1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,564 Previously on "Impastor"... 2 00:00:01,618 --> 00:00:03,735 - Don't! - What are you doing, man? 3 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,476 - [screams] - [water splashes] 4 00:00:05,501 --> 00:00:07,940 My plan was to take over Jonathan Barlow's life 5 00:00:07,965 --> 00:00:09,341 till I figured out my next move. 6 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,077 We are very proud to have a gay pastor. 7 00:00:12,582 --> 00:00:14,296 What are you doing? He plays for my team. 8 00:00:14,321 --> 00:00:15,881 I am not so sure about that. 9 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,585 What do we really know about this guy? 10 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,654 Baby, one more time! 11 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,222 [gunshot] 12 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,390 Ho ho ho. 13 00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,125 You're very charming. 14 00:00:27,559 --> 00:00:29,266 You're leaving your wife for a hooker? 15 00:00:29,291 --> 00:00:31,275 Oh! She is no such thing! 16 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:33,398 - You told him to do this? - No! 17 00:00:33,673 --> 00:00:35,809 Thou shalt not kill. 18 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,272 [tires squealing] 19 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:44,378 You're under arrest for the murder of Jonathan Barlow. 20 00:00:48,017 --> 00:00:49,594 You're making a big mistake here. 21 00:00:49,619 --> 00:00:51,619 Yeah, never heard that before. 22 00:00:51,799 --> 00:00:54,066 It was over. I was going to jail. 23 00:00:54,432 --> 00:00:56,991 But at least it was better than getting killed by Damien. 24 00:00:56,993 --> 00:00:57,830 [tires screeching] 25 00:00:57,855 --> 00:00:58,946 Get down! 26 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:01,304 [gunshots] 27 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,195 [engine revs, tires squealing] 28 00:01:03,233 --> 00:01:04,666 Let's go! Let's go! 29 00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:07,002 Wait. You're going after him? 30 00:01:07,004 --> 00:01:08,637 ♪ Steady ride, steady go ♪ 31 00:01:08,639 --> 00:01:11,206 ♪ Steady, she's been such a long time gone ♪ 32 00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,941 ♪ Steady ride, steady go ♪ 33 00:01:12,943 --> 00:01:14,943 ♪ Steady, she's been such a long time gone ♪ 34 00:01:14,945 --> 00:01:16,278 ♪ Whoo! ♪ 35 00:01:16,532 --> 00:01:18,413 Guys, you really think this is a good ide... 36 00:01:18,415 --> 00:01:20,148 [tires screeching] 37 00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:21,983 ♪ Put on that red light ♪ 38 00:01:21,985 --> 00:01:24,319 ♪ I can tell that you're hard to break ♪ 39 00:01:24,321 --> 00:01:26,383 ♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 40 00:01:26,408 --> 00:01:28,423 ♪ It could be the second coming now ♪ 41 00:01:28,425 --> 00:01:29,424 ♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪ 42 00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:30,926 Stick with him, man. 43 00:01:30,928 --> 00:01:33,195 ♪ Where you gonna run to now? ♪ 44 00:01:33,197 --> 00:01:34,796 [tires screech] 45 00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:36,631 You know I don't have a seat belt, right? 46 00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:38,900 ♪ Whoo! Put on that red light ♪ 47 00:01:38,925 --> 00:01:41,622 ♪ Fleet Foot Rosie's on the run gain ♪ 48 00:01:41,647 --> 00:01:43,589 ♪ Put on that red light ♪ 49 00:01:43,614 --> 00:01:45,642 ♪ I can tell that you're to break ♪ 50 00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:49,478 ♪Where you gonna run to now? ♪ 51 00:01:49,996 --> 00:01:51,892 Damn! Where'd he go? 52 00:01:52,387 --> 00:01:54,249 Looks like he lost you. 53 00:01:54,383 --> 00:01:55,684 [gunshot] 54 00:01:55,686 --> 00:01:57,819 ♪♪ 55 00:01:58,117 --> 00:02:00,331 [tires squealing] 56 00:02:02,448 --> 00:02:03,914 It's against regulation to give chase 57 00:02:03,939 --> 00:02:05,160 with a civilian in the car. 58 00:02:05,185 --> 00:02:06,917 You're right. Good thinking. 59 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,819 Who the hell is that guy? 60 00:02:09,045 --> 00:02:11,322 - Damien Westbrook. - You serious? 61 00:02:11,805 --> 00:02:14,507 - W-who's Damien Westbrook? - Really, Tim? 62 00:02:14,532 --> 00:02:16,660 He's one of the five most wanted men in Portland. 63 00:02:16,662 --> 00:02:18,062 We had a whole briefing about him. 64 00:02:18,258 --> 00:02:19,634 Optional briefing. 