1 00:00:03,208 --> 00:00:04,208 Sorry, I'm late. 2 00:00:04,292 --> 00:00:06,667 I'm assuming you're a Wonder Man and not a Barnaby? 3 00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:07,750 Correct. 4 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,958 I don't have a Doorman waiver on file for you, 5 00:00:10,042 --> 00:00:11,667 so I'm gonna need you to sign this... 6 00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:15,042 Assuming, of course, you don't have superpowers. 7 00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:17,500 The showrunner just called. 8 00:00:17,583 --> 00:00:19,417 He's cutting your character from the show. 9 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,333 What happened on American Horror Story, Simon? 10 00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:22,417 I got fired, okay? 11 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,667 - Oh, no, Simon. Really? - No, Mummi, it wasn't my fault. 12 00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:27,250 Of course, nothing is ever your fault. 13 00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:28,750 Don't upset him. 14 00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:34,333 You know I'd never work again if anyone found out. 15 00:00:34,417 --> 00:00:35,583 What are you talking about? 16 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,750 Because of DeMarr "Doorman" Davis. 17 00:00:37,833 --> 00:00:40,125 Sorry. Who's DeMarr "Doorman" Davis? 18 00:01:20,708 --> 00:01:23,500 Oh, damn. Sorry. I can't let y'all in. 19 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,875 What? Why not? 20 00:01:24,958 --> 00:01:27,417 You see, right there, it says you're from Texas. 21 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,875 And I heard they dance weird out there. 22 00:01:30,917 --> 00:01:32,125 Yeah. We don't do none of this in LA. 23 00:01:32,208 --> 00:01:33,750 ♪ Woohoo ♪ 24 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:35,917 ♪ Do-si-do, tell your mama You're too slow ♪ 25 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,125 Oh, my God. 26 00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:39,208 I think we'll be okay. 27 00:01:39,292 --> 00:01:41,333 All right. Get your ass in there, girl. 28 00:01:42,292 --> 00:01:44,500 Don't injure yourself now, you hear? Yeehaw. 29 00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:48,000 Oh, yeah. Look who's in the house. 30 00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:50,250 - Oh, What? - There he is. 31 00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,750 Stand back. What's up? Mr. Gad, how you doing, sir? 32 00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,917 Mr. Gad? Come on, man. 33 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,000 Call me Josh or J-Gad, I'm trying to make that a thing. 34 00:01:58,083 --> 00:02:00,750 - Anyways, so what's cooking tonight? - Oh, y'all gonna have fun tonight. 35 00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:03,417 We got the guy from Imagine Dragons deejaying. 36 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,333 Radioactive most important song of the last three years, easy. 37 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:07,417 - Oh, yeah. - Yep. 38 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,250 Listen, if things slow down out here, 39 00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:11,083 why don't you come in and have a drink with me? Yeah? 40 00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:12,667 - Oh, that's very nice of you. - Come here. 41 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:16,125 Mmm. That's it. 42 00:02:18,292 --> 00:02:20,333 Okay. You're just gonna wear the shades in? 43 00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:22,083 I don't know. 44 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,458 Are you really with him? 'Cause... 45 00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:27,167 Next! 46 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:30,333 Seems like it was live in here. The line outside was slammed. 47 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,833 People went apeshit when Olaf started crowd surfing. 48 00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:34,333 I bet. 49 00:02:34,417 --> 00:02:39,083 Do you realize the first time I tipped you out was over three years ago? 50 00:02:39,167 --> 00:02:41,583 You kidding? I've been here that long? 51 00:02:43,042 --> 00:02:46,250 - Do you like working here, DeMarr? - Of course. Why you say that? 52 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,667 We don't normally have employees last with us this long. 53 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:52,292 It's Hollywood. Everyone's an actor or a model and, you know... 54 00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:55,167 Working here is just a stepping stone. 55 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,167 That ain't me. I like this gig. 56 00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,375 It's fun. 57 00:02:58,458 --> 00:02:59,500 The tips are good. 58 00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:01,917 I get to talk to people and be myself. 59 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:04,875 That's all I really need. 60 00:03:04,958 --> 00:03:07,458 You don't meet a lot of people in this town who are happy 61 00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:08,542 with where they're at. 62 00:03:09,375 --> 00:03:10,375 Hold on to that. 63 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000 Why wouldn't I? 64 00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:13,333 Probably because you're gonna be hauling 65 00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:16,625 a stinky bag of garbage in about two seconds. 