1 00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,447 [* "Boulevard" by Jackson Browne playing] 2 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,393 {\an8}♪ Down on the boulevard they take it hard... ♪ 3 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:28,228 [announcer] [on loudspeaker] It's a beautiful day 4 00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:31,197 here at Velvety Canned Cheese Park. 5 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:34,901 {\an8}Velvety Canned Cheese: making your cheese a breeze. 6 00:00:35,001 --> 00:00:36,603 {\an8}Good morning, everybody. 7 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:39,639 {\an8}Get you some canned cheese. 8 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,775 {\an8}That hat is too great. 9 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,476 {\an8}I love it, you girls. 10 00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:44,344 {\an8}[crowd cheering] 11 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:47,080 {\an8}♪ But if you choose to stay ♪ 12 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,982 {\an8}♪ You end up playing anyway ♪ 13 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,850 {\an8}[announcer] And here come our boys now. 14 00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:56,122 {\an8}Ladies and gentlemen, your Montgomery Cheesemongers! 15 00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:00,060 {\an8}And on the mound, Montgomery's own hometown hero, 16 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,696 {\an8}"Rocket" Russ Waddell! 17 00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:08,068 {\an8}♪ And you know the kid's in shock ♪ 18 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,437 {\an8}♪ Up and down the block ♪ 19 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,573 Get 'em, Rocket! Mow 'em down! 20 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:16,443 {\an8}These rat bastards can't handle the heat, Russ! 21 00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,811 Blast off! 22 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:21,214 [crowd cheering] 23 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,253 [crowd groaning] 24 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,324 [crowd] Oh! 25 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,460 [spectator] Come on! 26 00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:37,364 Shake it off, Rocket! You still got it! 27 00:01:37,464 --> 00:01:40,233 Just warming up, Russ, just warming up! 28 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,702 [crowd cheering] 29 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,145 - [spectator] Ah, shit. - [cheering dies down] 30 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,415 [crowd boos] 31 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:01,688 [crowd jeering] 32 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,292 {\an8}[player] It's a fucking embarrassment. 33 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:08,161 {\an8}[player 2] I never even seen nothin' like it, man. 34 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:10,497 {\an8}Never gonna win again. Never getting laid again. 35 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,465 {\an8}Twenty-nine straight losses! 36 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,734 {\an8}Twenty-nine! 37 00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:17,070 {\an8}We're like the goddamn Bad News Bears! 38 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,738 {\an8}Actually, the Bad News Bears 39 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,807 {\an8}had one good pitcher and one good hitter. 40 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:24,577 {\an8}So unless Tatum O'Neal walks through that door, we're worse. 41 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,613 {\an8}Russ. 42 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:30,450 {\an8}Russ? 43 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,085 {\an8}Are we drinking? 44 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:33,520 {\an8}Right behind you. 45 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,134 Hey. 46 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:52,005 {\an8}- Brought you some soup. - Oh. 47 00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,341 {\an8}- Thank you, Lucille. - Mm-hmm. 48 00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,084 Well, I just wanted you to know that 49 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,087 you will always have a home here 50 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,457 at Velvety Canned Cheese Park. 51 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,327 You're part of the family no matter what. 52 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,396 Thanks. 53 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:21,368 And with Sal retiring next season, 54 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:24,471 we're going to need a new head groundskeeper. 55 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,243 Oh, dang. Oh, did Skip not... 56 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,911 - Oh. - [Skip] Uh... 57 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,546 I was just, um, 58 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,648 working up the nerve to tell you. 59 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:38,651 GM called. 60 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,422 Organization's going to let you go. 61 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:44,758 That's it? 62 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:45,859 I'm done? 63 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,761 Russ, I'm sorry. 64 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:51,498 It's just... time. 65 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:56,169 ♪ Well, I tried to make it Sunday ♪ 66 00:03:56,269 --> 00:04:00,206 ♪ But I got so damn depressed ♪ 67 00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,741 ♪ That I set my sights... ♪ 68 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,309 Oh, so that's it, huh? 69 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,745 Yep. They're giving me one more start, 70 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,514 then off to the pasture. 71 00:04:07,614 --> 00:04:08,915 Goddamn. 72 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:09,983 It's not fair, Rocket. 73 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,217 It's too damn fair. 74 00:04:11,317 --> 00:04:12,385 That's what hurts. 75 00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:14,587 If I still had my heat, that'd be something else. 76 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,990 You still have that 100-mile-an-hour fastball 77 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,258 left in you, Russ. 78 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:19,693 Yeah, you'll get it back. 79 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,695 Nah, it's gone. 80 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,131 Skip's right. Maybe it's just time. 81 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,668 Rocket, fellas, drinks are on me. 82 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:29,769 Oh. 83 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:30,770 Look at that! 84 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,006 I actually won 200 bucks betting on you guys 85 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,874 losing back-to-back games. 86 00:04:34,974 --> 00:04:36,676 Figured I owed you, so... 87 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,712 Hey, enjoy. 88 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:41,481 Does anybody got any decent work 89 00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:42,982 lined up for the off season? 90 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,517 [Carl] Not yet. 91 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,953 They still got the classified ads in the newspapers? 92 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,222 I don't think they still have newspapers. 93 00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:54,027 Vegas odds of us losing our next five games is 22 to one? 94 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,762 - Hmm. - [Hunter] So? 95 00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:56,830 So? 96 00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:00,300 If our so-called fans could make money 97 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,135 off how bad we are, 98 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,570 why can't we? 99 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,406 Isn't players gambling on games illegal? 100 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,442 It's more than illegal, Goose. It's sacrilege. 101 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:14,647 And if anybody even heard that we were discussing this, 102 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,684 forget the show, we'd all be banned for life. 103 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,520 Lew, you're a 32-year-old bush league catcher 104 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,722 with a career batting average of 220. 105 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,025 I hate to break it to you, but you ain't making the show. 106 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,259 Neither are you. 107 00:05:26,359 --> 00:05:28,094 I know. None of us are. 108 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,295 I mean, we can't beat time. 109 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:31,364 So what do we do? 110 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,100 Okay, we got five games 111 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,802 between now and my last start, right? 112 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,937 If someone was to bet a parlay 113 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,939 on us losing all five games, 114 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,374 for any dollar they put in, 115 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,210 that someone would get 22 back. 116 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:45,612 And that someone is us. 117 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,913 - Right? - Oh, my God. 118 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,381 Thank you, Carl. 119 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,316 Okay, look, we pool together 120 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:51,685 all the money we could get our hands on, right? 