1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,002 Thank you for coming to the unveiling 2 00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:05,922 of my latest culinary creation. Max? 3 00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:11,010 Have you ever felt like the Big Mac wasn't big enough 4 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:13,346 or the Footlong wasn't feet long enough? 5 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,306 Have no fear, ladies and gentlemen, 6 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:19,185 and feast your eyes upon Steaktanic! 7 00:00:22,563 --> 00:00:24,440 Two pounds of meat. Steaktanic. 8 00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:25,733 One liter of garlic aioli. 9 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,485 Steaktanic. 10 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,404 A half a block of smoked Gouda, three layers of lettuce, 11 00:00:30,696 --> 00:00:32,573 iceberg, dead ahead. 12 00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:35,743 Wow, that is disgusting and illegal, I think. 13 00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:37,870 Steaktanic. I gotta do something. 14 00:00:38,162 --> 00:00:40,414 This hot-dog truck parking next to me, they're killing me. 15 00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:42,250 Oh, Dogs in Heat. That place is legit. 16 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:43,876 Oh, I love that commercial: 17 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,300 Their meat can be beat. I will beat their meat. 18 00:00:51,592 --> 00:00:54,303 This whole town will see me beating... 19 00:00:54,595 --> 00:00:56,305 Oh, I see. 20 00:00:57,890 --> 00:00:59,183 You know what you need? A commercial. 21 00:00:59,475 --> 00:01:00,518 Arm twisted. I'll direct it. 22 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,520 What? Yeah, remember my short film 23 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,397 I did in college, Dogleg Right? 24 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,440 The gripping tale of a semiprofessional golfer 25 00:01:06,732 --> 00:01:08,234 who had his leg amputated, 26 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,653 only to have it replaced by that of his German shepherd? 27 00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:13,114 Heart of a champion, leg of a champion dog. 28 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,991 Get those DVDs out of my garage. 29 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,493 Max, no offense. if I was gonna make a commercial, 30 00:01:17,785 --> 00:01:19,036 I'd hire a professional. 31 00:01:19,328 --> 00:01:21,539 So things are going great with my sweetums, Keith. 32 00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:23,499 Four dates in, all systems go. 33 00:01:23,791 --> 00:01:25,084 So we're not doing segues now? 34 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:26,502 I gave those up with gluten. 35 00:01:26,794 --> 00:01:28,170 - Mm. - Weird part is, 36 00:01:28,462 --> 00:01:30,756 now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. 37 00:01:31,048 --> 00:01:32,883 Oh, I know. Al. What? 38 00:01:33,175 --> 00:01:34,468 I should hook you up with my "extras." 39 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,554 You know my co-worker Teresa with the baby teeth? 40 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:38,264 Yeah. The big gums? 41 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,558 She told me about this guy, Liam, who sounded amazing. 42 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:43,102 Thank you, but I am enjoying being single, okay? 43 00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:44,729 Like when I go to the movies, 44 00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:47,940 I get to solve pre-movie trivia at my own pace. 45 00:01:48,232 --> 00:01:50,401 Did you know Jack Palance did his stunts for City Slickers 46 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:53,195 but didn't do them for the sequel? Yeah. 47 00:01:53,487 --> 00:01:56,365 You can give Liam my number. 48 00:01:56,657 --> 00:01:57,700 I think I'd better. 49 00:02:07,918 --> 00:02:10,129 Wow, Liam, this place looks amazing. 50 00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,089 Well, Penny mentioned you studied in France, 51 00:02:12,381 --> 00:02:13,341 and I thought of this place. 52 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,805 Oh, I got mono the first day, so the only French I know 53 00:02:20,097 --> 00:02:22,141 is from lying in bed watching Cheers reruns. 54 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:27,063 Norm! 55 00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:28,773 So tell me, who is Alex? 56 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:32,443 She's loving this bread, I'll tell you that. 57 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:34,945 You know, for a fancy place, it's sort of dead. 58 00:02:35,237 --> 00:02:36,238 Haven't they heard of a flyer? 59 00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:37,740 I have a little confession to make. 60 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:39,867 I rented out the entire restaurant. 61 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,119 I have planned an amazing evening. 62 00:02:42,411 --> 00:02:44,997 Whatever you desire is yours. 63 00:02:45,289 --> 00:02:47,208 In that case, 64 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,919 I'll have a little more of this bread. 