1 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:02,711 Ah! 2 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:04,463 Damn, it's just Riley. 3 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,090 "Damn, it's just Riley." 4 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,176 I have a name for my autobiography. 5 00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,054 This dude has been waiting on your brother, 6 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,223 watching the door like a dog. 7 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,558 I had to rub his belly to calm him down. 8 00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:20,312 I can't believe Dad's picking Sam up at the airport. 9 00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,940 He didn't even pick me up when I got my wisdom teeth pulled. 10 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,692 It was fine. I've driven on way more codeine. 11 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,403 Sam joined the Navy. 12 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,989 You got fired for stealing socks from Old Navy. 13 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,159 Alright, attention on deck! 14 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,119 We got an officer coming in there. 15 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,622 Sam Parker, Commander of Naval Intelligence. 16 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:39,831 Get over here. 17 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,708 -Aw. -Okay! Oh, yeah. 18 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,543 I missed you so much. 19 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:44,920 Oh, we're gonna have so much fun. 20 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,755 We gotta go to the Grove. They have a trolley now. 21 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,549 -Gabe, sit. Sit, sit. Calm down. -Okay. 22 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,801 -Okay, my turn. Oh! -Aw. 23 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,053 Oh, this feels good. 24 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,680 And weird without you putting me in a headlock 25 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,682 -and giving me a noogie. -Well, if you insist. 26 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,183 -No! -Oh! 27 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,769 Look at my man Sam. 28 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,229 You lookin' good, baby. 29 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,105 -Not as good as you. -I know that's right. 30 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,234 This is just great, you know? 31 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,069 He's on the road to becoming an admiral 32 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,946 and just flew in from-- Where was it? 33 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:12,781 -I'm not at liberty to say. -Ha! 34 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,074 I love it when he says that. 35 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,370 Yeah, but when I say it, I'm "withholding evidence." 36 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:36,013 Georgia, your mom tells me how great you're doing in school. 37 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,598 And, Carter... 38 00:01:38,181 --> 00:01:40,142 you're really funny on Instagram. 39 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,020 Thanks. Missed you, Unc. 40 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,688 You know, last time you saw me, I was a boy. 41 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,607 But now, I'm a man. 42 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:50,360 And, yes, that is Obsession by Calvin Klein you're smelling. 43 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,824 It's better than his old scent, Cool Ranch by Dorito. 44 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,162 You know what? We should have a welcome home party. 45 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,956 Oh! You've never thrown me a party, Dad. 46 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,584 Sure, I did. Junior year. That big surprise party. 47 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,419 That was an intervention. 48 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,881 But the muffins were great. 49 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,383 Fine, but not a lame party. 50 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,427 -We should do a karaoke night! -Ooh! 51 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,012 No, no, no, no, I don't like karaoke. 52 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,805 I don't listen to Bob Seger songs thinking, 53 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,016 "Maybe some drunk accountant should sing this." 54 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,895 -Uncle Sam. -Hm? 55 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:28,565 -You're a spy, right? -I am not at liberty to-- 56 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,150 Yeah, yeah, save it for the sheeple. 57 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,945 My Legend of Zelda game is missing, 58 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,489 and I know Carter took it. 59 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,033 Can you give me some spy stuff to catch him? 60 00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:40,285 One of the first things they teach us... 61 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,121 ...is that when people lie, 62 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,540 they have a tic or a tell that gives them away. 63 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,086 -Like what? -Um, fidgeting, 64 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,420 avoiding eye contact. 65 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,172 An unusual rise in vocal tone. 66 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,761 Grandpa, you love Mom and Sam the same, right? 67 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,554 Yeah, of course I do. 68 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,520 I can't believe how grown up the kids are. 69 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,230 Well, you've been gone a long time. 70 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,940 You know, you spent all that time in North Korea... 71 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:12,150 -Dad. -My mistake, South Korea. 72 00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,070 You know I can't tell you. 73 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,655 And I also know how hard it is 74 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,115 for you to not know where I've been. 75 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,950 Well, it's a good thing for you 76 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,827 'cause you're on that admiral track. 