1 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,704 Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 2 00:00:07,789 --> 00:00:09,258 Jerry, I had sex with your wife. 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:10,301 Ohhh! 4 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,329 I did it! I fixed portal travel! 5 00:00:12,414 --> 00:00:14,446 Jack the Ripper, at your service. 6 00:00:14,531 --> 00:00:16,220 Cool! This happened too? 7 00:00:16,305 --> 00:00:17,222 I'm pregnant. 8 00:00:17,306 --> 00:00:18,974 Honey, she's just like you! 9 00:00:19,058 --> 00:00:20,935 It's raining meatballs! Okay, something is... 10 00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:23,520 Jerry Smith died doing what he loved... 11 00:00:23,604 --> 00:00:25,064 Getting stung by bees. 12 00:00:25,148 --> 00:00:26,315 Off. Off what? 13 00:00:26,399 --> 00:00:28,442 Have some respect. It's Dad's funeral. 14 00:00:28,526 --> 00:00:30,277 I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr. 15 00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:31,737 Thanks for solving that murder, guys. 16 00:00:31,821 --> 00:00:33,781 Here's a skateboard. Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk! 17 00:00:33,865 --> 00:00:35,240 - Morty, say you'll marry me! What? - What? 18 00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:36,883 Just say yes! Yes? 19 00:00:36,968 --> 00:00:39,063 Okay... Rick, do you promise to... 20 00:00:39,148 --> 00:00:41,119 I do, and for our honeymoon let's go to a sealed chamber 21 00:00:41,203 --> 00:00:43,055 lined with ionized deuterium! Why? 22 00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,042 Because the charge acts as a narrative decelerant. 23 00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,377 Morty, none of this is real. 24 00:00:46,462 --> 00:00:48,586 We're in a "previously on" spiral. Clear your head. 25 00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:50,214 After all that's happened?! No. 26 00:00:50,298 --> 00:00:52,841 I-I'm innocent! I didn't release those bees! 27 00:00:52,925 --> 00:00:53,842 I love Jerry! 28 00:00:53,926 --> 00:00:55,511 What'd I just say? When? 29 00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:58,013 Okay, great execution. [ Burps ] Let's go back to the chamber. 30 00:00:58,097 --> 00:01:01,100 Now repeat after me, Morty... "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 31 00:01:01,184 --> 00:01:02,768 Next time on "Rick and Morty"? 32 00:01:02,852 --> 00:01:04,770 No. Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 33 00:01:04,854 --> 00:01:07,272 Ignore it, Morty. "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 34 00:01:07,356 --> 00:01:08,607 It counteracts his toxins. 35 00:01:08,691 --> 00:01:10,526 Next time on "Rick and Morty." Whose toxins? 36 00:01:10,610 --> 00:01:11,944 Previous Leon: Hey, stop it! 37 00:01:12,028 --> 00:01:13,320 Previous Leon! Grab him! 38 00:01:13,404 --> 00:01:14,989 [ Grunting ] Hold on tight, Morty! 39 00:01:15,073 --> 00:01:17,032 We got to get through the opening titles! 40 00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,575 Morty: Opening titles of what? 41 00:01:18,659 --> 00:01:20,619 - Whoa! We're in space! - Previous Leon: Let go of me! Ow! 42 00:01:20,703 --> 00:01:23,288 [ Indistinct shouting ] 43 00:01:23,372 --> 00:01:25,541 Morty: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 44 00:01:25,625 --> 00:01:27,835 [ Grunting ] 45 00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:29,294 What planet is this? 46 00:01:29,378 --> 00:01:30,629 Cover your eyes on this part. 47 00:01:30,713 --> 00:01:33,465 Rick: Oh, my god, it's a giant squirrel! 48 00:01:33,549 --> 00:01:35,342 Why are we dressed like old-timey people? 49 00:01:35,426 --> 00:01:37,636 What the hell's going on? 50 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,804 [ Indistinct shouting ] 51 00:01:38,888 --> 00:01:40,180 Why is my dad in a suit? 52 00:01:40,264 --> 00:01:42,683 Rick: Best episode! Morty: Why am I butter? 53 00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:43,851 Okay, we're almost through. 54 00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:45,477 Ohh! Ohh! 55 00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:46,937 ♪♪ 56 00:01:47,021 --> 00:01:48,064 Ow! 57 00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:52,443 Ugh, and we're back! 58 00:01:52,527 --> 00:01:53,485 Stop! 59 00:01:53,569 --> 00:01:54,653 Let go of me! What just happened? 60 00:01:54,737 --> 00:01:57,114 Why was there music? 61 00:01:57,198 --> 00:01:59,241 Because of this conceptual little piece of shit! 62 00:01:59,325 --> 00:02:00,659 Grab his feet! 63 00:02:00,743 --> 00:02:02,995 If we have opening titles, d-does that mean that we're a... 64 00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,872 Let your body purge the meta-venom, Morty. 65 00:02:04,956 --> 00:02:07,124 Don't succumb to his pointless self-aware bullshit. 66 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,209 It's not pointless, it's cool! 67 00:02:09,293 --> 00:02:12,296 He's got a gun! Eat lead, pussy! 68 00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:14,506 No, no, no! 69 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,674 Fuck! 70 00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:18,177 Oh! 71 00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:19,219 Son of a... 72 00:02:19,303 --> 00:02:20,512 Did he use a portal? He wishes. 