66 00:03:19,875 --> 00:03:21,292 Heart-to-heart's over. 67 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,750 Sorry. Thank you very much. 68 00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:25,833 Fun while it lasted. 69 00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:40,667 Shit. 70 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,292 What the hell? 71 00:04:41,833 --> 00:04:43,375 No, no. 72 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,292 No! 73 00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:51,667 No! 74 00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:04,792 Chance. 75 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,458 What's up, Chance? 76 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 Chance? 77 00:05:15,208 --> 00:05:16,208 Chance. 78 00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:20,125 Chance, I'm coming. 79 00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:23,458 Hello? 80 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000 Hello? 81 00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,917 Chance, come here. Come. Come here, girl. 82 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,375 What the hell are you doing? Get out of my apartment! 83 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,292 Ma'am, uh, this is a misunderstanding. 84 00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:38,583 I put my hand in some goo, and all of a sudden, 85 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:40,042 my dog fell through the floor. 86 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,958 - Get out! - I promise I'm not breaking in. 87 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,375 Whoa, I'm leaving. 88 00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:58,375 Oh, no. 89 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:01,750 No. 90 00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:05,583 Nah. 91 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:14,333 DeMarr, uh, you okay? 92 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:15,583 Yeah, yeah. 93 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,792 It's just kinda been a weird day. That's all. Sorry. 94 00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:21,333 No, no, it's fine. Listen, we are totally packed tonight. 95 00:06:21,417 --> 00:06:24,542 Pushing it on the fire code, so just, you know, don't let anyone else in, 96 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:26,417 - until it clears out a bit. - I got you. 97 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,042 ♪ Bees'll buzz ♪ 98 00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,958 ♪ Kids'll blow dandelion fuzz ♪ 99 00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:33,458 ♪ And I'll be doing whatever snow does In summer ♪ 100 00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:38,000 ♪ A drink in my hand ♪ 101 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,167 ♪ My snow up against the burning sand ♪ 102 00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:43,875 ♪ Prob'ly getting gorgeously tanned In summer ♪ 103 00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:48,125 We're melting! Melting, bitches! 104 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,667 ♪ Summer, summer, summer ♪ 105 00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:54,333 ♪ In summer ♪ 106 00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:01,625 What the hell was that? 107 00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,125 It's stuck! 108 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,833 - I can't get it open. - Keep trying. 109 00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:14,875 I'm gonna call the fire department. Get that door open. 110 00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:17,458 Okay. Hold on! 111 00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:44,875 The door was jammed. Quick, go through me. 112 00:07:44,958 --> 00:07:47,500 - What do you mean? - Go through me. 113 00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:48,958 - I don't... - What is he saying? 114 00:07:49,042 --> 00:07:50,750 I think he said he wants us inside him. 115 00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:52,458 Pass. 116 00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:56,417 He's saying, he wants us to go through him. 117 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,500 Mmm-hmm... 118 00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,792 How does... How do I do this? Do I just enter you? 119 00:08:02,875 --> 00:08:04,250 I really don't know. Really. 120 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:06,042 Uh, hold on. Just give me a second, let me... 121 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,417 - Now, now. - Okay. 122 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:10,125 Ugh! 123 00:08:10,208 --> 00:08:12,208 All right. 124 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,583 Shit! Why am I doing this? Oh, God. Oh! 125 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,833 Oh, look! Look at that. There's the other side. 126 00:08:17,917 --> 00:08:18,917 Oh, shit. 127 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,375 It works! 128 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:23,250 Everyone follow me. Exit through DeMarr. 129 00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:33,958 Hurry! This shit ain't easy. 130 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,083 - Hey. - Jesus! 