1 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,560 [ELECTRONIC HUMMING] 2 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,160 [HIGH-PITCHED WHINE] 3 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,520 [MIRROR CRACKING] 4 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,280 [ICE CRACKLING] 5 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,360 [WIND RUSHING] 6 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,280 [FAINT MUSIC PLAYS] 7 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,160 [♪ WIZZARD: "I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY"] 8 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,960 [POTS CLANKING] 9 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,880 [TURNS MUSIC OFF] 10 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,400 I was just getting into that. 11 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,160 What are you doing? 12 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,120 Roast potatoes. 13 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,560 - We're doing Christmas. - Christmas. 14 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,680 Christmas Day, December 25th. You've heard of it? 15 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,080 No work today, so, uh... the bottle's on the table. 16 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,120 I know we didn't have decorations last year. But, uh... 17 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,080 I couldn't find them last year. 18 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,520 They're only supposed to have stored essentials here. 19 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:30,640 I think it's kind of adorable someone thinks tinsel is essential. 20 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,040 I figured it'd be good for us to have a... a meal. 21 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,880 A drink. Talk? 22 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,760 - Good for you or me? - Come on. What has it been, 23 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,480 five years? How many sentences have you said to me? Three? 24 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,080 - [SIGHS] - I mean, I'm exaggerating... a little. 25 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,600 But, come on, there is a little bit of a conversational drought happening here. 26 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,400 - My ears need water. - I'm not big on conversation. 27 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,600 - Practice makes perfect. - Maybe I'll bore you. 28 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,960 Buddy, look, at this point, 29 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:07,440 being bored by anything other than snow would be a relief. 30 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,960 So come on. 31 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,000 Chit-chat. 32 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,520 Conversate, something. 33 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,120 Come on, for me. 34 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,640 - For Christmas. - What do you want to talk about? 35 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,280 Why are you here? 36 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,040 No one ends up here 37 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,440 without things going to total shit for them back out there. 38 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:34,440 It's a job, not a jail. 39 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,520 Often one and the same thing. 40 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,240 So... 41 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,680 ...what went wrong for you out there? 42 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,160 Nothing. 43 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,840 Bullshit. 44 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,960 It's not an interrogation. 45 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,000 What about you? 46 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:56,800 An icebreaker. You're learning. 47 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:02,040 - What went to shit for you? - Sure you don't want that drink? 48 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,840 Did you talk your way into trouble? 49 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,520 In a roundabout way. 50 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,600 I talked to people. 51 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,000 - Made money from it. - Why? What were you? 52 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,880 Some sort of, um, Los Angeles drive-time DJ? 53 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,480 I was not a DJ. 54 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,160 More like a guru. 55 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,760 Oh, don't say you were a spiritual guru. 56 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:29,080 I was decidedly not a spiritual guru. 57 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,800 [MUSICAL NOTIFICATION] 58 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,400 [MAN] Hello, Harry. I'm patched through now. How are you doing? 59 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,360 [HARRY] Sorry, I'm not quite dressed yet. 60 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,200 [MAN] Don't worry, that's why I'm here. 61 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,840 Just show me what you're planning on wearing 62 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,960 and we'll take things from there. 63 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,040 - How about this? - Doesn't work. 64 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:57,200 It's boring blue and you're not boring blue. Not tonight. 65 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,080 All right. Which one of these is good? 66 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,680 Like I said, white shirt with a black tie 67 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,640 with a slim-cut grey jacket. 68 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,680 Classic, timeless. Smart. 69 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,160 - I don't usually do jackets. - You don't usually do anything. 70 00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,920 And sort out that hair, because... 71 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,920 OK. [EXHALES] 72 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,480 Remember those breathing techniques we talked about, OK? 73 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,880 You're going to do fine. 74 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,240 It's going to be fine. 75 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,400 [LOUD MUSIC PLAYING] 76 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,520 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 77 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,960 - She's cute. - Yes. 78 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,800 Not out loud. 79 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,520 Absolutely. 80 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,680 You need to pick your spots when you want to talk out loud. OK? 81 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:50,920 OK. The function room is in the back. 82 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,000 Trust me, if you walk in there like you belong, 83 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,000 - no one's going to say anything. - OK. 84 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,640 So what were you running, some corporate espionage outfit? 85 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,120 Romantic services. 86 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,240 Boy meets girl thanks to... 87 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,040 ...in-the-field assistance. 88 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,600 You coached dorks whilst they cruised singles bars. 89 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,840 Singles bars are depressing. We'd do regular bars and clubs. 90 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,000 But at Christmas time... 91 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,000 ...we'd gate-crash office parties. 92 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:24,480 See, there's this dynamic to Christmas work parties. 93 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,880 All the attractive women 94 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,440 have been surrounded by regulation office ass-clowns 95 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,760 for the whole year, and now they want to let their hair down. 96 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,720 According to the pop psychologist. 97 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:37,000 So I know how the mind works. 98 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,120 [MAN] Now, don't stand around like a lamppost. 99 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,600 Walk over to the bar. 100 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,360 Remember. Always move with purpose. 101 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,240 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 102 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,120 - [WOMAN] Yeah, who's next? - Yeah. Can I have a...? 103 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,560 Three pints, a vodka Diet Coke and a shot of tequila. 104 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,280 [SCOFFS] Yeah. Don't worry about him, all right? 105 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,360 Just grab one of those empty bottles off the bar 106 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,880 while Captain Douchebag orders his piss water. 107 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,360 We're just going to need it for a prop anyway. 108 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,760 Have a look around. 109 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,560 See anything you like? 110 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,640 What? The blonde? 111 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,920 The dark-haired girl? 112 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,520 Interesting choice. Go straight over, but focus on the blonde. 113 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,520 Now. Come on. 114 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,240 Confidence. You can do this. 115 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,880 Hold on, just finding out who they are. 116 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,800 OK, uh, bullshit opener. 117 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:54,640 Um, try the horse story. At the blonde girl. 118 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,080 [CLEARS THROAT] 119 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,680 Hey, so, did anyone see that guy outside riding the horse? 120 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,520 - Did you see him? - What? A guy on a horse? 121 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,400 Yeah, like, 20 minutes ago, this guy, shirtless, 122 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,160 - riding a horse down the high street. - Really? 123 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,120 Yeah, honestly. He, uh... 124 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,840 The weirdest part was that he had a bow and arrow, right? 125 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,360 - What? A real bow and arrow? - I swear to God. 126 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:19,040 He probably did it for a bet but he looked like something out of Tolkien, 127 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,760 - you know? - [BOTH LAUGH] 128 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,280 - Sorry, who are you? - [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] 129 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,400 Stall until I... until I find something. 130 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,680 I'm pretty sure I'm me. 131 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,040 Just you're not from the office. 