1 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,235 Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever 2 00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:08,035 Mr. and Mrs. Marshall Eriksen 3 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,239 and Lily Aldrin. 4 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,452 Does it make you kind of sad 5 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,887 that we don't share the same last name? 6 00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,652 You know, in a totally evolved 7 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:23,821 21st-century kind of way, yeah, a little. 8 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,461 Oh, you know what we should do? 9 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:28,326 We should come up with a whole new last name. 10 00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:32,066 Oh, that's easy-- Lily and Marshall Skywalker. 11 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,443 Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff. 12 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,972 I got it. You ready? Mm-hmm. 13 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,237 You ready? Yeah. 14 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,006 Lily and Marshall Awesome. 15 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,284 Have you met the Awesomes? 16 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,043 Marshall, Lily, their son, Totally 17 00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:45,112 and their daughter, Freakin'? 18 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:48,119 I love you, Mr. Awesome. 19 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,682 I love you, Mrs. Awesome. 20 00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:54,424 So... 21 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,588 So... 22 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,716 Wedding's over. 23 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,260 Yes, it is. 24 00:00:58,326 --> 00:00:59,726 I guess starting tomorrow, 25 00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,303 we can tell people. 26 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,962 Mm-hmm. Tell people what? 27 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:04,830 Hi, Barney. 28 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,998 Tell people what? 29 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,566 The food looks delicious, doesn't it? 30 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:08,665 Tell people what? 31 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:09,766 Nothing. 32 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,837 Oh, okay. Tell people what? 33 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,065 Can we talk about this later? 34 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,511 Absolutely. Tell people what? 35 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,579 Hi. Have you met Barney? 36 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:18,754 Hey. Barney Stinson. Lovely dress. 37 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,252 I know, I'm sick of these things, too. 38 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,824 It's like the same wedding over and over again. 39 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:23,882 You're totally right. You want to dance? Great, see you out there. 40 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,621 Tell people what? 41 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,586 Look, this is not something we want to talk about right now, okay, Barney? 42 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:31,156 Oh, okay. 43 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:33,425 Uh-huh. Great. 44 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,264 Whoo, that was a close one. 45 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,929 Think he'll actually let it go? 46 00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,227 (Barney over P.A.): Tell people what? 47 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,629 Tell people what? Tell people what? 48 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,630 Tell people what? 49 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,171 Tell people... 50 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:45,206 There's a black Nissan Stanza in the parking lot 51 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,513 with its lights on. 52 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,184 Tell people what? Tell people what? 53 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,894 Can I get a water please? 54 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,488 Tell people what? Oh, God! 55 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,130 Okay, look, we have some... news. 56 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,368 TED: But we don't want to draw attention 57 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,732 away from Lily and Marshall's big day. 58 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:14,971 So just forget about it 59 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:15,965 until they leave for the honeymoon. 60 00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,936 Fine. 61 00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,905 It's pretty big, though. 62 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,483 Oh, my God, just tell me! 63 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,813 Oh, help us. What's wrong? 64 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,447 We're starving. 65 00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,523 We planned this amazing meal with the caterers, 66 00:02:27,581 --> 00:02:28,981 and we haven't had a bite of it. 67 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,149 Every time we get near the food, 68 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:32,488 we get cocktail wiener blocked. 69 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,222 Marshall! 70 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:48,671 (glasses clinking) 71 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:51,366 (cheering) 72 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,318 We haven't eaten all day. 73 00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,383 All right, let's run some interference. 74 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,791 Yeah, we'll get you back to your table. 75 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,692 Come on. 76 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,824 Oh, there you are. 77 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:09,859 My dear... 78 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:11,663 you look so beautiful. 79 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,425 Thanks, Grammie, but we really need to... And you... 80 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:16,704 You look like a 1940s movie star. 81 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:19,534 And you look like a pepper-crusted rack of lamb with mint jelly. 82 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,270 All right, let's get these two back to their table. 83 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,905 We will see you on the floor for the conga line later, won't we? 84 00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,942 TED: The answer to that one was decided weeks earlier. 85 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,283 Hmm... conga line. 86 00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,375 Oh, yes, definitely. 87 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,417 How about a slide show of you guys through the years 88 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:39,654 set to Green Day's "Time of Your Life" 89 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,220 and ending with your baby photos side by side. 90 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,220 Oh, that's great. 