131 00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,958 Sorry, man. I didn't mean to scare you. 132 00:08:42,042 --> 00:08:44,458 I just wanted to come out here and say thank you. 133 00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:47,333 Don't sweat it. I'm sure anybody would have done that. 134 00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:48,750 Are you being serious right now? 135 00:08:48,833 --> 00:08:51,167 You just saved everybody's life in that building. 136 00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:53,458 You just saved my life. 137 00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:54,708 I gotta pay you back. 138 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,167 I don't need anything. I'm good. 139 00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,708 - How about a new job? - What? 140 00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:02,292 DeMarr, after what you did tonight, there's no way... 141 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:05,500 no offense, that you can go be a doorman anymore. 142 00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:07,667 Come work for me. I'll put you on the payroll. 143 00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:10,708 Look, Mr. J-Gad, I appreciate it, but I'm fine here. 144 00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,542 - Got a good boss... - Starting salary is 200K plus benefits. 145 00:09:15,583 --> 00:09:17,083 - Yeah, that'll work. - Yeah. 146 00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:19,167 {\an8}Josh Gad is in the news again. 147 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:22,208 {\an8}The Frozen star is catching fire and turning heads, 148 00:09:22,292 --> 00:09:24,542 {\an8}with his new superpowered personal valet. 149 00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:26,750 {\an8}The man in question appears to be DeMarr Davis, 150 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,167 {\an8}former Wilcox employee, 151 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,750 {\an8}who's affectionately been dubbed "Doorman." 152 00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,958 {\an8}He's been spotted all over town with Josh 153 00:09:33,042 --> 00:09:37,500 {\an8}and seemingly has the power to move himself and his boss through solid walls. 154 00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,500 {\an8}Davis recently saved a crowd 155 00:09:39,583 --> 00:09:41,083 {\an8}from a fire at a popular nightclub. 156 00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:46,292 {\an8}Now it seems he's exclusively using his talents in service of Gad. 157 00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:49,292 {\an8}Meanwhile, this Mormon has just Booked a new project, 158 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:51,667 {\an8}an action comedy called Cash Grab. 159 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:55,208 {\an8}You might say this former LeFou... is Gast-on a roll. 160 00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:07,375 Dying for some sugar. 161 00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,375 They got some stale snickerdoodle cookies over there. 162 00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,042 - Mmm. - But it's better to have no cookie 163 00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:12,375 than to have a disappointing cookie. 164 00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:13,542 - Know what I'm saying? - Huh. 165 00:10:13,625 --> 00:10:16,750 Frank Preminger, Hanover Agency. 166 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:17,958 Oh, I heard of that. 167 00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:19,417 - DeMarr, right? - Yeah. 168 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,083 - The Doorman? - Live and direct. 169 00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:24,000 Ding dong. 170 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,625 You're a funny guy. 171 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,833 - Thank you. - Yeah. Do you ever think about acting? 172 00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:32,417 Nah. Not my thing, Frank. 173 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,750 Besides, who will get J-Gad his snack plate? 174 00:10:35,833 --> 00:10:38,458 True. Keep it. You never know. 175 00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:42,542 It's just, you know the heist is feeling flat. 176 00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:45,042 Mmm-hmm, I agree. I think we need something more original. 177 00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:47,125 Well, we could go back to flooding the vault. 178 00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:48,500 I always liked that version. 179 00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:50,958 Snatched you some crab rangoons before they got housed. 180 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:56,708 Or we could use liquid nitrogen to freeze the locks and shatter them. 181 00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,417 The vault needs to be impenetrable. 182 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:01,958 The whole point is that this crew are the only ones on the planet 183 00:11:02,042 --> 00:11:03,667 that can get in or out. 184 00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:05,833 Um... 185 00:11:06,792 --> 00:11:07,958 I may have something. 186 00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:10,667 Look, man, I wanna help out. 187 00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,958 But I can't act. 188 00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:14,208 Who cares? I can't act. 189 00:11:14,292 --> 00:11:16,208 It's never stopped me from being an actor. 190 00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:17,750 We'll make sure it's only a couple of lines. 