121 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,354 Life savings, second mortgages, whatever. 122 00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,122 Then we bet on ourselves. 123 00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,591 I mean, if we could get, like, 100K, 124 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,795 we're talking, like, two million in return, huh? 125 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:02,796 Are we in? 126 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:03,663 I'm in. 127 00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:07,233 ♪ Will you meet me in the air? ♪ 128 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,303 ♪ Will you love me just a little? ♪ 129 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,807 ♪ Just enough to show you care ♪ 130 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,875 ♪ Well, I tried... ♪ 131 00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,010 If I sell the camper, 132 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:18,278 I can get, like, 15, 20 grand. 133 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,679 - Ha-ha! - Let's go! 134 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,147 Attaboy. 135 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:23,149 [crowd cheering] 136 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:26,519 [* upbeat music playing] 137 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,795 Cheesemongers lose to the Honeys 138 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,731 12 to 0. 139 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:42,202 Cheesemongers lose again 11 to one. 140 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,372 On the bright side, Velvety Canned Cheese 141 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,307 does help to drown the sorrow 142 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,776 of this punishing losing streak. 143 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,112 Mm-mm-mm. 144 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,013 [umpire] Safe! 145 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,449 [announcer] Cheesemongers lose 13 to three. 146 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,118 Mm. 147 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,586 Someone take this away from me, 148 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,187 but just know I'ma put up a fight. 149 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:03,590 [crowd cheering] 150 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,531 [crowd boos] 151 00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,300 [announcer] Cheesemongers keep it within 10 runs, 152 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,703 losing 14 to five. 153 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,004 Let's go. 154 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,709 {\an8}Another Cheesemonger loss would make for 34 straight, 155 00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:26,746 {\an8}breaking a minor league record that stood since 1951. 156 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,382 {\an8}Russ, as today's starting pitcher, 157 00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:31,217 {\an8}how are you dealing with the pressure? 158 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,386 {\an8}Well, I'm just grateful I'm the one 159 00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,522 {\an8}who's taking the mound for us today. 160 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,424 Oh, Russ, 161 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,525 seems like, uh, 162 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,694 I bear nothing but bad news these days. 163 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,897 Front office promoted a kid from rookie ball, 164 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,499 Felix Domingo. 165 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,668 And they want him to start. 166 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,638 Skip, this is my last start. 167 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,873 You said I could have this. What the fuck? 168 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,842 I'm sorry, Russ. 169 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,646 - Hey, Skip. Hi. - [Skip] Lew. 170 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,517 I borrowed eight grand from a guy named, no joke, 171 00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:06,820 Shady "The Kneecapper" McGee. 172 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,522 If this Felix kid is any good, we're screwed! 173 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:11,157 [Russ] Hey, settle down, alright? 174 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,559 Let me see what's what. 175 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,370 Hey. Welcome to the club. 176 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,406 Oh, my God, "Rocket" Russ Waddell! 177 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,308 Oh, my God, man, it's really you. 178 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,509 You know who I am? 179 00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,478 Yeah, of course, man. 180 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,381 Actually, when I was a kid, my brother and I, 181 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:35,815 we tried buying up all your rookie cards. 182 00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,952 [chuckles] You know, 100-mile-an-hour fastball, 183 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:39,586 crazy movement. 184 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,222 We thought you were going to be like the next Roger Clemens. 185 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,157 Yeah. Well, time gets us all. 186 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,559 - What's that? - Oh, this? 187 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:49,129 Yeah, it's actually pretty cool. 188 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,363 So it's a barometer. 189 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,198 My curves usually borderline 190 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,299 in most altitudes, right? 191 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,601 But with the lower elevation here, 192 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,136 I feel like I can get a good break going. 193 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,504 Okay, that's one approach. 194 00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:58,805 Yeah, for sure. 195 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,273 - You want a dip? - Nope. 196 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,708 Sorry, I... 197 00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,811 got my own. [chuckles] 198 00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:05,712 Yeah. 199 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,580 Yeah, anyway, I always like to scout 200 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,449 the ballpark before I pitch. 201 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,451 Wind conditions, field conditions. 202 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,986 There's always something I can use. 203 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:13,987 You know that. 204 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,757 Honor to meet you, but I should warm up 205 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,192 if I'm gonna stop this losing streak. 206 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,161 [chuckles] 207 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,429 You're a fuckin' legend. 208 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,863 - I just... - Okay. 209 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,199 - Alright, good luck out there. - [Felix] Thank you, man. 210 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,868 - So? - Well, I don't think he's much, 211 00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,970 but still, we can't leave this to chance. 212 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,773 I say we jump the bastard right now, go for the elbow. 213 00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:35,575 [Russ] We don't need to hurt the kid, okay? 214 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,210 Just get him out of the game. 215 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,578 [Petey whistles] 216 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,146 Hey, go get 'em, Petey! 217 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,748 That's it. 218 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,518 Hey, don't worry, I got an idea. 219 00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,986 I'll see you on the field. 220 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,623 If we're getting $3.1 million 221 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,392 and we're splitting it five ways, 222 00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,893 then 5% going to our front man, 223 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,496 how much money does that leave me exactly? 224 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,931 I hate this type of math, dude. 225 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,866 We'll take care of it afterwards, alright? 226 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,601 Right now, I just need you to keep your head in the game 227 00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,870 so we can lose it, okay? 228 00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:04,738 Okay? 229 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,639 Let's get asses kicked, huh? 230 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,009 [* cheery organ music playing] 231 00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:14,814 I've been noticing a slight numbness in my right arm, 232 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,549 and I'm wondering if it's related to all 233 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:18,785 the Velvety Canned Cheese I've been eating. 