65 00:02:20,776 --> 00:02:22,666 What's your connection with a big guy like that? 66 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,069 - I can't tell you. - Why? 67 00:02:25,071 --> 00:02:27,972 'Cause I haven't come up with a good lie yet. 68 00:02:27,974 --> 00:02:31,275 And then, like a gift from heaven, there it was. 69 00:02:32,038 --> 00:02:33,777 Okay, fine. 70 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,756 You might as well know. 71 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:37,781 I'm undercover FBI. 72 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,683 I've been working the Westbrook case for three years. 73 00:02:39,890 --> 00:02:41,057 That's bullshit! 74 00:02:41,082 --> 00:02:42,215 You're Buddy Dobbs, 75 00:02:42,255 --> 00:02:43,687 and you killed Jonathan Barlow. 76 00:02:43,689 --> 00:02:46,058 Barlow jumped off a bridge. 77 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,394 After I faked Dobbs' death, I needed a new identity fast, 78 00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:49,600 so the Bureau gave me his. 79 00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:51,037 Yeah, right. If you're FBI, 80 00:02:51,062 --> 00:02:52,762 let's see some ID. 81 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,379 Yeah, sure, because all undercover agents carry ID. 82 00:02:56,404 --> 00:02:59,436 It's a big FBI badge we wear over our FBI T-shirts. 83 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,769 Did you two bozos even graduate the academy? 84 00:03:01,794 --> 00:03:04,092 - Of course we did. - Why? What did you hear? 85 00:03:04,694 --> 00:03:07,294 We're not buying any of this until we can confirm it. 86 00:03:07,516 --> 00:03:09,719 - I'm calling my buddy at the FBI. - Good idea. 87 00:03:11,772 --> 00:03:13,150 I'm getting really worried about Buddy. 88 00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:14,963 I mean, why would he just run out like that? 89 00:03:14,988 --> 00:03:15,963 Where did he go? 90 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,365 I've never seen anything like it. 91 00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:19,967 Even when Pastor Willis' gallbladder burst 92 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,725 - he finished the service. - Oh, my gosh. 93 00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:23,148 Do you think we should call Ladner General? 94 00:03:23,173 --> 00:03:26,340 Okay, let's not overreact. I'm sure he's fine. 95 00:03:26,730 --> 00:03:28,729 Then why isn't he answering his phone? 96 00:03:28,754 --> 00:03:31,955 [cell phone vibrating] Damn it. 97 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,371 [sighs] 98 00:03:34,373 --> 00:03:36,310 My friend says he can't confirm or deny 99 00:03:36,335 --> 00:03:37,741 any undercover operations. 100 00:03:38,032 --> 00:03:39,076 I don't have clearance. 101 00:03:39,078 --> 00:03:41,212 Yeah, I could've told you that. 102 00:03:41,214 --> 00:03:43,247 - Now unhook me. - That doesn't prove you're FBI. 103 00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:45,686 Let's go down to Portland and sort this out. 104 00:03:45,871 --> 00:03:47,051 Wait, wait, wait. 105 00:03:47,178 --> 00:03:49,345 - I got a better idea. - Yeah? 106 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,699 You guys came up for a bust, right? 107 00:03:51,916 --> 00:03:54,150 What if I let you take down Damien? 108 00:03:54,213 --> 00:03:56,446 Why would you do that? 109 00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:59,296 So I can stay undercover and go after his boss. 110 00:03:59,704 --> 00:04:01,640 24 hours... that's all we'll need. 111 00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:04,498 You could be heroes. 112 00:04:09,805 --> 00:04:12,472 Pros... we get a guy like Westbrook, 113 00:04:12,474 --> 00:04:15,227 we finally get some respect, maybe even a promotion. 114 00:04:15,252 --> 00:04:17,990 Cons... if Dobbs is lying and he runs, 115 00:04:18,015 --> 00:04:19,866 we just let a murderer get away. 116 00:04:19,891 --> 00:04:22,525 - We can't let that happen. - No. 117 00:04:22,645 --> 00:04:23,959 Not again. 118 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:26,570 [sighs] 119 00:04:27,777 --> 00:04:30,778 All right, you got 24 hours. 120 00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:33,193 Wise decision, my law enforcement brothers. 121 00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:35,439 Hey! What the hell? You LoJacking me? 122 00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:36,763 Call it insurance. 