65 00:02:53,589 --> 00:02:55,508 Land. Leap. 66 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,093 Honey, do you really need to practice 67 00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:59,970 your parkour exercises in the house? 68 00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:02,723 Babe. Okay, that's twice now. 69 00:03:03,015 --> 00:03:05,643 And you're sweating on my bruschetta. 70 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,437 Okay, as undistracting as all this is, 71 00:03:08,729 --> 00:03:09,980 you're not gonna be able to practice 72 00:03:10,272 --> 00:03:11,816 your little extreme walking for a few days, 73 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,192 because remember 74 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,944 my sorority sister Sara is coming to town 75 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,697 for her yearly visit. Oh, yeah. Sara's coming again. 76 00:03:17,988 --> 00:03:19,407 That's awesome. 77 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,576 I know. We are going to have so much fun entertaining her. 78 00:03:22,868 --> 00:03:24,537 First, we're gonna hit up that farmers market 79 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,789 and then take a visit to the Russian Tea Room. 80 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,374 Am I done? Nope, not "nyet." 81 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:29,875 Because when we want to crank it up, 82 00:03:30,167 --> 00:03:31,210 we're gonna go to that place 83 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,753 where you get custom perfumes made. 84 00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:34,672 It's gonna be nuts. What? 85 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:36,590 What are you doing? Raising the roof 86 00:03:36,882 --> 00:03:38,050 on signature scents right now. 87 00:03:38,342 --> 00:03:39,969 That is what's happening. 88 00:03:40,261 --> 00:03:42,012 Stop. All righty. 89 00:03:42,304 --> 00:03:43,514 Babe, I'm not gonna be here. 90 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,599 I have a work retreat in Michigan. What? 91 00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:47,435 Yeah. It's not the same without you. 92 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,520 I know. My retreat is not gonna be the same either. 93 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,439 I hate playing Capture the Flag without you. 94 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,899 Yeah, because I'm stealth as hell. 95 00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:55,901 You're damn right you are. Tiger roll! 96 00:03:58,446 --> 00:04:00,448 We okay? 97 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,158 You're gonna make an actual commercial 98 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,701 and not let me direct. 99 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,287 Max, it would be better to go with professionals, 100 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:07,830 not somebody who wears a turtleneck 101 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,498 he found on the ground. Ah-ha. 102 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,834 This is a mock turtleneck, and I found it in the garbage. 103 00:04:13,669 --> 00:04:15,713 Getting a phone call from my real buddy, Brad. 104 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,631 I bet he'd let me direct a commercial for him, 105 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:20,176 a commercial about friendship. 106 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,178 - Hello, amigo. - Max. 107 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:23,596 Need a favor, buddy. 108 00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,014 I forgot my sleep-apnea device. 109 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,432 I need you to bring it to my hotel. 110 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:27,266 In Michigan? I don't know where that is. 111 00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,518 You know Michigan is. 112 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,228 You were an extra in the movie 8 Mile. 113 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,773 And, uh, I'm not in Michigan, I'm in Chicago. 114 00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:35,441 What are you doing in Chicago? 115 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:38,527 Every year, Jane's annoying sorority sister comes. 116 00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:41,322 So last year I faked a retreat because I could not take it. 117 00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:45,618 We're easy, we're easy We're easy on the eyes 118 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:50,080 We're spread, we're spread We're spreading our wings 119 00:04:50,372 --> 00:04:52,082 We're soar, we're soar 120 00:04:52,374 --> 00:04:54,043 We're soaring Through the skies 121 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,294 Whoo! 122 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:56,712 It's just a staycation. 123 00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:59,006 I get to relax, make awesome staycation friends. 124 00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,717 Like, who did I meet today? 125 00:05:02,009 --> 00:05:03,469 That's Brent Musburger. 126 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:05,805 You are looking live at Brent Musburger. 