1
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:04,963
Elizabeth!

2
00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:09,843
Know Matthew McConaughey cup
How does it work?

3
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,638
Pour coffee in and his shirt disappears.

4
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,267
What if I run out of coffee?

5
00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,935
Austria appears again.

6
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:23,064
Correct. If I want to see
Matthew McConaughey wears a shirt,

7
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,315
then looked at Josh Lucas.

8
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,444
Go away, Elizabeth.

9
00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:30,739
Hi Elizabeth.

10
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,658
Ready to go to lunch?

11
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,410
I booked that place in Chelsea

12
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,620
There are also wax colors and leather plate holders.

13
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,041
Oh, it's a family restaurant
"S and M" I like.

14
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,669
But it's okay.

15
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,964
Must prepare for interview
George Takei, Star Trek.

16
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,091
Sulu?

17
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,510
Lieutenant Sulu on Jack Talk?

18
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,556
He is truly an inspiration,
when he went public.

19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,058
I'm a big fan.

20
00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,602
I'm not into Star Trek. Very bland.

21
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:01,728
I am...

22
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,480
I am "Sulu head".

23
00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,441
The elite subset of people will be curved

24
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,985
saw contact with Sulu early on,

25
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,155
based on sensitivity
and Captain Kirk's look.

26
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,034
Here it is...

27
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,912
"Queen of the Night Owls", Jack McForeman.

28
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,539
Not right, right?

29
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:23,875
Is there a big star today?

30
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,419
George Hosato Takei, Hikaru Sulu on TV.

31
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,714
I remember everything,
Except "McFarland"?

32
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,511
Jack, there's a big corporation
bought Public TV.

33
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,387
- Huh?
- Just have to know...

34
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,598
Jack Talk will not be affected.

35
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:40,934
- Understand?
- Yes, Jamie.

36
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:42,227
I don't understand.

37
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,812
You can,

38
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,730
because my boyfriend agrees.

39
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:51,986
I can hand out harassment lawsuit flyers
sex in this hallway and retire.

40
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,405
See you later, Jack.

41
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,409
Oh, there's a small change,
you'll have a host,

42
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,495
Unbelievable.

43
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,914
The contract stated "no leads".

44
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,290
Actually it is:

45
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,625
"don't eat ho-ho's".

46
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,710
Calm down, Blue Eyes.

47
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,629
Just to increase the audience,

48
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,381
Add a new perspective.

49
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:15,093
This host better not take center stage.

50
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,302
I have a real toad...

51
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:18,346
Child "Ed McMahon".

52
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,266
Hello!

53
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:24,644
I'm Amber-Louise
from the great state of Alabama.

54
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:26,521
So great...

55
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:27,564
an Englishman.

56
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,790
God, you make me look so flirtatious.

57
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,251
Very good.

58
00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,463
Thank. My friend is
Gay men like to wear women's clothes.

59
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,092
Don't judge. I'm just making faces.

60
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,760
I'm not stuffing or anything.

61
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:06,519
What do you want, lipstick, eyelash extensions?

62
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,563
Oh, I won't buy it today.

63
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:10,857
Not really needed. Pregnant.

64
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,567
I glow naturally.

65
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,614
You have the guts to say that.

66
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:22,493
Hey Grace...

67
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,330
Look at you.

68
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:26,831
You know...

69
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:32,170
Most girls get pregnant
and was abandoned by the love of his life...

70
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,379
are all a bit sad.

71
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:35,632
You...

72
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,510
You just apply it thickly
as if truly believing that

73
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,013
Someone will find you attractive.

74
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,226
You are so brave.

75
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:52,273
I'm just so excited for this baby.

76
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,444
There is someone to love and care for throughout life.

77
00:03:56,527 --> 00:03:57,570
What a...

78
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,573
- That's great.
- Well...

79
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,117
Grace, when...

80
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,827
When you say that...

81
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,331
You also make me want it.

82
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:11,626
This.