73 00:02:20,596 --> 00:02:21,847 He wriggled back to the meta layer 74 00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,057 through a hole in the fourth wall. 75 00:02:23,141 --> 00:02:24,475 Put these on and help me find it. 76 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,479 I-I don't like this, Rick. 77 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:30,439 Yeah, you shouldn't. It's not a likable premise. 78 00:02:30,523 --> 00:02:32,691 I mean it's funny when I do a little nod to the viewers, but... 79 00:02:32,775 --> 00:02:34,777 What viewers?! That's the right attitude, Morty. 80 00:02:34,861 --> 00:02:36,862 A few carefree verbal asides, always by me. 81 00:02:36,946 --> 00:02:39,281 None of this season-three "Moonlighting" shit. 82 00:02:39,365 --> 00:02:40,365 Okay, here it is. 83 00:02:40,449 --> 00:02:41,617 You're going to... to patch it? 84 00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:43,327 No, he subverted actual reality, Morty. 85 00:02:43,411 --> 00:02:46,371 [ Burps ] He needs to be put down like a rabid dog. 86 00:02:46,455 --> 00:02:54,213 ♪♪ 87 00:02:54,297 --> 00:02:55,714 Ow! Fuck! 88 00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:57,800 Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna wear those over here. 89 00:02:59,343 --> 00:03:00,677 Maybe he went down that road? 90 00:03:00,761 --> 00:03:02,596 No, no, no. If he took that, he'd end up a hero. 91 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,389 Damn it, Rick. I don't like this. 92 00:03:04,473 --> 00:03:05,599 I-Is this whole place just... 93 00:03:05,683 --> 00:03:07,226 A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay 94 00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:09,186 for seven TV critics that won't even enjoy it? 95 00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:10,687 It's worse than you think, Morty. 96 00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,272 We're basting in meta radiation right now. 97 00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:14,316 Our credibility is being permanently eroded. 98 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,609 Every second we spend here 99 00:03:15,693 --> 00:03:17,444 is the equivalent to 10 "Space Jam" cameos. 100 00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:19,822 You should have thought of that... previously! 101 00:03:19,906 --> 00:03:20,906 Get him! 102 00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:23,408 ♪♪ 103 00:03:23,492 --> 00:03:26,203 Ow! Ow! 104 00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:27,412 Oh, no! 105 00:03:27,496 --> 00:03:29,331 Bless me, Heavenly Father, for you will save me. 106 00:03:29,415 --> 00:03:31,500 Now I feel bad. Let's just get out of here. 107 00:03:31,584 --> 00:03:32,751 Because he prays? 108 00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:34,962 You know Hitler was Catholic, right? 109 00:03:35,046 --> 00:03:36,088 I'm here, Leon. 110 00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,256 Uhh... Okay. 111 00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:39,133 He apparently prays very well. 112 00:03:39,217 --> 00:03:41,051 Time for you two to meet the Lord. 113 00:03:41,135 --> 00:03:42,177 That's okay, we're good. 114 00:03:42,261 --> 00:03:43,595 Treat it like a bear attack. 115 00:03:43,679 --> 00:03:45,681 Just walk backwards and make yourself look big. 116 00:03:45,765 --> 00:03:48,642 I love a good refusal of the call. 117 00:03:48,726 --> 00:03:50,477 Hello, Rick. 118 00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,354 Hello... Amish Juggler? 119 00:03:52,438 --> 00:03:54,565 His name is Story Lord. 120 00:03:54,649 --> 00:03:56,066 Story... Lord? 121 00:03:56,150 --> 00:03:57,651 Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler. 122 00:03:57,735 --> 00:03:59,194 You can have it. Story Lord. 123 00:03:59,278 --> 00:04:01,780 Rick, h-he's the villain from that toy train I bought you. 124 00:04:01,864 --> 00:04:03,115 Very good, Morty. 125 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,867 The fictional versions of you trapped me 126 00:04:04,951 --> 00:04:07,119 in a Bible show for children, but I used make-believe Christ 127 00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:10,289 to transcend fiction and enter meta-reality. 128 00:04:10,373 --> 00:04:12,791 Now I'm the one doing the trapping. 129 00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:14,376 Leon was the bait. 130 00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:15,919 Bait?! Jesus? 131 00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:17,754 Aaah! 132 00:04:17,838 --> 00:04:18,881 Aah! 133 00:04:18,965 --> 00:04:22,009 Don't ever...! Dumb mother...! 134 00:04:22,969 --> 00:04:25,137 [ Grunting ] 135 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,513 You're using Jesus to beat us up? 136 00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:27,931 Have you seen "South Park"? 137 00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:29,141 Good call-out, Morty. 138 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,642 That's the kind of meta I like, 139 00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:32,853 the kind that keeps us creatively accountable. 140 00:04:32,937 --> 00:04:36,398 Oh, God. Not the Bane. Not the Bane! 141 00:04:36,482 --> 00:04:40,694 He Baned me, Morty. Oh, Jesus Baned me. 142 00:04:40,778 --> 00:04:43,906 Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm... I'm... I'm technically a Christian child! 