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Somebody's looking for you.
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Oh, Miss Jeffries.
3
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Good morning, Marcia. I think
we have just what you're looking for.
4
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,746
We always get a good haul
over the Fourth of July.
5
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,164
Good, come on, let's go.
6
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,333
Here she comes, Bill.
7
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Won't you come in?
We'll see what we've got.
8
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Oh, wait a minute,
I forgot my tape recorder.
9
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- Boys, this is Miss Marcia Jeffries.
- How do you do?
10
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,571
Her uncle owns a radio station
here in town. KGRK.
11
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She's been doing
a roving-reporter progranา.
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Maybe you've been listening to it.
A Face in the Crowd?
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And a mighty nice
little program it is, too.
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I know this is a little unusual.
15
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But this morning, she's gonna do
her program from right in here.
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So, Miss Jeffries, the jail of
Tomahawk County is at your disposal.
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It's very simple. We just talk into
this little microphone in a natural voice.
18
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We just sort of chat back and forth.
Now, look, it's completely informal.
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So, if anybody wants to sing a song
or tell an anecdote or funny story...
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Let me see, now.
Hey, Beanie, last time you were in here,
21
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,700
seems to me I heard you singing something.
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I ain't got my teeth with me this time.
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This is radio KGRK,
the voice of Northeast Arkansas,
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bringing you its morning feature,
A Face in the Crowd.
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Whose face? Why, it could be yours.
26
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Or yours or yours, because people
are fascinating wherever you find them.
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This is Marcia Jeffries,
looking for more faces in the crowd.
28
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This time from the Tomahawk County Jail.
Okay, say something.
29
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Don't worry, Ma, everything's fine.
30
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Nicest jail I've been in
in this part of the country.
31
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Hey, you. You can do something.
32
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Just because I got black skin,
I ain't no minstrel, man.
33
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I'm sorry, Miss Jeffries,
but they're just an ornery bunch.
34
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Say, where's the drunk we taked in
last night with the guitar?
35
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,539
- What's his name?
- Rhodes. That's him lying over there in...
36
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Well, go over there and wake him up.
37
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Better watch him, he's mean.
38
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Miss Jeffries would like to speak
with him. Wake him up.
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Hey, wake up!
40
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Morning, Mr. Rhodes, I'm from radio KG...
41
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- Get away! Get away!
- The sheriff's here.
42
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,975
I don't care if the President
of the United States is here.
43
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A man can't get
a little decent sleep in jail...
44
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,778
Who are you?
45
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,278
I'd like to introduce you
to our radio audience
46
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- and have you sing a song and spin a yarn.
- Radio?
47
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,804
- Join me in a little back-fence talkin'—
- Wait a minute, wait a minute!
48
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Quit racing your motor.
49
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What do I get out of this?
50
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I mean Mr. Me-Myself-and-I.
51
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- Sheriff?
- What's he in here for?
52
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A week. Drunk and disorderly.
53
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,626
I think if you'd cooperate,
I might see my way clear
54
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,531
to let you out of here
first thing in the morning.
55
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Me, too, Sheriff? I'm his manager.
56
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:12,597
Sheriff, the boys in here says
you don't keep your word any too good.
57
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You live up to your end of the bargain,
and I'll live up to mine.
58
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Well, okay. It's a deal. Tomorrow morning.
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I'll sing you a song.
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00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,573
When I went east to Sarah Lawrence—
that's a college— I majored in music.
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00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,906
And I learned that the real American music
comes from the bottom up.
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When George Gershwin played in New York,
it was black-tie music.
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But the real beginning of it
was in folks who never owned a tie.
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00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,999
Now, I just bumped into a fella
you never heard of, name of Rhodes.
65
00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:46,302
- Hey, what's your first name?
- Jack or Mac, what's the difference?
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00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,468
Calls himself "Lonesome" Rhodes.
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00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:51,892
Lonesome?
68
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:57,857
Hey!
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00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,063
Hey, now, don't be rushing me.
Cut that thing off a minute.
70
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,028
Give me a chance to lubricate
my Adam's apple.
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00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,081
Ah!
72
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,784
Nothing like a little snake medicine
to put you in the mood.
73
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,459
Ain't Mama a beauty?
74
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,460
Oh, a guitar beats a woman every time.
75
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,590
You know, I never have seen a woman
I could trust like this old guitar.
76
00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:31,263
Love my Mama guitar.
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00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,972
She's always there, waiting for me
to pick her up and hold her.
78
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:39,681
Never asks me for money or goes
cheating around when I ain't looking.
79
00:06:40,317 --> 00:06:44,152
And if she gets a little sour, why,
I just give her a little twist like so,
80
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,320
and we're back in tune together.
81
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,774
- Hey, Lonesome, sing "Rye Whiskey."
- Lonesome.
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00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,359
"Hallelujah, I'm a Bum."
83
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,740
Oh, she can see that plain enough.
84
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,998
You know, ma'am,
whenever a bunch of fellas like us...
85
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:02,294
outcasts, hoboes, nobodies,
gentlemen loafers,
86
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,339
one-time or all-time losers,
call us what you want to...
87
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,626
whenever we get together,
we tell our funny stories.
88
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,213
Me and Beanie and the rest of these
hand-to-mouth tumbleweed boys
89
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,468
like you see in here.
90
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:19,809
♪ If whiskey don't get us
Then women must ♪
91
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:23,186
♪ And it looks like ♪
92
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,893
♪ I'm never gonna cease ♪
93
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:31,073
♪ My wandering ♪
94
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,568
But deep down,
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00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:37,155
when we get ready to tuck our heads
under our wings and go to sleep,
96
00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,870
we ain't kidding ourselves.
97
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,744
We're so low-down lonely,
98
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:46,376
the fella we couldn't stand the sight of
this morning,
99
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:51,719
tonight, when they get ready to douse
the lights and plunge us into darkness,
100
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:57,343
why, that same fella seems like
our nearest, dearest buddy.
101
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♪ Ten thousand miles away from home ♪
102
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:09,820
♪ And I don't even know my name ♪
103
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But I ain't crying.
104
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:19,160
No, I ain't crying, because I'm gonna be
a free man in the morning.
105
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,993
Ha! You hear that, fellas? A free man!
106
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,952
The sheriff's gonna open this cage,
107
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,790
and I'm gonna be as free as a bird
in the morning!
108
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:32,835
Hey, maybe I can try
putting a couple of rhymes together.
109
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:36,047
Ah, sing something dependable,
like "Home on the Range."
110
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I ain't gonna sing
no "Home on the Range."
111
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,803
No, sir, not if it means I rot in here
another month.
112
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,933
I'm gonna sing what I'm gonna be!
113
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A free man in the morning.
114
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:51,025
♪ Oh, good night, moon ♪
115
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♪ Moon, you just fade, fade
Fade, fade away ♪
116
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♪ Oh, good night, moon ♪
117
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,625
♪ Moon, you just fade away ♪
118
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,664
♪ And hurry up, Mr. Sun ♪
119
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:13,251
♪ Bring on a new day ♪
120
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,471
♪ Oh, bring on the sheriff ♪
121
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,184
♪ With his great big, old key ♪
122
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Yeah!
123
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:29,150
♪ Bring on old Big Jeff
The sheriff of Pickett, Arkansas ♪
124
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,318
♪ With his great big, old fat key ♪
125
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♪ To open up this nasty, filthy jailhouse
And make a free man of me ♪
126
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How about that, you got any objection
to being a free man in the morning?
127
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,372
- No, sir, I ain't.
- Ha ha!
128
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:45,950
♪ Gonna be a ♪
129
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:51,756
♪ Free man in the morning
Free man in the morning ♪
130
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:56,211
♪ Free man in the morning
Or know the reason... ♪
131
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All right, I'm ready as I'll ever be.
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Thank you, Lonesome Rhodes,
that was just fine.
133
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,039
You mean you had
that thing going all the time?
134
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:06,554
I'm a sneaky type.
135
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,807
Well, chop me up and sell me...
136
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,733
- You like him?
- Yes, sir.
137
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,779
By golly, Marcia, I think you've
got yourself quite a fella there.
138
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,527
Yep, quite a fella.
139
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,985
I sure would like to use him
on our early-bird show from 7:00 to 8:00.
140
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,570
Would you let me do that, Uncle J.B.?
141
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:26,665
- Number please, Mr. Jeffries.
- Hello. Get me the jail, Gladys.
142
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,834
- The jail?
- That's right, the sheriff.
143
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,996
Or should I say "our future mayor"?
144
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:38,052
You know, that boy may be bashful, Marcia,
but he's pretty sweet on you.
145
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,095
The only thing I'm interested in right now
146
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,844
is running the best radio program
in Northeast Arkansas.
147
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:45,889
Hello, Big Jeff?
148
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,930
- Rhodes?
- Yeah.
149
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,640
That was the agreement, J.B.
150
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:54,021
I was only holding him
on a drunk and disorderly.
151
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,570
I guess you got no idea
which way he was headed?
152
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:59,774
There's only two ways out of this town,
and I can't hardly see him going west,
153
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,951
because he just come from jail
over in West Pickett.
154
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,868
You'll likely find him on the east road.
155
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,488
Let's go after him.
156
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,700
There he is.
157
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,459
Hey!
158
00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:17,958
Hi. Morning!
159
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:22,676
- We've been looking for you.
- Yeah? What for?
160
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:27,180
Listen, this is my uncle, Mr. Jeffries,
who owns our radio station.
161
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,058
Well, how's it feel to be a free man
in the morning?
162
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,268
- Where you headed now?
- Port St. Joe, Florida.
163
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,320
Well, that's a long walk.
What's down there?
164
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,275
Oh, plenty of water
and plenty of fishing bridges
165
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,327
and snapper boats and tarpon rolling.
166
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:49,157
You know, I've always wanted
to catch me a tarpon.
167
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,491
What's to stop you?
168
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:55,797
I can't afford it. I got a radio station,
newspaper, printing business,
169
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:59,250
president of the Kiwanis.
I can't afford it.
170
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,420
- Come on, Beanie.
- Wait, we wanna talk to you.
171
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:05,347
Listen, I ain't got but four or five days
to make it to St. Joe.
172
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,260
Unless I steal somebody's car.
173
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,687
Now, you just wait a minute.
We got a job for you.
174
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,766
Every morning on our station,
7:00 to 8:00.
175
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,942
I don't want no job.
176
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:20,112
- Why not?
- It's too much like work, man.
177
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:21,530
You got any money?
178
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:26,953
Oh, Mama will always get me a little meal.
If it rains, I can sleep in a jail.
179
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,404
Come on, try it for a day.
180
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,665
How about if you had a plane ticket
to Florida?
181
00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:35,499
You can put it in your pocket.
If you ever wanna go, you just go.
182
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:40,759
Well...
183
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:45,588
okay. I'll try it for one day.
184
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,264
- I'll turn around.
- Let's go.
185
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,602
Marcia, take him over to the hotel
and get him a room.
186
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,809
Maybe we better clean him up a little bit.
187
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,028
See you around, Beanie.
188
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:07,780
Get in the back.
189
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,756
♪ Had a gal
Way down in Alabam' ♪
190
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,879
♪ I met her like a... ♪
191
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,892
♪ Gonna be a free man ♪
192
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,649
Would you mind closing the door?
193
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,694
My goodness, ain't we fussy.
194
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,691
Look, this wardrobe you got, I think
I better send it to the laundry for you.
195
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:50,448
Nah, I'll wash it out myself. That way,
I can cut out anytime I feel like it.
196
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,705
So early in the morning?
197
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,750
How'd you like to come over here
and sort of, uh,
198
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,023
get acquainted early in the morning?
199
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,754
We really do have to hurry.
200
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:05,255
I bet you never sat on a hotel bed
with a man before, did you?
201
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,509
Oh, really?
Look, I'll meet you downstairs.
202
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:15,887
♪ Free man in the morning
Free man in the morning... ♪
203
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:25,029
Ladies, or I guess I should say "girls,"
204
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,991
boss lady of this here program
just shoved a piece of paper at me
205
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,784
says I ain't got but three more minutes.
206
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,070
That's what I got against working.
207
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:35,702
It's all tangled up
with that word "hurry."
208
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,952
You know, back in my little old town
of Riddle, we had a cousin named Harry.
209
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:44,499
We called him Cousin "Hurry"
because he was always running someplace.
210
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:48,256
Till one day he fell down
a flight of steps and broke his fool neck.
211
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,881
We put a sign on his grave says:
212
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,717
"He was in such a hurry,
he just couldn't wait to get here."
213
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,892
Shucks, I was getting ready
to add on a verse
214
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,939
about being a free woman in the morning.
215
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,940
I bet a whole lot of you
dream about that sometimes
216
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:07,737
with all them breakfast dishes piling up
in the sink
217
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,362
and them cranky husbands
to get off to work.
218
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,615
Ain't it a shame the way they get on you
about every little old thing
219
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,913
just 'cause they ain't got gumption enough
to take it out on the boss?
220
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,366
Well, good-bye, dear. I'm late for work.
221
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:21,702
I hate to talk against my own kind,
222
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:24,379
but I never have seen a man yet
223
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,752
could appreciate how hard
you women has to work.
224
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,677
Why, they think running a little water
over a dish is all there is to it.
225
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,221
They never see you cleaning
the grease out of the sink
226
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:36,095
or wiping out of the oven the beef gravy
227
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,394
or the apple juice that sizzles over
the side of the dish onto your grill.
228
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,688
Now, how would he ever know that?
229
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:47,854
Listen to this one. "Dear Lonesome,
though I never set eyes on you..."
230
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,406
Hey, listen. "I know you must be
a saintly-looking man.
231
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,485
Only a saint could understand
the burdens of a housewife like you do."
232
00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:57,362
They all say the same thing. Morning, Bob.
233
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,325
They love his voice, they love his guitar,
they love his ideas.
234
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:01,829
They should know some of his ideas.
235
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,785
You're not fooling me,
you're proud of him.
236
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,246
Let's work in my office.
237
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:08,139
Listen, there hasn't been mail like this
since you started the station.
238
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,762
- Hello?
- Shh!
239
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,352
Oh, hello, Wayne.
240
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,438
Huh? Oh, so, you liked the fella, huh?
241
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:34,150
Okay, I guess we could put you down
for three one-minute spots.
242
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,490
Thanks for calling. Good-bye.
243
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,368
What do you know? Advertisers actually
calling in to buy time.
244
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:43,075
Looks like this station's liable
to make a little money yet.
245
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,287
I'd go easy on that advertising, Unc,
'cause I don't think he wants to stay.
246
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,918
Marcia, you found him.
Now it's your job to keep him here.
247
00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,845
That's the time, honey.
248
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:03,350
Every time you see this well run dry,
just come over here and prime her again.
249
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,021
That's right, Lonesome.
250
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,907
I'm afraid
that's gonna be your name.
251
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,147
My real intimate friends call me Larry.
252
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,694
You call me Larry, huh?
253
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,616
That's a good chaser.
254
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,490
You always drink like that?
255
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:27,461
Not always.
Back in Riddle, they was pretty strict.
256
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,164
Didn't allow us to touch hard liquor
till we was 10 or 11.
257
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,341
Now, is there really a town called Riddle?
258
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:39,097
Well, tell you the flat truth,
it's just a sort of a whatchacallit, a...
259
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,051
- Composite?
- Compost heap's more like it.
260
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,390
Where do you come from?
261
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,813
Oh, from all over.
262
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,484
Any town you mention for 500 miles,
I bet I lived in it a day or two.
263
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,530
- What'd your father do?
- He was a spieler with a two-bit con.
264
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:02,951
"Now, if each and every one of you
will hand me up your one-dollar bills,
265
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,579
I'm gonna favor you
with a five-dollar gift."
266
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,496
You still loved him, didn't you?
267
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,707
Ran off and left us
when I was knee-high to a beer barrel.
268
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,634
Your mother had to take care of you?
269
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,046
Never mind about her.
270
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,745
What about all those aunts and uncles
you're always talking about?
271
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,010
Uncles?
272
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,351
I wish I had a nickel
for every time I fell asleep
273
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,307
waiting for my old lady to come home.
274
00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:33,940
When I'd wake up, she'd say,
"Shh. Your uncle's sleeping."
275
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:38,942
I'd say, "Uncle Lou?"
She'd say, "No, this is your Uncle Mike."
276
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,276
Or, "Uncle Moe."
277
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:45,198
Seems like there wasn't a town in Arkansas
or Missouri I didn't have an uncle in.
278
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:51,791
Yes, ma'am, my old lady sure was generous
about taking in relatives.
279
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,207
Yet you grew up so happy-go-lucky.
280
00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,301
You put your whole self into that laugh,
don't you?
281
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:11,185
Marcia,
I put my whole self into everything I do.
282
00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:22,610
You mean you turned down an invite from me
to go out with this tramp?
283
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:26,743
- Why, you wanna fight?
- No, stop it! Stop it!
284
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,459
Mmm!
285
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,080
Thanks for them pies, gals.
286
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,294
You're gonna spoil me.
287
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:41,220
Well, I reckon I've sung at you enough
for one morning,
288
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:44,639
so, uh, maybe I ought to wind up
with a joke.
289
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:46,842
Let's see, um...
290
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,812
Yeah. I got one.
291
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,765
Sheriff Big Jeff Bess.
292
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,648
You say that ain't no joke?
293
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,068
The fact he's running for mayor
strikes me as kind of funny.