91 00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,662 Going on the list. 92 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:46,786 What list? 93 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,430 Horrible wedding clichés 94 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,556 we're not going to touch with a ten-foot limbo pole. 95 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,701 Oh, like First Corinthians? 96 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,836 That Bible verse? They do that at every wedding. 97 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,173 How's it go? 98 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,367 "Love is patient and kind. 99 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,910 "Love does not envy or boast. 100 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,375 "It is not arrogant or rude. 101 00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,214 "Love does not insist on it's own way. 102 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,420 "It is not irritable or resentful. 103 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,882 "Love bears all things, 104 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:15,991 "believes all things, hopes all things... 105 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,326 endures all things." 106 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,803 Lame. Going on the list. 107 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,062 We've done it. 108 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,700 A wedding with zero clichés. 109 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,336 Wait, isn't doing it in the reception hall bathroom 110 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,301 kind of a cliché? 111 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,169 Well, okay, one cliché. 112 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:32,507 Well, technically two. 113 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,983 No! They cleared our plates again! 114 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:39,213 Pepper-crusted rack of lamb, where did you go?! 115 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,809 It's my wedding night. 116 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,681 I was supposed to have my way with you. 117 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:45,190 Oh, well, you still have me. 118 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,022 Yeah... 119 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,918 Anyway, guys, 120 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,489 we're kind of in the middle of something, 121 00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:51,828 so if you could go bicker 122 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:53,632 or share a tense, sexless silence 123 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,534 or whatever married people do somewhere else, that'd be great. 124 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,366 No, Barney, this is my wedding, 125 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,201 and I will sit wherever I damn well... 126 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,366 Are those mini quiches? 127 00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,442 Tell the secret. 128 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:06,744 Okay, uh... (clearing throat) it was our anniversary, 129 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,377 so we went to this restaurant Carmichael's, 130 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,982 which is where we went on our first date. 131 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,853 Remember, the place where I stole 132 00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,782 the blue French horn for Robin? 133 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,548 Oh, right, that was you. 134 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,587 I knew that was somebody I knew. 135 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,492 What? 136 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:20,893 Dude, you were there. 137 00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,964 That was like a big iconic moment in all of our lives. 138 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,564 Maybe in your life-- I got a lot of stuff going on. 139 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:29,057 Okay, so we're sitting there 140 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,329 and the waiter comes over... 141 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,268 Champagne? 142 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,372 Um, we didn't order champagne. 143 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,295 Compliments of the house. 144 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,799 Wow. 145 00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,870 Thanks. 146 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,209 Cheers. 147 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,543 And there, sitting at the bottom 148 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:44,309 of my champagne glass is... 149 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:45,378 Mini quiche. 150 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,446 You're a mega-douche. 151 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:47,824 Oh, that's right, 152 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,721 they moved that table back toward the kitchen, 153 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,023 because that's where they're setting up 154 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,394 a surprise chocolate fountain. 155 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,353 Oh, no, I gave it away. 156 00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,957 (Lily grunting) 157 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,186 So what was in the glass? 158 00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,660 Right. 159 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,129 So the waiter comes up with two glasses of Dom. 160 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,397 He says, "Champagne?" 161 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:06,466 "We didn't order any champagne." 162 00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:07,904 "Compliments of the house." "Wow." 163 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,738 You said that already! 164 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,413 Right. So Robin looks down, 165 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:15,843 and there at the bottom of her glass... 166 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,849 ROBIN: Is an engagement ring. 167 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:21,421 Anything you want to say to the bride and groom? 168 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:24,152 Don't get married. 169 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,987 Why don't I come back. 170 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,597 An engagement ring? 171 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:37,773 No. No, no, no, no, no, no. 172 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,801 Ted, you cannot do this to me. No. 173 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,397 No, no, no! 174 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,705 That's what she said. 175 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:45,942 No. 176 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,366 No, no, no, no, no. 177 00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,481 Ted, you cannot do this to me. 178 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:52,713 - No. No, no, no. - What are you talking about? 