123 00:04:36,788 --> 00:04:38,888 If you're FBI, we get a major bust. 124 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,452 If you're lying, we still have you. 125 00:04:41,477 --> 00:04:44,077 Any problem with that, Club Fed? 126 00:04:44,856 --> 00:04:48,210 No. No problem at all. 127 00:04:56,638 --> 00:04:57,989 - Hey, everybody. - Buddy! 128 00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:00,273 - There you are! - Oh, thank God you're alive. 129 00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:01,646 [grunts] 130 00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:04,177 Are you hurt anywhere? 131 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,404 - Oh, my. - What happened? 132 00:05:06,429 --> 00:05:07,724 You said you were going to the bathroom, 133 00:05:07,749 --> 00:05:09,053 and then you never came back. 134 00:05:09,078 --> 00:05:11,979 If you're on the junk, we have a right to know. 135 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:15,688 Look, I'm sorry for leaving, but on my way to the bathroom, 136 00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:17,991 I got a Pastor 911 call. 137 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:20,737 Somebody was threatening to, uh... 138 00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:23,363 - end it all. - Oh, my gosh! 139 00:05:23,678 --> 00:05:25,325 - Who? - That's confidential. 140 00:05:25,522 --> 00:05:27,626 Luckily I was able to talk this troubled soul out of it. 141 00:05:27,651 --> 00:05:28,968 Couldn't do this on the phone? 142 00:05:29,150 --> 00:05:33,073 Alden, he saved a man's life. 143 00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:35,308 Or woman? 144 00:05:35,383 --> 00:05:37,334 Let this be a reminder... 145 00:05:37,359 --> 00:05:39,359 to cherish life... 146 00:05:39,384 --> 00:05:41,084 every day. 147 00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,699 Now if you'll excuse me, I've been holding it in 148 00:05:42,724 --> 00:05:44,528 - since the sermon. - Ooh. Ow. [chuckles] 149 00:05:45,077 --> 00:05:46,252 I had two choices... 150 00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:49,322 go to prison or face a man who wanted to kill me. 151 00:05:50,176 --> 00:05:54,060 So I took number three... hack off this bracelet and run. 152 00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,865 Hello, Pastor. 153 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:57,441 Jesus. 154 00:05:57,837 --> 00:05:59,171 You scared me. 155 00:05:59,196 --> 00:06:00,921 You should be scared. 156 00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:03,761 I don't take well to people ruining my marriage. 157 00:06:03,786 --> 00:06:04,663 Yeah, I noticed. 158 00:06:04,688 --> 00:06:06,813 You got quite a left hook there, Rocky. 159 00:06:06,838 --> 00:06:08,683 Your reference escapes me. 160 00:06:08,941 --> 00:06:10,392 Never seen the movie "Rocky"? 161 00:06:10,417 --> 00:06:13,158 - I don't enjoy entertainment. - Huh. 162 00:06:13,183 --> 00:06:15,921 What I do enjoy is my prominent standing 163 00:06:15,946 --> 00:06:18,374 in this community, and I am not about to lose it 164 00:06:18,399 --> 00:06:19,753 because you filled Alden's head 165 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:23,168 with some gibberish about following his heart. 166 00:06:23,193 --> 00:06:25,859 Look, Hilva, it's not my fault. 167 00:06:26,121 --> 00:06:28,054 When I say stuff to Alden, the last thing I expect 168 00:06:28,079 --> 00:06:30,233 - is for him to listen. - Well... 169 00:06:30,258 --> 00:06:32,966 apparently you have his ear. 170 00:06:33,071 --> 00:06:35,720 So you need to convince him not to throw away 171 00:06:35,761 --> 00:06:38,171 40 years of marriage for some trollop! 172 00:06:38,503 --> 00:06:40,611 - Trollop? - Whore. 173 00:06:40,636 --> 00:06:42,208 [gasps] Ooh. 174 00:06:42,779 --> 00:06:45,111 And for your own good, you will do it soon. 175 00:06:45,523 --> 00:06:47,722 Trust me, you don't know what it's like 176 00:06:47,747 --> 00:06:49,449 to be on my bad side. 177 00:06:50,171 --> 00:06:51,685 I bet it's a lot like this. 178 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,561 Except you're living in your car. 179 00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:56,367 Did you know I hold the deed on this house? 180 00:06:56,392 --> 00:06:58,070 You wouldn't kick me out, would you? 181 00:06:58,366 --> 00:06:59,692 Oh, really? 182 00:06:59,866 --> 00:07:00,927 Don't make me laugh. 183 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:03,424 Is that even possible? 