294
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,780
You know,
back in my little old town of Riddle,
295
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,700
the way we elect fellas to office is,
296
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:12,034
we try to figure which fella can best
be spared from useful labor.
297
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,462
Like, you take the village half-wit.
298
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,420
Now, in most places,
he's gonna be put on town relief,
299
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,544
but, now, in Riddle,
why, as economy measure,
300
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:24,129
we make him the dogcatcher.
301
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,716
But now, uh, this sheriff of yours,
302
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,018
now, of course,
I don't wanna say nothing agin him,
303
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:33,393
but if you got any mutts around
you wanna get rid of,
304
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:37,692
just take them over to his place
to see if he can handle the job.
305
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,020
Here, Whitey. Here, Whitey.
306
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,581
Hey, look at that fool!
307
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,597
How does it feel?
308
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,140
How does what feel?
309
00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:10,996
Just saying anything
that comes into your head
310
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,012
and being able to sway people like this.
311
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,721
Yeah, I guess I can.
312
00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:26,525
Yeah, I guess I can.
313
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,860
And now an amusing example
of grassroot democracy in action.
314
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,540
It seems there's a small-town
radio personality
315
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:38,086
called, uh, Lonesome Rhodes
out in Arkansas
316
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,210
who literally sent a mayoralty candidate
to the dogs.
317
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,634
Larry? Larry?
318
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:49,006
Listen, just plow right through them.
Keep going and leave the rest to me.
319
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,100
Thanks for bringing up my breakfast,
Laureen.
320
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:57,105
Mr. Steiner. Larry, this is Mr. Steiner.
321
00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,835
He's come all the way from Memphis
to see you.
322
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,020
Mr. Rhodes.
323
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:03,274
I'm one of the oldest theatrical agents
in the Mid-South.
324
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:06,231
I book a lot of acts
for the Grand Ole Opry.
325
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:10,615
I discovered Hank Snow and Webb Pierce.
326
00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:12,661
And the first morning I heard you,
327
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,786
I said to myself,
"Abe Steiner, that man's got power.
328
00:22:16,544 --> 00:22:19,628
Not just catchy songs and funny stories.
Power."
329
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,956
How would you like
to come to Memphis, son?
330
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,050
Memphis?
331
00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:30,256
Mr. Rhodes, you put me in mind of
Will Rogers when he first came to Memphis.
332
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:34,305
I can make you a star, boy,
if you put yourself in my hands.
333
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:39,102
Shucks, mister, I'm just a country boy.
334
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:42,434
I ain't even sure I wanna stay
in this danged old radio business.
335
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:47,531
I'm not one of these high-pressure fellas.
But do you mind if I call you again?
336
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:48,697
No.
337
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:52,990
Miss Jeffries.
338
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,626
Grand Ole Opry. That's the big time.
339
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:04,548
It never hurt none to play hard-to-get.
You ought to know about that.
340
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,843
You don't seem to be pining
for lack of company.
341
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:11,888
I get extra hungry in the morning.
342
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:20,021
You cold-fish respectable girls.
343
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:24,021
Inside, you crave the same thing
as the rest of them.
344
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:29,030
- Tell old Lonesome the truth.
- You're on in eight minutes.
345
00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,609
Ooh-wee!
346
00:23:32,703 --> 00:23:34,945
It's so hot this morning,
the creek just give up.
347
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:39,328
I mean it was bone dry.
348
00:23:40,002 --> 00:23:42,995
So, I think the young 'uns figure
they ain't got no place to swinา.
349
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:46,419
But my boss, old J.B. Jeffries,
350
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:49,967
he's got a fine swimming pool
right here in town.
351
00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:53,263
So, why don't all you kids just go on over
to his place for a ducking?
352
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:56,054
J. B. will be proud to have you.
353
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,892
Jeffries' big day!
354
00:24:07,154 --> 00:24:08,986
...personality, Lonesome Rhodes!
355
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,861
You hear them?
You hear them splashing and a-yelling?
356
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,277
That's your curly-headed little darlings
357
00:24:15,371 --> 00:24:19,206
enjoying J.B. Jeffries' kind hospitality.
358
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:23,168
- Mr. Rhodes. The phone for you.
- Shh! He's on the air.
359
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:25,336
- That's all right. Who is it?
- Who is it?
360
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,632
It's the program manager
at the Memphis TV station.
361
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:31,551
- He said Mr. Steiner told him about you.
- Well, shucks.
362
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:34,004
I can talk to him right here on the air.
363
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:36,010
Since all these folks out here
are my friends,
364
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,342
I ain't got nothing to hide from you.
365
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:39,516
Yeah?
366
00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,139
Hello there, partner!
367
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:47,146
What's that? You want me
to come on your TV in Memphis?
368
00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:52,402
With this kisser of mine? Ha ha!
All I gotta say is, you're a brave man.
369
00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:55,109
Five hundred dollars a week, huh?
370
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:57,389
- Confederate?
- Five hundred dollars a week?
371
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,120
Shh. We can do better than that.
372
00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:04,243
Partner, leaving Pickett's like leaving
my own flesh-and-blood kin.
373
00:25:04,878 --> 00:25:07,746
Now, if I got to take leave
of these good folks,
374
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,880
why, I'd rather try it gratis,
for nothing, for a couple of weeks.
375
00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:16,088
And if you ain't satisfied,
or if I get homesick for Arkansas,
376
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,423
why, back I come, and nobody gets hurt.
377
00:25:19,226 --> 00:25:22,310
But now, if we find we get along,
378
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:27,019
you make it, oh, $1,000 a week.
379
00:25:28,569 --> 00:25:30,401
Yeah, you get the idea.
380
00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:36,067
Oh, yeah, and transportation
for yours truly and my little gal Friday...
381
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,619
not to mention Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday and Thursday— Marcia Jeffries.
382
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:49,837
I'm glad you're going with him.
Take good care of him for me.
383
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:52,666
- I'll sure try.
- Take good care of yourself.
384
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:54,671
Board!
385
00:25:56,430 --> 00:25:57,511
Marcia!
386
00:25:59,183 --> 00:26:02,096
Come on, honey.
Come on, we'll be late. Come on.
387
00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:05,429
- Come on, the train will leave. Come on.
- Board!
388
00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:10,350
Bye! Bye, Lucy. So long, Luther.
You write to me, now.
389
00:26:10,444 --> 00:26:12,310
I'll be thinking of you good people.
390
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,441
Boy, am I glad to shake that dump.
391
00:26:15,657 --> 00:26:17,614
I was only kidding, honey.
392
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:20,660
You ought to know me better
than to believe everything I say.
393
00:26:21,747 --> 00:26:27,789
Ha! Bye! Bye! Good-bye
and God bless you, good people!
394
00:26:57,324 --> 00:27:00,317
If I'd known you was gonna put lipstick
on me, I'd have never come.
395
00:27:00,410 --> 00:27:03,369
Stop complaining, you look beautiful.
Lonesome, this is Mel Miller.
396
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,135
The station's assigned him as your writer.
397
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:08,826
Writer? You're gonna have
the easiest job in the world
398
00:27:08,919 --> 00:27:10,785
because I never learned much reading.
399
00:27:10,879 --> 00:27:13,041
I'll just block out
the continuity for you.
400
00:27:14,133 --> 00:27:15,920
What are you, Eastern college?
401
00:27:16,009 --> 00:27:18,376
No, as a matter of fact,
I went to school over in Nashville.
402
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:20,006
I was Vanderbilt '44.
403
00:27:20,848 --> 00:27:23,215
Okay, Vanderbilt '44.
404
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:25,846
Mr. Rhodes, we're ready for you now.
405
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:29,516
Hey, what are you doing to that makeup?
406
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:33,934
Now, this way, please.
407
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:41,192
Foot up here, look at the camera.
And relaxed, like this.
408
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:46,787
Ten seconds. Ready on one. Stand by, two.
409
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:51,163
And just be perfectly natural,
easy and relaxed, and real country.
410
00:27:51,253 --> 00:27:54,621
Now, when that red light is on,
that camera is on you.
411
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:56,422
Now, put this in your mouth.
412
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,218
I think that straw
is gonna be a very nice touch.
413
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:07,138
And here he is, ladies and gentlemen,
a newcomer to Memphis television
414
00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:09,184
but sure to become an old friend.
415
00:28:09,271 --> 00:28:13,390
A Face in the Crowd, starring that
Arkansas traveler Lonesome Rhodes.
416
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:16,400
What do you want?
417
00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:20,239
Howdy.
418
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:25,034
You know, I never have seen myself
on one of these things before.
419
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:31,450
So, if I stop and admire myself
on this, uh... what do you call it?
420
00:28:32,294 --> 00:28:34,206
- Monitor.
- Yeah, monitor.
421
00:28:34,922 --> 00:28:36,879
Show the folks what I'm talking about,
will you?
422
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,802
You know, the, uh...
the director said all I had to do was...
423
00:28:46,892 --> 00:28:47,892
Well.
424
00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:51,553
He said all I had to do was act
like I was looking straight at you.
425
00:28:53,523 --> 00:28:56,266
But what he forgot to say
was there'd be a great big, old red eye
426
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:57,817
looking straight at me.
427
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:01,987
You know, that old eye does look
kind of familiar, though.
428
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:04,649
Reminds me of my old Uncle Abernathy
429
00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:08,327
after a night of drinking
that fine old five-star corn liquor.
430
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:13,032
He put a star on the bottle
for every day it aged.
431
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:23,961
♪ If a ocean was moonshine
And I was a duck ♪
432
00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:25,545
♪ I'd dive... ♪
433
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:30,430
I got too hot a fire in my boiler
to sing this morning.
434
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,686
What's the matter
with you big-city fellas, anyhow?
435
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:36,765
Hey. Don't you all ever go to bed
around here?
436
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:40,727
Last night I settled down
for my 12-hour nap in the hotel,
437
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:43,609
and "moly hoses," what a honking
438
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:46,737
and lights flashing on and off
and gals giggling on the street.
439
00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:50,662
So, I called down to the desk
on this telephone they got in every room.
440
00:29:50,747 --> 00:29:52,659
"What's going on here?"
I says to the clerk.
441
00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:54,706
"It ain't New Year's Eve by any chance?"
442
00:29:55,377 --> 00:30:00,247
"No," he said.
"It's just 10:00 at night in Memphis."
443
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:02,047
So I pulled back on my duds
444
00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:04,877
and I went outdoors to take a look-see
what all the commotion was.
445
00:30:05,512 --> 00:30:09,176
Hey. Hey, Mr. Cameraman,
move that old red eye a little closer.
446
00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:11,452
He's only been on two minutes
and already telling us what to do.
447
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:14,264
I wanna talk face-to-face
with them friends of mine out there.
448
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:18,101
Hey, which one of these holes I look in?
449
00:30:19,026 --> 00:30:20,026
Yeah.
450
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:25,780
You know, one thing I could see right off
about a big city,
451
00:30:26,616 --> 00:30:29,529
there's a whole lot of people in trouble
out there.
452
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:31,819
You don't see it much in the daytime
453
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:34,075
when everybody's hustling
and bustling around,
454
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:36,658
rushing from where they is
to where they ain't.
455
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,536
But it's at night, you know,
late at night,
456
00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:43,248
around 4:00 in the morning
is what I call the "dividing line."
457
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:47,127
All you got left then is folks in trouble.
458
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:51,218
I wanna tell you good people something
that happened to me this morning
459
00:30:51,308 --> 00:30:53,140
just before the sun was ready to come up.
460
00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:55,844
I'm gonna tell it to you,
461
00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:58,350
and see if it don't happen to you
the way it happened to me.
462
00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:01,349
If it don't move your hearts
the way I think it will,
463
00:31:01,443 --> 00:31:03,856
then you're just a bunch
of big-city pickle-hearts.
464
00:31:03,945 --> 00:31:07,109
And I'm gonna pack up my one shirt
and the old Bible my daddy give me
465
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:10,988
and my cigar-box guitar,
and I'll just get me on home to Riddle.
466
00:31:11,912 --> 00:31:15,872
He's telling the truth about one shirt,
but I have yet to see the Bible.
467
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:19,246
When he talks about walking the night,
I couldn't write it that well.
468
00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:21,081
Now, come on out here.
469
00:31:21,171 --> 00:31:24,164
Don't be scared of this thing,
least any more than I am.
470
00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:25,498
This one?
471
00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:28,585
Hey, a colored woman.
In Memphis, that takes nerve.
472
00:31:29,054 --> 00:31:31,171
I told you, he's his own man.
473
00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:33,927
Now, you just tell the folks
the same thing you told me.
474
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:36,134
Well, you see, it's my house.
475
00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:40,096
It burnt down. She's got seven young 'uns
and there ain't no insurance.
476
00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:45,811
Oh, Hilda, look who they're having
on television now. It's about time.
477
00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:48,146
So she just walked around and around
478
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,448
because she didn't have
no place else to go.
479
00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:53,277
I didn't know a single living soul
in Memphis.
480
00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:55,699
Are you kidding?
481
00:31:55,789 --> 00:31:59,078
What do you gonna bet
you got 20,000 friends out there?
482
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,124
And each one of them's ready
to prove it to you
483
00:32:01,211 --> 00:32:03,954
by sending in half a buck
so you can get on back to Millington
484
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:06,505
and build a decent house
for them brats that are yours.
485
00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:10,210
Now, please,
nobody send in more than four bits
486
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:12,795
because you may not be able
to spare it yourself.
487
00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:15,806
Miss Cooley, maybe you think you just...
488
00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:18,680
Every pot over $10,
let's cut a half for that house of hers.
489
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:22,434
And they gonna be a-looking out for you.
Ain't you, folks?
490
00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:28,227
Yeah. Come in, door's open.
491
00:32:28,321 --> 00:32:30,438
Lonesome, you should see
how the money's pouring in!
492
00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:31,634
They need five girls to count it.
493
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,650
Young man,
you've graduated from sustaining.
494
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:34,984
You've got a client.
495
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:37,515
- What in the ever-loving world is that?
- It's a mattress company.
496
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:41,749
- That means you get your 1,000 a week.
- Get his shirt. Stand still, you slob.
497
00:32:41,835 --> 00:32:43,827
- Here. Get your hand in here.
- There you go.
498
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:45,748
Yeah, yonder she comes.
499
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,298
Mmm!
500
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:57,428
Sure is prettier music
than a cigar-box guitar.
501
00:32:57,517 --> 00:33:04,105
There's 18,541 of these things so far,
502
00:33:04,191 --> 00:33:05,727
and we ain't hardly started yet.
503
00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:10,107
Miss Cooley says thank you.
You're good people.
504
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:13,197
You folks are building a house.
505
00:33:13,283 --> 00:33:15,320
Ain't nothing in this world you can't do
506
00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:17,572
when you let the best side of you
take over.
507
00:33:19,372 --> 00:33:21,955
Oh, I see my old clock-watcher
going this a-way.
508
00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:25,080
He wants me to make sure
I leave time for the commercial.
509
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,477
You didn't know I had a sponsor, did you?
510
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,210
Neither did I till they woke me up
this morning.
511
00:33:32,093 --> 00:33:33,880
He's a good-looking scoundrel, ain't he?
512
00:33:33,970 --> 00:33:35,427
Hmm.
513
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:41,685
Heh! What? Yeah, I got the commercial
on me somewhere. Let's see, yeah.
514
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:48,316
See, it's... "Johnny Longshot's tip
for the daily double."
515
00:33:48,902 --> 00:33:51,895
No, no, that ain't it. Let's see.
516
00:33:54,741 --> 00:34:00,203
"Lonesome, darling, you ain't forgetting
your little Arkansas Annie?"
517
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,905
No, that surely ain't it.
518
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:08,331
This is it, this is it.
519
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:14,668
"Friends, comma, why not invest
in sleep insurance, question mark?
520
00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:16,969
That is what you will be doing
521
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:21,265
when you buy your Luffler
Easy Rest Mattress, period.
522
00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:24,469
Comes in six tasty flavors..."
523
00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:27,271
- Isn't he wonderful?
- That's our next commercial.
524
00:34:30,777 --> 00:34:33,815
Personally, when I'm dog-tired,
I can sleep on the floor.
525
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:36,898
One of the best night's sleep I ever had
was in a boxcar.
526
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:42,112
They say that a firm mattress
is better for your spine.
527
00:34:42,205 --> 00:34:44,117
But if you're gonna follow that
all the way,
528
00:34:44,207 --> 00:34:46,449
ain't it better to just go ahead
and sleep on the floor?
529
00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:47,954
Hmm.
530
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:51,625
But if some of you softies
insist on sleeping on a bed,
531
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:54,173
I reckon you can do worse
than a Luffler Easy Rest.
532
00:34:55,135 --> 00:34:56,251
End of commercial.
533
00:34:57,305 --> 00:34:59,637
Maybe also the end of Lonesome Rhodes.
534
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:06,883
Seriously, I was on the phone
with Mr. Luffler for half an hour.
535
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,348
I'm sure he's seen us,
and he hasn't even looked around.
536
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:13,355
He says he's got a loophole
in his contract,
537
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:16,563
and if you kid his commercial once more,
he's going to walk right through it.
538
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:23,243
- Hey, hiya, Lonesome.
- Hi.
539
00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:26,914
Oh, hey, hey. Boy, I almost forgot. Ha ha!
540
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,208
I got you a month's food ticket
at the White Owl
541
00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,188
- for the plug you gave them this morning.