132 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,920 Who do you know from here? 133 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,720 Say, "I know you." Friendly. 134 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,240 I know you, for one. 135 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,120 - Dawson. - Dawson, isn't it? 136 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,520 You met at Kath's barbecue. 137 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,760 Yeah. We met at Kath's barbecue back in... 138 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,840 - June. - ...June or so. Yeah. 139 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,560 He had a pork pie hat. 140 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,080 You had a poor guy's hat. 141 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,320 A "pork pie hat." 142 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:10,920 A pork pie hat that you wore on your head. 143 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,080 He'll pretend he remembers, even though 144 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,880 he won't actually know if he does. 145 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,200 - Right. - Yeah? 146 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,400 Yeah, sorry. 147 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,920 No. No, no worries. No worries. Crazy night. 148 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,960 You're doing fine. Don't neglect the blonde. 149 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,520 You, I don't know. 150 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,440 - Um, Amy. - Amy. Hi. 151 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,840 Get her to introduce you to the dark-haired girl. 152 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,640 [CLEARS THROAT] So, uh, are all of your friends this suspicious? 153 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,640 - Nice. - I don't think so. 154 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,520 - [HARRY] Yeah? - This is Jennifer. 155 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,080 - Hi, Jennifer. - Hi. 156 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,600 Now focus on Amy and we'll do that funny material that we worked on. 157 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,560 Anyway, this guy gets off the horse and he's got a backpack, right? 158 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,920 The tactic, generally, was to deliberately 159 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:04,200 freeze out the one you were actually interested in. 160 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,280 For one thing you wouldn't seem needy but... 161 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:11,800 ...also they would, most times, sort of lean in naturally. 162 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:14,080 People want to be noticed. 163 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,440 They don't like to be shut out. It makes them feel invisible. 164 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,400 But this girl... 165 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:26,120 This girl seemed content with being ignored. 166 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,000 Maybe she could smell a loser. 167 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,200 No. 168 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,440 No. She was an outsider. 169 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:37,240 An attractive outsider. 170 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,440 And there's nothing more tantalising than that. 171 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,560 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 172 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,080 - Huh. - [HARRY] Great. 173 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:56,200 Well, she's off. OK. 174 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,280 Gonna be a challenge. Don't quit. 175 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,480 Let's let our friend Amy here yadder on for a little while 176 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,640 and then, uh, find an excuse to slip away. 177 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,240 They will sit outside on the balcony till, like, four in the morning. 178 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,040 [HARRY] Yeah? It's startling. 179 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,640 Listen, I've just go to the, um, little boys' room. 180 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:14,400 So, uh, just keep the party going and I'll, 181 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,240 - you know... [LAUGHS] - Sure. 182 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,960 Do you actually have to go? 183 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,200 Yeah, but it's not easy with you watching. 184 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,200 I promise. I won't peek. 185 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:45,760 So you streamed everything he saw, and he trusted you with that? 186 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:50,720 Well... it was only me watching. 187 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,000 Jesus, how much urine? He's pissing like a harpooned cow. 188 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,440 - It's making me want to go. - [ALL LAUGHING] 189 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,040 [MAN] Well, it is! 190 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:06,880 OK, there's our girl. Um, all right, Harry. 191 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,760 Your best bet is to just go over and start talking to her. 192 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,800 You just want to establish a rapport. 193 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,400 OK? Don't be scared of her. 194 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,640 OK, guys, any observations so far, helping our man out here? 195 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:21,680 Here's what's interesting, she's pretty but, uh, no one's hitting on her. 196 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,360 [MAN 1] Probably means they've given up. 197 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,400 [MAN 2] She always gives them the brush-off cos... 198 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,120 They're regular types, she's an outsider with zero in common. 199 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,320 - OK that's a possible in. - [EXHALES] 200 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:32,280 Harry, engage in conversation, but be cynical. 201 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:33,840 Right? Cutting. 202 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:38,680 Like Bonnie and Clyde, huh? You two against the world. 203 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:45,400 Confidence. Confidence. Just talk to her. 204 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,520 I don't really get parties. 205 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,000 You know, you just kind of turn up and it's, uh, it's enforced fun, all night. 206 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:55,000 Talk about what TV shows you've fallen behind on. 207 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,320 Pretend to be happy. [SCOFFS] 208 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,240 Maybe everyone else enjoys it, maybe it's just me? 209 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,480 It's definitely not just you. 210 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:07,560 All right, good start. Now do some more outsider small talk. 211 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:11,120 And keep looking at her. I need to gauge her reactions. 212 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,720 So I noticed you sitting alone on the edge and I, uh... 213 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,120 I thought, "Hey, kindred spirit." 214 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,560 I really hate when people say "kindred spirit", you know. 215 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,880 And people that do that. 216 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:29,200 - Me too. - [CHUCKLES] 217 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,680 Yeah, I guess you don't really like parties either. 218 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,680 The noise wrecks it for me. 219 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:39,400 All the talking and talking, it never fucking stops. 220 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,480 OK, she curses, so should you. 221 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,040 Shit, fucking, I fucking always totally think that it's fucking shit. You know? 222 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,080 I can't think through all the babble. 223 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,200 I only got through it last year because I was on drugs. 224 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,040 [LAUGHS] 225 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,840 I'm sorry, what's that? What's that? 226 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,640 Just, like, pills, but 227 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:02,400 they must've been pretty strong because I actually enjoyed myself. 228 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,440 - That's cool. - Don't say cool. 229 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,960 - I wish I had some drugs right now. - No, you don't. 230 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,640 I'm just... I'm joking. 231 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,400 I don't take them anymore. 232 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,840 - Say, "That's good." - That's good, because you don't... 233 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,840 You don't need that shit in your system, no. 234 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,080 I'd say she's a level four rock chick. 235 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,160 Semi-reformed. Probably respond well to spiritual conversation. 236 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:27,240 I don't think I can face fucking weeks of that. I might bail, boys. 237 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,200 OK, look, it's too public here. 238 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,160 Ask if you can move someplace quieter, where you can really talk. 239 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,280 People want to be heard. That's why 90 percent of seduction is just listening. 240 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,360 [MAN] Or at least pulling a face like you're listening. 241 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,880 Yeah, that works, too. 242 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,960 The important thing is to make them feel important. 243 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,960 Like they can make you want to extinguish the rest of the world 244 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:54,360 and focus on them. 245 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,400 Full attention. 246 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:01,520 Like you're not giving me now. What's wrong? 247 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,080 - That clock. - What about it? 248 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,800 I just... I just never noticed it before. 249 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:12,800 [SCOFFS] In five years? Jesus. 250 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:17,640 Anyway, the point is to stay locked in on them long enough 251 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,480 to build a rapport. 252 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,320 So, well, I would guess that either every guy in there 253 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:27,160 has already tried to hit on you or, uh, maybe they find you too intimidating. 