1 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,179 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 2 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:16,016 Don't judge me for what I'm about to ask you to do. 3 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:17,685 Come inside, please. 4 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:20,020 -What're you about to do? -It does not matter. It doesn't matter. 5 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,522 What? 6 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,649 That. 7 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,067 That's why you called me in here? 8 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:27,402 Yeah, look at it. 9 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,404 -I'm looking. -No, look at it. 10 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,365 Uh, it looks like a bug... 11 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,450 -Yeah. -Trapped under a glass. 12 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,744 I googled that bug. It's some sort of demonic cricket 13 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:38,163 that takes chunks out of your skin when provoked. 14 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,332 "Chunks" is the word that Google used. 15 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,667 -You googled a bug? -Yeah. 16 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,628 I have a thing about bugs with milky exoskeletons. 17 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,922 I have this irrational fear, they are gonna crawl into my mouth 18 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,590 and nest at night, so... 19 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,676 So what do you want me to do, kill it? 20 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,303 (SIGHS) No, I think I just need moral support 21 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:56,598 while I slip a piece of paper under the glass with the bug, 22 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,518 and take the trapped bug and walk it outside. 23 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,102 Or we could just kill it. 24 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,646 No, that's not the way to go. 25 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,314 -Oh, my God! It's fleeing! -(INSECT SCUTTLING) 26 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,358 -It's fast! -It's fleeing into the bathroom! 27 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,151 That's why you use the cup method, 28 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,862 because you'd keep it contained! 29 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,613 Now it's just all out! 30 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,115 Well, I guess I don't even need to be here. 31 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,701 Oh, It's hi... 32 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,495 Now it's hiding somewhere in the darkness waiting for nightfall. 33 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:22,041 (STAMMERING) I can't sleep here. I can't sleep here. 34 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,542 Not with your mouth open anyway. 35 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:27,128 That's not a nice thing to say to me. 36 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,049 You know, sometimes I forget what life was like before I knew you. 37 00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:31,884 Okay, bye-bye! Bye. 38 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:34,177 -Yup. -Okay. Hope you catch it. 39 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,974 I can hear it. I can hear it. 40 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,858 (SHOWER RUNNING) 41 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,526 (SHOWER TURNS OFF) 42 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:52,988 MOIRA: What the hell? 43 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,032 Hey, where's my towel? 44 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:57,743 John? 45 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,996 (SHOUTING) Johnny! Where's my towel? 46 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:03,707 Anyways, I asked this kid to come to the front of the class 47 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,333 and solve this math equation 48 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,461 and he was pitching a tent. 49 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,004 (LAUGHS) 50 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,589 -He had a boner. -Ah. 51 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:14,426 And then I was thinking, these are young boys, these poor kids, 52 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,846 and it can't be easy having a teacher like myself... 53 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,723 -Hmm. -So... 54 00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,224 What was your question, again? 55 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,685 You know, it's been so long I can't remember. 56 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:28,189 There you are, John! Where did my towel go? 57 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,901 Moira! Nanaimo bars. 58 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,029 Accidentally doubled the batch and Roland's on diabetes watch, 59 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,115 so I thought, why not share the wealth? 60 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,241 Well, what a lovely gesture, huh, Moira? 61 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:41,829 John, I had a towel and now it's disappeared! 62 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,664 There's a towel on the back of the door. 63 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,040 No, that one has dirt on it! 64 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,126 That's not dirt, I used it to kill a bug. 65 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,377 (SHRIEKING) 66 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,840 I'm sorry. 67 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,884 (STUTTERING) I guess I'm stressed. 68 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,012 Morning, Jocelyn! 69 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,473 You know, Moira, 70 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,809 if you ever need to just go somewhere 71 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,103 to unwind and have some pampering, 72 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,271 I know a great place in Elmdale. 73 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,731 Let's not and say we did. 74 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,609 You know, honey, a little pampering might not be a bad idea, 75 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,696 could alleviate some of that, uh, weight you're carrying around. 76 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:20,159 So now I'm fat and stressed? 77 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,578 Emotional weight. Emotional. 78 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,581 John, go find a towel now, please, 79 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,001 or I will strip out of this robe 80 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,420 and I will air dry in the street! 