191 00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:20,042 This will be easy, I'm telling you. 192 00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:22,458 You know what's easy? If you bring somebody else in. 193 00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:24,708 Keep the idea, a brilliant idea. 194 00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:28,458 Bring in a real actor. Then you can fake it with CGI. 195 00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:31,542 Yeah, but what makes it cool is that it's you. 196 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:35,208 People know who you are, and they would go crazy. 197 00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:38,292 I don't know. I'm more comfortable behind the scenes. 198 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:42,375 DeMarr, there is a reason that you are making headlines. 199 00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:45,083 You have something that other people just don't. 200 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:48,333 It's a... a charisma, a charm. 201 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:51,333 On top of all of that, you can become a door. 202 00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:56,042 It is not every day that an opportunity like this just falls into your lap. 203 00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,500 You do realize that, right? 204 00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,208 - All right. - Yeah. 205 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:06,125 All right. 206 00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,333 It's gonna be great. 207 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,792 Vamos a la playa, amigos. 208 00:12:13,875 --> 00:12:16,125 We've been training ten years for this. 209 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:19,458 And now we've only got 30 seconds to grab some cash. 210 00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:28,792 Oh, shit. No! We're trapped. 211 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,208 I knew you'd trip the silent alarm. 212 00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:34,333 What difference does it make? We're all gonna die. 213 00:12:34,417 --> 00:12:36,375 Hey, keep it together, you two. 214 00:12:36,458 --> 00:12:38,333 Why, Jake? It's time to panic. 215 00:12:38,417 --> 00:12:40,125 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 216 00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:44,458 Ding-dong, motherfu... 217 00:12:44,542 --> 00:12:47,000 Doorman! 218 00:12:48,875 --> 00:12:51,875 Doorman, Doorman, Doorman! 219 00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:57,083 What did I tell you, huh? 220 00:12:58,167 --> 00:12:59,167 They love you. 221 00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:02,875 And things get a little crazy on this week's Murphy Family. 222 00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:06,167 When special guest DeMarr "Doorman" Davis comes a-knockin'. 223 00:13:08,083 --> 00:13:11,167 There's the door... man. 224 00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,542 {\an8}Where is that thing? 225 00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:20,792 {\an8}I'm so embarrassed. Oh, hold on. I got this. 226 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:30,750 {\an8}Ding-dong, babies! Ding to the dong! 227 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:33,167 {\an8}The people are real, the rulings are real. 228 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:36,625 {\an8}And this week's guest judge isn't afraid to tell it like it is. 229 00:13:36,708 --> 00:13:39,958 Ding-dong. I said ding-dong! You ding-dongs! 230 00:13:40,042 --> 00:13:42,583 - I am a big fan. - You want a pic? 231 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:43,792 Okay. 232 00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,208 I remember this place. 233 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,083 Dang, girl, you done got fine. What's up? 234 00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:54,583 Yo! Mind if I come in for a drink? 235 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,917 Oh, of course, Mr. Doorman. Please, head right in. 236 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,375 Yeah. 237 00:13:58,458 --> 00:14:01,417 Oh, if things quiet down, why don't you come and have a drink with us? 238 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,333 Oh, I'd love that. Thank you. 239 00:14:03,417 --> 00:14:04,750 Ding-dong. 240 00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,792 Ding-dong. 241 00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:13,750 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 242 00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:16,500 ♪ You'll be dancing like a star In Hollywood ♪ 243 00:14:16,583 --> 00:14:17,583 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 244 00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,250 ♪ You'll be dancing like a star In Hollywood ♪ 245 00:14:20,333 --> 00:14:21,375 ♪ All right ♪ 246 00:14:21,458 --> 00:14:24,208 ♪ Holly-Hollywood, Holly-Hollywood ♪ 247 00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,167 Yeah! 248 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,375 Is there a celebrity in here that used to be my employee? 