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Mundësuar and Titruar nga Cineal
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Official movies site:Cineal
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Terrific!
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So I put my finger here, and check this...
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the watch tells me I have a heart problem.
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Wouldn't a mirror tell you the same thing?
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Yeah, but this has weather, too.
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Okay.
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We got an hour until we're meeting the
ladies for dinner.
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- Yeah. - You wanna catch a beer?
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I can't. I gotta run a few errands.
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What? You don't want a beer? What's wrong?
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I...
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got the results back from the detective
exam.
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You failed again? This is why I never took
that test.
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All the anxiety and disappointment.
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At some point, you have to realize you
have hit your ceiling
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and just give up.
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You know, you should go around and speak
at schools.
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- That was very inspiring. - I should.
Kids need to hear this shit.
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I don't get it, man.
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I know all the answers, I just freeze
under pressure.
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You know, I can't take the exam for, like,
three more months,
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so I gotta continue lying to Audrey.
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So when we're at dinner tonight, please,
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- tell your wi... - Ah! No.
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Come on, man. You know I'll lie for you
anytime.
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I will cover up dead bodies for you.
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But if I ask Holly to lie to your wife,
there's no way we're messing around.
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It's Freaky Friday!
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You don't have to lie, just tell her to
ignore when I'm lying.
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That's it.
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- Okay, fine. - Thank you.
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You owe me.
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See you tonight.
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I gotta get Claritin. Claritin.
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Oh, my God! Look!
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He took her in a helicopter?
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My husband won't even pay for Uber Black.
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Yeah. I don't even... I can't even
remember the last time
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that Nick did anything even remotely
romantic.
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I mean, he used to leave me, like, cute
little mixtapes,
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little love notes in the bathroom.
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Love notes are dead.
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When my husband wants to have sex,
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he just texts me the eggplant and doughnut
emoji.
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Eggplant and doughnut...
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Oh. He's the eggplant.
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More like a fingerling potato.
50
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It doesn't take that much.
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There are guys at the intersection selling
flowers.
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You just roll down the window, grab a
bunch, bring 'em home.
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- I mean, they couldn't make it any
easier. - No kidding.
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I mean, tomorrow is our 15th wedding
anniversary.
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I'm still waiting on that trip to Europe
he promised me on our wedding day.
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- That's been 15 years? - Yeah.
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I could have walked to Europe by now.
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You know, you just have to tell him.
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I just don't want to have to tell him. I
just want him to know.
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- No, they never just know. - I know.
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- That doesn't happen. - You have to tell
men everything.
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If you want the dishes to not go in the
sink, you have to tell them.
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If you want him to shower before he comes
to bed,
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- you have to ask him. - Ugh.
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That's why they have those signs in
bathrooms at restaurants
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to tell employees to wash their hands.
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Those aren't for women, guys. Those are
for men.
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Or maybe you could just text him,
airplane, wine glass,
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Italian flag, eggplant, doughnut,
doughnut, doughnut.
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Let's go with the 50.
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Claritin...
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Hi, welcome.
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Thank you.
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Thanks a lot.
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Are you gonna tell 'em about the stuff in
your backpack?
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Mind your own business, man. I'm paying
for this.
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I like your sneakers. They must be
expensive.
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Is that why can't afford the Monster
Energy Drink
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or the Flamin' Hot Cheetos?
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- Hang on. Hang on. - Hey, let go of me,
man.
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I can't believe I was right.
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Keep your mouth shut. I'll mess you up,
old man.
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Old man. Oh, my God.
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First of all,
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I should throw you in jail just for
calling me "old man,"
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but you bring that stuff back,
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I'll let you go 'cause I'm late for dinner
and I'm hungry as shit.
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Go ahead.
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- Tylenol PM? Am I right? - No.
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It's not good for that. It depends on what
time of year you go.
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That makes sense. Can I get another?
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We're gonna have another one?
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I'm just saying, we're paying today. Maybe
you can take it easy a little bit.
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Hey, hey. Nick. Nick. What... What's wrong
with you?
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Sorry. Should I not order another drink,
Detective?
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00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:40,755
No. Holly, order another drink.
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Order as much as you want. I was joking
around.
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- That's not funny. - The reason...
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I'm just in a great mood because I had a
great day today.
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- Did we have a great day or what? - It
was a fabulous day. Incredible day.
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Really? Did you get another hot case?
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Of what?
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"What."
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That was good. No, listen.
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Going great, kid. I promise you.
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It's like, uh, they're trusting me more
and more,
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and I, um, I wish I could tell you what it
was,
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but it's... it's confidential.
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- Wait a second. - What?
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Oh, my God.
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- What is this? - What is that?
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My baby Jimmy got it for me for my
birthday.
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- Jimmy! - What?
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- Celebration diamonds. - Oh, my gosh.
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- It's gorgeous! - Thank you, Audrey.
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- Very expensive. - Wow, Jimmy.
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I got you something special. I promise,
you're gonna be very happy.
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- Really? - I can't wait.
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See, I would've pegged you, Nick, as an
Amazon gift card kinda guy,
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but... I'm no detective.
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Hey! You know what, guys?
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Let's toast to my friends, Nick and
Audrey.
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Fifteen wonderful years.
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Absolutely.
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- Fifteen. - Here's to true love, guys.
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Fifteen.
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- True love. - Yeah.
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Dinner was insane, but that's expected.
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But I'll tell you what,
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I want to record Holly chewing her ice
cubes,
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use it as my alarm in the morning.
That's...
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Guarantee me of wanting to wake up and
leave.
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What's the matter? You didn't like that
joke?
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I'm flossing.
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I can see that.
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You're doing it extra hard tonight.
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And I'm not sleeping with the fan on
tonight. I hate that sound.
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No fan necessary. We'll crank the AC,
babe.
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Uh-oh. What, what, what?
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You're gonna yell at me? I can see this.
Hang on.
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Why don't you do some more angry flossing?
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How come we haven't gone to Europe, Nick?
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You have to explain this to me.
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We never go anywhere.
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We travel. I took you to the Poconos that
time.
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What? The Poco... That was...
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That was for a funeral, Nick.
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How about, uh, when we went to Virginia
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when my uncle was in a hospice and we got
to see him die?
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- We did that. - Ugh, Nick. Come on.
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00:06:54,713 --> 00:06:56,171
I'm talking about the postcard.
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- You don't remember that? - I remember
it. Of course I remember it.
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It's been 15 years, Nick. I don't know
what we're waitin' for.
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Now you've gone and done it, Audrey.
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What? What'd I do?
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I told you I had something big for you at
dinner,
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and you couldn't wait till tomorrow
morning?
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No.
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We're finally going to Europe. Happy
anniversary.
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Oh, my God. I have chills.
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Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
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Oh, my God! I'm so...
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- I ruined your surprise! - Shh. You
didn't ruin anything.
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You're the greatest. You deserve it. I
love you.
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- I love you! - It's still a surprise. I
swear.
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- We can afford it, right? This is all...
- We can afford it, of course.
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- Okay. - I'm getting my raise this year.
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00:07:46,588 --> 00:07:48,255
- Right. - We're all set. Come on.
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00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:50,046
- Hello. Hi. - Hello.
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So, uh, we are on our honeymoon,
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and I was wondering if we could possibly
get an upgrade
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because I have miles. Maybe...
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I don't even know if it's from this
airline, but do they expire, or...
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00:08:00,463 --> 00:08:02,630
Sir, you would have needed to request that
in advance.
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00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:04,296
- Yeah. - Right this way, please.
176
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,963
- Thank you. I'm so sorry. - We did try
advance. I tried calling.
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- And, um, nobody... - Who'd you call?
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- Crazy busy signals. - Really?
179
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:12,505
- It's the busy signals! - Who did you try
to call?
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I don't want to give it away. It was the
butler.
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00:08:19,088 --> 00:08:20,463
The butler did it.
182
00:08:21,255 --> 00:08:22,921
It's never the butler who did it.
183
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,671
I don't even think there are butlers.
184
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,921
That's just a word created for those goofy
books you're addicted to.
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00:08:29,005 --> 00:08:30,963
Would you just please, please shh?
186
00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:34,087
Leave my books alone, okay? Just let me
read.
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00:08:34,171 --> 00:08:36,212
I just like... Makes me happy.
188
00:08:36,296 --> 00:08:38,171
Are you okay? You're cranky. Are you
bored?
189
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:40,046
- I'm gonna go to sleep. - Take a nap.
190
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,212
- Are you okay with that? - Wait, don't...
191
00:08:42,296 --> 00:08:44,963
But just, please, don't... don't lay all
the way back.
192
00:08:45,546 --> 00:08:46,963
- Don't take it back? - No.
193
00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:48,796
Why? You don't want my double chin to
show?
194
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,546
It's not your chins, okay. It's just rude.
195
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:52,505
Yes.
196
00:08:52,588 --> 00:08:54,213
- Okay. 'Cause you splay out. - All right.
197
00:08:54,296 --> 00:08:57,421
And then your seat is in, like, the lap of
the guy behind you.
198
00:08:57,505 --> 00:09:00,421
- So just be considerate of everybody. -
I'll stay up. Thank you.
199
00:09:01,255 --> 00:09:02,296
Timber.
200
00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:12,463
Oh, excuse me.
201
00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:13,963
- Hi. - Hello. Hi.
202
00:09:14,046 --> 00:09:16,546
Could I please have some earplugs?
203
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:17,588
Yes.
204
00:09:17,671 --> 00:09:18,880
For nine dollars.
205
00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:21,755
Nine dollars? For earplugs?
206
00:09:21,838 --> 00:09:22,755
Yes.
207
00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,838
That's okay. I'll just...
208
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,630
I'll just use my peanuts.
209
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:29,338
I'll just...
210
00:09:54,088 --> 00:09:54,921
Wow.
211
00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:12,380
Oh...
212
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:14,880
Mm.
213
00:10:21,963 --> 00:10:23,796
A fellow insomniac, I see.
214
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:24,880
Jesus.
215
00:10:24,963 --> 00:10:26,213
Yes. I...
216
00:10:26,796 --> 00:10:28,588
Yep. I know, right?
217
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,796
I just cannot sleep on these things.
218
00:10:31,046 --> 00:10:32,671
So what brings you across the pond?
219
00:10:32,755 --> 00:10:35,713
Actually, it's my... it's my honeymoon.
220
00:10:35,796 --> 00:10:37,296
Oh. Congratulations.
221
00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:39,171
- Thank you. - Where's your husband?
222
00:10:39,755 --> 00:10:40,630
Dead.
223
00:10:41,171 --> 00:10:43,713
Asleep. He's dead... dead asleep.
224
00:10:43,796 --> 00:10:45,838
We've actually been married for 15 years,
225
00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:49,338
but we just have been very, very, very,
very busy.
226
00:10:49,588 --> 00:10:52,838
Then a toast to the whirlwind that is your
life.
227
00:10:54,046 --> 00:10:55,088
Yes.
228
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:56,338
- Sorry, ma'am. - Oh, yes!
229
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:58,380
The bar is for first class passengers
only.
230
00:10:58,463 --> 00:11:00,880
Of course. Of course it is. I'm so sorry,
yes.
231
00:11:00,963 --> 00:11:04,130
I will head back to the lower class cabin
232
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:06,421
and sit where I should and, uh...
233
00:11:06,963 --> 00:11:07,921
shovel some coal.
234
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:09,130
She's my guest.
235
00:11:09,213 --> 00:11:11,880
Unfortunately, sir, she'd need her own
first class ticket.
236
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,296
Charles Cavendish.
237
00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:15,671
I'm so sorry, sir.
238
00:11:19,588 --> 00:11:20,588
Whoa!
239
00:11:21,505 --> 00:11:22,963
Charles Cavendish?
240
00:11:23,505 --> 00:11:24,421
Is that your real name?
241
00:11:24,505 --> 00:11:26,005
I'm afraid so.
242
00:11:26,088 --> 00:11:28,671
I mean, that sounds like it just fell
right out of a...
243
00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:29,921
mystery novel.
244
00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:32,463
And which character would I be?
245
00:11:33,546 --> 00:11:35,880
Name like that, you'd have to be the bad
guy.
246
00:11:37,546 --> 00:11:38,380
Well...
247
00:11:39,213 --> 00:11:40,421
here's to the bad guys.
248
00:11:56,838 --> 00:11:59,088
- Okay, so your fiancée... - Hm.
249
00:11:59,796 --> 00:12:00,796
Leaves you...
250
00:12:01,796 --> 00:12:05,130
...for your elderly uncle...
251
00:12:05,213 --> 00:12:07,755
Will you two kindly shut up?
252
00:12:07,838 --> 00:12:09,005
Oh, be quiet.
253
00:12:09,505 --> 00:12:12,588
Or we shall tell everyone about the ferret
you've smuggled in here.
254
00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:16,921
The whole thing is tawdry, I know.
255
00:12:17,005 --> 00:12:18,921
- Tawdry. - He desired my betrothed,
256
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,671
and Uncle Malcolm always gets what he
wants.
257
00:12:21,755 --> 00:12:23,713
Malcolm. Uncle Malcolm.
258
00:12:24,296 --> 00:12:25,338
- Quince. - Uncle...
259
00:12:26,130 --> 00:12:29,463
Malcolm Quince is your uncle? That
billionaire?
260
00:12:29,796 --> 00:12:31,796
- That's the one. - Oh, my gosh.
261
00:12:32,546 --> 00:12:34,963
He looks just like this...
262
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,296
if this wrinkled olive had $70 billion.
263
00:12:40,213 --> 00:12:41,546
Seventy billion dollars.
264
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,213
I'm traveling to Monaco with the newlyweds
on his yacht
265
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,838
for the Grand Prix this weekend.
266
00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:48,005
Why? Why would you do that?
267
00:12:48,088 --> 00:12:50,296
Why would you go on their yacht after what
they just did?
268
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,296
Because I'm English, Mrs. Spitz.
269
00:12:52,963 --> 00:12:55,171
- I'm a glutton for social masochism. -
Oh.
270
00:12:55,255 --> 00:12:59,880
And I plan on getting blind drunk and
ruining the festivities.
271
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,046
Okay. I support that.
272
00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,213
- I say, Audrey... - Hm.
273
00:13:06,255 --> 00:13:08,880
Do you and your husband have plans this
weekend?
274
00:13:13,713 --> 00:13:16,171
You made a joke. That's...
275
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:20,838
Holy shit! This plane has a bar?
276
00:13:20,921 --> 00:13:22,963
Sir, this is the first class lounge.
277
00:13:23,046 --> 00:13:25,005
I'm gonna have to ask you to return to
your seat.
278
00:13:25,088 --> 00:13:26,421
There's bars on planes now?
279
00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:28,421
Planes have bars now. In first class.
280
00:13:28,505 --> 00:13:31,505
This is... Man, I wish my mother was still
alive to see this.
281
00:13:31,588 --> 00:13:33,171
She was an alcoholic, but a nice one.
282
00:13:33,255 --> 00:13:35,713
Sir, if you don't return to your seat, I'm
gonna have to call...
283
00:13:35,796 --> 00:13:36,671
The cops.
284
00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,213
So that's my wife
285
00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:41,838
talking to that handsome guy over there
with the one chin.
286
00:13:42,171 --> 00:13:46,046
So I'm gonna go break that shit up,
possibly grab myself a beer,
287
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,421
maybe you a Xanax.
288
00:13:49,505 --> 00:13:51,796
The wine on board is worth a letter.
289
00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,796
People don't write letters anymore, do
they?
290
00:13:55,338 --> 00:13:58,421
- Such a pity. - It's just, it's all so
tactical.
291
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,338
Yeah, that's true.
292
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:02,671
Hey!
293
00:14:02,755 --> 00:14:03,588
Nick.
294
00:14:03,671 --> 00:14:06,380
- How are you? - Hi, honey. You're awake.
295
00:14:06,838 --> 00:14:08,171
- Was your nappie good? - Been awake.
296
00:14:08,255 --> 00:14:09,838
- I was looking for you. - I know, I'm...
297
00:14:09,921 --> 00:14:12,296
- Well, I met this lovely gentleman. - Oh,
yeah?
298
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,755
I'd like you to meet Charles Cavendish.
299
00:14:14,838 --> 00:14:16,421
- He's a lord. Right? - How do you do?
300
00:14:16,505 --> 00:14:18,588
- A lord? - Well, actually a viscount.
301
00:14:18,671 --> 00:14:21,088
- Oh. - Although viscounts are addressed
as Lord,
302
00:14:21,171 --> 00:14:23,713
which probably accounts for the lovely
Audrey's confusion.
303
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,921
There you go. She gets confused with me
too.
304
00:14:26,005 --> 00:14:28,546
Sometimes I'm the king. Sometimes I'm
Daddy.
305
00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:31,546
So... can I get a Labatts, brother?
306
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,796
That'll be 17 euro.
307
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,130
No, no, no. Please.
308
00:14:35,213 --> 00:14:36,380
The beer is on me.
309
00:14:36,463 --> 00:14:39,171
I'm not just taking a beer from somebody I
don't know.
310
00:14:39,255 --> 00:14:40,255
Oh, my gosh.
311
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:44,338
And I do hope you take advantage of my
other offer.
312
00:14:44,421 --> 00:14:46,421
Hey. I'm not just gonna stand here
313
00:14:46,505 --> 00:14:49,130
while you offer to pay me to have sex with
my wife.
314
00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:51,213
But out of curiosity, how much are we
talking?
315
00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:52,463
- Great. - I wouldn't do it.
316
00:14:52,546 --> 00:14:54,171
- Hey, listen to me. - What?
317
00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:58,130
He is inviting us to spend the weekend
with him on a yacht with his family.
318
00:14:58,213 --> 00:14:59,630
Well, we have plans.
319
00:15:00,088 --> 00:15:01,630
On a bus.
320
00:15:01,713 --> 00:15:05,296
A bus that is bound for the idyllic
village of San Grigio,
321
00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:09,630
where we can watch a demonstration on how
they age ham.
322
00:15:09,713 --> 00:15:11,963
- Let me explain something. - Tell me what
I'm missing.
323
00:15:12,046 --> 00:15:13,005
- Are you kidding me? - Go.
324
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,421
We would be sailing around European
harbors.
325
00:15:16,505 --> 00:15:18,671
- Yeah. - Okay? We'd be eating fresh fish.
326
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:20,505
- Right. - And we'd be drinking wine.
327
00:15:20,588 --> 00:15:21,963
- Hmm. - We'd be together.
328
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:22,921
That's nice.
329
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,838
- They have a chef. - They have a chef.
330
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,630
His name is Maurice. Maurice?
331
00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:28,296
- Maurice, yes. - Maurice.
332
00:15:28,713 --> 00:15:30,546
"Some people call me Maurice."
333
00:15:32,380 --> 00:15:33,296
Remember that one?