83
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,253
I will.

84
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,004
I will have a baby!

85
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,216
Great. Go get the baby.

86
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,468
But remember, if in the stroller,

87
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:21,386
then there is an owner.

88
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,389
I'll go upstairs and buy giant bras

89
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,182
Or as the world calls it:

90
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,100
"Cup B".

91
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,229
Sorry, Cricket.

92
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,900
Can I hire you to give birth to my child?

93
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,777
Huh? Are not.

94
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,280
Pregnancy is the most sacred thing.

95
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,115
Cannot be priced.

96
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,326
One hundred thousand dollars
and tummy tuck surgery.

97
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,203
Mary-Jane, replace me.

98
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,871
I'm going on maternity leave!

99
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,668
So excited!

100
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:56,421
I was only on TV as a child

101
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:58,881
and that's because the neighbor shot his wife.

102
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,175
Very sad.

103
00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:03,553
But because she died and he passed away,

104
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,930
I was able to use their swimming pool for two summers.

105
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,353
And that's Jack Talk, Amber-Louise...

106
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:14,063
In misfortune there is luck.

107
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,357
Come on, let's sit down.

108
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,651
If you want to be my guide,

109
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,570
You have to know how to keep up, okay?

110
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:24,741
Because the show is crazy at times.

111
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:29,120
I jumped around. Play on words.
Even rhyme.

112
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,248
So crazy...

113
00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:34,709
It's very rainy.

114
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:39,505
Five more minutes to shoot.
Matthew's cup is nowhere to be found.

115
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,257
Find it, Elizabeth Ann.

116
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,594
I'm Dave.

117
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,845
I'm not bent at all.

118
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:47,680
Not at all.

119
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,517
Hey, back to the barn, hetero!

120
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,064
Has George Takei arrived yet?

121
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,482
I want him to sign.

122
00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,610
They produce this doll
after he went public.

123
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:01,569
Listen...

124
00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:03,863
Take me down, Scotty.

125
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,490
I'm going shopping.

126
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:09,827
Good, huh?

127
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:10,745
He also said:

128
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,413
"This planet has breathing gas,

129
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,498
and Gucci".

130
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,461
Please leave George Takei.

131
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,379
The truth is that today he wore...

132
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,297
very bad.

133
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,801
Jack, wait.

134
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,469
That Star Wars guy,

135
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,262
It's been pushed to tomorrow.

136
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,391
As people say,

137
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,102
"Takei Bede, tomorrow".

138
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,855
Why didn't anyone report?

139
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:43,194
Instead, the parent company thinks that
I should try a separate section,

140
00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:46,114
and I call her "Wistful Amber-Louise".

141
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:48,491
Today's topic is...

142
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,077
"If you doubt our president,

143
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,662
is a traitor".

144
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:56,833
Long live homosexuality!

145
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,209
Where does this come from?

146
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,755
What the hell?

147
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,633
Jamie, who bought Publicity TV?

148
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,718
Nimbus Television

149
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,388
owned by Digi-City Global,

150
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:13,474
and that's part of the Department of Homeland Security...

151
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,519
and I believe owned by Nabisco.

152
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,816
The Biscuit and Bush administrations.

153
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:26,154
The mortal enemy of the gay community
joined forces to bring us down.

154
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:31,993
Cricket.

155
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:35,788
It seems she is very healthy to be a surrogate for me.

156
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,666
She passed the breast test.

157
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:41,586
Yeah, about that.

158
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,421
Don't doctors do it?

159
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:47,550
Why?

160
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,677
Let her also suffer?

161
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:55,516
Karen, surrogate contract
You asked Will to set up...

162
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:58,311
Wait, what are you doing here wearing makeup?

163
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,105
I don't take lipstick. It fell into my pocket.

164
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,524
It's a surrogate.

165
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,734
Are you happy?

166
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,112
I have a name too.

167
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,864
It's Cricket Walker.