77 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,912 Something you've always wanted since you were a kid. 78 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:27,707 Yeah, well, I also wanted to be a dinosaur, so... 79 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,794 I'm glad to be home. 80 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,505 Yeah. Me too. Really missed you, kid. 81 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:37,968 So, my loss is the Philippines' gain? 82 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:40,929 Nope. 83 00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:45,434 You know, Cyprus is on the water. 84 00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,768 It is Cyprus. 85 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,437 Could be. 86 00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:49,312 Cleveland? 87 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,692 ♪ Yo, I'll tell you what I want what I really, really want ♪ 88 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,735 ♪ So tell me what you want, what you really, really want ♪ 89 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,821 ♪ I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want ♪ 90 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,781 ♪ So tell me what you want, what you really, really want ♪ 91 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,200 ♪ I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna ♪ 92 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,743 ♪ I wanna really, really, really wanna zigaziga ♪ 93 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,078 ♪ Ah! ♪ 94 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,083 I'll tell you what I really want. 95 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,627 For these mushrooms to kick in faster. 96 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,921 Hey, guys. 97 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,882 -Oh, hey, you made it. -Yeah, of course. 98 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:19,134 You know Gabe and Stitch. This is my brother. 99 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,844 -Sam, this is my boyfriend, Andy. -Hey. 100 00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,429 He's, uh... Well, look at him. 101 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,766 Oh, it's nice to put a name to the face of the guy 102 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,809 that Gabe says he can do more pull-ups than. 103 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,811 - Hmm. - Twelve. 104 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,023 It's not important. But it's 12. 105 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,153 Andy is a lawyer. And he's never been arrested. 106 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:40,489 I did a background check. 107 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:42,115 But, unless you kill puppies, we're good. 108 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,742 And even then. 109 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,830 -Hi, I'm Amelie. -Hi. Nice to meet you, Amelie. 110 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,750 -Stop that. Bring it in. -Okay. 111 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,921 Um, I'm a dancer, but I minored in physics. 112 00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:00,091 The point is, I'm not defined by being Gabe's girlfriend. 113 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:02,260 I mean, what does "girlfriend" even mean? 114 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,429 It means that we live together 115 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,223 in a monogamous sexual relationship. 116 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,683 Shh! Stop. 117 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:11,269 You know what? You guys mind if I sing you a song? 118 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,563 Oh. Oh! 119 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,149 You brought a guitar. Huh. To karaoke. 120 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,694 You know, the, uh, the music's provided, right? 121 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,697 Music is provided, but it is BYOA. 122 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,449 That A is for awesomeness. 123 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:27,786 Stitch, I'll Make Love to You. 124 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,414 Uh. The-- The song. Uh, Boyz II Men. 125 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,708 I really feel like the right thing to do 126 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,127 is to protect him from himself. 127 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,337 And play. 128 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,803 ♪ Close your eyes ♪ 129 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,805 ♪ Make a wish ♪ 130 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,850 Made one. You still have the guitar. 131 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,018 ♪ ...the candlelight ♪ 132 00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,770 ♪ For tonight! ♪ 133 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,606 ♪ Is just your night ♪ 134 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,401 I should have protected him from himself. 135 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,612 This is Black-on-Black crime. 136 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,906 ♪ I’ll make love to you ♪ 137 00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,200 ♪ If you want me to ♪ 138 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,036 ♪ And I'll hold you tight ♪ 139 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,414 ♪ Baby, all through the night ♪ 140 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,457 ♪ I'll make love to you ♪ 141 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,710 ♪ Like you want me to ♪ 142 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,169 ♪ And I'll... ♪ 143 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,881 This is the most painful thing I've ever experienced. 144 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,133 And I fist-fought a dude from the Taliban. 145 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,136 What are you talking about? 146 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,888 This couldn’t be going any better. 147 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,806 Guitar solo! 148 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,518 And it just got better! 149 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,067 Do you guys remember when he was hot? 150 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,529 I missed you, babe. 151 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,869 Well, you know the old saying, 152 00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,996 you never really know a man until he karaokes. 153 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,207 You don't have to be enjoying this so much. 154 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,375 Where did Sam go? 155 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,044 Well, he certainly didn't tell me a secret 156 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,087 and go to the bar. 157 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,423 -What? -Sam's not gonna re-enlist. 