234 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,854 Is anyone else experiencing this? 235 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,124 If so, please come see me in the announcer booth. 236 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:27,327 Taking the mound for the first time with the 'Mongers 237 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,529 is Felix Domingo, 238 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,798 just promoted from rookie ball. 239 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,733 Let's see if he can snap the team 240 00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:37,170 out of its incredibly dispiriting historic skid. 241 00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:40,206 [crowd cheering] 242 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,474 There you are. 243 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,176 What'd you do? 244 00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,513 Scored some acid from one of the hippie vendor dudes, 245 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,281 spiked the kid's gum. 246 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,849 It should kick in any minute. 247 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,053 You Dock Ellis'd him? 248 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,121 I what? 249 00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:58,158 Dock Ellis, Pittsburgh Pirates, 1970. 250 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,393 He dropped acid 'cause he thought it was his day off, 251 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,228 but then he had to pitch. 252 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,196 Yeah. [chuckles] 253 00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,398 I Dock Ellis'd the shit out of him. 254 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,334 [Russ] No, you dumbass. 255 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:08,935 Once the LSD kicked in, 256 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,904 his game went to a whole other level. 257 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,908 [* suspenseful, mystical music playing] 258 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,312 He threw a no-hitter. 259 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:24,284 - [umpire] Strike! - [crowd cheering] 260 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,856 Oh, shit. 261 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,458 [groans] 262 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,994 [* spiritual string music playing] 263 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,266 - Strike! - [crowd cheering] 264 00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,208 [umpire] Strike! 265 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,178 Strike! 266 00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,054 Strike! You're out! 267 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:06,026 ♪ 268 00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,465 I seem to have stopped seeing the color green? 269 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,700 It's weird. 270 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,402 All the other colors are still present 271 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,770 in my field of vision, 272 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:17,937 but the grass, for instance, 273 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,674 has taken on a kind of gray pallor. 274 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,843 I have stopped eating the Velvety Canned Cheese. 275 00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,945 But if there is a medical doctor in attendance 276 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,748 and you'd be open to stopping by, 277 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,184 I don't think that'd be the worst idea. 278 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:33,987 Well, folks, we've got ourselves 279 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,656 an old-fashioned pitcher's duel. 280 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,958 Still zero-zero here in the ninth. 281 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:42,095 Can the unorthodox young Felix Domingo 282 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,532 continue his dominant debut performance? 283 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,267 Hey, pal. 284 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,702 - Bunt. - What? 285 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,170 And don't stop running. 286 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,237 Trust me. 287 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,174 I'm going to humble the new kid. 288 00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,182 [announcer] First pitch of the ninth underway. 289 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,052 And it's a bunt. 290 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,822 Dundee fields what should be an easy out 291 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,224 and... throws it into the outfield? 292 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,359 Come on, Carl. 293 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:14,994 [announcer] Sandberg trips 294 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,864 and throws the ball into the ground. 295 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,269 Jackson picks up the ball-- no, he muffs it. 296 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:26,072 - Safe! - [Creeley] Ah! 297 00:13:26,172 --> 00:13:27,273 Oh, shit! 298 00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,909 - Ah. - Dammit! 299 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,479 [crowd boos] 300 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,080 Shit! 301 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,251 - Damn it! - Play better! 302 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,920 Yes. Yes. Yes. 303 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,757 {\an8}It's a solemn scene at Velvety Canned Cheese Park 304 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,458 {\an8}as our beloved Cheesemongers are now 305 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:49,129 {\an8}officially the biggest losers in minor league history. 306 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:52,332 {\an8}Truly, there is no joy in Mudville tonight. 307 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,167 {\an8}[* "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen playing] 308 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,536 [players] We're the worst! We're the worst! 309 00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:59,205 We suck! We suck! We suck! 310 00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:01,374 [group cheering] 311 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:05,712 ♪ I had a friend was a big baseball player ♪ 312 00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,415 ♪ Back in high school ♪ 313 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,184 ♪ He could throw that... ♪ 314 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,453 You got rid of the spiked gum, right? 315 00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:17,257 Shit. 316 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,360 [* pensive music playing] 317 00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,037 Come on. 318 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,972 Come on. 319 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,909 Shit. 320 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,145 Shit. 321 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,716 [door opens] 322 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:45,485 Oh. Felix, hey. 323 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:47,687 I can't find my damn car keys. 324 00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:50,924 Hell of a game, kid. Sorry about that loss. 325 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,393 Is this what you used? 326 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,628 Used? 327 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,899 You and your buddies, you tried to spike my gum 328 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,334 to get me out of the game? 329 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,737 What? Why would we do that? 330 00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:05,739 Because you wanted to throw it. 331 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:09,175 We're like the worst team in minor league history. 332 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,777 Even if we were going to throw the game, 333 00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,379 how would you even tell? 334 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,781 Because your buddy, Carl, 335 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,219 tried doing a little math in my notebook between innings 336 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,621 trying to figure out how to split up 337 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,425 $3,136,018 338 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,994 five ways. 339 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,930 You're in it. He broke down your names. 340 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,633 Goddammit, Carl, shit! 341 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,835 And he got the math wrong. [laughs] 342 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,804 Okay, w-we can make this right. 