168
00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,992
Karen, I can't...

169
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:14,702
Wait, you took the last name Karen?

170
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,288
We will have children together.

171
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:20,917
I'm a bit old-fashioned.

172
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:25,880
She called?

173
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,549
Yes, Lurch.

174
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,763
Cricket will be with us.

175
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:37,725
Arrange her wardrobe and her favorite foods

176
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,061
and implanted her with a location chip.

177
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,441
Is she telling the truth?

178
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:50,655
Hey, she's the reason I have a house

179
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,448
and two million dollars in funds

180
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,158
By 35 I will be taken.

181
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,622
Karen, this is crazy.

182
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,250
It's your friend that I said...

183
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,503
It wasn't the evil voice that guided him.

184
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,344
How dare you judge me?

185
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:17,473
You got pregnant because of sex
with my ex-husband on the plane

186
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,308
and haven't told him yet.

187
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,104
You don't want anyone else to get pregnant

188
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:24,981
Because you want to be the center.

189
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,233
Oh, okay.

190
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,819
Well, it turns out that's the case.

191
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,364
Since I have a baby, you have to have one too.

192
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,490
He's jealous.

193
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:35,616
It's ridiculous.

194
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:36,951
You know,

195
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:40,663
Most women will be delighted
when we get pregnant together

196
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,082
with a surrogate
at my best friend's cosmetics counter.

197
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:51,507
Maybe you're just jealous because you only have babies,

198
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,925
and I just had a baby,

199
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,427
Just got a free makeup bag!

200
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,563
What is Amber-Louise doing on the show?

201
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:08,983
Sing and dance
Attacking Hilary Clinton's career?

202
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,068
Quite controversial.

203
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:12,570
This move?

204
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,327
It's so old. We will receive a paper letter.

205
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,205
Jack, Public TV
bought by right-wing conservatives.

206
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:26,417
Amber-Louise just is
spokesperson for the new boss.

207
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,045
I know how she got accepted.

208
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,089
But I don't want to say, because "greenhouse"...

209
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,721
They took advantage of your program.

210
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,931
The audience at the studio also changed.

211
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,642
Some people wear mullet hair...

212
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,479
but not gay.

213
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:51,776
Jamie, is it true?

214
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:52,735
Right.

215
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,113
If you don't cooperate,
will be branched.

216
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,199
That's not the case.

217
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,287
I won't change.

218
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:07,208
I won't let it happen
program to the left...

219
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:09,585
- Right wing.
- ...right-wing trash runs

220
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,920
- Democracy...
- Republic.

221
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,129
...Polite Republican.

222
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,677
Agenda.

223
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,973
Very good. Glad you didn't compromise.

224
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,017
I don't want to see you accept it.

225
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,519
It's not what you think.

226
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:30,689
Oh, Jack.

227
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,817
I think maybe during the interview,

228
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,610
We can ask difficult questions.

229
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:37,780
It's not like I'm bothering or torturing them...

230
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,532
I'm not against torture.

231
00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:42,868
Sometimes that's the only way
to get reliable information.

232
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:44,954
Forget it, AL.

233
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,372
Constant.

234
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:50,000
Jack Talk will remain upright
as ever.

235
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,712
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready
for tomorrow's segment.

236
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,589
"Take a photo of your dog's poop."

237
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:59,635
Jack, you're making a big mistake.

238
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,597
If you want to reach the top,
must be polite like me.

239
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:05,683
What compromise did you make?

240
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,268
Alright.

241
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,521
Tell me a little secret.

242
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,023
I'm not what you think.

243
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:14,900
My real name is Peg

244
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,610
and I'm a lesbian.

245
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,824
I love playing with leather goods.
manly, farting, black woman

246
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,034
"pull the curtain on the private area" and "rub the private area".

247
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:27,455
What do you have?

248
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,498
I will eat, inhale or ride.

249
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:34,879
Listen...

250
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,298
Just cooperate and you'll be fine.