184 00:07:04,226 --> 00:07:05,861 [groans wackily] 185 00:07:07,984 --> 00:07:09,492 [rolling tongue] 186 00:07:10,534 --> 00:07:11,735 You're tough. 187 00:07:13,758 --> 00:07:14,692 I think there might be 188 00:07:14,717 --> 00:07:16,220 more going on with Buddy than he's letting on. 189 00:07:16,245 --> 00:07:17,911 I mean, he was acting weird at the service 190 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,379 before he got that call. 191 00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:20,783 No, no, no, don't worry. 192 00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:23,078 If something were going on with Buddy, I would know about it. 193 00:07:23,103 --> 00:07:24,678 Thanks. He can't hide anything from me. 194 00:07:24,956 --> 00:07:25,862 I... [sighs] 195 00:07:25,887 --> 00:07:28,390 So how was your date last night with Dave the handyman? 196 00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,090 Does he know how to use his hammer? 197 00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:32,926 [snickers] Sex pun. I love it. 198 00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:37,099 Did he... did he loosen your lug nuts with pliers? 199 00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:38,767 I don't know what that means. 200 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,752 Me neither. I'm not good at this. 201 00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:42,605 What about you? What's up with you and that accountant? 202 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,103 Have you made your move yet? 203 00:07:44,439 --> 00:07:46,805 No, I don't make moves, Russell. 204 00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:48,994 Look, I have always believed that if I am meant to be 205 00:07:49,019 --> 00:07:51,042 with someone, God will make it happen. 206 00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,593 God is not your pimp, Dora. 207 00:07:52,618 --> 00:07:54,278 You need to let a guy know you're interested. 208 00:07:54,303 --> 00:07:55,882 Use some body language. 209 00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:58,318 Yeah, like make eye contact, 210 00:07:58,456 --> 00:07:59,794 lick your lips, 211 00:07:59,819 --> 00:08:01,793 or maybe, like, gently touch his arm. 212 00:08:01,818 --> 00:08:03,616 When you walk away, always glance back. 213 00:08:03,641 --> 00:08:05,124 Guys love that. 214 00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:07,978 Okay, maybe I'll... try it. 215 00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:10,242 I might snag myself a nice dentist 216 00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:13,065 who could floss my gums. [chuckles] 217 00:08:13,729 --> 00:08:16,770 - That's a sex pun. - Uhuh. 218 00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:19,773 [mischievous music] 219 00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:21,318 ♪ 220 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,676 - [electricity zaps] - Aah! God damn it! 221 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:24,966 God, sh... 222 00:08:24,991 --> 00:08:25,879 God! 223 00:08:26,153 --> 00:08:27,674 Oh, looky here. 224 00:08:28,212 --> 00:08:30,383 Our guy's trying to take off his bracelet. 225 00:08:30,799 --> 00:08:32,701 I knew his FBI story was bullshit. 226 00:08:35,957 --> 00:08:37,787 Good afternoon. I'm Detective Hyde. 227 00:08:37,812 --> 00:08:40,634 - This is Detective Lovello. - Well, hello. 228 00:08:40,695 --> 00:08:43,896 [romantic music] 229 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,612 ♪♪ 230 00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:48,628 - I'm Dora. - We're here to see the pastor. 231 00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:50,917 Oh, is this about the break-in? 232 00:08:50,942 --> 00:08:53,610 'Cause if so, I'd be happy to answer any questions that... 233 00:08:53,978 --> 00:08:55,654 you might have. 234 00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:00,546 Uh, the pastor, please? 235 00:09:00,548 --> 00:09:02,326 Sure. No. He's in his study. 236 00:09:02,351 --> 00:09:05,757 Right down the hall. Here, um, follow me. 237 00:09:07,324 --> 00:09:09,157 You know, the... Oh, yeah. 238 00:09:09,323 --> 00:09:11,425 You got it. [clears throat] 239 00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:16,950 Busted! And don't give us any excuses. 240 00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:18,605 You're trying to take that bracelet off. 241 00:09:18,870 --> 00:09:20,641 [tool clangs] You're right. 242 00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:23,415 - You got me. - He said no excuses! 