81 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,132 -Okay, well, I'm just gonna go home. Sorry. -No, no, no. 82 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:38,010 I didn't say I didn't want them. Thank you. 83 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,178 (DOOR CLOSES) 84 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,429 A little pampering. Great idea. 85 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,140 -I think so, yeah. -Yeah. 86 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,982 Hey, Twy. 87 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,234 (EXHALES) 88 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,278 Um, Twy... 89 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,158 What is in the "meadow harvest" smoothie? 90 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,870 Ah, you know, it changes every day. Just depends on my mood. 91 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,664 But it's all organic, earthy ingredients. 92 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,000 Okay, so it's like fruity or... 93 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:12,544 Yes, it is. Yup. At times. 94 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,255 And then other times, not. 95 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:19,093 Okay! Well, today, is it more fruity or more vegetably... 96 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,427 You know, I don't know. 97 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,679 I've gotta check in the back and see what we have. 98 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:26,307 So "meadow harvest" doesn't refer to anything in particular. 99 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,978 No, meadow harvest is exactly how it sounds. 100 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,312 It just changes every day. 101 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,149 Okay. All right. 102 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:37,945 Well, I'll just, um, do that then, the meadow harvest thing. 103 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,696 -Great. -Thank you. 104 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,200 Hi. 105 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,369 Hi. 106 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,830 Um, I just feel like I have to warn you, 107 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:52,584 what you just ordered is gonna run through you like Niagara Falls. 108 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,919 Excuse me? 109 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:57,256 She's a sweet girl but her smoothies are deadly. 110 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,216 Um, I usually prescribe them to my patients 111 00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:01,342 when they're feeling a little backed up. 112 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,470 That's a lot of information. (CHUCKLES) 113 00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,764 I'm kidding. 114 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,433 I'm actually not. I've absolutely done that with her smoothies. 115 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,770 So are you a doctor or... 116 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,354 I'm a veterinarian. 117 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,482 Oh. It's basically the same thing. 118 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,067 Ted. 119 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,235 Um, Alexis. 120 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:21,071 I know. Without sounding too forward, 121 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:23,240 -I've seen you around... -(BOTH CHUCKLE) 122 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,325 ...and, uh, you know, I have to say, 123 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:28,829 I think that you are the most beautiful girl this town's ever seen. 124 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,664 -What? No. -(BLENDER WHIRRING) 125 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:34,209 I'm sure there's, like, another girl somewhere. 126 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,170 -No, I mean it. -(WHIRRING STOPS) 127 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,880 Yeah. Well, that's really nice of you to say. 128 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,260 I would love to take you out to dinner sometime. 129 00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,428 -Uh... -I feel good about this one. 130 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:49,099 Yeah, it's a little less fruity but a little more something. 131 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:52,435 Mmm. 132 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:54,896 Mmm. 133 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,441 (MUFFLED CHUCKLE) 134 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,194 (SPITS) 135 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:02,863 (MOUTHING) 136 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:10,369 So, about the bug thing. 137 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:13,540 No explanation necessary. You've got a thing about bugs. 138 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,209 No, I don't have a thing about bugs. 139 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,627 It was one bug, and that bug was milky. 140 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,088 So, you're a man at one with nature. 141 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,882 Yeah. I could not be more at one with nature. 142 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,051 I do Coachella every year, so... 143 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,303 Oh! So you'd be into coming with me 144 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,805 on the annual turkey shoot then? 145 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,516 That's something that should excite you. 146 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,685 What? 147 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,436 The turkey shoot? 148 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,647 -Mmm. -Roland's annual thing. 149 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:39,941 We go out and we hunt turkeys. 150 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,526 Been doing it every year since I was 151 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,944 far too young to be holding a gun. 152 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,613 Yeah. Yes. 153 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,158 Yeah. Let's do that. 154 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:50,744 I was joking. 155 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,829 I have a strong feeling that would not be your thing. 156 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,875 And what do think my thing is exactly? 157 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,460 High thread count sheets? Colognes that smell like fireplace... 