343 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,406 Wh-what's it going to take? 344 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,210 Out on the mound today, I-I went to some place, 345 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,414 a place I've only dreamed of, 346 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,450 where-where God's face 347 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:53,887 speaks from the crystalline waters 348 00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:58,158 and his angels manifest in monkey form. 349 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,328 What the hell are you talking about, Felix? 350 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,798 I'm done with baseball. 351 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,201 Yeah, I wanna move to Belize... 352 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,470 and find God 353 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,340 and take drugs... 354 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,879 after you give me the $3 million 355 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,581 you won on today's game. 356 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,351 Oh, come on, man! 357 00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,252 That's our life savings you're talking about. 358 00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,954 Some of these guys got families. 359 00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:30,056 Look, why don't we give you half? 360 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,959 You could go to Belize and we'll call it a day. 361 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,929 Either you give me 362 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,799 the entire three million to keep me quiet, 363 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,869 or I bring the evidence to the cops 364 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,571 and you lose it all anyway. 365 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,574 [Felix laughs] 366 00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,276 "Rocket" Russ! 367 00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:51,411 Shit! 368 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,614 You done? 369 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:56,449 Yeah, yeah, I guess I am. 370 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,121 [Felix] Smack. 371 00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,956 I'll give you instructions 372 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,257 on how to wire me the money tomorrow. 373 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,527 Once it's in my account, I'll give you the evidence. 374 00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:11,464 Alright? Oh, and Russ, you were so right. 375 00:17:11,765 --> 00:17:13,667 Time gets us all. 376 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:16,836 But you had all the time and the talent 377 00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:18,471 as any of the greats. 378 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,173 You just blew it. 379 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,009 Jesus, man, look at you. 380 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,413 I don't even know how you live with yourself. 381 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,449 [* ominous music playing] 382 00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,352 [ball thuds] 383 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,291 [machine beeps] 384 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,662 Oh, my God. 385 00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,898 My fastball, I got it! 386 00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,299 I still got... 387 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,468 Oh, shit. 388 00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,171 Hey. 389 00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,073 Hey. 390 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,376 [* ominous music playing] 391 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,120 [keypad beeping] 392 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,672 [* suspenseful music playing] 393 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,496 [balls clattering] 394 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:59,472 [machine clanking] 395 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,753 [* gentle music playing] 396 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,356 [machine whirs] 397 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,665 Heyo! 398 00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,809 [machine whirring, creaking] 399 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,644 A-Ha! 400 00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:46,786 Hmm. 401 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,861 [whirring, creaking stops] 402 00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,696 Hmm. 403 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,868 [machine beeps] 404 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,270 [sighs] 405 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,279 - [machine beeps] - Alright, uh, 406 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,981 now I'm like emotionally invested in this shit. 407 00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,016 Come on. 408 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,651 [Good Buddy] [on radio] Yeah, I still don't get it. 409 00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:19,719 What's your job? 410 00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,121 I wanna say, uh, 411 00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:23,923 administrative assistant or something. 412 00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,893 Error 10, category network error. 413 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:28,261 Yeah, I already knew that. 414 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,429 [Good Buddy] And why does that appeal? 415 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,331 Well, I told you that I binge watched 416 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,766 "The Office" last month, right? 417 00:20:32,866 --> 00:20:33,767 [Good Buddy] Oh, no. 418 00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,969 The road was getting lonely and I figured, 419 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,570 ah, community, 420 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,140 same people every day, entertaining dynamics. 421 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,574 I should try office life. 422 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,576 - Dumb, right? - [Good Buddy] Ah, I get it. 423 00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,146 Sometimes we need an inspirational smack. 424 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,114 Hmm. So I guess this company, 425 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,416 they, they all started working remotely 426 00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,117 during COVID and they never came back, 427 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:53,286 and they need, uh, one person in the office 428 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,421 so it's not technically vacant, 429 00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,956 you know, for insurance purposes. 430 00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:59,225 This was a dumb idea. I should quit. 431 00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:00,360 [Good Buddy] My experience, 432 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,395 it's the smack after the smack 433 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,930 that you gotta watch for. 434 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,131 Hmm. 435 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:06,966 I'm not fully sure what that means, man. 436 00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,401 I... 437 00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,870 A-ha! 438 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,605 [buttons beep] 439 00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:15,141 [machine whirs] 440 00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,677 [machine powers down] 441 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,748 [sighs] 442 00:21:24,317 --> 00:21:25,952 - [machine whirs] - [Charlie] Ha! 443 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:27,387 Smack. 444 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,357 - [glass shatters] - [Charlie thuds] 445 00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:39,499 [birds chirping] 446 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,805 This is yours, I think, right? 447 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:46,906 Thank you. 448 00:21:47,007 --> 00:21:48,341 I just have to ask, 449 00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:50,543 what is your general philosophy 450 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:53,913 regarding litigation and such? 451 00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:55,515 Look, uh, [chuckles] 452 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,083 looking around, I can see this isn't really, 453 00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,451 you know, the major leagues. 454 00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,353 And anyway, by nature, 455 00:22:00,453 --> 00:22:03,790 I gotta say I'm a lover, not a suer. 456 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,192 I'm so glad. I have to tell you something. 457 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:09,262 We are barely keeping the lights on as it is. 458 00:22:10,030 --> 00:22:12,932 I think this team is very important to this town. 459 00:22:13,033 --> 00:22:15,502 Gives us a sense of community, you know? 460 00:22:15,902 --> 00:22:18,471 It's a place for people to come every day, 461 00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:22,008 same people but interesting dynamics. 462 00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,543 No shit. 463 00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:26,446 - Second smack, wow. - [Lucille chuckles] 464 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,816 Okay, uh, crazy question. 