251
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:38,507
Look at me.

252
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,718
I make $165 a week.

253
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:42,052
I moved out of storage.

254
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,387
Be on TV!

255
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,058
I am that dream.

256
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,355
This case is very convincing.

257
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,233
I have to struggle for a moment.

258
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,277
Elizabeth, get the baby oil!

259
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,324
Cricket?

260
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,329
I watched you on the screen all the time...

261
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,501
she seems unhappy.

262
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,421
What can I do?
to make you feel more comfortable?

263
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,591
She knew she always walked around the house drunk

264
00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,551
and then play candy and all?

265
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,430
Then follow me into the bathroom

266
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,391
and poured hot coffee on me

267
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:33,479
Then I climbed back into bed and cried

268
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,981
And make me hold you until you sleep?

269
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,776
You have to stop.

270
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,155
She is so lovely.

271
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:47,159
Why don't I see your husband?

272
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,037
He's on business in the Philippines.

273
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,372
I like them very much.

274
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,916
Asian but not sophisticated.

275
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,463
He's coming back and I want to see him right away.

276
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,882
When possible, I want to meet

277
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,218
before he puts the laundry in
into my basket.

278
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:07,930
I'm not 20 anymore.

279
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,935
Oh, honey, I thought.

280
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,479
It's probably best that you don't meet Stanley.

281
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,148
Why? Is he famous?

282
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,026
Stanley Tucci?

283
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,695
Oh my god, it's Stanley Tucci!

284
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,446
I have Stanley Tucci's baby!

285
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,785
No, not Stanley Tucci.

286
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,786
Come on, sit down.

287
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,122
The thing is...

288
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,750
I haven't told my husband yet.

289
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,711
I will keep it a secret.

290
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,796
Yes, when the baby is born,

291
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,632
I'll keep it in a Pringles box
and put it on the kitchen cabinet

292
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,259
and then when he opened the box,

293
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:47,511
the baby puffs out and he will be so happy.

294
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:52,308
You two will probably be able to keep it
life for the baby?

295
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,438
Will try.

296
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:03,527
Five minutes, Mr. Takei.

297
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,237
Oh, have you received the gift basket yet?

298
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,948
Only half-eaten scones
and dirty freezer bags.

299
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,825
Just wanted to make sure you got it.

300
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,749
Mr. Takei, I'm a big fan.

301
00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,250
Can you sign the doll?

302
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,293
Oh my God.

303
00:15:19,877 --> 00:15:21,086
Sounds really girly.

304
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,631
I admire you very much.

305
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:24,882
Can you sign the doll for me?

306
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:26,675
Of course.

307
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,969
I admire him when he comes out publicly.

308
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:29,887
I already know.

309
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:33,599
Like the Yeoman Rand episode
wearing that off-the-shoulder dress?

310
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,225
I swear I accidentally said:

311
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,144
"Stunningly beautiful".

312
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:39,647
That's right.

313
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,524
Shatner laughed until his belt broke.

314
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,488
Oh, George, what a pleasure.

315
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,615
Hey, are you done with the gift bag?

316
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,909
I have swimsuits I want to bring home.

317
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:53,953
Hello.

318
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,788
I'm Amber-Louise.

319
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:57,414
Pleased.

320
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,083
God bless America.

321
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,085
I mean all Americans,

322
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,630
including those who have to go to jail
without due process.

323
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,466
Listen, George.

324
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:10,135
TV station requested
Don't talk about homosexuality

325
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,846
or General Mills products.

326
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,014
Huh?

327
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,266
He won't do that.

328
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,768
And know why?

329
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:20,020
Because this is Sulu,

330
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,189
Star Trek's first sailor.

331
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,774
Do you know what that movie is about?

332
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:25,985
Stone made of paper mache

333
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,320
and Christmas lights poking through the sign?

334
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,950
It's about patience and acceptance,

335
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,744
regardless of skin color, breed or hair type.