243 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,740 Look, I'm just trying to stay alive here. 244 00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,782 - [scoffs] - You saw that lunatic. 245 00:09:28,784 --> 00:09:31,061 If Damien finds this thing on me, I'm a dead man. 246 00:09:31,098 --> 00:09:32,311 All right? 247 00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:34,202 Now, how about it? 248 00:09:34,558 --> 00:09:35,989 You're an undercover guy. 249 00:09:36,234 --> 00:09:37,538 Just keep it undercover. 250 00:09:37,603 --> 00:09:38,775 And don't wear shorts. 251 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,534 [dramatic music] 252 00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:45,558 Now I had no choice. I had to go after Damien. 253 00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:48,435 But I could only think of one way to reach him. 254 00:09:48,694 --> 00:09:50,233 Afternoon. 255 00:09:50,288 --> 00:09:51,526 I'm Pastor Buddy Barlow, 256 00:09:51,551 --> 00:09:53,763 and, uh, I'd like to ask a favor. 257 00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:55,625 Clergy pay tickets like everyone else. 258 00:09:55,650 --> 00:09:57,449 Oh, it's not that, Officer. 259 00:09:57,713 --> 00:09:59,546 - Sheriff. - I'm sorry. 260 00:09:59,909 --> 00:10:01,896 Do you remember those two men who were killed 261 00:10:01,921 --> 00:10:03,621 by the tree a while ago? 262 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:04,717 Well, I was asked 263 00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:07,326 by Jamaal King's poor, sick grandmother 264 00:10:07,351 --> 00:10:10,052 to retrieve her baby's belongings... 265 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,993 you know, cell phone, et cetera. 266 00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:15,663 We only release personal items to family members. 267 00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:17,615 I understand that, but, uh... 268 00:10:19,069 --> 00:10:21,435 I'm going to Portland, and... 269 00:10:21,437 --> 00:10:24,029 I would love to make an old homeless woman 270 00:10:24,054 --> 00:10:26,884 with a heart condition happy. 271 00:10:26,966 --> 00:10:30,344 Then buy her a bus ticket to come here and get them. 272 00:10:30,572 --> 00:10:32,307 May God bless your soul. 273 00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,217 [mischievous music] 274 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:42,946 ♪ 275 00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,659 All I needed was to get Sheriff Cranky Pants 276 00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:51,098 out of there for a minute. 277 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:55,140 ♪♪ 278 00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:03,371 [gunshot] 279 00:11:06,403 --> 00:11:08,851 Raise your tail at me, bitch. 280 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:14,222 ♪ 281 00:11:22,369 --> 00:11:23,568 [thuds] 282 00:11:23,899 --> 00:11:28,569 ♪♪ 283 00:11:28,571 --> 00:11:30,354 - _ - [indistinct chatter] 284 00:11:34,719 --> 00:11:35,878 _ 285 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,096 Ooh, jawbreaker. 286 00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:56,907 [suspenseful music] 287 00:11:56,932 --> 00:11:59,873 ♪ 288 00:12:14,094 --> 00:12:15,962 [clatter] 289 00:12:18,615 --> 00:12:21,983 ♪♪ 290 00:12:22,447 --> 00:12:24,284 Oh, Pastor. 291 00:12:25,261 --> 00:12:26,388 Oh, hey, there, Alden. 292 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,973 I just noticed your Japanese car 293 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,731 parked near the police station. 294 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,966 Are you filing an assault complaint against me? 295 00:12:33,617 --> 00:12:35,636 - I drive a Chevy. - Perhaps. 296 00:12:36,070 --> 00:12:38,119 The point is, I want to nip this in the bud 297 00:12:38,144 --> 00:12:42,676 and, well, apologize for striking you before. 298 00:12:43,177 --> 00:12:44,878 Well, you do realize when you hit me, 299 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,513 it's like hitting the Lord himself. 300 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,958 [groans] There is no excuse. 301 00:12:48,983 --> 00:12:51,814 We Lutherans are trained to keep our emotions inside. 302 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:54,240 I'm not an Episcopalian, for God sakes. 