1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,916 [phone ringing] 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:04,917 Hello. 3 00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:05,918 Dad, hi. 4 00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,050 Oh, Francis. 5 00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,834 How's the new job?Oh, it's good. 6 00:00:08,878 --> 00:00:10,488 I'm learning all kinds of new things. 7 00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:11,924 I got lots of responsibility. 8 00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,491 I'm actually making some good money. 9 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:14,971 Hey, good for you. 10 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,191 Dad, listen, I know I owe you guys a lot of money 11 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,844 and I want to start paying you back. 12 00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,325 So I'm sending you $50 this month, and then my plan is... 13 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,197 What do you need $50 for? 14 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,199 No, I'm sending you$50. 15 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,852 Francis, I can't spare $50. 16 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,898 No, I'm sending youthe money... 17 00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,422 Just give him the $50. We have to go. 18 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:34,295 All right, your mother says it's okay, but we have to go. 19 00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:39,300 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 20 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,258 ♪ I don't know 21 00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:44,653 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 22 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,959 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 23 00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:49,266 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 24 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:50,789 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 25 00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:53,923 ♪ And you're not so big 26 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:56,230 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 27 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,275 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 28 00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,930 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 29 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,672 ♪ And you're not so big 30 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:07,719 ♪ Life is unfair. 31 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:13,986 It's the first day of school. 32 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,466 Everyone else is bummed, 33 00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,033 but I'm actually excited about it. 34 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,817 I'm officially done with junior high. 35 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,819 I'm not a Krelboyne anymore. 36 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:23,344 I can be whatever I want to be. 37 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,998 I don't have to worry about labels or cliques or who's cool. 38 00:01:26,042 --> 00:01:27,609 I'm going into high school. 39 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:30,264 By the way, this is an excited twitch, 40 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,830 not a nervous twitch. 41 00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,224 Can we please just eat our breakfast 42 00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,139 and stop all this complaining? 43 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,749 But I don't understand. 44 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:40,491 Why do we have to volunteer for the whole first week? 45 00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,145 Because we got caught, Hal. 46 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,320 We ducked out for 12 years. 47 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:45,279 They were bound to get us eventually. 48 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,280 Dewey, come here. 49 00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,368 Listen, you're going to be 50 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,325 coming home from school 51 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,544 at 3:00 this year. 52 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,633 So this is the key to the house. 53 00:01:51,676 --> 00:01:54,418 You will come straight home, you will let yourself in 54 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,985 and you will be in this house alone 55 00:01:56,028 --> 00:01:57,378 until your brothers get here 56 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:58,857 exactly 15 minutes later, and not 57 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,511 one second more! 58 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:03,210 We're giving this to you because we trust you. 59 00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,863 Congratulations. 60 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,300 You're now a latchkey kid. 61 00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:10,086 Point four miles to go. 62 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,435 Malcolm, if any big kids bother you, 63 00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,394 you go straight to your old teacher. 64 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,265 I'm not going to Mr. Herkabe for anything. 65 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:16,353 Point two. 66 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,573 Why not? He's the new dean of discipline. 67 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,749 Talk about having friends in high places. 68 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,968 He's not a friend, he's a psychopath. 69 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,796 He's been out to get me since the day we met. 70 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,320 He actually told me that. 71 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:29,192 What the heck is wrong with this stupid car? 72 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:32,108 I've gone 30 miles since the gas light came on last night, 73 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,240 and we're still going. 74 00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:34,980 Hal, look. There's the parking lot. 75 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,417 You can let us out here.Yeah, Dad, here's good. 76 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,767 Don't be silly. We're all going to the same place. 77 00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,595 Hal, look. A spot right up front. 78 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:41,944 Right next to the cheerleaders. 79 00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,426 Thanks for what you did back there. 80 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,688 The firecracker did all the work. 81 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,124 That's the good thing about cheerleaders. 82 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,473 They stampede easy. 83 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:50,996 Let's get inside before Mom and Dad see... 84 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,911 Ah, the golden boy has returned. 85 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,130 Release the doves. 