336
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,163
Does Spock hide his ears?

337
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,374
Does Uhura hide her femininity?

338
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,625
Does Sulu hide it?

339
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,838
Yes, but back then it was different, it was forgivable.

340
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,718
The main thing is that no one is up there
destroy your nature.

341
00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:55,931
Is the movie about that?

342
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,892
Glad I joined.

343
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,480
Come on Jack, it's started.
Make up your mind, George.

344
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,107
Agree or disagree with us?

345
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,025
"We"

346
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,317
It's the army.

347
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,492
George, Jack will do it right.

348
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,454
Why don't you go get some Oreos?
Suddenly it's everywhere?

349
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,915
What are you doing? Can't be bullied.

350
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,376
I don't want to lose my job.

351
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,337
I worked too hard to lose everything.

352
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:34,094
Yes, Jack, you worked
very long and arduous,

353
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,555
But he never destroyed himself.

354
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,308
Jack, come on up. Coffee here.

355
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:42,186
Elizabeth, this isn't it
Mathew McConaughey cup.

356
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,063
The station won't let you keep it anymore.

357
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,023
Now you have to drink a cup of Salma Hayek.

358
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,279
Airing in five, four, three, two...

359
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,075
Welcome to Chat USA.

360
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,702
Hi, I'm Amber-Louise and this is Jack.

361
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,872
Today's special guest
famous in outer space,

362
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:03,290
but about the earth,

363
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:06,543
he is a legend among women
and protect life...

364
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:07,461
No!

365
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:09,713
Just bear with it!

366
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,050
George Takei is the queen
dancing and giggling!

367
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,349
I wouldn't say he's straight
to defame reputation.

368
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,352
Will is right!

369
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,853
Live a hundred years!

370
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,984
I have never destroyed myself
And now it won't either.

371
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,488
No one deserves to be forced
must drink the Salma Hayek cup.

372
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:37,741
I take it.

373
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,499
You will probably be happy to know...

374
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,084
"Bicket cross".

375
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,466
Meaning "Bicket cr".

376
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,553
Damn it! It's hard to say.

377
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,179
Okay, let me try again.

378
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,765
"Bicket" will not spawn "cron" for me.

379
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,148
Karen, why do you suddenly want to have a baby?

380
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,151
If it weren't for me,

381
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,485
There must be a reason.

382
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:14,987
Don't tell me it is

383
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,990
to have baby Jesus
for the Nativity display.

384
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,121
Okay, Grace, can you stop it?

385
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,290
Let's talk about something more fun.

386
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:27,875
So...

387
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,630
Who has a mole as big as an eyeball on their thigh?

388
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,843
You know what? Leave.

389
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,013
I tried to be friends and for some reason,

390
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,264
you don't let...

391
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:44,308
No, Grace.

392
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,938
Stanley and I had problems and I...

393
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,483
I thought having children would help the situation.

394
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,613
Oh, Karen, I don't know.

395
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,239
- YES.
- I'm so sorry.

396
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:04,578
Since his resurrection, he's been very different.

397
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:11,210
Not like a zombie or anything, but...

398
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,590
I don't know, making love is very different.

399
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:21,178
God, I don't know how to describe it
because we "fart" or "rub there".

400
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,313
Have you tried lighting candles?

401
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,402
I was going to leave him, Grace.

402
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:41,907
Oh, Karen.

403
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:48,747
Alright.

404
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,376
Maybe I have some people
brings Guantanamo Bay

405
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,086
and low-fat Triscuit...

406
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:57,589
But at least I left with dignity.

407
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:01,051
Amber-Louise, get me back!

408
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,053
Go away, you bastard!

409
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:04,596
Poured out all the Skittles!

410
00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:06,598
Get down quickly!

411
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,350
Let's go, Amber-Louise!

412
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:09,851
I need this!

413
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,145
Leave with dignity, remember Jack?

414
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,608
Subtitles translated by Nguyen Hong Ngoc