158 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,717 What?! That's insane. 159 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,510 Not as insane as bringing your own guitar to karaoke, 160 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,220 but close. 161 00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,805 Alright, Stitch, let's cue up a little ditty 162 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,057 called American Pie. 163 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,602 I gotta see this. He brought headgear! 164 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,321 You're quitting the Navy?! 165 00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,531 I guess pinky promises mean nothing to Gabe. 166 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,993 I've dedicated 20 years of my life to the military, 167 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:33,995 and I'm ready for the next thing. 168 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:37,332 Oh, my God, Dad is gonna freak! When are you gonna tell him? 169 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,209 And can I be there? And possibly film it 170 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:41,002 and send it out as my Christmas card? 171 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,881 I'm waiting for the right moment. 172 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,133 Smart. 'Cause he is gonna be disappointed. 173 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,135 But just know, deep down, 174 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,471 he's also gonna be really furious. 175 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,473 You're not helping. 176 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,975 -And are you smiling? -What? 177 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,601 -No. Cheek cramp. -Yeah. 178 00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,938 But for real, I love you, and I will support you 179 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,648 every step of the way. 180 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,317 Not because I wanna see the golden boy crash and burn. 181 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,736 Like I said, for support. 182 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,493 - Good news. - Mm. 183 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,661 I just threw down my credit card. 184 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:17,497 We got three more hours. If I'm payin', I'm playin'! 185 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,378 Carter's coming. 186 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,046 I need to find out if he stole my video game. 187 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,881 -What do I do? -Okay. 188 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,341 You're just trying to gather intelligence. 189 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,136 Intelligence from Carter? Good luck. 190 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,556 Okay, establish a baseline of behavior 191 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,932 for when he's telling the truth. 192 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:39,102 And then look for deviations when the target is lying. 193 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,397 Hey, Carter. 194 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,691 -What time is it? -Let me check. 195 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,984 Time for you to get a watch. 196 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,698 Walked right into that one. 197 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,158 Carter, out! 198 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,212 See? 199 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,965 I can't play mind games when he doesn't have the parts. 200 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,343 Don't you moonwalk away from me! 201 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,054 Ugh! Stop shouting. 202 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,973 I drank so much last night. 203 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,267 I browned out between Andy doing Purple Rain 204 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,269 and Andy doing acoustic Purple Rain. 205 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:25,023 Yeah, that was the song that was formerly known as good. 206 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,778 Well, good morning, kids. Whoa. 207 00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,279 Wow, you look terrible. 208 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,157 And you smell worse. 209 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:39,120 Do we have to have another little "surprise party"? 210 00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,165 Don't say party. 211 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,001 Hey, you remember that admiral friend of mine? 212 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,753 Thinking maybe you guys could connect. 213 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,672 Maybe guide you through the process of becoming an admiral. 214 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,134 And, you know, suggest a good place to eat there in Yemen. 215 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,055 Thanks. Yeah, I'll, uh, I'll think about that. 216 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,766 Great. 217 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,650 Just throw up already. 218 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,324 Why didn't you say anything? 219 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,576 I told you, I'm waiting for the right moment. 220 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,829 Oh, no. The world’s bwavest man 221 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,956 is afwaid of Daddy! 222 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:26,167 You know, for a fun drunk, you're a mean hangover. 223 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,588 I'm just trying to be sensitive. Dad just lost Mom. 224 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,258 I don't want him losing his only good kid. 225 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,093 Hey! Well, fair. 226 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,680 But I appreciate your help and your support. 227 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,098 And I appreciate your help 228 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,766 directing me to the nearest trash can. 229 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:43,852 Oh, yeah. Here you... 230 00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:44,978 -Thank you. -...go. 231 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,398 Aw, this reminds me of your Junior Prom. 232 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,443 And your Senior Prom. 233 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,987 Oh! And your wedding. 