179 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,550 This. This is what I'm talking about. 180 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,145 What is this doing in my champagne? 181 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,586 Oh, God, listen... I just got to get out of here. 182 00:06:58,652 --> 00:06:59,992 That's not mine. 183 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,223 What? 184 00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,918 That's not mine. 185 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,890 Then whose is it? 186 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,028 It's mine. 187 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,467 Janna... 188 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,032 will you marry me? 189 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,170 Yes. 190 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,298 (chuckles) 191 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,909 (applause) 192 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,872 (chuckles) 193 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,911 Wow. 194 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,081 That was hilarious. 195 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,046 I was like... what? 196 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,075 Anyway. 197 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,150 What the hell was that? 198 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,319 What the hell was what? 199 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,817 That reaction? 200 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,189 I thought you were proposing to me. 201 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,488 Really? Because it sounded like 202 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,600 you thought I was trying to set you on fire. 203 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,502 Ted, you know how I feel about marriage. 204 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,174 Now more than ever. 205 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,372 I'm sorry, were you planning on proposing tonight? 206 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,174 No. Then why is this an issue? 207 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,936 Because even though you don't want to get married, 208 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,874 I'd like to think the fact that we've been together for a year, 209 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,510 and that we love each other might get me a gentler reaction 210 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:58,576 than, "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 211 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,576 "Ted, you cannot do this to me. 212 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:03,078 No. No, no, no." 213 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:06,450 (sighs) Okay, you're right, I just... freaked out. 214 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,620 I don't know why. 215 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,218 I'm sorry. 216 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,794 Can we please just let it go? 217 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,130 No. 218 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,667 Hey, Stinson. 219 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,773 Never lie to a man about a chocolate fountain. 220 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,466 So did you guys find anything to eat? 221 00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:27,338 I had four strawberries. 222 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,207 Was there a side of champagne 223 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,536 with each of the strawberries? 224 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,251 (belching): Yes. 225 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,250 MARSHALL: Lily, you could have burped 226 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,275 or said the word "Yes," 227 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,620 but the fact that you did both 228 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:39,986 is exactly why I married you. 229 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,053 Mmm. 230 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,392 Oh, look, more strawberries! 231 00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:44,416 (sighs) 232 00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,461 (laughing) 233 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,755 So what happened next? 234 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,527 Ted, don't do this. 235 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:49,696 No, seriously. 236 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,863 Where do you see yourself in five years? 237 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,631 Where do you see yourself? 238 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,500 Honestly, in five years... 239 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:58,109 I probably want to be married. 240 00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:02,411 And I probably want to be in Argentina. 241 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,735 Argentina? 242 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,451 Or Tokyo, or Paris. 243 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:08,352 Look, Ted, I don't know where I'm going to be in five years. 244 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:09,515 And I don't want to know. 245 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,593 I want my life to be an adventure. 246 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,322 We have an expiration date, don't we? 247 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,187 Oh, my God. 248 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,558 You guys broke up. 249 00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:21,627 LILY: Whoo! 250 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,595 You guys broke up. 251 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,937 I can't believe it. 252 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,201 Barney... 253 00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,099 story's not over. 254 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,611 Can we please not talk about this here. 255 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:33,673 Can we go home? 256 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,711 Yeah, of course. 257 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,206 Uh, excuse me, I'm sorry about this. 258 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,307 Can we actually have... Oh, my God, it's you. 259 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:40,879 Wha... what? 260 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,578 You're the son of a bitch 261 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:45,320 who stole our blue French horn. 262 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,585 Run! 263 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:47,664 BARNEY: Run? 264 00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:49,661 Your strategy was run? 265 00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,963 It was a perfectly good idea. 266 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,434 They didn't have our credit card information. 