127 00:05:06,096 --> 00:05:08,641 And his new best friend, Brad Williams. Back to you, Max. 128 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,643 What are you doing here? I stay here every time 129 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,728 I cover the Northwestern Wildcats. 130 00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:15,147 By the way, if you're hungry, they make a mean Musburger. 131 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,653 Why are we laughing? 132 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:24,156 I'm on a staycation, so who cares? 133 00:05:24,448 --> 00:05:27,076 So, Penny, are things still going well with Keith? 134 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,662 Yeah. Like, our date last night was great. 135 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:30,955 It was super low-key. 136 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,498 We ate grilled-cheese sandwiches. 137 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,416 We watched Con Air, talked about whatever. 138 00:05:34,708 --> 00:05:36,669 Life, love, daylight savings time. 139 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,212 Arizona doesn't even do it. 140 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,382 Speaking of dates, how was yours with Liam? 141 00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:42,925 I know first dates can be rough. 142 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,301 It was kind of crazy. 143 00:05:44,593 --> 00:05:45,886 He rented out the whole restaurant. 144 00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,513 Wow. Yeah. 145 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:48,347 That's a lot for a first date. 146 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:52,518 He had a private dancer teach us the moves to "Private Dancer." 147 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,979 That's my jam. Then we had a helicopter tour. 148 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,773 Well, my date was also awesome. 149 00:05:58,065 --> 00:06:00,150 It was so, ooh... 150 00:06:00,442 --> 00:06:04,238 Like, we watched Con Air with the director's commentary. 151 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,490 So here I am laughing and learning. 152 00:06:06,782 --> 00:06:09,660 Guess what. Sara just canceled last minute. 153 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,704 I'm having an entire pamper spa package 154 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,038 delivered in an hour. 155 00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:15,082 But I guess staging an intervention 156 00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:16,500 for her dad trumps all of that. 157 00:06:16,792 --> 00:06:18,335 So a helicopter tour? Yeah. 158 00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:20,963 Was that a Groupon or did he pay up front? What's the story? 159 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,340 What am I gonna do now? 160 00:06:23,632 --> 00:06:27,469 Hey, you guys wanna hang? We can pamper ourselves, ladies. 161 00:06:27,761 --> 00:06:30,472 Honey-roasted cashews, lavender-scented towels, 162 00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,099 coming in red-hot for you. 163 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:34,310 I can't. I have another date with Liam. 164 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,187 He's picking me up in a horse-drawn carriage for a ride. 165 00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:38,689 Slow down, Liam. 166 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,858 Yeah, well, Keith is picking me up 167 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,109 in the Batmobile. 168 00:06:42,401 --> 00:06:43,485 What? He's a bat exterminator 169 00:06:43,777 --> 00:06:45,279 and that's what his company calls the van, 170 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,865 but still very grand. 171 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,116 Thank you for coming 172 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:50,951 to my very first TV commercial. 173 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,413 Now, this is what the industry calls a "rough cut." 174 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,041 So it's not there yet, okay? 175 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:59,460 It's gotta go through various phases like the sound mix, 176 00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,295 which is different from sound design. 177 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,047 People don't know that. Stop. 178 00:07:03,339 --> 00:07:05,007 Play. 179 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,385 Hi. I'm Dave Rose. 180 00:07:08,677 --> 00:07:12,139 And this is my truck, Steak Me Home Tonight. 181 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:20,147 Here at Steak Me Home... Tonight 182 00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:23,233 we only use the finest ingredients. 183 00:07:25,527 --> 00:07:28,489 And if you happen to be browsing the internet, 184 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:32,785 visit my World Wide Web address. 185 00:07:47,257 --> 00:07:48,884 Well, that was... 186 00:07:49,176 --> 00:07:50,386 Horrible. No. 187 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,096 Yeah. Yeah. 188 00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:53,931 No, no. Hey. You were in it. 189 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:56,225 What am I gonna do? I already paid for airtime. 