334
00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:35,630
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
335
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:37,880
I gotcha.
336
00:15:37,963 --> 00:15:38,921
So listen...
337
00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:40,130
What are you doing?
338
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:43,838
Why would two adults come into a bathroom
on an airplane?
339
00:15:43,921 --> 00:15:46,421
Honey, come on. To have a private
conversation.
340
00:15:46,505 --> 00:15:47,588
Ah, that's funny.
341
00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:49,630
Listen. I'm just trying to understand
342
00:15:49,713 --> 00:15:53,463
why you are turning down the opportunity
of a lifetime.
343
00:15:53,546 --> 00:15:55,171
Because I don't trust that guy.
344
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,671
- Why? - 'Cause instincts.
345
00:15:57,755 --> 00:15:58,588
Your instincts?
346
00:15:58,671 --> 00:16:01,088
The same ones that told you you were about
to get laid in here?
347
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:02,505
I'm not getting laid?
348
00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:06,421
Come on! When is the next time you and I
are gonna be able to get on a yacht?
349
00:16:06,505 --> 00:16:09,380
I'm just saying, all those times we're
eating ham sandwiches
350
00:16:09,463 --> 00:16:12,255
and you're always asking, "How do they age
the ham?"
351
00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:14,505
- Never had that... - We'll never ask that
question again
352
00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,671
- because we'll be in San Grigio. - That
never happened.
353
00:16:16,755 --> 00:16:19,921
They'll give us the reason on how they do
it so perfectly.
354
00:16:20,421 --> 00:16:21,880
Okay. You wanna know the truth?
355
00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:23,338
- You're breaking my heart. - Why?
356
00:16:23,421 --> 00:16:24,796
I feel like a schmuck
357
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,421
because I've been working my ass off and
saving money, and now you know why.
358
00:16:28,505 --> 00:16:31,088
It was to take us on this trip. And I know
I'm not a duke.
359
00:16:31,171 --> 00:16:33,005
I understand. He's a viscount, but...
360
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:35,421
- I don't even know what that is. - I
know. It's okay.
361
00:16:36,088 --> 00:16:37,046
I'm sorry.
362
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,005
I love you.
363
00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:40,505
- I got lost. I got swept up in it. - I
know.
364
00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:42,880
But it's okay. We're gonna do the bus.
It's gonna be great.
365
00:16:42,963 --> 00:16:44,630
We'll do the bus. You're gonna love the
bus!
366
00:16:49,338 --> 00:16:53,255
Hey! Hey, Gonzales. Where is our welcome
glass of champagne?
367
00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:55,130
- We were promised... - Summer hit me!
368
00:16:55,213 --> 00:16:57,130
a glass of champagne when we arrived...
369
00:16:57,213 --> 00:17:00,380
Zip it! Both of you! Will you stop that?
370
00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:01,963
I know you hear me!
371
00:17:03,296 --> 00:17:04,130
Shut up!
372
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:05,838
Let's do the... We'll do the yacht, okay?
373
00:17:05,921 --> 00:17:06,963
- Thank you. - All right.
374
00:17:07,046 --> 00:17:08,380
Cavendish!
375
00:17:08,463 --> 00:17:10,796
We've changed our minds. We're gonna come.
376
00:17:11,255 --> 00:17:12,255
Splendid.
377
00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:34,005
- Hello. - Bienvenidos.
378
00:17:34,088 --> 00:17:35,463
Thank you.
379
00:17:35,546 --> 00:17:37,130
- Thank you. - De nada.
380
00:17:37,213 --> 00:17:38,921
- This is amazing. - Señor.
381
00:17:39,005 --> 00:17:40,421
I thought it was gonna be bigger.
382
00:17:40,505 --> 00:17:41,380
- What? - I did.
383
00:17:41,463 --> 00:17:43,505
- Bigger than this? - I really did.
384
00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:46,130
I bet that's Cavendish's ex-fiancée
385
00:17:46,213 --> 00:17:47,963
who left him for his uncle.
386
00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:51,671
Oh, okay. I'm starving. Where's that
Maurice dude?
387
00:17:51,755 --> 00:17:54,296
Uh, I don't think we're supposed to talk
to him directly.
388
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:56,296
- Let's wait for dinner. - Which is when?
389
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:59,338
I don't... Honey, it's later. I don't
know. It's Europe, okay?
390
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:02,671
The bus observes a standard American
dinnertime, so...
391
00:18:03,130 --> 00:18:05,338
Oh, baby, this is like a painting.
392
00:18:05,421 --> 00:18:07,880
- No, it's nice... - It just doesn't look
real.
393
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:09,963
- It's... - Oh, my God!
394
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,046
Wow. Look. She's so pretty.
395
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:14,046
- Very pretty. - She's that kind of pretty
396
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:16,338
that you don't really know what country
she's from.
397
00:18:16,421 --> 00:18:18,505
I mean, I can't tell. Can you tell?
398
00:18:18,588 --> 00:18:19,505
Japan.
399
00:18:19,588 --> 00:18:22,463
Ah, yes, yes. You see? See? She can hear
you.
400
00:18:22,546 --> 00:18:24,588
She's not a... not on television right
now.
401
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,005
- You're watching a real person. - Shh.
402
00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:29,380
Crashing the party with civilians.
403
00:18:29,463 --> 00:18:30,505
Are you drunk?
404
00:18:30,588 --> 00:18:32,380
It's only noon, Suzi, darling.
405
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,255
Of course I'm drunk.
406
00:18:34,338 --> 00:18:35,588
So, where is your beloved,
407
00:18:35,671 --> 00:18:37,296
Sir Liver Spots?
408
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:38,588
Malcolm is not here yet.
409
00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:40,463
You know how he likes to make an entrance.
410
00:18:40,838 --> 00:18:44,088
You'd know more about Malcolm's entrances
than anyone at this point.
411
00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:50,296
- Great to meet you. You're terrific. -
Nice to meet you. Pleasure.
412
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,921
I'm sorry you had to see that.
413
00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,005
- Actually, I started to like you. - She
deserved that.
414
00:18:55,088 --> 00:18:57,838
- Very good. You came on strong. - She is
not nice. You're hurt.
415
00:18:57,921 --> 00:18:58,755
Charles.
416
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:00,671
So glad you could make it.
417
00:19:01,255 --> 00:19:03,213
And you brought guests.
418
00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:05,588
Allow me to introduce my cousin, Tobey.
419
00:19:05,671 --> 00:19:08,630
Malcolm's only son and the man Suzi would
have left me for,
420
00:19:08,713 --> 00:19:10,046
had he not been a screaming queen.
421
00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,005
- Okay. - Thank you for having us aboard,
sir.
422
00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:14,296
Yeah. Hey, really nice.
423
00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:15,713
It's my father's boat.
424
00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:19,380
Oh, well, her father, uh, let me use his
lawnmower one time,
425
00:19:19,463 --> 00:19:21,505
- so I know how that goes. - Yeah.
426
00:19:22,921 --> 00:19:24,088
How do you know Charles?
427
00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:26,671
Oh. We go back to six hours ago?
428
00:19:26,755 --> 00:19:28,296
- Yes. - We met on an airplane.
429
00:19:28,380 --> 00:19:30,005
He was very nice to include us.
430
00:19:30,088 --> 00:19:31,963
We have a spare cabin for them, I assume.
431
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:36,421
Well, seeing as you have so much history,
I'm sure we can find some room.
432
00:19:36,505 --> 00:19:39,005
Thank you. Thanks for the warm welcome.
Appreciate it. After you.
433
00:19:39,088 --> 00:19:41,838
- Up here? This keeps going up? - Really
nice of you. So we go this way?
434
00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:44,338
- Wow. - There's another deck, hun.
Another deck!
435
00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:47,463
"Sex-crazed oldster Malcolm Quince
436
00:19:47,546 --> 00:19:51,838
wed 23-year-old ski instructor Suzi
Nakamura this week."
437
00:19:51,921 --> 00:19:54,338
- Mm-hmm. - "Why would the Tokyo-born tart
438
00:19:54,421 --> 00:19:56,588
trade downhills for dentures?
439
00:19:56,671 --> 00:20:01,046
"Perhaps the $70 billion his son, Tobey,
was set to inherit."
440
00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:02,713
- Wow. - Oh, my God, baby.
441
00:20:03,213 --> 00:20:06,088
We are literally right in the middle of a
TMZ story.
442
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:10,296
You were right about this yacht. Their
shaving cream smells like coconuts.
443
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,463
- It's incredible. - Sorry.
444
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:14,255
You're allergic to rich people now?
445
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,130
No. Stop it! I'm allergic to stuff. Would
you please grab me the Claritin?
446
00:20:18,213 --> 00:20:19,546
Yes. Here.
447
00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:24,130
Baby, that's Allegra. You said you packed
Claritin.
448
00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:25,171
That's the same thing.
449
00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:27,380
No, honey. Allegra doesn't work for me.
450
00:20:27,838 --> 00:20:28,671
Oh.
451
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,838
Okay. When we get to Monaco, I'll get you
your Claritin.
452
00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:35,380
It's not... It's gonna be called something
else over there,
453
00:20:35,463 --> 00:20:38,171
I'm telling you. Just remember, we... The
blue box.
454
00:20:38,255 --> 00:20:42,588
You know, "Allegra" in, uh, French means
the same shit as Claritin.
455
00:20:44,630 --> 00:20:45,755
- Smile. - Yes.
456
00:20:45,838 --> 00:20:48,380
You need to stop drinking. You're a drunk.
457
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:49,505
Look at him.
458
00:20:49,588 --> 00:20:52,963
Why is he torturing himself like that? I
mean, she's already married to Malcolm.
459
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:55,588
I don't know what else he's expecting her
to say to him.
460
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,505
She's saying he's a cad...
461
00:20:57,921 --> 00:20:59,796
And he's saying she's a tramp,
462
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,046
and they're both right.
463
00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:03,213
How do I know you? You're...
464
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,463
You're an actress, right?
465
00:21:04,546 --> 00:21:06,505
All women are actresses, dear.
466
00:21:06,921 --> 00:21:09,046
I'm just clever enough to get paid for it.
467
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:10,505
Grace Ballard.
468
00:21:11,088 --> 00:21:12,463
Oh!
469
00:21:12,546 --> 00:21:13,713
My God!
470
00:21:14,213 --> 00:21:17,630
That's... This is incr... I'm a massive
fan of yours!
471
00:21:17,713 --> 00:21:19,713
- Like, number one! - Oh.
472
00:21:19,796 --> 00:21:21,546
- This isn't... - I know. It's incredible.
473
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:25,130
I am Nick Spitz. This is my wife, Allison.
474
00:21:25,213 --> 00:21:27,338
- I can't believe... - Aud... Audrey. I'm
Audrey.
475
00:21:27,421 --> 00:21:28,921
- I said Audrey! - No, you didn't.
476
00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:31,505
Allison is the character she played in
the...
477
00:21:31,588 --> 00:21:33,880
Remember the one? We watched it together.
478
00:21:33,963 --> 00:21:36,088
Where it's a beautiful lady, it turns out
she's a robot?
479
00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:37,671
- And there's the bra... - She's the
robot!
480
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,880
- There's guns coming out of your bra. -
Yes!
481
00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,963
Sex Machina. My breakout role.
482
00:21:42,046 --> 00:21:45,171
So good. Look at this, right in front of
us!
483
00:21:45,255 --> 00:21:47,338
I feel like I got kicked in the belly
right now!
484
00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:49,255
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey. - I lost my wind!
485
00:21:49,546 --> 00:21:51,546
Let's go put on some sunscreen 'cause
it's...
486
00:21:51,630 --> 00:21:53,296
You already put the sunscreen on me
earlier.
487
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,713
No, we're gonna... we're gonna reapply the
sunscreen.
488
00:21:55,796 --> 00:21:57,505
- We're putting more on? - We're gonna
reapply.
489
00:21:57,588 --> 00:21:58,796
All right. We'll put more on.
490
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,963
- So nice to meet you. - I can't
believe... This is great!
491
00:22:01,046 --> 00:22:02,630
- He's so excited. - We're on the same
ship!
492
00:22:05,255 --> 00:22:08,130
Look at that. It says that her last name
isn't even really Ballard.
493
00:22:08,213 --> 00:22:09,255
Well, so what?
494
00:22:09,838 --> 00:22:11,671
How do you just come out looking that
beautiful?
495
00:22:12,171 --> 00:22:14,380
- Oh, she's had it all done. - What?
496
00:22:14,713 --> 00:22:17,005
Lips, nose, chin.
497
00:22:17,088 --> 00:22:18,088
No!
498
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:20,130
People really get their chins done?
499
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,588
- Mm-hmm. - Huh!
500
00:22:21,671 --> 00:22:23,963
That was so directed at me, it was
disgusting.
501
00:22:24,046 --> 00:22:26,046
You want me to get my chin done. And I'm
not...
502
00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:28,880
I love you for who you are. Although it's
an option.
503
00:22:28,963 --> 00:22:31,046
Would you guys excuse me for a moment?
504
00:22:31,130 --> 00:22:33,713
- I should say hello to the Maharajah. -
Absolutely.
505
00:22:33,796 --> 00:22:35,838
- Everyone's saying it. - Do you believe
we're on a boat
506
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,880
where the guy said, "I'm gonna go have a
conversation with the Maharajah?"
507
00:22:38,963 --> 00:22:40,671
- That was big. - Is this real?
508
00:22:40,755 --> 00:22:41,588
Excuse me, ma'am?
509
00:22:41,671 --> 00:22:44,255
Is there a Maurice here? 'Cause I'm hungry
as hell.
510
00:22:44,338 --> 00:22:45,463
Yes, sir. He's preparing.
511
00:22:45,546 --> 00:22:47,338
He's preparing. Okay. Is he ever gonna
finish?
512
00:22:47,671 --> 00:22:49,588
Please tell Maurice to step on the gas.
513
00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:52,880
- Oh, honey, honey, honey. - Mm-hmm?
514
00:22:52,963 --> 00:22:56,630
Okay, um, don't look right now, but
there's a really scary man
515
00:22:56,713 --> 00:22:58,088
- with an eye patch... - Mm-hmm?
516
00:22:58,171 --> 00:23:00,088
Who's just staring right at us.
517
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,130
I said don't look and you can't not do it.
518
00:23:02,213 --> 00:23:03,880
You say eye patch and scary, I'm gonna
look.
519
00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,713
I'm sorry. It's physically impossible not
to.
520
00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:07,588
All right. Okay. He's walking at us.
521
00:23:07,671 --> 00:23:09,213
- Honey, honey. - Play it cool.
522
00:23:09,296 --> 00:23:11,380
- Hey, fellas. What's up? How are ya? -
Hey. Hi.
523
00:23:11,463 --> 00:23:13,505
- Who let you two on board? - Excuse me?
524
00:23:13,588 --> 00:23:14,880
What is happening right now?
525
00:23:14,963 --> 00:23:16,963
They're my guests, Colonel.
526
00:23:17,046 --> 00:23:19,421
- This weekend is for family only. -
Really?
527
00:23:19,505 --> 00:23:21,588
The last time I checked, you're not
family.
528
00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:24,171
Neither is Soviet Chewbacca over there.
529
00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:25,796
Nick, Audrey.
530
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,505
- Yeah, you're not family for sure. -
Okay.
531
00:23:27,588 --> 00:23:30,296
Jesus. So I see one of them was packing
heat.
532
00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:33,213
- Was I supposed to bring a gun? - Oh, I
doubt it's even loaded.
533
00:23:33,296 --> 00:23:36,713
That's Colonel Charles Ulenga of the
Namibian Defense Force.
534
00:23:36,796 --> 00:23:37,838
Malcolm's best friend.
535
00:23:37,921 --> 00:23:40,296
He saved his life from a bombing attempt
in '94.
536
00:23:40,755 --> 00:23:42,380
That's where he lost his eye and his...
537
00:23:42,463 --> 00:23:44,130
And his dick? Did he lose his dick?
538
00:23:44,213 --> 00:23:47,005
- Honey, why? - I thought that maybe it
was his dick.
539
00:23:47,505 --> 00:23:51,338
And that's Sergei Radjenko, former
Spetsnaz, and his bodyguard.
540
00:23:52,005 --> 00:23:53,796
Crazy eye patch guy needs a bodyguard?
541
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:56,588
Whoa! The hand!
542
00:23:56,671 --> 00:23:59,338
There's a hand. It's not on his body
anymore.
543
00:24:00,213 --> 00:24:02,171
Oh, look at this. Now he's smoking his
dick!
544
00:24:02,255 --> 00:24:04,880
- He's smoking his dick! - No. Oh, God.
Would you stop it?
545
00:24:04,963 --> 00:24:07,255
I'm just having fun. It's a boat.
546
00:24:08,213 --> 00:24:09,546
Can I ask you a question?
547
00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:12,630
What exactly... is a maharajah?
548
00:24:12,713 --> 00:24:14,005
Why don't you ask him yourself?
549
00:24:14,088 --> 00:24:14,921
No.
550
00:24:15,005 --> 00:24:17,713
Vik, I have some guests I'd like you to
meet.
551
00:24:17,796 --> 00:24:19,421
Nick and Audrey Spitz,
552
00:24:20,046 --> 00:24:24,671
I present the exalted Maharajah Vikram
Shivan Govindan of Mumbai.
553
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,921
- Oh, my gosh. It's so... - Hey.
554
00:24:28,588 --> 00:24:29,963
So nice to...
555
00:24:32,463 --> 00:24:33,713
- Nice... - We're...
556
00:24:36,755 --> 00:24:40,421
Yo-ho-ho! That was very hilarious. Ah!
557
00:24:40,505 --> 00:24:42,213
With all the bowin' and shit.
558
00:24:42,296 --> 00:24:45,088
You know, when a brown person bows, white
people bow back, innit?
559
00:24:45,171 --> 00:24:47,046
- Up high. How about... - I'm sorry.
560
00:24:47,130 --> 00:24:48,755
He's giving you... Respect!
561
00:24:48,838 --> 00:24:51,296
- That was very good. Very funny. - That
was a joke.
562
00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:53,296
Audrey has a question she'd like to ask
you.
563
00:24:53,588 --> 00:24:55,005
Let me hear it.
564
00:24:55,088 --> 00:24:59,588
Oh. We were actually wondering, what
exactly is a maharajah?
565
00:24:59,671 --> 00:25:01,880
How do you... Do you have to go to a
school for that?
566
00:25:01,963 --> 00:25:03,546
Yeah, I was born into the game.
567
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:05,713
- Oh, you're born into it. - Okay, born
into it.
568
00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:07,880
What do you do, Nick?
569
00:25:07,963 --> 00:25:10,088
- I am... - Nick's a detective.
570
00:25:10,171 --> 00:25:12,463
Tight! You ever wet up anyone?
