sorry to hear this. 656 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,077 Do you want to sit at the singles table? 657 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,429 No, the woman who my husband is staying with, 658 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:02,273 well, her husband is staying with me. 659 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,350 - I'm sorry I asked. - Yeah. 660 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,269 I'm starting to feel the same way. 661 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,712 Do you fancy giving us a song, Madge? 662 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,315 Yeah, put me down for What Kind of Fool Am I? 663 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:17,999 Sammy Davis Jr. 664 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,998 Well, you've got the look but have you got the voice? 665 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,310 - Mick! - I'm only trying to lighten the mood. 666 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,236 Oh, what's that one Mel used to like? 667 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,395 Boulevard of Broken Dreams. 668 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,029 Mother, why are you being like this? You've done a good thing. 669 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,510 You were about to be ripped off, we saw it coming and put a stop to it. 670 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:36,589 And I'll tell you why. 671 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,033 Because all the time I felt Mel's presence. 672 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,630 I actually felt him guiding me, 673 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:44,189 telling me what to do. 674 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,153 - I bet I know what was saying. - Go on. 675 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:50,870 "Don't let the short arse bastard pull the wool over your eyes, princess, 676 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,797 "we've been done like this before." 677 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:54,918 Is that supposed to be an impression of Mel? 678 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,514 - Yeah. - Just sounded like you were constipated. 679 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,478 Yes, that's exactly what he's been saying. 680 00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:03,393 Thanks, son. I'll drink to that. 681 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:04,789 Here's to Mel. 682 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:06,909 To Mel. 683 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:19,429 Let's have a look here. 684 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:25,352 I think I will do a song, Janice. 685 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:26,509 Yep, fire away. 686 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,434 Uh, I Lost My Heart... 687 00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:31,839 In San Francisco. 688 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,115 No. 689 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:35,312 To a Starship Trooper. 690 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,072 It was one of Mel's favourites. 691 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,594 I shall look forward to that. 692 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,678 Uh, same again please, son. 693 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,872 Ohhh! Ahhh! 694 00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:50,749 Mother? 695 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:52,149 Is that you, Mother? 696 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:54,988 You're not making any sense. 697 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:56,429 Ahhh! 698 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,433 You need to stop. 699 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,912 Need to stop him. 700 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:05,115 Need to stop who? 701 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,919 I was wrong, princess. 702 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,197 You need to go with him. 703 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,113 You need to get the money. 704 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,391 Las Vegas, princess! 705 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,831 You must go 706 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,990 to Las Vegas! 707 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,195 - What money? - Ahhh! 708 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,157 - Ahhh! - Who are you? 709 00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:26,232 Oh, just piss off, I wanna speak to me mother! 710 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,509 Oh, my God, she's dead! 711 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,308 She isn't dead, she's just exhausted. 712 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,438 I remember my father was occupied by Liberace 713 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:39,351 for three hours in the late '80s. 714 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,550 He was like a wet rag by the end of it. 715 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:42,675 Well, he would be. 716 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:44,709 Oh! 717 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:46,549 Oh, that's it. 718 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,273 Oh, I can't do any more. 719 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:50,793 What do you mean, that's it? 720 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:52,394 Did you get to speak to your mother? 721 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:53,799 No, I bloody well didn't. 722 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:56,838 Who came through, then? Whoever it was, they were very persistent. 723 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,388 We've no idea, you were just sat there banging on about Las Vegas. 724 00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,074 Las Vegas? Well, 725 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,311 was your mother born in Las Vegas? 726 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,277 Yeah, of course, oh, she's probably trying to get in touch 727 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:07,952 with me brothers Siegfried and Roy. 728 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,270 - Really? - No, not really, you daft cow. 729 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:11,588 Oh, what a waste of time. 730 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,075 Oh well, I'm going to have to go home now 731 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,038 because, you know, I am absolutely shattered. 732 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,109 Oh, brilliant! 733 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,509 I usually charge 50 euros for a session 734 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,750 but as you've only really had half a session, 735 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,718 I'm willing to come down to 25. 736 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,916 25 euros? You're having a laugh, aren't you? 737 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:28,558 You drank that much in brandy. 738 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,437 And high-quality nibbles. 739 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,437 Do you mean you are not going to pay me? 740 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,833 For what? A few gurgles and the worst Elvis impression this side of Benidorm? 