267 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,562 They didn't know us from Adam. 268 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:54,557 I stand by it. 269 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:55,698 Yeah? 270 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,203 And how did that work out for you? 271 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,374 Hey! Oh! 272 00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,701 (Robin screams) 273 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,067 I don't see why they had 274 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,874 to keep my credit card and driver's license 275 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,536 till we bring the horn back. 276 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,514 Well, come on, Ted, can you blame them? 277 00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:08,383 Look, I'm sorry about the French horn. 278 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,181 I want to make this right. 279 00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:12,483 So what we're going to do right now is, we're going 280 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,605 to run! 281 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:15,321 (glass breaking) Ooh. 282 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,351 So... 283 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,619 Argentina. 284 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,188 Argentina. 285 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,585 Why is this the first I've heard of Argentina? 286 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,158 Mmm, American schools suck at geography. 287 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,695 What would be the point in telling you 288 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,003 that I want to live in Argentina? 289 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,704 You don't want to live there. I could 290 00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:33,826 want to live in Argentina. 291 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,071 No, you couldn't. 292 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,965 I mean, you life is here and your career. 293 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,867 I'm a journalist, my career could take me anywhere, 294 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:41,069 and I hope it does. Hey. 295 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,141 I could be an architect anywhere, too. 296 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,750 They have buildings in Argentina. 297 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,752 And Paris. And even Tokyo. 298 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:48,254 I don't know if you ever saw Godzilla, 299 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,245 but he wasn't knocking down a bunch of tents. 300 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,347 So, what? 301 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,318 You're saying you want to move to Argentina? 302 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:56,186 Well, I always regretted 303 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,986 not taking a year in college to live abroad. 304 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,759 I just finished a big project at work. 305 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,528 I... I got some money saved up. 306 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,095 If ever there were a time in my life 307 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,874 to do something like this, it's right now. 308 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,166 Let's move to Argentina. 309 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:10,896 Oh, shut up. 310 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,311 You're scared I might not be kidding. 311 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,672 Aren't you? 312 00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,412 Nope. 313 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,409 Your move, Scherbatsky. 314 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,324 Okay. 315 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,886 Let's do it-- let's move to Argentina. 316 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,430 ¡No es posible! 317 00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:35,330 Nobody moves to Argentina. 318 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,225 The Argentinean peso 319 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,396 has dropped two-thirds in five years, 320 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,895 the government is opposed to free market reforms, 321 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,268 and the railroad has been a mess 322 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,865 since the breakup of Ferrocarriles Argentinos. 323 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,579 I hooked up with an Argentinean exchange student 324 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,281 in a Porta-John outside Yankee Stadium. 325 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,083 Man, she was chatty. 326 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,005 Right? Right? 327 00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,521 You caught the bouquet? 328 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,953 Barney. 329 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,649 The story's not over yet. 330 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,990 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 331 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,215 What? 332 00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:06,390 I don't know if I can do this to you. Do what? 333 00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:08,829 Well, you say you want to move to Argentina, 334 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,996 but you want to have kids. 335 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,534 Oh, right. 'Cause there are no kids there. 336 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,870 On Santa's map of the world, 337 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:17,365 there's a big black "X" over Argentina. 338 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:18,737 You know what I mean. 339 00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:19,666 No, I don't. 340 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,009 Okay, say we had kids. Yeah. 341 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,405 They wouldn't have to grow up 342 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,576 in some suburb somewhere. 343 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:25,984 They would grow up on the road 344 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,016 having adventures with us. 345 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,451 Think of all the Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts they could collect. 346 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:34,217 Ted, you know that kids were never a part of my plan. 347 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:40,634 But if I was going to have someone's babies, 348 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,533 I'd have your babies. 349 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,955 That's when you run. 350 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,771 Tell me you ran, Ted. 351 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,597 Wait, wait, wait. 352 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,411 We don't want to start having babies right this second. 