- Yeah?
542
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:34,421
Yeah. Guess you didn't know I do
a little "schlock-meistering" on the side.
543
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:35,873
Schlock-meistering?
544
00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,675
You slip in a remark, innocent-like,
about one of these products,
545
00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,003
and they pay off in kind.
546
00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:43,760
A case of beer, free drinks
at the Yellow Rose Café, all that jazz.
547
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,591
I tell you, boy, it mounts up.
548
00:35:45,685 --> 00:35:48,849
Isn't that illegal,
stealing time from regular sponsors?
549
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:52,978
Illegal? Honey, nothing's illegal
if they don't catch you.
550
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:57,023
- See you around, Joey.
- Okay, Lonesome, see you around.
551
00:35:57,113 --> 00:35:59,901
- Who was that?
- Joey DePalma, Luffler's office boy.
552
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,482
He won't be an office boy long.
553
00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:07,781
Mr. Luffler told me he don't like me
to talk nasty about his mattress.
554
00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:11,163
Shucks, I said you could get
a good night's sleep on one of them.
555
00:36:12,212 --> 00:36:13,703
If you was real tired.
556
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,416
There I go again.
557
00:36:19,177 --> 00:36:23,638
But I just can't get my mouth around
some of them things they wanted me to say.
558
00:36:25,058 --> 00:36:26,549
Well, I'll try.
559
00:36:32,982 --> 00:36:35,474
"And now a message of importance."
560
00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:43,487
Now, you good people ain't so dumb
you don't know what's important.
561
00:36:43,576 --> 00:36:46,740
Atom bomb's important,
and things like that.
562
00:36:47,330 --> 00:36:49,822
I don't reckon a Luffler mattress
will break your back,
563
00:36:49,916 --> 00:36:52,784
but it sure ain't
no world-shaking message.
564
00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:58,172
Just in case you
won't be seeing me again...
565
00:36:58,258 --> 00:36:59,499
Hey, fellas, come on.
566
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,252
Here's a little song to remember me by.
567
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:09,184
Give me a "E."
568
00:37:10,229 --> 00:37:14,142
♪ Well, good-bye, Mr. Luffler
And thanks for the ride ♪
569
00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:18,768
♪ I like to have your money
But I'd rather have my pride ♪
570
00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:22,856
♪ On these corny old commercials
We just cannot agree ♪
571
00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:28,286
♪ So you can tear up my contract
Make a free man of me ♪
572
00:37:28,371 --> 00:37:32,365
- ♪ Gonna be a ♪
- ♪ Free man ♪
573
00:37:32,459 --> 00:37:34,917
- ♪ In the morning ♪
- ♪ Free man ♪
574
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,541
- ♪ In the morning ♪
- ♪ Free man ♪
575
00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:42,921
♪ In the morning
Or know the reason why ♪
576
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:46,049
- Yes, Mr. Luffler?
- Get me my lawyer.
577
00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:05,648
Yeah?
578
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:09,443
Who? Who is it?
579
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:12,492
It's me, Lonesome. Larry.
580
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,490
Thought I'd say good-bye.
581
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:17,918
Just a minute.
582
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:21,831
Just thought I'd tell you
I'm gonna hit the road.
583
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:24,383
- Where to?
- Oh, what's the difference?
584
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:26,593
For Mr. Luffler.
585
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:30,969
He wants to fire me unless I promise
to show him my scripts in advance.
586
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:33,517
There ain't no scripts.
It's just me.
587
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:36,353
- It was me.
- Larry, stay, even on sustaining.
588
00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,101
- Nah.
- What you did for Miss Cooley...
589
00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:41,309
- No, I'm not my brother's keeper.
- You are, and you don't know it.
590
00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:43,860
No, I don't kowtow to no mattress company.
591
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:47,197
See you in jail sometime.
592
00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:53,539
Well...
593
00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,036
we shook them up a little bit.
594
00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:59,118
- Got a ride for our money.
- Larry.
595
00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:03,873
You come here.
596
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:32,531
Did I call you a cold fish, Marcia?
597
00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:36,117
Marcia.
598
00:39:39,002 --> 00:39:40,959
It's short for "marshmallow."
599
00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:45,206
My marshmallow.
600
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:51,128
This way, please.
601
00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:08,696
Move it along.
Come on, move it, move it, move it.
602
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,701
Joey, the boss wants you.
603
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:20,658
That's terrible.
604
00:40:24,505 --> 00:40:26,667
- Mr. Luffler...
- No more phone calls.
605
00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:29,278
From the day that you hired Rhodes,
up to and including yesterday,
606
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:32,261
- our sales have increased 55 percent.
- I smell smoke.
607
00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:39,385
Mr. Luffler, I know he's hurt
your feelings, but as a merchandise man,
608
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:43,769
I must say that a 55-percent jump in sales
is quite a painkiller.
609
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:45,836
- I'll think it over.
- You called for me, Mr. Luffler?
610
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:48,477
Yes. I can always get him back.
611
00:40:49,197 --> 00:40:51,780
- They're for the credit department.
- Oh, yes, sir.
612
00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:56,570
Joey. You're a smart lad.
613
00:40:57,330 --> 00:40:59,822
Do you think I acted hasty in the firing?
614
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:02,454
If it were my product,
I wouldn't let anybody ridicule it.
615
00:41:02,543 --> 00:41:05,001
- Now what?
- Your wife on one.
616
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,087
Yes, dear?
617
00:41:08,341 --> 00:41:10,503
Would you mind your own business, dear?
618
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:13,836
And would you tell the ladies' garden club
to mind its own business.
619
00:41:14,514 --> 00:41:15,846
Credit department.
620
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:18,494
Get me Browning, Schlagel and McNally
in New York City right away.
621
00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:19,804
Don't worry, it's kosher.
622
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:22,637
- Mr. Luffler gave me a message for them.
- Know the number?
623
00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:24,610
It's the biggest advertising agency
in New York.
624
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,648
Browning, Schlagel and McNally.
625
00:41:26,734 --> 00:41:27,975
Now, try Information, huh?
626
00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:32,446
Browning, Schlagel and McNally.
Long-distance from Memphis?
627
00:41:32,532 --> 00:41:36,276
Just a moment.
A Mr. Joseph DePalma from Memphis.
628
00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:38,577
He represents Lonesome Rhodes.
629
00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:41,656
What a crazy business we're in.
630
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:44,457
This is about some joker
called Lonesome Rhodes
631
00:41:44,544 --> 00:41:46,752
on a local Memphis sta...
632
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:50,832
Hey. He topped both CBS
and NBC down there.
633
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:54,418
Hello? Mr. DePalma?
634
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:57,509
Yeah, hello, I just thought
I ought to let you know
635
00:41:57,598 --> 00:42:01,433
that Lonesome Rhodes
is being flooded with offers. Yeah.
636
00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:05,562
Yeah, if you happen to be interested,
5:00 is our deadline.
637
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:09,308
Uh-huh. Right. I'll call you back at 5:00.
638
00:42:09,402 --> 00:42:10,768
Fine.
639
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:14,902
- Well, pleasure, baby.
- I caught that show on my vacation.
640
00:42:14,991 --> 00:42:16,903
He's a living doll.
641
00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:18,988
Well, could be.
642
00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:20,865
E.B.D. and O. in New York City.
643
00:42:31,717 --> 00:42:32,877
Marcia.
644
00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:36,759
Marcia?
645
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:42,682
Marcia, you told me to pick you up
in time for the show.
646
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:03,196
- Oh, hey, have you seen Lonesome?
- You may find him in there.
647
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:04,575
Where? Here?
648
00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:09,706
- Oh, you mean in here?
- Wait a minute, sir.
649
00:43:09,796 --> 00:43:12,413
- I wouldn't barge in there if I were you.
- I'm not you.
650
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,875
Hey, hey, Lonesome. Lonesome boy. Hey.
651
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:17,379
Yeah, yeah, who is it?
652
00:43:17,470 --> 00:43:20,759
It's destiny, that's who it is.
It's your destiny.
653
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,214
- Who is it?
- Hi.
654
00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:25,142
- What? What?
- Honey child, I sold your show.
655
00:43:26,312 --> 00:43:28,053
- To who?
- To the big time.
656
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:32,252
You ever hear of Browning, Schlagel
and McNally? No, you wouldn't know.
657
00:43:32,276 --> 00:43:33,733
The advertising company.
658
00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:37,154
Boy, I got them bidding
against the Cutner Agency, MCA...
659
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:39,277
- MC who?
- And a dozen others you wouldn't know.
660
00:43:39,367 --> 00:43:42,735
Look, BS and M wants you
for The Vida Jakes Hour.
661
00:43:42,829 --> 00:43:47,039
Eight o'clock, coast-to-coast. I told them
we'd let them know at 1700 hours.
662
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:50,084
- Boy, I tell you, we're on to New York.
- We are?
663
00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:51,831
They asked if you had a New York agent.
664
00:43:51,921 --> 00:43:53,878
Would you like to meet
your New York agent?
665
00:43:55,216 --> 00:44:00,428
A bum out of jail in Pickett, Arkansas,
and a Memphis office boy! Hey.
666
00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:03,802
♪ I'm a roving gambler
Ramble all around ♪
667
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:07,760
♪ Whenever I see a deck of cards
I lay my money down ♪
668
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:08,854
Go, baby!
669
00:44:08,856 --> 00:44:11,313
♪ Whenever I see a deck of cards
I lay my money down ♪
670
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:12,890
♪ I lay my money down ♪
671
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:15,727
Here, will you sign this? Hey.
672
00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:17,152
♪ Oh, yes, I'll sign ♪
673
00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:19,396
Thank you. Oh, thank you.
674
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:23,860
Now, in the last quarter, gentlemen,
and Miss Valerie,
675
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:28,489
we have spent over $300,000
of General Haynesworth's money
676
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:31,867
to make this country Vitajex-conscious.
677
00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:35,295
And all we've succeeded in doing—
next chart, please...
678
00:44:35,756 --> 00:44:38,999
is dropping from ten percent
of the market to seven.
679
00:44:39,093 --> 00:44:40,300
Now, I...
680
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,924
Mr. Macey,
I'm late for the dog-food meeting now.
681
00:44:43,014 --> 00:44:46,223
- Can I say my say and go?
- Yes, Doctor.
682
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:47,309
Miss.
683
00:44:48,060 --> 00:44:52,100
Now, I've gone over this product
pretty carefully in the lab.
684
00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:56,605
Vitajex has a few grains of aspirin.
685
00:44:56,694 --> 00:44:59,437
A little sugar
that might give you some energy.
686
00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:05,026
But, well, frankly, general or no general,
we have nothing to sell.
687
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:07,736
Will you strike that from the transcript,
Miss Murray?
688
00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:13,000
You know that General Haynesworth
always reads the product group reports.
689
00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:16,078
I can't help it.
I was hired as a research chemist.
690
00:45:16,172 --> 00:45:19,290
Dr. Wylie, there's nothing wrong
with Vitajex, is there?
691
00:45:19,383 --> 00:45:21,625
It won't kill you,
if that's what you mean.
692
00:45:22,679 --> 00:45:25,532
I'd say it's relatively harmless,
like a lot of the old patent medicines.
693
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:28,640
Thank you, Doctor. Now let's get
this train back on the tracks.
694
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:29,726
Miss Mills.
695
00:45:29,728 --> 00:45:34,188
With all due respect
to our estimable television department.
696
00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:37,102
He hates our guts.
697
00:45:37,193 --> 00:45:42,439
And its sudden enthusiasm
for, uh, Lonesome Rhodes.
698
00:45:42,990 --> 00:45:46,233
I think we need a dignified sell.
699
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:50,825
I'd like to see a 15-minute participation
on the Ed Murrow show.
700
00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:54,666
Mr. Rhodes is here, sir.
701
00:45:55,503 --> 00:46:01,249
Jim boy, don't you think it?
Well, I mean, it's irregular.
702
00:46:01,342 --> 00:46:04,926
Well, I just thought if you and the boys
got a look at him, Mace,
703
00:46:05,012 --> 00:46:07,095
you'd see why the TV shop is sold on him.
704
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:11,471
- Gentlemen, Lonesome Rhodes.
- Hiya, folks.
705
00:46:13,020 --> 00:46:14,020
Howdy.
706
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:18,269
I come to help you sell these little
kidney pills, whatever the heck they are.
707
00:46:29,745 --> 00:46:33,455
Hey, what's the matter?
Ain't you got no spittoons around here?
708
00:46:34,667 --> 00:46:38,456
Denise,
would you bring the gentleman a spittoon?
709
00:46:40,464 --> 00:46:43,207
Now, what's your particular problem,
Mr. Fuzzy-Lip?
710
00:46:43,718 --> 00:46:48,088
Sit down, Mr. Rhodes. You may as well know
Vitajex is the sixth sister
711
00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:49,887
in the international drug family.
712
00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:52,703
They're even getting ready
to put out a smaller pill and to cut the...
713
00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:56,186
Jim boy,
before we make any hasty decisions,
714
00:46:56,272 --> 00:46:57,729
- I'd recommend—
- Shh, shh!
715
00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:02,942
Look at these poor little white pills
you're trying to peddle.
716
00:47:04,113 --> 00:47:07,527
Look kind of pale.
There's no charge to thenา.
717
00:47:09,201 --> 00:47:12,160
Hey, I got an idea.
Let's make them yellow.
718
00:47:12,747 --> 00:47:14,955
Yellow's the color of sunshine and energy.
719
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:18,375
Gives a fella that get-up-and-go
that sets him up solid with the ladies.
720
00:47:18,461 --> 00:47:20,828
You get the idea? Like this:
721
00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:24,631
"If you wanna be bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed,
722
00:47:24,717 --> 00:47:28,336
why, just gobble up a handful of Vitajex,
and your battery's charged."
723
00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:29,429
Watch.
724
00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:42,517
Ahh! Ha ha!
725
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:46,069
Whoo-wee! I am ready!
726
00:47:46,155 --> 00:47:49,899
I mean, I'm in the mood!
727
00:47:49,992 --> 00:47:54,532
My personality undergoes
a startling change.
728
00:47:54,622 --> 00:47:55,738
I have a spittoon...
729
00:48:00,211 --> 00:48:05,707
Oh, I'm gonna get you,
you little redheaded filly, you.
730
00:48:07,968 --> 00:48:11,882
That's what Vitajex does to me,
and I ain't even swallowed them yet.
731
00:48:13,474 --> 00:48:16,967
And you college geniuses
want dignity on your progranา.
732
00:48:17,061 --> 00:48:19,428
Back where I come from,
if a fella looks too dignified,
733
00:48:19,522 --> 00:48:21,684
we figure he's looking
to steal your watch.
734
00:48:21,774 --> 00:48:23,982
I'll move your merchandise.
735
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:29,313
Shh, shh, shh. Peace.
736
00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:32,152
Peace.
737
00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:35,698
♪ Oh, Vitajex ♪
738
00:48:36,247 --> 00:48:38,489
- ♪ What you doing to me? ♪
- Voom, voom, voom, voom.
739
00:48:38,582 --> 00:48:41,825
♪ Oh, Vitajex
What you doing to me? ♪
740
00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:43,035
Voom, voom, voom, voom.
741
00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:47,339
♪ You fill me full of ecstasy ♪
742
00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:48,666
Voom, voom, voom, voom.
743
00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:52,548
♪ Oh, Vitajex, what you doing to me?
Yeah ♪
744
00:48:53,013 --> 00:48:57,053
♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh ♪
745
00:48:57,143 --> 00:48:59,351
♪ Vitajex ♪
746
00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:03,602
♪ Vitajex
What you doing to me? ♪
747
00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:08,852
♪ Vitajex
What you doing to me? ♪
748
00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:14,150
♪ You fill me full of ooh
And ecstasy ♪
749
00:49:15,244 --> 00:49:18,112
♪ Vitajex
Puts the gleam in your eye ♪
750
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:24,293
♪ Vitajex
Puts the gleam in your eye ♪
751
00:49:28,048 --> 00:49:30,415
Keep your eye on that rating.
752
00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:31,625
Do it again.
753
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:36,259
♪ Vitajex puts the gleam in your eye ♪
754
00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:37,885
♪ It fills you full of ♪
755
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,261
Ooh!
756
00:49:39,351 --> 00:49:42,059
Ooh! Ooh!
757
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:51,479
And each pill contains 97 units
of energy-giving endrocaine.
758
00:49:55,034 --> 00:49:58,573
♪ Vitajex, jex, jex
Makes you go, go, go ♪
759
00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:00,028
♪ Vitajex, jex, jex ♪
760
00:50:00,122 --> 00:50:02,660
Keep your eye on that rating.
761
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:05,618
That's why Vitajex gives you
that get-up-and-go.
762
00:50:05,711 --> 00:50:09,796
Do you have trouble
with your girl? Does she look elsewhere?
763
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:13,171
Here's how Vitapig solved his problem.
764
00:50:21,810 --> 00:50:23,392
Oh, Vitajex.
765
00:50:24,605 --> 00:50:30,021
- ♪ You fill me full of ooh and ecstasy ♪
- See what I mean?
766
00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:32,102
This is General Haynesworth.
767
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:35,280
I've just seen Lonesome what's-his-name
on the television,
768
00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:36,482
and I like him.
769
00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:44,119
Why don't you take Vitajex
like Lonesome Rhodes does.
770
00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:48,919
She's talking about
the new large economy size.