158 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,129 Okay. Well, it might surprise you to know 159 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,630 that I have more than one thing, 160 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,967 so I will happily go with you on the hunt. 161 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,803 Nothing would make me more excited than to... 162 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,513 Go hunting for... 163 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,808 -Turkeys. -Turkeys with you, so... 164 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:17,354 Is this a tweed or a camo situation? 165 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:25,237 Okay, did anyone actually see this pillow come out of this container? 166 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:28,615 Seriously? Go to hell! 167 00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,200 You're a fool! 168 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,952 Okay, Moira, why are we doing this? 169 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,829 Why don't we wait for the girl to come in and help us make the bed? 170 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,873 She never comes, John! 171 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,375 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 172 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:41,169 -(JOHNNY SIGHS) -No. Bastard. 173 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,630 -Bastard! -Jocelyn. 174 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,756 -Johnny. -Hi. 175 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,466 Good, you're here, Moira. 176 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:50,095 I was just booking myself an appointment with Janine at the salon, 177 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,431 and I said to myself, "Wow! 178 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,225 "Moira really looks like she needs a pick-me-up," 179 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,477 (CHUCKLES) so I booked you a mani too! 180 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,813 Little girls spa day on me. 181 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:03,066 Wow! What a nice gesture. 182 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,027 May I see a spa treatment menu? 183 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,530 Oh, well, it's just a salon, so they don't really do all that kind of stuff. 184 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,492 But she does give a mean scalp massage. 185 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,701 Really mean? 186 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,497 If you requested that, I guess, yeah. 187 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,874 Moira, this sounds too good to pass up. 188 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:24,004 Please, please do this, for me. 189 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,422 Let me rephrase that. 190 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,466 Do it for you because you deserve... 191 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,177 Yes! My answer's yes, Jocelyn. Thank you. 192 00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,552 -Yay! -(SIGHS) Oh, yes. 193 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,266 So, what're you doing tonight? 194 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:40,520 Making chilli. Might do some laundry. 195 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:49,279 A polite person would now ask me what I'm doing tonight. 196 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,450 That's what this is about? Sorry. 197 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,369 Um. What're you doing tonight? 198 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,703 Ted's taking me out. 199 00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:57,912 Ted? 200 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,914 Mm-hmm. Ted. 201 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,625 I don't know his last name. The, uh... The, um, doctor. 202 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,752 The vet? 203 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:05,920 Yeah, the doctor. 204 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,465 The animal doctor. 205 00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,550 Yeah, we went to high school together. 206 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,888 I think you'd be good for each other. 207 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,516 Do you? 208 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,894 I think he has everything you're looking for in a husband. 209 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,021 A husband? 210 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,524 What am I looking for in a husband? 211 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,901 Money. 212 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,030 Hmm. 213 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,830 Did you know Richard Gere's middle name is Tiffany? 214 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,166 So Ted's taking me to Antonio's. 215 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,625 What's Antonio's? 216 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,670 It's this little buffet restaurant in Elmdale. 217 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,881 But he said that we could order off the menu. 218 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,966 Are you sure you wanna be travelling so far out of town 219 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,427 with a person you just met? 220 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,636 I went on a blind date to Bali with Leo, 221 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,973 so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be fine. 222 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,642 So who is this person? 223 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,019 Mmm. He's cute. 224 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105 And? 225 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,273 And... 226 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,607 He doesn't have a trust fund, 227 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:11,278 so that's, like, a refreshing change of pace for me. 228 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,987 Speaking of people without trust funds, 229 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,198 what about that beardy thing that you spend time with? 230 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,408 -What, Mutt? -Yeah. 231 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,368 No. Eww. It's not a thing. 232 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,953 -Right. -TED: (OUTSIDE) I'm looking for Alexis. 233 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,914 JOHNNY: Oh. You have a... What? A thing with Alexis tonight? 234 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,083 -TED: Uh, a date. -I think that's Ted. 235 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,085 Why is he over there? 236 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,669 Because he knows how much I love it when 237 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,088 Mom and Dad interrogate your boyfriends. 