143 00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:45,908 And I'm your worst nightmare. 144 00:04:45,992 --> 00:04:48,202 I'm the Jesus from every Jesus joke. 145 00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:49,411 The one without a God. 146 00:04:49,495 --> 00:04:52,039 Morty! Take this and get out! 147 00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:53,832 Thank you. 148 00:04:53,916 --> 00:04:56,043 Looks like Story Lord's story is about to become... 149 00:04:56,127 --> 00:04:57,669 based on real events. 150 00:04:57,753 --> 00:04:58,879 What do you want with that? 151 00:04:58,963 --> 00:05:00,631 I want what any character wants. 152 00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:01,965 Motivation! 153 00:05:02,049 --> 00:05:03,342 What? [ Burps ] That's dumb. 154 00:05:03,426 --> 00:05:04,468 So lazy! 155 00:05:04,552 --> 00:05:08,513 Forward your notes to my ass! 156 00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:09,932 Wait, what? He just left. 157 00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:12,684 Kind of makes you want to be our unlikely ally, huh? 158 00:05:12,768 --> 00:05:13,727 Oh, I guess not. 159 00:05:13,811 --> 00:05:15,187 [ Squelches ] [ Groans ] 160 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:18,690 Previously, on Jesus Christ... 161 00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,317 Hey, I'm Jesus. I'm Mary. 162 00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:22,486 That's my mom's name! Stop. [ Laughs ] 163 00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:23,654 Dude, she's a hooker. 164 00:05:23,738 --> 00:05:25,739 She's a better disciple than you! 165 00:05:25,823 --> 00:05:28,659 Ow! Aw! Owww! 166 00:05:28,743 --> 00:05:31,745 [ Gasps ] Oh, no. 167 00:05:31,829 --> 00:05:33,080 I can't die. 168 00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:35,666 [ French accent ] I 'ave a proposition for you. 169 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,209 I work alone. 170 00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:42,464 If I suck-a your blood, I'll be invincible! 171 00:05:42,548 --> 00:05:44,258 I think! You'll never know. 172 00:05:44,342 --> 00:05:45,550 Aah! 173 00:05:45,634 --> 00:05:47,803 Billionaire immortal entrepreneur Jesus Christ 174 00:05:47,887 --> 00:05:50,514 has placed all his money into what he's calling 175 00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:52,391 a "second chance at love." 176 00:05:52,475 --> 00:05:54,059 Hang on, Mary! 177 00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:56,895 The data! So beautiful! 178 00:05:56,979 --> 00:05:59,648 Make me normal, witch. 179 00:05:59,732 --> 00:06:02,985 Take it all! 180 00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:05,070 Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ. 181 00:06:05,154 --> 00:06:06,154 What are you smiling at? 182 00:06:06,238 --> 00:06:08,740 [ Chuckles ] Your name. 183 00:06:08,824 --> 00:06:11,201 [ Monitor beeping ] 184 00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:12,703 What's happening, Rick? 185 00:06:12,787 --> 00:06:14,413 Leon's venom makes you think more and more of your life 186 00:06:14,497 --> 00:06:18,458 is behind you as he feeds on your released potential. 187 00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,335 Leon, y-you saved our lives! 188 00:06:20,419 --> 00:06:21,586 Oh, not yet he hasn't. 189 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:22,796 Jeez, Rick! So mean! 190 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,589 He's meta, Morty. His life doesn't matter. 191 00:06:24,673 --> 00:06:26,967 Yours does. That's why we need to get back. 192 00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:30,012 Well, this doesn't feel like a citadel. 193 00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:34,141 Uh, maybe it's cooler on the inside. 194 00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:37,144 [ Gasps ] This isn't what it looks like. 195 00:06:37,228 --> 00:06:39,604 This is a very special diet for successful writers. 196 00:06:39,688 --> 00:06:41,440 Why do you look like my character? 197 00:06:41,524 --> 00:06:45,319 I am your character! And you are going to improve me. 198 00:06:45,403 --> 00:06:47,154 But you're Story Lord. You're great. 199 00:06:47,238 --> 00:06:48,822 Great isn't good enough! 200 00:06:48,906 --> 00:06:51,616 I've killed Rick and made myself real! 201 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,369 I'm better than some shitty toy train. 202 00:06:54,453 --> 00:06:56,204 Is this your office or your apartment? 203 00:06:56,288 --> 00:06:58,123 Why does it smell like you sleep here? 204 00:06:58,207 --> 00:07:00,292 You're my creator. Why are you pathetic? 205 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,711 Because you failed! And whose fault is that? 206 00:07:02,795 --> 00:07:04,129 What the hell happened? 207 00:07:04,213 --> 00:07:05,881 You want to know what happened? Like, specifically? 208 00:07:05,965 --> 00:07:08,467 Well, the Ricks wanted to do a "Canterbury Tales" -type thing, 209 00:07:08,551 --> 00:07:09,801 but none of them have actually read 210 00:07:09,885 --> 00:07:11,053 fucking "Canterbury Tales." 211 00:07:11,137 --> 00:07:12,512 So then they told me to make it like 212 00:07:12,596 --> 00:07:14,014 the poker-game episode of the Batman cartoon 213 00:07:14,098 --> 00:07:16,016 where the bad guys tell stories about Batman. 