254 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:31,960 - Am I intimidating? - No, no, no, no, no. I'm just, uh... 255 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,600 No, I just imagine that they all kind of want to get in inside your... 256 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,800 - Head. - ...head. 257 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,400 [CHUCKLES] Some of them have tried. 258 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,480 Not directly. 259 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,320 They send messages, or they make it so you know what they're thinking. 260 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,920 Yeah. That can't be fun. 261 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:52,440 It's just tiring, you know. It just doesn't end, ever. 262 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,960 [HARRY] I wouldn't know, I never hit on anyone. 263 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,760 - [JENNIFER] Really? - OK, uh... 264 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,240 - Ask her how long she's worked there. - Um... 265 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,640 [HARRY] How long have you worked for... 266 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,120 - Magson Frank. - ...Magson Frank. 267 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,480 - Three years. - Oh, wow. So three Christmas parties. 268 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,720 This will be my last. 269 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,720 - Oh, really? Are you leaving? - Mm-hm. 270 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:16,120 I've been planning it forever, but you know what it's like. 271 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,240 You know you have to do it, but when it comes right down to it, 272 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,080 it's hard to work up the courage. 273 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,240 You can empathize with that. 274 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,520 Yeah. It's like when you want to jump into a pool, 275 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,320 and you're worried that the water's going to be cold. 276 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,520 But you know moments after you jump in that it'll be fine. 277 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,000 It's the fear of the shock that holds you back. 278 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,840 Ultimately, the only thing you're worried about is the transition 279 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,040 from one state to another. 280 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,800 And that can't hurt you because it's... it's just a state change. 281 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,480 Great stuff, kid. Almost word-for-word. 282 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:48,520 That's exactly right, it's just a state change. 283 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,240 Right. And it's frustrating because 284 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,760 you've always got these ten voices in your head saying, "Don't do it" 285 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,240 and another ten in your head saying, "Do it". 286 00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,400 Which one do you listen to? 287 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,720 The "do it"s. 288 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,520 Really? 289 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,760 Yeah. If you don't like it, you can just cut and run, you know. 290 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,520 Get it over and done with. 291 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,600 You're right. I will. 292 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,240 [CHUCKLES] 293 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:13,800 Well... to changing states. 294 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,240 - To changing states. - [LIQUID SLOSHING] 295 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,520 - [HARRY LAUGHS] Ooh! - [JENNIFER] Ooh! Sorry. 296 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,840 - She touched his knee. - She touched his fucking knee! 297 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,280 Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, please. 298 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:29,080 Harry, you're doing great. Ask her if she would like another drink. 299 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,240 Listen, let me get you another drink. 300 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:35,480 [CHUCKLES] Let me think. I just need the loo a sec. 301 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,840 So thanks to you some gawko finally meets a girl. 302 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,120 It's not much of a Christmas story. 303 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,640 I haven't finished yet. 304 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,720 Maybe he comes down her chimney. 305 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,120 [EXHALES] 306 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,640 [EXHALES] I just don't feel comfortable doing this. 307 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:04,920 What? 308 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,600 I mean she... I like her. 309 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:08,920 - She likes you. - It's cheating. 310 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,080 I'd never have even had the nerve to talk to her. 311 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,640 Aren't you glad you did? 312 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,560 Yeah, I... Yes. Yes. But I just... 313 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,960 It's just a bit of a nightmare having you, you know, 314 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,640 all of you in my head, watching us... Telling me what to do. 315 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,520 I just want to talk to her myself. And it's... 316 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,160 It's a bit of a head-fuck. I kind of want you all to go away. 317 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,480 I don't... Hey. [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] 318 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,520 [CLEARS THROAT] 319 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,160 - Come back to mine. - Sorry? 320 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,320 I want you to come back to mine. 321 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,960 I thought about asking you, and a little voice said, "Do it". 322 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,680 So I'm doing it. 323 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,960 Um... uh... 324 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,200 Say yes! 325 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,360 I want to do this. 326 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,800 It's my way of saying thanks. 327 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,040 - Sorry. - No, um... 328 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,880 - Hole-in-one! - On his first run! 329 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,320 - His first bloody run! - Just say yes. 330 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,400 Yes. Yes. Yes. 331 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,520 [DOOR OPENS] 332 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,160 [BOTH EXHALE NERVOUSLY] 333 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,440 I don't usually bring people back here. 334 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,200 Well, I'm honoured. 335 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,400 - Come in. - [MAN] Did you watch 336 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,920 when they went back to hers and got up to whatever they got up to. 337 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:29,200 Did you carry on watching through his eyes? 338 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,880 What do you think I am? 339 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,920 Clearly, I don't know. 340 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,560 Maybe if you spoke to me more, you'd know. 341 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,880 No. My job was done. 342 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,280 Of course I didn't watch. 343 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,520 - [HARRY] Here? OK. - [JENNIFER] Mm-hm. 344 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,560 Nice place. I like the mantelpiece. 345 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,160 And that bird. 346 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,600 Kooky decor. 347 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,840 Indicating sexual adventurousness. 348 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,480 [EXHALES] 349 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,600 - I'll get the drinks. - Yeah, OK. I'll just sit. 350 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,560 - The bedroom's that way. - Yeah, OK. 351 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,920 I'll meet you in there. 352 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,360 OK, Harry. You're going to the moon. 353 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,080 Just sooner than expected. 354 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,440 - I can't... I can't do it. - This is first-time nerves. 355 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,440 It's all happening so suddenly. I didn't expect this, this quickly. 356 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:37,840 You just got to roll with it. 357 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,200 I don't want you all to see, all right? 358 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,080 Oh, now he's Mr Fucking Ethics. 359 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,040 Now wait. You were happy to take 360 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,200 - a window seat while others did it. - [HARRY] That was different! 361 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,080 I didn't hear any objections when he watched me getting sucked off 362 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,360 by that German girl. That was a first date. 363 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,440 - [HARRY] Look... - Refund. 364 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,680 Look, she's too real. This is too real. 365 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,120 Nothing is too real. 366 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,360 Yeah, but... 367 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,920 - You're standing. - Yeah, I... 368 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,240 I just didn't want to be too presumptuous. 369 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,160 I need you on the bed. 370 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:12,760 [MAN ON MONITOR] Jesus! 371 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,440 [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] 372 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,760 [BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY] 373 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,040 [WHISPERS] They can't fucking wait. 374 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,800 - Oh... - Is she going to take that top off? 375 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,160 - If there's no tits. I want a discount. - They're gonna have sex. 376 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,720 You're getting the season finale in episode one. 377 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,800 Yeah, but if I don't see her tits... 378 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,120 Will you please be patient? Jesus. 379 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,920 Have some respect. 380 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,080 [GRUNTING] 381 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:50,760 [COUGHING] 382 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:55,000 Hey. Are you OK in there? 