571
00:25:12,546 --> 00:25:14,755
- What's that? - Yeah, you know, like
drill,
572
00:25:14,838 --> 00:25:17,546
bust a cap, waste. You're like...
573
00:25:17,630 --> 00:25:19,671
- He's funny. No, never shot anybody. -
No! God!
574
00:25:19,755 --> 00:25:20,630
Which is a good thing.
575
00:25:20,713 --> 00:25:23,713
Nick is... Well, it's just that you're a
terrible shot.
576
00:25:23,796 --> 00:25:24,963
He's a terrible shot.
577
00:25:25,046 --> 00:25:26,838
He barely got out of the academy
578
00:25:26,921 --> 00:25:30,796
because he couldn't even meet, like, his
minimum marksmanship skills.
579
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,796
Audrey is lactose intolerant.
580
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,505
- She also burps in her sleep. - What?
581
00:25:35,588 --> 00:25:38,505
I just thought 'cause we are discussing
each other's flaws right now,
582
00:25:38,588 --> 00:25:39,963
you wanted to put it on the table.
583
00:25:40,046 --> 00:25:43,213
I'm sorry I... Listen, I didn't think that
was a sensitive subject...
584
00:25:43,296 --> 00:25:46,130
It's not a sensitive subject, I just don't
like you telling
585
00:25:46,213 --> 00:25:48,630
- everybody we meet. - I'm sorry I brought
it up. Never mind.
586
00:26:17,963 --> 00:26:20,255
- Whoa. - Oh, my gosh. Look at this.
587
00:26:20,338 --> 00:26:22,380
- Look at this crazy. - Wow. Babe.
588
00:26:22,463 --> 00:26:24,963
Well, this room is as nice as the way you
look.
589
00:26:25,046 --> 00:26:28,463
- You look stunning. - Thank you, honey.
That's so sweet.
590
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:31,630
What?
591
00:26:31,713 --> 00:26:33,088
Everybody's in tuxedos.
592
00:26:33,171 --> 00:26:35,588
- I wish you'd let me pack. - I shoulda
wore socks. You're right.
593
00:26:35,671 --> 00:26:38,630
- Yo! Juan Carlos! - Hey!
594
00:26:38,713 --> 00:26:41,046
- Oh, good luck, man. - Hey.
595
00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:44,380
Hi. Hi, there. What are we wishing you
good luck for?
596
00:26:44,463 --> 00:26:47,921
Well, he is racing in the Monaco Grand
Prix tomorrow.
597
00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:49,796
Wow. That's big.
598
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,005
Juan Carlos Rivera, let me introduce you
to...
599
00:26:55,171 --> 00:26:57,546
Steve and Lady Steve.
600
00:26:58,130 --> 00:26:59,130
- What? - No.
601
00:26:59,213 --> 00:27:01,130
- No, no. - I mean, if you want.
602
00:27:01,213 --> 00:27:03,505
- Just met us once. - Yeah, all right. I'm
gonna...
603
00:27:03,588 --> 00:27:04,588
- I'm Audrey. - go again.
604
00:27:04,671 --> 00:27:06,338
I'm Nick, and then we're the Spitzes.
605
00:27:06,421 --> 00:27:07,880
Juan Carlos, huh?
606
00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:09,046
Hey, Juan Carlos.
607
00:27:09,130 --> 00:27:10,421
So you're a race car driver.
608
00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:12,796
Good, yes.
609
00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:15,255
Wow. How do you get into something like
that?
610
00:27:15,588 --> 00:27:17,588
Uh, number one, yes.
611
00:27:18,046 --> 00:27:19,463
You don't speak English, do you?
612
00:27:20,546 --> 00:27:22,671
Uh, very fast. Very fast.
613
00:27:22,755 --> 00:27:24,130
- Huh? Welcome. - Okay.
614
00:27:38,296 --> 00:27:39,338
What's that?
615
00:27:40,088 --> 00:27:42,463
That is the Quince dagger.
616
00:27:43,588 --> 00:27:46,463
Chinese steel, jewels from across the
Orient.
617
00:27:47,005 --> 00:27:49,421
A gift to the family from Marco Polo,
618
00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:50,963
or so the legend says.
619
00:27:51,046 --> 00:27:51,921
God.
620
00:27:52,296 --> 00:27:54,796
Nick's grandmother gave us a toaster from
Sears.
621
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,880
So the legend says.
622
00:28:08,338 --> 00:28:09,963
Oh, look.
623
00:28:10,046 --> 00:28:12,046
Here comes Daddy.
624
00:28:13,838 --> 00:28:14,838
What's that?
625
00:28:26,338 --> 00:28:27,588
Captain Wong,
626
00:28:28,046 --> 00:28:30,546
I'd like to address my guests privately.
627
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:31,755
Certainly.
628
00:28:41,005 --> 00:28:41,880
My friends,
629
00:28:42,713 --> 00:28:45,380
welcome to the Mediterranean Queen.
630
00:28:45,463 --> 00:28:48,130
I can't tell you how much it warms my
heart
631
00:28:48,755 --> 00:28:50,963
that you have made this trip here
632
00:28:51,046 --> 00:28:52,921
to celebrate my nuptials.
633
00:28:53,005 --> 00:28:55,171
You will find, as you get older,
634
00:28:55,671 --> 00:28:57,796
that you begin to take stock of life.
635
00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:01,255
Not just where you've succeeded,
636
00:29:02,213 --> 00:29:03,505
but where you've failed.
637
00:29:05,255 --> 00:29:06,088
Who...
638
00:29:06,838 --> 00:29:07,838
you've failed.
639
00:29:15,213 --> 00:29:16,213
Suzi,
640
00:29:17,088 --> 00:29:18,380
my darling bride,
641
00:29:18,921 --> 00:29:21,963
who has so much of her life ahead of her.
642
00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:27,755
Grace, who shines so brightly on the
silver screen.
643
00:29:33,755 --> 00:29:36,005
Juan Carlos, my godson,
644
00:29:36,630 --> 00:29:39,963
who strives to lead my race team to
victory.
645
00:29:42,838 --> 00:29:43,838
You...
646
00:29:46,296 --> 00:29:47,255
Who are you?
647
00:29:48,713 --> 00:29:51,296
- Oh. Hey. We're the Spitzes. - We're
the...
648
00:29:51,671 --> 00:29:52,546
The who?
649
00:29:52,921 --> 00:29:55,463
Uh, I'm Audrey, and Nick Spitz.
650
00:29:55,838 --> 00:29:57,171
- Great. - We love the boat.
651
00:29:57,255 --> 00:29:59,380
- A boat? I mean, this is a ship. - It's
beyond.
652
00:29:59,463 --> 00:30:01,755
- Never seen anything like this. - Eric
Lamonsoff has a boat.
653
00:30:01,838 --> 00:30:03,380
We go fishing. He's got a Boston Whaler.
654
00:30:03,463 --> 00:30:04,505
This is gigantic.
655
00:30:04,588 --> 00:30:06,296
They're my guests, Uncle.
656
00:30:06,588 --> 00:30:08,255
You brought guests?
657
00:30:08,338 --> 00:30:10,880
Well, you did take my plus-one.
658
00:30:11,588 --> 00:30:13,588
I'm so sorry. Would you like us to leave?
659
00:30:13,671 --> 00:30:16,046
We could... I don't know how we're getting
out of here, though.
660
00:30:16,130 --> 00:30:18,921
We're... We're out to sea. Is there an
Uber for boats?
661
00:30:19,005 --> 00:30:21,213
- Out... Out of the room, Nick. - Out of
the room?
662
00:30:21,296 --> 00:30:22,838
We can go out of the room, absolutely...
663
00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:23,796
No.
664
00:30:24,380 --> 00:30:26,005
That won't be necessary.
665
00:30:26,338 --> 00:30:28,421
- Okay. So we'll stick around. - So we
stay. Okay.
666
00:30:29,213 --> 00:30:30,796
My nephew, Charles,
667
00:30:31,546 --> 00:30:33,963
who always finds a way to keep me on my
toes.
668
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,796
My friend, the Colonel, who's kept me safe
these many years.
669
00:30:40,755 --> 00:30:45,963
Vikram, whose family fortunes have always
been intertwined with my own.
670
00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:51,963
And my Tobias.
671
00:30:52,921 --> 00:30:55,005
All I ever wanted was a son,
672
00:30:55,921 --> 00:30:57,213
and here you are.
673
00:30:58,005 --> 00:30:59,505
My boy.
674
00:31:03,463 --> 00:31:07,088
I've spoken to all of you about your
position in my will.
675
00:31:07,755 --> 00:31:12,005
I have thought long and hard about what
each of you is truly worth,
676
00:31:13,046 --> 00:31:15,171
and I've come to this conclusion.
677
00:31:16,380 --> 00:31:18,796
You are all leeches.
678
00:31:19,588 --> 00:31:20,671
Repugnant.
679
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:22,255
Blood fat.
680
00:31:22,713 --> 00:31:27,255
Suckling on the tit of my good work for so
many years.
681
00:31:29,213 --> 00:31:30,546
You repulse me.
682
00:31:34,463 --> 00:31:36,546
Can't get this on a bus, baby.
683
00:31:36,630 --> 00:31:38,088
- This is incredible. - I know it.
684
00:31:38,171 --> 00:31:39,296
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
685
00:31:39,380 --> 00:31:42,130
Which is why I have drafted a new will.
686
00:31:43,380 --> 00:31:46,005
It states that my entire fortune
687
00:31:46,671 --> 00:31:48,046
goes to Suzi.
688
00:31:51,838 --> 00:31:53,588
From this moment forth,
689
00:31:54,005 --> 00:31:55,463
you are all cut off.
690
00:31:56,505 --> 00:31:57,796
Abandoned.
691
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,005
And perhaps, after I've done you this
kindness,
692
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,130
you will finally be able to make something
of yourselves...
693
00:32:05,755 --> 00:32:06,880
on your own.
694
00:32:15,421 --> 00:32:18,421
Apparently, she's had enough of my caviar.
695
00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:21,130
- That was funny. - Shh.
696
00:32:21,213 --> 00:32:22,296
Darling.
697
00:32:26,130 --> 00:32:27,755
You could've signed this at home.
698
00:32:28,255 --> 00:32:30,838
Instead, you called us here to humiliate
us?
699
00:32:30,921 --> 00:32:33,380
Yes, and you came running.
700
00:32:33,463 --> 00:32:34,671
Father, don't do this.
701
00:32:35,588 --> 00:32:36,796
Or what?
702
00:32:38,796 --> 00:32:39,838
Yes.
703
00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:41,755
That's what I thought.
704
00:32:55,963 --> 00:32:58,213
Don't shoot me! Don't shoot me, please!
705
00:32:58,588 --> 00:33:00,046
Daddy!
706
00:33:13,630 --> 00:33:14,755
You shot him!
707
00:33:14,838 --> 00:33:16,005
No!
708
00:33:16,088 --> 00:33:17,546
I saw someone stab him.
709
00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:19,088
- Who? - I don't know.
710
00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:20,380
What happened? I heard a scr...
711
00:33:21,671 --> 00:33:22,713
Malcolm!
712
00:33:22,796 --> 00:33:24,046
Oh, God!
713
00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:26,671
Has anybody tried to revive him?
714
00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:29,755
He's got a knife plunged in his heart. I
don't think he's revivable.
715
00:33:29,838 --> 00:33:30,838
Should we pull it out?
716
00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:33,171
No. It's a foot-long knife. It's just like
pulling...
717
00:33:36,963 --> 00:33:38,130
Oh, God!
718
00:33:38,213 --> 00:33:41,546
Wow! You should have left the knife in for
the po-po, Colonel, man!
719
00:33:41,630 --> 00:33:43,088
- I'll put it back. - Don't put it back.
720
00:33:46,796 --> 00:33:49,130
Oh! Will you listen to my husband? He's a
detective.
721
00:33:49,213 --> 00:33:51,213
Yes, yes. What should we do, Mr. Officer?
722
00:33:51,296 --> 00:33:55,838
Well, for starters, let's stop removing
and reinserting the murder weapon
723
00:33:55,921 --> 00:33:57,380
into the victim's chest.
724
00:33:57,463 --> 00:34:00,005
In fact, let's stop touching the body
altogether.
725
00:34:00,088 --> 00:34:01,713
He was gonna take it all away.
726
00:34:03,005 --> 00:34:04,213
For you.
727
00:34:05,630 --> 00:34:06,463
Yo...
728
00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:08,380
Did he sign it?
729
00:34:13,045 --> 00:34:13,880
No.
730
00:34:13,963 --> 00:34:14,880
Yes!
731
00:34:14,963 --> 00:34:17,338
We should make sure he doesn't have
another copy on him.
732
00:34:17,630 --> 00:34:18,463
Uh... Mm-mm.
733
00:34:18,545 --> 00:34:21,295
Rifling through the pockets of the corpse
counts as touching, yup.
734
00:34:21,380 --> 00:34:24,130
Sorry to single you out like that, Ms.
Ballard. You're wonderful.
735
00:34:24,213 --> 00:34:26,505
- You look extravagant tonight. - Okay.
What's next?
736
00:34:26,588 --> 00:34:28,545
We have to preserve the crime scene.
737
00:34:28,630 --> 00:34:31,338
Captain Wong, is there any way you can
lock off this place?
738
00:34:31,670 --> 00:34:32,588
Yes, of course.
739
00:34:32,670 --> 00:34:35,088
So we should then start questioning the
suspects.
740
00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:36,545
Suspects?
741
00:34:36,630 --> 00:34:38,213
We're not questioning anybody.
742
00:34:38,295 --> 00:34:40,920
Wong, when you finish locking up here, you
bring me the key.
743
00:34:41,005 --> 00:34:44,380
Then you radio Interpol, tell 'em we'll
meet 'em at the docks in Monaco.
744
00:34:44,463 --> 00:34:47,670
In the meantime, I'm gonna check the
shrimp out a little closer.
745
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,213
For the investigation?
746
00:34:49,295 --> 00:34:51,463
No, Wong, because I'm hungry as shit.
747
00:34:51,545 --> 00:34:54,545
The rest of you, I'd lock yourselves in
your chambers or your yacht rooms
748
00:34:54,630 --> 00:34:55,920
because one of us...
749
00:34:57,171 --> 00:34:58,255
is a murderer.
750
00:35:03,796 --> 00:35:05,630
- Audrey. - Yeah?
751
00:35:05,713 --> 00:35:07,088
Get the cocktail sauce.
752
00:35:07,713 --> 00:35:08,671
Yep.
753
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,588
Wait a second. What on earth is on these?
754
00:35:34,671 --> 00:35:38,755
I don't know. This Maurice guy must
breastfeed each shrimp individually.
755
00:35:38,838 --> 00:35:40,380
I mean, they live so well.
756
00:35:40,463 --> 00:35:41,963
- Oh, God, yeah. - God.
757
00:35:43,088 --> 00:35:44,963
All right. Where were we? Okay, okay,
okay.
758
00:35:45,546 --> 00:35:48,755
You know what? There had to be two people
in on the killing.
759
00:35:48,838 --> 00:35:51,338
Because how could they know when the
lights were gonna go out?
760
00:35:51,421 --> 00:35:53,255
- That's smart, that's smart. - Right?
761
00:35:53,338 --> 00:35:55,505
I'm tired as hell right now. I'm gonna go
to sleep.
762
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:56,880
- Are you kidding me? - What?
763
00:35:57,296 --> 00:35:58,380
You're not jet-lagged?
764
00:36:02,338 --> 00:36:04,171
Nick.
765
00:36:04,255 --> 00:36:06,213
- Honey, come on, seriously. - Huh?
766
00:36:06,296 --> 00:36:07,505
Who do you think did it?
767
00:36:08,546 --> 00:36:10,046
I don't think. I know.
768
00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:11,713
Who?
769
00:36:12,005 --> 00:36:13,255
It was the son.
770
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:15,421
- Tobey. - No.
771
00:36:15,505 --> 00:36:18,630
No way. Not a chance. It's too obvious.
772
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:21,255
The most obvious suspect is never, never
the killer.
773
00:36:21,338 --> 00:36:24,671
The most obvious suspect is always the
killer.
774
00:36:24,755 --> 00:36:29,505
When a wife gets killed, 90% of the time
it was the husband.
775
00:36:30,963 --> 00:36:32,755
Why did you just use that as an example?
776
00:36:33,755 --> 00:36:34,796
And I disagree.
777
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,130
I think people are more complicated than
that.
778
00:36:39,171 --> 00:36:41,921
Judging off of what? Those books that you
read?
779
00:36:42,505 --> 00:36:44,921
People are simple, okay?
780
00:36:45,005 --> 00:36:45,963
It was Tobey.
781
00:36:46,046 --> 00:36:49,546
He had the most to gain, and he also had
the most to lose.
782
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,296
Which is exactly why he's not the killer.
783
00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:55,921
Did you ever fool around on a boat?
784
00:36:56,463 --> 00:36:58,005
Do you know how much fun that could be?
785
00:36:58,088 --> 00:37:00,171
I just lay here and the boat does all the
work.
786
00:37:00,255 --> 00:37:02,546
- That's so convenient for you. - You know
I have a bad back.
787
00:37:02,630 --> 00:37:04,130
So convenient for you.
788
00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:07,046
What about the lights?
789
00:37:07,130 --> 00:37:10,213
Yeah, leave 'em on. I don't care. Either
way. Lady's choice.
790
00:37:10,296 --> 00:37:12,880
Shh! No. Who turned out those lights?
791
00:37:15,588 --> 00:37:17,296
What?! Oh!
792
00:37:28,046 --> 00:37:30,171
Don't look at me like that. I can feel it.
793
00:38:00,630 --> 00:38:02,546
- I'm sorry. Excuse me. - Will you take
the Allegra?
794
00:38:02,630 --> 00:38:03,796
It's the same stuff.
795
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:05,755
- I don't want to talk about it. - Oh,
God.
796
00:38:09,046 --> 00:38:11,213
Enter the brilliant yet tortured
detective,
797
00:38:11,505 --> 00:38:12,505
right on cue.
798
00:38:13,255 --> 00:38:14,380
Mesdames, messieurs.
799
00:38:16,421 --> 00:38:19,130
My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix.
800
00:38:20,963 --> 00:38:25,005
I will now summon you one by one to the
grand lounge for questioning.
801
00:38:31,171 --> 00:38:33,713
Why is that smoke ring so good? How did he
do that?
802
00:38:36,130 --> 00:38:38,171
Oh, you broke it. You broke it.
803
00:38:49,838 --> 00:38:51,421
Tell me about Malcolm Quince.
804
00:38:51,921 --> 00:38:54,296
He was the most wonderful...
805
00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,505
Swine.