249 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,417 Oh, Bridget, what's up, girl? 250 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:39,042 Bridget! Yo, what's goin' on? 251 00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:40,375 Wow. 252 00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:43,125 - Y'all, this is Bridget Bailey. - Yeah. 253 00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:44,875 - The number-one club owner in LA... - Hey. 254 00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:46,833 - And an amazing boss. - Hey. I like that. 255 00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:47,917 Wow. Look at you. 256 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,083 - You look great. - Thank you. 257 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,875 - I heard you got a movie out. - Ding-dong. 258 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,458 I'm sorry, I haven't seen it yet. 259 00:14:53,542 --> 00:14:55,208 - Oh, don't worry about it. - Yet. 260 00:14:55,292 --> 00:14:56,583 - How are you doing? - Me? 261 00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:59,500 - Yeah. - You know, same old, same old. 262 00:14:59,583 --> 00:15:00,583 So, uh... 263 00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:03,083 You happy? 264 00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:04,208 Damn straight. 265 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:08,750 I just got off the phone with my agent, and he told me he landed me a huge, 266 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,875 - huge commercial contract. - Wow. 267 00:15:11,958 --> 00:15:13,167 Life's about to change. 268 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:22,917 What the hell? 269 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,625 "Wouldn't 'knock-knock' make more sense as a catchphrase?" 270 00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:27,375 That's a good one, Samuel. 271 00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,125 Hmm. Mark that one. 272 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:34,792 "Please tell me when his fifteen minutes are up." 273 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,167 "Getting real tired of this Ding Dong business." 274 00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:44,417 "Some fools are hating, but Doorman still makes me smile." 275 00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:47,583 Thank you. 276 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,542 I'll come grab you in a bit for rehearsal. Let me know if you need anything else. 277 00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:54,208 Will do. 278 00:15:54,292 --> 00:15:55,958 Oh, maybe some ice for the water. 279 00:15:57,417 --> 00:16:02,000 Or, I can go to town with this brown. 280 00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:08,417 Doorman. Yo, this is crazy. I'm such a huge fan, bro. 281 00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:12,542 - Good to meet you, bro. I appreciate that. - Yeah. 282 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,042 So, hey, look I was looking over the pages... 283 00:16:14,125 --> 00:16:16,375 Yo, man, we wrote that at three o' clock in the morning, man. 284 00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,417 - Go easy on me. - No, no, it ain't that. It's just... 285 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:21,042 I'm... I'm a little nervous about the bit. 286 00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:23,125 Don't sweat it. People love when you can poke a little fun 287 00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:24,292 at yourself, man. Trust me. 288 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,667 - Okay, cool. - Okay. 289 00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,042 - I gotta get back out to rehearsal. - All right. 290 00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,625 - See you out there? - For sure. 291 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:37,000 {\an8}Hey! 292 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,667 Hey, what's up, y'all? It's me. 293 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,667 D-list actor and literal door, DeMarr Davis aka "Doorman!" 294 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,667 And welcome to Ding-Dong Tonight. 295 00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,417 I'm a little thirsty. A little thirsty. 296 00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,500 See what I can... 297 00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,708 Oh! 298 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:03,042 Tastes like door. A-ding-dong! 299 00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:06,292 What else I got up in here? 300 00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,750 Oh! Whoa! 301 00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:11,458 My mixtape. That's my mixtape. I've been looking for this. 302 00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:13,583 Ding-Dong! 303 00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,292 Oh! 304 00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:17,958 I call this, the go-long-ding-dong. 305 00:17:19,292 --> 00:17:20,833 ♪ Ding ding dong ♪ 306 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,667 ♪ Ding ding ding ding ding dong ♪ 307 00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,042 Oh, snap. Oh, look at this. 308 00:17:26,125 --> 00:17:27,417 ♪ Ding ding ding ding ding dong ♪ 309 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,750 Oh. What's up, DeMarr? 310 00:17:29,833 --> 00:17:31,500 Man, what are you doing here? 311 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:33,500 I thought you was hiding out from the IRS. 312 00:17:34,958 --> 00:17:37,708 Earl, come on, you gotta cool it with those rumors... 313 00:17:37,792 --> 00:17:38,792 and that impression. 314 00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:42,375 "Ding-dong." I mean, who is that? That's not me, is it? 315 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,083 I mean, I'm much more than just a catchphrase. 