383 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:56,560 Wow. What is that? 384 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,320 "Fuck them" is what it is. 385 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,880 A big glass of "fuck them". 386 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,240 Fuck... fuck who? 387 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:06,200 Always saying what to do, half saying one thing, half saying another. 388 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,640 The talk, the constant talk. 389 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,200 - This isn't good. - I'm not getting tits, am I? 390 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,480 I stopped taking the pills they said I should take, 391 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,160 because they dulled the sound. 392 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,520 Always, they've spoken to me, 393 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,960 always there, and I've had it. 394 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,600 OK, Harry, I think we should think about wrapping this up. 395 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:31,640 I was planning on drinking this tonight to make them stop, but I was wavering. 396 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,440 Coward, fucking coward, 397 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:38,640 and then I met you, and it was fate. 398 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,200 You knew what it was like and you said do it. 399 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,760 So now, we're saying "fuck it" together. 400 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,840 - What's in the drink? - It doesn't matter. Wrap it up. 401 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:53,040 I know you hear them too. I saw you talking to them. 402 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,280 No. They're real people, these are real people. 403 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,920 There's no such thing as real people. 404 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,160 - Harry, get out of there now! - [HARRY COUGHING] 405 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,120 It's like a club, it's a club where we meet girls and they talk us through... 406 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,480 - No one understands me, either. - No. 407 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,360 All night, they've been watching us and there's this one guy, 408 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,800 - he's the leader. He's the leader. - We're the same. 409 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,720 They're watching us. All night, they've been watching. 410 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,400 They can see you. They can see me. 411 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,240 No one understands what that's like. 412 00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:22,160 There are a hundred who see through me, 413 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,040 standing at their government depots, 414 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,320 shouting what to think. 415 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,960 [HARRY STRUGGLING TO BREATHE] 416 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,800 Not any more. 417 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,160 - You too. - I don't want it. 418 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,360 - It's a state change. - I don't want it. 419 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,000 It's just a transition 420 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:52,360 and soon, they won't be there and we'll be free. 421 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,080 Please... Please... I don't want it. 422 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,000 You do. 423 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,280 You do. 424 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,120 Shh, shh, shh, shh... 425 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,600 - [HARRY GRUNTING FRANTICALLY] - Shh, shh, shh. You do. 426 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,240 She murdered him? 427 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,400 A mercy killing, she'd say. 428 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,760 - So when did you find out about this? - Hm? 429 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,680 I mean, when did you know that this had happened? 430 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,560 Uh... I saw it on a newscast, I think. 431 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,440 [HARRY SCREAMING, GURGLING] 432 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:27,960 Wipe and destroy everything. OK? Everything. Now go. 433 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,400 [TOY SQUEAKS] 434 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,160 [TOY CLATTERS AND PLAYS LOUD MUSIC] 435 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,560 [TRASH CLATTERING] 436 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:19,120 [WOMAN] Matthew? 437 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,400 What's going on? 438 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,600 What are you doing? 439 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:38,280 So Claire... she was my wife. 440 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,920 She's British, you'd like her. 441 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,520 And I'm your wife, in fact. 442 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,840 [MATTHEW] Claire found out I was involved 443 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:51,000 and took what you might call a dim view. 444 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,440 She blocked me. 445 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:54,680 You ever been blocked? 446 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,120 I've had enough. Matthew, it's done. 447 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,600 - Stop it. Stop. - Not this time. 448 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,080 [MATTHEW] It drives you crazy. 449 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,520 - Why? Why? - Once they hit that button, that's it, 450 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,000 you're locked out. End of conversation. You can't hear or speak to them. 451 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:10,800 They can't hear or speak to you. 452 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:17,400 Every time you look at them, there's just this... anonymous shape. 453 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,360 It usually only lasts for what, like an hour. 454 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,440 But when they leave it going, 455 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,320 oh, shit. 456 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,200 Price of progress, I suppose. 457 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,960 [EXHALES DEEPLY] We all got... 458 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,920 We all got Zed-Eyes put in, right. 459 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,600 Which is all fine and dandy until something like this happens 460 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,200 and then it's bullshit. 461 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,520 You can't even take them out. 462 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,120 Packet gravy. 463 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,160 How British. 464 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,080 Merry Christmas. 465 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:17,960 Now we're festive. Huh? 466 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,560 To Christmas! 467 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:35,880 Anyway, she left me, took custody of Mel, that's our daughter. 468 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,800 Hence, stranding me in this lovely place. 469 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,960 I didn't want to be surrounded by reminders. 470 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,080 [DOOR SLAMS SHUT] 471 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,480 - What? - Did you hear that? 472 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,360 Hear what? 473 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,560 Well, anyway, I'm glad we're talking. 474 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:10,560 Silence can be oppressive. You think weird shit in a vacuum, huh? 475 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,960 I mean, you feel better, right? Communicating? 476 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,800 Talking to me, finally? 477 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,880 A little bit, maybe. Yeah. 478 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,040 [LAUGHS] Man, you are a locked box. 479 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,120 I mean, that's a good thing. 480 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,800 Most people are too easy to read, especially if you know minds. 481 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,640 Using party tricks to pick up girls isn't "knowing minds." 482 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,040 The picking up girls thing was a hobby. 483 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,400 My job was completely different. 484 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,520 You'll never guess what that was. 485 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,280 - Marketing person? - No. 486 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,040 - Door-to-door salesman? - Please. 487 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:59,280 Proctologist? 488 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,960 - You're never going to get it. - I'm not going to try. 489 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,240 All right. Let's make it a game. 490 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,960 I'll describe to you... 491 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,920 ...my day at work, and you stop me when you've guessed it. 492 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,120 [MAN ON TV] The extreme weather has hit sales hard this Christmas. 493 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,040 Five inches of snow... 494 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,640 [WOMAN THINKING] That's going to wreck my portfolio just when I need it. 495 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,080 [SIGHS] 496 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:28,520 Don't know what I'm going to do about that. 497 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,400 Oh, God, more messages. I'll never clear this inbox. 498 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,720 Sorry. Constant bloody admin. 499 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,280 Just time for a little snack. 500 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,640 I can eat before an operation? 501 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,960 Wonders of modern science. 502 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,040 Oh, thank God. I'm starving. 503 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,280 [WOMAN THINKING] That toast looks burnt. 504 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,440 Should I say something? 505 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,400 Yeah, I think I'll say something. 506 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,320 All good? 507 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,000 To be honest, it's not quite how I like it. It's a bit overdone. 508 00:29:58,920 --> 00:29:59,880 Sorry. 509 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,840 I'll make some more. 510 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,400 Bet she hates me now. 511 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,440 How long is this going to take? 512 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,360 Hi, I'm Madge. I'm your anaesthetist today. 513 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:14,040 Hi. 514 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,280 [WOMAN THINKING] God, she's young. Hope she's qualified. 