234 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,160 I'm so proud of you, man. 235 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,494 And you're protecting us from communists, 236 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,204 whether it's in strange countries, 237 00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:04,330 or Brooklyn. 238 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,877 And, uh, my coffee protects doctors from falling asleep 239 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,253 in heart surgery. 240 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:11,796 You're welcome, America. 241 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,134 Hey, Unc, you got any cool battle scars? 242 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,302 Oh, yeah. Shrapnel. 243 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,596 And I stitched it up myself with dental floss. 244 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:20,972 Always be prepared. 245 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,308 See, this is why I don't waste it on my teeth. 246 00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:28,313 How do you have a girlfriend? 247 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,275 -Hold on. Excuse me. -Mm. Yeah. 248 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,944 How much fun was the other night? 249 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,696 We saw a whole other side of you, Andy. 250 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,156 And I liked it. 251 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,284 A lot. 252 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:44,495 I know, man. When I do karaoke, I just lose myself. 253 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:49,000 Ugh! I should’ve done Lose Yourself. 254 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,503 -You rap, too? -Pfft. 255 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,589 Man, save some talent for the rest of us. 256 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,718 Did, uh, did everyone get some champagne? 257 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,471 My dad wants you to know it's American, not French. 258 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,056 "It's half the price. 259 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,432 And the grapes aren't crushed by cowards." 260 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,227 You know, I'm good, Mom. 261 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,228 I found it a bit dry. Right? 262 00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,274 I've said too much. 263 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,153 None for me, thanks. 264 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,863 Just protecting the ole instrument. 265 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,700 Hey, Sam, I just talked to Admiral Masson. 266 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:23,785 Oh. 267 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,328 You never called him. 268 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,996 Time to come clean. 269 00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,874 Uh, look, Dad, I was waiting for the right moment 270 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,209 to tell you, 271 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,127 which I now realize was the car ride coming home 272 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,212 back from the airport. 273 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,630 Tell me what? 274 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,341 I've decided to retire from the Navy. 275 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,509 You tell him! 276 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,640 -To become an actor. -To do what? 277 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,148 Dang it! 278 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,109 I always clap at the wrong time. 279 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,528 - Can we talk for a minute? - Yeah. 280 00:12:58,528 --> 00:12:59,862 Excuse us. 281 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,364 -I need you to come with me. -Oh. 282 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:03,574 Listen, why do I have to hear this from the admiral? 283 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:05,868 Okay, Dad. Sorry, I didn't want to disappoint you. 284 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,870 But honestly, I didn't know how to tell you. 285 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,372 But you're made for this. 286 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,291 You got your analytic skills from your mom, 287 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,875 and look how far it's taken you. 288 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,795 Yeah, well, now I wanna follow my artistic side. 289 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,880 Look, lots of former military guys have gone on 290 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,424 to become successful actors. 291 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,009 Jimmy Stewart, Adam Driver... 292 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:22,218 Bea Arthur. 293 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,681 One of the Golden Girls! 294 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,017 Dad, I know this is a lot to take in, 295 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,935 but I'm serious about this. 296 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,895 I'm, uh, gonna sign up for improv classes. 297 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,230 Ooh! Phew. 298 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,148 Now, you're just trying to hurt me. 299 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,110 You're on a path to become an admiral in the Navy. 300 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,112 This is something you've wanted since you were a little boy. 301 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:43,114 Yeah, well, acting is not that different 302 00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,782 from what I do in Naval Intelligence. 303 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,784 I pretend to be people that I'm not all the time, 304 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,578 and I'm good at it. 305 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:52,915 I've done accents that would get me canceled stateside. 306 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:56,044 What I see is you throwing away a great career for nothing. 307 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,172 Sam just wants to follow his dream. 308 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,882 And we should support that. 309 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:02,508 Even if his dream is stupid. 310 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,263 You're gonna do great. 311 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,015 I can handle this on my own. 312 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,268 Oh, see? That was good acting. I almost believed him. 313 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,271 You want to see some good acting? 