86 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,131 Hi, Mr. Herkabe. 87 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,437 And you must be Reese. 88 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,481 I have been 89 00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:58,700 thoroughly briefed on you, 90 00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,267 and if you do one thing wrong, 91 00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,443 I'm going to go medieval on your permanent record. 92 00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:04,793 Ask yourself, whatever happened 93 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:07,230 to the old dean of discipline? 94 00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:09,798 LOIS: Mr. Herkabe. 95 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,365 Good morning.It is so exciting 96 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,454 being here on the first day of school. 97 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:14,803 Yes. It's like being at the cockfights 98 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,457 before they open the cages. 99 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,372 So the two hours a day-- does that include travel time? 100 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,243 Because there was a lot of traffic. 101 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,159 So, you'll be handing out health forms 102 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,814 and you... report to the North Field. 103 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,250 Can't we do something together? 104 00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,512 Let me check. 105 00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,166 Uh... no. 106 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,167 But don't we both 107 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,951 feel better knowing we tried? 108 00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,389 I am so sorry. 109 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,391 I'll have your horse ready in two minutes. 110 00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,696 We're a little shorthanded today. 111 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:39,958 I had to help make breakfast. 112 00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:41,395 You'll be riding Sparky here. 113 00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:43,092 I'll get him saddled right up for you. 114 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,660 Would you like a croissant while you wait? 115 00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,618 Oh, sure.Good morning, Francis. 116 00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,446 What a beautiful day. 117 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,882 Otto, can I talk to you? 118 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:51,840 Yeah. 119 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,494 How is your lovely wife? 120 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,887 You know, you should start having babies right away. 121 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,280 And you must breast-feed. 122 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,281 Yeah, listen. 123 00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,543 What happened to Bill and Andy? 124 00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,415 Neither one of them showed up for their shifts today. 125 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,505 Bill and Andy are on vacation. I thought I told you. 126 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,723 Well, who's supposed to be covering for them? 127 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,508 Let us have a look. 128 00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:08,335 Ah, here. 129 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:11,512 You see? Alex and Dan are filling in. 130 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,688 No. You let them go fishing until next Wednesday. 131 00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:14,993 Otto, I think it's wonderful 132 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,430 that you're so accommodating, 133 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:18,214 but sometimes you just have to say no. 134 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:19,519 I mean, you're running a business. 135 00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:20,825 Wait a second. 136 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,483 Is that the same dog from July? 137 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:30,574 Orientation: North Hall, two-six. 138 00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:36,276 All right, it's okay. I'll find it. It's cool. 139 00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,195 Is this the North Quad? 140 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,502 [chuckling]: Oh, man. 141 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,330 CYNTHIA: Malcolm! 142 00:04:47,374 --> 00:04:50,028 Malcolm! 143 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,335 Hey, silly, we're over here. 144 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,032 Malcolm. 145 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,599 Have you looked at these 146 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,340 Rorschach tests they're calling maps? 147 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,602 Yeah, they're confusing, but do you guys 148 00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,603 think you can talk a little softer? 149 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,170 I'm ready... 150 00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:02,345 to cry. 151 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,346 They're not to scale. 152 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,695 How do they expect anyone to use 153 00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:05,740 a map that's not to scale? 154 00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,350 Guys... 155 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,917 Come on, this is exciting. 156 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,832 I mean, I'm so disoriented. 157 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:13,530 Keep me away from the heavy machinery. 158 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:16,446 [hysterical laughter] 159 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,360 Where are you going? 160 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,495 I told you we should have taken a dry run last week! 161 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,279 But, no, "Dabney's an alarmist!" 162 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,194 Well, now look where we are! 163 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:28,240 Fill out both health forms and your emergency contact card. 164 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,155 And feel free to button your top. 165 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,070 Boys like a little mystery. 166 00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:35,944 This is fun. 167 00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:38,512 I don't know why we avoided this for so long. 168 00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,804 [gasps] Mine! 169 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:15,810 Mine. 170 00:06:18,334 --> 00:06:20,336 Okay, so yesterday wasn't too bad. 171 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,642 I didn't make any new friends, 172 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,905 but I did manage to avoid all my old ones. 173 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,298 I'll make it up to them once I'm popular. 