806
00:38:55,588 --> 00:38:57,630
He was the love of my life.
807
00:38:57,713 --> 00:38:59,838
He was a complicated man.
808
00:39:01,130 --> 00:39:02,963
Describe to me what happened.
809
00:39:03,546 --> 00:39:08,338
Yo, Mr. French Policeman, man. It was mad.
Lights went out.
810
00:39:08,421 --> 00:39:10,880
I thought I saw something move, and I
shot.
811
00:39:13,713 --> 00:39:14,630
Yes.
812
00:39:14,713 --> 00:39:15,546
Finish line.
813
00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:17,713
The old man got what was coming to him.
814
00:39:17,796 --> 00:39:19,546
One-eight-seven, motherfu...
815
00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,588
Did anyone touch the body?
816
00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:26,463
No.
817
00:39:26,546 --> 00:39:30,255
And did you notice anything else out of
the ordinary?
818
00:39:31,130 --> 00:39:33,630
- The Americans. - Yes, number one. Yes.
819
00:39:37,588 --> 00:39:39,296
Aren't you gonna, um...
820
00:39:39,380 --> 00:39:40,838
Aren't you gonna separate us?
821
00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:43,713
Pardon?
822
00:39:44,171 --> 00:39:45,880
- For the interrogation. - Okay.
823
00:39:45,963 --> 00:39:47,588
Question us separately, see if our...
824
00:39:47,671 --> 00:39:49,505
- What are you doing? - answers match.
825
00:39:49,588 --> 00:39:52,380
What? I'm just saying, our answers will
match
826
00:39:52,463 --> 00:39:54,296
- because we're innocent. - Yeah, that's
right.
827
00:39:55,796 --> 00:39:56,713
There we go.
828
00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:59,338
God, you are really good at that.
829
00:39:59,588 --> 00:40:02,963
We found this in Tobey Quince's suite.
830
00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:05,838
A typewritten suicide note
831
00:40:05,921 --> 00:40:08,671
in which he confesses to the murder of his
father.
832
00:40:09,255 --> 00:40:10,088
Typewritten?
833
00:40:10,171 --> 00:40:12,338
- Mm-mm. - That's not very common.
834
00:40:12,796 --> 00:40:14,546
- Very suspicious. - Yes.
835
00:40:14,630 --> 00:40:17,963
Yeah, obviously someone is trying to frame
Tobey for his father's murder.
836
00:40:18,963 --> 00:40:21,421
- This is amazing. - Look how excited she
is.
837
00:40:21,505 --> 00:40:23,296
So where's your head at with this whole
thing?
838
00:40:23,380 --> 00:40:24,963
I mean, who are your chief suspects?
839
00:40:26,338 --> 00:40:27,171
You.
840
00:40:27,255 --> 00:40:29,255
- Woo, yes. - Right, of course,
841
00:40:29,338 --> 00:40:32,713
- 'cause everybody is a suspect. -
Especially her.
842
00:40:32,796 --> 00:40:36,255
This is a group of friends and family who
have known each other for years.
843
00:40:36,338 --> 00:40:39,338
You two show up, and ten hours later, two
of them are dead.
844
00:40:40,088 --> 00:40:40,963
Coincidence?
845
00:40:41,463 --> 00:40:43,046
- Yes. - Absolutely.
846
00:40:43,130 --> 00:40:44,463
- Coincidence. - Wait. Excuse me.
847
00:40:44,546 --> 00:40:46,046
Are you saying that your theory
848
00:40:46,130 --> 00:40:50,338
is that the two of us conned our way onto
a stranger's boat at the last minute
849
00:40:50,421 --> 00:40:54,421
to commit premeditated murder that
benefits us in no way?
850
00:40:54,505 --> 00:40:55,380
That's your theory?
851
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,421
Perhaps someone paid you to do it.
852
00:40:57,505 --> 00:40:59,088
- No. - Paid us to do it?
853
00:40:59,171 --> 00:41:01,963
Oh, my gosh. I would love to see that.
Show me that money.
854
00:41:02,046 --> 00:41:04,005
Do you want to see our bank statements?
855
00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:06,338
We're broke.
856
00:41:06,421 --> 00:41:08,380
Desperate for money. I see.
857
00:41:08,463 --> 00:41:10,421
Now you gave him a motive.
858
00:41:10,505 --> 00:41:12,671
- No, no, no. I know. Just don't... - We
did this because...
859
00:41:12,755 --> 00:41:14,671
- take my words out of context. - We got
nothing.
860
00:41:14,755 --> 00:41:16,171
- That's all we got, is nothing. - No.
861
00:41:16,255 --> 00:41:19,546
Listen, I am talking to you, detective to
detective.
862
00:41:20,088 --> 00:41:21,046
We didn't do this.
863
00:41:21,130 --> 00:41:23,588
- You can see in my eyes. You can tell. -
Mm-mm.
864
00:41:24,088 --> 00:41:27,338
Perhaps I will have that word with you
independently.
865
00:41:28,130 --> 00:41:29,296
I di... Hey!
866
00:41:30,630 --> 00:41:31,546
I can get up.
867
00:41:31,630 --> 00:41:32,963
Hey, okay.
868
00:41:33,046 --> 00:41:34,463
I'll be out in a minute.
869
00:41:34,963 --> 00:41:36,046
I love you.
870
00:41:36,130 --> 00:41:38,713
I'm sorry. She's just excited because
it's...
871
00:41:38,796 --> 00:41:41,213
She reads books, and this is fun for her.
872
00:41:43,546 --> 00:41:46,171
You wish me to believe you're innocent.
873
00:41:46,255 --> 00:41:48,671
Unfortunately, I do not believe liars.
874
00:41:48,755 --> 00:41:50,255
But I'm telling you the truth.
875
00:41:50,338 --> 00:41:52,796
And how long have you been lying to your
wife?
876
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:53,713
Excuse me?
877
00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:57,630
You did not think that we would
investigate your background,
878
00:41:58,088 --> 00:42:01,546
Sergeant Nicholas Spitz, NYPD?
879
00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:05,380
Failed his detective's exam three times.
880
00:42:05,463 --> 00:42:07,588
You are, how you do say,
881
00:42:07,671 --> 00:42:08,921
cop on the beat,
882
00:42:09,005 --> 00:42:11,088
not detective as you so claim.
883
00:42:11,838 --> 00:42:12,838
So I...
884
00:42:13,838 --> 00:42:15,421
tell people I'm a detective.
885
00:42:15,505 --> 00:42:16,713
There's...
886
00:42:16,796 --> 00:42:18,005
That's not a crime.
887
00:42:18,380 --> 00:42:21,213
Impersonating a detective is a
crime.
888
00:42:21,630 --> 00:42:23,005
I didn't think it was a crime here.
889
00:42:23,088 --> 00:42:24,796
I thought maybe you guys had different
rules.
890
00:42:25,296 --> 00:42:27,005
That doesn't make us murderers.
891
00:42:27,088 --> 00:42:30,671
A broke, failed man, lying to his wife? I
think it does.
892
00:42:30,963 --> 00:42:33,463
You don't have any evidence. You can't
hold us.
893
00:42:33,546 --> 00:42:35,880
No, but I can hold these.
894
00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:40,588
I believe Mr. Cavendish has provided
accommodations for you
895
00:42:40,671 --> 00:42:43,755
at the Hotel de Savoie, so you won't be on
the street.
896
00:42:44,421 --> 00:42:47,380
But mark my words, Officer Spitz,
897
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,671
I will not rest until I prove that you
committed these murders.
898
00:42:52,296 --> 00:42:53,255
And I...
899
00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:57,463
will rest, because I'm tired as shit, at
that hotel you just said.
900
00:42:57,546 --> 00:42:59,046
It sounds like a good one.
901
00:42:59,130 --> 00:43:01,713
But after I'm well-rested and I eat
breakfast...
902
00:43:01,796 --> 00:43:04,421
hopefully the guy cooks as good as
Maurice...
903
00:43:05,255 --> 00:43:07,796
I will not rest until I prove to you
904
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,171
we have nothing to do with these murders.
905
00:43:15,005 --> 00:43:15,838
Juan Carlos!
906
00:43:15,921 --> 00:43:17,130
Juan Carlos!
907
00:43:20,671 --> 00:43:23,005
Charles said that everyone's gonna be at
this race,
908
00:43:23,088 --> 00:43:24,921
so whoever did this is gonna be there.
909
00:43:25,005 --> 00:43:26,296
We have to figure out who it is.
910
00:43:26,380 --> 00:43:29,505
I know we've gotta figure it out. This
isn't one of your books, sweetheart.
911
00:43:29,588 --> 00:43:32,046
I mean, it's like one of your books, but
this is real.
912
00:43:32,130 --> 00:43:34,255
Like, two people are dead, for real.
913
00:43:34,338 --> 00:43:36,255
- I know. - There's a real killer on the
real loose.
914
00:43:36,338 --> 00:43:37,505
Hey, babe. Relax.
915
00:43:37,588 --> 00:43:39,171
What's... What's wrong with you?
916
00:43:39,255 --> 00:43:41,921
For real? Come on. Will you just focus...
917
00:43:42,005 --> 00:43:43,005
- Fine. - on this with me?
918
00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:44,671
Um, yes. Uh...
919
00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:47,671
Okay. So there are three basic motives for
every murder.
920
00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:49,671
Yes. The first one is money.
921
00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:50,630
Right.
922
00:43:50,713 --> 00:43:52,671
Everyone was in Quince's will, except
Suzi.
923
00:43:52,755 --> 00:43:54,713
- Okay. - All right. The second one is
love.
924
00:43:54,796 --> 00:43:57,130
We know nobody loved that guy 'cause he
was kind of a prick.
925
00:43:57,213 --> 00:43:58,296
Suzi might have loved him.
926
00:43:58,380 --> 00:44:00,630
- That's what you would think... - Okay,
what's the third one?
927
00:44:00,713 --> 00:44:01,880
- Revenge. - Right.
928
00:44:01,963 --> 00:44:03,588
That's the one we should be thinking
about.
929
00:44:03,671 --> 00:44:06,046
I'm telling you, if we figure out who
hates this guy the most,
930
00:44:06,130 --> 00:44:07,005
that's our killer.
931
00:44:07,088 --> 00:44:08,421
Okay. Okay.
932
00:44:18,088 --> 00:44:20,796
So, this beard... It's incredible.
933
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,671
Do you oil that or condition?
934
00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:25,255
You won't get anything out of him.
935
00:44:25,338 --> 00:44:26,671
Oh, my gosh.
936
00:44:26,755 --> 00:44:29,796
Most of his life, he's been serving men
like me and Malcolm,
937
00:44:30,130 --> 00:44:32,005
despite being an heir to millions.
938
00:44:32,088 --> 00:44:33,296
He's rich, too?
939
00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:35,713
He's supposed to be, but he's one of 16
children,
940
00:44:35,796 --> 00:44:37,713
and he's half French.
941
00:44:37,796 --> 00:44:40,255
Are you familiar with French inheritance
law?
942
00:44:40,630 --> 00:44:41,588
Broad strokes.
943
00:44:41,671 --> 00:44:44,130
That Colonel guy, he's getting on my
nerves.
944
00:44:44,213 --> 00:44:45,796
- Yeah. - Shit. Walking around
945
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:47,463
- saying you killed both those guys. -
Huh?
946
00:44:47,546 --> 00:44:48,755
- Yeah. - What?
947
00:44:48,838 --> 00:44:50,255
And I'm like, come on.
948
00:44:50,338 --> 00:44:53,963
- My man wouldn't do... - Yo. Look, yo. I
didn't do nothing, son.
949
00:44:54,046 --> 00:44:56,213
- It doesn't matter what the will says. -
Uh-huh.
950
00:44:56,296 --> 00:44:59,171
The fortune must be divided equally among
the offspring.
951
00:44:59,255 --> 00:45:01,088
Why do the French have such a law?
952
00:45:01,171 --> 00:45:05,380
Well, they do it to keep all Frenchmen
from doing what Malcolm was trying to do,
953
00:45:05,463 --> 00:45:07,921
and leaving everything to their
mistresses.
954
00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:09,046
Oh.
955
00:45:09,963 --> 00:45:11,380
- My theory is... - Yeah?
956
00:45:11,755 --> 00:45:13,088
Juan Carlos done it, man.
957
00:45:13,171 --> 00:45:14,838
What? Why would he do that?
958
00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:17,588
Well, Juan Carlos's dad used to race for
Malcolm.
959
00:45:17,671 --> 00:45:21,713
Malcolm tried to get slick on some safety
angle, and shit got overlooked.
960
00:45:21,796 --> 00:45:23,046
- Yeah? - Okay.
961
00:45:24,130 --> 00:45:27,921
Juan Carlos's dad lost both his legs, G.
962
00:45:28,005 --> 00:45:29,963
Yeah, straight up.
963
00:45:30,046 --> 00:45:31,130
- Oh. - Gone.
964
00:45:31,213 --> 00:45:32,421
So it's payback time.
965
00:45:32,505 --> 00:45:34,088
A hundred percent of a doubt.
966
00:45:34,755 --> 00:45:35,588
Wh-What?
967
00:45:35,921 --> 00:45:38,005
- Juan Carlos is your man. - Oh, yeah.
968
00:45:38,088 --> 00:45:39,255
You guarantee that?
969
00:45:39,338 --> 00:45:40,338
Guarantee.
970
00:45:40,421 --> 00:45:41,755
Respect.
971
00:45:42,671 --> 00:45:44,421
Or maybe Sergei could have done it.
972
00:45:46,046 --> 00:45:48,213
- Yeah. - Okay. So you're not guaranteeing
it.
973
00:45:48,296 --> 00:45:49,588
No, not a hundred percent. No.
974
00:45:53,921 --> 00:45:56,088
Oh! Bless you.
975
00:45:56,755 --> 00:45:58,213
Would you like some Allegra?
976
00:45:58,713 --> 00:46:01,046
- I doubt that would be useful. - I know.
977
00:46:01,130 --> 00:46:03,338
It doesn't work. I tried to tell that to
Nick.
978
00:46:06,046 --> 00:46:07,380
Do you need something?
979
00:46:07,963 --> 00:46:09,921
Uh, no. Mm-mm.
980
00:46:10,755 --> 00:46:13,880
The guy that throws me off the most...
Cavendish...
981
00:46:13,963 --> 00:46:17,921
to me, he seems like he's compensating for
something,
982
00:46:18,005 --> 00:46:20,046
with the Great Gatsby look and the
jawline
983
00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:22,380
and the "hey, I'm so gorgeous." Am I
right?
984
00:46:22,463 --> 00:46:23,338
Mm-hmm.
985
00:46:23,421 --> 00:46:25,880
There's absolutely nothing wrong with
Charles Cavendish.
986
00:46:25,963 --> 00:46:27,630
- Isn't that the... - Except...
987
00:46:28,213 --> 00:46:30,130
he probably murdered his uncle.
988
00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:32,880
Well, that's one thing wrong.
989
00:46:34,505 --> 00:46:36,380
comes to the checkered flag!
990
00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:37,838
It's Juan Carlos!
991
00:46:38,921 --> 00:46:41,838
Winner of this year's Monte
Carlo Grand Prix!
992
00:46:41,921 --> 00:46:43,880
I find that Suzi Nakamura very
suspicious.
993
00:46:43,963 --> 00:46:46,005
She's the only one who didn't
have a motive.
994
00:46:46,088 --> 00:46:49,005
- It was Cavendish and you know it. - You
just... No, you just don't like him.
995
00:46:49,088 --> 00:46:52,005
I don't like him. I don't. I hate his
guts, but that's not it.
996
00:46:52,088 --> 00:46:54,838
- Did you just steal all of those? - He's
the sole blood heir.
997
00:46:54,921 --> 00:46:57,796
He stands to make the biggest claim for
the fortune.
998
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:58,838
I want one of these.
999
00:46:58,921 --> 00:47:01,380
- Malcolm stole his fiancée. - Okay.
1000
00:47:01,463 --> 00:47:03,171
That's all three motives.
1001
00:47:03,255 --> 00:47:05,046
Money, love, revenge.
1002
00:47:05,130 --> 00:47:06,838
We went past it. I don't know where we
are.
1003
00:47:06,921 --> 00:47:08,838
We're over here. Will you please try one
of these?
1004
00:47:08,921 --> 00:47:10,796
No! Oh, my God. You know what?
1005
00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:14,088
I think you just think it's Cavendish
'cause you're jealous of him.
1006
00:47:14,171 --> 00:47:15,921
- Oh, God. - Yeah.
1007
00:47:16,005 --> 00:47:17,921
- I'm jealous of him. - You are.
1008
00:47:18,005 --> 00:47:19,546
What? Why? What am I jealous of?
1009
00:47:19,630 --> 00:47:22,588
What is there to be jealous... He's rich.
He's charming.
1010
00:47:23,171 --> 00:47:24,630
He smells great.
1011
00:47:24,713 --> 00:47:26,296
What do you mean? What's he smell like?
1012
00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:28,880
He smells like he just came out of the
dryer.
1013
00:47:32,421 --> 00:47:34,046
What the... What the...
1014
00:47:38,088 --> 00:47:39,255
No, no, no.
1015
00:47:39,338 --> 00:47:40,838
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
1016
00:47:40,921 --> 00:47:42,546
We should test that for fingerprints
first.
1017
00:47:42,630 --> 00:47:44,921
Okay. Do you have the fingerprint testing
kit?
1018
00:47:45,296 --> 00:47:46,921
- What? - 'Cause I didn't pack mine.
1019
00:47:47,005 --> 00:47:48,046
Is it in your bag?
1020
00:47:48,130 --> 00:47:49,296
Stop it! Come on.
1021
00:47:50,213 --> 00:47:51,088
Hurry.
1022
00:47:51,713 --> 00:47:53,296
Oh, this is so crazy.
1023
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:56,796
Oh, God. Seriously?
1024
00:47:58,921 --> 00:48:00,171
Oh, got it.
1025
00:48:00,255 --> 00:48:02,088
Will you please just go see a
chiropractor?
1026
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:03,213
It's gonna be fine.
1027
00:48:04,463 --> 00:48:07,296
"Come to suite 802."
1028
00:48:07,380 --> 00:48:08,713
♪ Dum, dum, dum ♪
1029
00:48:08,796 --> 00:48:11,296
- We have to go to 802. - We're not going
to 802. Stop!
1030
00:48:11,380 --> 00:48:12,463
- Why? - It's a trap.
1031
00:48:12,546 --> 00:48:14,963
Why wouldn't whoever just knocked just
come in and talk to us?
1032
00:48:15,255 --> 00:48:16,796
Maybe he's being watched by the killer.
1033
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:19,005
What if we're being watched by the killer?
1034
00:48:19,671 --> 00:48:20,880
What if he was in here?