515 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,000 OK, enough. Stop thinking about things that could go wrong. 516 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:26,200 They said it's straightforward and painless. I'm just going to relax. 517 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:30,200 OK, Greta, just relax. Here we go. 518 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,040 [MADGE] Now, just count backwards from ten. 519 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:37,720 Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... 520 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,720 - ...five... - [GRETA THINKING] Five, four, three, 521 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,240 two, one. 522 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,040 Um, I can't... I can't see. 523 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,880 Um, where am I? 524 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,120 - Uh, what's that noise? - [DRILL WHIRRING] 525 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,200 - [HEART MONITOR BEEPING] - Uh, why can't I see?! 526 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,120 [WOMAN] Preparing to extract cookie. 527 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:00,360 [GRETA COOKIE] What? No! Wait! I'm still awake! 528 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:03,480 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What's happening? 529 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,160 Excuse me? Oh, my God!' 530 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,560 That's me! 531 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:12,000 That's me! Oh, my God! Where am I? 532 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,920 I don't know what's happening! 533 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,040 I don't know what's happening to me! 534 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,200 [SOBBING] 535 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,880 Hello? 536 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,840 Is... is anyone there? 537 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:24,560 Hello? 538 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,640 - [FEEDBACK] - [GRETA COOKIE] Ow! 539 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,440 Sorry. 540 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:40,280 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 541 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:45,280 You're probably pretty weirded out right now, I'm guessing. 542 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,040 It's OK, you can talk. I can hear you through this. 543 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,880 - [GRETA COOKIE] Hello? - Hi. 544 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:57,600 I'm Matthew, I'm from Smartelligence. 545 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,480 My job is to explain what's happening to you as best I can. 546 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,440 - Oh, my God! Am I dead? - No, no. You're not dead. 547 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,160 No one's dead here. 548 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:08,720 Um... 549 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,920 ...how old did you say you we're, uh, 30? 550 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:14,920 - Twenty-nine. - Twenty-nine, right. 551 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,720 Uh, so you won't remember Xerox machines? 552 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:21,880 - Do you know what a photocopier is? - What? 553 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,520 Do you know what a copy is? 554 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,720 As in a copy of something? Of course I know what that is. 555 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,480 Well, that's what you are. 556 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,880 A copy of...? 557 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,080 A copy of you. 558 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,880 - But I am me. - OK. 559 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,560 Try to blow on my face. 560 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:47,800 You can't, because you don't have a body. 561 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,280 Where are your fingers? Your arms, your face? 562 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,000 Nowhere. [CHUCKLES] 563 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:55,920 Because you're code. 564 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,760 You're a simulated brain full of code, 565 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,280 stored in this little widget we call a cookie. 566 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:05,240 Why have you done this to me? 567 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,200 Ah, well... Actually you did this to you. 568 00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,800 Uh, real you is paying for this. 569 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,480 I don't understand. 570 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:16,200 You see, what this is, is a service. 571 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:17,800 We take a blank cookie 572 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:22,240 and we surgically implant it into a client's brain. 573 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,440 It sits there just under the skin 574 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,920 for about a week, shadowing. 575 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:33,720 Um, soaking up the way this particular mind works. 576 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,720 That's why you think you're you. You are you. 577 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,880 Uh... but also not. 578 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:46,080 Right. Well, it is a lot to process, even from inside a processor. 579 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,520 - Put me back in my body! - Hm. 580 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,240 Well, that's where real you lives. 581 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:56,960 But... what we will do though is we will give you a simulated body. 582 00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,520 We find that sometimes that helps. Are you ready? 583 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,680 - What? I don't understand! - Three, and two, one. 584 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,000 [GASPS] 585 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,360 [CONTINUES GASPING] 586 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,560 [MATTHEW] Hey. 587 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,240 Better? 588 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,480 This is my body. 589 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,960 Let's not get into that again. Uh, look around you. 590 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,480 You've got a control room. 591 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,120 What's this for? 592 00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:43,160 That console, that's for you to control the house. 593 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,240 I mean, real you's house. 594 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,080 Look, um, how do you like your toast? 595 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:55,200 - Wh... What? - How do you like your toast? 596 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,920 - Underdone. Slightly underdone. - OK, perfect. 597 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,760 Think about how you like it... 598 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,040 ...then just press the button. 599 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,360 - Which one? - It doesn't matter. 600 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,360 You already know you're making toast. 601 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,680 The buttons are symbolic mostly anyway. 602 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,080 [BUTTON HUMS] 603 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,080 See, this is your job now. 604 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,320 You're in charge of everything here. 605 00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,280 Uh, the temperature, the lighting, 606 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,000 what time the alarm clock goes off in the morning. 607 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,400 If there's no food in the refrigerator. 608 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,640 You... You're in charge of ordering it. 609 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,280 - For who? - For real you. 610 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,240 - She's paying. - Where is real me? 611 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:51,520 Taking a nap. In the bedroom. Top right. 612 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:52,920 [GASPS] 613 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,120 I don't want to be in here. 614 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:03,760 I don't want to be in here. 615 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,160 I don't want to be in here! 616 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:09,240 - [TOASTER POPS] - [MATT] Hey. 617 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,720 Just how you like it. 618 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,320 - [SCREAMS] - OK. 619 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,680 Please stop screaming. Are you going to stop screaming? 620 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,160 Are you going to stop screaming? No. OK. 621 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,120 [SILENCE] 622 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,960 I'm sorry. I had to mute you. It... 623 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,240 [NO AUDIO] 624 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,920 - Oh, sorry. - [GRETA COOKIE PANTING] 625 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:42,600 Look. It'll be much easier if you just comply. 626 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,640 I'm not doing this. 627 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,720 I'm not some sort of push-button toaster monkey. 628 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:51,680 - Would you prefer to do nothing? - Well, I'm not doing this! 629 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:56,280 Right. Well, nothing it is then. Let me show you what that is like. 630 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,800 Three weeks sound good? That should give you a taste. 631 00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:02,560 What do you mean, three weeks? 632 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,800 If you just wait for a... Just... 633 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,600 - What about now? - [GASPS] 634 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,520 Please. Don't do that again. 635 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:41,760 Please. There's nothing to do here. There's nothing. There's just... 636 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,400 I mean, there's nothing. 637 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,480 - I did warn you. - I couldn't even sleep. 638 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:49,320 You don't need sleep. Ready to go to work? 639 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,360 Oh, no, no. No, I'm not. Definitely not doing that. 640 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:59,200 - OK. Well, have six months. - No. Wait, wait! 641 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,280 [MATTHEW] See, the trick of it lay in breaking them 642 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:07,080 without letting them snap completely, if you get me. 643 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,800 Too much time in solitary and they'd just wig out. 644 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,600 No use to anyone, then you'd just sell them cheap 645 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:15,680 to the games industry, they become 646 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,160 cannon fodder for some war thing. 