174 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,431 Who am I kidding? No, I won't. 175 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,476 CYNTHIA: Malcolm! 176 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,478 Malcolm! 177 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:32,696 This is the spot 178 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,655 where we'll meet for lunch, okay? 179 00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:39,486 Malcolm, did you hear her? 180 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,365 Here you go.Thanks. 181 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,497 Hi. I can take over from here. 182 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,846 Thank you very much. 183 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,551 Excuse me. I can't use this book. 184 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,509 I need to switch. 185 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,598 What did you do? 186 00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,252 Nothing. I...You can't bring the book back in this condition. 187 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,645 No, I just got it like this. 188 00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:10,473 I don't think so. If you want another book, 189 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,083 you're going to have to pay $40 for it. 190 00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,520 Next. 191 00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,524 Mom, you have to talk to this lady. 192 00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,047 She won't let me return this book. 193 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,614 Oh, my God. 194 00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:23,268 What did you do to your pants? 195 00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,748 What? 196 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:25,923 Oh, for crying out loud. 197 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,012 How did you get a stain there already? 198 00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,058 Mom, come on. 199 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:30,972 It wasn't there this morning. 200 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,495 Mom, stop. It's no big deal. 201 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,670 No big deal? 202 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:36,194 You begged me for these pants. 203 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,979 You almost started crying in the store when 204 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:39,197 I wasn't going to buy them 205 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,069 for you, and now look what you did to them. 206 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:44,551 That looks like that's coming from the inside. 207 00:07:44,594 --> 00:07:46,857 Mom, leave me alone. You're embarrassing me. 208 00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,381 Oh, I am not embarrassing you. 209 00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:50,948 Would you be embarrassed by this? 210 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,733 No. See? Come on. 211 00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:55,257 See if we can find some club soda and get that out. 212 00:07:58,173 --> 00:07:59,653 Justice... 213 00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,177 is swift. 214 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,961 DEWEY: I also think we should we have 215 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,920 meat loaf on Mondays and not on Tuesdays 216 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:09,010 so we can have an extra day of meat loaf sandwiches. 217 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:13,231 I also think the table should be in front of the TV 218 00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:16,017 and the couch should be in front of the refrigerator. 219 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,540 I also think 220 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,586 there should be hand-me-ups instead of hand-me-downs, 221 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,239 I think kids should be able to steer, 222 00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:24,112 and I think school should be only four hours a day 223 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,593 and should be held on top of the building. 224 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:27,681 I also think... 225 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:30,031 Okay, Angela comes back tomorrow. 226 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:32,207 So she can cover for Todd on the nature hike 227 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,164 and, that way, Todd can help out in the kitchen 228 00:08:34,208 --> 00:08:35,993 which will free up Sonja to do the hayride. 229 00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:38,518 That is such a good plan. 230 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,477 Angela's vacation is over, right? 231 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,217 I extended it. 232 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,263 It rained her first two days. 233 00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,178 [kisses] 234 00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,441 Kiss your mint. 235 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,706 Okay, got to make up some ground. 236 00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:53,794 Here's what I'm going to do-- 237 00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,752 be the first freshman with a girlfriend. 238 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,493 It's worth a shot, right? 239 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,409 I was going to give it a few weeks before asking someone out. 240 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,412 Wait till I liked some girl, she liked me... whatever. 241 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,022 But I'll just move it up. 242 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:07,721 Hi. 243 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,374 Oh. Hey, Stain. 244 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:10,462 What? 245 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,638 Hey, Stain. 246 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,423 Stain. 247 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,426 Thank you. 248 00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:19,820 Hey, Stain. 249 00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,561 Yo, Stain, what's up? 250 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,477 Don't pass out. 251 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,827 Breathe in through your nose. 252 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,742 You can pull this out. 253 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,614 Will you be my girlfriend? 254 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:44,888 How's it going? 255 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,890 Look, every bulletin is lined up perfectly 256 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,763 with the one next to it and the one above and below. 257 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,503 Thumbtacks just bring out this side in me. 258 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:53,636 [chuckling]: Very nice. 259 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,856 You know, it's weird being back in high school. 