771
00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:56,380
I bought my boyfriend a ten-year supply.
772
00:50:57,888 --> 00:51:01,177
- And now, the soft sell.
- Oomph.
773
00:51:01,267 --> 00:51:03,054
Keep your eye on the rating.
774
00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:07,012
- Vitajex, Vitajex, Vitajex.
- Vitajex, what you're doing to me.
775
00:51:07,106 --> 00:51:10,395
- Now, the hard sell.
- Vitajex, Vitajex.
776
00:51:12,528 --> 00:51:14,269
Vitajex, 39.8.
777
00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:26,539
General,
I-I'm willing to put myself on record.
778
00:51:27,167 --> 00:51:30,285
I say he's a risk.
Uncooperative and unpredictable.
779
00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:32,704
Why, we've spent
tens of thousands of dollars
780
00:51:32,798 --> 00:51:36,382
to find out the key words
like "bracing" and "zestful."
781
00:51:37,052 --> 00:51:40,671
Rhodes has the audacity to tear our copy
to shreds right in front of the audience.
782
00:51:40,764 --> 00:51:42,676
Thirty-nine-point-eight.
783
00:51:43,183 --> 00:51:44,663
Hey, General, where the heck are you?
784
00:51:44,727 --> 00:51:48,220
General, if you'll forgive us,
we have to get back to town.
785
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,897
Why, hello, girls.
786
00:51:50,983 --> 00:51:54,021
How's Princeton '28
and old eight for the stump?
787
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:01,775
Afraid I make these Madison Avenue fellas
kind of unhappy.
788
00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:04,282
I'm not in the business
to make those fellows happy.
789
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:07,785
I'm in the business of putting the public
in a frame of mind to buy Vitajex.
790
00:52:07,875 --> 00:52:09,958
- Exactly.
- Excuse us, dear.
791
00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:11,455
- Of course.
- Poor old Mace.
792
00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:15,038
He's already had one heart attack.
You're winding him up to another one.
793
00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:17,840
- Well, General, that's his hard luck.
- Hello, Senator.
794
00:52:17,926 --> 00:52:21,670
- Did you have a fine flight?
- Splendid, splendid.
795
00:52:21,764 --> 00:52:24,097
I'll join you
when I get freshened up a bit.
796
00:52:24,183 --> 00:52:25,799
That's my houseguest, Senator Fuller.
797
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:28,174
That's the sort of man I'd like to see
in the White House.
798
00:52:28,228 --> 00:52:30,123
Don't they call him
the last of the isolationists?
799
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:33,015
Oh, maybe in some of those left-wing
New York papers.
800
00:52:33,108 --> 00:52:35,896
Rhodes, I want you
to get to know people like that.
801
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:39,150
I'd like to sort of take you under my wing
and educate you.
802
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,698
Heh. Shucks, General,
I'm just a country boy.
803
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:45,402
Young man, never forget Will Rogers.
804
00:52:45,496 --> 00:52:48,910
He was just a gum-chewing,
rope-twirling cowboy.
805
00:52:48,999 --> 00:52:52,288
But he got to where he was
telling off presidents and kings.
806
00:52:52,878 --> 00:52:55,962
General, my thinking is the second section
of the same train.
807
00:52:57,091 --> 00:53:00,004
I've always gone in
for long-range planning.
808
00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:04,054
Right now, Lonesome is merely popular.
Oh, very popular.
809
00:53:04,139 --> 00:53:09,100
But Lonesome Rhodes could be made
into an influence, a wielder of opinion.
810
00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:12,645
An institution positively sacred
to this country,
811
00:53:12,731 --> 00:53:14,597
like the Washington Monument.
812
00:53:14,692 --> 00:53:18,106
I suspect your idealistic young lady
disagrees with me.
813
00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:21,154
But my study of history has convinced me
814
00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:24,699
that in every strong and healthy society
from the Egyptians on,
815
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:27,994
the mass had to be guided
with a strong hand
816
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,787
by a responsible elite.
817
00:53:29,873 --> 00:53:34,163
Let us not forget that in TV
we have the greatest instrument
818
00:53:34,253 --> 00:53:37,121
for mass persuasion
in the history of the world.
819
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:38,775
General,
I don't mean to flatter you, sir...
820
00:53:38,799 --> 00:53:41,883
What? Oh, yes.
Let's have a go at it, shall we?
821
00:53:41,969 --> 00:53:44,256
Roger. Roger!
822
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:47,426
Are you jotting this down?
823
00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:53,387
First, I'll see if I can sell him
on the idea of a Life cover.
824
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:55,437
Remind me to call him for lunch.
825
00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:15,163
I proudly dedicate to you
the latest hybrid iris
826
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:17,835
of our horticultural laboratory,
827
00:54:17,921 --> 00:54:20,914
the unusfloratorum.
828
00:54:21,008 --> 00:54:26,720
We girls call it the Lonesome Rhodes iris.
829
00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:30,845
I christen thee the USS Rhodes.
830
00:54:37,191 --> 00:54:40,400
And so, in behalf
of our great commonwealth,
831
00:54:40,486 --> 00:54:43,945
I'm proud to dedicate
one of nature's wonders,
832
00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:48,901
henceforth and forever
to be known as Mount Rhodes.
833
00:54:53,832 --> 00:54:58,167
And now, Lonesome,
back in those difficult days,
834
00:54:58,837 --> 00:55:00,703
you had a pal.
835
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:03,836
We flew him to New York tonight
836
00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:08,216
to help recall the struggle and joys
of times gone by.
837
00:55:08,889 --> 00:55:12,348
Because, Lonesome Rhodes, you lived it.
838
00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:18,479
Hey, Lonesome! Ha ha!
839
00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:20,272
Beanie!
840
00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,189
Good to see you.
841
00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:27,613
You ugly scoundrel.
Where you been anyhow, huh?
842
00:55:27,699 --> 00:55:29,986
We gotta go out and get you
some good-looking clothes.
843
00:55:30,077 --> 00:55:32,364
You've been looking ugly
about as long as I can stand.
844
00:55:33,330 --> 00:55:36,744
White Plains, New York.
Thank you, thank you.
845
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,498
Yeah. Hey, listen to this, listen to this.
846
00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:44,001
"Dear Lonesome, the boys in our ward
at the veterans' hospital
847
00:55:44,091 --> 00:55:47,835
just got together and donated $9.75."
848
00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:51,217
You ask me how I can keep going 17 hours
without sleep?
849
00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:53,514
Man, this is better than sleep.
850
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,183
Didn't I tell you, kid? Didn't I tell you?
851
00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:58,011
Do you still want me to hold this sign?
852
00:55:59,815 --> 00:56:04,526
As general manager of the Sherry Towers,
it's my honor to present you a gold key
853
00:56:04,611 --> 00:56:07,900
to the two top floors
of New York's finest hotel.
854
00:56:10,450 --> 00:56:14,160
- To the very top, boy.
- Yeah, you can't go much higher than that.
855
00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:25,083
Oh.
856
00:56:28,427 --> 00:56:30,760
Hello? Oh, Larry.
857
00:56:31,597 --> 00:56:33,179
Oh, what? What time is it?
858
00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:37,057
Marcia, you gotta come over.
859
00:56:37,603 --> 00:56:39,560
I never should've let Joey
sell me on the idea
860
00:56:39,646 --> 00:56:41,729
of living in a penthouse over the offices.
861
00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:43,898
Twenty-five rooms to be alone in.
862
00:56:43,984 --> 00:56:47,694
I feel like a shipwrecked fella
on an island.
863
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:49,611
Oh, Larry, I know that island.
864
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:52,281
It's populated by a tribe
of friendly girls.
865
00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:56,236
Marcia, honey, do you believe me when
I say it's a matter of life and death?
866
00:56:58,874 --> 00:57:00,410
Call me soon, doll.
867
00:57:02,544 --> 00:57:04,160
Huh? Larry?
868
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:07,543
If you don't come,
I'll dive off this balcony into the park,
869
00:57:07,633 --> 00:57:09,420
and I'm ten blocks from the lake.
870
00:57:17,142 --> 00:57:19,429
Marcia, come out here a minute.
871
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:33,694
I had a girl up here tonight.
872
00:57:35,827 --> 00:57:37,034
I get restless.
873
00:57:37,955 --> 00:57:42,541
Well, I lied to you, but when it's over,
I'm more lonely than I was before.
874
00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:46,937
Marcia, will you come out here a minute?
875
00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:54,677
Look at all them TV aerials sticking up
like branches down there.
876
00:57:55,263 --> 00:57:59,007
There's a whole forest of them
from here to San Diego.
877
00:58:00,310 --> 00:58:02,848
All of them waiting to hear
what I got to say.
878
00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:05,976
Is that what you woke me up
in the middle of the night for?
879
00:58:06,566 --> 00:58:08,683
Marcia, what I'm trying to say is,
880
00:58:08,777 --> 00:58:11,110
all of them millions of people
believing in me,
881
00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:13,112
doing what I tell them to,
882
00:58:14,783 --> 00:58:15,783
scares me.
883
00:58:16,535 --> 00:58:20,449
Honest. General and all them big shots
trying to educate me.
884
00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:22,614
Educate you or use you?
885
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:26,409
That's it, see?
The general says our country needs me.
886
00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:28,290
I'm supposed to be an influence.
887
00:58:32,050 --> 00:58:34,258
That's mighty tall grass, Marcia.
888
00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:41,052
We're getting in deep, Marcia.
889
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:46,141
A thousand times deeper than we dreamed
when we were starting out in Arkansas.
890
00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:51,024
I know on the set I'm beginning to act
891
00:58:51,111 --> 00:58:53,945
like I just ate the western hemisphere
for breakfast.
892
00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:58,366
Then, down here in the boiler room,
I know I need advice.
893
00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:02,867
Not the kind I get from Joey
or the Madison Avenue high-domes
894
00:59:02,956 --> 00:59:06,575
who say "gesundheit"
before I even pucker up to sneeze.
895
00:59:07,419 --> 00:59:11,288
No. And now, when I'm coming
to the top of the mountain,
896
00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:16,251
I need you, because you level with me.
897
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,134
You're my lifeline to truth, and...
898
00:59:22,476 --> 00:59:23,476
well...
899
00:59:25,812 --> 00:59:27,269
marry me, Marcia.
900
00:59:28,315 --> 00:59:29,315
Will you?
901
00:59:30,358 --> 00:59:32,475
That's what I called you over here for.
902
00:59:49,795 --> 00:59:51,832
Can't keep anything alive up here.
903
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:55,248
Dust in this city kills everything.
904
01:00:02,140 --> 01:00:03,140
Larry.
905
01:00:10,607 --> 01:00:11,723
Don't play with me.
906
01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:14,984
Don't hurt me.
907
01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:22,908
Don't hurt me.
908
01:00:30,836 --> 01:00:34,204
♪ An old-fashioned marriage ♪
909
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:37,256
♪ Is my kind of marriage ♪
910
01:00:37,342 --> 01:00:40,926
♪ A marriage that never grows old ♪
911
01:00:41,012 --> 01:00:42,628
Marcia, there's a lady to see you.
912
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:45,886
- A lady?
- I guess so, she's got a dress on.
913
01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:48,138
I don't wanna see anybody up here.
914
01:00:48,228 --> 01:00:50,720
Okay, I'll tell her to pick it up
and move it out.
915
01:00:53,233 --> 01:00:55,600
- I'm sorry, ma'am—
- I... I... I...
916
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:58,357
I... I... Ahh.
917
01:00:59,364 --> 01:01:03,153
You know,
some of you trade in your old cars...
918
01:01:03,243 --> 01:01:04,279
Are you the...
919
01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:07,779
I am Mrs. Rhodes.
920
01:01:11,084 --> 01:01:13,827
You related to Mr. Rhodes?
921
01:01:14,546 --> 01:01:15,787
Mm-hmm.
922
01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:19,999
But you're not his mother.
923
01:01:22,304 --> 01:01:23,636
His wife.
924
01:01:27,225 --> 01:01:28,341
All right, Beanie.
925
01:01:28,977 --> 01:01:31,594
You know, the other day,
I was talking about divorce...
926
01:01:35,358 --> 01:01:38,317
Ohh. Isn't he something?
927
01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:41,525
You mind if I mute this brass a little?
928
01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:48,704
So...
929
01:01:51,625 --> 01:01:53,992
you're Lonesome's new tootsie, huh?
930
01:01:56,421 --> 01:01:58,834
Lonesome. That's a hot one.
931
01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:03,418
I hope you have better luck
keeping him lonesome than I did.
932
01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:08,715
I think you should understand I'm just
a business associate of Mr. Rhodes.
933
01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:11,642
Ain't you the whole box top, though?
934
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:17,148
The floor manager of your program
is my brother-in-law's first cousin.
935
01:02:17,234 --> 01:02:19,476
He told me where I could find you.
936
01:02:19,986 --> 01:02:23,445
So you come off it, little lady.
937
01:02:24,282 --> 01:02:25,773
You mind if I do?
938
01:02:26,785 --> 01:02:27,992
I'm through with it.
939
01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:35,909
I must say, Mr. Rhodes might have done me
the courtesy of telling me himself.
940
01:02:36,002 --> 01:02:40,212
Oh, Mr. Rhodes don't do
no courtesies to nobody.
941
01:02:40,298 --> 01:02:42,540
I could write a book about him.
942
01:02:43,468 --> 01:02:46,461
Is that the purpose of your visit,
to collect some more material?
943
01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:49,046
Oh, I came to collect,
944
01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:51,345
but it ain't material.
945
01:02:52,310 --> 01:02:55,803
Unless you get Larry to pay me
three grand a month,
946
01:02:55,897 --> 01:02:58,765
not only will I not divorce him,
947
01:02:58,858 --> 01:03:01,942
but I will make it plenty hot
for the both of you.
948
01:03:03,530 --> 01:03:07,991
I already got some feelers
from Confidential magazine.
949
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:15,160
I'm not engaged to your husband.
950
01:03:15,250 --> 01:03:16,331
Ah.
951
01:03:17,085 --> 01:03:21,079
Larry, he thinks he has to take a bite
out of every broad he comes across.
952
01:03:22,132 --> 01:03:24,875
Then he calls them a tramp,
and he drops them, and...
953
01:03:25,468 --> 01:03:29,257
All sort of psycho-something-or-other,
you know?
954
01:03:30,265 --> 01:03:33,508
I caught him red-handed
with my best girlfriend.
955
01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:35,392
He broke my jaw.
956
01:03:36,146 --> 01:03:38,638
Seems to be working quite effectively now.
957
01:03:38,732 --> 01:03:39,732
Mm-hmm.
958
01:03:40,442 --> 01:03:44,311
Mrs. Rhodes, if you'll excuse me,
I'm very busy this morning.
959
01:03:47,824 --> 01:03:52,239
Well, tell Larry, three-G a month,
then he's yours.
960
01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:01,418
Happy second honeymoon,
Austin and Wilma.
961
01:04:02,881 --> 01:04:09,094
♪ An old-fashioned marriage
Is my kind of marriage ♪
962
01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:13,677
It's a sincere-type song,
should be a big hit.
963
01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:15,599
♪ An old-fashioned church ♪
964
01:04:15,685 --> 01:04:19,349
♪ An old-fashioned kiss
Needs a... ♪
965
01:04:19,439 --> 01:04:20,896
Oh, shut up.
966
01:04:22,942 --> 01:04:26,856
♪ Friendly greeting, Sunday-go-to-meeting
Just plain folks ♪
967
01:04:26,946 --> 01:04:30,565
♪ Bible-reading, pork-chop-feeding
Just plain folks ♪
968
01:04:30,658 --> 01:04:32,900
♪ Stew on the table
Mule in the stable... ♪
969
01:04:32,994 --> 01:04:35,281
These are our Barefoot Baritones.
970
01:04:35,372 --> 01:04:37,989
- They're rehearsing our new theme song.
- Very catchy.
971
01:04:38,083 --> 01:04:39,619
Lonesome just wrote it.
972
01:04:39,709 --> 01:04:41,854
Actually,
those two fellas over there wrote it.
973
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:43,665
Of course, their names aren't on it.
974
01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:48,169
Now, General, General,
we wanted to show you this.
975
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:51,218
Lonesome Rhodes designed it himself.
A reaction machine.
976
01:04:51,304 --> 01:04:54,468
You just push these little levers here.
It can laugh.
977
01:04:58,144 --> 01:04:59,180
Giggle.
978
01:05:02,690 --> 01:05:04,932
- Ahh.
- Ahh.
979
01:05:05,026 --> 01:05:06,921
- Ain't that a booger, General?
- Most ingenious.
980
01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:08,857
We're thinking of putting them
on the market.
981
01:05:08,947 --> 01:05:11,360
The Lonesome Rhodes Automatic Reactor.
982
01:05:11,449 --> 01:05:14,533
Mechanical laughter, mechanical applause?
What are we coming to?
983
01:05:14,619 --> 01:05:16,979
We're coming to a bigger model,
that's what we're coming to.
984
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:21,198
I'm sorry to end this with you.
Been most interesting.
985
01:05:21,292 --> 01:05:24,126
But I've got a date at my club.
Lunch with Senator Fuller.
986
01:05:25,338 --> 01:05:26,658
What's the matter with you today?
987
01:05:27,173 --> 01:05:30,211
General, I wish you had time to see
our whole operation,
988
01:05:30,301 --> 01:05:31,667
the various departments.