741 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,592 - And there's a few contenders for that. - Yeah. 742 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,116 Oh well, you can kiss goodbye to my custom here then. 743 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,031 Oh, God, what are we gonna do without your 744 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:46,997 6 euros for a shampoo and set once a month? 745 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,638 Liam, call in the receivers. 746 00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:50,392 Well, I'll just see myself out, then. 747 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,835 Do, and don't bother coming back 'cause you're barred. 748 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,389 But being a brilliant psychic, you probably already knew that. 749 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:56,913 - Go on, get out! - Ohh! 750 00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:58,955 What a washout that was. 751 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,270 Oh, I'm sorry, Kenneth, I told you it was all rubbish. 752 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:02,349 I know, love. 753 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,232 If only my father was alive. 754 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,471 He could have introduced you to as many dead people as you want. 755 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,074 I'm sorry, Mrs Temple Savage, but I don't agree. 756 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,754 There's no such thing as ghosts, poltergeists, 757 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,068 things that go bump in the night. 758 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:17,277 It's just our desperate need to keep loving those that are no longer with us. 759 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,357 The dead are just that, dead. 760 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,755 Gone, but hopefully not forgotten. 761 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,472 Yeah, you're right. 762 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,235 I mean, if the dead could speak, 763 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:27,311 I'd hope they'd do a lot more than just make a middle-aged woman 764 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,595 slump in a chair and speak in a funny voice. 765 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,397 ♪ I lost my heart to a starship trooper 766 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,952 ♪ Ooh! 767 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,790 ♪ Tell me, Captain Strange, won't you be my lover? 768 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,510 ♪ You're the best thing that I've ever discovered 769 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:56,315 ♪ Flash Gordon's left me He's gone to the stars 770 00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:00,871 had me banished to Mars... 771 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,270 Oi, Mateo, have you seen Temple Savage? 772 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,079 No, she has not been here tonight. What is the problem? 773 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,197 Ah, there's no problem. She just asked me to do an internet search 774 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,794 on that fella that was here, Buck A. Roo. 775 00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:12,869 Oh, yeah? 776 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:14,678 Yep, turns out it was his real name. 777 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:18,233 Hey! How did you let get on with your mate? 778 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:19,919 - What mate? - Buck. 779 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:21,635 Did you find your money? 780 00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:27,229 Oh, my God! 781 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,834 - What's the matter? - Me dad's just told him to piss off. 782 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,593 ♪ Requesting your position it's their final demand 783 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,677 ♪ You're turning up Oh! Oh! 784 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,598 ♪ So if you're gonna take me... ♪ 785 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,591 Get off! Get off the stage! 786 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,352 Oh, piss off, it's not your turn. 787 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:48,392 What's going on? Leave her alone. 788 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,232 I told you I'd put you down for Sex on Fire. 789 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,799 - It's real! - What? 790 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,638 The little Oompa Loompa fella. 791 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,513 - What're you going on about? - The money, Vegas, it's all real! 792 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:58,671 Oh, my God! Mother, where's your phone? 793 00:39:58,760 --> 00:39:59,875 I deleted his number. 794 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,269 - You've got his card. - I chucked it away! 795 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:05,512 - Oh, my God! - Come on. 796 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,234 Here, Janice, help me. 797 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,557 Come on, come on! 798 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:11,755 Let's go! 799 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,195 Hey! 800 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:16,718 Wait, I can't run as fast as you! 801 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,513 Anyway, as I was saying, 802 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,194 I was thinking of going to Paraplegic tonight. 803 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,151 - Lf you fancy it. - Excuse me? 804 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:28,029 It's a club. It starts late but all the banging places do. 805 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,758 Oh, you're here, 806 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,274 hiding behind the pillar. I've been sitting here on me own. 807 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:33,429 I wasn't hiding. 808 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,268 This is er, my mate, Tiger. 809 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,799 Hello, Tiger! 810 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,472 Is this the one you wanted to have a threesome with? 811 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:40,549 Oh, no, no, no! 812 00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,119 What? That's my dad. 813 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,918 Your dad? You said you were 38. 814 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,354 He's 52! 815 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,199 Listen, son, go and sit over there, I'll be with you in a minute. 816 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,113 And leave you with this old slapper? You've got to be joking. 817 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,349 I beg your pardon! 818 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:53,634 He's a married man. 819 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:55,597 - You said you were divorced. - Look, just shut up! 820 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:56,954 You're gonna let him speak to me like that? 821 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:58,758 You said you were divorced. 