303 00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:55,175 - Forget it, Alden. - Okay. 304 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,033 - But while I have you... - Oh. 305 00:12:57,326 --> 00:12:59,808 As your pastor, I would advise you 306 00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:01,872 to think long and hard before throwing away 307 00:13:01,897 --> 00:13:04,020 40 years of marriage for another woman, 308 00:13:04,045 --> 00:13:06,412 especially a hooker. 309 00:13:06,477 --> 00:13:08,913 Stop calling her that! 310 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,181 Apology accepted! 311 00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:15,006 [cell phone rings] 312 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:18,102 Who's calling me from a dead man's phone? 313 00:13:18,127 --> 00:13:20,958 - Hey, it's me, Buddy. - Well, that's fitting. 314 00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:23,157 Look, I want to make things right between us. 315 00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:25,520 - I got your 32 grand. - No, no, no. 316 00:13:25,545 --> 00:13:27,412 It's 40 grand now. 317 00:13:27,584 --> 00:13:29,085 Punk-ass-bitch tax. 318 00:13:30,281 --> 00:13:31,403 Okay, but once I pay you, 319 00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:33,428 you'll leave me alone forever, right? 320 00:13:34,525 --> 00:13:35,826 Right? 321 00:13:38,289 --> 00:13:40,159 Okay, once I give Damien this bag, 322 00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:41,319 which he'll think is full of cash, 323 00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:42,698 you come in and make the bust. 324 00:13:42,723 --> 00:13:44,623 - Copy that. - [device beeps] 325 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,677 I just activated the audio on the tether. 326 00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,609 We'll be able to hear everything you and Damien say. 327 00:13:48,634 --> 00:13:50,453 We should have a code word in case things go south. 328 00:13:50,478 --> 00:13:52,064 "Mozzarella sticks"? 329 00:13:52,869 --> 00:13:54,619 - "Mozzarella sticks"? - What? 330 00:13:55,392 --> 00:13:56,962 I'm ordering room service. 331 00:13:58,123 --> 00:14:00,220 All right, look, if I'm in trouble, 332 00:14:00,222 --> 00:14:03,605 - I'll say the word "table." - "Table." Got it. 333 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,376 All right, now we just wait till Damien calls me 334 00:14:05,401 --> 00:14:07,058 with the when and where, but be ready. 335 00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:08,482 Go-time could be any time. 336 00:14:08,721 --> 00:14:11,265 Even at night? 'Cause we get off at 6:00. 337 00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:13,621 It was then I realized my biggest worry 338 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,180 wasn't these idiots arresting me. 339 00:14:16,341 --> 00:14:17,938 It was them getting me killed. 340 00:14:19,356 --> 00:14:20,835 I decided I'd better have a backup 341 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,832 if things went bad with Damien. 342 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:24,392 [knock at door] 343 00:14:26,841 --> 00:14:28,422 - Hey. - Hey. 344 00:14:28,622 --> 00:14:30,424 What brings you over? 345 00:14:30,653 --> 00:14:32,793 I was in my shop yesterday, 346 00:14:32,859 --> 00:14:35,282 and I saw the strangest sight. 347 00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:37,539 A middle-aged man slapping a pastor. 348 00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:39,934 That is strange. Anyone I know? 349 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,678 - What's going on, Buddy? - [chuckles] I can't say. 350 00:14:43,703 --> 00:14:45,634 You know, attorney-pastor privilege and all. 351 00:14:45,659 --> 00:14:47,362 Oh, well, then can you tell me 352 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,643 why you strapped a knife to your leg? 353 00:14:49,952 --> 00:14:51,545 I saw you through the window. 354 00:14:51,771 --> 00:14:53,725 [inhales deeply] Yes. 355 00:14:54,052 --> 00:14:55,568 I'm going to Ceravino's Steakhouse. 356 00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:57,251 You know how tough their rib eyes can be. 357 00:14:57,253 --> 00:14:58,719 - Buddy... - FYI... 358 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,555 I have a bottle of A1 strapped to my other leg. 359 00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:04,279 Okay, you don't want to tell me, don't, 360 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,727 but if you need help... 361 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,433 hey, I'm here for you. 362 00:15:12,401 --> 00:15:14,468 [serious music] 363 00:15:14,727 --> 00:15:17,249 Hey, handsome. I'm glad you called. 