316 00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:47,833 You know, Earl, a lot of people don't realize 317 00:17:47,917 --> 00:17:51,417 that I've been taking acting classes at the Stella Adler Academy. 318 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,833 - Really? - Yeah. 319 00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,167 Well, let's see some of that training. 320 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:17,667 "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite..." 321 00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:20,458 ding-dongs. 322 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:29,708 With my diet, sometimes I have trouble getting things to move through me. 323 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:34,417 Try Expellax. It'll have your insides as insubstantial as mine. 324 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:36,625 Doorman, boundaries. 325 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:38,917 Ding-dong. 326 00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:44,250 Expellax, in new black cherry flavor. 327 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:45,917 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 328 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,917 Sure you don't wanna slow down there, pal? 329 00:18:50,583 --> 00:18:51,583 You're an hour late. 330 00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:53,958 Well, I'm here now. 331 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:57,250 - What do you want to talk about? - Expellax. 332 00:18:57,333 --> 00:18:59,417 They said the campaign would be smart and elevated, 333 00:19:00,292 --> 00:19:02,792 like Seinfeld and American Express. But these... 334 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,292 Yeah, about that. 335 00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:06,875 Ogilvy's cutting the contract short. 336 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,667 They just feel the joke's a little... 337 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:11,833 stale. 338 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:15,417 Exactly. That's why we need to come up with some new ideas. 339 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,208 - Let me pitch you... - It's too late, DeMarr. 340 00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:19,417 They already signed Michael Strahan. So... 341 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,625 - Strahan? - Yeah. 342 00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,792 That don't even make sense. He's just a normal guy. 343 00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:27,208 He is charming AF, and apparently suffers from chronic constipation. 344 00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:28,708 Damn. 345 00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:32,083 Can we fight this? I mean, we got a contract, right? 346 00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:34,917 I don't think we wanna take on a huge advertising agency. 347 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,500 Things are getting pretty tight. 348 00:19:37,833 --> 00:19:40,208 Behind on car payments and a few other things. 349 00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:43,333 Oh, come on, DeMarr, you gotta be more careful with your money. 350 00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,083 You know how this business works. 351 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,958 You can't count on the next paycheck until it's in your hands. 352 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,667 You've never said that. 353 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,542 I'm saying it now. 354 00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:58,958 You don't have any other superpowers you didn't tell me about, right? 355 00:19:59,042 --> 00:20:00,542 Just the door thing. 356 00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:02,958 Cool. 357 00:20:03,042 --> 00:20:05,500 Okay, well, look, this is a dip. 358 00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:08,292 This is a tiny little dip, and we're gonna get back on top. 359 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:13,083 We're gonna get you something better. Something... smart and elevated. 360 00:20:13,917 --> 00:20:15,042 Trust me. 361 00:20:16,042 --> 00:20:18,375 {\an8}That's right. This? You don't even need this no more. 362 00:20:18,458 --> 00:20:20,792 {\an8}This is a drum. 'Cause with the Potato Bag, 363 00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:24,917 {\an8}your potatoes will come fluffy on the inside and chewy on the outside. 364 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,958 {\an8}Why juggle a tough schedule when you can just use the Potato Bag? 365 00:20:28,042 --> 00:20:30,750 {\an8}Just drop it and plop it in the microwave. 366 00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,833 {\an8}You hear that sound? 367 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,042 {\an8}I think the potatoes just said "ding-dong." 368 00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,125 {\an8}Ooh! 369 00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,375 {\an8}Well, looks like Doorman is back in the news. 370 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:44,833 {\an8}Only this time, the overnight success finds himself in a bit of hot water. 371 00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:46,917 {\an8}Steam might be more accurate. 372 00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:49,917 {\an8}DeMarr Davis has been hit with several lawsuits 373 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,833 {\an8}over his involvement in the Potato Bag product, 374 00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:55,708 {\an8}which has been found to cause severe steam burns. 