353 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,443 Do you have a...? 354 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,577 No, I don't. 355 00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:58,512 Well, we probably shouldn't. 356 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,248 Yeah. 357 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:07,246 Risk it? 358 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,520 Risk it. 359 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,237 No. 360 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,309 All right, ladies and gentlemen, if you will 361 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:35,218 gather around, Lily and Marshall are going to cut the cake. 362 00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,422 No. 363 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,193 Robin, you're not... 364 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,991 No, say the story's not over. 365 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,653 Come on, they're cutting the cake. 366 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:42,961 Say the story's not over! 367 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,863 Oh, God, this is the 12th most worried 368 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,426 I've ever been that someone's pregnant. 369 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,155 (Lily laughing) 370 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,128 Okay, Lily. 371 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,040 I'm really hungry, so let's just, uh, 372 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,602 aim for my mouth, okay? 373 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,209 Besides, the smearing the cake thing's a cliché, remember? 374 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,642 No, it's going to be so funny. 375 00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,778 (distorted): Lily. 376 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,213 Lily, just feed me the cake. 377 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:11,051 Please, baby, I am so hungry. 378 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,389 (guests gasping) 379 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,924 (Lily laughing) MARSHALL: Whoopsy-daisy. 380 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,930 And she's okay. 381 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,362 She's all right. 382 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:23,227 That was funny. And it's time for the honeymoon. 383 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,026 You know? 384 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,627 Guys, guys, guys. 385 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,628 Thank you so much. 386 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,599 We love you. 387 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,637 I love you. 388 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,672 Getting married, 389 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,067 having kids. 390 00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,169 It's all a mistake. 391 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,040 It's a horrible, horrible mistake. 392 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:38,108 God, this guy's giving me nothing. 393 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:40,108 All right, have fun in Scotland. 394 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,480 If you see the Loch Ness Monster, 395 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,418 tell him Ted Mosby says, "What's up?" 396 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,953 Nessie's a she, Ted, come on. 397 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,890 Good-bye. 398 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,356 (cheering) 399 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,738 Hey, kiddo. 400 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,442 Tsk. 401 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,984 You are going to miss out on a lot of awesome stuff. 402 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,041 You'll be at home 403 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,839 with the kid while I am out awesome-ing 404 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,111 all over the place. 405 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,547 And you're going to get fat. 406 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:19,453 The story's not over, Barney. 407 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,619 Okay, time to get the horn back to the bistro. 408 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,719 Oh, Ted, I don't know if I can go again. 409 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:25,691 That tuckered me out. 410 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,428 Not a euphemism. 411 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:28,964 Oh. 412 00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,399 (laughing): Right. 413 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,373 Okay, let me just go change, and we'll leave. 414 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,432 Whoa, whoa, you get to change and I don't? 415 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:35,471 Uh-uh. 416 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:36,965 Solidarity, sister. 417 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,407 That is crazy. 418 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,471 I have a change of clothes and you don't. Suck it up. 419 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,140 Well, if we'd actually moved in together, 420 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:45,149 all my stuff would be here, but we didn't, so... 421 00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,924 Yeah. 422 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,030 We were all talk, weren't we? 423 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,325 We're not doing this, are we? 424 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,028 I don't want to have kids in Argentina. 425 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,070 And I don't want 426 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,165 to have kids in Argentina. 427 00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,484 So where does that leave us? 428 00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,908 Well... 429 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:25,121 we could stay together and... 430 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,715 pretend this stuff doesn't matter. 431 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,026 Or... 432 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:36,232 we could give back the blue French horn. 433 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,373 You stole a blue French horn for me. 434 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:50,036 I would have stolen you a whole orchestra. 435 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:53,510 * * 436 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,357 You did break up. 437 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,192 Yep. 438 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,627 You're not pregnant? 439 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,032 Nope. 440 00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,204 An-And Marshall and Lily don't know? 441 00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,902 Well, afterwards, 442 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,573 uh, we came by to tell you guys, 443 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,702 but Lily was pretty stressed out, so... 444 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,897 ROBIN: We decided not to say anything till after the wedding. 445 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,769 Whoa. 446 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,410 You guys okay? 447 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:27,675 Well, it hasn't been the easiest two weeks of our lives, but... 448 00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:29,547 But we're okay. 449 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,750 The open bar helps. 