364 00:15:17,274 --> 00:15:19,140 I'm starving for an apple wedge. 365 00:15:19,142 --> 00:15:20,788 ♪♪ 366 00:15:20,813 --> 00:15:22,231 What's wrong? 367 00:15:23,449 --> 00:15:25,623 Well, frankly, I'm embarrassed to say. 368 00:15:25,827 --> 00:15:28,094 I have heard this ridiculous rumor 369 00:15:28,119 --> 00:15:30,795 that you are a-a-a... 370 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:31,719 Forgive me... 371 00:15:31,721 --> 00:15:34,023 A-a lady of the night. 372 00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:37,359 It's true. 373 00:15:38,866 --> 00:15:39,827 Oh. 374 00:15:40,492 --> 00:15:43,539 If you expect an apology or for me to be ashamed, 375 00:15:43,564 --> 00:15:44,893 you've got the wrong girl. 376 00:15:44,918 --> 00:15:46,283 No, it's not that. 377 00:15:46,308 --> 00:15:47,262 I-I tell you... 378 00:15:47,287 --> 00:15:50,188 I wish that you could see yourself the way I see you... 379 00:15:50,515 --> 00:15:54,241 full of beauty and kindness 380 00:15:54,243 --> 00:15:56,043 and endless potential. 381 00:15:56,258 --> 00:15:57,375 Really? 382 00:15:58,142 --> 00:16:00,681 - You see me that way? - I do. 383 00:16:01,235 --> 00:16:03,394 But then... 384 00:16:03,815 --> 00:16:05,350 I'm just a foolish old man. 385 00:16:05,689 --> 00:16:08,421 - Not to me you're not. - Oh, well, yes, I am... 386 00:16:09,638 --> 00:16:12,879 for believing that you could ever be interested 387 00:16:12,904 --> 00:16:16,258 in me as anything other than a client. 388 00:16:17,016 --> 00:16:19,033 - Alden... - Oh, now, please, don't. 389 00:16:21,711 --> 00:16:26,976 ♪♪ 390 00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:38,419 Well, the steaks are tough at Ceravino's. 391 00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:40,214 I filled out a comment card about it. 392 00:16:40,239 --> 00:16:42,007 But how do you explain this? 393 00:16:42,032 --> 00:16:44,519 So yesterday I was in the park collecting pinecones 394 00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:46,127 for my sculptures, you know how I like to... 395 00:16:46,129 --> 00:16:47,762 - Skip ahead, please. - Okay. 396 00:16:47,764 --> 00:16:49,274 So I had just found this one 397 00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,487 that was a little sappy, but salvageable... 398 00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:53,072 To the part that involves Buddy. 399 00:16:53,097 --> 00:16:55,121 Right. I heard him talking to someone 400 00:16:55,146 --> 00:16:57,138 on the phone about some kind of payoff, 401 00:16:57,163 --> 00:16:58,696 and he seemed upset. 402 00:16:58,721 --> 00:17:00,137 Wait. So Buddy was at the park, too? 403 00:17:00,162 --> 00:17:01,271 Well, I was gonna tell you that, 404 00:17:01,296 --> 00:17:02,843 but this one made me skip ahead. 405 00:17:02,845 --> 00:17:05,389 Do you think that maybe he getting blackmailed? 406 00:17:05,414 --> 00:17:07,147 Huh. Do you think that's the real reason 407 00:17:07,172 --> 00:17:09,235 the two detectives wanted to talk to him? 408 00:17:09,455 --> 00:17:12,024 Wait. So knives, blackmail, detectives... 409 00:17:12,049 --> 00:17:14,179 I mean, what do we think is going on? 410 00:17:14,204 --> 00:17:15,456 I don't know. 411 00:17:15,571 --> 00:17:17,968 All I do know is that Buddy has always been there for us, 412 00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,232 so now it's our turn to make sure 413 00:17:19,257 --> 00:17:20,889 that nothing bad happens to him. 414 00:17:21,505 --> 00:17:22,689 I should probably move in with him 415 00:17:22,714 --> 00:17:24,849 until this crisis is over. 416 00:17:28,832 --> 00:17:31,294 Have you spoken to Pastor Barlow lately? 417 00:17:31,497 --> 00:17:33,846 Yes, and after our conversation, 418 00:17:33,871 --> 00:17:36,744 I've decided I'm not leaving you for another woman. 419 00:17:36,945 --> 00:17:39,391 About time you came to your senses. 420 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:43,838 I'm leaving you because I can't stand you. 421 00:17:44,182 --> 00:17:46,487 And I don't care what you say... 422 00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,659 a cucumber is a fruit. 