1035
00:48:21,588 --> 00:48:23,713
Maybe he stole my Peanut Mandamp;Ms.
1036
00:48:23,796 --> 00:48:25,755
I stole your Peanut Mandamp;Ms.
1037
00:48:26,171 --> 00:48:27,171
You stole my Peanut Mandamp;Ms?
1038
00:48:27,255 --> 00:48:29,463
- I wanted to see if they tasted the same!
- You got to stop eating.
1039
00:48:29,546 --> 00:48:30,838
You're gonna gain it all back.
1040
00:48:30,921 --> 00:48:32,713
I'm going to 802. Are you coming with me?
1041
00:48:32,796 --> 00:48:34,463
Okay, wait. Let me just...
1042
00:48:34,546 --> 00:48:36,546
- What? - figure something out.
1043
00:48:37,296 --> 00:48:38,380
God damn.
1044
00:48:43,005 --> 00:48:45,338
- What are you doing? - It's a weapon.
1045
00:48:45,421 --> 00:48:46,296
That's a lamp.
1046
00:48:46,380 --> 00:48:48,713
Not when I crack someone over the head
with it.
1047
00:48:48,796 --> 00:48:50,421
Will you stop questioning everything I do.
1048
00:48:50,505 --> 00:48:52,088
Well, everything you do is questionable.
1049
00:49:01,755 --> 00:49:02,963
That's 808.
1050
00:49:15,630 --> 00:49:16,505
Hello?
1051
00:49:18,463 --> 00:49:19,463
Note sender?
1052
00:49:21,963 --> 00:49:24,213
You told us to come to 802. Are you there?
1053
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,005
Are you dead?
1054
00:49:27,921 --> 00:49:29,338
He might be in the bathroom.
1055
00:49:34,088 --> 00:49:36,088
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1056
00:49:36,171 --> 00:49:37,463
Sit on the bed.
1057
00:49:37,546 --> 00:49:39,255
You speak... I thought you didn't speak.
1058
00:49:39,338 --> 00:49:40,838
Shut up. Sit on the bed.
1059
00:49:40,921 --> 00:49:42,171
- I'm sitting! - Shut up. Sit down.
1060
00:49:42,255 --> 00:49:44,921
We're gonna sit in front of the bed. All
good.
1061
00:49:45,671 --> 00:49:47,755
I cannot keep his secrets anymore.
1062
00:49:48,338 --> 00:49:50,088
You mean the Colonel's, right?
1063
00:49:50,171 --> 00:49:53,588
The Colonel's secrets? I know, it's so
hard to keep secrets.
1064
00:49:53,671 --> 00:49:55,880
It really is. You know, I have a friend
named Gwen,
1065
00:49:55,963 --> 00:49:57,838
and she has a box that she keeps under her
bed...
1066
00:49:57,921 --> 00:49:59,796
Look, don't give me that hairdresser shit.
1067
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:01,505
Just shut up. Listen.
1068
00:50:02,755 --> 00:50:05,088
Copenhagen, 1994.
1069
00:50:06,921 --> 00:50:08,755
We were leaving a state dinner.
1070
00:50:10,713 --> 00:50:12,588
I did not see the bomber,
1071
00:50:13,671 --> 00:50:15,130
but the Colonel did.
1072
00:50:15,421 --> 00:50:16,255
Whoa.
1073
00:50:16,338 --> 00:50:19,213
He threw his body across Mr. Quince.
1074
00:50:20,338 --> 00:50:21,546
He was hero.
1075
00:50:22,255 --> 00:50:25,088
For nine months, the Colonel lay in a
coma.
1076
00:50:26,213 --> 00:50:27,630
And when he awoke,
1077
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:32,880
he find his eye is not the only thing he
lost.
1078
00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:35,213
They blew off his dick. I knew it. I knew
it.
1079
00:50:35,296 --> 00:50:37,630
- His hand. His hand, honey. - The dick.
He's saying the dick.
1080
00:50:37,713 --> 00:50:39,213
- No, no, no. - He doesn't have a hand!
1081
00:50:39,296 --> 00:50:41,088
- I'm no talk about dick! - All right.
1082
00:50:42,713 --> 00:50:44,296
I talk about her.
1083
00:50:44,380 --> 00:50:45,588
- Me? - Her?
1084
00:50:45,671 --> 00:50:46,671
No, no, no.
1085
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:51,588
Madeleine...
1086
00:50:52,046 --> 00:50:53,546
LeBoutillier.
1087
00:50:55,588 --> 00:50:58,380
The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
1088
00:50:59,296 --> 00:51:03,130
She was the Colonel's fiancée when the
bomb exploded.
1089
00:51:04,630 --> 00:51:06,088
And when he awoke...
1090
00:51:07,796 --> 00:51:09,880
she was Mr. Quince's wife.
1091
00:51:10,338 --> 00:51:11,671
What the hell is with this guy?
1092
00:51:11,755 --> 00:51:14,421
- What, honestly, is his problem? - Can he
get his own woman maybe once?
1093
00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:15,838
And then she died.
1094
00:51:16,130 --> 00:51:17,296
No!
1095
00:51:17,671 --> 00:51:18,838
In childbirth.
1096
00:51:18,921 --> 00:51:19,796
- No! - Damn.
1097
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,880
The child died, too. A boy.
1098
00:51:22,338 --> 00:51:24,671
A boy who would have inherited it all.
1099
00:51:25,588 --> 00:51:29,088
After that, the Colonel never mentioned
Madeleine again,
1100
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:32,880
except for one night.
1101
00:51:32,963 --> 00:51:34,921
On the anniversary of her death,
1102
00:51:35,296 --> 00:51:38,088
he came to me, he was drinking. He say...
1103
00:51:40,005 --> 00:51:40,880
"Sergei."
1104
00:51:41,338 --> 00:51:42,630
He's doing impressions now.
1105
00:51:43,046 --> 00:51:46,505
"If you were to kill this Mr. Quince,
1106
00:51:46,588 --> 00:51:48,046
how would you do it?"
1107
00:51:48,963 --> 00:51:50,130
And I say,
1108
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,338
"Find isolated place,"
1109
00:51:53,963 --> 00:51:55,838
create confusion,
1110
00:51:55,921 --> 00:51:58,755
"make sure there are others with motive."
1111
00:51:59,713 --> 00:52:02,588
I told him how to kill the man!
1112
00:52:03,005 --> 00:52:05,588
- Holy shit! This is incredible! - Thank
you.
1113
00:52:05,671 --> 00:52:08,838
Okay. So the Colonel killed Malcolm and
Tobey over lost love.
1114
00:52:08,921 --> 00:52:10,213
- Got it. Perfect. - This is insane.
1115
00:52:10,296 --> 00:52:12,255
Will you just say all of that one more
time,
1116
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:13,796
but can you say it from the top?
1117
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,963
- I've gotta do a voice memo. - She screws
this up a lot.
1118
00:52:16,046 --> 00:52:18,338
- Just ask Siri. - Swipe it up.
1119
00:52:18,421 --> 00:52:19,546
- Swipe it up. - I did swipe up.
1120
00:52:19,630 --> 00:52:20,463
Say, "Siri",
1121
00:52:20,546 --> 00:52:22,630
"I would like to make voice memo."
1122
00:52:25,921 --> 00:52:28,005
Get into wardrobe. You are in danger.
1123
00:52:28,088 --> 00:52:30,546
- Get in the wardrobe, you said? - You are
in danger. Right now.
1124
00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:32,838
- Quickly. - Jesus. I don't know... Ow!
1125
00:52:33,463 --> 00:52:36,338
And whatever you hear, do not come out
till I say so.
1126
00:52:36,421 --> 00:52:37,463
- Yes, sir. - Yes.
1127
00:52:40,046 --> 00:52:41,630
You. What do you want?
1128
00:52:42,921 --> 00:52:45,296
No, they're not here. You should go.
1129
00:52:48,796 --> 00:52:50,296
Where's the lamp?
1130
00:52:50,755 --> 00:52:53,380
- I left it outside. - Why isn't it in
here?
1131
00:52:53,463 --> 00:52:56,088
- Now you like the lamp? You're
ridiculous. - Well, we needed...
1132
00:52:56,171 --> 00:52:58,671
- Let me open the door. - Wait, wait,
wait!
1133
00:52:58,755 --> 00:53:00,380
Sh.
1134
00:53:03,588 --> 00:53:04,713
Oh, thank God.
1135
00:53:05,213 --> 00:53:06,130
Killer...
1136
00:53:06,671 --> 00:53:07,546
is...
1137
00:53:07,630 --> 00:53:08,880
What?
1138
00:53:10,630 --> 00:53:12,088
Oh, God, no! No, no, no!
1139
00:53:12,171 --> 00:53:13,963
Oh, my God!
1140
00:53:14,046 --> 00:53:15,505
Is he dead? Is he dead?
1141
00:53:16,421 --> 00:53:17,296
He's dead!
1142
00:53:17,963 --> 00:53:19,296
Do we call housekeeping?
1143
00:53:19,380 --> 00:53:20,921
Oh! Honey!
1144
00:53:21,005 --> 00:53:22,713
Oh, my God!
1145
00:53:23,546 --> 00:53:24,671
Lock the door!
1146
00:53:24,755 --> 00:53:26,171
Oh, God!
1147
00:53:26,255 --> 00:53:27,755
Oh, my God.
1148
00:53:29,421 --> 00:53:30,505
Go! Out of the window!
1149
00:53:30,588 --> 00:53:33,296
What are you doing?
1150
00:53:34,338 --> 00:53:35,880
Okay, there's a ledge.
1151
00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:37,796
That's not a ledge, that's an edge!
1152
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,713
- Here we go. - Oh, my God.
1153
00:53:39,796 --> 00:53:42,838
I gotcha, a hundred percent. A hundred
percent. Slow.
1154
00:53:42,921 --> 00:53:45,296
- Oh, right there. - No! Oh, God.
1155
00:53:45,380 --> 00:53:46,588
Come on.
1156
00:53:46,671 --> 00:53:48,213
- Don't even look down. - Oh!
1157
00:53:48,296 --> 00:53:49,505
- Don't look down. - Oh, my God!
1158
00:53:49,588 --> 00:53:51,671
- Told you not to look down. - It's so
far.
1159
00:53:51,755 --> 00:53:52,796
Oh, my God.
1160
00:54:01,546 --> 00:54:03,921
He flosses angrier than you!
1161
00:54:10,088 --> 00:54:11,713
We got an empty room. Jackpot.
1162
00:54:11,796 --> 00:54:13,755
- Okay, we're gonna get up on this letter.
- Okay.
1163
00:54:13,838 --> 00:54:15,671
Ready? Go.
1164
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:18,630
God!
1165
00:54:18,713 --> 00:54:19,838
Oh, my God!
1166
00:54:21,713 --> 00:54:23,588
- You okay? Come on. - That was the
scariest thing.
1167
00:54:23,671 --> 00:54:26,505
- We gotta go. All right. I love you. -
Oh, my God.
1168
00:54:26,588 --> 00:54:28,880
- I love you. I'm so scared. - Let's go,
let's go, let's go.
1169
00:54:31,755 --> 00:54:34,005
Uh... What's in here? Uh...
1170
00:54:35,088 --> 00:54:36,880
No, you're not going back out there.
1171
00:54:38,046 --> 00:54:39,921
- Oh, yes! Finally! - Come here.
1172
00:54:40,588 --> 00:54:41,963
- Kiss me, Vik. - Oh!
1173
00:54:42,046 --> 00:54:43,755
Oh, kiss me. Kiss me here.
1174
00:54:43,838 --> 00:54:44,921
- Where? - Here.
1175
00:54:45,005 --> 00:54:47,380
- God, I love it. Quick, get me to the
bed. - Jesus Christ.
1176
00:54:47,463 --> 00:54:48,630
- Get up. - Yes!
1177
00:54:48,713 --> 00:54:51,671
I'm gonna drink you up like a milkshake
without a straw!
1178
00:54:51,755 --> 00:54:53,296
Yeah. Wow!
1179
00:54:53,380 --> 00:54:54,880
- That's right. - Vanilla milkshake!
1180
00:54:54,963 --> 00:54:56,838
Vanilla, chocolate, whatever!
1181
00:54:56,921 --> 00:54:57,796
- Yeah! - Yeah!
1182
00:54:57,880 --> 00:54:59,088
- Here we go! - Wow!
1183
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:02,088
Yeah! I hope the hotel's got insurance for
these springs
1184
00:55:02,171 --> 00:55:03,630
'cause I'm gonna bust this bed up.
1185
00:55:03,713 --> 00:55:04,671
Oh, my God!
1186
00:55:04,755 --> 00:55:06,880
- You're much stronger than you look, Vik!
- That's right!
1187
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,630
- You ready for this? - I don't know if I
am!
1188
00:55:10,713 --> 00:55:12,630
Oh, Grace!
1189
00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:16,213
- Grace! Oh, Grace! - Huh? Why do you keep
saying Grace?
1190
00:55:16,296 --> 00:55:18,338
Darling, it's the only thing that gets me
in the mood.
1191
00:55:18,421 --> 00:55:22,046
Grace! You look so good for your age!
1192
00:55:22,130 --> 00:55:25,588
- So good for your age! Oh, God! -
Your skin is beautiful!
1193
00:55:25,671 --> 00:55:28,796
- You have no wrinkles... - No wrinkles
any...
1194
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:29,755
Anywhere!
1195
00:55:29,838 --> 00:55:32,630
Oh, my God! Grace, you're so...
1196
00:55:32,713 --> 00:55:33,796
Oh, God!
1197
00:55:36,588 --> 00:55:37,880
- Uh-oh. - Vik.
1198
00:55:37,963 --> 00:55:39,005
Mm-hmm?
1199
00:55:39,088 --> 00:55:40,171
What happened?
1200
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,838
Maybe we should, like, conversate a little
bit.
1201
00:55:43,921 --> 00:55:45,546
Get to know each other. Know what I mean?
1202
00:55:45,630 --> 00:55:48,921
Like, eye to eye, really connect. Tell me
about your favorite band.
1203
00:55:50,046 --> 00:55:53,505
I'm going to the casino. Maybe I'll get
lucky there.
1204
00:55:53,588 --> 00:55:56,463
Look, look, look! Please don't tell
anybody about this
1205
00:55:56,546 --> 00:55:58,713
'cause I've got some mad sex cred in these
parts, yeah.
1206
00:55:58,796 --> 00:55:59,921
My people know me.
1207
00:56:00,005 --> 00:56:01,296
I'll buy you a hat!
1208
00:56:02,963 --> 00:56:05,088
I can't believe this just happened.
1209
00:56:05,171 --> 00:56:06,546
Okay, okay.
1210
00:56:08,046 --> 00:56:09,588
All right. We gotta calm down.
1211
00:56:09,671 --> 00:56:11,796
- This has been a really weird day, huh? -
Yeah.
1212
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:13,671
Okay. Let's just get out of this place.
1213
00:56:13,755 --> 00:56:17,296
Absolutely. Someplace with beer though,
please.
1214
00:56:17,380 --> 00:56:18,796
"I'll go buy you a hat."
1215
00:56:21,713 --> 00:56:24,588
Sergei was trying to tell us the Colonel
did it,
1216
00:56:24,671 --> 00:56:27,713
but then he gets shot. There's no way the
Colonel shot him
1217
00:56:27,796 --> 00:56:29,463
'cause the Colonel was having a floss
party.
1218
00:56:29,546 --> 00:56:31,838
Did you see how crazy he was going with
the teeth flossing?
1219
00:56:31,921 --> 00:56:34,255
- I did. - What did he have in there? A
buffet?
1220
00:56:38,463 --> 00:56:40,171
- Um... - Oh, my gosh.
1221
00:56:45,213 --> 00:56:46,963
- What's he saying? - I don't know.
1222
00:56:47,046 --> 00:56:49,171
Well, you took French in high school,
didn't you?
1223
00:56:49,255 --> 00:56:52,380
I don't remember high school! What did you
take in high school?
1224
00:56:52,463 --> 00:56:54,588
- Latin. - Oh, great. Who takes freakin'
Latin?
1225
00:56:54,671 --> 00:56:56,380
- People who have a hot Latin teacher. -
Shh!
1226
00:56:58,796 --> 00:57:00,963
Okay, so something, something...
1227
00:57:01,046 --> 00:57:03,296
Something cake. Something's frosted.
1228
00:57:03,380 --> 00:57:04,671
Okay. You're fired. You're fired.
1229
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:06,338
- Okay, I told you... - Excuse me, sir.
1230
00:57:06,421 --> 00:57:09,255
Could you translate that for us, please?
S'il vous plaît?
1231
00:57:09,671 --> 00:57:11,713
Uh, the TV says that, uh...
1232
00:57:12,380 --> 00:57:14,630
you are the most wanted... for...
1233
00:57:15,713 --> 00:57:16,713
for meurtre.
1234
00:57:16,796 --> 00:57:18,505
- No, no, no. - Okay, no, no. We...
1235
00:57:18,588 --> 00:57:20,505
This is a complete misunderstanding, okay?
1236
00:57:20,588 --> 00:57:22,005
We were just around...
1237
00:57:22,088 --> 00:57:24,213
- We saw... - a lot of people that
happened to die,
1238
00:57:24,296 --> 00:57:25,421
but we didn't murt.
1239
00:57:25,505 --> 00:57:28,296
You are to be arrested at first sight.
1240
00:57:28,380 --> 00:57:29,880
- Us? - So, here's what we do.
1241
00:57:29,963 --> 00:57:32,505
What are you talking about? What are you
doing?
1242
00:57:32,588 --> 00:57:34,505
They can't track our SIM card now.
1243
00:57:34,588 --> 00:57:36,505
Yeah, then pull the SIM card out.
1244
00:57:36,588 --> 00:57:39,005
You don't just submerge our phones into a
bucket of beer.
1245
00:57:39,088 --> 00:57:42,713
Now... Now he's saying that madame is
hairdresser,
1246
00:57:42,796 --> 00:57:44,963
you are, uh... police officer?
1247
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:46,921
No, he's... he's a detective.
1248
00:57:47,213 --> 00:57:48,338
Ah. No, he's not.
1249
00:57:48,421 --> 00:57:49,796
- Yes, he is. - Yes, I am! Yes, I am!
1250
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:52,338
No, no, no. He says that you have, uh,
confessed
1251
00:57:52,421 --> 00:57:54,213
to lying about that you are detective.
1252
00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,296
What? No. Now he's making stuff up.
1253
00:57:56,380 --> 00:57:59,130
TV says you have failed your detective
exam many, many times.
1254
00:57:59,213 --> 00:58:01,630
All right! Enough translato. That's
not...
1255
00:58:01,713 --> 00:58:03,921
You're just improvising, pal, and it's
getting weird.