450 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:33,649 BOY: Excuse me, Miss. 451 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,790 Hi. 452 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,664 Could I have this dance? 453 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,991 Well, we knew this day would come eventually. 454 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,300 Take care of her, little man. 455 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,842 (sighs) 456 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,073 (squeals) Mmm. 457 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,240 Uh-huh. 458 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,777 (both laughing) 459 00:17:55,842 --> 00:18:00,352 This is by far the drunkest I've ever seen you. 460 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,352 Uh, driver. 461 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,216 Hello! 462 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,818 (laughing): Oh! Ranjit. 463 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,630 Hey, can we make a stop before we head back to the hotel? 464 00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,633 You do not have to stop. 465 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,925 You can be together 466 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:20,326 as man and wife right back there, 467 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,740 and because we are friends... 468 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:26,312 I will not watch. 469 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:30,283 Um, no, we actually had something else in mind. 470 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,453 (both laughing) 471 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,012 Okay. 472 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,921 Lily, go sit down. 473 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,083 Welcome to Wienerburger. 474 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,651 Hi. 475 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,049 Uh, can we get a number one, please, 476 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,391 with no pickles? 477 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,886 And a number four with no onions. 478 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:47,929 Let me guess. 479 00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:49,434 Jefferson High prom? 480 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,526 No. 481 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:52,668 But thank you. 482 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,802 Uh, actually, 483 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:54,896 we just got married. 484 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,197 Wow. 485 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,599 Congratulations. Thank you. 486 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,741 That's $7.80. 487 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,583 Hey, dude. 488 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:03,482 Yeah. 489 00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:04,643 I don't know how to say this, 490 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:07,381 but your wife just threw up in the trash. 491 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,388 My wife. 492 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,822 TED: So Marshall and Lily were married, 493 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,590 and Robin and I were broken up. 494 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,859 And as hard as it was at the time, 495 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,828 in the end we both got what we wanted. 496 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,226 She did go on to live in Argentina 497 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,999 and Morocco, Greece, Russia, 498 00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:32,208 even Japan for a little while. 499 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:35,882 And I... well, I met your mom. 500 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,842 I think for the most part if you're really honest 501 00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,850 with yourself about what you want out of life, 502 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,782 life gives it to you. 503 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,018 Mmm. 504 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,622 Of course, at that moment, all I really wanted 505 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:48,564 was a scotch and soda and a cigar. 506 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,532 * * 507 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:00,425 Hey. 508 00:20:05,405 --> 00:20:08,375 I'm really sorry about you and Robin. 509 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,611 I know I was always joking around about wanting you two 510 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:14,307 to break up, but you were really good together. 511 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:19,091 Yeah... we were. 512 00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:21,121 She just wasn't the one, you know? 513 00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,587 The one. 514 00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:24,585 Oh, Ted, no. 515 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:26,057 Do not tell me you're going 516 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,525 to start searching for "the one" again. 517 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,625 The only time I want to hear you saying "the one" is 518 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,267 if it's followed by the word "hundredth." 519 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,802 (sing-songy): What up? 520 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,636 No, I need a break from all that, I... 521 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,602 I just want to get out there 522 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,970 and have fun for a while, you know? 523 00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,709 Really? 524 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,114 (clearing throat): 'Cause... 525 00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,606 you know, you've been in a relationship for a year. 526 00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:49,719 You're going to... be a little rusty. 527 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,324 Yeah. 528 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,915 I'm just saying... 529 00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:58,017 you're gonna need, need, need some help out there. 530 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:01,090 Could be. 531 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,060 Ted? 532 00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,629 Yes, Barney. 533 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,798 Do you think... 534 00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:15,477 Do you think maybe you might... need a wingman again? 535 00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:21,482 I do. 536 00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:24,145 Yes! 537 00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,746 Yes! 538 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,148 We're back. 539 00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:28,719 We are back. 540 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,688 And Ted, my boy, it's going to be legend... 541 00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:32,988 Wait for it.