190 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,518 You can't show that to anyone. 191 00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,937 Dave, walk with me. 192 00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,897 Look, wanna know why that commercial sucked? 193 00:08:02,189 --> 00:08:03,649 Because you were working with a director 194 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,109 that doesn't know you 195 00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,820 and know that you are terrible on camera. 196 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:10,614 I know you and know how to get a great performance out of you. 197 00:08:10,906 --> 00:08:12,700 Dude, I'm the Dave Whisperer. 198 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,493 Yeah, but can you do it for no money? 199 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,912 I bartered for this outfit using illegal Mexican candy. 200 00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:18,205 I think I got this. 201 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,791 So you breathe through here 202 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,418 and it relaxes the muscles. 203 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,045 Plus you can pretend like you're scuba diving. 204 00:08:25,337 --> 00:08:27,464 Hold up. That's a puffer fish. 205 00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,675 No, thanks. I'm scared of the sea. 206 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,218 Man, quack like a little bitch. 207 00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:32,678 Quack. Damn it. 208 00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:34,138 Max forgot the regulator. 209 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,848 He's gotta go back to my apartment. 210 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,766 Your apartment? Don't know where that is. 211 00:08:38,058 --> 00:08:39,685 Come on, man. Jane's probably out with Sara, 212 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:40,978 but I can't take that chance. 213 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:45,983 Thanks, Max. 214 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,193 Dude, it's not a toy. 215 00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:56,910 What's happening here? 216 00:08:57,202 --> 00:08:59,747 Pen, I gotta say, with Sara canceling, 217 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,290 I've had the place to myself, 218 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:05,002 and it has been really, really great. 219 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,295 Picked up my knitting again. 220 00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:07,921 And you better believe 221 00:09:08,213 --> 00:09:10,007 that I don't stick to the conventional stitches. 222 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,178 I guess you could say I'm a knitter with attitude. 223 00:09:15,971 --> 00:09:17,181 My comedy's always been edgy. 224 00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:18,515 You know that. 225 00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,564 Strawberries. 226 00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:28,817 Hey, Jane. 227 00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:30,486 Max, what are you doing here? 228 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,362 I will never tell. 229 00:09:32,654 --> 00:09:34,114 Brad lied. He's not on a retreat. 230 00:09:34,406 --> 00:09:37,451 He's on a staycation. What? Tell me everything. 231 00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:38,869 I laugh at your request. 232 00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:42,748 Ow! He's downtown. He can't stand Sara. 233 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,500 I love your fashion. I don't believe it. 234 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,085 It's true. I'm serious. 235 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,921 The way you blend color is effortless and very tasteful. 236 00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,590 You need to leave. Fine. 237 00:09:57,137 --> 00:09:58,514 Good day. 238 00:10:02,643 --> 00:10:04,520 Brad, I'm pissed... 239 00:10:10,734 --> 00:10:14,029 ...on your behalf, 240 00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:17,658 because you're missing all the fun Sara and I are having. 241 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,618 What's that, Sare-Bear? 242 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:23,205 You're gonna stay an extra day? Fantastic. 243 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:27,376 Oh, I gotta go. I love you. Bye. 244 00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:32,965 Oh. 245 00:10:37,719 --> 00:10:39,304 This staycation is the best, man. 246 00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:41,849 If I was at home, I'd have to make surprise eyes 247 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,935 every time Sara would brag about her stupid homemade teas. 248 00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:48,063 What? You're selling oolong? That's crazy. 249 00:10:48,355 --> 00:10:50,232 Those are great surprise eyes. 250 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:51,692 It's a gift. 251 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:53,235 I'm sorry things aren't going well. 252 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,903 What do you mean, Brent Musburger? 