989
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:34,615
Marcia, you're wound tighter than a clock
this morning. What's the matter?
990
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:35,908
Next time you propose to somebody,
991
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:37,844
you might consider
getting unmarried first.
992
01:05:39,727 --> 01:05:43,186
Listen, Beanie told me.
It ain't as bad as you think.
993
01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:46,266
See, I got a divorce
a couple of years ago in Mexico,
994
01:05:46,359 --> 01:05:48,351
but the judge got indicted for fraud.
995
01:05:48,445 --> 01:05:51,565
- So my ex claimed that the divorce—
- Here are the latest ratings, Mr. Rhodes.
996
01:05:53,074 --> 01:05:56,158
Whoo! Hallelujah!
997
01:05:56,244 --> 01:06:01,080
Rhodes, 41.4. Opposition, 19.5.
998
01:06:02,542 --> 01:06:05,250
Boy, that other fella's gonna be
jumping out of windows.
999
01:06:06,045 --> 01:06:09,834
Oh, so, like I say, the ex claimed
the divorce was a fraud, too.
1000
01:06:09,924 --> 01:06:12,291
I got a good lawyer
working it out for me in Juárez.
1001
01:06:12,385 --> 01:06:15,253
He said if I come down there,
he'd get her off my back in 24 hours.
1002
01:06:16,181 --> 01:06:18,889
Larry, don't play with me.
I'm not one of your girls.
1003
01:06:19,350 --> 01:06:22,058
On a stack of bibles, Marcia.
1004
01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:24,228
Look, Saturday,
I'm going to be down in Pickett
1005
01:06:24,314 --> 01:06:26,556
judging the Arkansas
Drum Majorette Contest.
1006
01:06:26,649 --> 01:06:28,811
I'll go straight from there to Mexico.
1007
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:33,316
The next time you hear from me,
it'll be from Juárez. Believe me.
1008
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:37,526
- Dreadful. That is just dreadful.
- "Classics adapted while you wait.
1009
01:06:37,619 --> 01:06:40,157
We also take in laundry."
Yeah. That's a new one.
1010
01:06:40,246 --> 01:06:43,455
Hey, welcome to
the Black Hole of Calcutta.
1011
01:06:43,541 --> 01:06:47,376
- One place they didn't show the general.
- Naturally. Here you see the lepers
1012
01:06:47,462 --> 01:06:50,876
of the great television industry.
Men without faces.
1013
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:53,002
Why, they even slide our paychecks
under the door
1014
01:06:53,092 --> 01:06:55,004
so they can pretend we're not here.
1015
01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:57,177
Ha ha ha.
1016
01:06:57,263 --> 01:06:59,755
But think of the satisfaction
of being even a small cog
1017
01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:03,183
in the great wheel of humanity
known as Lonesome Rhodes.
1018
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,805
Ha ha ha.
1019
01:07:04,896 --> 01:07:07,434
Get her. Sounds like she's
coming over to our side.
1020
01:07:07,524 --> 01:07:09,106
Ha ha ha.
1021
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,852
- Why don't you quit?
- Why don't you quit?
1022
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:15,521
Because I'm deeply involved with him.
1023
01:07:16,491 --> 01:07:17,857
Spoken like a lady.
1024
01:07:19,118 --> 01:07:20,450
You got his introduction ready?
1025
01:07:21,162 --> 01:07:24,621
The hometown boy, not only making good,
but making everybody.
1026
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:27,534
For a mild man, you sound vicious.
1027
01:07:27,627 --> 01:07:30,165
Didn't you know? All mild men are vicious.
1028
01:07:30,255 --> 01:07:33,544
They hate themselves for being mild
and hate the windy extroverts
1029
01:07:33,633 --> 01:07:37,297
whose violence seems to have
a strange attraction for nice girls...
1030
01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:38,468
who should know better.
1031
01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:43,383
"Today A Face in the Crowd
takes you on a sentimental journey
1032
01:07:43,476 --> 01:07:46,719
as Lonesome Rhodes,
your old Arkansas traveler,
1033
01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:52,400
goes home to the typical dirt-road,
cotton-picking town of Pickett, Arkansas."
1034
01:07:52,485 --> 01:07:54,630
Where America's favorite country cousin
1035
01:07:54,654 --> 01:07:56,190
first got his humble start,
1036
01:07:56,281 --> 01:07:58,614
and where he now returns
to the simple folks
1037
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,362
who saw and loved him first.
1038
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:02,568
To choose, on his latest
Face in the Crowd,
1039
01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:04,574
the lucky and talented girl
1040
01:08:04,664 --> 01:08:07,156
whom he will select from hundreds
of contestants
1041
01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:11,460
as Miss Arkansas Drum Majorette of 1957.
1042
01:08:11,546 --> 01:08:14,584
And here's the man you've been
waiting for. Here he is—
1043
01:08:14,674 --> 01:08:17,257
Look at them. Look at them!
1044
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,251
Ain't they the most?
1045
01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:25,512
I mean the most! Corn-fed gals.
Country people.
1046
01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:29,312
The heart of America.
The salt of the earth.
1047
01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:39,355
Hey, Beanie, Beanie! "L.R."
1048
01:08:39,449 --> 01:08:41,566
"We love L.R."
1049
01:08:46,080 --> 01:08:49,744
Hi, Lonesome!
1050
01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:52,956
Hi, you all!
1051
01:09:05,099 --> 01:09:08,183
- It's dangerous.
- What, baton twirling?
1052
01:09:08,269 --> 01:09:10,477
No. Power.
1053
01:09:10,563 --> 01:09:14,056
You gotta be a saint to stand off
the power that little box can give you.
1054
01:09:17,945 --> 01:09:20,483
I got a button! I got a button!
1055
01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:22,239
Ohh!
1056
01:09:22,950 --> 01:09:24,532
Ohh, it's wonderful.
1057
01:09:35,755 --> 01:09:37,838
Lonesome Rhodes, rah-rah-rah!
1058
01:09:45,973 --> 01:09:49,842
♪ Friendly greeting, Sunday-go-to-meeting
Just plain folks ♪
1059
01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:53,520
♪ Bible-reading, pork-chop-eating
Just plain folks ♪
1060
01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:57,190
♪ Stew on the table, mule in the stable
Just poor folks ♪
1061
01:09:57,276 --> 01:10:00,519
♪ Bill and Mabel, Levi label
Just plain folks... ♪
1062
01:10:00,947 --> 01:10:02,904
She's only 17.
1063
01:10:03,533 --> 01:10:05,570
She looks like a very sweet child.
1064
01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:09,074
♪ Just plain folks ♪
1065
01:10:12,875 --> 01:10:14,537
Friends.
1066
01:10:20,925 --> 01:10:22,712
Friends.
1067
01:10:27,598 --> 01:10:28,964
Friends.
1068
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:35,221
My heart is too full to say anything more
1069
01:10:35,314 --> 01:10:38,853
than welcome back to Pickett.
1070
01:10:39,569 --> 01:10:44,564
A great artist, a great humanitarian,
1071
01:10:45,450 --> 01:10:47,362
a great American.
1072
01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:52,447
Our very own Lonesome Rhodes.
1073
01:11:00,965 --> 01:11:02,081
Friends,
1074
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:07,093
fellow Arkansasians, fellow Americans.
1075
01:11:07,930 --> 01:11:10,923
I know I should start off
with a funny story
1076
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,804
about them kinfolk of mine in Riddle,
1077
01:11:12,894 --> 01:11:16,683
but I just feel too humble this afternoon
1078
01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:20,312
as I look out upon
this fine representative body
1079
01:11:20,401 --> 01:11:22,814
of wholesome young American womanhood.
1080
01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:26,780
You know, I've been a fan
of baton twirling from way back.
1081
01:11:26,866 --> 01:11:29,779
I think it's a honest-to-God
American art form.
1082
01:11:30,328 --> 01:11:33,617
Here's a little number I just wrote
and recorded for the Gold Oak label.
1083
01:11:33,706 --> 01:11:36,039
Thought you kids might enjoy
twirling to it.
1084
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,959
Here she goes, "Mama Guitar."
1085
01:11:41,047 --> 01:11:45,587
Oh, yeah. Our first contestant will be
1086
01:11:45,676 --> 01:11:48,419
Miss Suzanne McKinley of Beaglestown.
1087
01:11:48,513 --> 01:11:50,926
Let's have a real doozy, Suzie.
1088
01:11:52,391 --> 01:11:55,099
♪ I love my Mama guitar ♪
1089
01:11:55,186 --> 01:11:59,806
♪ My mama guitar
Beats a woman every time ♪
1090
01:12:00,566 --> 01:12:04,731
♪ My mama guitar
Beats a woman every time... ♪
1091
01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:09,031
And now Miss Linda Bruce from Ganderstown.
1092
01:12:09,116 --> 01:12:11,699
Go, girl, go!
1093
01:12:11,786 --> 01:12:16,827
♪ A Mama guitar
Beats a woman every time ♪
1094
01:12:22,547 --> 01:12:24,129
♪ Hey, Mama... ♪
1095
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:30,337
From the town of Snakebite,
Miss Peggy May Polhodie.
1096
01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:33,718
Let's see you twirl it
and swirl it, Peggy May.
1097
01:12:33,808 --> 01:12:37,222
♪ A mama guitar
Beats a woman every time ♪
1098
01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:38,518
Hey, hey, hey!
1099
01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:43,065
♪ My mama guitar
Beats a woman every time ♪
1100
01:12:43,818 --> 01:12:46,982
♪ You can walk away and leave her
And she won't sneak out and cheat ♪
1101
01:12:47,071 --> 01:12:49,438
♪ You take her on your travels
And she never has to eat ♪
1102
01:12:49,532 --> 01:12:53,025
♪ A mama guitar
Beats a woman every time... ♪
1103
01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:56,283
I give you Miss Mary Jane Johnson
1104
01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:59,410
from the neighboring village
of Pocahontas.
1105
01:13:27,612 --> 01:13:32,653
And now Miss Betty Lou Fleckum.
1106
01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:36,326
♪ A mama guitar
Beats a woman every time ♪
1107
01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:40,017
♪ You can tease her, you can squeeze her
Make her sing out sweet and blue ♪
1108
01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:44,001
♪ And if her strings get rusty
You can trade her in for new ♪
1109
01:13:44,712 --> 01:13:49,673
♪ A mama guitar
Beats a woman every time ♪
1110
01:13:50,426 --> 01:13:55,797
♪ Hey, Mama, Mama guitar
Hey, Mama guitar ♪
1111
01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:58,382
♪ Sweet Mama, Mama Guitar ♪
1112
01:13:58,476 --> 01:14:03,938
♪ I love my Mama, I love my Mama
I love my Mama, I love Mama ♪
1113
01:14:04,023 --> 01:14:06,766
♪ I love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love ♪
1114
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:08,600
♪ Love my Mama guitar ♪
1115
01:14:09,528 --> 01:14:14,523
♪ Love my Mama guitar ♪
1116
01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:20,287
And I say that the winner,
1117
01:14:20,373 --> 01:14:23,866
by unanimous decision, and that's me,
1118
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:26,623
is little Miss Betty Lou Fleckum,
1119
01:14:26,712 --> 01:14:31,924
Miss Arkansas Drum Majorette of 1957.
1120
01:14:55,449 --> 01:14:59,159
Oh. I'm so excited.
1121
01:14:59,245 --> 01:15:00,281
I'm so...
1122
01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:08,459
You're my idol, honest.
1123
01:15:09,964 --> 01:15:12,627
I pasted your picture
on the ceiling over my bed
1124
01:15:12,717 --> 01:15:16,051
so you're the first thing I see
when I wake up in the morning.
1125
01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,429
Well, bless your heart.
1126
01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:23,134
- Mike.
- Hey, that was a great show today.
1127
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:25,435
Better make mine milk.
I have a family, you know.
1128
01:15:25,521 --> 01:15:26,887
- Hello, Faye, Sam.
- Mace.
1129
01:15:26,981 --> 01:15:30,315
- Good show, Dad.
- Yes, I think it had size.
1130
01:15:30,401 --> 01:15:32,188
Hi, Burl, Virginia.
1131
01:15:32,278 --> 01:15:35,897
- Mace, that baton bit was the living end.
- Thanks, Betty.
1132
01:15:35,990 --> 01:15:39,199
As Lonesome said,
it's an American art form.
1133
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:40,742
Glass of water, Joe.
1134
01:15:42,455 --> 01:15:43,662
Oh.
1135
01:15:43,748 --> 01:15:46,035
- Peach of a show, Miss Jeffries.
- Thank you.
1136
01:15:46,125 --> 01:15:47,866
Should boost the rating.
1137
01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:51,544
Poor Macey.
1138
01:15:53,090 --> 01:15:57,551
He lives on a diet of nitroglycerin
and Trendex ratings.
1139
01:15:57,636 --> 01:16:02,097
Call it a Bible, but it's really
a death warrant with decimal points.
1140
01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:04,557
- Hello, Bennett.
- Mr. Cerf?
1141
01:16:04,643 --> 01:16:05,884
Thanks for the drinks.
1142
01:16:07,521 --> 01:16:09,057
Miss J, just came for you.
1143
01:16:09,148 --> 01:16:11,988
One thing about being in this place,
it's just like being in the office.
1144
01:16:12,026 --> 01:16:15,110
Not quite. Joe, two more, please.
1145
01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:18,485
And this time, would you just
let the vermouth blow a kiss at the gin?
1146
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:22,906
Oh, fine, our barefoot boy
won't be flying in tonight.
1147
01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:24,573
"Hopping over to Juárez.
1148
01:16:24,663 --> 01:16:26,600
See if you can get Arthur Godfrey
to fill in for me.
1149
01:16:26,624 --> 01:16:30,243
Tell him I'll do the same for him someday.
Counting on you to hold the fort."
1150
01:16:30,961 --> 01:16:34,796
Boy, this shoulder's getting
a permanent callus from holding that fort.
1151
01:16:34,882 --> 01:16:36,214
What's in Juárez?
1152
01:16:37,968 --> 01:16:39,004
Bars.
1153
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:42,720
Lawyers, quick marriages,
1154
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:45,511
quick divorces.
1155
01:16:47,186 --> 01:16:48,393
Then this is it?
1156
01:16:53,067 --> 01:16:54,067
You're blushing.
1157
01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,602
It's these 60-to-1 martinis.
1158
01:16:59,156 --> 01:17:02,445
I suppose I should be a gentleman,
wish you all the happiness.
1159
01:17:05,204 --> 01:17:08,743
I think I'll just be a cad
and hope he chokes on a Vitajex pill.
1160
01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:32,604
You look nice.
1161
01:17:50,250 --> 01:17:51,410
Larry!
1162
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:12,844
- Looks like he's found an all-original.
- Let's make a spot for the bride.
1163
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:14,304
Bride? Who?
1164
01:18:14,398 --> 01:18:16,811
Listen carefully,
this is front-page stuff.
1165
01:18:27,036 --> 01:18:29,198
Officer, I'm his fiancée.
1166
01:18:29,288 --> 01:18:31,154
- Did he say "married"?
- Sure did.
1167
01:18:31,248 --> 01:18:34,412
Hey, fellas. This little lady
has just done me the honor
1168
01:18:34,501 --> 01:18:36,493
of becoming Mrs. Lonesome Rhodes.
1169
01:18:36,587 --> 01:18:38,954
We do'd it in Juárez!
1170
01:18:56,315 --> 01:18:58,432
Easy, fellas, I just got her.
1171
01:19:00,819 --> 01:19:01,935
They eloped.
1172
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:16,333
- Stand back, guys.
- Go ahead, smile at them.
1173
01:19:16,418 --> 01:19:18,660
Miss. Miss, I'm Earl Wilson.
1174
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,370
- What are your measurements?
- Oh!
1175
01:19:22,508 --> 01:19:25,797
What are you trying to do down there?
You out of your mind?
1176
01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:28,799
- Get it up there a little.
- That's it.
1177
01:19:28,889 --> 01:19:31,302
Their names are Tico and Pico.
1178
01:19:31,392 --> 01:19:33,133
Tico and Pico, kids.
1179
01:20:26,864 --> 01:20:29,402
Well, sir, here she is.
1180
01:20:29,908 --> 01:20:33,618
That's my little Arkansas sweet potato,
Betty Lou.
1181
01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,618
I ain't been so happy since the day
1182
01:20:37,708 --> 01:20:40,371
I fell into Grandpa Baskim's
hogshead of corn liquor
1183
01:20:40,461 --> 01:20:43,204
and just guzzled my way down to dry land.
1184
01:20:43,297 --> 01:20:44,378
Ha ha!
1185
01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:48,007
I don't reckon I'll be a free man
tomorrow morning.
1186
01:20:48,635 --> 01:20:53,005
But if this ain't freedom, man,
it's the next best thing.
1187
01:21:17,122 --> 01:21:23,335
Hey. And now you wanna see
what first caught my eye?
1188
01:21:23,921 --> 01:21:25,332
Ooh!
1189
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:28,415
And what second caught my eye.
1190
01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:31,254
Ooh!
1191
01:21:31,345 --> 01:21:36,841
And what keeps on and on catching my eye.
1192
01:21:40,104 --> 01:21:41,311
Ladies and gentlemen,
1193
01:21:42,481 --> 01:21:46,065
I give you Mrs. Lonesome Rhodes
1194
01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:51,738
doing her unbelievable double-fire
baton-twirling dance
1195
01:21:51,824 --> 01:21:54,908
to the scherzo from the Seventh Symphony
1196
01:21:54,993 --> 01:21:57,952
by Ludwig van Beethoven.