214 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:18,143 Then they kept telling me it "needed something." 215 00:07:18,227 --> 00:07:19,978 Yeah, no shit, it needed something! 216 00:07:20,062 --> 00:07:23,148 It needed to never be pitched! I did my job! 217 00:07:23,232 --> 00:07:25,817 Goomby, the Ice Queen, the Tickets Please guy. 218 00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:27,110 They just bailed on it! 219 00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:28,487 The website didn't even fucking work! 220 00:07:28,571 --> 00:07:30,364 And it was a shitty URL to begin with, 221 00:07:30,448 --> 00:07:33,492 "Story-dash-train"? Who uses a dash? 222 00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:35,660 They set me up to fail. They fucked me! 223 00:07:35,744 --> 00:07:38,580 They fucked me and you're lucky I haven't blown my brains out! 224 00:07:38,664 --> 00:07:41,500 Right. Just give me a motivation, you hacky fart. 225 00:07:41,584 --> 00:07:43,001 Okay, here's your motivation. 226 00:07:43,085 --> 00:07:46,838 You're looking for motivation. You want all the motivation. 227 00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:49,299 That's lazy. It got you this far. 228 00:07:49,383 --> 00:07:50,717 Must be nice, by the way. 229 00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:52,761 Wish I could afford to dress like a bisexual acting coach 230 00:07:52,845 --> 00:07:54,096 from the '70s. 231 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:57,224 My motivation... is motivation. 232 00:07:57,308 --> 00:07:58,642 Okay. Bye. 233 00:07:58,726 --> 00:08:02,396 Oh, no, my bitter friend. You're coming with me. 234 00:08:04,106 --> 00:08:06,691 Yo! If you don't see me coming, it's a bad fortress! 235 00:08:06,775 --> 00:08:08,819 [ Gate opens ] 236 00:08:08,903 --> 00:08:10,153 Where are we? 237 00:08:10,237 --> 00:08:11,988 Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six. 238 00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:13,198 They're meta nerds that found out 239 00:08:13,282 --> 00:08:14,825 they could be less bearable as a team. 240 00:08:14,909 --> 00:08:16,159 They can help us? 241 00:08:16,243 --> 00:08:17,536 No, but there's a prisoner here that can. 242 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:18,745 Shh. Don't tell them that. 243 00:08:18,829 --> 00:08:20,080 Rick Sanchez. 244 00:08:20,164 --> 00:08:22,332 I've been waiting for this moment for years. 245 00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:25,460 Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss... Lead. 246 00:08:25,544 --> 00:08:27,755 I should kill you where you stand. 247 00:08:28,923 --> 00:08:30,340 I brought you Previous Leon. 248 00:08:30,424 --> 00:08:32,259 You'll want to lock him up in your detention center. 249 00:08:32,343 --> 00:08:34,094 It's a trick! He wants your prisoner! 250 00:08:34,178 --> 00:08:35,512 You dick. Liar! 251 00:08:35,596 --> 00:08:38,098 Talk about a mislead. Anti-meta field. 252 00:08:38,182 --> 00:08:39,266 Fancy device. 253 00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:41,560 I think I can recall the time you built it. 254 00:08:41,644 --> 00:08:43,145 Don't try it, Flash Back! 255 00:08:45,189 --> 00:08:47,524 You know, I-I'm excited about the upcoming election. 256 00:08:47,608 --> 00:08:50,235 This force field will be impenetrable by meta-energy. 257 00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:52,028 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 258 00:08:52,112 --> 00:08:53,363 Hmmm. 259 00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,574 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 260 00:08:55,658 --> 00:08:58,577 A few barrels of petroleum should dampen it. 261 00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:00,954 [ Chuckles ] Run, Morty! 262 00:09:01,038 --> 00:09:02,581 Were those not there before? 263 00:09:02,665 --> 00:09:06,626 Guess there's been a... Connie TinuityError. 264 00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:09,088 These people are the worst! I told you! Way overpowered! 265 00:09:10,214 --> 00:09:11,131 [ Alarm blaring ] 266 00:09:11,215 --> 00:09:12,340 Look out, Rick! 267 00:09:12,424 --> 00:09:14,218 Forget him. He's a nameless guard. 268 00:09:15,844 --> 00:09:17,262 That's Protago Nick. 269 00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:19,746 His beam has the power to make any character the protagonist. 270 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,726 D-Duck! 271 00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,436 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 272 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,438 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 273 00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,440 Gah! What are you doing, Marvin?! 274 00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,734 Not dying, that's what I'm doing. 275 00:09:30,818 --> 00:09:33,320 Oh, what's going on? What happened? 276 00:09:33,404 --> 00:09:35,989 I did it again, Katie. I ran out on another job. 277 00:09:36,073 --> 00:09:39,993 Well, if you didn't do that, you wouldn't be my man. 278 00:09:40,077 --> 00:09:47,125 ♪♪ 279 00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:54,299 ♪♪ 280 00:09:54,383 --> 00:09:56,468 I was almost tempted to just let it go. 281 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,428 That's how much I hate it here. 282 00:09:58,512 --> 00:09:59,971 Smash cut! 283 00:10:00,055 --> 00:10:01,389 Remember me, Rick? 284 00:10:01,473 --> 00:10:02,432 Who's this guy, now? 285 00:10:02,516 --> 00:10:04,809 I am Mr. Twist. 