465 00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,219 - Hey! [laughs] - [Lucille] You were born 466 00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:34,621 to wear that uniform! 467 00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:35,622 - Yeah? - [Lucille] Yes! 468 00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:38,058 Okay, so, uh, how does this work? 469 00:22:38,158 --> 00:22:39,626 Oh, hey, batter, batter, batter, 470 00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:41,294 batter, batter, batter, batter, batter, batter. 471 00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:43,797 No, don't do that. 472 00:22:44,064 --> 00:22:45,031 Come here, walk with me. 473 00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,300 As a ball girl, what you're going to do, honey, 474 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,302 is you're going to field foul balls, 475 00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,104 and you're going to interact with the fans, 476 00:22:51,204 --> 00:22:52,439 which can really be fun. 477 00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:53,840 And then before the game, 478 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,742 you just pitch in wherever you're needed, 479 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:59,279 operating the pitching machine, shagging balls. 480 00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:00,714 - Do explain that one. - Simple. 481 00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:02,982 You just pick up the loose baseballs 482 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:03,817 during batting practice. 483 00:23:03,917 --> 00:23:05,285 - Okay. I can do it. - [Lucille] Yeah. 484 00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:06,953 - Okay? - Yeah, yeah. 485 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:07,754 I'm going to introduce you 486 00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,823 to the oldest member of our family. 487 00:23:09,923 --> 00:23:11,391 His name is Rambo. 488 00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,460 And I should have retired him years ago, 489 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,396 but I don't have the funds to get a new one. 490 00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,131 I'll show you how it works. 491 00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,332 You flip this switch. 492 00:23:19,432 --> 00:23:21,601 [machine rattling] 493 00:23:21,701 --> 00:23:24,804 Oh, I should tell you, you gotta be real careful 494 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:28,441 because every couple balls, he just starts shooting wild 495 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,610 and he could hit anything in sight. 496 00:23:31,378 --> 00:23:32,846 - Uh, you see? - Yeah. 497 00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:36,082 Wow. Uh, so what do you do when that happens? 498 00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,318 Just, look, smack! Ah! 499 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,554 [* cheery organ music playing] 500 00:23:45,425 --> 00:23:47,027 [fan] If you could sign my cheese? 501 00:23:50,497 --> 00:23:52,332 [Charlie] Uh, hey. 502 00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:54,668 Who's Mr. Baseball over there? 503 00:23:55,135 --> 00:23:56,369 "Rocket" Russ Waddell, 504 00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:59,539 greatest athlete this town's ever produced, 505 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:02,909 former first round draft pick and top prospect, 506 00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:05,478 one of only three Montgomery citizens 507 00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,614 to get their own Wikipedia entry. 508 00:24:07,714 --> 00:24:09,516 I'll bite. Who are the other two? 509 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,384 [Benny] Hiram Lubinski, the inventor 510 00:24:11,484 --> 00:24:13,520 of Velvety Canned Cheese Substitute Spread, 511 00:24:13,620 --> 00:24:17,724 and my cousin Jamie, who co-founded WikiKnees. 512 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,659 I mingle with royalty. 513 00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:21,227 - [Benny chuckles] - So, uh... 514 00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:23,329 what is mister hotshot Rocket 515 00:24:23,430 --> 00:24:24,931 doing here in the minors? 516 00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:28,702 Russ lost his fastball a few years ago. 517 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,570 No one knows why. 518 00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:33,707 Injury, bad luck, family curse. 519 00:24:33,807 --> 00:24:35,542 It was a classic case of the yips and you know it. 520 00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:37,544 - Ugh. - I'm sorry, yips? 521 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:38,545 Russ got in his own head 522 00:24:38,645 --> 00:24:40,447 and messed with his whole approach. 523 00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:42,849 We tried every cure in the book to fix it. 524 00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:47,787 Body waxing, ritual tugging, slutty Babe Ruth. 525 00:24:48,421 --> 00:24:50,090 None of it worked. 526 00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:51,424 But I got a feeling 527 00:24:51,524 --> 00:24:53,193 that today's going to be the day. 528 00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:56,629 Finally going to get the old Rocket back. 529 00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,598 [crowd cheers] 530 00:25:01,368 --> 00:25:03,937 - [ball clangs] - [crowd] Oh! 531 00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,939 [Benny] Shake it off, Rocket! 532 00:25:06,039 --> 00:25:07,574 You still got it! 533 00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:10,577 Oh, sadly bullshit. 534 00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,151 Another pitcher, Frank. 535 00:25:21,054 --> 00:25:22,589 Hi. Uh... 536 00:25:22,689 --> 00:25:24,791 Oh, I'm Charlie, the new ball girl. 537 00:25:24,891 --> 00:25:26,559 Don't think we've met. 538 00:25:26,659 --> 00:25:28,261 I'm Russ, the washed-up old timer. 539 00:25:28,361 --> 00:25:29,863 Oh, come on. 540 00:25:30,497 --> 00:25:33,233 Hey, sorry about the, uh, the game. 541 00:25:33,333 --> 00:25:34,601 It's a tough loss. 542 00:25:34,701 --> 00:25:36,536 You think I'd get used to it by now. 543 00:25:36,636 --> 00:25:38,538 Hey, it's just a game. 544 00:25:38,638 --> 00:25:40,040 Shake it off, right? 545 00:25:40,807 --> 00:25:42,008 That sounded off. 546 00:25:42,409 --> 00:25:45,712 You're going to tell me it's not just a game, right? 547 00:25:45,812 --> 00:25:47,781 No, you're right, it's just a game, 548 00:25:47,881 --> 00:25:50,884 but it's the only thing I've ever had a gift for. 549 00:25:51,351 --> 00:25:54,154 And when you're given a gift in life, even a strange one 550 00:25:54,254 --> 00:25:57,390 like throwing a little ball swiftly past a man with a stick, 551 00:25:58,058 --> 00:26:00,393 when you get a taste of puttin' it to use... 552 00:26:00,493 --> 00:26:01,728 [clicks tongue] 553 00:26:01,828 --> 00:26:03,563 Been years since I even touched 90, 554 00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:05,498 let alone triple digits. 555 00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:07,667 Actually, as somebody with, uh, 556 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,669 well, strange gifts myself, I relate. 557 00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:11,538 But isn't there something you can do, 558 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:13,940 like a robo arm, surgery or something? 559 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,775 Physically speaking, I'm fine. 560 00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,811 It's all in my damn head. 561 00:26:17,911 --> 00:26:19,612 At least I don't have to worry about that anymore. 562 00:26:19,713 --> 00:26:21,381 Oh, yeah? Why is that? 563 00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:23,283 Skip said I got one more start. 564 00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:24,984 I'm done. 565 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,353 No shit. 566 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,522 Rocket, here's, uh, to going out with a bang, huh? 567 00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:31,257 It's Russ, please. And thanks. 568 00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:34,494 - Until we meet again. - Okay, until we meet again. 569 00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:35,929 Cheers cheers. 570 00:26:38,064 --> 00:26:40,700 - Oh, so that's it, huh? - Yep. 571 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,335 They're giving me one more start, 572 00:26:42,435 --> 00:26:43,970 then off to the pasture. 573 00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:46,206 [crowd cheering] 574 00:26:47,507 --> 00:26:48,775 Oh. 575 00:26:48,875 --> 00:26:50,210 Deputy ball girl, that's you! 576 00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:53,046 [announcer] We've got ourselves an old-fashioned pitcher's duel. 577 00:26:53,146 --> 00:26:53,947 Go, go! 578 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:55,515 [announcer] Can the unorthodox 579 00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:57,117 young Felix Domingo continue... 580 00:26:57,217 --> 00:27:00,020 Ah, look it, she's running, she's running! 581 00:27:00,487 --> 00:27:02,355 Bang-up job, deputy. 582 00:27:02,455 --> 00:27:04,090 [* bright music playing] 583 00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,291 Ah. 584 00:27:05,992 --> 00:27:08,428 Charlie Cale, I do believe you found yourself 585 00:27:08,528 --> 00:27:10,063 a rewarding career. 586 00:27:13,667 --> 00:27:15,969 [chuckles] I'll do it. 587 00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:20,874 [Charlie groans] 588 00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:26,880 Oh. 589 00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:28,715 Hey, hey. 590 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,517 Hey, that was a heck of a first game. 591 00:27:30,617 --> 00:27:33,286 I, uh, like your style, kid. 592 00:27:35,055 --> 00:27:36,990 Did you know that God is a verb? 593 00:27:37,824 --> 00:27:39,592 I did not know that. 594 00:27:39,693 --> 00:27:40,760 Oh... 595 00:27:41,194 --> 00:27:43,263 How about some water or something? 