423 00:17:53,181 --> 00:17:55,863 And ever since my dear Norman passed, 424 00:17:56,026 --> 00:17:58,966 - I've felt so alone. - [phone whistles]_ 425 00:17:58,968 --> 00:18:01,068 It's like the whole world's abandoned me. 426 00:18:01,496 --> 00:18:03,370 - I got to go. - But... 427 00:18:03,748 --> 00:18:05,248 Hey, you're still pretty bone-able. 428 00:18:05,273 --> 00:18:07,275 Go to some cougar bar. You'll crush it. 429 00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:10,741 I don't care if Hyde's in the can. 430 00:18:10,766 --> 00:18:13,002 Tell him to pinch it off. It's go-time! 431 00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:21,617 [crash] 432 00:18:24,832 --> 00:18:25,826 Get out. 433 00:18:26,078 --> 00:18:28,447 I guess you moved up the meeting. 434 00:18:28,513 --> 00:18:31,514 [dramatic music] 435 00:18:31,867 --> 00:18:33,934 ♪ 436 00:18:41,522 --> 00:18:44,023 Goddamn, I was sick of being in trunks, 437 00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:46,827 and I doubted I could count on another tree falling. 438 00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:49,890 [mumbling] 439 00:18:53,030 --> 00:18:55,097 [whispering] Table. Table. Table. 440 00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:57,451 Mozzarella sticks! 441 00:18:57,483 --> 00:18:59,285 Where the hell are you guys? 442 00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:01,772 Sorry, man, those 'zelly sticks 443 00:19:01,797 --> 00:19:03,296 really plugged me up. 444 00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:05,050 Aw, damn! 445 00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:08,189 ♪♪ 446 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:11,437 [car door opens, closes] 447 00:19:12,695 --> 00:19:14,651 I had one thing going for me. 448 00:19:14,886 --> 00:19:17,160 The element of surprise. Aah! 449 00:19:17,185 --> 00:19:19,652 [groans] Is this yours? 450 00:19:20,015 --> 00:19:21,560 I found it back here. If you're gonna have people 451 00:19:21,585 --> 00:19:23,318 riding in the trunk, it's really dangerous. 452 00:19:23,598 --> 00:19:25,578 - Get out. - Okay. 453 00:19:30,771 --> 00:19:32,186 - Start walking. - He's in trouble. 454 00:19:32,211 --> 00:19:33,805 We got to get to him. 455 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:38,370 Sweet. I've always wanted to drive one of those babies. 456 00:19:49,437 --> 00:19:51,167 - Yeah. - Tim! 457 00:19:52,195 --> 00:19:55,396 [Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" playing] 458 00:19:55,508 --> 00:19:57,708 - You been here before? - Keep moving. 459 00:19:57,765 --> 00:20:01,642 ♪ 460 00:20:01,685 --> 00:20:03,852 Pretty sure they shot "ET" here. 461 00:20:04,038 --> 00:20:06,623 ♪♪ 462 00:20:10,232 --> 00:20:11,509 Cool hole, bro... 463 00:20:12,157 --> 00:20:13,853 perfect for a bed of rosebushes. 464 00:20:13,899 --> 00:20:15,566 Or a body. 465 00:20:15,655 --> 00:20:17,021 Or a nice lemon tree. 466 00:20:17,048 --> 00:20:19,815 Come on, Damien. Can't we talk about this? 467 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,403 Why? So you can tell your cop friends about it? 468 00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:24,161 Now, I'll bet you're wired right now. 469 00:20:24,561 --> 00:20:26,797 No. No, no, no, see! 470 00:20:26,822 --> 00:20:29,668 Look! I'm not! 471 00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,698 - I'm not wired. - Good. 472 00:20:32,948 --> 00:20:35,041 Now I can kill you without anyone hearing. 473 00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:37,285 Wait! I am wired! 474 00:20:37,310 --> 00:20:39,577 Look. Look, right here. 475 00:20:39,644 --> 00:20:41,260 Cops will be here any second, man. 476 00:20:41,385 --> 00:20:42,818 Then I better kill you fast. 477 00:20:42,858 --> 00:20:44,124 That was a bluff! 478 00:20:44,288 --> 00:20:46,155 Look, this thing doesn't even work. 479 00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,238 You can take your time. 480 00:20:48,403 --> 00:20:49,977 - Get up. - Come on. 481 00:20:50,260 --> 00:20:52,707 Can't I just... just get one... one final prayer? 482 00:20:52,732 --> 00:20:55,699 ♪ Got to have a friend in Jesus ♪ 483 00:20:55,856 --> 00:20:58,090 ♪ So you know that when I die ♪ 484 00:20:58,092 --> 00:21:01,025 [crying] Dear Jesus, please... 485 00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:03,275 help me get... get out of here! 486 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:06,468 ♪ Oh, set me up with the spirit in the sky ♪ 487 00:21:06,611 --> 00:21:08,186 That worked better in my head. 488 00:21:08,411 --> 00:21:10,778 Say good-bye, Buddy Dobbs. 489 00:21:10,905 --> 00:21:13,439 ♪ When I die and they lay me to rest ♪ 490 00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:16,720 ♪ I'm gonna go the place that's the best ♪ 491 00:21:16,969 --> 00:21:21,969 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com -