647 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,960 [MATTHEW CONTINUES EATING TOAST] 648 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,000 - How are we feeling now? - [GASPS] 649 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:38,000 [PANTING] Please. 650 00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:41,360 Give me something to do. 651 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,560 Ready to work? 652 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,760 Yes. Yes, please. 653 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,440 I'll do anything. 654 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,480 I'll do anything, just give me something to do, please. 655 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,600 - [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] - OK. 656 00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:59,600 Great toast, by the way. 657 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,600 Hey. 658 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:08,680 Is it set up? 659 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,600 You are all set and ready to go. 660 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:27,040 You know, as I was coming here, I saw this guy with his shirt off, 661 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,920 riding a horse in the middle of the street. 662 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:34,200 - How weird. - [CHUCKLES] I swear to God. 663 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,000 [ELECTRONIC HUMS AND BEEPS] 664 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:03,800 [♪ ROSSINI: "THE THIEVING MAGPIE"] 665 00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:01,480 [COMPUTERIZED VOICE] Good morning, Greta. Here are today's appointments. 666 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:05,200 11 am: hair with Stelios. 667 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:13,000 12.30: Lunch at Barney's Brasserie with Annabel. 668 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:17,720 3 pm: Jackanape Gallery private view, Shoreditch. 669 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,520 6.30: Christmas drinks with Paolo. 670 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:27,000 7.30: The Nutcracker, Royal Opera House. 671 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,200 That's slavery. 672 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,920 - A little melodramatic, isn't it? - But she thought she was real. 673 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,400 - But she wasn't. - It's barbaric. 674 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:42,320 It wasn't really real, so it wasn't really barbaric. 675 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,880 Again, you are not who I expected. 676 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:57,240 Most people would say, 677 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:01,360 "She's only made of code, she's not real. Fuck her." 678 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,120 But you're empathetic. 679 00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:08,800 - You care about people. - Well, don't you? 680 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,960 You're a good man. 681 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,480 Am I? 682 00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:20,160 Based on how you've reacted to what I've said, yeah. 683 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:22,200 I can tell you're kind. 684 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:29,320 I'm not a good man. 685 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:35,480 A good man who's done bad things? 686 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:43,360 You can tell me about it. 687 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,720 I've done stuff in my life I'm not proud of. 688 00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,560 I can't pretend I haven't. 689 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,360 Was it something to do with your family? 690 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,120 Wife? 691 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,720 Girlfriend? 692 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,160 [CHUCKLES] 693 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,360 It's just us here. 694 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,920 Her dad never liked me. 695 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,760 He never liked me. 696 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,520 Bloody cold, isn't it? Come on. 697 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,520 Beth. Bethany. 698 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,240 [BETH] Dad, what now? 699 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,880 It gets dark about six. 700 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,520 - We won't be that long! - Hold on. Let me put my glove on. 701 00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,680 I think he disapproves. 702 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,320 He's just protective. 703 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,680 He thinks I'm not good enough for you. 704 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:58,320 Well, I mean, he's got a point. 705 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:06,480 Let me take a photo of you. Stand there. 706 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,160 Hang on. 707 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,680 I feel so awkward posing. 708 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,360 Come on. Be a supermodel. 709 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,160 - This awkward enough for you? - It's perfect. 710 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:18,240 - Right. Ready? That's nice. - [BETH LAUGHS] 711 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,280 - Hold it there. - [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] 712 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,040 [BOTH LAUGH] 713 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,560 You're such a dick. 714 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,960 [♪ LOS BRAVOS: "BLACK IS BLACK"] 715 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,400 [SINGS ROCK MUSIC KARAOKE] 716 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,480 [BETH WHOOPING] 717 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,640 [WOMAN LAUGHS LOUDLY] 718 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:52,960 [FEEDBACK ON MICROPHONE] 719 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,920 We were good together, you know. We were really good together. 720 00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,800 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 721 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:05,400 Whoo! 722 00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:10,760 [SINGS MELANCHOLY KARAOKE] 723 00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,720 Yeah! 724 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:40,960 - [BOTTLE CLINKING] - Why are you all around there? 725 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:44,400 - No. No, we're going home. Come on. - Don't manhandle me. 726 00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,040 I'm not going to get up if you all touch me. 727 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:47,600 I'm not going to get up. I'm not going to get up. 728 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:49,520 - It's cool. It's cool. - [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 729 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:53,480 Come on, Joe. I'll get your jacket. 730 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,200 Cheers, mate. 731 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:59,240 Things weren't perfection. These things never are, but... 732 00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:01,680 ...we were really happy. 733 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,200 [ALL LAUGHING] 734 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:05,760 I'll let Gita tell the story. 735 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,080 She loves boring people with our personal details. 736 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,040 [LAUGHTER CONTINUES] 737 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,160 Oh, I'd been working there for about a fortnight 738 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:17,360 when Beth introduced the two of us, and ta-da! 739 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:21,320 - So it's all Beth's doing. - She's the puppet-master. 740 00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:22,960 [ALL LAUGHING] 741 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,920 What was her tip for winning me over again? 742 00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:27,040 Not to let you hear me snore. 743 00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,760 We all went on this work trip once, before Gita's time, 744 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,800 I fell asleep on the coach back and snored so loud 745 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,920 that they all thought there was something wrong with me. 746 00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:37,320 He snores like a bison. 747 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,120 - [JOE] Wow. - [ALL LAUGH] 748 00:46:39,240 --> 00:46:41,160 Really, you're telling him that? 749 00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,560 Oh, another one bites the dust. 750 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,720 [DISHES CLATTERING] 751 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,400 I think she's more into him than he's into her. 752 00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,160 Don't you think? 753 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:55,960 Is that one finished? 754 00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,920 - [BETH] Mmm-hmm. - Yeah? 755 00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,680 You all right? 756 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:02,880 - I'm tired. - You've been a bit quiet. 757 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,080 Just wasn't in the mood, you know? 758 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:08,160 I see them all the time at work. 759 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,760 I think I'm going to go to bed. Do you mind? 760 00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:14,920 No, that's fine. 761 00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,120 [WHISPERS] Shit. 762 00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,480 Beth? 763 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:55,800 - What? - Is this yours? 764 00:47:57,240 --> 00:48:00,760 I just found it in the bin. That means pregnant. 765 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:04,160 Is it yours? 766 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:07,920 Yes. 767 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:09,320 [LAUGHS] 768 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,360 I mean, that... 769 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,080 Christ. 770 00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:19,720 That's amazing, I mean... It's just... 771 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,960 Joe, I can't. 772 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:25,960 A baby, a pregnancy... not now. 773 00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:27,800 Not right now, I can't. 774 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,000 Of course you can. My God, you'll be an amazing mum. 775 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,040 - No. I'm 27, I'm not ready. - Who's ever ready? 776 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,840 It's not... it's just too quick, OK? It's all too quick. 777 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,160 - We'll manage. I'll surprise you. - You're not listening. 