596 00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,765 God. [chuckles] 597 00:27:45,865 --> 00:27:47,300 God isn't God. 598 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:48,735 No, you know, like, not, 599 00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,870 not like the way that we were taught. 600 00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:55,175 See, God is the music of the spheres, 601 00:27:55,642 --> 00:27:58,812 the symphonic echo of radical love 602 00:27:58,912 --> 00:28:00,513 between all living things. 603 00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:03,383 [Charlie] Oh, boy. Hey, uh, would you mind? 604 00:28:05,585 --> 00:28:06,753 Hmm. 605 00:28:08,555 --> 00:28:09,622 Oh. [snaps fingers] 606 00:28:09,723 --> 00:28:12,058 You know what I should do is get your autograph 607 00:28:12,158 --> 00:28:13,927 'cause the way you were throwing out there today, 608 00:28:14,027 --> 00:28:16,463 oh, boy, yeah, you're headed for the big leagues. 609 00:28:16,563 --> 00:28:18,965 [chuckles] I'm quitting the game. 610 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:20,567 - Huh? - [Felix chuckles] 611 00:28:20,667 --> 00:28:22,902 Because none of this matters. 612 00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:27,807 You know, like who wins, who loses, you see, God... 613 00:28:28,942 --> 00:28:31,011 and the monkeys matter. 614 00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,114 Hmm. 615 00:28:34,848 --> 00:28:36,549 I really think you should drink some of that. 616 00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:37,650 Huh? 617 00:28:38,218 --> 00:28:39,953 Hey, you have a retirement fund 618 00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:42,689 or a side hustle, crypto trading or something? 619 00:28:42,789 --> 00:28:44,657 Well, money, eh. 620 00:28:45,325 --> 00:28:46,693 [Charlie] Don't overthink it. 621 00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:49,396 When inspiration smacks, listen. 622 00:28:49,696 --> 00:28:52,198 Yeah. Smack. Inspiration. 623 00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:53,967 Although they do say that it's actually 624 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:57,103 the, uh, the second smack that gets you, so... 625 00:28:57,203 --> 00:28:58,438 [Felix chuckles] 626 00:28:58,772 --> 00:28:59,539 What's that mean? 627 00:28:59,639 --> 00:29:01,941 I have no idea but, uh, hydrate. 628 00:29:02,442 --> 00:29:05,779 Thank you, ball girl, for sharing your wisdom. 629 00:29:05,879 --> 00:29:07,080 Yes, of course, anytime. 630 00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:09,215 And, uh, well, good luck coming down 631 00:29:09,315 --> 00:29:10,950 off whatever you're coming down from. 632 00:29:11,551 --> 00:29:13,019 On? 633 00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:14,287 No, I don't take anything. 634 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:17,323 Me neither... officer. 635 00:29:17,424 --> 00:29:18,825 Okay, Godspeed. 636 00:29:22,495 --> 00:29:23,830 Godspeed. 637 00:29:24,798 --> 00:29:26,099 Godspeed. 638 00:29:27,100 --> 00:29:30,170 [* ominous music playing] 639 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,078 [cart rattling] 640 00:29:51,491 --> 00:29:52,659 [voice] [muffled] Yum. 641 00:29:52,759 --> 00:29:53,727 Yum. 642 00:29:53,827 --> 00:29:54,694 Yum 643 00:29:54,794 --> 00:29:56,496 [* suspenseful music playing] 644 00:29:56,830 --> 00:29:57,997 Yum. 645 00:29:58,631 --> 00:29:59,766 Yum. 646 00:29:59,866 --> 00:30:01,101 Yum! 647 00:30:01,935 --> 00:30:03,103 [louder] Yum. 648 00:30:03,203 --> 00:30:04,637 Yum. 649 00:30:04,738 --> 00:30:07,407 {\an8}Yum. Yum. Yum 650 00:30:07,841 --> 00:30:08,875 {\an8}Yum. 651 00:30:09,175 --> 00:30:10,610 - Yum. - [Charlie laughs] 652 00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:11,845 Yum. 653 00:30:11,945 --> 00:30:13,413 Ah, I don't think so. 654 00:30:13,513 --> 00:30:16,016 {\an8}- [* mystical music playing] - Yum, yum, yum! 655 00:30:17,517 --> 00:30:20,053 [sock continues, muffled] 656 00:30:20,153 --> 00:30:22,088 ♪ 657 00:30:34,934 --> 00:30:36,970 [creature jabbering] 658 00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:38,571 - [thud] - Ah! 659 00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:42,976 [man] Charlie Cale... 660 00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:45,111 [distorted] Charlie Cale... 661 00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:47,080 [echoing] the wanderer... 662 00:30:49,749 --> 00:30:53,386 It's up to you to save this ballpark, 663 00:30:53,486 --> 00:30:55,922 to save this team. 664 00:30:57,323 --> 00:30:58,491 It is? 665 00:31:00,493 --> 00:31:01,394 Why? 666 00:31:01,494 --> 00:31:05,231 Because baseball... is not just a game. 667 00:31:06,399 --> 00:31:09,569 It is the secret of the spheres. 668 00:31:10,403 --> 00:31:13,239 [whooshing] 669 00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:15,975 Are you... 670 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:18,478 God? 671 00:31:19,245 --> 00:31:20,580 I... 672 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,682 am Hiram Lubinski, 673 00:31:22,782 --> 00:31:27,120 the inventor of Velvety Canned Cheese Substitute Spread, 674 00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:30,957 now available in jalapeno and spicy seafood flavors. 675 00:31:32,092 --> 00:31:34,027 Oh, I get it. 676 00:31:34,127 --> 00:31:36,863 Ah, the mascot is you. 677 00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:38,865 I'm the founder of this ballpark 678 00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:41,201 as well as its spiritual guardian. 679 00:31:41,301 --> 00:31:42,235 Cool. 680 00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:45,405 [Hiram] Baseball is not just a pastime. 681 00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:48,341 {\an8}It is the passing of time itself. 682 00:31:48,942 --> 00:31:51,378 Tell me, wanderer, is it any coincidence 683 00:31:51,478 --> 00:31:57,083 that the goal of every hitter is to return safely to home? 684 00:31:57,417 --> 00:31:58,651 Huh. 685 00:32:00,353 --> 00:32:01,187 Wow. 686 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,957 This ballpark is home. 687 00:32:04,791 --> 00:32:07,560 Without it, the people of Montgomery would be lost... 688 00:32:08,294 --> 00:32:11,164 and my granddaughter, Lucille... 689 00:32:11,731 --> 00:32:13,466 would be bereft 690 00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,602 with no community, 691 00:32:15,702 --> 00:32:17,637 without any sense of belonging. 692 00:32:18,071 --> 00:32:20,240 Do you know what that is like, Charlie? 693 00:32:20,340 --> 00:32:21,541 Yes. 694 00:32:22,175 --> 00:32:24,844 Yes, I... I, I do. 695 00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:26,546 - [Hiram] Then help us. - Okay. 696 00:32:26,646 --> 00:32:29,082 Protect this ballpark 697 00:32:29,182 --> 00:32:31,918 and save this team! 698 00:32:32,018 --> 00:32:33,987 But from what? 699 00:32:34,087 --> 00:32:36,089 Mm, from who? 700 00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:37,590 Come home, wanderer. 701 00:32:38,658 --> 00:32:42,128 Every soul seeks to be safe 702 00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:44,264 at home. 703 00:32:44,364 --> 00:32:47,600 [dramatic music swells, stops] 704 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,250 [Charlie groans] 705 00:33:08,455 --> 00:33:09,589 Oh, Charlie? 706 00:33:09,689 --> 00:33:12,726 Wow, my kingdom for some electrolytes. 707 00:33:12,826 --> 00:33:14,227 [Lucille] Charlie, Charlie! 708 00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:18,665 What in the world happened last night? 709 00:33:23,169 --> 00:33:24,704 [machine powers down] 710 00:33:28,041 --> 00:33:29,476 [Charlie] Oh, my God, what happened? 711 00:33:29,576 --> 00:33:31,678 Uh, the new guy stayed late last night 712 00:33:31,778 --> 00:33:33,880 to take some extra BP. 713 00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:35,382 He tried using Rambo. 714 00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:39,753 He got hit in the back of the head with a fastball. 715 00:33:40,387 --> 00:33:42,989 Uh, I knew I should have had that machine replaced. 716 00:33:43,089 --> 00:33:43,923 I knew that. 717 00:33:44,024 --> 00:33:45,759 I found him this morning. 718 00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:48,261 So Rambo... 719 00:33:49,229 --> 00:33:50,230 killed Felix? 720 00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:52,098 Well, it looks that way. 721 00:33:52,198 --> 00:33:54,467 Lucille, I hate to bring it up, but... 722 00:33:54,567 --> 00:33:56,736 - What? - You could be looking 723 00:33:56,836 --> 00:33:59,005 at a wrongful death lawsuit. 724 00:33:59,606 --> 00:34:01,441 - A big one. - [Lucille] Well, that'll be it. 725 00:34:01,541 --> 00:34:04,511 We'd have to shut down the park, then move the team. 726 00:34:04,611 --> 00:34:06,513 It's the only family I got left. 727 00:34:06,613 --> 00:34:08,114 Oh, no, we're not going to let that happen. 728 00:34:08,214 --> 00:34:11,584 Uh, everybody knew the machine was faulty. 729 00:34:11,685 --> 00:34:13,787 It is my fault. 730 00:34:14,954 --> 00:34:17,991 Hey, so, hypothetically speaking, 731 00:34:18,091 --> 00:34:19,993 if, uh, Felix, we know he was a good kid, 732 00:34:20,093 --> 00:34:23,129 but if Felix here was, uh, high 733 00:34:23,229 --> 00:34:25,031 while he was using the equipment, 734 00:34:25,131 --> 00:34:28,001 would that alleviate some of this liability? 735 00:34:28,101 --> 00:34:30,503 - Well, I guess it... - [Benny] Yeah. 736 00:34:30,603 --> 00:34:32,472 ...it would. Why? 737 00:34:33,106 --> 00:34:36,509 Well, I, uh, I think his gum was laced. 738 00:34:36,609 --> 00:34:41,014 Well, if he was on drugs, it's easy enough to check. 739 00:34:41,114 --> 00:34:41,981 It is? 740 00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:44,384 Yeah, a simple reagent test. 741 00:34:44,484 --> 00:34:45,518 Oh. 742 00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:47,620 Retired cop. 743 00:34:47,721 --> 00:34:50,557 Okay. Uh, well, hmm. 744 00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:52,459 Okay, terrific. 745 00:35:00,066 --> 00:35:02,435 Negative, no sign of drugs. 746 00:35:02,535 --> 00:35:03,570 Wait, what? 747 00:35:03,670 --> 00:35:05,538 Oh, gosh, man. I know I was tripping so hard. 748 00:35:05,638 --> 00:35:07,340 And we all saw Felix on that mound. 