822 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,197 You know, you're a very accommodating woman, Jacqueline. 823 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,316 - You what? - You're very understanding 824 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:15,879 to your husband's needs. 825 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,555 Well, we're just very secure in our relationship. 826 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:22,598 Yes. Yes, I realise that now. 827 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,910 I've never been unfaithful to my wife. 828 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:27,989 Right. 829 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,550 I've always been totally monogamous through choice. 830 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:34,479 Just not my choice. 831 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,357 When Riannon went on her first "weaving" holiday, 832 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,955 I must admit I had my suspicions about her intentions, 833 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,508 and in a fit of jealous rage 834 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,148 I tried it on with our neighbour, 835 00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:50,393 Bethan. And do you what she did? 836 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,752 She laughed. She took one look at me 837 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,080 and laughed. Am I that much of a joke? 838 00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:00,152 Maybe she thought you weren't serious. 839 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:02,836 Well, I'm serious now. 840 00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:05,512 I'm going upstairs. 841 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,439 And all I'm saying is 842 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:12,352 I won't be pulling the wardrobe in front of the door. 843 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,194 Not this time. 844 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,392 That's all I'm saying. 845 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,117 Your friend, he does not want roly-poly? 846 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:32,590 He does, but he won't be getting it from me. 847 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:42,478 I think I should change me shoes. 848 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,910 - You can't, we ain't got time to change. - Wait up. 849 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,429 I don't know, do I? You can always write a letter to her. 850 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,831 Excuse me, mate, I just need to get through... 851 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:52,909 May I see your boarding pass? 852 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,399 No, we don't have boarding passes. 853 00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,152 Can I just go through for five minutes? 854 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,152 I'm sorry, but you have to collect your boarding passes first. 855 00:42:59,240 --> 00:43:00,593 We can't, we haven't got any tickets. 856 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:01,829 Then why are you here? 857 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:03,353 Just get out of our way. 858 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,358 It's jobsworths like you brought the Spanish economy to its knees. 859 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:07,793 Nice one, Madge Paxman. 860 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:08,869 - He's there. - Where? 861 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,508 - There, look. - Oh, eh, Mr Roo? 862 00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,556 - Can I just go through? Please? - No, no, no. 863 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,953 You came! 864 00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:23,951 Oh, I'm so sorry we said what we said. 865 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,234 It's just that you told us... 866 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,117 Okay, are they coming in or are you going out? 867 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,475 Oh, I do, do apologise. 868 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:34,473 Oh, we really didn't mean to send you packing like that. 869 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,036 It's just that everything that you said sounded so unbelievable. 870 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,116 Oh, there's no call for an apology. 871 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,633 I've been through this many times. 872 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,512 Someone showed me your bits on the internet. 873 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:44,949 That sounded wrong. 874 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:49,232 My dear friends, I cannot tell you how gratifying it is 875 00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:52,517 to see you again. I'm in a strange business. 876 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,468 It's a wonderful but a very strange business. 877 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,433 Lots of travel, an awful lot of hard work, 878 00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:03,513 but it commonly results in the same conclusion, 879 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:07,393 I make people's dreams come true. 880 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:12,318 Come with me, will you? On this fantastic journey? 881 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:14,989 You all right, Mam? 882 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,316 Mel... Mel always said he'd look after me. 883 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,637 He said he'd look after us all. 884 00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:23,753 And I never doubted him. 885 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,674 I never doubted him. 886 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:27,435 - Ever. - Come here. 887 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,912 So, how much money are we talking about? I know you said millions, but seriously? 888 00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,316 For certain, we don't know yet. 889 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:38,919 But I can give you my personal guarantee on one consideration. 890 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:40,429 What's that? 891 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,875 You will all live 892 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,428 happily ever after. 893 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,792 Tickets! 894 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:51,555 Tickets! 895 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,592 Hey, is that champagne? 896 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,989 Oh, for God's sake, one glass, I'm nearly 16. 897 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:08,594 I'm not bothered about that, I just don't wanna have to pay for it. 898 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,313 Don't worry, Mr Garvey, 899 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,238 this trip is what you might call "all-inclusive". 900 00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,191 You think we'll ever go back to Benidorm, Mam? 901 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,556 Who knows? Never say never. 902 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:19,715 I'll drink to that. 903 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,478 Cheers!