238 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,881 -I wonder what they're asking. -No, David! 239 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:34,008 Tell me, Ted, are your parents still together? 240 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,802 Uh, no. They divorced when I was in high school. 241 00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,471 Oh. Alcoholism. 242 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:40,056 No, I think they just realised that they were better off as friends. 243 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,350 -JOHNNY: Huh. -(CLICKS TONGUE) Affair. Poor thing. 244 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,811 Okay. That's enough, everybody. Thank you so much. 245 00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:46,354 Hey. Hey, got the wrong room. Hi. 246 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,688 -Yeah, you did. Okay. -Yeah. 247 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,025 Hey, I know you! 248 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,445 Yeah, no, Stevie brought you in to see me. 249 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:56,281 I had the pleasure of treating your son's panic attack. 250 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,576 So Antonio's Buffet, huh? 251 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,536 So many choices, one little plate. 252 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:05,499 Okay, you know what? Bye, guys. We'll see you in the morning. 253 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,917 "In the morning." Very funny, Alexis! 254 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,877 Don't even think about it, ain't gonna happen. 255 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,879 -Ted, not on the first date. -Yes, sir. 256 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,591 Don't wanna kill the buzz, but have fun. 257 00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:17,718 Alexis seems to have found someone to keep her busy. 258 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,346 What about you, David? 259 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:22,056 I'm gonna go to bed. I have to be up early. 260 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:25,185 I stupidly agreed to go hunting with Stevie tomorrow. 261 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,561 -Hunting? -Yeah. 262 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,979 -Hunting? -Yeah. 263 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,272 You said hunting? 264 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,107 Yeah. 265 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:36,488 Wow. 266 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,367 (ALARM BEEPING) 267 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,743 (SIGHS) 268 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,787 Ahh! 269 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,206 -It's me! -Who is it? 270 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,832 It's your father! 271 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,459 What're you doing lurking in our bedroom? 272 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,294 -I'm not lurking in your room. -(BEEPING CONTINUES) 273 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,255 Your alarm is going off. You're not turning off your alarm! 274 00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,341 Shoot. 275 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,636 You know, I'm telling you, I'm not comfortable with you going hunting. 276 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,429 I don't feel comfortable with it either! 277 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,891 End this now. Thank you. 278 00:12:04,932 --> 00:12:06,309 (SIGHS) 279 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,019 -All right, just be careful, please. -Okay, thank you. 280 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,771 You and your nightgown can tippy-toe back to bed. I'm late. 281 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,363 (SIGHING) 282 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,830 You ever killed before? 283 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,543 Have I ever killed before? 284 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,169 No. 285 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,547 Elton John used to have an annual hunt at his place in Windsor, 286 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,173 but that was more about the lunch. 287 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,175 Turkey virgin! 288 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,347 Does this come in a slimmer cut? 289 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,725 Here. You can take this one. 290 00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:48,893 It has a scope so you can see the head. 291 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,897 Okay! Gather round, my shooters. 292 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,191 Bob has a little prayer here he'd like to offer up. 293 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:58,777 Just a little convo with the big man upstairs for a second. 294 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,321 It happens every year. 295 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,409 Our God, in these times of need, 296 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,246 our light in these times of darkness... 297 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,872 David, do you wanna... 298 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,464 So is it, like, a small town thing 299 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,258 to end the first date with a kiss on the cheek? 300 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,052 What? 301 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,429 Nothing. 302 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,765 What? It's not like it was a bad date or anything. 303 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:29,392 (SARCASTICALLY) It sounds like things got crazy. 304 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,269 Yeah. I actually introduced him to Beyonce 305 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,148 in the car ride on the way home, so that was very special. 306 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,151 It's just, if the date's a success with me, 307 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,653 I'll let you know it. 308 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:41,820 Okay. 309 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:42,989 (VEHICLE APPROACHING) 310 00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:47,619 I mean, he might as well have shaken your hand. 311 00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,287 Well, he did that too. 312 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,955 -Hey. -Hey. 313 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,166 I thought that you could use a proper smoothie. 314 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,753 Well, lucky for you, we're just finishing up. 315 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,178 Eh... Hey, Mutt. Do you want a ride? 316 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,263 -I'm good. -Are you sure? It's a long walk. 317 00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,598 I like walking. 