260 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,640 But it's kind of fun, too. 261 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,859 Brings back memories. 262 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,556 Yeah. Does it? Yeah. 263 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,123 Well! What have we here? 264 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,777 Have you finished cleaning up the cigarette butts 265 00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,865 on the football field? 266 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,518 I'll get to it. 267 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,303 You know, we alone determine 268 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:11,088 how much we get out of any given experience. 269 00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,917 I said, I'll get to it. 270 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,793 Jerkabe. 271 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,055 You're so bad. 272 00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:24,667 Am I? 273 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,408 What's that look? 274 00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,499 You're dreaming. 275 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:31,805 Forget it. Don't be stupid. 276 00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,676 There are too many people around. 277 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,157 We'd get caught for sure. 278 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,943 It wouldn't be fun. 279 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,121 It wouldn't be comfortable. 280 00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:47,559 There's no good place. 281 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,652 This utility closet will be locked for sure. 282 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,569 There's no room for two people in here. 283 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,924 [mambo music playing] 284 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,709 ♪ Papa loves mambo 285 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,364 ♪ Mama loves mambo 286 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,496 ♪ Look good and sway with it 287 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,976 ♪ Gettin' so gay with it 288 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,500 ♪ Shoutin' olé with it. Wow! 289 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:18,852 ♪ Papa loves mambo 290 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:21,506 ♪ Mama loves mambo 291 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,291 ♪ Papa does great with it 292 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,727 ♪ Swings like a gate with it 293 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:27,077 ♪ He loses weight with it now! 294 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,383 [music stops] 295 00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:30,080 Hey, Malcolm. 296 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,734 I'm the fool! 297 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,736 I'm the one who thought there was such a thing 298 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,085 as kindness and decency in life! 299 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,826 Okay. 300 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,003 Mr. Herkabe! 301 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,875 Mr. Herkabe, uh, listen, uh, 302 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,747 I've spent the last half hour... thinking, 303 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:48,795 and, uh, now that I've had a chance to cool off, 304 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,145 I-I just wanted to apologize for earlier. 305 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,624 Oh? 306 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,801 Yeah. I mean, you were just doing your job. 307 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:57,412 Well, your apology is noted and not accepted. 308 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:58,979 What?! 309 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,763 Come on, I said I was sorry. 310 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,113 Well, it's a little late for that. 311 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,768 You're hereby expelled from the program! 312 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:06,464 What?! 313 00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:07,422 Remove yourself 314 00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:08,858 from school property immediately. 315 00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:11,034 Good day, sir. 316 00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:15,125 It's just so exciting to be part of something 317 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,431 from the very beginning. 318 00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:17,693 Stain. 319 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,825 It's classic. 320 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,261 It's one of those rare nicknames 321 00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,828 that will stick with a person forever 322 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:24,178 because they are so perfect in their cruelty. 323 00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:25,875 Hey, you know what's weird? It's actually 324 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,398 wiping out my memory of your old name. 325 00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,009 Is it Monty? 326 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:30,358 Marco? 327 00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,925 Murgatroyd? 328 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,362 HAL: Oh, that pompous little martinet! 329 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:35,842 You should have seen his face! 330 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,061 Hal, it's crazy to be upset by this. 331 00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,715 You didn't want to do it anyway. 332 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,890 He didn't know that! 333 00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,239 That means he thinks he won. 334 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,588 Which means I think I lost! 335 00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:44,676 But not for long, Lois. 336 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,982 Ho-ho, not for long! 337 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:49,377 [sotto voce]: I want it delivered at 3:00. 338 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,814 I don't mean on the truck at 3:00. 339 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,642 I mean hereat 3:00. 340 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:58,038 Not 3:05. Not 3:10. 3:00. 341 00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,823 Good. My son will sign for it. 342 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,434 Hi. You called for a massage? 343 00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:05,872 Oh, yeah, yeah, come on in. 344 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,656 Just set up right there. 345 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,092 This is so great. 346 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:12,095 I hope you're good with lower back pain. 347 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,010 Uh, yeah. Absolutely. 348 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:18,232 I specialize in... vertebrae... sciatic... 349 00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:20,103 impactions of the back. 350 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,322 Oh, that sounds perfect! 