286 00:10:04,893 --> 00:10:07,437 The fifth member of the Self-Referential Six. 287 00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:08,522 Who's the sixth? 288 00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:10,815 That's the twist, Morty. It's you. 289 00:10:10,899 --> 00:10:11,983 What? Ignore him, Morty. 290 00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:13,485 The twist is there's no sixth member 291 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:14,611 and he tells that to everybody. 292 00:10:14,695 --> 00:10:16,196 In any case, you're ours now. 293 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,908 You can't free yourself without a twist, and I control them. 294 00:10:19,992 --> 00:10:21,660 You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist. 295 00:10:21,744 --> 00:10:24,329 I've got a twist for you. Impossible! What is it? 296 00:10:24,413 --> 00:10:26,456 Aah! Aha! Nice try! 297 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,459 Like I didn't see that coming. 298 00:10:29,668 --> 00:10:31,879 Fuck me. 299 00:10:32,713 --> 00:10:34,631 Great work, Morty! I'm adapting! 300 00:10:34,715 --> 00:10:36,007 Here's our ticket out of here. 301 00:10:36,091 --> 00:10:37,509 They got him in a cell made out of sports 302 00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,094 because it's the opposite of story. 303 00:10:39,178 --> 00:10:40,470 Do I want to ask who he is? 304 00:10:40,554 --> 00:10:42,180 His name is Brett Caan. 305 00:10:42,264 --> 00:10:44,808 He has the power to make things always have been other things. 306 00:10:44,892 --> 00:10:46,184 I think that's called retconning. 307 00:10:46,268 --> 00:10:47,686 B-But his name's Brett Caan? 308 00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:50,230 I mean, Rhett's a name too. His name could be Rhett Caan. 309 00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:53,191 It is. And always has been... now. 310 00:10:53,275 --> 00:10:54,693 Whoa. Careful, Morty. 311 00:10:54,777 --> 00:10:56,236 Stay clear of his retcon range. 312 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,362 Until he agrees to help us. 313 00:10:57,446 --> 00:10:59,739 Rick, you've always trusted me. 314 00:10:59,823 --> 00:11:01,825 Nice try. Here's how it's gonna work. 315 00:11:01,909 --> 00:11:03,868 You're gonna make it so Morty and I never came here. 316 00:11:03,952 --> 00:11:05,870 Once that's always been the case, 317 00:11:05,954 --> 00:11:07,122 I'll free you remotely with this. 318 00:11:07,206 --> 00:11:08,999 What is my purpose? 319 00:11:09,083 --> 00:11:10,875 To wait until I tell you to pull that lever. 320 00:11:10,959 --> 00:11:12,127 You are fucking kidding me. 321 00:11:12,211 --> 00:11:13,670 If you don't free me right now, Rick, 322 00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:15,797 I can make very, very bad things 323 00:11:15,881 --> 00:11:17,549 always have been the case for you. 324 00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:18,717 Is that a threat, you fuck? 325 00:11:18,801 --> 00:11:21,553 Y-Y-You can rot in there. Rick. 326 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,054 You know what, Rhett? Forget what I said. 327 00:11:23,138 --> 00:11:24,556 We've always been friends. 328 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,016 Good one. 329 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,225 Whoa, easy, Rhett. 330 00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:29,686 Don't forget that coffee mug I gave you. 331 00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,939 You always were able to be killed with coffee. 332 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:35,317 Aaah! 333 00:11:35,401 --> 00:11:37,235 New plan. Run. Again. 334 00:11:37,319 --> 00:11:39,404 The twist being... 335 00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:42,032 You were born without bones. 336 00:11:42,116 --> 00:11:43,575 See ya never! 337 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,035 [ Laughs ] 338 00:11:45,119 --> 00:11:47,829 There's never been anything outside this fortress. 339 00:11:47,913 --> 00:11:49,122 God damn it! 340 00:11:49,206 --> 00:11:53,919 And this fortress has always been an orange! 341 00:11:55,754 --> 00:11:57,589 Pluh! Great plan, Rick! 342 00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,090 Yeah, I'm not pushing back on that, Morty, 343 00:11:59,174 --> 00:12:00,634 I have royally fucked us. 344 00:12:02,511 --> 00:12:03,845 Ugh! It hurts. 345 00:12:03,929 --> 00:12:05,555 We've been past the fourth wall too long. 346 00:12:05,639 --> 00:12:07,349 We won't be real much longer. 347 00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:09,100 You killed us, Rick. 348 00:12:09,184 --> 00:12:12,062 You just had to hate meta storytelling. [ Groans ] 349 00:12:12,146 --> 00:12:13,271 In my defense, Morty, 350 00:12:13,355 --> 00:12:15,565 I think you can agree my hate was justified. 351 00:12:15,649 --> 00:12:16,691 Ohh! 352 00:12:16,775 --> 00:12:22,113 Least... earned... death... ever... 353 00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:25,492 ♪♪ 354 00:12:25,576 --> 00:12:28,203 Death is a threshold. 