318 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,433 Suit yourself, bud. 319 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,769 So you don't mind wrapping up? 320 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,440 ALEXIS: Bye! 321 00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:24,947 So how are your bowels? Good and tight? 322 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,949 Yes. Thank you for the concern. 323 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,160 Well, I just wanna make sure you got the stomach for this 324 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,747 'cause you kinda seem like an indoors-y sort of guy to me. 325 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,667 -Mm-hmm. -You know, delicate. Fragile. 326 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,461 -Scrimpy. -Thank you. 327 00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,007 Okay, get down. 328 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:46,969 (GROANS) 329 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,807 You ever held a gun before? 330 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,434 Uh, yeah, but it wasn't this heavy, 331 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:56,229 which makes me think that Elton's was actually a toy. 332 00:14:56,270 --> 00:15:00,483 All right, you gotta treat it like it's a new-born baby. 333 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:04,571 Have to admit, not into babies so it's kind of a guessing game for me. 334 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,114 Oh, you got soft hands. 335 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,867 Okay, thank you. Thanks. 336 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,535 You don't have to do this. 337 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,495 Do what? Have fun? 338 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:16,750 Smell like manure? Get called "scrimpy"? 339 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,459 Who wouldn't wanna sign up for this? 340 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,502 Yeah. 341 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,051 Oh, oh, uh... 342 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,636 Jocelyn, would you grab us a table 343 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,137 while I speak with my husband, please. 344 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,639 Well, he should join us. 345 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:35,685 -And between you and me, people are noticing you! -(CHUCKLES) 346 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,277 (MOCK ACCENT) Excuse me, cowboy, have you seen my husband? 347 00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,196 Oh, my God. 348 00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,531 Ho ho hoo hoo! 349 00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:51,868 Look at you. Boy, you look like... 350 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,327 Who? Who do I look like? 351 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,496 I wanna say Tonya Harding. 352 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,039 Do you? How about... 353 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:01,586 -Jocelyn. -Mmm. 354 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,715 Oh, my God, that's right. Why Jocelyn? 355 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:07,675 Because everyone who comes out of that salon 356 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,260 looks just like Jocelyn. 357 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,386 Wow. 358 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:13,389 And is that you? Is that your wig? 359 00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:14,933 No, it's a dead possum. 360 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,310 Yes, it's a wig, John. Is she still looking at us? 361 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:23,065 Yes, she is. Yes. 362 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,610 So what happened? I can't believe you're wearing this. 363 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,654 This is what I get for being nice, John. 364 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:30,114 I'm doing this for Jocelyn because she paid for it, 365 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,701 and it was her little treat, and I didn't have the heart to rip it off my head, 366 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,411 -much less torch it. -Oh. 367 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,163 So, now, until I get in the shower, 368 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,708 I'm stuck looking like every other inmate in this godforsaken prison. 369 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,753 -She's coming over. I just told a joke. -You did? 370 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,630 -(BOTH LAUGHING) -You did! 371 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,424 What do you think of your beautiful wife? 372 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:53,972 -Well, which beautiful wife are we talking about here? -Oh! (CHUCKLES) 373 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,099 I can't tell you how freeing it is, Jocelyn, 374 00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:00,102 to try something new like this. 375 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,271 'Tis. I mean, of course, as an actress, 376 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:05,775 I can imagine what kind of sad character might... 377 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,026 But not necessarily... 378 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,194 Sad? 379 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,237 You think this is a sad look? 380 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,364 -No. -No. 381 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,407 -Not the look. No, Jocelyn... -(SCOFFS) 382 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:16,703 I'm talking about the inner sadness that would come from... 383 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,329 From living in such a... 384 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,958 We have to get drinks. Several drinks. 385 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,376 Don't you think? Let's celebrate! 386 00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:26,295 Let's celebrate drinking! 387 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,797 Okay. (CHUCKLES) 388 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,131 -Okay, David... -(TURKEY GOBBLING) 389 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,926 It's all yours, aim for the face. 390 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,427 (HUSHED) It's looking at me. 391 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,180 Ahh! That's it. You're locked in. It's just you and him. 392 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,766 Okay. 393 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:39,851 (SHARP INHALE) 394 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,227 Just point and shoot, David! 