351 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,847 Happy anniversary, honey. 352 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,022 I'm going to be in the salon. 353 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,242 Take your time. 354 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,634 [gasps] 355 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,723 Face up or face down? 356 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,116 Why, what are you going to do to me? 357 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:35,466 The massage. 358 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,294 Oh, yeah. 359 00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:40,994 [man groaning] 360 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:44,258 Oh... oh, there it is! 361 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:47,087 Ah, yeah, baby. Oh... 362 00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:51,874 [whimpering] 363 00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:01,362 Oh! That's the sign of a good massage. 364 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:04,234 Oh! That means I'm totally relaxed. 365 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,062 [grunts] 366 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:34,047 ♪ 367 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:07,558 We don't mean to inflict ourselves on you, 368 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,952 but there's no other places. 369 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,954 Look, we know you've had a rough couple of days, 370 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,956 but things are about to get better. 371 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,176 We joined... 372 00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,047 the chess club. 373 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,048 They love geniuses! 374 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:19,962 I was voted king. 375 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,659 I'm the queen-- 376 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,835 which is actually the more powerful position. 377 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,359 And they're excited to meet you, too. 378 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,665 I told them your opinion on the Luzhin defense. 379 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,972 It raised a few eyebrows, but you're as good as in. 380 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:35,021 I don't deserve you guys. 381 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,024 I'm sorry I ignored you, and I appreciate the gesture, 382 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,591 but you're really better off without me. 383 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,071 Oh, come on. 384 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,768 Will you get off this sulking thing? 385 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:45,118 Since when do you care 386 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,597 what other people think of you? 387 00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:47,685 Cynthia, don't do this. 388 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,470 Malcolm, you hate everyone. 389 00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:53,430 To you, everyone's either a moron or a creep or a poseur. 390 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:56,564 Why do you suddenly care about their opinion of you? 391 00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,392 Because I'm shallow, okay? 392 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,570 I want them to like me. 393 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,485 It's not so bad, Malcolm. 394 00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,443 It's only the first week. 395 00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:10,056 You have, like, four years of high school left. 396 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,709 It's okay. 397 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,668 I spent three years being a Krelboyne. 398 00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:15,452 I can spend four years being a joke. 399 00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:17,150 Malcolm, you're not a joke. 400 00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,151 Hey, Stainalator! 401 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:20,066 Bruce Spring-stain. 402 00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,639 What are you doing? 403 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,250 Mopping. 404 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,078 In five minutes, I will have my two hours, 405 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,470 and that will discharge my obligation 406 00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:35,124 to the volunteer program. 407 00:16:35,168 --> 00:16:37,605 Oh, no, it does not, because you have been expelled. 408 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,868 All I know is I've been mopping! 409 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:43,176 And this floor looks pretty darn clean to me. 410 00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,308 But that was unauthorized mopping. 411 00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:48,398 It is spotless, and maybe we should just see whether 412 00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:51,836 the principal thinks it's a job well done. 413 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,055 It's not even clean. 414 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,058 Don't you dare! 415 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,408 No! 416 00:16:58,452 --> 00:16:59,757 [grunts] 417 00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:00,889 [whimpers] 418 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,284 [evil laughter] 419 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,286 Now let's see if you're... 420 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:12,204 [grunts] 421 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,689 [yells] 422 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:21,040 [gasping] 423 00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:26,480 [yelling] 424 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,880 I'd just like to say 425 00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:37,969 in my defense... 426 00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,320 he started it. 427 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,371 Ah, Francis, there you are. 428 00:17:48,415 --> 00:17:50,112 Oh, look at you tidying up. 429 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:51,331 Otto, we have to talk. 430 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,506 We will talk tomorrow. 431 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:53,942 Come, I want to show you something. 432 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:56,031 No! Tomorrow I may be leading aerobics again 433 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,729 or faking my way through a wine-tasting seminar 434 00:17:58,773 --> 00:18:01,254 or-or playing the prostitute in the Old West stunt show. 435 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,559 That wasyou! 436 00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,344 The way you run this place, 437 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,997 sometimes it's not being nice. 438 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:08,261 It's-it's being careless and foolish. 439 00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,697 Look. 440 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,916 [Otto chuckling] 441 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,353 Yes, it's a truck. 