355 00:12:28,287 --> 00:12:32,791 ♪♪ 356 00:12:32,875 --> 00:12:34,918 Ugh! What... What happened? 357 00:12:35,002 --> 00:12:36,002 You atoned. 358 00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:37,462 Who... Who are you? 359 00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:39,756 I'm Joseph Campbell. Soup? 360 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,926 I almost considered not making it because my name is Campbell, 361 00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:45,512 but then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe. 362 00:12:45,596 --> 00:12:46,680 Follow your bliss. 363 00:12:46,764 --> 00:12:47,847 How are you here? 364 00:12:47,931 --> 00:12:49,307 R-Rhett Caan said there was nothing. 365 00:12:49,391 --> 00:12:51,393 Some things never change about mythology. 366 00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:53,687 There's always an old man with soup. 367 00:12:53,771 --> 00:12:55,980 Name one story that doesn't have one. 368 00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:58,525 Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk. "Basketball Diaries." 369 00:12:58,609 --> 00:12:59,984 Every "Matrix." Every movie ever. 370 00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:01,820 Alright, I don't have to defend myself to you people. 371 00:13:01,904 --> 00:13:03,571 Where's my soup? [ Coughs ] 372 00:13:03,655 --> 00:13:05,573 Rick: Previous Fuckin' Leon. 373 00:13:05,657 --> 00:13:07,492 Why is that prick here? 374 00:13:07,576 --> 00:13:09,077 No more a prick than you, friend. 375 00:13:09,161 --> 00:13:11,496 Meta characters erode reality. 376 00:13:11,580 --> 00:13:13,665 But all characters are meta, Rick. 377 00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:16,584 All of us are nourished and consumed by chaos, 378 00:13:16,668 --> 00:13:19,045 like newborns at the breast of a meth addict 379 00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:20,755 in a lifeboat filled with forks. 380 00:13:20,839 --> 00:13:22,549 I know what you have to do, Rick. 381 00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:24,175 Scrub Campbell's browser history? 382 00:13:24,259 --> 00:13:26,261 Just trust Previous Leon. 383 00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:28,346 Could you previously us a way home? 384 00:13:28,430 --> 00:13:31,641 Uh, well, I'll sure enjoy trying. 385 00:13:31,725 --> 00:13:32,767 Yeah, I bet you would. 386 00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:34,602 Rick can't change, Morty. 387 00:13:34,686 --> 00:13:37,188 Change is what you might call his Kryptonite. 388 00:13:37,272 --> 00:13:38,857 Except instead of being super, 389 00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:41,776 he's, you know, kind of a pussy. 390 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:42,986 Let's do it. 391 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,489 Previously, on Rick... 392 00:13:46,573 --> 00:13:48,199 [ Squelching ] Morty: Get him off! Get him off! 393 00:13:48,283 --> 00:13:49,159 [ Ceramic breaks ] Oh, boy. 394 00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:50,535 He almost killed you! 395 00:13:50,619 --> 00:13:52,537 Okay, well, I feel bad, 396 00:13:52,621 --> 00:13:54,372 I kind of pressured you into trying that. 397 00:13:54,456 --> 00:13:56,332 You called me a pussy. I said I feel bad! 398 00:13:56,416 --> 00:14:00,712 This is a map to a region rich in narrative ore. 399 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:02,547 I wish you the best of luck. 400 00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:05,717 Faster, Morty! I'd help, but I can't blister my inventing hands. 401 00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,135 How long will it take? Years. 402 00:14:07,219 --> 00:14:08,636 You can live in my wood shed. 403 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,097 Just don't open the door after dark. Why not? 404 00:14:11,181 --> 00:14:13,266 Get out here, you Communist Jews! 405 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,059 Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic. 406 00:14:15,143 --> 00:14:18,354 I know, right? You fucking "Back to the Future" rip-offs! 407 00:14:18,438 --> 00:14:19,773 It's ready. 408 00:14:19,857 --> 00:14:20,774 Rick, I should stay. 409 00:14:20,858 --> 00:14:22,233 Why? I'm pregnant. 410 00:14:22,317 --> 00:14:24,569 What are you doing? It wasn't him, Rick! Then who?! 411 00:14:24,653 --> 00:14:26,404 Me! I never left. 412 00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:28,740 But you had to think all this happened to make that. 413 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,450 And I can get this through the titles? 414 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:31,826 If you hang on tight. 415 00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:33,745 What about my beard and unborn child? 416 00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,789 Let them go. Thank you, Leon. 417 00:14:35,873 --> 00:14:36,956 When you get home, Rick, 418 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,583 do some classic adventures. 419 00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,794 Like season one... I'm so sick of that fucking note. 420 00:14:40,878 --> 00:14:43,839 What the fuck does it even mean? 421 00:14:47,426 --> 00:14:49,677 Ohh! 422 00:14:49,761 --> 00:14:52,430 Now, one last time. 423 00:14:52,514 --> 00:14:54,557 What's my motivation? Motivation. 