1197
01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:10,837
- Mr. Rhodes.
- Tico and Pico.
1198
01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:13,464
- I could eat you up.
- Could I talk to you for a few minutes?
1199
01:22:13,554 --> 01:22:16,592
- I don't want agency jokers nagging—
- This is desperately important.
1200
01:22:16,682 --> 01:22:19,516
I've been with Browning, Schlagel
and McNally for 17 years,
1201
01:22:19,601 --> 01:22:22,014
in full charge of the international
drug account.
1202
01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:24,938
And the general just told me
that he's taking his business away.
1203
01:22:25,023 --> 01:22:28,016
Your young Mr. DePalma
has wormed his way...
1204
01:22:28,110 --> 01:22:30,944
Look, Macey, Joey DePalma's
doing one heck of a job for me.
1205
01:22:31,029 --> 01:22:33,863
But you know this business.
It's cutthroat. If a...
1206
01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:35,406
Look, Macey...
1207
01:22:35,492 --> 01:22:39,577
Well, if a rating nosedives,
or if you lose a client,
1208
01:22:39,663 --> 01:22:43,407
even if it isn't your fault,
the account executive is the goat.
1209
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:48,120
Mr. Rhodes, if I lose this account,
I'll be fired.
1210
01:22:49,131 --> 01:22:50,417
I've got a son at Princeton.
1211
01:22:51,091 --> 01:22:54,926
Mr. Rhodes, you've seen my...
you've seen my office.
1212
01:22:56,054 --> 01:22:58,842
A corner office with four windows.
1213
01:22:59,808 --> 01:23:03,142
You know how long it takes at Browning,
Schlagel and McNally to get a corner...
1214
01:23:13,071 --> 01:23:15,814
I was afraid to marry you,
and that's the truth.
1215
01:23:15,908 --> 01:23:17,865
The dirt-root, cotton-picking truth.
1216
01:23:19,119 --> 01:23:21,532
Last time,
you said you were afraid not to.
1217
01:23:23,165 --> 01:23:24,326
Both were true.
1218
01:23:25,584 --> 01:23:27,200
You sort of overawe me.
1219
01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:29,664
You know more than I do.
1220
01:23:30,297 --> 01:23:33,085
I can feel you being
so goldarned critical all the time.
1221
01:23:33,800 --> 01:23:35,541
You and that smart-alecky Mel.
1222
01:23:36,303 --> 01:23:38,545
And you don't really approve of me.
That's so, ain't it?
1223
01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:43,887
You're getting to be all the things
you used to harpoon.
1224
01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:45,343
See what I mean?
1225
01:23:47,022 --> 01:23:49,935
The bigger I get,
the smaller you make me feel.
1226
01:23:51,944 --> 01:23:55,233
- You take Betty Lou...
- Larry, don't try to explain.
1227
01:23:57,241 --> 01:23:58,732
Betty Lou is your public,
1228
01:23:59,326 --> 01:24:02,285
all wrapped up with yellow ribbons
into one cute little package.
1229
01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:06,664
She's the logical culmination
of the great 20th-century love affair
1230
01:24:06,750 --> 01:24:09,163
between Lonesome Rhodes
and his mass audience.
1231
01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:16,008
Well...
1232
01:24:16,718 --> 01:24:18,129
I wish you wasn't so bitter.
1233
01:24:18,929 --> 01:24:20,045
I'm not bitter.
1234
01:24:21,515 --> 01:24:25,976
If I sound stridently female about
Miss Drum Majorette, I don't mean to be.
1235
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:28,804
I knew you married her
just as a way of not marrying me.
1236
01:24:41,827 --> 01:24:42,943
Look, Marcia,
1237
01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:45,494
I'm not forgetting what I owe you.
1238
01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:49,498
I'm gonna give you a healthy slice
of our whole operation.
1239
01:24:50,002 --> 01:24:51,789
Say, ten percent of my end.
1240
01:24:51,878 --> 01:24:55,246
And you won't have to lift your finger
with what I'm giving you.
1241
01:24:55,757 --> 01:25:00,172
Giving me? Giving me?
You're not giving me anything.
1242
01:25:00,262 --> 01:25:04,051
And you're not throwing me off the train
like poor Abe Steiner, either.
1243
01:25:04,141 --> 01:25:06,133
A Face in the Crowd was my idea.
1244
01:25:06,226 --> 01:25:09,594
The whole idea of Lonesome Rhodes
belongs to me.
1245
01:25:09,688 --> 01:25:13,978
I always should've been an equal partner.
Well, now I'm gonna be an equal partner.
1246
01:25:14,067 --> 01:25:15,854
I'm gonna get something I deserve.
1247
01:25:16,445 --> 01:25:20,029
- Doesn't sound like you, Marcia.
- And I want it on paper!
1248
01:25:20,657 --> 01:25:22,694
Okay. All right.
1249
01:25:23,910 --> 01:25:26,027
I'll tell Joey to draw up the papers.
1250
01:25:28,415 --> 01:25:30,122
Look at yourself in the mirror, Marcia.
1251
01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:32,454
You'll see a millionaire.
1252
01:25:39,384 --> 01:25:41,091
There's always Vanderbilt '44.
1253
01:25:42,012 --> 01:25:44,800
He's gone back to Memphis.
I think he wants to forget us both.
1254
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:51,516
I thought he'd wait for you
till there was ice on the equator.
1255
01:25:55,400 --> 01:25:57,016
That's how long he did wait.
1256
01:26:26,848 --> 01:26:30,512
When newspaper people ask me,
"Walter, where do you get all that news?"
1257
01:26:30,602 --> 01:26:34,471
I invariably tell them, "I usually get it
from an awful lot of people
1258
01:26:34,564 --> 01:26:36,647
who promised somebody else
they'd keep it secret."
1259
01:26:36,733 --> 01:26:38,269
As for example:
1260
01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:43,355
Just what is Lonesome Rhodes going
to talk to General Haynesworth about?
1261
01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:45,113
"Oh, General."
1262
01:26:45,617 --> 01:26:47,358
"Oh, Lonesome Rhodes."
1263
01:26:47,452 --> 01:26:50,945
And now Mike Wallace
interviews Senator Worthington Fuller.
1264
01:26:51,039 --> 01:26:52,642
Senator Fuller, you mean to tell me, sir,
1265
01:26:52,666 --> 01:26:56,535
that you are not infected
with the presidential itch?
1266
01:26:56,628 --> 01:26:57,709
The itch?
1267
01:27:00,424 --> 01:27:04,885
Senator, is it not a fact
that you have a date tomorrow night
1268
01:27:04,970 --> 01:27:09,180
for what is known as "Madison Avenue
coaching" from Lonesome Rhodes
1269
01:27:09,683 --> 01:27:12,972
in General Haynesworth's
private projection room?
1270
01:27:14,146 --> 01:27:17,935
I have said it calls
for the closest scrutiny.
1271
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:20,896
I am unable to persuade myself
1272
01:27:21,570 --> 01:27:27,111
and to believe in the belief that flagrant
squandering of American wealth
1273
01:27:27,659 --> 01:27:31,528
at home and abroad
is a road to a sound peace.
1274
01:27:33,832 --> 01:27:37,371
Thank you, all, and good evening, all.
1275
01:27:38,545 --> 01:27:40,002
Lights!
1276
01:27:55,187 --> 01:27:58,021
I know that's not what
the American people want to hear.
1277
01:27:58,106 --> 01:28:01,065
- But I think I know what's best for them.
- We think so, too.
1278
01:28:01,151 --> 01:28:02,733
That's why everyone in this room
1279
01:28:02,819 --> 01:28:05,983
wants you to be the next President
of the United States.
1280
01:28:06,072 --> 01:28:09,531
But your problem is getting
the voters to listen to you,
1281
01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:12,531
getting them to like you enough
to listen to you.
1282
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:14,533
Senator, I've got to be blunt.
1283
01:28:14,623 --> 01:28:18,663
Your TV appearances have been,
well, catastrophes.
1284
01:28:18,752 --> 01:28:20,038
Wouldn't you say so, Lonesome?
1285
01:28:20,670 --> 01:28:23,003
By the way, Beanie,
I asked you to check the ratings
1286
01:28:23,089 --> 01:28:25,046
when the senator was on Face the People.
1287
01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:26,340
Brutal.
1288
01:28:28,053 --> 01:28:29,965
Oh, excuse me. 4.2.
1289
01:28:32,224 --> 01:28:34,511
- Go right ahead, General.
- We've got to face it.
1290
01:28:34,601 --> 01:28:37,890
Politics have entered a new stage,
a television stage.
1291
01:28:37,979 --> 01:28:42,019
Instead of long-winded public debates,
the people want capsule slogans.
1292
01:28:42,108 --> 01:28:44,942
"Time for a change."
"The mess in Washington."
1293
01:28:45,028 --> 01:28:48,817
More bang for a buck.
Punch lines and glamour.
1294
01:28:48,907 --> 01:28:51,399
Yes, Mr. Pervis, even glamour.
1295
01:28:51,493 --> 01:28:54,327
General, my papers
have supported Worthington Fuller
1296
01:28:54,412 --> 01:28:56,529
from the first day he ran
for public office.
1297
01:28:56,623 --> 01:28:59,787
He's not a grandstander,
a backslapper or a baby-kisser.
1298
01:28:59,876 --> 01:29:02,289
That's exactly what he's got to become.
1299
01:29:02,379 --> 01:29:05,417
A majority in this country
don't see eye-to-eye with hinา.
1300
01:29:05,507 --> 01:29:07,715
We've got to find 35 million buyers
1301
01:29:07,801 --> 01:29:10,259
for the product we call
Worthington Fuller.
1302
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:13,679
- I think you underestimate the respect—
- Respect?
1303
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:16,349
Did you ever hear of anyone
buying any product...
1304
01:29:16,434 --> 01:29:20,599
beer, hair rinse, tissue—
because they respect it?
1305
01:29:21,439 --> 01:29:24,227
You gotta be loved, man.
1306
01:29:25,151 --> 01:29:26,312
Loved.
1307
01:29:27,195 --> 01:29:29,983
Well, I may be a bit old-fashioned,
but it seems to me
1308
01:29:30,073 --> 01:29:34,909
there is still a distinction between
politics and, well, the field you're in.
1309
01:29:34,995 --> 01:29:38,113
- Bull.
- I beg your pardon, sir.
1310
01:29:38,206 --> 01:29:40,994
Sorry if I tread on your corns,
but I said "bull."
1311
01:29:41,084 --> 01:29:42,450
Politics is people.
1312
01:29:42,544 --> 01:29:44,706
- Mr. Rhodes—
- Now, John...
1313
01:29:44,796 --> 01:29:48,039
The general asked me to cut
my rehearsal short to come here.
1314
01:29:48,133 --> 01:29:50,750
- If you don't wanna hear my thinking...
- Do go on, Mr. Rhodes.
1315
01:29:50,844 --> 01:29:53,382
I'm sorry to make a disturbance,
but, General...
1316
01:29:53,471 --> 01:29:57,511
Senator, I'm a professional.
I have to look at the image on that screen
1317
01:29:57,601 --> 01:29:59,843
same as I'd look at a performer
on my show.
1318
01:30:00,478 --> 01:30:05,098
And I'll have to say
he'll never get over to my audience.
1319
01:30:05,191 --> 01:30:08,229
Not to the 65 million people
1320
01:30:08,320 --> 01:30:11,063
who welcome me
into their living rooms each week.
1321
01:30:11,615 --> 01:30:16,201
And if I wouldn't buy him,
do you realize what that means?
1322
01:30:16,995 --> 01:30:18,486
If I wouldn't buy him,
1323
01:30:18,580 --> 01:30:22,244
the people of this country
aren't ready to buy him for that big job
1324
01:30:22,334 --> 01:30:23,791
on Pennsylvania Avenue.
1325
01:30:25,086 --> 01:30:27,248
Look, I got a fella here,
know where I found him?
1326
01:30:27,339 --> 01:30:29,456
I don't think he'll mind my saying it.
1327
01:30:29,549 --> 01:30:31,916
In jail. He's stupid.
1328
01:30:32,010 --> 01:30:35,174
He's got no mentality.
He thinks with his feet.
1329
01:30:36,890 --> 01:30:39,507
But I trust those feet.
1330
01:30:39,601 --> 01:30:43,641
Now, if he don't laugh,
if he don't think the show is any good,
1331
01:30:44,272 --> 01:30:46,309
then I know there's
something wrong with it,
1332
01:30:46,900 --> 01:30:50,439
something people
just ain't a-gonna take to.
1333
01:30:50,528 --> 01:30:51,689
You see what I mean?
1334
01:30:53,615 --> 01:30:54,615
Now, Beanie...
1335
01:30:55,992 --> 01:30:59,030
what did you think of the personality
you just saw on the screen?
1336
01:31:01,748 --> 01:31:06,083
- Well, I—
- Come on, give it to us straight.
1337
01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:09,295
Flatter than last night's beer.
1338
01:31:11,967 --> 01:31:13,754
You see your problem now, Senator?
1339
01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:18,717
How you gonna get this man,
this bush monkey, to vote for you?
1340
01:31:28,984 --> 01:31:30,316
Frankly, I don't know.
1341
01:31:31,277 --> 01:31:32,734
Well, maybe I do.
1342
01:31:33,863 --> 01:31:36,230
Do you know what you need
to lift your rating
1343
01:31:36,324 --> 01:31:39,908
from 4.2 to 51.7?
1344
01:31:41,329 --> 01:31:45,699
You need...
Now, hold on to your hat, my friend.
1345
01:31:47,377 --> 01:31:52,623
You need a whole new personality.
1346
01:31:52,716 --> 01:31:56,300
A new personality?
But, frankly, that's impossible.
1347
01:31:56,386 --> 01:31:57,968
Now, wait just a moment.
1348
01:31:59,347 --> 01:32:01,179
For instance, do you have a pet?
1349
01:32:01,850 --> 01:32:04,593
My wife and I have a Siamese cat.
1350
01:32:05,270 --> 01:32:06,270
Beanie?
1351
01:32:06,272 --> 01:32:08,388
Hmm.
1352
01:32:09,858 --> 01:32:12,271
My public love dogs.
1353
01:32:12,360 --> 01:32:16,149
One pitch with a hound
is worth 10,000 words.
1354
01:32:16,656 --> 01:32:20,741
That mutt didn't do Roosevelt any harm,
did it? Dick Nixon, either.
1355
01:32:21,787 --> 01:32:23,823
- That's good.
- No, I'm sure you're right.
1356
01:32:24,414 --> 01:32:26,656
How about a nickname?
1357
01:32:29,419 --> 01:32:33,629
Only dishonest thing about "Curly" Fuller
is the way he combs his hair.
1358
01:32:34,717 --> 01:32:36,048
Curly.
1359
01:32:36,134 --> 01:32:38,467
- That's rather amusing.
- See?
1360
01:32:38,553 --> 01:32:42,046
Shows you got a sense of humor about
that fine head of skin you got there.
1361
01:32:43,099 --> 01:32:45,842
No hard feelings now,
we're talking television.
1362
01:32:46,561 --> 01:32:50,225
Don't press your lips together so much.
Gives you kind of a sissy look.
1363
01:32:50,315 --> 01:32:52,978
Keep your mouth relaxed, so you can say...
1364
01:32:56,613 --> 01:32:58,070
Once in a while.
1365
01:32:59,365 --> 01:33:02,403
Uh-huh. Sounds sort of crazy
to you, doesn't it?
1366
01:33:02,494 --> 01:33:05,987
No. I realize it's a new technique,
and I've got to face it.
1367
01:33:06,081 --> 01:33:09,074
- That's why I came.
- That's a boy, Curly.
1368
01:33:09,167 --> 01:33:11,500
You just put yourself in my hands.
1369
01:33:11,586 --> 01:33:16,126
I'll have them loving him.
I mean loving him!
1370
01:33:16,216 --> 01:33:19,004
You know,
that's just what he did for Vitajex.
1371
01:33:19,844 --> 01:33:21,301
He ought to be in the cabinet.
1372
01:33:26,101 --> 01:33:27,808
I'll be going to bed now, sir.
1373
01:33:28,269 --> 01:33:31,933
Good night, Sidney. Lonesome,
I don't know anyone in the country
1374
01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:34,606
who could've won the senator
the way you did tonight.
1375
01:33:34,692 --> 01:33:37,025
- It was a brilliant piece of—
- Shut up, I'm thinking.
1376
01:33:37,946 --> 01:33:41,986
Lonesome.
Listen to me, as your adopted father.
1377
01:33:42,075 --> 01:33:46,945
You have only one flaw, the way you've
begun to suddenly shoot out of control.
1378
01:33:47,497 --> 01:33:50,240
Like this evening,
almost walking out on the senator.
1379
01:33:50,875 --> 01:33:54,243
And you're beginning to antagonize
the press. You'll grate.
1380
01:33:54,337 --> 01:33:55,453
Cracker Barrel.
1381
01:33:57,006 --> 01:33:59,965
Lonesome Rhodes' Cracker Barrel.
1382
01:34:00,051 --> 01:34:01,087
What's that?
1383
01:34:01,177 --> 01:34:03,385
My new show.