314 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,647 Hey, 315 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,816 I think this is a great idea. 316 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,948 That was actually pretty good. 317 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,413 Here, I gotta hurry. 318 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,957 A Girl Scout's selling cookies right next to me. 319 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,334 If she's there when I get back, 320 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,544 she better be ready to earn her bitch-slap badge. 321 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,506 Does she have a limit on how many boxes 322 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:43,174 of Do-si-dos you could buy? 323 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:45,134 It's not important. Totally unrelated, 324 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,344 I'll be right back. 325 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,473 -So, how's your brother doing. -Eh... 326 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,309 I'm used to my dad being upset. I've built up immunities. 327 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,813 But Sam's like an unvaccinated casino waitress in April 2020. 328 00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,816 Oh, wait, that was me. 329 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,652 I never didn't have COVID. 330 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,071 I tested positive every day for eight months. 331 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,117 Let me guess. We're still talking about Sam? 332 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,743 Ugh. I know you're upset. 333 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,370 Yeah, I'm upset. 334 00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,996 He's always wanted to be an admiral. 335 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,748 Now he's gonna just throw that all away? 336 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,043 Well, maybe he'll play one on TV. 337 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,045 On one of the channels you watch, like two, 338 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,755 or four, or seven. 339 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,382 Yeah. You know what? 340 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,093 Maybe he could play Cap'n Crunch's boss. 341 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,011 Wait, Cap'n Crunch isn't an admiral? 342 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,889 "Captain's" right in his name. 343 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,558 Chocula's still a count, right? 344 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,979 You know what, Dad? Why don't you just cut Sam off 345 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,730 like you did me for 15 years. 346 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,399 Or, crazy thought, 347 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,860 maybe for once in your life, be the mature one. 348 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,571 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go choke out a Girl Scout. 349 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,701 Stitch, you were in the service. 350 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,827 Be honest with me. 351 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,954 Do you think what Sam's doing is crazy? 352 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,956 Hey, come on, man, look, 353 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,833 the man knows what he wants to do with his life 354 00:15:58,833 --> 00:15:59,959 after the military. 355 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:03,296 Not everybody has that. I didn't. 356 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,673 You had a great second act. You came to work here. 357 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:08,468 Sam spent 20 years fighting for other people's freedom. 358 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,344 He deserves the same freedom 359 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,513 to do whatever the hell he wants. 360 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,932 To be an actor? 361 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,396 I don't think I can get used to Riley being the successful one. 362 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,982 You'd be surprised, man. 363 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:25,776 Your kids can make you proud in all sorts of ways. 364 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:28,529 Ding-dong! The witch is dead. 365 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:36,245 Andy, sorry, we have a strict "no music" policy. 366 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,830 The jerk next door always complains. 367 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,998 Your dad? 368 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,250 I said what I said. 369 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,212 You know what? That's actually why I came. 370 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,713 Oh, God. 371 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,632 Riley, 372 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,508 this one's for you. 373 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,303 What the hell? 374 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:54,055 I realized the other night 375 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,806 that I took it a little too far at karaoke. 376 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,934 And I just wanted to make things right. 377 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,269 It's not your fault. You have pretty privilege. 378 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:04,732 People let hot people do whatever they want. 379 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,733 It's why Idris Elba gets to be a DJ. 380 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:10,946 Well, after seeing many, many... 381 00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:13,324 God, many videos of myself online, 382 00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,326 I realized that I have been, uh... 383 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,371 What is the legal term? It is a... douche canoe. 384 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,580 You know what? 385 00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:22,124 I like that you're not good at something. 386 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,210 Thank you? 387 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,503 No. People like you and my brother 388 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,089 can be a little intimidating. 389 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,800 So, I kinda like that you're not perfect. 