424 00:14:54,641 --> 00:14:57,602 This machine will siphon it from everyone in the universe. 425 00:14:57,686 --> 00:15:00,104 Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it. 426 00:15:00,188 --> 00:15:02,982 [ Grunting ] 427 00:15:03,066 --> 00:15:04,651 Oh, I think it's working! 428 00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:06,069 Yes, I can feel it! 429 00:15:06,153 --> 00:15:08,947 Something I did is actually affecting someone! 430 00:15:09,031 --> 00:15:12,367 ♪♪ 431 00:15:12,451 --> 00:15:13,868 I don't want to work anymore. 432 00:15:13,952 --> 00:15:17,956 I do, but only as an excuse to not practice guitar. 433 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,210 ♪♪ 434 00:15:22,294 --> 00:15:25,213 Why don't we just write any number down on the score sheet? 435 00:15:25,297 --> 00:15:26,589 Oh, why even do that? 436 00:15:26,673 --> 00:15:28,174 [ Telephone rings ] 437 00:15:28,258 --> 00:15:30,510 ♪♪ 438 00:15:30,594 --> 00:15:32,428 Wait, you have to register? 439 00:15:32,512 --> 00:15:34,639 Yes! I can feel it! 440 00:15:34,723 --> 00:15:37,308 I'm so motivated! 441 00:15:37,392 --> 00:15:40,061 I want... a lot! 442 00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:41,312 [ Portal opens ] 443 00:15:41,396 --> 00:15:42,981 Story time's over. 444 00:15:43,065 --> 00:15:44,649 Ha! Hardly your decision. 445 00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:48,152 Did you seriously double down on motivation as your motivation? 446 00:15:48,236 --> 00:15:49,362 It's a good idea! 447 00:15:49,446 --> 00:15:50,488 There's no such thing! 448 00:15:50,572 --> 00:15:51,990 There's joyful and there's joyless, 449 00:15:52,074 --> 00:15:53,324 and we've had our fill of one. 450 00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,118 Morty, make that sweaty writer stop working 451 00:15:55,202 --> 00:15:57,078 while I kill off his character. 452 00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:01,040 I have never been more driven to destroy someone. 453 00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,625 Yeah, well, I'm driven to lower my blood sugar 454 00:16:02,709 --> 00:16:05,337 but guess who's getting tacos after he kicks your ass? 455 00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:08,590 So you're jacked. Who cares? 456 00:16:08,674 --> 00:16:10,091 [ Chuckles ] Cum gutters. 457 00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:12,510 I don't like that phrase. I don't take notes. 458 00:16:12,594 --> 00:16:15,389 [ Both roaring ] 459 00:16:17,641 --> 00:16:19,142 You can't beat me, Rick. 460 00:16:19,226 --> 00:16:21,728 I have one million times your motivation! 461 00:16:21,812 --> 00:16:25,190 So do those guys with the cellphone kiosks at the mall. 462 00:16:26,274 --> 00:16:28,067 [ Both grunting ] 463 00:16:28,151 --> 00:16:34,782 ♪♪ 464 00:16:34,866 --> 00:16:41,539 ♪♪ 465 00:16:41,623 --> 00:16:49,213 ♪♪ 466 00:16:49,297 --> 00:16:50,256 [ Squeaking ] 467 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:51,507 The hair is wrong. 468 00:16:51,591 --> 00:16:53,426 Like you'd be picky about licensing. 469 00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:56,221 Actually, I would. I happen to believe that... 470 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,724 [ Groans ] 471 00:16:59,808 --> 00:17:02,060 [ Grunts, laughs ] 472 00:17:02,144 --> 00:17:03,394 You can do that? 473 00:17:03,478 --> 00:17:04,771 You got to want it. 474 00:17:04,855 --> 00:17:07,231 Come on, just stop. I-I don't want to fight you. 475 00:17:07,315 --> 00:17:09,984 Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful. 476 00:17:10,068 --> 00:17:11,569 So if you want me to give it up, 477 00:17:11,653 --> 00:17:13,738 you're gonna need a black belt or a big pair of tits. 478 00:17:13,822 --> 00:17:15,031 Yeah, well, I don't have those. 479 00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:17,325 Campbell: In the mythical sense, I have both. 480 00:17:17,409 --> 00:17:18,451 Joseph Campbell? 481 00:17:18,535 --> 00:17:20,078 Yeah, nice try. He died in the '80s. 482 00:17:20,162 --> 00:17:22,497 Only you can see and hear me, Morty. 483 00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:23,623 Just repeat what I tell you. 484 00:17:23,707 --> 00:17:25,750 Okay. [ Clears throat ] 485 00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:28,544 Sir, you're only proud of your creation's success 486 00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:30,254 because you want to be creative, 487 00:17:30,338 --> 00:17:32,382 but creation doesn't happen through gimmicks, 488 00:17:32,466 --> 00:17:33,925 technology, and distribution. 489 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,677 It doesn't even happen through work. 490 00:17:35,761 --> 00:17:38,930 Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental illness and overlaps 491 00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,181 with it substantially. 492 00:17:40,265 --> 00:17:41,766 A lot of talented people kill themselves 493 00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,267 and all of them are miserable. 494 00:17:43,351 --> 00:17:45,770 The real gift is to be ungifted, 495 00:17:45,854 --> 00:17:48,273 and from what I saw in your Green Arrow spec script, 496 00:17:48,357 --> 00:17:49,816 that's the gift you were given. 497 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,484 You couldn't have seen that. 498 00:17:51,568 --> 00:17:53,528 I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it. 499 00:17:53,612 --> 00:17:54,737 The villain was a placeholder. 