253 00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:57,906 You're lying to your wife to get space. 254 00:10:58,198 --> 00:10:59,658 Awhite lie. You know what I mean? 255 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:00,659 That's what the Miami Hurricanes thought 256 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,996 on that muggy Friday afternoon 257 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:06,373 down in the Orange Bowl back in 1984. 258 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,041 Miami led 45-41, 259 00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:09,877 only five seconds left on the clock. 260 00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:11,712 Hurricanes thought they had it wrapped up, 261 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,463 but somebody else thought differently. 262 00:11:13,755 --> 00:11:14,840 And that somebody 263 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:17,426 was Douglas Richard Flutie. Flutie. 264 00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,095 Flutie back, flush to the right, 265 00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:23,056 he throws it down, 60 yards. 266 00:11:23,348 --> 00:11:25,726 It's caught. Caught by Boston College. 267 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:27,227 The Eagles win it. 268 00:11:27,519 --> 00:11:29,021 I don't believe it. I don't believe it. 269 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,397 Wow. 270 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,232 So Miami thought they didn't have anything 271 00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:35,068 to worry about and blew it. 272 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,653 I totally get it. 273 00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:38,614 By lying to my wife and taking her for granted, 274 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,741 I could be blindsided by a Hail Mary pass 275 00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,159 that shoots through my marriage. 276 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,077 No, my point is 277 00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:47,497 Miami got a little lazy with that Cover 2 defense. 278 00:11:47,789 --> 00:11:49,750 I gotta go, Brent Musburger. 279 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,670 Don't ever change. 280 00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:57,216 Hello, Keith. Hey, Pen. 281 00:11:57,507 --> 00:11:59,551 Why are you dressed so nice? 282 00:11:59,843 --> 00:12:02,304 Did someone die? No. 283 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:05,766 But you're funny. I was thinking we should go dancing. 284 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,768 Hm? 285 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,479 It's noon. Plus I got us some burgers for lunch. 286 00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,439 Oh! You know what we should do? 287 00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,900 We should eat those burgers in a hot-air balloon 288 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,486 and then just ride it all the way to Santa Barbara. 289 00:12:17,778 --> 00:12:20,155 What do you think? What are you talking about? 290 00:12:20,447 --> 00:12:22,991 I'm talking about taking our dating to the next level, 291 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,535 to the jet stream, in a balloon, 292 00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:28,830 and then landing that balloon in a hidden vineyard, 293 00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:31,124 where we get drunk on Santa Barbaran Malbec 294 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:33,835 and we feed each other local spot prawns as we... 295 00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:35,879 Ow. 296 00:12:36,171 --> 00:12:37,422 Are you okay? 297 00:12:39,174 --> 00:12:40,425 Just give me a burger. 298 00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:42,052 Oh, man, the commercial's almost on. 299 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,679 I hope people like it. 300 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,181 Relax. We didn't make this to please the masses. 301 00:12:46,473 --> 00:12:47,766 Max, this is a commercial. That's why we made it. 302 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:49,935 How are things going with Liam? 303 00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,437 Honestly, he's annoying. 304 00:12:52,729 --> 00:12:55,023 I mean, all the grand gestures are getting exhausting. 305 00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:56,650 Like last night, all I wanted to do 306 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,443 was watch The Princess Bride. 307 00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:01,196 See, I told you I could keep it mellow. 308 00:13:01,488 --> 00:13:02,614 Sort of. 309 00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:04,324 The director was on my ass in this scene. 310 00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:06,159 I told him, "You want someone to phone it in, 311 00:13:06,451 --> 00:13:07,786 "get Kirk Cameron. 312 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:11,331 You want someone to be a savage, you get Fred Savage." 313 00:13:11,623 --> 00:13:12,582 interesting. 