749 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,409 He was like a guy at a Phish concert at the Sphere. 750 00:35:09,509 --> 00:35:11,211 I mean, come on, he was tripping. 751 00:35:11,311 --> 00:35:13,179 - Geez. - Honey. 752 00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:14,414 [Charlie] What? 753 00:35:14,514 --> 00:35:16,416 [Lucille] Appreciate your concern, 754 00:35:16,516 --> 00:35:17,917 but the last thing I wanna do 755 00:35:18,018 --> 00:35:20,487 is sully this kid's reputation. 756 00:35:21,554 --> 00:35:23,757 I've done enough damage already. 757 00:35:24,057 --> 00:35:26,059 Lucille, this is not on you. 758 00:35:26,159 --> 00:35:27,427 We're going to figure this out, okay? 759 00:35:27,827 --> 00:35:29,929 I talked to Felix. He told me he was straight. 760 00:35:30,030 --> 00:35:32,599 He wasn't lying. Something is amiss. 761 00:35:32,699 --> 00:35:34,634 We'll have more on Felix Domingo 762 00:35:34,734 --> 00:35:35,969 as the story develops. 763 00:35:36,069 --> 00:35:38,304 - [knocking on door] - Skip. 764 00:35:38,405 --> 00:35:39,773 Hell of a start to the day. 765 00:35:39,873 --> 00:35:41,207 [TV shuts off] 766 00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:42,742 You need something? 767 00:35:42,842 --> 00:35:44,978 Yeah, I do, I sure do. 768 00:35:45,712 --> 00:35:48,415 So Felix in last night's game, 769 00:35:48,515 --> 00:35:50,817 uh, just a gut check, 770 00:35:50,917 --> 00:35:52,185 he look alright to you? 771 00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:53,453 He looked great. 772 00:35:53,553 --> 00:35:55,989 He was higher than a fly on Willie Nelson's wall. 773 00:35:56,089 --> 00:35:57,791 - Yeah. - But whatever it takes. 774 00:35:57,891 --> 00:35:59,993 I mean, I don't judge. 775 00:36:00,093 --> 00:36:02,128 I mean, I'm working on not judging. 776 00:36:02,562 --> 00:36:04,197 Something I'm working on. 777 00:36:04,931 --> 00:36:07,100 [Deb Lux] [on TV] It's not all sad news today. 778 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,270 Some lucky citizen has won $3 million 779 00:36:10,370 --> 00:36:13,239 betting on last night's historic Cheesemonger loss. 780 00:36:13,340 --> 00:36:15,475 A five-game parlay at 22-to-one odds 781 00:36:15,575 --> 00:36:17,310 - was cashed in at a-- - Jesus. 782 00:36:17,711 --> 00:36:18,945 Sad, isn't it? 783 00:36:19,045 --> 00:36:20,280 Used to be fans actually rooted 784 00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,681 for the home team. 785 00:36:22,148 --> 00:36:24,317 Win or lose, we were all in it together. 786 00:36:25,018 --> 00:36:27,554 Now it's all about the odds and working the angles. 787 00:36:28,621 --> 00:36:30,623 Getting rich by expecting the worst. 788 00:36:34,894 --> 00:36:36,162 [Charlie] Beep beep. 789 00:36:36,262 --> 00:36:37,297 Huh. 790 00:36:37,397 --> 00:36:39,532 Uh, hiya, Carl. 791 00:36:39,899 --> 00:36:41,601 Can I ask you a question? 792 00:36:41,701 --> 00:36:42,869 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - [Charlie] Uh, 793 00:36:42,969 --> 00:36:46,773 do you know if anyone had a, uh, a grudge against Felix? 794 00:36:46,873 --> 00:36:50,110 'Cause, uh, I think someone spiked his gum. 795 00:36:50,577 --> 00:36:53,279 Why would anybody have it out for the new guy? [chuckles] 796 00:36:53,813 --> 00:36:55,181 Oh, wow! 797 00:36:55,482 --> 00:36:56,850 Super cool! Is that a... 798 00:36:57,283 --> 00:36:59,719 That's a no grill, huh? Is it solid gold? 799 00:36:59,819 --> 00:37:02,689 My aunt died and left me a real big inheritance. 800 00:37:02,789 --> 00:37:04,090 Yeah, bullshit. 801 00:37:04,657 --> 00:37:07,360 I won it playing trivia down at the, uh, pub. 802 00:37:07,460 --> 00:37:08,862 Obvious bullshit. I mean, I don't even need 803 00:37:08,962 --> 00:37:10,263 my special thing for that one. 804 00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:12,432 - Whoa. - What are you bothering me for? 805 00:37:12,532 --> 00:37:14,000 I'm just a ball player, 806 00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,935 a regular minor league ball player. 807 00:37:16,036 --> 00:37:17,303 Yeah, yeah, no. 808 00:37:17,404 --> 00:37:19,272 I, uh, I know you are. 809 00:37:22,809 --> 00:37:25,278 Nobody wanted the kid to get hurt, alright? 810 00:37:26,646 --> 00:37:28,181 [clicks tongue] Right, obviously. 811 00:37:28,281 --> 00:37:31,017 Yeah, no, obviously not. It's just, uh... 812 00:37:32,519 --> 00:37:33,853 y-you did, right? 813 00:37:33,953 --> 00:37:35,321 You-you spiked his gum. 814 00:37:35,922 --> 00:37:37,824 Just to get him out the game though, 815 00:37:37,924 --> 00:37:39,759 and then he went and fucked around with Rambo. 816 00:37:39,859 --> 00:37:42,462 And the whole thing was a freak accident. 817 00:37:42,562 --> 00:37:45,398 I mean, I-I feel bad about it, really. 818 00:37:46,433 --> 00:37:47,734 I believe you, I do. 819 00:37:47,834 --> 00:37:51,037 I-I just, um, I'm trying to square, you know... 820 00:37:51,137 --> 00:37:53,340 I mean, here's Felix, he's throwing a no hitter. 821 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,108 Why would you want him out the game? 822 00:37:55,709 --> 00:37:58,478 Strip club after the game, fellas! 823 00:37:58,578 --> 00:38:01,081 - [group] Hell yeah! - Drinks on your boy! 824 00:38:04,250 --> 00:38:06,052 What's good, ball girl? 825 00:38:08,288 --> 00:38:09,356 I see. 826 00:38:09,456 --> 00:38:11,224 They spiked the gum that killed Felix 827 00:38:11,324 --> 00:38:13,560 so that they could, uh, lose the game and win the bet. 828 00:38:13,660 --> 00:38:15,528 It's not like we're talking criminal masterminds here. 829 00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:17,764 All they gotta do is check these guys' bank accounts. 830 00:38:17,864 --> 00:38:19,432 Yeah, but you need a search warrant 831 00:38:19,532 --> 00:38:20,934 to check a bank account. 832 00:38:21,034 --> 00:38:23,970 Right now, there isn't enough evidence to get one. 833 00:38:24,270 --> 00:38:25,238 I-I-I don't understand. 834 00:38:25,338 --> 00:38:26,973 They're just going to let the ballpark close? 835 00:38:27,073 --> 00:38:28,108 That doesn't seem right. 836 00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:29,542 I mean, what about an autopsy? 837 00:38:29,642 --> 00:38:32,245 There's gotta be some kind of, uh, evidence 838 00:38:32,345 --> 00:38:35,448 what kind of drug it was that they put inside Felix's gum, no? 839 00:38:35,548 --> 00:38:38,351 Well, I asked my old partner to send me a copy of the report. 840 00:38:38,451 --> 00:38:39,919 It should be getting here any minute. 841 00:38:40,020 --> 00:38:41,588 - Hmm. - [phone chimes] 842 00:38:43,189 --> 00:38:45,825 Okay, here's the autopsy report. 843 00:38:45,925 --> 00:38:47,027 Let's see. 844 00:38:47,494 --> 00:38:52,198 Uh, yep, death by blunt force trauma. 845 00:38:52,565 --> 00:38:55,502 Let's see, did they even do a tox report? 846 00:38:56,036 --> 00:38:58,538 Hey, uh, could I take a look at that? 847 00:38:58,638 --> 00:39:00,306 Oh, sure, be my guest. 848 00:39:00,407 --> 00:39:01,574 Oh, thanks. 849 00:39:04,310 --> 00:39:07,180 I wanna save that ballpark too, you know? 850 00:39:07,547 --> 00:39:10,583 My old man used to take me there every weekend. 851 00:39:10,684 --> 00:39:13,219 There's nothing better than a Sunday double header 852 00:39:13,319 --> 00:39:15,055 with your pops. [chuckles] 853 00:39:15,922 --> 00:39:18,391 Well, I don't even really know what I'm looking at here, 854 00:39:18,491 --> 00:39:20,727 but I think it says here that the ball was going 855 00:39:20,827 --> 00:39:22,262 over a hundred miles an hour. 856 00:39:22,362 --> 00:39:23,263 What's that? 857 00:39:23,363 --> 00:39:25,131 The ball that killed Felix, 858 00:39:25,231 --> 00:39:27,133 according to this coroner's report, 859 00:39:27,233 --> 00:39:28,968 it looks like the skull fracture 860 00:39:29,069 --> 00:39:31,838 was caused by a ball 861 00:39:31,938 --> 00:39:35,175 that was over a hundred miles an hour. 862 00:39:35,275 --> 00:39:36,142 Wow. 863 00:39:36,609 --> 00:39:39,279 I didn't think Rambo had that kind of speed in him. 864 00:39:39,379 --> 00:39:41,114 Yeah, no shit, Benny. No shit. 865 00:39:41,214 --> 00:39:43,817 [machine rattling] 866 00:39:43,917 --> 00:39:45,185 Ah, shise. 867 00:39:45,285 --> 00:39:47,987 Come on, Rambo, you Cold War relic. 868 00:39:48,088 --> 00:39:49,489 You can do better than that. 869 00:39:50,090 --> 00:39:52,092 Concentrate, concentrate! 870 00:39:52,192 --> 00:39:53,526 Let 'er rip! 871 00:39:56,096 --> 00:39:58,098 - [Russ] Hey. - Oh! 872 00:39:58,198 --> 00:39:59,833 Benny said you wanted to talk. 873 00:39:59,933 --> 00:40:01,001 Yeah, hi, Russ. 874 00:40:01,101 --> 00:40:02,635 Quick question. 875 00:40:02,736 --> 00:40:04,204 Is there anyone on either team 876 00:40:04,304 --> 00:40:05,839 that can throw over a hundred? 877 00:40:05,939 --> 00:40:09,009 Nah, anyone throws that fast, they're not doing it here. 878 00:40:09,109 --> 00:40:10,777 That's a ticket to the show. 879 00:40:11,845 --> 00:40:14,014 Yeah, that's what I thought. 880 00:40:14,114 --> 00:40:15,281 Why you wanna know? 881 00:40:15,382 --> 00:40:16,449 It's just the coroner, you know, 882 00:40:16,549 --> 00:40:18,018 he had mentioned that the fastball 883 00:40:18,118 --> 00:40:19,486 that killed Felix, uh, 884 00:40:19,586 --> 00:40:21,688 well, it was going over a hundred at least. 885 00:40:21,788 --> 00:40:24,858 And, uh, well, we all know that Rambo here can't do that, 886 00:40:24,958 --> 00:40:27,127 and, and you can't either, so... 887 00:40:27,227 --> 00:40:28,395 Thanks a lot. 888 00:40:28,495 --> 00:40:29,562 No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. 889 00:40:29,662 --> 00:40:30,930 It's just, you know, the other day 890 00:40:31,031 --> 00:40:32,232 you had said that you lost your fastball 891 00:40:32,332 --> 00:40:35,335 and you hadn't been able to throw over 90 for years now. 892 00:40:35,435 --> 00:40:38,204 So, uh, you weren't lying. 893 00:40:38,638 --> 00:40:40,940 I don't know. I mean, all things considered, 894 00:40:41,041 --> 00:40:42,742 I figured you were the guy to ask. 895 00:40:42,842 --> 00:40:44,544 Uh, thinking to myself, 896 00:40:44,644 --> 00:40:46,579 I mean, what am I overlooking, you know? 897 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:49,349 Look, I gotta go home and get some shuteye, alright? 898 00:40:49,449 --> 00:40:50,917 I'm pitching my last game tomorrow. 