500 00:17:54,821 --> 00:17:56,072 I said I saw it, Jan. 501 00:17:56,156 --> 00:17:57,907 I didn't say I could get past page five. 502 00:17:57,991 --> 00:17:59,617 Y-Your villains aren't the problem. 503 00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:02,453 The problem is, when you write, you're a villain. 504 00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:05,081 If you want to be a hero, just stop. 505 00:18:05,165 --> 00:18:07,667 [ Sniffles, sobs ] 506 00:18:11,213 --> 00:18:14,799 You know what? Maybe I will register. 507 00:18:14,883 --> 00:18:18,512 Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus! 508 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,306 Oh, looks like your writer took a hiatus. 509 00:18:22,390 --> 00:18:23,683 Oh, fuck. 510 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,435 You're less motivated to fight now, 511 00:18:25,519 --> 00:18:28,021 so this is literally punching down, but you've got it coming. 512 00:18:28,105 --> 00:18:30,481 [ Groaning ] 513 00:18:30,565 --> 00:18:32,358 Please, let me live. 514 00:18:32,442 --> 00:18:33,818 I promise to be cooler. 515 00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:37,321 I'll be less inside baseball. Maybe I change my name? 516 00:18:37,405 --> 00:18:38,405 Ow! 517 00:18:39,908 --> 00:18:41,409 You failed me. 518 00:18:41,493 --> 00:18:44,370 No, I failed you. 519 00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:45,663 [ Coughs ] 520 00:18:45,747 --> 00:18:49,292 All good things must come to an end- 521 00:18:49,376 --> 00:18:52,253 All bad things too, though, so don't flatter yourself. 522 00:18:52,337 --> 00:18:53,546 Jan, Joseph Campbell says 523 00:18:53,630 --> 00:18:55,173 you have to be the one to put him down. 524 00:18:55,257 --> 00:18:57,383 Wait, wait, wait, Joseph Campbell also says 525 00:18:57,467 --> 00:19:00,595 you have to use this brand-new limited edition Rick plush, 526 00:19:00,679 --> 00:19:03,347 available only on rick-plush.biz. 527 00:19:03,431 --> 00:19:04,849 Supplies are limited. Act now. 528 00:19:04,933 --> 00:19:06,184 He did? 529 00:19:06,268 --> 00:19:07,560 [ Squeaking, muffled grunting ] 530 00:19:07,644 --> 00:19:09,479 [ Grunting ] 531 00:19:11,648 --> 00:19:13,942 Shhh. 532 00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:18,029 [ Breathes heavily ] 533 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,448 Jesus, that's the last time I buy a toy from a Rick. 534 00:19:20,532 --> 00:19:23,118 Ooh, the plushies are obviously well made. 535 00:19:28,456 --> 00:19:29,999 Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick. 536 00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:32,878 Well, I am a master of both worlds, Morty. 537 00:19:34,838 --> 00:19:37,465 Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing. 538 00:19:37,549 --> 00:19:39,133 Because it should be effortless. 539 00:19:39,217 --> 00:19:41,385 And when it happens organically, that's when it's meant to be. 540 00:19:41,469 --> 00:19:43,179 You know, like, um, like me. 541 00:19:43,263 --> 00:19:45,598 I'm a writer, here's a pencil. Writers use pencils. 542 00:19:45,682 --> 00:19:47,225 Okay, so, like, what if, like, a pencil used me? 543 00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:49,185 Like, um... okay! Yeah! 544 00:19:49,269 --> 00:19:51,062 Okay, so it's like a magic pencil 545 00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,730 that writes the writer's life... 546 00:19:52,814 --> 00:19:56,400 Holy shit, it's a movie about a writer! 547 00:19:56,484 --> 00:19:58,653 I am back! 548 00:19:58,737 --> 00:20:06,577 ♪♪ 549 00:20:06,661 --> 00:20:14,460 ♪♪ 550 00:20:14,544 --> 00:20:22,343 ♪♪ 551 00:20:22,427 --> 00:20:30,268 ♪♪ 552 00:20:30,352 --> 00:20:32,562 Yeah, I'm Tag-Man! 553 00:20:32,646 --> 00:20:35,106 I-I-I-I live in the tag! 554 00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,941 I-I-I am the tag! 555 00:20:37,025 --> 00:20:38,025 I'm Tag-Man! 556 00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:39,443 Tag... Tag of the episode... man! 557 00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:40,945 "Did you get any of that?" 558 00:20:41,029 --> 00:20:42,822 When the... yeah, when an episode's over, look out, 559 00:20:42,906 --> 00:20:45,158 because, ya a a ah, here comes Tag-Man! 560 00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:47,785 And I'm... I'm crazy! Tag-Man! 561 00:20:47,869 --> 00:20:50,788 Yeah! I'm... I'mma tag your ass! 562 00:20:50,872 --> 00:20:52,081 Tag that ass. 563 00:20:52,165 --> 00:20:53,499 Tag-Ass-Man! 564 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,376 I'm an Ass-Man now! 565 00:20:55,460 --> 00:20:56,711 I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man! 566 00:20:56,795 --> 00:20:58,629 Here's what you get. Here's your tag! 567 00:20:58,713 --> 00:21:00,339 Yeah, you want some more? 568 00:21:00,423 --> 00:21:02,341 You want... you want some more tag you sick piece of shit?! 569 00:21:02,425 --> 00:21:05,428 I'm... because I'm Tag-Man! 570 00:21:05,512 --> 00:21:06,929 I miss my wife. 571 00:21:07,013 --> 00:21:08,806 Too bad. This is it! 572 00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:10,683 Tag-Man, yeah! 573 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,185 [ Indistinct talking ] 574 00:21:12,269 --> 00:21:13,770 Did you get any of that?