314 00:13:12,874 --> 00:13:14,710 Hey, I saw hummus in the fridge. 315 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,461 Is that for the house, or... 316 00:13:16,753 --> 00:13:18,547 is that something I could jump in on? 317 00:13:18,839 --> 00:13:21,216 Yeah, go ahead. 318 00:13:21,508 --> 00:13:22,968 It's all just too much. 319 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,845 I want Liam. What? 320 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:28,181 Well, technically, he was mine in the first place. 321 00:13:28,473 --> 00:13:31,018 And what if it's meant to be? You don't wanna tempt fate, Al. 322 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,061 Like when you entered a brisket-eating contest 323 00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:34,604 before that loan interview? 324 00:13:34,896 --> 00:13:36,231 Ugh. Not my finest moment. 325 00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:37,607 Oh, commercial, it's on. 326 00:13:37,899 --> 00:13:39,526 It's on. 327 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,946 I remember when my dad and I would just sit on a park bench, 328 00:13:43,238 --> 00:13:45,866 have a hot dog, and just talk about whatever. 329 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,243 It was the best. 330 00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:52,247 That's where my love of Chicago street food came from. 331 00:13:52,539 --> 00:13:54,458 The hot dog had given me so much. 332 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:55,876 When I was a kid, wanted to give 333 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,545 something back, something new. 334 00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:01,840 So the next time you're craving a hot dog, have one of these. 335 00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,010 Thanks, Dad. 336 00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:10,307 That was amazing. 337 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,100 Really? Yeah. 338 00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:13,727 I didn't understand the dog barking 339 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,979 or Puerto Rican guys playing checkers, 340 00:14:16,271 --> 00:14:18,398 but I have never seen you more comfortable. 341 00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:21,693 I know, right? And I have my director to thank for that. 342 00:14:21,985 --> 00:14:24,821 He did, as they say, "help me find my performance." 343 00:14:25,113 --> 00:14:26,323 Know what else is great choice? 344 00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,158 You never had Dave say the name of the truck. 345 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,868 It's like a bar that doesn't have a sign. 346 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,244 Only cool people know about it. 347 00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:33,455 We said the name of the truck. Yeah. 348 00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:36,041 Or how you never mentioned or showed steak sandwiches. 349 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,959 Of course, we showed the steak sandwich. 350 00:14:38,251 --> 00:14:39,628 It's clear what we were trying to sell. 351 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:40,962 Yeah. Hot dogs? 352 00:14:41,254 --> 00:14:43,632 Because you said that like 17 times. 353 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,175 No, we said steak sandwich. 354 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:47,427 Yeah, we said it quite a bit. 355 00:14:47,719 --> 00:14:49,554 Yeah, we... We said s... 356 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:54,893 Come on, hurry up. I'm trying. 357 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,562 Pick it up. I'm trying. 358 00:14:57,854 --> 00:14:59,439 I didn't DVR it. 359 00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:02,901 Hey, boo, I'm home. 360 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,404 Where's my Sare-Bear? 361 00:15:05,695 --> 00:15:08,281 I wanna hear how those Earl Greys are selling. Huh? 362 00:15:08,573 --> 00:15:10,867 It looks nice in here. It's cute. 363 00:15:11,159 --> 00:15:13,370 Using the honeysuckle candles for company, huh? 364 00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,705 Dipping into my private stock? That's cool. 365 00:15:15,997 --> 00:15:17,332 I'm all right with that. 366 00:15:17,624 --> 00:15:19,668 I love you, baby. Love you. 367 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,087 Oh, you got the wine cracking? That's what's up. 368 00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,131 Nice little card. 369 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:30,846 "Sorry I had to cancel our visit. Love, Sara." 370 00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:33,014 - She canceled? - Hey. 371 00:15:36,351 --> 00:15:40,480 Oh, Lenke, that facial was so relaxing. 372 00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:44,443 I totally "T-zoned" out. 373 00:15:44,734 --> 00:15:47,195 You know, because the T-zone on your face? 374 00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:49,865 No? Nothing. Okay. 375 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,992 Let's get started on my seaweed wrap 376 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,577 because my mani-pedi lady comes at 7, 377 00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,871 and I really wanna make the most of this staycation. 