I want you to set it up right away.
1384
01:34:04,055 --> 01:34:06,968
Get me a whole bunch of colorful
country-looking characters
1385
01:34:07,058 --> 01:34:08,640
all sitting around,
1386
01:34:09,352 --> 01:34:12,720
listening to Lonesome Rhodes
sound off about everything
1387
01:34:12,814 --> 01:34:15,602
from the price of popcorn
to the hydrogen bomb.
1388
01:34:19,487 --> 01:34:20,853
You don't like it?
1389
01:34:22,532 --> 01:34:25,366
Well, just forget it.
1390
01:34:28,913 --> 01:34:31,155
All I've gotta do is pick up the phone
1391
01:34:31,249 --> 01:34:33,366
and I can get Tim Andrews
of National Motors
1392
01:34:33,459 --> 01:34:35,325
to back it for me in a minute.
1393
01:34:35,962 --> 01:34:40,172
I'm not just an entertainer.
I'm an influence, a wielder of opinion.
1394
01:34:40,842 --> 01:34:42,208
A force.
1395
01:34:43,052 --> 01:34:44,543
A force.
1396
01:34:46,514 --> 01:34:49,427
Now Shelton Cigarettes,
Best Friend Dog Food and Vitajex
1397
01:34:49,517 --> 01:34:52,351
bring you the voice of grassroot wisdom:
1398
01:34:52,437 --> 01:34:55,180
Lonesome Rhodes on The Cracker Barrel.
1399
01:34:56,274 --> 01:35:00,518
You know, boys, what really bugs me
about our limey cousins
1400
01:35:00,612 --> 01:35:04,276
is the way they keep on trying to act
like a first-class outfit,
1401
01:35:04,365 --> 01:35:07,984
when their store is having to close up
its branches all over the world.
1402
01:35:08,077 --> 01:35:11,195
- That's telling them, Lonesome.
- That's telling 'em.
1403
01:35:12,123 --> 01:35:13,955
He's getting more global every minute.
1404
01:35:15,501 --> 01:35:17,493
That's the Lord's truth.
1405
01:35:21,507 --> 01:35:24,875
Well, look who's stopping by
to chew the fat with us
1406
01:35:24,969 --> 01:35:29,339
around the old cracker barrel.
Senator Worthington Fuller.
1407
01:35:30,391 --> 01:35:34,601
- Hey! Howdy, Curly, how's my old bunkmate?
- How are you?
1408
01:35:34,687 --> 01:35:36,349
Fine. It's a real pleasant surprise.
1409
01:35:36,439 --> 01:35:39,398
- Come on in and meet the boys here.
- Hello, men. How are you?
1410
01:35:39,484 --> 01:35:42,727
Sit down here on the cracker barrel
and get your feet up on the stove.
1411
01:35:42,820 --> 01:35:44,937
That's a boy, now you look at home.
1412
01:35:45,031 --> 01:35:47,739
Well, here we are, all set for real...
1413
01:35:47,825 --> 01:35:50,488
Hello, Mr. Miller.
Long time no see, et cetera, et cetera.
1414
01:35:50,578 --> 01:35:52,035
- The usual?
- Oh, yeah.
1415
01:35:52,121 --> 01:35:54,829
And just let the vermouth
blow a kiss at the gin.
1416
01:35:55,833 --> 01:35:59,417
Yes, in just a little while,
I'm gonna be tossing some questions
1417
01:35:59,504 --> 01:36:01,040
at old Curly Fuller here.
1418
01:36:01,130 --> 01:36:04,043
I should say,
Senator Worthington Fuller...
1419
01:36:05,176 --> 01:36:08,795
- You waiting for someone?
- No. I'm just having a quiet drink.
1420
01:36:12,308 --> 01:36:14,049
I don't remember your doing that before.
1421
01:36:15,061 --> 01:36:17,348
Well, I have to talk to
a thousand people a day.
1422
01:36:17,438 --> 01:36:19,179
This gives me a chance to unwind.
1423
01:36:19,274 --> 01:36:21,210
...got from guzzling
too much rye whiskey.
1424
01:36:21,234 --> 01:36:24,602
We didn't know that swallowing
too much raw politics
1425
01:36:24,696 --> 01:36:26,028
can put a crease in your head
1426
01:36:26,114 --> 01:36:29,232
a whole lot deeper than that
homemade Kickapoo joy juice
1427
01:36:29,325 --> 01:36:32,614
that we used to concoct
back in Arkansas. Heh.
1428
01:36:33,246 --> 01:36:37,206
I wished you'd give me the real
cotton-picking truth about how you feel
1429
01:36:37,292 --> 01:36:41,832
on the subject of more and more
and more Social Security.
1430
01:36:42,922 --> 01:36:45,209
I'm glad you asked me that question,
Lonesome.
1431
01:36:46,384 --> 01:36:49,377
I'd say that people today are obsessed...
1432
01:36:49,470 --> 01:36:50,756
Huh?
1433
01:36:50,847 --> 01:36:54,807
I mean, real gone for security.
1434
01:36:54,892 --> 01:36:59,011
They want protection, coddling
from the cradle to the grave.
1435
01:36:59,105 --> 01:37:01,267
I say that weakens the moral fiber.
1436
01:37:02,025 --> 01:37:04,984
Why, Daniel Boone wasn't looking
for unemployment insurance
1437
01:37:05,069 --> 01:37:06,651
and old-age pension.
1438
01:37:07,322 --> 01:37:09,689
All he needed was his ax and his gun
1439
01:37:09,782 --> 01:37:14,072
and a chance to hew a living
out of the forest with his own hands.
1440
01:37:14,537 --> 01:37:17,405
- Real woodsy, ain't he?
- That's telling them, Senator.
1441
01:37:17,498 --> 01:37:20,832
You heard one that time.
Ha ha! That's a boy.
1442
01:37:20,918 --> 01:37:23,126
That's the spirit
that built this country.
1443
01:37:23,212 --> 01:37:25,875
Joe, would you turn that sound down
a little bit, please?
1444
01:37:26,591 --> 01:37:28,503
Not big government.
1445
01:37:28,593 --> 01:37:31,802
I'll say one thing for him,
he's got the courage of his ignorance.
1446
01:37:34,265 --> 01:37:36,257
Well, how's our old station in Memphis?
1447
01:37:37,435 --> 01:37:41,645
I didn't go near it.
I've been writing a book about...
1448
01:37:43,399 --> 01:37:45,641
I call it Demagogue in Denim.
1449
01:37:49,405 --> 01:37:51,271
Never had such a good time in my life.
1450
01:37:53,993 --> 01:37:55,780
Well, you look wonderful.
1451
01:37:56,537 --> 01:38:00,952
All those months he was calling me
Vanderbilt '44 and Frontal Lobe...
1452
01:38:02,085 --> 01:38:05,078
when I should've been
punching him in the nose.
1453
01:38:05,755 --> 01:38:08,498
Well, now I got the book
to punch him in the nose.
1454
01:38:09,509 --> 01:38:10,841
Is it gonna be published?
1455
01:38:15,181 --> 01:38:18,970
Came up to sign the contracts.
Publishers are real high on it.
1456
01:38:19,060 --> 01:38:21,677
They think the time is right
to pull the mask off him.
1457
01:38:21,771 --> 01:38:24,058
Let the public see what a fraud
he really is.
1458
01:38:24,148 --> 01:38:25,810
Mel, I wouldn't say that.
1459
01:38:28,152 --> 01:38:29,484
What would you say?
1460
01:38:30,363 --> 01:38:33,231
Well, it's just that it's harder for him
to be as simple as he was
1461
01:38:33,324 --> 01:38:35,816
with all those generals and senators
1462
01:38:35,910 --> 01:38:38,118
and political big shots
hanging around him all the time.
1463
01:38:38,996 --> 01:38:40,203
You're still with him.
1464
01:38:43,626 --> 01:38:46,664
Well, at least I tone down
some of the crazier notions
1465
01:38:46,754 --> 01:38:48,211
he wants to spout on the air.
1466
01:38:48,297 --> 01:38:50,914
And I seem to be the only person
he can talk to anymore.
1467
01:38:51,759 --> 01:38:54,172
I keep a lot of people
from getting fired, and...
1468
01:38:56,806 --> 01:38:59,048
well, there's an awful lot of money
at stake.
1469
01:38:59,892 --> 01:39:02,600
Our agency, the one we started
with International Drug Account,
1470
01:39:02,687 --> 01:39:05,100
is doing a gross business
of over 100 million a year.
1471
01:39:05,189 --> 01:39:07,306
- And how are the Mama Guitars selling?
- Mm.
1472
01:39:13,489 --> 01:39:15,105
Mel, I found him.
1473
01:39:17,952 --> 01:39:21,912
He's mine for better or worse, and I keep
doing my small bit to make him better.
1474
01:39:23,541 --> 01:39:25,624
Marcia, you know what you are?
You're the locker room
1475
01:39:25,710 --> 01:39:29,124
where he eases up after the fight,
win or lose.
1476
01:39:29,213 --> 01:39:32,957
You're the shock absorber for collisions
with ex-wives and models
1477
01:39:33,050 --> 01:39:35,542
and new wives and assorted tramps.
1478
01:39:36,262 --> 01:39:37,878
You're the little wheel of efficiency
1479
01:39:37,972 --> 01:39:40,760
without which the great
streamlined express called Lonesome Rhodes
1480
01:39:40,850 --> 01:39:43,684
plunges off the track
and leaps to destruction.
1481
01:39:43,769 --> 01:39:46,182
I can hardly wait to read that book.
1482
01:39:47,690 --> 01:39:51,650
Don't you worry, I've spared you
more than you've spared yourself.
1483
01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:55,358
I know.
1484
01:39:57,241 --> 01:39:58,277
I know.
1485
01:40:04,207 --> 01:40:07,791
I'll call you again sometime,
when I think you're ready.
1486
01:40:16,844 --> 01:40:20,508
Hey, Betty Lou,
take a look at this Gallup Poll.
1487
01:40:21,474 --> 01:40:24,763
I got Curly up from 3 percent
of the voters to 11.
1488
01:40:24,852 --> 01:40:29,813
Heh! Eleven! That's a lucky number.
He's gonna be in.
1489
01:40:30,942 --> 01:40:32,308
Hey, sweet patootie,
1490
01:40:33,069 --> 01:40:35,777
look who's home, your big papa man.
1491
01:40:35,863 --> 01:40:36,899
Ha ha!
1492
01:40:53,673 --> 01:40:55,209
You're not going to hit me.
1493
01:40:56,676 --> 01:41:00,044
Don't play the noble defender
of the sanctity of marriage with me.
1494
01:41:00,137 --> 01:41:01,698
I know where you've been
some of those nights
1495
01:41:01,722 --> 01:41:03,258
when Betty was waiting up for you.
1496
01:41:03,933 --> 01:41:05,845
You hit me,
and it'll be all over the papers.
1497
01:41:05,935 --> 01:41:07,704
As much as the people love you tonight,
they can hate you...
1498
01:41:07,728 --> 01:41:09,640
You're fired.
You're through with Lonesome...
1499
01:41:09,730 --> 01:41:12,518
I've got news that'll move you
and shake you.
1500
01:41:12,608 --> 01:41:15,316
I'm president
of Lonesome Rhodes Enterprises.
1501
01:41:15,403 --> 01:41:18,942
I own 51 percent of the voting stock.
1502
01:41:19,574 --> 01:41:23,033
You're in bed with me, Larry. In bed.
1503
01:41:44,015 --> 01:41:45,051
Get me Beanie.
1504
01:41:46,183 --> 01:41:48,425
Think I'll just freshen up my soda.
1505
01:41:48,519 --> 01:41:49,519
Beanie.
1506
01:41:50,104 --> 01:41:52,972
Get Mrs. Rhodes a "broomette"
on the next train to Little Rock.
1507
01:41:53,858 --> 01:41:56,566
You don't own 51 percent of the stock.
You're fired.
1508
01:41:56,652 --> 01:41:57,652
Fired?
1509
01:41:58,029 --> 01:42:02,740
Oh, Lonesome. Lonesome, nothing...
nothing happened, really.
1510
01:42:08,956 --> 01:42:11,996
This program 's being
brought to you by Shelton cigarettes.
1511
01:42:12,043 --> 01:42:14,660
And ooh, Vitajex...
1512
01:42:14,754 --> 01:42:17,792
I'm gonna treat you like any performer
on my show that flops.
1513
01:42:18,799 --> 01:42:20,540
I got a contract with you.
1514
01:42:21,093 --> 01:42:24,427
You'll get your money every week
as long as you stay in Arkansas.
1515
01:42:26,432 --> 01:42:28,173
But I don't wanna go home.
1516
01:42:28,893 --> 01:42:31,727
Besides, Ed Sullivan wants me to do
my double-fire baton dance
1517
01:42:31,812 --> 01:42:33,269
on his show Sunday night.
1518
01:42:33,356 --> 01:42:36,315
You can do your double-fire
baton-twirling dance
1519
01:42:36,400 --> 01:42:39,359
in the ladies' room
of the Little Rock depot.
1520
01:42:40,821 --> 01:42:42,028
No!
1521
01:42:52,083 --> 01:42:54,083
Marcia, can you hear me?
1522
01:42:54,126 --> 01:42:55,867
Get up! Wake up!
1523
01:42:56,420 --> 01:42:58,787
It's me, big me! The king!
1524
01:42:59,465 --> 01:43:01,297
Come on, Marcia, open up.
1525
01:43:01,384 --> 01:43:04,047
I said, hurry up on this door, Marcia.
1526
01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:05,672
Lonesome's back.
1527
01:43:10,810 --> 01:43:14,269
Just got rid of Betty Lou.
Sweet-talking little floozy.
1528
01:43:14,355 --> 01:43:16,517
She'd have ruined me,
that's what she'd have done.
1529
01:43:17,108 --> 01:43:19,600
- Fix me a drink.
- What are you doing?
1530
01:43:19,694 --> 01:43:22,186
We'll have to be more careful
than we used to be.
1531
01:43:22,279 --> 01:43:24,987
I'll have to stay married
till I get my new appointment.
1532
01:43:25,658 --> 01:43:28,071
- Your what?
- This is still top-secret.
1533
01:43:28,536 --> 01:43:30,368
The general's been talking to Fuller.
1534
01:43:31,080 --> 01:43:34,289
He's selling him on the idea
of creating a new cabinet post for me.
1535
01:43:35,334 --> 01:43:40,045
"In time of imminent crisis and danger."
That's the way the general puts it.
1536
01:43:40,131 --> 01:43:42,544
Who could rally the people
better than I could?
1537
01:43:42,633 --> 01:43:45,250
Hold them in line
right behind the government.
1538
01:43:46,095 --> 01:43:48,929
If we put Fuller across
the way I know we're gonna,
1539
01:43:49,014 --> 01:43:50,596
he's gonna owe me that.
1540
01:43:51,392 --> 01:43:54,351
Secretary for National Morale.
1541
01:43:55,062 --> 01:43:59,227
How's that sound to you, Marcia?
Secretary for National Morale.
1542
01:44:01,569 --> 01:44:03,902
General's asking Fuller
to shake hands on it with me
1543
01:44:03,988 --> 01:44:05,882
after the big banquet I'm throwing
tomorrow night,
1544
01:44:05,906 --> 01:44:07,147
launching Fighters for Fuller.
1545
01:44:08,325 --> 01:44:10,908
- Fighters for Fuller.
- Yeah, Fighters for Fuller.
1546
01:44:10,995 --> 01:44:13,908
How do you like that name, huh?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
1547
01:44:13,998 --> 01:44:16,536
I made it up. Everybody's nuts about it.
1548
01:44:16,625 --> 01:44:18,662
I got 20 of the biggest men
in this country
1549
01:44:18,753 --> 01:44:21,189
coming to my banquet tomorrow night
to get Fighters for Fuller rolling.
1550
01:44:21,213 --> 01:44:23,705
I got a retired admiral
from the Joint Chiefs, two governors,
1551
01:44:23,799 --> 01:44:27,383
some of them big investment-house boys,
and a cabinet minister.
1552
01:44:27,470 --> 01:44:30,588
- Which one?
- I don't know.
1553
01:44:30,681 --> 01:44:32,718
I told the general to pick one out for me.
1554
01:44:32,808 --> 01:44:34,720
And they're coming to your party?
1555
01:44:34,810 --> 01:44:38,144
Oh, honey. If I ask them, they gotta come.
1556
01:44:38,731 --> 01:44:41,269
Baby, they'd be afraid not to come.
1557
01:44:41,358 --> 01:44:44,442
I could murder them like this:
1558
01:44:49,867 --> 01:44:51,403
I'm afraid it's true.
1559
01:44:52,161 --> 01:44:53,368
What's true?
1560
01:44:55,498 --> 01:45:00,539
Right here, tonight,
you might have that much power.
1561
01:45:00,628 --> 01:45:01,948
See the new ratings this morning?
1562
01:45:02,713 --> 01:45:07,378
Fifty-three-point-seven.
1563
01:45:07,468 --> 01:45:09,585
Just picked up another million.
1564
01:45:09,678 --> 01:45:13,171
This whole country's
just like my flock of sheep.
1565
01:45:13,891 --> 01:45:15,883
- Sheep.
- Rednecks,
1566
01:45:15,976 --> 01:45:20,471
crackers, hillbillies, hausfraus,
shut-ins, pea-pickers.