390 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,301 Oh. 391 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,886 Well, I kinda like that you're not perfect, too. 392 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,638 What? Okay, hold on. 393 00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,933 No, I mean, seriously, I ran a background check on you. 394 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:42,019 -Oh, God. Mm. -No. It's fine. 395 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,355 You do have an active warrant in Utah. 396 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,899 Yeah, well, not to brag, but I might have one here, too, 397 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,359 if that Girl Scout presses charges. 398 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,446 -You mind if I...? -Go ahead. 399 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,786 No! Look what they've done to my boy! 400 00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,205 Only one pepperoni left. You want it, Georgia? 401 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,293 No, Carter should have it. 402 00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,712 He's my brother, he deserves something nice. 403 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,630 Wait, you're being nice to him? 404 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,340 Okay, missy, I don't like this one bit. 405 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,927 She's trying to trick me. You have been all week. 406 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,470 -No I haven't. -Just admit it, 407 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,264 you want to know what happened to your video game. 408 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,433 -I think I'm entitled to it. -You want answers? 409 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,019 -I want the truth! -You can't handle the truth! 410 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,397 Zelda’s a free spirit. 411 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,899 She belongs to no man, woman, or forest nymph. 412 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,986 -So, you did take it! -You're damn right I did! 413 00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:36,574 'Cause you don't appreciate the nonlinear storytelling. 414 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,534 Or-- Or the catchy music. 415 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,494 You need me to play that game! 416 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,543 Cracked him like an egg. 417 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,005 That's it. She's the captain now. 418 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,800 Hey, Sam, can we talk for a minute? 419 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:55,885 Talk or yell? 420 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,470 I'll just clean up. 421 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,766 Look, Dad, I'm sorry I wasn't upfront with you, 422 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:03,934 but I've made my decision. 423 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,102 This is what I'm gonna do. 424 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,355 That's exactly what I said to my dad. 425 00:19:07,355 --> 00:19:09,148 Do you remember when your grandpa talked to me 426 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,650 about taking over the machine shop? 427 00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,902 Yeah. You wanted to be an industrial designer. 428 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,654 Right. We fought about it, 429 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,073 fought, fought, fought, he's a very stubborn man. 430 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,658 Hmm. Sounds like someone I know. 431 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,159 -Could we...? -Continue. 432 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:25,122 Listen, my dad passed before we had a chance 433 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,707 to patch up our differences like that. 434 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:27,917 It always stuck with me, 435 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,211 and I couldn't stop thinking about this. 436 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,714 You know, and I don't want that to be between the two of us. 437 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,841 Ah. Told you you should get that mole checked. 438 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,344 I'll stop. 439 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,014 I just want you to be happy. Period. 440 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:46,227 And if that means expressing your artistic side, like me, 441 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,978 and that art happens to be acting, 442 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,355 then, so be it, son. 443 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,524 - Thanks, Dad. - Yeah. 444 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,235 So, you don't think me wanting to be an actor is stupid? 445 00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,611 No. Huh-uh. 446 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,071 I think it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 447 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,324 But who knows? You might get cast 448 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,284 as the guy that's really in the Deadpool costume. 449 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,913 While Ryan Reynolds is getting his feet done in his trailer. 450 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,709 But I'm proud of you. 451 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,961 I have been, and I always will be, son. 452 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,047 You too, Riley. 453 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,300 You really turned your life around. 454 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:21,429 We're having a little moment here 455 00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,513 and you had to add yourself to it. 456 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,560 -Sorry. -Golden boy is back. 457 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,153 Contact. Right. 458 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,159 Talk to me, Goose. 459 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:43,993 Talk to me. 460 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,165 And scene. 461 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,962 Wow. That was... Wow! 462 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:58,048 It was great. 463 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,428 Wait. Why was he so upset about a goose? 464 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,806 Hey, Dad. 465 00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,224 What did you think? 466 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,144 I am not at liberty to say. 467 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:17,318 That was... That was beautiful, man. 468 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,739 Hey, thanks, buddy. 469 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,616 -You... Wow! -Thanks.