378 00:16:00,375 --> 00:16:03,044 Hey, boo. Brad? Brad. 379 00:16:03,336 --> 00:16:06,256 Well, you're home a day early. 380 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,176 You remember Sara. Right? 381 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,219 We're soar, we're soar 382 00:16:11,511 --> 00:16:13,847 We're soaring Through the sky 383 00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:19,978 Brad, what are you doing here now? 384 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,354 Work retreat got cut short. 385 00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:23,106 Decided to come home, see my honey bunny. 386 00:16:24,691 --> 00:16:27,319 Hey, Sara! You look different. 387 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,779 No, Sara's actually not here, 388 00:16:30,071 --> 00:16:32,073 because she just left. 389 00:16:32,365 --> 00:16:35,911 Ah, there was a huge tea disaster 390 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,704 back at the warehouse. I mean, it fiooded 391 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,915 and then it burst into flames. 392 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,667 And now there is a river of hot Darjeeling 393 00:16:42,959 --> 00:16:45,003 just coursing through Cambridge, Massachusetts. 394 00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:48,882 It's no Boston Tea Party, if you know what I mean. 395 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,258 Nothing. 396 00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:51,635 Basic American civics. 397 00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,011 That's what happened? Tea fire? 398 00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:54,888 Yeah. It's a shame. 399 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,974 But enough about me. How was that work retreat? 400 00:16:58,266 --> 00:17:00,519 It was... It was great. Yeah. It was great. 401 00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:05,065 Uh, there were rope courses, trust falls, stuff like that. 402 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,985 Uh, turns out I'm actually light as a feather, stiff as a board, 403 00:17:09,277 --> 00:17:11,029 so got that going for me. 404 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,407 Well, sounds like you had a really eventful weekend. 405 00:17:14,699 --> 00:17:18,036 Sounds like you did too. 406 00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,917 You went on a staycation! No, you went on a staycation! 407 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,002 You're questioning me? How do we stop doing this? 408 00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:27,754 I have no idea! 409 00:17:30,298 --> 00:17:32,551 I'm glad Liam was cool with the old switcheroo. 410 00:17:32,842 --> 00:17:34,553 I know. Wonder things he's got planned. 411 00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:35,804 You'll see. 412 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,099 Ooh. Here he is. 413 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:42,310 Hello, my ladies. 414 00:17:42,602 --> 00:17:43,061 How do I find you on this eve? 415 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:47,107 What's up, Liam? Sweet costume. 416 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,608 Anyhow, have fun. 417 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,193 No backsies. 418 00:17:50,485 --> 00:17:53,822 So great to finally meet you. And I the same. 419 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,992 Teresa, the duchess of your Accounts Receivable Department, 420 00:17:57,284 --> 00:17:59,828 did not speak false when she said you were beautiful. 421 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,206 Tonight we shall dine in the medieval wing 422 00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:06,084 of the Art institute. We shan't tarry another minute. 423 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,254 We shan't. We shan't not, my... 424 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:12,340 I don't speak English. I mean, British. Let's just go. 425 00:18:12,632 --> 00:18:14,634 Bye. 426 00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:17,387 How did we forget to say I sell steak sandwiches? 427 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,930 Relax. 428 00:18:19,222 --> 00:18:21,516 No one knows what commercials sell what products. 429 00:18:21,808 --> 00:18:24,019 Like Old Spice commercial with the black guy in the shower. 430 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:25,729 What's he selling? Old Spice. 431 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,481 The Old Spice commercial with the black guy in the shower. 432 00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:30,734 What is he se...? Oh, he's selling Old Spice. 433 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,323 Well, it's pretty quiet around here. 434 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,617 I guess I should go ahead and pack her up for the night. 435 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,038 Hey, man. 436 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,331 Sorry I let you down. 437 00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:46,333 Oh, no, man, we're in it together. 438 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,876 I mean, it was your idea, you shot it, 439 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,628 and you locked me out of the editing room, 440 00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:52,464 but it's on me too. 441 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,883 They call it Hollywood, not "Holly-friends." 