1256
00:58:04,005 --> 00:58:05,296
What... What is he talking about?
1257
00:58:05,380 --> 00:58:07,296
I will repeat this message in
English.
1258
00:58:07,796 --> 00:58:08,963
Nick Spitz...
1259
00:58:09,380 --> 00:58:10,671
is many things,
1260
00:58:10,755 --> 00:58:12,046
but not a detective.
1261
00:58:14,463 --> 00:58:15,588
Well, I heard that.
1262
00:58:15,671 --> 00:58:17,713
I will repeat this message in
Spanish.
1263
00:58:17,796 --> 00:58:18,921
Did you lie to me?
1264
00:58:19,963 --> 00:58:21,505
I didn't... I didn't lie.
1265
00:58:21,588 --> 00:58:23,546
- The guy... The guy was... - Oh, God. No,
no, no.
1266
00:58:24,338 --> 00:58:26,046
Whoa. Hey.
1267
00:58:26,130 --> 00:58:28,046
- No. - Hun, hun, hun.
1268
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:30,880
This whole thing's just... just very
complicated.
1269
00:58:30,963 --> 00:58:33,921
Complicated, yeah. I thought people were
simple.
1270
00:58:34,005 --> 00:58:36,046
Audrey, please.
1271
00:58:36,130 --> 00:58:38,880
What? Did you lie about getting that
raise, too?
1272
00:58:40,921 --> 00:58:43,130
How are we affording this trip?
1273
00:58:44,213 --> 00:58:47,380
You made me feel like I had to take you on
this honeymoon.
1274
00:58:47,463 --> 00:58:50,755
You told me you already booked this
honeymoon.
1275
00:58:51,171 --> 00:58:53,380
You gave this to me. This was my
anniversary gift.
1276
00:58:53,463 --> 00:58:55,088
- Okay. - You lied about that, too?
1277
00:58:55,171 --> 00:58:56,630
We'll get into all that, okay?
1278
00:58:56,713 --> 00:59:00,213
But right now, I gotta figure out how
we're gonna get out of this situation.
1279
00:59:00,296 --> 00:59:03,130
You have to figure this out? What do you
think I've been doing?
1280
00:59:03,213 --> 00:59:05,005
This is what I do for a living,
sweetheart!
1281
00:59:05,088 --> 00:59:06,796
You're a goddamn hairdresser!
1282
00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:10,255
- I'm sorry. - Whoa.
1283
00:59:12,921 --> 00:59:15,088
- Where you going? - I need a minute.
1284
00:59:15,171 --> 00:59:17,171
We don't have a minute!
1285
00:59:17,255 --> 00:59:19,421
Just leave me alone. Don't you follow me.
1286
00:59:39,755 --> 00:59:41,880
You need to get out of Monte Carlo right
away.
1287
00:59:42,546 --> 00:59:44,755
I got you into this, I'll help get you
out. Come with me.
1288
00:59:45,380 --> 00:59:47,255
- Now! We have to go. - Right.
1289
00:59:49,546 --> 00:59:51,546
- Lake Como, back roads. - Yes, sir.
1290
00:59:55,338 --> 00:59:57,463
- Where's Nick? - I don't know. I don't
care.
1291
01:00:25,963 --> 01:00:27,588
Jimmy boy, it's Nick.
1292
01:00:27,671 --> 01:00:29,255
Where are you?
1293
01:00:29,338 --> 01:00:31,130
You guys are all over the news.
1294
01:00:31,213 --> 01:00:32,630
They say you killed three people.
1295
01:00:32,713 --> 01:00:33,921
Do you think that's possible?
1296
01:00:34,671 --> 01:00:36,296
With your aim? Hell, no.
1297
01:00:36,380 --> 01:00:39,380
Exactly. Now I'm gonna text you two
international numbers.
1298
01:00:39,463 --> 01:00:41,838
Can you link them together so I can follow
one from the other?
1299
01:00:42,255 --> 01:00:44,046
Are you trying to get my ass fired?
1300
01:00:44,130 --> 01:00:46,046
But hell, yeah.
1301
01:00:46,130 --> 01:00:46,963
Thank you.
1302
01:00:47,046 --> 01:00:49,796
There's one more thing I want you to check
into for me.
1303
01:00:54,296 --> 01:00:55,630
What are we doing?
1304
01:00:55,713 --> 01:00:58,255
I just have to dash in for a quick
appointment with my lawyer.
1305
01:00:58,671 --> 01:01:00,838
We're going to read Malcolm's will at the
villa later on,
1306
01:01:00,921 --> 01:01:02,755
and I'm going to get what's mine.
1307
01:01:02,838 --> 01:01:06,005
Charles, that just sounded very
suspicious.
1308
01:01:06,421 --> 01:01:07,921
What about this week doesn't?
1309
01:01:15,296 --> 01:01:16,338
Oh, God.
1310
01:01:21,046 --> 01:01:22,505
Oh, my God. Claritin.
1311
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,505
This is Japanese Claritin.
1312
01:02:16,588 --> 01:02:17,546
Hello?
1313
01:02:19,838 --> 01:02:20,838
Charles?
1314
01:02:27,088 --> 01:02:27,921
Audrey!
1315
01:02:28,921 --> 01:02:30,005
- Ow! - God!
1316
01:02:30,088 --> 01:02:31,046
- Ow! - What the...
1317
01:02:31,130 --> 01:02:31,963
What the...
1318
01:02:32,713 --> 01:02:34,338
What are you doing here?
1319
01:02:34,421 --> 01:02:37,088
I followed Suzi here.
1320
01:02:37,171 --> 01:02:38,588
- Suzi's here? - Yes.
1321
01:02:38,671 --> 01:02:42,421
Okay, Cavendish came here to find Suzi.
I'm telling you, Cavendish is in on this.
1322
01:02:42,505 --> 01:02:43,630
I know. I knew that!
1323
01:02:43,713 --> 01:02:46,630
Okay. I just found a box of Japanese
Claritin
1324
01:02:46,713 --> 01:02:49,046
in the back of Cavendish's limo.
1325
01:02:49,130 --> 01:02:51,171
So what? They were planning this the whole
damn time?
1326
01:02:51,255 --> 01:02:53,088
The whole time. This was their plan.
1327
01:02:53,171 --> 01:02:55,171
- So they kill Malcolm, they kill Tobey...
- Yeah.
1328
01:02:55,255 --> 01:02:57,338
Before Malcolm has time to sign the new
will.
1329
01:02:57,421 --> 01:02:59,546
- Right. - That way, Cavendish inherits
everything.
1330
01:02:59,838 --> 01:03:01,130
And he splits it with Suzi.
1331
01:03:01,213 --> 01:03:03,713
And if they killed him after, then Suzi
would have inherited.
1332
01:03:03,796 --> 01:03:05,880
- They still would have split that. - It
was a win-win.
1333
01:03:05,963 --> 01:03:06,838
Oh, look at that.
1334
01:03:07,505 --> 01:03:08,921
Who figured that whole thing out?
1335
01:03:09,380 --> 01:03:11,296
The hairdresser. Mm-mm. The hairdresser.
1336
01:03:16,171 --> 01:03:17,421
I got you!
1337
01:03:17,505 --> 01:03:18,421
Jesus! Oh, my God.
1338
01:03:18,796 --> 01:03:20,296
It's just like Death at the
Library!
1339
01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,255
What happens in Death at the
Library?
1340
01:03:22,755 --> 01:03:25,130
They died. That's why it's called Death
at the Library.
1341
01:03:29,463 --> 01:03:31,130
Nick, what are you doing?
1342
01:03:31,630 --> 01:03:33,671
We are going to push this over on the
count of three,
1343
01:03:33,755 --> 01:03:35,505
- and then we're gonna run. - We're gonna
what?
1344
01:03:35,755 --> 01:03:37,588
- Don't you trust me? - No!
1345
01:03:38,255 --> 01:03:39,880
Ready? One!
1346
01:03:41,380 --> 01:03:42,630
Two!
1347
01:03:43,338 --> 01:03:44,588
Three!
1348
01:03:56,255 --> 01:03:57,505
Oh, look! There!
1349
01:04:03,588 --> 01:04:06,088
Oh! Sorry! Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry.
1350
01:04:06,171 --> 01:04:07,171
Come on.
1351
01:04:10,630 --> 01:04:11,838
- Is that... - Is that Juan Carlos?
1352
01:04:12,088 --> 01:04:14,005
- Juan Carlos! - Hey!
1353
01:04:14,296 --> 01:04:15,171
Hello!
1354
01:04:15,255 --> 01:04:16,421
- Juan Carlos! - How am I?
1355
01:04:16,505 --> 01:04:18,505
- No, no. Suzi! Suzi! - Suzi! Suzi! Which
way is Suzi?
1356
01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:20,963
- Married to Malcolm. - You two married!
Good!
1357
01:04:21,046 --> 01:04:22,046
- No! - No!
1358
01:04:22,130 --> 01:04:25,963
Suzi vidisti? Putamus esse illa
interfectorem.
1359
01:04:26,421 --> 01:04:28,255
- Yes! - Latin, baby!
1360
01:04:28,338 --> 01:04:30,046
- Still the international language! - I
got it!
1361
01:04:32,255 --> 01:04:33,296
Shit.
1362
01:04:35,046 --> 01:04:36,255
- Oh! - Yeah!
1363
01:04:41,963 --> 01:04:42,921
Where'd she go?
1364
01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:44,630
She was right there.
1365
01:04:45,213 --> 01:04:47,755
You should have never come to Lake Como.
1366
01:04:48,046 --> 01:04:50,130
- Wait a minute. - We know about you and
Cavendish.
1367
01:04:50,213 --> 01:04:52,713
- You know nothing. - We know you're still
in love,
1368
01:04:52,796 --> 01:04:54,880
and we know that love is tough without
money.
1369
01:04:54,963 --> 01:04:55,838
Isn't it, Suzi?
1370
01:04:56,088 --> 01:04:58,380
I'll take your word for it. You're the one
whose shoes
1371
01:04:58,463 --> 01:05:00,046
still got a sticker from Marshalls on it.
1372
01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:02,171
- They have name brands now! - How dare
you?
1373
01:05:02,255 --> 01:05:03,838
- They have name brands now! - How dare
you?
1374
01:05:03,921 --> 01:05:05,713
- What? - These are from Target.
1375
01:05:05,796 --> 01:05:08,130
- How could you not tell me? - I don't
look at your...
1376
01:05:08,213 --> 01:05:09,671
Shut up!
1377
01:05:09,755 --> 01:05:12,255
- Oh! - Suzi, don't. Please, don't do
this.
1378
01:05:12,338 --> 01:05:14,880
No matter what you do, you're not gonna be
safe. I'm telling you.
1379
01:05:14,963 --> 01:05:17,255
One murderer always double-crosses the
other murderer.
1380
01:05:17,338 --> 01:05:19,880
- She reads the books. - It's just a
cliché of the genre!
1381
01:05:19,963 --> 01:05:21,296
I'm telling you!
1382
01:05:23,880 --> 01:05:25,463
Hey! Halloween!
1383
01:05:27,171 --> 01:05:28,671
No, no, no! Oh, my God!
1384
01:05:28,755 --> 01:05:29,588
Go, go, go!
1385
01:05:30,005 --> 01:05:32,130
Cavendish, you move, I'll blow your head
off!
1386
01:05:35,296 --> 01:05:36,463
Shoot at him!
1387
01:05:40,505 --> 01:05:42,463
Oh, babe, you're the worst shot!
1388
01:05:42,713 --> 01:05:45,088
Those were warning shots, honey!
1389
01:05:45,171 --> 01:05:47,296
- Oh, yes! I go fast! - Go!
1390
01:05:48,380 --> 01:05:50,880
Ambulance! Emergencia!
1391
01:05:53,921 --> 01:05:54,755
Oh!
1392
01:06:00,213 --> 01:06:02,380
Okay, Suzi. You've gotta tell me who did
this.
1393
01:06:02,463 --> 01:06:03,921
Slow down. Don't use your words.
1394
01:06:04,005 --> 01:06:06,130
Let's charade it, okay. Just tell me with
your hand.
1395
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:08,463
Uh, claw. Bear claw.
1396
01:06:08,546 --> 01:06:09,880
No. Grizzly bear claw.
1397
01:06:09,963 --> 01:06:11,671
Oh! Chewy. Chewy.
1398
01:06:11,755 --> 01:06:13,463
So it's Sergei? No, Sergei's dead.
1399
01:06:13,963 --> 01:06:15,046
Hey!
1400
01:06:16,130 --> 01:06:19,046
Have you got tires on your feet? Good God!
1401
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:21,838
Spooning. Eating. Uh...
1402
01:06:21,921 --> 01:06:23,838
Ice cream. No, no. Gelato. Gelato?
1403
01:06:23,921 --> 01:06:26,880
Oh, God. It's amazing how pretty you are
when you're... I'm sorry.
1404
01:06:27,130 --> 01:06:27,963
Hey.
1405
01:06:28,046 --> 01:06:29,505
Hey! Come on!
1406
01:06:31,921 --> 01:06:33,255
Oh, shoot!
1407
01:06:45,463 --> 01:06:46,380
Hey!
1408
01:06:49,838 --> 01:06:51,505
Ba-ba-ba-ba!
1409
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,005
Crazy... crazy... Crazy mad love!
1410
01:06:54,255 --> 01:06:56,463
It's crazy 'cause you're madly in love
with Cavendish.
1411
01:06:57,005 --> 01:06:59,005
It's Cavendish, no? Sleeping With the
Ene...
1412
01:06:59,088 --> 01:07:00,130
Sleeping.
1413
01:07:00,213 --> 01:07:01,338
You're not sleeping.
1414
01:07:01,630 --> 01:07:04,213
- She's dead now? - I don't know why this
keeps happening!
1415
01:07:04,296 --> 01:07:06,088
Let's go! We gotta get out of
here.
1416
01:07:06,171 --> 01:07:07,880
- Oh, my God. Come on. -
Where?
1417
01:07:08,838 --> 01:07:11,171
Close the airports! Search house to house!
1418
01:07:11,255 --> 01:07:14,088
As God as my witness, I will find Nick and
Audrey Spitz.
1419
01:07:14,838 --> 01:07:16,005
- Inspector? - Yes?
1420
01:07:16,088 --> 01:07:18,421
I have Nick and Audrey Spitz on the phone
for you.
1421
01:07:18,505 --> 01:07:20,296
- Huh? - Nick and Audrey Spitz.
1422
01:07:22,546 --> 01:07:23,380
Where are you?
1423
01:07:23,713 --> 01:07:26,338
We are on our way to Quince's villa right
now.
1424
01:07:27,046 --> 01:07:29,213
Oh, okay.
1425
01:07:29,296 --> 01:07:32,046
I'm sorry, I wasn't prepared for you to
actually answer that.
1426
01:07:32,463 --> 01:07:33,880
We are being framed right now.
1427
01:07:33,963 --> 01:07:36,921
You meet us at the villa, we will reveal
the killer.
1428
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:38,880
That kinda rhymed.
1429
01:07:39,838 --> 01:07:41,005
Which is cool, I think.
1430
01:07:51,880 --> 01:07:53,671
- Look at this place. - Let's go.
1431
01:07:53,755 --> 01:07:55,630
- Oh, my God. - This is big.
1432
01:07:55,713 --> 01:07:59,463
This is a big house. This is what they
call rich people shit.
1433
01:07:59,546 --> 01:08:01,588
Lord Cavendish is expecting us.
1434
01:08:01,921 --> 01:08:03,671
Second floor, eighth door on the left.
1435
01:08:03,755 --> 01:08:05,588
Yes, that's right. That's what he told us,
yeah.
1436
01:08:05,671 --> 01:08:08,755
Okay, so take a five-spotter.
1437
01:08:08,838 --> 01:08:11,588
Your five euros is how much American-wise?
1438
01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:13,005
Six American dollars.
1439
01:08:13,088 --> 01:08:15,296
Oh, that's, uh... that's more than I...
1440
01:08:15,380 --> 01:08:18,087
- Can I get a half a euro back... - Oh,
God. Please, Nick. Thank you.
1441
01:08:18,171 --> 01:08:20,130
I didn't know they were ahead of us with
the money.
1442
01:08:20,921 --> 01:08:23,046
- Second floor... - I got no bullets left,
1443
01:08:23,130 --> 01:08:25,796
so we'll bluff 'em until Interpol gets
here.
1444
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:27,505
Honey, you just gotta be careful.
1445
01:08:27,587 --> 01:08:30,546
This guy has killed four people, that we
know of.
1446
01:08:30,837 --> 01:08:32,921
Good news is, we know who did it.
1447
01:08:33,005 --> 01:08:34,671
- Okay. - Hard part is over with.
1448
01:08:34,755 --> 01:08:35,630
Okay.
1449
01:08:35,712 --> 01:08:36,712
And...
1450
01:08:37,130 --> 01:08:38,255
What's up, Dish?
1451
01:08:38,630 --> 01:08:41,005
Stay still! I'll shoot you right in the
six-pack!
1452
01:08:41,087 --> 01:08:42,755
- You hear me, bitch? - Calm down, babe.
1453
01:08:43,046 --> 01:08:45,837
Make a move! I dare you!
1454
01:08:45,921 --> 01:08:46,837
I dare...
1455
01:08:46,921 --> 01:08:47,796
Oh, my God!
1456
01:08:48,087 --> 01:08:49,505
- He's dead. - He's dead.
1457
01:08:49,837 --> 01:08:51,171
- Okay, he's dead. - Oh, my God.
1458
01:08:51,255 --> 01:08:53,755
- What the hell? - Oh, God. Case reopened,
babe.
1459
01:08:53,837 --> 01:08:55,505
They must have poisoned his drink!
1460
01:08:55,587 --> 01:08:57,671
- Nick! - And look at his face. It's...
1461
01:08:57,755 --> 01:09:01,130
I mean, besides the foaming mouth, he
still kinda looks good.
1462
01:09:01,212 --> 01:09:02,296
What is with this man?
1463
01:09:03,671 --> 01:09:06,212
We told the police. We called the police.
We told 'em to come here.
1464
01:09:06,296 --> 01:09:07,671
- Yes. - We've got to stop them.
1465
01:09:08,046 --> 01:09:11,462
It's not like canceling a pizza, honey.
You tell 'em to show up, they show up.
1466
01:09:11,546 --> 01:09:13,462
If he's not the killer, who is the killer?
1467
01:09:13,546 --> 01:09:16,796
And if we don't know who the killer is
before they get here, we're screwed!
1468
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:17,962
Do you understand this?
1469
01:09:18,046 --> 01:09:19,880
He's gotta be here in this house.
1470
01:09:19,962 --> 01:09:23,462
This is gorgeous wallpaper. Is that
fabric? Is this embossed?