375 00:20:55,792 --> 00:20:57,292 {\an8}Ouch. 376 00:20:57,375 --> 00:21:00,375 {\an8}Hey, Doorknobs. I just wanted to get on today 377 00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:03,250 {\an8}just to let you know that I'm sorry to the hundreds of you 378 00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:06,667 {\an8}who experienced steam burns from using the Potato Bag. 379 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:09,333 {\an8}I want you to know that I'm in full support 380 00:21:09,417 --> 00:21:11,833 {\an8}of the class action lawsuit 381 00:21:11,917 --> 00:21:14,042 {\an8}and that I, too, was misled 382 00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:17,667 {\an8}by Food America Product Incorporated. 383 00:21:17,750 --> 00:21:20,833 {\an8}I think, at this moment, I need to take some time to step away 384 00:21:20,917 --> 00:21:26,708 and really reflect on where all this is going for me and for you. 385 00:21:26,792 --> 00:21:30,500 So stay supportive, and I will stay supporting you. Keep knocking. 386 00:21:32,667 --> 00:21:33,667 Shit. 387 00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:58,833 - Oh, shit. - There's my best friend. 388 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,250 - I miss you, man. - I miss you more. 389 00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,708 Guess what, though? Studio wants Cash Grab Two. 390 00:22:02,792 --> 00:22:04,208 - Really? - Hell yeah. 391 00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:05,875 You bullshitting. 392 00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,542 No, man. We're getting the band back together. You in? 393 00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,042 Of course. I'm in. 394 00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:11,625 Ah, beautiful, man. 395 00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:13,000 - Let's do it. - Yeah? 396 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,625 - Hell yeah. - Amazing. 397 00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,875 - All right, I'll be in touch, bud. - All right. 398 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,292 Thank you. Thank you. 399 00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:28,750 Don't mess this up. Don't mess this up. 400 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,042 Ding-dong. 401 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,792 They're inviting you to set, again. 402 00:22:51,875 --> 00:22:52,875 I'm coming. 403 00:22:54,250 --> 00:22:55,250 DeMarr? 404 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:57,333 Go ahead. 405 00:22:59,583 --> 00:23:00,667 Oh, shit. 406 00:23:03,167 --> 00:23:05,417 Cash Grab Two apart is upping our game on the stunts. 407 00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,625 Hey, you're that Incredible Hulk, huh? You ain't that tall. 408 00:23:08,708 --> 00:23:10,458 DeMarr, you're all right with that, right? The stunts? 409 00:23:10,542 --> 00:23:13,583 Of course. Me and Tom Cruise, we do our own stunts, baby. 410 00:23:14,417 --> 00:23:16,583 DeMarr... DeMarr, you good, bud? 411 00:23:16,667 --> 00:23:18,083 - Yeah. I'm good to go. - Okay. 412 00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:19,917 G-T-G. 413 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,375 - A mark. - B mark. 414 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,792 And action! 415 00:23:31,292 --> 00:23:34,458 We only get one shot at this, Gustavo. You ready? 416 00:23:34,542 --> 00:23:36,000 Always, Jake. 417 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:39,833 We're in position. 418 00:23:39,917 --> 00:23:41,625 - They're in place. - Okay. Yeah. 419 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,000 Here we go. 420 00:23:59,292 --> 00:24:00,417 I'm going through. 421 00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:01,500 All right. 422 00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:24,375 Where is he? 423 00:24:24,458 --> 00:24:25,458 He didn't come out. 424 00:24:31,792 --> 00:24:32,792 J-Gad! 425 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000 J... 426 00:24:41,375 --> 00:24:43,167 Where is Josh Gad? 427 00:24:43,250 --> 00:24:45,417 {\an8}The world wants to know. 428 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:48,667 {\an8}It's been months since he disappeared inside DeMarr Davis, 429 00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:52,250 {\an8}and the Department of Damage Control is still searching for answers. 430 00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,125 {\an8}We want to assure the American public 431 00:24:54,208 --> 00:24:58,333 {\an8}that the Department takes this horrific incident seriously. 432 00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:02,333 {\an8}DeMarr Davis will be continually monitored for the rest of his life. 433 00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,333 {\an8}We will do everything in our power 434 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:08,375 {\an8}to ensure a tragedy of this magnitude never happens again. 435 00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:12,750 {\an8}While the DODC continues to probe, experiment, and investigate 436 00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:16,250 {\an8}every inch of DeMarr Davis, Hollywood is now waiting. 437 00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:19,125 {\an8}Every major studio in Hollywood is doing their part 438 00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:21,542 {\an8}to avoid another possible tragedy. 439 00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:24,167 {\an8}They're calling it "The Doorman Clause." 