899 00:40:51,017 --> 00:40:54,454 Hey, how about after the game, 900 00:40:54,554 --> 00:40:56,289 I buy you a round, 901 00:40:56,389 --> 00:40:58,124 celebrate your victory, huh? 902 00:40:58,925 --> 00:41:00,060 I'd like that. 903 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,162 I'm not counting on it, but I'd like it. 904 00:41:02,262 --> 00:41:03,897 Never say die. 905 00:41:04,497 --> 00:41:06,433 This is the end of the road for me. 906 00:41:06,833 --> 00:41:09,069 Like you said, my fastball's gone 907 00:41:09,169 --> 00:41:10,637 and it's not comin' back. 908 00:41:12,238 --> 00:41:13,606 Bullshit. 909 00:41:14,607 --> 00:41:16,142 I wish it was, Charlie. 910 00:41:16,543 --> 00:41:17,911 I wish it was. 911 00:41:18,011 --> 00:41:19,279 [chuckles] 912 00:41:23,850 --> 00:41:27,554 - [crowd cheers] - [* cheery organ music playing] 913 00:41:31,925 --> 00:41:33,793 I don't have to remind any of you 914 00:41:33,893 --> 00:41:36,629 that this is Russ's last game. 915 00:41:37,831 --> 00:41:42,268 It's probably our team's last game in this great park. 916 00:41:42,369 --> 00:41:45,972 So let's go out there and stop this losing streak! 917 00:41:46,072 --> 00:41:48,875 - [team claps] - [player] Yeah, yeah. 918 00:41:48,975 --> 00:41:50,210 [Skip] Let's win for Russ. 919 00:41:50,310 --> 00:41:52,545 Yeah! Let's fucking go, Rocket! 920 00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:54,614 For Felix. 921 00:41:56,282 --> 00:41:58,651 - For the Lubinski family. - [player] Yeah, that's right! 922 00:41:58,752 --> 00:42:00,620 And for these fans 923 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:03,690 who have suffered with us for all these goddamn years. 924 00:42:03,790 --> 00:42:05,458 - Yeah, right! - Yeah! 925 00:42:05,558 --> 00:42:06,659 [Skip] And while we're at it, 926 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:07,894 let's win one for 927 00:42:07,994 --> 00:42:09,829 good old-fashioned monogamy. 928 00:42:11,598 --> 00:42:12,766 Whoo! 929 00:42:13,533 --> 00:42:14,668 Yeah! 930 00:42:16,636 --> 00:42:18,872 - [exhales] - [Charlie] Hey, so what was it? 931 00:42:19,506 --> 00:42:21,541 - What was what? - Well, you know, 932 00:42:21,641 --> 00:42:24,010 what cleared your head and got you that, uh, 933 00:42:24,110 --> 00:42:25,245 your fastball back? 934 00:42:26,079 --> 00:42:26,913 [Russ] What? 935 00:42:27,013 --> 00:42:28,948 Well, uh, the other night at the pub, you know, 936 00:42:29,049 --> 00:42:31,317 you said that you lost your fastball and it was the truth. 937 00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:32,385 But then last night, you said 938 00:42:32,485 --> 00:42:33,620 the same thing, and it was a lie. 939 00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:35,422 So sometime in between, something happened 940 00:42:35,522 --> 00:42:39,192 that fixed that mental block and got you your fastball back. 941 00:42:39,292 --> 00:42:40,360 - What was it? - [Russ chuckles] 942 00:42:41,261 --> 00:42:42,962 Charlie, no offense, 943 00:42:43,063 --> 00:42:45,098 but you sound batshit crazy right now. 944 00:42:45,198 --> 00:42:47,167 Well, cards on the table, 945 00:42:47,267 --> 00:42:48,568 I know that you guys have been throwing 946 00:42:48,668 --> 00:42:50,737 these last few games, and I also know 947 00:42:50,837 --> 00:42:52,272 that you spiked Felix's gum. 948 00:42:52,372 --> 00:42:53,707 Your buddy Carl admitted it. 949 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:55,442 Jesus, Carl. 950 00:42:55,842 --> 00:42:58,945 Gotta say I didn't think you were involved. 951 00:42:59,045 --> 00:43:00,146 Nah, 'cause, you know, you didn't play 952 00:43:00,246 --> 00:43:02,248 during those last five losses that scored you 953 00:43:02,349 --> 00:43:05,885 the big payout, and also 'cause I liked you. 954 00:43:06,586 --> 00:43:09,022 But then, then I put it together. 955 00:43:09,122 --> 00:43:11,825 You were supposed to start that last game, not Felix. 956 00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:14,294 That's why the guys were trying to get him out 957 00:43:14,394 --> 00:43:16,029 and get you in. 958 00:43:16,129 --> 00:43:17,430 Alright, fine. 959 00:43:17,530 --> 00:43:19,332 We threw those last few games. So what? 960 00:43:19,432 --> 00:43:20,633 Have you seen our record? 961 00:43:20,734 --> 00:43:22,135 We were going to lose anyway. 962 00:43:22,235 --> 00:43:26,072 Gosh, cashing in on your own failure. 963 00:43:26,473 --> 00:43:28,508 That's where you ended up. 964 00:43:29,142 --> 00:43:32,712 So you're born with this one-in-a-million gift. 965 00:43:32,812 --> 00:43:34,080 And then, what? 966 00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:37,984 You throw it all away like a total fucking loser. 967 00:43:38,818 --> 00:43:39,986 [ball clinks] 968 00:43:41,988 --> 00:43:42,989 Aha. 969 00:43:43,556 --> 00:43:44,624 I see. 970 00:43:45,458 --> 00:43:48,762 So that's what Felix told you the night you murdered him, 971 00:43:48,862 --> 00:43:50,096 and that's what got you 972 00:43:50,196 --> 00:43:53,633 your 100-mile-per-hour fastball back. 973 00:43:53,733 --> 00:43:55,368 Hearing the truth. 974 00:43:55,468 --> 00:43:57,103 I'm about to go prove 975 00:43:57,203 --> 00:43:59,272 in front of a stadium full of people 976 00:43:59,372 --> 00:44:02,575 that I'm all washed up with nothing left in this arm, 977 00:44:02,676 --> 00:44:04,244 so you got nothing, ball girl. 978 00:44:04,344 --> 00:44:06,913 Why don't you go sit your nosy ass down 979 00:44:07,347 --> 00:44:08,948 and enjoy our final loss? 980 00:44:09,049 --> 00:44:10,250 Yeah. 981 00:44:10,750 --> 00:44:14,154 Oh, uh, before I forget, there's this, uh, 982 00:44:14,521 --> 00:44:16,956 a big league scout in the stands. 983 00:44:17,057 --> 00:44:19,426 [laughs] Bullshit. Pathetic. 984 00:44:19,526 --> 00:44:21,261 Alright, alright alright... 985 00:44:21,895 --> 00:44:23,963 Why would a scout be at a Cheesemongers game? 986 00:44:24,064 --> 00:44:27,534 Skip said something about an open roster slot 987 00:44:27,634 --> 00:44:29,135 and needing some bullpen heat 988 00:44:29,235 --> 00:44:31,037 there in the show, whatever that means. 989 00:44:31,137 --> 00:44:33,473 Anyway, I probably shouldn't have said anything. 990 00:44:33,573 --> 00:44:35,308 I don't wanna get in your head. 991 00:44:36,509 --> 00:44:39,312 [* ominous music playing] 992 00:44:48,254 --> 00:44:50,090 [announcer] [on loudspeaker]: Your starting pitcher... 993 00:44:50,190 --> 00:44:51,925 [voice echoing] 994 00:44:52,759 --> 00:44:54,928 [announcer] For the very last time... 995 00:44:55,929 --> 00:44:58,198 our hometown hero... 996 00:44:58,298 --> 00:44:59,566 [crowd cheering] 997 00:44:59,666 --> 00:45:02,669 "Rocket" Russ Waddell! 998 00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:06,106 [* organ playing cheery tune] 999 00:45:07,674 --> 00:45:10,377 [cheering continues] 1000 00:45:11,311 --> 00:45:13,446 [announcer] "Rocket" Russ Waddell readies 1001 00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:15,315 for his first pitch. 1002 00:45:16,049 --> 00:45:18,985 The entire ballpark is on the edge of their seats 1003 00:45:19,686 --> 00:45:24,157 hoping for one more flash of that classic Rocket heat. 1004 00:45:24,257 --> 00:45:26,426 [crowd cheering] 1005 00:45:36,403 --> 00:45:38,938 [* ominous music playing] 1006 00:45:43,043 --> 00:45:46,846 Hey, batter, batter, batter, batter, batter, batter, batter! 1007 00:45:56,556 --> 00:45:58,992 [crowd cheers] 1008 00:46:04,497 --> 00:46:06,666 [Charlie] Alright, everybody up, let's go! 1009 00:46:06,766 --> 00:46:08,902 - Rocket! - [crowd] Rocket! 1010 00:46:09,002 --> 00:46:10,970 Rocket! Rocket! 1011 00:46:11,071 --> 00:46:12,772 Rocket! Rocket! 1012 00:46:12,872 --> 00:46:14,474 Rocket! Rocket! 1013 00:46:14,574 --> 00:46:16,509 Rocket! Rocket! 1014 00:46:16,609 --> 00:46:18,244 Rocket! Rocket! 1015 00:46:18,345 --> 00:46:20,513 Rocket! Rocket! 1016 00:46:20,613 --> 00:46:22,315 Rocket! Rocket! 1017 00:46:22,415 --> 00:46:24,250 Rocket! Rocket! 1018 00:46:24,351 --> 00:46:25,885 Rocket! Rocket! 1019 00:46:25,985 --> 00:46:27,554 Rocket! Rocket! 1020 00:46:27,654 --> 00:46:30,056 [crowd fades] Rocket! Rocket! 1021 00:46:30,156 --> 00:46:31,958 ♪ 1022 00:46:36,029 --> 00:46:37,197 - [ball thwacks] - Strike! 1023 00:46:37,297 --> 00:46:38,932 Oh! 1024 00:46:43,036 --> 00:46:46,206 [crowd cheering] 1025 00:46:46,306 --> 00:46:48,241 Go, go, go, go! 1026 00:46:48,842 --> 00:46:50,010 Yeah! 1027 00:46:58,218 --> 00:46:59,986 I want all exits guarded. 1028 00:47:00,086 --> 00:47:01,287 Ball girl was right. 1029 00:47:01,388 --> 00:47:03,456 Our suspect is "Rocket" Russell Waddell. 1030 00:47:04,524 --> 00:47:06,893 [indistinct radio chatter] 1031 00:47:15,468 --> 00:47:17,537 ♪ 1032 00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:23,176 Show 'em what you got, kid. 1033 00:47:23,276 --> 00:47:24,978 [crowd] Rocket! Rocket! 1034 00:47:25,078 --> 00:47:26,880 Rocket! Rocket! 1035 00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:28,848 Rocket! Rocket! 1036 00:47:28,948 --> 00:47:30,784 Rocket! Rocket! 1037 00:47:30,884 --> 00:47:32,519 Rocket! Rocket! 1038 00:47:32,619 --> 00:47:34,521 Rocket! Rocket! 1039 00:47:34,621 --> 00:47:37,123 [* "Glory Days" resumes} 1040 00:47:37,223 --> 00:47:38,558 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1041 00:47:39,325 --> 00:47:41,261 - ♪ Come on ♪ - [ball thwacks] 1042 00:47:41,361 --> 00:47:42,629 ♪ Whoo ♪ 1043 00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:47,567 ♪ Huh! ♪ 1044 00:47:50,270 --> 00:47:54,207 ♪ I had a friend was a big baseball player ♪ 1045 00:47:54,574 --> 00:47:57,243 ♪ Back in high school ♪ 1046 00:47:58,912 --> 00:48:02,315 ♪ He could throw that speedball by you ♪ 1047 00:48:02,849 --> 00:48:05,652 ♪ Make you look like a fool, boy ♪ 1048 00:48:06,586 --> 00:48:09,956 ♪ Saw him the other night at this roadside bar ♪ 1049 00:48:10,056 --> 00:48:13,360 ♪ I was walking in, he was walking out ♪ 1050 00:48:14,127 --> 00:48:18,365 ♪ We went back inside, sat down, had a few drinks ♪ 1051 00:48:18,465 --> 00:48:22,369 ♪ But all he kept talking about was ♪ 1052 00:48:22,469 --> 00:48:23,636 ♪ Glory days ♪ 1053 00:48:24,270 --> 00:48:27,741 ♪ Well, they'll pass you by, glory days ♪ 1054 00:48:28,341 --> 00:48:32,078 ♪ In the wink of a young girl's eye, glory days ♪ 1055 00:48:32,545 --> 00:48:35,949 ♪ Glory days ♪ 1056 00:48:37,384 --> 00:48:38,718 ♪ Alright ♪ 1057 00:48:38,818 --> 00:48:41,554 ♪ Well, there's a girl that lives up the block... ♪