1471
01:09:23,546 --> 01:09:26,880
Sweetheart, you're losing it! You're
making me nuts right now!
1472
01:09:26,962 --> 01:09:28,171
No, I know. Hold on. Okay.
1473
01:09:28,255 --> 01:09:29,880
All right, it's good.
1474
01:09:29,962 --> 01:09:31,087
You all right? You breathing?
1475
01:09:31,171 --> 01:09:33,130
- I have to breathe through this. - Look
at me.
1476
01:09:33,921 --> 01:09:35,962
- We gotta turn ourselves in. - Wait,
what?
1477
01:09:36,046 --> 01:09:38,505
They're all gonna show up. If we run,
they're gonna shoot us.
1478
01:09:38,587 --> 01:09:40,462
What do you mean? We're gonna just go to
jail?
1479
01:09:40,546 --> 01:09:42,421
It's better than getting shot, ain't it?
1480
01:09:43,171 --> 01:09:45,171
I don't feel... I don't feel good.
1481
01:09:45,255 --> 01:09:46,587
- Babe. - Oh, God.
1482
01:09:46,671 --> 01:09:47,962
It's an Italian prison.
1483
01:09:48,046 --> 01:09:49,755
You know the food's gonna be incredible.
1484
01:09:49,837 --> 01:09:52,296
We'll have meatballs and pesto sauce and
all that.
1485
01:09:52,380 --> 01:09:54,212
It's not co-ed, honey. All right?
1486
01:09:54,296 --> 01:09:56,255
We're... We're not gonna be in jail
together.
1487
01:09:56,338 --> 01:09:57,338
I know.
1488
01:09:57,671 --> 01:09:58,880
Why did you lie to me?
1489
01:10:02,213 --> 01:10:03,213
'Cause I was...
1490
01:10:03,713 --> 01:10:05,755
I was, uh... I was embarrassed.
1491
01:10:06,046 --> 01:10:07,088
With me?
1492
01:10:07,796 --> 01:10:09,255
Why? I...
1493
01:10:09,755 --> 01:10:12,630
I could've helped you figure that out.
That's why we're together.
1494
01:10:12,713 --> 01:10:13,546
I know.
1495
01:10:13,838 --> 01:10:16,380
Remember when I couldn't pay my rent at
the salon,
1496
01:10:16,463 --> 01:10:20,713
and then you were like, "Oh, okay." You
got that boot off my landlord's car.
1497
01:10:21,005 --> 01:10:23,130
- That got me another week. - Yeah, I
remember.
1498
01:10:23,213 --> 01:10:25,213
Remember when your cholesterol was through
the roof?
1499
01:10:25,505 --> 01:10:28,213
And then I made you eat egg whites? You
hate egg whites.
1500
01:10:28,296 --> 01:10:30,088
And I made you do it, and I did it with
you.
1501
01:10:30,171 --> 01:10:32,755
You helped me not miss yolks anymore.
1502
01:10:32,838 --> 01:10:34,921
That's right. That's what we do. We do
things together.
1503
01:10:35,005 --> 01:10:38,380
So can we please just figure this out,
too?
1504
01:10:38,463 --> 01:10:40,255
We just don't know who did it.
1505
01:10:40,338 --> 01:10:42,546
But Nick, we know who didn't do it.
1506
01:10:42,630 --> 01:10:43,921
- All right? - Right.
1507
01:10:44,005 --> 01:10:48,046
So let's just go downstairs and act like
we figured it out.
1508
01:10:48,546 --> 01:10:51,463
If we're gonna do that, we gotta... we
just gotta look confident.
1509
01:10:51,546 --> 01:10:54,380
All right. If we're gonna look confident,
we've gotta dress it.
1510
01:10:54,463 --> 01:10:56,296
I already know what I wanna wear.
1511
01:10:56,671 --> 01:10:57,505
What?
1512
01:11:11,380 --> 01:11:12,630
What's up, fools?
1513
01:11:12,713 --> 01:11:15,005
Okay, we solved the case. Boom.
1514
01:11:15,088 --> 01:11:18,213
Yo, yo! Where'd you get the clothes? It's
a little much.
1515
01:11:18,713 --> 01:11:19,588
Um...
1516
01:11:19,671 --> 01:11:22,796
I found this beautiful dress in a random
closet.
1517
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,255
- You're looking gorgeous, by the way. -
Thanks, baby.
1518
01:11:25,338 --> 01:11:27,963
- And he got this stunning tux... -
Mm-hmm.
1519
01:11:28,338 --> 01:11:29,171
Off a...
1520
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:31,255
Oh, why candy-coat it?
1521
01:11:31,338 --> 01:11:32,463
- A corpse. - Yeah.
1522
01:11:32,546 --> 01:11:33,838
There's another corpse?
1523
01:11:33,921 --> 01:11:35,296
Jeez! Sorry, yes.
1524
01:11:35,380 --> 01:11:37,046
Upstairs, eighth door on the left.
1525
01:11:38,046 --> 01:11:40,505
To whom does this dead corpse belong?
1526
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:41,921
Oh, yeah. You guys don't know.
1527
01:11:42,005 --> 01:11:43,213
- Bad news, guys. - It's terrible.
1528
01:11:43,296 --> 01:11:44,213
Cavendish is dead.
1529
01:11:45,630 --> 01:11:48,213
You stole the tux off Charlie's dead body?
1530
01:11:48,296 --> 01:11:50,755
And it fits perfectly. Little tight in the
crotch, to be honest.
1531
01:11:50,838 --> 01:11:52,838
Just kidding. No, he's got me beat. He's
got me beat.
1532
01:11:52,921 --> 01:11:54,588
Wait. Where's Suzi?
1533
01:11:54,963 --> 01:11:56,338
- She's dead. - Dead.
1534
01:11:56,421 --> 01:11:57,421
- Oh! - Oh, my God!
1535
01:11:57,505 --> 01:12:00,213
Y'all are like the miniature Manson
Family!
1536
01:12:00,296 --> 01:12:01,713
- No, no, no. - Nick and Audrey Spitz,
1537
01:12:01,796 --> 01:12:03,463
- you are under arrest. - Listen.
1538
01:12:03,546 --> 01:12:05,171
Ferme la bouche. Is that what it
is?
1539
01:12:05,255 --> 01:12:07,921
- Just give us a second. We got this. - We
got this. Let's go.
1540
01:12:08,005 --> 01:12:08,880
Thank you.
1541
01:12:10,171 --> 01:12:13,880
All right. Ladies and gentlemen, let's
review the facts.
1542
01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:14,838
Malcolm Quince,
1543
01:12:14,921 --> 01:12:16,796
he was the first to get murdered.
1544
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:18,505
We all assumed it was Tobey.
1545
01:12:18,588 --> 01:12:20,796
- No, we all assumed you did it. - Mm-hmm.
1546
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:23,505
- Okay. - Yeah, but Tobey hated his
father,
1547
01:12:23,588 --> 01:12:26,546
and he stood to inherit billions of
dollars.
1548
01:12:26,630 --> 01:12:29,171
- Until he caught some lead to the dome. -
Mm-hmm.
1549
01:12:29,255 --> 01:12:31,380
- Can you feel me, Raja? - Pew-pew-pew!
1550
01:12:31,671 --> 01:12:32,796
- There it is. - And then,
1551
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:36,005
before Sergei was shot, he told us that
the Colonel did it.
1552
01:12:36,088 --> 01:12:37,088
He told you what?
1553
01:12:37,171 --> 01:12:40,421
But we know you didn't do it, Colonel,
because we saw you flossing your teeth
1554
01:12:40,505 --> 01:12:42,463
when we were shimmying by your window that
night.
1555
01:12:42,755 --> 01:12:45,505
You two were spying on me in my bathroom?
1556
01:12:45,588 --> 01:12:49,255
Trust me, I did... We saw a lot of shit
that night that I did not want to see.
1557
01:12:49,338 --> 01:12:52,921
I mean, apologize ahead of time. We had to
see you guys having sex.
1558
01:12:53,213 --> 01:12:54,296
You, um...
1559
01:12:54,380 --> 01:12:56,130
You... saw that?
1560
01:12:56,213 --> 01:12:57,880
Maharajah, some advice for you.
1561
01:12:57,963 --> 01:12:59,963
Maybe grab the bottom and squeeze.
1562
01:13:01,130 --> 01:13:02,546
Huh. Word.
1563
01:13:03,088 --> 01:13:03,921
Anyway...
1564
01:13:04,005 --> 01:13:05,213
French fries. Yes.
1565
01:13:05,296 --> 01:13:07,713
Actually, Juan Carlos, you had nothing to
do with this.
1566
01:13:07,796 --> 01:13:09,505
You couldn't have had anything to do with
it
1567
01:13:09,588 --> 01:13:12,255
because you were with us when Suzi got
killed.
1568
01:13:12,338 --> 01:13:14,046
- So it wasn't you. - Mm-mm.
1569
01:13:14,130 --> 01:13:15,505
- It wasn't you. - Mm-mm.
1570
01:13:15,588 --> 01:13:17,338
- It wasn't you. - No.
1571
01:13:17,421 --> 01:13:18,546
It wasn't you.
1572
01:13:18,921 --> 01:13:20,463
Holy shit! Maybe we did do it.
1573
01:13:20,546 --> 01:13:22,005
- What? - Did you?
1574
01:13:22,088 --> 01:13:24,046
- Because listen... - What did you just
say to me?
1575
01:13:24,130 --> 01:13:26,380
- I'm just messing around. - There it is.
1576
01:13:26,463 --> 01:13:28,421
- And he's clapping. - Going to jail.
Thanks, babe.
1577
01:13:28,505 --> 01:13:31,463
I'm glad we finally are all on the same
page.
1578
01:13:31,755 --> 01:13:35,338
Now, since the first murder occurred in
French territorial waters,
1579
01:13:35,421 --> 01:13:38,838
I will be taking you to Paris to be
arraigned and tried.
1580
01:13:38,921 --> 01:13:41,005
At least we're going to Paris. You always
wanted to go.
1581
01:13:41,088 --> 01:13:43,921
Honey, if you keep making jokes at a time
like this,
1582
01:13:44,005 --> 01:13:45,505
it's not gonna make this go away.
1583
01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:48,838
Lucky for you, since 1977,
1584
01:13:48,921 --> 01:13:51,630
there has been no death penalty under
French law.
1585
01:13:52,005 --> 01:13:53,421
French law.
1586
01:13:53,505 --> 01:13:54,421
French law.
1587
01:13:54,505 --> 01:13:56,005
The French law. Yeah.
1588
01:13:56,088 --> 01:13:58,671
Surely, Inspector, you of all people
1589
01:13:58,755 --> 01:14:01,546
are familiar with the French inheritance
law.
1590
01:14:01,921 --> 01:14:03,880
Are you implying I have bastard children?
1591
01:14:04,505 --> 01:14:05,421
Well, I wasn't.
1592
01:14:05,505 --> 01:14:06,588
Because I do.
1593
01:14:06,671 --> 01:14:08,505
I was surprised you knew about them.
1594
01:14:08,796 --> 01:14:10,421
I love those little bastards.
1595
01:14:10,755 --> 01:14:14,880
Okay. Anyway, um, the French law states
that a man's estate
1596
01:14:14,963 --> 01:14:17,880
must be divided equally amongst his
children.
1597
01:14:18,171 --> 01:14:20,505
So it wouldn't matter what the will said.
1598
01:14:20,588 --> 01:14:22,213
Straight up, Maharajah.
1599
01:14:22,296 --> 01:14:26,380
The kids were gonna get the money, whether
the old man married Suzi or not.
1600
01:14:26,463 --> 01:14:29,421
Mm-hmm. But both of Malcolm's children are
dead.
1601
01:14:29,713 --> 01:14:31,255
- Both? - Yes. Tobey,
1602
01:14:31,338 --> 01:14:34,463
and the son he had with Madeleine
LeBoutillier..
1603
01:14:34,546 --> 01:14:36,463
That boy died at childbirth.
1604
01:14:36,755 --> 01:14:37,671
Did he, Colonel?
1605
01:14:38,171 --> 01:14:40,171
I spoke to my partner in New York City.
1606
01:14:40,255 --> 01:14:43,713
I said, get the death certificates for
Madeleine and the son.
1607
01:14:43,796 --> 01:14:45,630
He could only find one for Madeleine.
1608
01:14:45,713 --> 01:14:48,130
But then I started thinking, maybe there's
no death certificate
1609
01:14:48,213 --> 01:14:49,796
because there was no death.
1610
01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:54,546
Nonsense. Malcolm desperately wanted a boy
to sire the next generation of Quinces.
1611
01:14:54,630 --> 01:14:56,255
He would never abandon a son.
1612
01:14:56,338 --> 01:14:57,296
But...
1613
01:14:58,171 --> 01:14:59,213
what if it was a daughter?
1614
01:14:59,296 --> 01:15:00,463
- Yes! - What if it was a daughter?
1615
01:15:00,546 --> 01:15:01,921
The love of his life dies,
1616
01:15:02,005 --> 01:15:04,588
dies giving birth to his unwanted
daughter.
1617
01:15:04,671 --> 01:15:07,255
- Yes! - It almost makes sense.
1618
01:15:07,338 --> 01:15:09,546
- It does! It kinda does! - It makes total
sense.
1619
01:15:09,630 --> 01:15:11,213
He gave her away.
1620
01:15:11,296 --> 01:15:12,421
Then where is she now?
1621
01:15:12,505 --> 01:15:15,171
Well, she could be anywhere. She could
have got married.
1622
01:15:15,255 --> 01:15:18,046
She could've joined a gang, changed her
name. Who knows? Carry on.
1623
01:15:18,338 --> 01:15:19,880
- Changed her name. - Ah!
1624
01:15:19,963 --> 01:15:22,505
- You changed your name. - Yes.
1625
01:15:22,588 --> 01:15:24,296
Your real last name isn't Ballard.
1626
01:15:24,588 --> 01:15:25,421
So?
1627
01:15:25,796 --> 01:15:27,796
Lots of artists change their names.
1628
01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:29,796
Lady Gaga's real name isn't Lady Gaga.
1629
01:15:29,880 --> 01:15:32,088
Yes, Lady Gaga. "Paparazzi," yes, good.
1630
01:15:32,171 --> 01:15:35,546
But every Grace Ballard superfan knows
1631
01:15:35,630 --> 01:15:37,755
your first movie was Summer
Wetdown.
1632
01:15:37,838 --> 01:15:41,088
You had three lines, and you went by your
birth name,
1633
01:15:41,171 --> 01:15:42,671
Grace Butler.
1634
01:15:43,046 --> 01:15:46,005
Which, en français, roughly
translates to LeBoutillier.
1635
01:15:46,088 --> 01:15:48,588
Madeleine LeBoutillier, your mother.
1636
01:15:48,671 --> 01:15:49,588
This is a joke.
1637
01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:52,005
I wasn't even in the room when Malcolm
Quince was murdered.
1638
01:15:52,088 --> 01:15:55,171
Fine! Then Tobey killed him, but he did it
with a little help.
1639
01:15:55,255 --> 01:15:57,380
The lights. You turned out the
lights.
1640
01:15:58,088 --> 01:16:01,463
You convinced Tobey to kill Malcolm so you could split the money with
1641
01:16:03,588 --> 01:16:06,588
And then you killed Tobey so
that you could just keep all of it.
1642
01:16:06,671 --> 01:16:09,505
Then me and this girl started asking too
many questions.
1643
01:16:09,588 --> 01:16:10,921
So you had to get rid of us.
1644
01:16:14,588 --> 01:16:17,338
Luckily, not for him, but Sergei
gets in the way.
1645
01:16:18,463 --> 01:16:20,213
Then you seduce the Maharajah
1646
01:16:20,296 --> 01:16:23,088
so that you would make us think
you were with him all night.
1647
01:16:23,171 --> 01:16:26,505
Yo, you were just twizzlin' on my wizzle
for an alibi.
1648
01:16:26,588 --> 01:16:27,671
Girl, that's cold.
1649
01:16:27,755 --> 01:16:29,880
You tried to kill us in the library.
1650
01:16:30,463 --> 01:16:33,213
You tried to kill us in the market,
but you got Suzi instead.
1651
01:16:34,755 --> 01:16:36,213
- And the weapon... - Hm!
1652
01:16:36,296 --> 01:16:38,463
- I recognize the weapon now. - The dart?
1653
01:16:38,546 --> 01:16:41,255
It was a movie. I watched it one night.
You were out with your friends.
1654
01:16:41,338 --> 01:16:43,046
You came back drunk and, uh...
1655
01:16:43,130 --> 01:16:44,296
What the hell was it?
1656
01:16:44,880 --> 01:16:46,005
Princess Blow Dart.
1657
01:16:46,088 --> 01:16:47,046
Oh, God.
1658
01:16:47,130 --> 01:16:48,505
That is not the name of a movie.
1659
01:16:48,588 --> 01:16:49,630
It is! It is!
1660
01:16:49,713 --> 01:16:51,380
Yo, look at my screensaver.
1661
01:16:51,671 --> 01:16:53,421
- That's her! - Oh, my gosh!
1662
01:16:53,505 --> 01:16:55,588
So then you killed Charles
1663
01:16:55,671 --> 01:16:59,505
because you knew he would never rest until he found out who Suzi's
1664
01:17:00,088 --> 01:17:02,421
'Cause he loved Suzi, not you!
1665
01:17:02,505 --> 01:17:03,796
The three motives:
1666
01:17:03,880 --> 01:17:05,421
money, love, revenge.
1667
01:17:05,505 --> 01:17:06,755
You were the mastermind
1668
01:17:06,838 --> 01:17:09,046
behind Malcolm Quince's murders, weren't
you?
1669
01:17:09,130 --> 01:17:12,171
- And you were the one who framed us. -
You killed them all, didn't you?
1670
01:17:12,255 --> 01:17:13,296
Didn't you?
1671
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:15,588
My father was a monster.
1672
01:17:17,755 --> 01:17:18,755
So you admit it?
1673
01:17:19,171 --> 01:17:20,046
Yes.
1674
01:17:20,755 --> 01:17:23,755
I am the daughter of Malcolm Quince and
Madeleine LeBoutillier,
1675
01:17:24,380 --> 01:17:27,421
and sole heir to the Quince fortune.
1676
01:17:27,671 --> 01:17:30,130
Uh, and... what about the murders?
1677
01:17:31,505 --> 01:17:33,046
Oh, I didn't do those.
1678
01:17:33,505 --> 01:17:36,338
But it couldn't have happened to a nicer
group of people.
1679
01:17:37,671 --> 01:17:38,505
So...
1680
01:17:39,130 --> 01:17:40,463
what other proof do you have?
1681
01:17:40,546 --> 01:17:42,171
- Of what? - Proof of what?
1682
01:17:42,255 --> 01:17:43,796
That she killed everybody?