395 00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,478 Hard to do when you're talking, Bob. 396 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:43,646 There's no one talking now. 397 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:44,814 -Bob, you're talking. -What? 398 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,440 -Stop talking! -Too much talking. 399 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:47,942 Shoot the bird, David! Shoot it. 400 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,819 Honestly, if you're not gonna shoot it, I'm going to... 401 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,491 (GASPS) 402 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:56,951 And in the neck. 403 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,452 It's still moving. 404 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,538 Just let it bleed out. 405 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,665 You okay? 406 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,167 I feel like one of the Manson girls. 407 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,127 First one's tough. 408 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,671 Even tougher when you shoot it in the neck 409 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,214 'cause then it takes longer to die. 410 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,883 Okay, not helping, Ronnie. 411 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,593 So, now what? Do we just... 412 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,930 Wait until its turkey family comes and shoot them too? 413 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,473 Hey. I think I see them. 414 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:20,850 -No, no. -(TURKEYS GOBBLING) 415 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,101 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 416 00:18:22,142 --> 00:18:24,103 MOIRA: Yes! Heard you. 417 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,608 -Jocelyn! -Hi. 418 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,443 -Hi. -I just wanted to say 419 00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,570 how fun it was to spend the day with you. 420 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,740 Oh, Jocelyn, 'tis I who owes you a big thank you. 421 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:39,744 I also wanted to apologise for Janine ruining your wig. 422 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,203 No, don't be silly. I was... 423 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,873 I was about to find a shower cap. 424 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,417 I know you hate your hair, Moira. 425 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,336 Almost as much as you hate this town. 426 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:53,382 But there's a possibility you could be here a really long time. 427 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,927 May I offer you something? 428 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:59,346 The people here are just trying to help you, 429 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:02,516 and there'll be days when your wigs need conditioning, 430 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,020 or one of your fashion-y blouses shrinks in the dryer, 431 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,648 and you'll have to go to Janine's 432 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,067 or get a shirt at the Blouse Barn 433 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:13,069 just like the rest of us. 434 00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:16,405 And I would hate for that day to catch you by surprise. 435 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,075 I don't hate this town, Jocelyn. 436 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:22,787 It's just not mine, and this is not my hair. 437 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,123 I know. It's a wig. 438 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,750 It's not my style. (CHUCKLES) 439 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,836 You? On you, it's adorable. 440 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:34,507 You have a look that says, "Hi. I'm Jocelyn, and I know who I am!" 441 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,135 For that, you're very fortunate. You are. 442 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,138 I don't who I am from one moment to the next. 443 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,766 So honestly, dear, I envy you, all right? 444 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,560 But if you ever, 445 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:50,648 ever catch me shopping at the Blouse Barn, 446 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,233 you must shoot me in the temple. 447 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:54,527 Promise? 448 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,696 Promise. 449 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,906 My son is hunting right now with your husband, 450 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,117 so I know you people have guns. 451 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,957 What about what we just did makes you think, 452 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:11,502 "Yeah, you know what? I wanna do this year after year after year"? 453 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:15,506 Was it the lying in the mud part or was it wearing the clothes 454 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,718 that smell like menthol cigarettes and body odour? 455 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,803 'Cause usually it's more fun. 456 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,556 Usually Ray comes and gets wasted, 457 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,726 and spends the whole day singing Carole King ballads. 458 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:27,852 MOIRA: David, I... 459 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,979 Need a towel, please. 460 00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:33,149 Is that a new wig? Because you are reminding me of someone. 461 00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:34,441 Towel, please. 462 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,904 I need my towels. What... Who did this to you? 463 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,655 You went to Janine's. 464 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,615 Yes. Jocelyn took me to... 465 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,284 Jocelyn. You look like Jocelyn. (CHUCKLES) 466 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,662 Jocelyn. And what's your excuse? 467 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,831 Oh, um... 468 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,666 I shot a bird in the neck today. 469 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:53,586 It was an indelible image that I had scarred in my mind 470 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:56,881 until I saw what was happening up there with you. 471 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,298 So thank you. 472 00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,720 I'm gonna get your towel. 473 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:08,893 (SIGHS)