440 00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,792 Going forward, it will be nearly impossible 441 00:25:26,875 --> 00:25:32,125 for superpowered individuals to perform in major motion picture or TV roles. 442 00:25:32,208 --> 00:25:35,458 The insurance required now, astronomical. 443 00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:36,708 Everything okay? 444 00:25:37,542 --> 00:25:38,583 Hmm? 445 00:25:38,667 --> 00:25:39,750 Is it bad news? 446 00:25:39,833 --> 00:25:42,292 Oh. No, it's... it's good. 447 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,333 It's all good. 448 00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:05,833 ♪ I have come a long way From the hills of Tennessee ♪ 449 00:26:05,917 --> 00:26:10,417 ♪ And I've worked hard to make The folks back home real proud of me ♪ 450 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:14,958 ♪ Now everybody knows my name No matter where I go ♪ 451 00:26:15,042 --> 00:26:19,417 ♪ But I never really made it till The Johnny Carson Show ♪ 452 00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:27,167 ♪ Now I have dreamed of stardom Since I was just a kid ♪ 453 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:31,500 {\an8}♪ And me 'n' Dollar dreamed beneath This thirteen dollar wig ♪ 454 00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:36,083 {\an8}♪ In my bell-bottom jumpsuits With my rhinestones all aglow ♪ 455 00:26:36,167 --> 00:26:41,625 {\an8}♪ I became an overnight success From The Johnny Carson Show ♪ 456 00:26:41,708 --> 00:26:46,708 ♪ From polyester paradise To silk and satin frills ♪ 457 00:26:46,792 --> 00:26:51,375 ♪ From a forty-eight foot mobile home To a mansion on the hill ♪ 458 00:26:51,458 --> 00:26:55,917 ♪ From moonshine to rare wine From a Packard to a Rolls ♪ 459 00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:01,292 ♪ But I'd never really made it till The Johnny Carson Show ♪ 460 00:27:01,375 --> 00:27:05,875 ♪ Now there's only one small problem Sometimes I get disturbed ♪ 461 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:10,792 ♪ Folks sometimes get me confused With Monti Rock the third ♪ 462 00:27:10,875 --> 00:27:14,667 ♪ But still I think it's worth it And I just thought you should know ♪ 463 00:27:14,750 --> 00:27:19,500 ♪ That I'll always owe a special thanks To The Johnny Carson Show ♪ 464 00:27:19,583 --> 00:27:24,708 ♪ I went from pop beads to diamonds From car coats to fur ♪ 465 00:27:24,792 --> 00:27:29,125 ♪ From K-Mart to Guccis From here no tellin' where ♪ 466 00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:33,667 ♪ From Hillbilly Heaven To a penthouse on the coast ♪ 467 00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:38,542 ♪ But I never really made it till The Johnny Carson Show ♪ 468 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:50,708 ♪ Sometimes, I like to close my eyes ♪ 469 00:27:50,792 --> 00:27:55,208 ♪ And imagine what it'd be like When summer does come, ah ♪ 470 00:27:56,333 --> 00:28:00,000 ♪ Bees'll buzz Kids'll blow dandelion fuzz ♪ 471 00:28:00,083 --> 00:28:04,667 ♪ And I'll be doing whatever snow does In summer ♪ 472 00:28:05,958 --> 00:28:10,000 ♪ A drink in my hand My snow up against the burning sand ♪ 473 00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:13,875 ♪ Prob'ly getting gorgeously tanned In summer ♪ 474 00:28:16,167 --> 00:28:20,000 ♪ I'll finally see a summer breeze, Blow away a winter storm ♪ 475 00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:24,458 ♪ And find out what happens To solid water when it gets warm ♪ 476 00:28:25,958 --> 00:28:30,000 ♪ And I can't wait to see What my buddies all think of me ♪ 477 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:34,208 ♪ Just imagine how much cooler I'll be in summer ♪ 478 00:28:34,292 --> 00:28:39,458 ♪ Summer, summer, summer Summer summer, summer ♪ 479 00:28:39,542 --> 00:28:44,042 ♪ In summer ♪ 480 00:28:47,417 --> 00:28:51,708 ♪ In summer ♪ 481 00:28:51,792 --> 00:28:55,667 ♪ Bad-dah, da-doo, Uh-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-boo ♪ 482 00:28:55,750 --> 00:29:00,208 ♪ The hot and the cold are both so intense Put 'em together, it just makes sense ♪ 483 00:29:00,292 --> 00:29:04,250 ♪ Rrrat, dah-dah, dah-dah Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-doo ♪ 484 00:29:04,333 --> 00:29:06,250 ♪ Winter's a good time to stay in And cuddle ♪ 485 00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:08,208 ♪ But put me in summer and I'll be a... ♪ 486 00:29:08,292 --> 00:29:12,167 ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy Happy, happy, snowman ♪ 487 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,792 ♪ Happy, happy, snowman ♪ 488 00:29:13,875 --> 00:29:14,958 ♪ Happy snowman ♪ 489 00:29:15,042 --> 00:29:16,333 ♪ Happy snowman ♪ 490 00:29:16,417 --> 00:29:18,750 ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy snowman ♪ 491 00:29:18,833 --> 00:29:19,875 ♪ Happy snowman ♪ 492 00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:22,708 ♪ Happy, happy... ♪ 493 00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:27,083 ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy snowman ♪ 494 00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:29,250 ♪ Snowman, snowman ♪ 495 00:29:32,292 --> 00:29:34,208 ♪ Winter's a good time to stay in And cuddle ♪ 496 00:29:34,292 --> 00:29:36,167 ♪ Winter's a good time to Stay in and cuddle ♪ 497 00:29:36,250 --> 00:29:37,417 ♪ Winter's a good time... ♪ 498 00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,250 ♪ Winter's a good time to Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle ♪ 499 00:29:39,333 --> 00:29:41,958 - ♪ In summer ♪ - ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy ♪ 500 00:29:42,042 --> 00:29:43,292 ♪ Snowman ♪ 501 00:29:47,333 --> 00:29:52,125 ♪ In summer ♪