1683
01:17:44,255 --> 01:17:45,088
Yes.
1684
01:17:45,171 --> 01:17:46,880
Aren't you gonna do anything at all?
1685
01:17:47,338 --> 01:17:49,421
I mean, is there a French holiday we're
unaware of?
1686
01:17:49,505 --> 01:17:50,755
What the hell do you do?
1687
01:17:50,963 --> 01:17:51,796
Look...
1688
01:17:52,505 --> 01:17:54,796
I don't know how you do things in
Brooklyn,
1689
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,463
but here we need evidence to make an
arrest.
1690
01:17:57,546 --> 01:17:59,255
This is not how this is supposed to
happen.
1691
01:17:59,338 --> 01:18:03,005
The detective is supposed to explain the
murders, which we just did,
1692
01:18:03,088 --> 01:18:07,880
and then the killer is supposed to crack
and freak out under pressure and admit it!
1693
01:18:08,421 --> 01:18:09,588
If there's nothing else,
1694
01:18:09,671 --> 01:18:11,880
I'd like to start spending my money now.
1695
01:18:16,796 --> 01:18:19,171
The hat. The hat! Uh, take off your hat.
1696
01:18:20,630 --> 01:18:21,588
What?
1697
01:18:22,171 --> 01:18:24,005
I said take off your hat.
1698
01:18:25,755 --> 01:18:26,630
No.
1699
01:18:27,046 --> 01:18:29,921
The Maharajah bought me this hat, and I
quite like it.
1700
01:18:30,005 --> 01:18:32,421
Nick hit the killer in the head with a
plate.
1701
01:18:33,171 --> 01:18:35,046
And it left a mark, didn't it?
1702
01:18:35,671 --> 01:18:36,546
Also,
1703
01:18:36,630 --> 01:18:41,213
why on earth would you put a hat on a
freshly styled head of hair?
1704
01:18:41,296 --> 01:18:43,796
How would you know my hair's been freshly
styled?
1705
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:46,255
'Cause she's a goddamn hairdresser.
1706
01:18:47,296 --> 01:18:49,046
Please remove your hat, Ms. Butler.
1707
01:18:49,630 --> 01:18:51,255
I'll do nothing of the kind.
1708
01:18:55,380 --> 01:18:58,296
The butler did it. Grace Butler did it!
Grace But... Right?
1709
01:18:58,380 --> 01:19:00,796
- I said it on the plane. - You had to do
it!
1710
01:19:00,880 --> 01:19:02,130
- Stay back! - Jesus!
1711
01:19:02,505 --> 01:19:03,505
Everybody!
1712
01:19:06,255 --> 01:19:08,130
- Oh, my God! - Son of a bitch.
1713
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:09,963
- Wait! No, no. - Whoa!
1714
01:19:10,046 --> 01:19:11,213
Nobody move!
1715
01:19:11,296 --> 01:19:12,755
Nobody move, or I'll shoot her.
1716
01:19:12,838 --> 01:19:14,421
Guns down. Baissez vos armes.
1717
01:19:22,588 --> 01:19:23,713
Get an ambulance.
1718
01:19:24,213 --> 01:19:26,380
Yo, I thought you said he was a terrible
shot.
1719
01:19:26,463 --> 01:19:28,630
Not when it comes to saving my woman.
1720
01:19:28,713 --> 01:19:31,421
I was aiming for her foot, by the way.
1721
01:19:32,005 --> 01:19:33,630
All right. It's all right.
1722
01:19:37,588 --> 01:19:40,296
Thank you for stepping in and trying to
stop her, Juan Carlos.
1723
01:19:40,380 --> 01:19:41,546
That was so brave.
1724
01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:42,921
De nada, señora.
1725
01:19:45,963 --> 01:19:48,921
I love that. I love that he's brave and
I'm, what, nothing?
1726
01:19:49,005 --> 01:19:51,755
- Are you kidding? I said you were brave.
- You didn't say it.
1727
01:19:51,838 --> 01:19:54,380
I said so many times. "Nick, you were so
brave."
1728
01:19:54,463 --> 01:19:57,005
De nada, señora. Halloween.
1729
01:19:58,005 --> 01:19:59,088
Yo, I got a question.
1730
01:19:59,755 --> 01:20:01,505
In the hotel in Monte Carlo,
1731
01:20:01,588 --> 01:20:03,505
you said that you saw me and Grace
together.
1732
01:20:03,796 --> 01:20:05,130
- We heard you. - We heard you.
1733
01:20:05,213 --> 01:20:07,088
We didn't like what we heard, but I'll
tell...
1734
01:20:07,171 --> 01:20:09,380
- I'm sorry. - I hope those are new pants,
by the way.
1735
01:20:09,463 --> 01:20:11,213
Yeah, but...
1736
01:20:12,046 --> 01:20:13,088
But the truth is,
1737
01:20:13,171 --> 01:20:15,421
Grace and I were together in the bar
1738
01:20:15,505 --> 01:20:17,505
an hour before we got to our room,
1739
01:20:17,588 --> 01:20:20,046
so how could she have killed Sergei
1740
01:20:20,588 --> 01:20:21,713
if she was with me?
1741
01:20:24,338 --> 01:20:25,213
Nick.
1742
01:20:25,296 --> 01:20:26,255
Audrey.
1743
01:20:26,755 --> 01:20:29,213
How did Juan Carlos understand my English
just now?
1744
01:20:47,421 --> 01:20:48,546
Stop!
1745
01:20:55,421 --> 01:20:56,755
No! No!
1746
01:20:57,505 --> 01:20:58,963
Don't come any closer!
1747
01:20:59,046 --> 01:21:00,880
Aah! He speaks English!
1748
01:21:00,963 --> 01:21:02,796
I've spoken English my whole life, you
idiots,
1749
01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:04,463
and a dozen other languages.
1750
01:21:04,755 --> 01:21:06,588
And by the way, your Latin sucks.
1751
01:21:06,671 --> 01:21:08,046
You understood it!
1752
01:21:08,713 --> 01:21:12,005
Don't you even think about it, Colonel, or
I will shoot your dick off.
1753
01:21:13,963 --> 01:21:15,671
Put your hands up in the air, now.
1754
01:21:16,130 --> 01:21:18,838
I am the one who told her to convince
Tobey to kill his dad,
1755
01:21:19,088 --> 01:21:20,880
destroy this sick family
1756
01:21:20,963 --> 01:21:22,171
in the name of my father.
1757
01:21:26,546 --> 01:21:27,463
Get into the car.
1758
01:21:30,463 --> 01:21:31,546
Go in!
1759
01:21:31,838 --> 01:21:33,838
Back off!
1760
01:21:35,505 --> 01:21:36,588
I go fast.
1761
01:21:42,505 --> 01:21:43,380
Hey!
1762
01:21:45,005 --> 01:21:46,588
Look at that! A Ferrari!
1763
01:21:46,671 --> 01:21:47,838
- What? - Testarossa!
1764
01:21:47,921 --> 01:21:49,296
Magnum P.I.! Me, baby!
1765
01:21:49,380 --> 01:21:50,671
I got the mustache!
1766
01:21:52,671 --> 01:21:54,213
Nick, you forgot the gun!
1767
01:21:54,296 --> 01:21:57,463
This is incredible! This is a fantasy for
everybody!
1768
01:21:57,546 --> 01:21:58,546
How does it open?
1769
01:21:58,630 --> 01:22:00,338
Underneath! Pull! Pull! Come on!
1770
01:22:00,755 --> 01:22:01,671
Oh, my God.
1771
01:22:03,130 --> 01:22:04,046
What the...
1772
01:22:04,421 --> 01:22:07,046
- Are you kidding me? - I'm so sorry! I
don't know what to say!
1773
01:22:07,130 --> 01:22:08,088
Go, go, go!
1774
01:22:19,630 --> 01:22:21,880
- Put your hands up. Hands up! - Whoa,
whoa, whoa!
1775
01:22:25,713 --> 01:22:26,796
All I'm saying is,
1776
01:22:26,880 --> 01:22:28,880
when the engine sounds like your sister's
voice...
1777
01:22:29,296 --> 01:22:32,130
irritating, high, and loud... you gotta
switch gears.
1778
01:22:32,213 --> 01:22:33,130
Ah.
1779
01:22:36,755 --> 01:22:38,046
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1780
01:22:42,463 --> 01:22:43,421
Yes!
1781
01:22:43,505 --> 01:22:45,671
Look how nice you handle this thing!
1782
01:22:46,963 --> 01:22:49,213
♪ I'm gonna take you down ♪
1783
01:22:50,296 --> 01:22:52,046
♪ Down, down, down... ♪
1784
01:22:52,421 --> 01:22:53,546
Hey! Hey!
1785
01:22:53,630 --> 01:22:54,588
Hey!
1786
01:22:55,046 --> 01:22:56,630
- Honey, he's right up there. - I see him.
1787
01:22:56,713 --> 01:22:58,963
♪ I'm gonna pull it, pull it ♪
1788
01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:00,338
♪ Pull the trigger ♪
1789
01:23:00,838 --> 01:23:01,838
♪ Shoot to thrill ♪
1790
01:23:02,338 --> 01:23:03,588
♪ Play to kill ♪
1791
01:23:04,255 --> 01:23:06,171
♪ Too many women... ♪
1792
01:23:07,421 --> 01:23:08,505
♪ Shoot to thrill ♪
1793
01:23:09,130 --> 01:23:10,171
♪ Play to kill ♪
1794
01:23:10,255 --> 01:23:14,630
♪ I got my gun at the ready
Gonna fire at will, yeah ♪
1795
01:23:16,755 --> 01:23:18,046
♪ I'm like evil ♪
1796
01:23:18,463 --> 01:23:20,005
♪ I get under your skin... ♪
1797
01:23:20,088 --> 01:23:21,296
Whoa!
1798
01:23:27,213 --> 01:23:28,380
Again!
1799
01:23:30,463 --> 01:23:32,921
Yeah! Baby, nice. Nice! Nice turn!
1800
01:23:33,005 --> 01:23:34,755
Look at you! Look at you!
1801
01:23:35,880 --> 01:23:39,088
Keep going. Keep after him. Keep after
him. Keep going.
1802
01:23:39,171 --> 01:23:40,505
Goat! Goat! Goat!
1803
01:23:41,463 --> 01:23:42,755
Holy cow!
1804
01:23:42,838 --> 01:23:45,088
Do you have any idea how gorgeous you
look?
1805
01:23:45,171 --> 01:23:47,505
Wait! Second goat! What the hell?
1806
01:23:47,588 --> 01:23:49,796
- Do you not like goats or something? - I
love them!
1807
01:23:57,088 --> 01:23:57,921
Idiots.
1808
01:24:04,921 --> 01:24:06,171
Oh, shit.
1809
01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:12,046
♪ Shoot to thrill ♪
1810
01:24:13,088 --> 01:24:13,963
♪ Play to kill ♪
1811
01:24:14,588 --> 01:24:17,338
♪ Too many women with too many pills...
♪
1812
01:24:17,421 --> 01:24:19,213
Keep going, baby. Go! Go! Go!
1813
01:24:19,296 --> 01:24:20,588
Go! Go! Go!
1814
01:24:24,838 --> 01:24:27,130
- Holy shit! - Oh, God!
1815
01:24:29,421 --> 01:24:31,505
- We gotta pit him, honey. - I gotta what
him?
1816
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:34,088
What you do is you hit the back bumper and
he'll just spin out.
1817
01:24:34,171 --> 01:24:35,755
- I can't do that. I can't... - You got
this.
1818
01:24:35,838 --> 01:24:37,463
I can't. He's a Formula 1 race car driver!
1819
01:24:39,630 --> 01:24:40,713
Faster! Come on!
1820
01:24:40,796 --> 01:24:43,005
This is our adventure.
1821
01:24:43,713 --> 01:24:44,713
Go for it.
1822
01:24:45,255 --> 01:24:47,588
I can do this. I love you. That was sweet.
1823
01:24:48,088 --> 01:24:49,130
Okay, here we go.
1824
01:24:50,713 --> 01:24:52,213
♪ Shoot you ♪
1825
01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:53,671
♪ Shoot you ♪
1826
01:24:54,421 --> 01:24:55,463
No!
1827
01:24:56,463 --> 01:24:58,713
He didn't spin. He didn't spin. We just
gotta take him out.
1828
01:24:58,796 --> 01:24:59,963
- Take him out! - Here we go.
1829
01:25:00,046 --> 01:25:01,255
Floor it! Floor it!
1830
01:25:03,421 --> 01:25:04,630
Oh!
1831
01:25:04,713 --> 01:25:05,755
What?
1832
01:25:09,546 --> 01:25:11,380
Hit the brakes! Hit the brakes! Hit the
brakes!
1833
01:25:21,963 --> 01:25:24,838
Do you have any idea how cool you are?
1834
01:25:24,921 --> 01:25:27,005
- Happy anniversary, baby! - Yeah.
1835
01:25:27,088 --> 01:25:27,963
Oh!
1836
01:25:31,671 --> 01:25:32,838
Oh, my God.
1837
01:25:32,921 --> 01:25:34,380
- Okay. - Okay.
1838
01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,630
- I'm gonna go get that guy out of the
car. - Go get him.
1839
01:25:36,713 --> 01:25:37,588
I love you.
1840
01:25:37,671 --> 01:25:38,838
- I love you. - Oh, my God.
1841
01:25:43,338 --> 01:25:44,838
Let's go. Let's go.
1842
01:25:44,921 --> 01:25:46,755
I got you. Come on.
1843
01:25:47,088 --> 01:25:49,046
All right.
1844
01:25:53,546 --> 01:25:55,130
I'm so sick of you, cop!
1845
01:25:55,213 --> 01:25:56,838
You should have never come here!
1846
01:25:56,921 --> 01:25:59,796
You should have just stayed home, eating
hot dogs,
1847
01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:02,880
reading People magazine, and
watching reality TV.
1848
01:26:08,046 --> 01:26:08,880
Baby.
1849
01:26:09,255 --> 01:26:11,796
You know, that was our... That was our
tour bus!
1850
01:26:11,880 --> 01:26:14,213
No toilets, no Wi-Fi, and you're running
over people?
1851
01:26:14,296 --> 01:26:17,921
- Brittany's hogging the window seat! - I
want to see the dead guy!
1852
01:26:18,005 --> 01:26:21,338
Just sit down and shut up! I'm gonna take
a picture!
1853
01:26:21,630 --> 01:26:23,630
- All right. I love you. - Oh, my God,
this guy...
1854
01:26:23,713 --> 01:26:25,630
- We gotta ask 'em how they age ham. - I
don't care!
1855
01:26:25,713 --> 01:26:26,546
Come on!
1856
01:26:26,630 --> 01:26:29,088
♪ Do you love me too... ♪
1857
01:26:29,171 --> 01:26:33,005
On behalf of Interpol, I thank you, Mrs.
Spitz.
1858
01:26:33,088 --> 01:26:34,963
You are as brilliant as you are beautiful.
1859
01:26:35,046 --> 01:26:37,796
Oh, my gosh. Well, thank you for that.
1860
01:26:37,880 --> 01:26:40,421
- And Officer Spitz. - I go, what? What?
1861
01:26:40,505 --> 01:26:42,630
It seems you are quite the detective after
all.
1862
01:26:42,713 --> 01:26:44,380
- You are! - With this girl, yes.
1863
01:26:44,463 --> 01:26:47,546
Something I will be passing along to your
superiors in New York.
1864
01:26:47,630 --> 01:26:48,838
That would be big.
1865
01:26:48,921 --> 01:26:51,546
I have to tell you, I think this entire
experience was pretty great.
1866
01:26:51,630 --> 01:26:52,838
- Incredible. - Yeah.
1867
01:26:52,921 --> 01:26:55,255
Outside of the murders, it was on the
money.
1868
01:26:55,338 --> 01:26:59,088
Well, I hope the rest of your trip, which
we have arranged for you,
1869
01:26:59,171 --> 01:27:00,296
is more relaxing.
1870
01:27:00,380 --> 01:27:01,796
- Bon voyage. - Well, thank you.
1871
01:27:01,880 --> 01:27:04,255
You owe that to us, but thank you so much.
1872
01:27:04,338 --> 01:27:06,171
You ever come to New York, you look us up.
1873
01:27:06,255 --> 01:27:10,046
We'll pin, uh, a triple homicide on you or
a kidnapping or something.
1874
01:27:11,255 --> 01:27:13,005
- Thank you. Okay. - Thank you so much.
1875
01:27:13,088 --> 01:27:14,755
Good to meet you. All right. Be safe.
1876
01:27:15,171 --> 01:27:16,963
- Good anniversary, right? - Amazing
anniversary.
1877
01:27:17,046 --> 01:27:19,130
- Kind of... Kind of a cool one. - Loved
it!
1878
01:27:19,213 --> 01:27:21,005
What did you get me, by the way, for a
present?
1879
01:27:21,088 --> 01:27:22,255
What? Oh, uh...
1880
01:27:22,338 --> 01:27:24,088
I got you the Amazon gift card.
1881
01:27:24,171 --> 01:27:26,255
- You did? - No, I didn't get you
anything.
1882
01:27:26,338 --> 01:27:27,755
- ♪ You will see ♪
1883
01:27:28,130 --> 01:27:29,213
♪ Finally ♪
1884
01:27:29,296 --> 01:27:33,838
♪ You and me shall always be as one
♪
1885
01:27:34,880 --> 01:27:38,505
♪ See what happiness has done ♪
1886
01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:43,755
♪ We must be in love ♪
1887
01:27:44,380 --> 01:27:46,296
♪ We must be in love ♪
1888
01:28:00,213 --> 01:28:01,255
♪ I sigh ♪
1889
01:28:01,338 --> 01:28:02,588
♪ I don't know why ♪
1890
01:28:02,671 --> 01:28:03,838
♪ I sigh ♪
1891
01:28:03,921 --> 01:28:07,005
♪ Is it that I'm lonely for you? ♪
1892
01:28:09,463 --> 01:28:13,296
♪ Are you lonely for me too? ♪
1893
01:28:13,796 --> 01:28:18,046
♪ We must be in love ♪
1894
01:28:18,880 --> 01:28:19,796
♪ Let me tell you now ♪
1895
01:28:19,880 --> 01:28:22,213
♪ I miss your tender kiss ♪
1896
01:28:22,296 --> 01:28:24,505
♪ Your tender kiss is what I miss ♪
1897
01:28:24,588 --> 01:28:28,380
♪ I have a strange desire ♪
1898
01:28:29,130 --> 01:28:31,171
♪ For your lips of fire ♪
1899
01:28:33,421 --> 01:28:37,921
♪ We must be in love ♪
1900
01:28:39,546 --> 01:28:41,963
♪ Do you love me too... ♪