442 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,135 - We're not in Hollywood. - Dude. 443 00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:59,346 I saw your commercial. I loved it. 444 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:00,930 You did? Yeah. 445 00:19:01,222 --> 00:19:02,974 You spoke from the heart, you know? 446 00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:04,976 I called my dad for the first time in nine years. 447 00:19:05,268 --> 00:19:07,312 - Awesome. - Yeah. 448 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:08,772 Well, we're gonna go get hot dogs, 449 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,857 then play checkers with some Puerto Rican guys. 450 00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,442 - See you. - Let's go, son. 451 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,361 - Dad, this is great. - I love you. 452 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,489 We did it. 453 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:20,450 Take it myself. 454 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,165 Why don't you have pasta salad, 455 00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:31,044 have something in your mouth other than lies? 456 00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,630 Okay. And while I'm doing that, 457 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:34,881 why don't you catch a movie? 458 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,841 Like Liar Liar 459 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:38,843 or What Lies Beneath. 460 00:19:39,135 --> 00:19:41,471 Ooh, or Narnia. There's a lion in it. 461 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,723 Babe, what are we doing? 462 00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:46,518 Are we lying to each other so we don't have to be together? 463 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,269 Brad, we love being together. 464 00:19:48,561 --> 00:19:52,107 I mean, come on, everyone wishes they had our mojo, yo. 465 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,234 Yeah, I said that. Let's keep moving. 466 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,111 We're coming back. Okay, fair enough. 467 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,987 Look, we go on trips together. 468 00:19:58,279 --> 00:19:59,489 We go to the movies together. 469 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,199 We even go cheese shopping together. 470 00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:04,327 Yeah, like I can trust you to pick a good Camembert. 471 00:20:04,619 --> 00:20:07,580 But there's nothing wrong having a little private time too. 472 00:20:07,872 --> 00:20:10,291 Honestly, didn't you like having a little Brad time? 473 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:12,085 Well, it was nice watching The Boondocks, 474 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,837 not having to explain why it's funny. 475 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,588 I wanna love it. I don't get it. 476 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,716 Sometimes I don't get it. Maybe it's okay 477 00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:20,552 if once a year Sara comes to visit, 478 00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:23,138 and you have to go on a last-minute work retreat. 479 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,098 Babe, I was lying about work retreats. 480 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,517 We usually go on, like, an off-site... 481 00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,769 Oh, it's a metaphor. 482 00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:31,855 I get it. Yeah, you will get it. 483 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,573 Mm. Oh, my God. Oh. 484 00:20:45,326 --> 00:20:47,704 And after dinner, they brought two horses 485 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:49,247 into the museum courtyard. Shut up. 486 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:53,084 Liam and his friend dressed up as knights and jousted over me. 487 00:20:53,376 --> 00:20:55,920 It was the most romantic night of my life. 488 00:20:56,212 --> 00:20:58,047 It sounds super romantic. 489 00:20:58,339 --> 00:21:00,175 Oh, you know what? Keith showed up after you left. 490 00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:01,718 Really? Yeah. 491 00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,637 Well, the guy is devastated. Was he destroyed? 492 00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:06,723 It was rough. But we ended up hanging out. 493 00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:10,685 Making English-muffin pizzas, talking. It was nice. 494 00:21:10,977 --> 00:21:12,270 It was? Yeah. 495 00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:13,813 After those extravagant dates 496 00:21:14,105 --> 00:21:15,607 where I'm, like, hunting quail, 497 00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:18,067 it was nice to kick back and connect with someone. 498 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,070 It was perfect and so simple. 499 00:21:22,697 --> 00:21:24,741 Hmm. 500 00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:26,117 I want Keith back.