442 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,572 Look, Otto, I don't want to leave you high and... 443 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,618 It is yourtruck.What? 444 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,272 I saw it... I thought of you. 445 00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,925 Your car blew up, yeah? 446 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,189 I thought thiswould be a good thing for you. 447 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,193 You see, this is what I'm talking about. 448 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:29,543 You are the best boss ever! 449 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:32,198 I wish I could tell you to take a few days 450 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:34,330 and drive it someplace nice, 451 00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,419 but we're a little shorthanded. 452 00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:37,855 I understand, believe me. 453 00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,422 [laughs] Just kidding! 454 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,032 Go. Take a week. Have fun. 455 00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:42,164 [laughing] 456 00:18:42,208 --> 00:18:44,601 Malcolm! 457 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:47,430 Malcolm, hey, come to the "Y" with me. 458 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:51,652 I think a good yoga class would really help center you. 459 00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,175 A-And there areboys. 460 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,959 Mom's here!What? 461 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,961 Dad got in trouble. Mom is freaking out. 462 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,833 Whatever you do, stay out of her way. 463 00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:01,096 Oh, my God. 464 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,229 I know what I'm going to do. 465 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,361 What are you talking about? 466 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:08,147 I'm going get sent to military school. 467 00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:11,628 Malcolm! 468 00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:14,327 Malcolm! 469 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,590 What are you doing? 470 00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,766 My dad has a hide-a-key. 471 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,071 Here we go. 472 00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,423 I don't want to be a stickler, 473 00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:26,295 but you don't have the right decal for this lot. 474 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,470 Malcolm, stop this. 475 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:28,428 You don't have a license. 476 00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,038 That's okay. I'm just going 477 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,387 to crash into my mom's car. 478 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,259 This is crazy, Malcolm! 479 00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:37,219 This is the stupidest thing 480 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,438 I've ever heard. 481 00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:39,656 No, it's not, it's smart. 482 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:42,137 I just take this car and crash it into that car. 483 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,357 Then I'll be in military school just like Francis was. 484 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,097 It'll be paradise. 485 00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,231 Somebody... with feet... 486 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,406 stop him! 487 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,712 For the love of God, 488 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,061 your shirttail's stuck in the door! 489 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:55,803 Take me with you! 490 00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,108 What's going on?I don't know, man. 491 00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,286 Stop! 492 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,504 I won't let you do this! 493 00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,637 I would rather die than be left alone with Mom! 494 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,638 Get out of the way! 495 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,117 No! 496 00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:08,250 You can run me over. I don't care! 497 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:09,773 [revving engine][screams] 498 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,476 Malcolm! 499 00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:17,694 If you do this, 500 00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:20,044 I will never have sex with you again. 501 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,959 Again? 502 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:23,483 They had sex?He had sex with her? 503 00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:26,050 GIRL: That kid had sex? 504 00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,704 GIRL: She's a slut. 505 00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,315 BOY: She's a big slut. 506 00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,360 GIRL: Oh, my God, what a slut. 507 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,191 Wow, I could really learn a lesson from this, 508 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,845 but all I can think about right now 509 00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:40,413 is how the whole school is convinced that I had se... 510 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,415 You get out of that car this instant! 511 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:44,547 What the heck is wrong with you?! 512 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:45,940 Here, take my pancakes. 513 00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:47,681 Oh, and I did your laundry. 514 00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:49,726 I folded them warm so they wouldn't wrinkle. 515 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,859 Reese, I'm not going to tell you about it. 516 00:20:51,902 --> 00:20:53,121 It didn't even happen. 517 00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,427 Okay. 518 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,255 Wheredidn't it happen? 519 00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,476 Son, I know it's been tough for you 520 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,479 spending all your time by yourself after school. 521 00:21:03,523 --> 00:21:05,307 I've been trying to adjust. 522 00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,178 Well, guess what. You don't have to anymore. 523 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,571 That's all over now. 524 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:09,746 I rearranged my schedule 525 00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,531 so I can get home earlier. 526 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,663 Isn't that great? We're going to spend 527 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,752 a lot more time together. What do you say, 528 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,667 this weekend, you help me clean out the garage?