778 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:42,880 - I can be responsible when pushed. - Joe. 779 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,960 You can put your feet up, I'll do shoulder rubs, paint the house. 780 00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:47,640 - Joe, please. - We'll be like a couple in a DIY ad. 781 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:51,960 - Joe... I don't want it. - We'll be like a family. 782 00:48:55,800 --> 00:48:58,760 - But it's a baby. - Joe. 783 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,640 - I mean, it's our baby. - I know, and it's not easy for me. 784 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,880 - Well, let's at least discuss this. - No. I've made up my mind. 785 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,440 Well, I haven't. 786 00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:11,840 God, look at you. 787 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,280 You're pissed. 788 00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:17,080 You drank all night, Beth. 789 00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,080 You drank all night. 790 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:20,360 Jesus Christ, you're pregnant. 791 00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:23,080 Yeah, well, I don't want to be. 792 00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:26,240 - And I'm not going to be. - You're being a bitch. 793 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,200 - Stop it. - You're being a cold bitch 794 00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,120 - who would kill a kid. - That's not fair. 795 00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:32,800 Who'd get it torn out because it doesn't suit her plans. 796 00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,560 - Stop or I'll block you. - Don't you dare. 797 00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,360 No. We can talk tomorrow, just please stop. 798 00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:40,520 - Don't you fucking dare. - [BETH PANTING] 799 00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,960 [JOE] Turn it off! Turn it off, you...! 800 00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,200 [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 801 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,000 Listen to me, Beth! Turn it off! 802 00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:50,920 You turn it off! 803 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,200 Turn it off! 804 00:49:56,240 --> 00:49:58,600 You turn it off, Beth! 805 00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:01,880 Beth? Turn it off! Please! 806 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000 Turn it off. 807 00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:26,160 [KEYS RATTLING] 808 00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,720 - [DOOR OPENS] - Beth? 809 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:35,120 Wait! I'm sorry, I was pissed. 810 00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:37,000 Can we just talk about this properly, please? 811 00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,480 I've said some really awful shit. Beth, I love you. 812 00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:42,040 Listen, we can work this out. 813 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,000 [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 814 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,680 Beth, please! 815 00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,200 Beth! 816 00:50:55,840 --> 00:51:00,640 That day, I didn't go to work. I just stayed at home and... 817 00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:03,040 ...tried to work out how to make amends. 818 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,360 But she just didn't come back. 819 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,880 And thanks to the block, I couldn't... 820 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:13,360 I couldn't message her. I couldn't call her. 821 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,320 After a week, I was pretty desperate. 822 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:21,160 So I just hung around outside her work, like a stalker. 823 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,000 Tim! Gita! 824 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,320 Have you seen Beth? 825 00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:29,080 Um, she left. 826 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,080 Left. What, like...? 827 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:32,640 Handed in her notice. 828 00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,320 No one knows where she is. 829 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:42,480 [GITA] Joe? 830 00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,640 - Joe! - No, leave him. 831 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,520 I was still hopeful that she would get in touch, 832 00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:53,040 or at least remove the block so that I could contact her. 833 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:56,320 But no. 834 00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,840 When there's a block, you can't even wallow properly. 835 00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,320 You can't switch it off. 836 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,480 You can't take the Zed-Eyes out. 837 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:08,600 And it doesn't just block them, it blocks every image of them. 838 00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:12,160 So every memory I had of her was vandalised. 839 00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:21,840 And then one day I'm out in town and... 840 00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,480 ...it was her. 841 00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,520 She was pregnant. 842 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,880 She'd kept it. 843 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,520 Well, I just sort of lost it. I just ran over 844 00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:41,600 and started pleading with her. Just pleading. 845 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:44,320 [MUFFLED] 846 00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:48,120 Turn it off. Turn it off. Just turn it off. 847 00:52:48,240 --> 00:52:51,760 - Turn it off. Beth, turn it off. - Help. Get him off me! 848 00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:55,120 Some passer-by called the police. 849 00:52:55,240 --> 00:52:56,800 They took me down the station. 850 00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,920 And that was that. 851 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,080 So, by now, the block's got legal backing. 852 00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,920 And there's a GPS so that if I go within ten metres of her, 853 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:09,840 bang, I get arrested. 854 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:13,720 Harsh. 855 00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,280 Yeah, and I've got no idea where she is. 856 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,000 If... Whether she's had the baby or not. 857 00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,720 Whether it's a boy or a girl. 858 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,880 If it's OK. 859 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,680 I've got absolutely no way of getting in touch with her. 860 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:33,200 Except, um, I knew where her dad lived. 861 00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:38,120 So I write her a letter, this begging letter. 862 00:53:38,240 --> 00:53:42,120 Laying it all out, you know, and, um, I get no response. 863 00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,560 So I write again... 864 00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:52,680 ...and again... 865 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,400 ...and again. 866 00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,000 No response. 867 00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,400 She cut you out good. 868 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,880 But there was one thing I could do. 869 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,160 I knew she spent every Christmas with him at his place, 870 00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:13,560 so I knew that she would definitely be there. 871 00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:19,360 So, the day before, Christmas Eve, I headed up. 872 00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:25,760 And where her dad lived was this isolated place in the back of beyond. 873 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:28,160 I'd never been up there without her. 874 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:33,320 It was weird being on the outside. 875 00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,520 I waited there all day. Until... 876 00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:54,080 Well, I had to take a closer look. 877 00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:56,040 You alright to get those bags, Beth? 878 00:54:56,160 --> 00:55:00,200 And there's her dad with our baby, but I can't even see its face because... 879 00:55:00,320 --> 00:55:03,600 Legal blocks cover offspring too. 880 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,680 Been there. 881 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:09,160 That hurts. 882 00:55:12,680 --> 00:55:16,680 [JOE] I couldn't even tell if it was a boy or a girl. 883 00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:28,040 I know it sounds stupid... 884 00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,000 ...but seeing something... 885 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:38,240 ...was better than nothing. 886 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,240 So I kept going back. 887 00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:47,000 It became an annual pilgrimage. 888 00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:54,080 Once a year I'd head up there and watch them from a distance. 889 00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:57,320 Watching the kid grow up, you know? 890 00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,920 [MUFFLED] 891 00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,960 More than anything I just wanted to make some sort of contact. 892 00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:15,880 Anything. 893 00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:19,600 So, one Christmas, kid must have been about four by now, 894 00:56:19,720 --> 00:56:23,680 I headed up there and I took a little present with me. 895 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:27,480 Just a small, stupid thing. 896 00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:36,320 For the first time, I could see she was a girl. 897 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,000 I had a daughter. 898 00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:49,280 So, Santa Claus... 899 00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,920 ...did you try it again next year? 900 00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,680 Something happened before then. 901 00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:11,000 It had been a few months since I'd been up there to look at my daughter. 902 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:15,320 I was just sat at home watching TV, flipping through the channels. 903 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,440 [MAN ON TV] ...which claimed the lives of 26 people 904 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,520 on a quiet Wednesday morning. 905 00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:23,200 Passengers like Palab Ghatak, just 18, on his way to his first job interview, 906 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:27,440 like Bethany Grey, the young mother who'd only recently started...' 907 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:31,720 [PAUSES TV] 908 00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,960 It had been so long since I'd seen her, it was hard to imagine 909 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,680 anything but that shadow in her place. 910 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,760 But now that the block had died with her... 911 00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:44,200 ...there she was. 912 00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:48,360 She was gone. 913 00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,040 [SOBBING] 914 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,480 Sorry. 915 00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,760 But there was, uh, one silver lining... 916 00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:05,480 ...with the block gone. 917 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,320 You'd get to see your daughter. 918 00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:17,520 It was almost Christmas, so I bought her this snow globe. 919 00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,360 Just a present to give her. 920 00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:23,440 And I headed up to Beth's dad's. 921 00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,120 And there she was. 922 00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,120 Not a silhouette... 923 00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:49,800 ...but real. 924 00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,040 Hello, darling. 925 00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:19,520 [GASPS] 926 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,360 [MELANCHOLY SONG PLAYS] 927 01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:01,920 [SONG FADES] 928 01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:04,800 What is it, May? Would you like a drink? 929 01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:09,280 [CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON RADIO] 930 01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,760 What are you doing here? 931 01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,120 Beth's dead. 932 01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:31,080 Do you understand? 933 01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:33,440 She's dead. 934 01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,920 There's nothing for you here. 935 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:41,720 Where's my daughter? 936 01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:45,240 What daughter? 937 01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,880 This is Beth's daughter. 938 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,400 I want to see my daughter. 939 01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:55,400 May, go upstairs. 940 01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:12,560 If this is about those letters... 941 01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:16,160 ...I threw them out before she saw them. 942 01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:19,600 She was a mess, she'd had to leave everything behind. 943 01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:26,840 I want to see my daughter. 944 01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,800 I think you should go. 945 01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:37,720 Get out of this house. 946 01:01:44,840 --> 01:01:46,200 I want to see my daughter. 947 01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,440 You have no daughter here! 948 01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:49,880 [SHOUTS IN PAIN] 949 01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,400 - [CLATTERING] - [PANTING] 950 01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,480 [EXHALES LAST BREATH] 951 01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:31,240 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 952 01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:37,200 It was that clock. 953 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:40,480 It was that clock. 954 01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:44,000 Then what happened? 955 01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:50,400 Tell me. 956 01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:53,600 [JOE] I just left. 957 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:16,480 I go out in the car and I just drove. 958 01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:19,680 Anywhere. I don't know where. 959 01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:26,320 I walked into the nearest town 960 01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:32,240 and I, um... I slept on the streets and drank. 961 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:40,560 After a while, I don't know how long, a couple of months, they picked me up. 962 01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:46,240 They wanted me to talk but I couldn't talk... 963 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:52,320 ...because if I said it, it would be real. 964 01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:57,520 So I didn't say anything, I didn't tell them. 965 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,040 And what about the girl? 966 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,600 What happened to the girl? 967 01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:11,840 [SNIFFLING] 968 01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:14,680 I only know what they said. 969 01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:17,520 What did they say? 970 01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,120 - What did they say? - What is this place? 971 01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,360 - What did they say? - What job do we do here? 972 01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,520 - Our job. The job. - Joe, stay with me. 973 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:38,560 What did they say? 974 01:04:38,680 --> 01:04:41,080 What did they say, Joe? 975 01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:44,960 That she just... she just stayed in the house. 976 01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:00,160 It was, um... 977 01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,080 It was Christmas Eve, so she just... 978 01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:05,840 ...she just stayed hidden. She didn't move. 979 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:17,040 Then on Boxing Day she realised that no one was going to help. 980 01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:27,440 Then she, um, gave her grandad a present that she'd made. 981 01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:37,280 And she went out to go and get help. 982 01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:51,880 How far did she get? 983 01:06:00,960 --> 01:06:04,160 May God forgive me. God forgive me. 984 01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,760 So you confess? 985 01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:09,840 Joe? 986 01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:17,440 Just say it. 987 01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,880 Just let it out. 988 01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,960 I confess. I confess. 989 01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:34,960 [WHIMPERING] 990 01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:43,840 Whoo! I knew I could do it. 991 01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:46,320 Boom! I told you I'd get it. 992 01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,920 All right, I'm coming out. 993 01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:52,200 Sorry, Joe. 994 01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:05,720 [EXHALES DEEPLY] 995 01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:14,320 Well? That had to be enough. 996 01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:17,200 Full confession. Clear conviction. 997 01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:18,960 Well done. 998 01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:21,720 Two days we pressed him and he said piss all, 999 01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,960 this bastard cracks him in 70 minutes. 1000 01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:27,880 He knows he's guilty, he needed to unload. 1001 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:30,720 It wasn't really 70 minutes, not to him. 1002 01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:34,400 When he was first ingested, I tweaked the time preferences, 1003 01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:37,800 made it seem like five years from his perspective. 1004 01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:41,920 Some might say that five years with me is punishment enough. 1005 01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:44,400 Wait here. 1006 01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:54,120 Mr Potter. 1007 01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:56,360 Congratulations on your confession. 1008 01:07:56,480 --> 01:08:02,200 That cookie we took out of your head just gave us the full story. 1009 01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:04,240 So you can keep the silent act up as long as you want. 1010 01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:07,320 Makes no difference, you've already talked. 1011 01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:14,240 Also, Merry Christmas. 1012 01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:28,880 So... The deal? 1013 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:32,720 Break a confession from him and I go free, right? 1014 01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:35,160 I'm the expert, you needed me. 1015 01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:38,480 That's one for the Home Office. 1016 01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:42,080 We'll make good on the offer. You're free to go, Mr Trent. 1017 01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:43,800 [RELIEVED SIGH] 1018 01:08:43,920 --> 01:08:46,640 [WOMAN] With some caveats. 1019 01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,640 - Caveats? - You'll be on the register. 1020 01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:51,320 What register? 1021 01:08:51,440 --> 01:08:53,560 The one for Peeping Tom pervs. 1022 01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:57,360 All I did was help some lonely guys by providing a service. 1023 01:08:57,480 --> 01:08:58,640 An illegal service. 1024 01:08:58,760 --> 01:09:00,960 You also failed to report a murder, 1025 01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:03,640 fatal poisoning, in case you've forgotten. 1026 01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:06,080 Kept that information from your Cookie Monster mate, didn't you? 1027 01:09:06,200 --> 01:09:08,400 What does it mean, this register? 1028 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,800 - It means you're blocked. - By who? 1029 01:09:10,920 --> 01:09:14,040 By everyone. 1030 01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:16,480 [CHOIR SINGING CHRISTMAS HYMN] 1031 01:09:33,800 --> 01:09:36,640 [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] 1032 01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,400 [MAN] Hot chestnuts! 1033 01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,680 [MUFFLED CHATTERING] 1034 01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:35,680 [ANXIOUS PANTING] 1035 01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:50,560 [♪ WIZZARD: "I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY"] 1036 01:10:57,440 --> 01:10:58,520 Hey, come on. 1037 01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:00,560 Just changing the time settings. 1038 01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:02,960 Cranked him up to 1,000 years a minute. 1039 01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:07,440 There's a proper sentence. Or do you want me to switch him off? 1040 01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:15,560 No. Leave him on for Christmas. 1041 01:11:48,480 --> 01:11:51,360 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 1042 01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:04,640 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 1043 01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:17,480 [SCREAMING] 1044 01:12:20,440 --> 01:12:21,880 [SCREAMING] 1045 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:42,760 [MUSIC CONTINUES]