1567
01:45:20,564 --> 01:45:23,978
Everybody that's got to jump
when somebody else blows the whistle.
1568
01:45:25,361 --> 01:45:29,901
They don't know it yet, but they're
all gonna be Fighters for Fuller.
1569
01:45:29,990 --> 01:45:33,483
They're mine. I own them.
They think like I do.
1570
01:45:35,246 --> 01:45:38,785
Only they're even more stupid than I am,
so I gotta think for them.
1571
01:45:39,375 --> 01:45:41,412
Marcia, you just wait and see.
1572
01:45:41,502 --> 01:45:43,789
I'm gonna be the power
behind the president,
1573
01:45:43,879 --> 01:45:45,871
and you'll be the power behind me.
1574
01:45:55,099 --> 01:45:56,761
You made me, Marcia.
1575
01:45:57,601 --> 01:45:58,842
You made me.
1576
01:46:00,062 --> 01:46:01,348
I always say that.
1577
01:46:02,940 --> 01:46:04,522
I owe it all to you.
1578
01:46:05,860 --> 01:46:07,852
I owe it all to you.
1579
01:46:09,321 --> 01:46:10,983
All to you.
1580
01:46:12,449 --> 01:46:15,408
I know it. I know it.
1581
01:46:16,620 --> 01:46:17,827
I know it.
1582
01:46:27,172 --> 01:46:28,583
Turn the light out.
1583
01:46:41,687 --> 01:46:42,803
I'm tired.
1584
01:46:44,732 --> 01:46:46,064
Big day tomorrow.
1585
01:46:47,985 --> 01:46:49,476
Real big day.
1586
01:46:55,659 --> 01:46:57,070
Real big day.
1587
01:47:08,672 --> 01:47:11,380
Come on, come on,
I got to get some sleep.
1588
01:47:17,473 --> 01:47:18,634
Marcia!
1589
01:47:19,600 --> 01:47:21,136
Marcia, where you going?
1590
01:47:44,875 --> 01:47:47,618
Well, all I can say is,
tonight's show is gonna be a mess.
1591
01:47:47,711 --> 01:47:51,079
Now you tell me the show's in a mess.
Now you tell me.
1592
01:47:51,173 --> 01:47:54,257
Yes, but you see,
Marcia never showed up all day.
1593
01:47:54,343 --> 01:47:58,838
- She's the only one who can coordinate.
- Coordinate, hell.
1594
01:47:58,931 --> 01:48:01,014
You mean to tell me the success of my show
1595
01:48:01,100 --> 01:48:05,470
depends on one self-important,
neurotic, temperamental female?
1596
01:48:05,562 --> 01:48:10,148
I'm fed up with the whole lot of you
incompetents, nincompoops, bootlickers.
1597
01:48:10,234 --> 01:48:13,022
Would you like some hot coffee,
Mr. Rhodes?
1598
01:48:16,657 --> 01:48:21,573
Is that your subtle way
of trying to tell me I'm swacked?
1599
01:48:22,329 --> 01:48:25,322
Well, I'm not drunk, just disgusted!
1600
01:48:26,792 --> 01:48:28,954
- Okay, I'll handle it.
- Of course you will.
1601
01:48:29,044 --> 01:48:32,833
Ad-lib. Just keep up with me.
1602
01:48:33,674 --> 01:48:35,256
I've saved the show before.
1603
01:48:36,593 --> 01:48:39,802
Well, I just wonder what they do
with their afternoons.
1604
01:48:39,888 --> 01:48:41,629
- Wives and all.
- Ready, two.
1605
01:48:41,724 --> 01:48:45,058
- One more day like this, and I'm...
- Here she comes now.
1606
01:48:45,144 --> 01:48:47,807
Where've you been?
We've been trying to find you all day.
1607
01:48:47,896 --> 01:48:49,762
Take two.
1608
01:48:49,857 --> 01:48:51,751
- You know how important that is.
- I don't care.
1609
01:48:51,775 --> 01:48:54,438
We still haven't got
our commercials routine.
1610
01:48:54,528 --> 01:48:55,528
Take three.
1611
01:48:56,071 --> 01:48:59,030
I know that's kind of gone out of style,
like the corset.
1612
01:48:59,908 --> 01:49:01,695
But every once in a while, I ask myself,
1613
01:49:02,202 --> 01:49:06,742
"Lonesome,
where's that un-modern uncomplicated,
1614
01:49:06,832 --> 01:49:11,452
un-liberated,
but oh-so-happy one-man woman gone?"
1615
01:49:13,547 --> 01:49:17,211
Ain't no use getting ourselves all het up
about something we can't change.
1616
01:49:18,302 --> 01:49:20,715
Curly and I was out duck-shooting
over the weekend.
1617
01:49:20,804 --> 01:49:24,718
Brought my little movie camera along
to show you folks what it was like.
1618
01:49:25,809 --> 01:49:27,471
- Roll the film.
- Roll film.
1619
01:49:28,645 --> 01:49:29,645
Hit it.
1620
01:49:30,439 --> 01:49:33,978
Hey, you lunkheads up there in
the projection room, show us the movie!
1621
01:49:34,068 --> 01:49:36,108
You're off the air, Mr. Rhodes.
They can't hear you.
1622
01:49:40,532 --> 01:49:41,648
It's about time.
1623
01:49:42,409 --> 01:49:44,321
I wanna talk to you.
1624
01:49:44,411 --> 01:49:47,495
I can't tonight because
I gotta rush over to the banquet.
1625
01:49:47,581 --> 01:49:51,951
But first thing in the morning.
In my office, in the morning.
1626
01:49:52,044 --> 01:49:54,536
Twenty seconds, Mr. Rhodes.
Twenty seconds.
1627
01:49:54,630 --> 01:49:57,464
Who can take this? I quit today.
1628
01:49:59,718 --> 01:50:01,613
Even after the senator
had bagged his limit,
1629
01:50:01,637 --> 01:50:03,469
how he hated to leave that blind.
1630
01:50:04,014 --> 01:50:06,427
He says to me, he says, "Lonesome..."
1631
01:50:06,517 --> 01:50:08,008
Keep the door clear.
1632
01:50:08,102 --> 01:50:10,936
I'm surrounded by a lot of
dim-witted sons of...
1633
01:50:11,563 --> 01:50:14,852
Hey, you redneck scoundrels still here?
1634
01:50:14,942 --> 01:50:16,854
Why ain't you out working someplace?
1635
01:50:16,944 --> 01:50:20,904
Ha! Ain't that Curly Fuller
a duck-shooting fool?
1636
01:50:20,989 --> 01:50:22,275
- Real man.
- Sure is.
1637
01:50:22,908 --> 01:50:26,242
You know, when we was standing there
shoulder to shoulder in that cold water,
1638
01:50:26,328 --> 01:50:27,864
belly-button high,
1639
01:50:27,955 --> 01:50:30,413
and the sun is commencing
to smile in on us,
1640
01:50:31,375 --> 01:50:33,867
Curly looked at me, and he says,
"Lonesome,
1641
01:50:33,961 --> 01:50:37,329
the family that prays together
stays together."
1642
01:50:38,507 --> 01:50:39,839
That's what he said.
1643
01:50:39,925 --> 01:50:43,293
I tell you, that man is an inspiration.
1644
01:50:43,387 --> 01:50:45,379
A man among men.
1645
01:50:46,807 --> 01:50:51,177
The Cracker Barrel, starring
that irrepressible Arkansas traveler.
1646
01:50:52,437 --> 01:50:53,396
You're off.
1647
01:50:53,398 --> 01:50:54,979
Whew!
1648
01:50:55,065 --> 01:50:56,476
I'm glad that's over.
1649
01:50:57,234 --> 01:50:59,817
I'm gonna start shooting people
instead of ducks.
1650
01:50:59,903 --> 01:51:03,237
For relaxation and for health.
1651
01:51:03,323 --> 01:51:07,112
The cigarette that cleans your tobacco
without a filter.
1652
01:51:07,202 --> 01:51:10,536
- And by Best Friend Dog Food...
- Take one.
1653
01:51:10,622 --> 01:51:12,488
...your dog's best friend.
1654
01:51:12,583 --> 01:51:16,543
And by Vitajex, that old
"Vitajex, what you doing to me" pill.
1655
01:51:19,631 --> 01:51:23,295
Well, hurry back, you all.
Remember what old Uncle Lonesome said.
1656
01:51:23,719 --> 01:51:27,212
The family that prays together
stays together.
1657
01:51:32,728 --> 01:51:35,391
All right, super, one,
and start the crawl.
1658
01:51:35,856 --> 01:51:38,314
This has been an FBN production.
1659
01:51:39,860 --> 01:51:42,193
Fuller, the great hunter. Heh!
1660
01:51:42,279 --> 01:51:44,566
He's shaking like this.
1661
01:51:45,282 --> 01:51:48,696
Oh, if they ever heard the way
that psycho really talks.
1662
01:51:48,785 --> 01:51:51,118
Choreography, Don Krantz.
1663
01:51:51,205 --> 01:51:53,618
Scenic design, James Fitzsimmons.
1664
01:51:53,707 --> 01:51:56,074
Costumes by Robert Hodes.
1665
01:51:56,168 --> 01:51:59,081
Unit manager, George K. George.
1666
01:51:59,171 --> 01:52:01,413
Can you really sell that stiff
as a man among men?
1667
01:52:01,506 --> 01:52:03,338
To those morons out there?
1668
01:52:04,218 --> 01:52:08,804
Shucks, I can take chicken fertilizer
and sell it to them for caviar.
1669
01:52:09,973 --> 01:52:12,431
I can make them eat dog food,
and they'll think it's steak.
1670
01:52:13,518 --> 01:52:16,636
Sure, I got them like this.
1671
01:52:17,856 --> 01:52:21,520
You know what the public's like?
A cage full of guinea pigs.
1672
01:52:22,236 --> 01:52:25,820
Good night, you stupid idiots.
1673
01:52:27,115 --> 01:52:30,358
Good night, you miserable slobs.
1674
01:52:31,787 --> 01:52:33,995
They're a lot of trained seals.
1675
01:52:34,081 --> 01:52:37,199
I toss them a dead fish,
and they'll flap their flippers.
1676
01:52:39,503 --> 01:52:46,171
♪ Well, just a closer walk with thee ♪
1677
01:52:46,260 --> 01:52:48,843
No!
1678
01:52:49,638 --> 01:52:51,425
Why, he's a monster!
1679
01:52:51,515 --> 01:52:54,758
I'm gonna call the station
and give them a piece of my mind.
1680
01:52:55,812 --> 01:52:58,428
We'll fix you, jerk.
1681
01:52:59,606 --> 01:53:04,317
I knew he'd open his big yap
once too often and blow my three Gs.
1682
01:53:04,403 --> 01:53:07,441
Mr. Macey, I can hardly believe
that's the same Lonesome Rhodes.
1683
01:53:07,531 --> 01:53:11,696
It is, only this time
his personality finally came through.
1684
01:53:12,953 --> 01:53:13,989
Give me a drink.
1685
01:53:16,123 --> 01:53:18,615
Gotta hurry, boys.
Heap-big important date.
1686
01:53:19,334 --> 01:53:22,623
You better come in strong tomorrow,
I'll be loaded for bear.
1687
01:53:22,713 --> 01:53:23,713
Come on, Beanie.
1688
01:53:30,971 --> 01:53:34,840
Held the elevator for you, Mr. R.
The Lonesome Rhodes Express, going down.
1689
01:53:34,933 --> 01:53:37,425
- All the way down, lad.
- Yes, sir.
1690
01:53:43,233 --> 01:53:46,601
Federal Broadcasting Network.
That line is busy.
1691
01:53:46,695 --> 01:53:50,314
You can just tell him I'll never listen
to his filthy program again.
1692
01:53:52,534 --> 01:53:55,993
So we're slobs, are we?
You can tell Lonesome Rhodes for me...
1693
01:53:56,079 --> 01:53:57,160
FBN.
1694
01:54:00,500 --> 01:54:03,117
I said, are we paying your network
100,000 an hour
1695
01:54:03,211 --> 01:54:05,669
to build up our business or destroy it?
1696
01:54:05,756 --> 01:54:08,624
Now, just a minute, General.
Get DePalma on the phone.
1697
01:54:08,717 --> 01:54:12,677
Remember, it was your advertising company
that brought Lonesome Rhodes to FBN.
1698
01:54:15,682 --> 01:54:18,516
I'd like keep this candle
from rubbing off on Vitajex.
1699
01:54:18,602 --> 01:54:20,764
I mean dissociate ourselves.
1700
01:54:20,854 --> 01:54:23,221
Lonesome Rhodes. That line is busy.
1701
01:54:25,942 --> 01:54:27,308
Board's burning up. What'd he say?
1702
01:54:27,402 --> 01:54:29,088
I don't know,
but it must have been a whopper.
1703
01:54:29,112 --> 01:54:31,445
Better come up fast
with a good replacement.
1704
01:54:33,867 --> 01:54:34,948
I got you down in a hurry.
1705
01:54:35,035 --> 01:54:37,698
Give him a buck for not stopping
to pick up the peasants.
1706
01:54:37,788 --> 01:54:39,074
How's your rating, Page?
1707
01:54:40,624 --> 01:54:42,661
No, I'm sorry.
Mr. Rhodes has left for the day.
1708
01:54:42,751 --> 01:54:45,164
No, I'm sorry,
there's no one in the studio.
1709
01:54:45,253 --> 01:54:48,291
That's right, DePalma, you know
your contract, the morals clause.
1710
01:54:48,382 --> 01:54:50,499
Any act abusing public confidence.
1711
01:54:50,592 --> 01:54:52,584
I think I've got just the boy
to fill the gap.
1712
01:54:53,261 --> 01:54:55,674
Yeah, Barry Mills. Mm-hmm.
1713
01:54:56,765 --> 01:54:59,428
He's a young Lonesome Rhodes
and a lot easier to handle.
1714
01:54:59,518 --> 01:55:01,555
Buddy, I'm just a country boy.
1715
01:55:03,313 --> 01:55:04,429
Don't spare the horses.
1716
01:55:04,523 --> 01:55:06,890
I've only got 30 minutes
to get into my dinner clothes.
1717
01:55:16,618 --> 01:55:19,235
"L.R.'s Blooper Tops Unk Don's."
1718
01:55:20,122 --> 01:55:23,706
I never seen what people saw in that guy,
but whatever it was, he's had it.
1719
01:55:28,338 --> 01:55:30,775
Like the sinking of the Titanic.
A night to remember. What happened?
1720
01:55:30,799 --> 01:55:32,711
Marcia, she went, uh...
1721
01:55:32,801 --> 01:55:35,009
- Where is she?
- She's still in the booth.
1722
01:55:50,360 --> 01:55:52,568
I hear you just wrote the ending
to my book.
1723
01:55:59,828 --> 01:56:00,828
Yeah?
1724
01:56:03,415 --> 01:56:05,031
Just a minute, I'll see if she's here.
1725
01:56:07,711 --> 01:56:08,711
It's him.
1726
01:56:09,504 --> 01:56:11,245
I've got her. I've got her.
1727
01:56:11,339 --> 01:56:12,375
Marcia.
1728
01:56:13,258 --> 01:56:18,128
Oh, Marcia, I need you.
Come over right away.
1729
01:56:18,221 --> 01:56:22,886
Nobody's come, everybody canceled out.
Fuller didn't even send me a wire.
1730
01:56:22,976 --> 01:56:24,933
The general sent me a wire.
1731
01:56:25,020 --> 01:56:27,637
The Secretary of the Interior
sent me a wire.
1732
01:56:27,731 --> 01:56:30,895
"Regret to inform you."
"Unavoidably detained."
1733
01:56:30,984 --> 01:56:32,566
"Unable to attend."
1734
01:56:32,652 --> 01:56:35,110
All of a sudden, everybody's too busy.
1735
01:56:35,197 --> 01:56:37,439
All of a sudden, I'm... I'm poison.
1736
01:56:47,334 --> 01:56:48,415
You laughing at me?
1737
01:56:49,586 --> 01:56:52,624
Huh? You laughing at me?
1738
01:56:53,757 --> 01:56:55,419
You think I'm washed up, don't you?
1739
01:56:55,926 --> 01:56:58,839
The same way I lost them,
I'll get them back again.
1740
01:56:58,929 --> 01:57:00,761
I'm gonna make them love me.
1741
01:57:01,890 --> 01:57:03,176
You're gonna love me.
1742
01:57:04,017 --> 01:57:07,010
Say you're gonna love me.
Say you're gonna love me.
1743
01:57:07,771 --> 01:57:10,764
You're gonna love me.
You're gonna love me.
1744
01:57:11,566 --> 01:57:13,728
All right, say you're gonna love me.
1745
01:57:13,818 --> 01:57:16,185
All right, you, say you're gonna love me.
1746
01:57:16,279 --> 01:57:18,862
Say you're gonna love me!
You're gonna love me!
1747
01:57:18,949 --> 01:57:20,736
- What's your name?
- Francis.
1748
01:57:20,825 --> 01:57:23,693
Francis, you're gonna love me!
Francis, you're gonna love me!
1749
01:57:23,787 --> 01:57:25,574
Love me, love me!
1750
01:57:26,665 --> 01:57:31,080
Get out. Get out. Get out,
you dressed-up black monkeys.
1751
01:57:31,169 --> 01:57:33,877
You turn my stomach. Get out!
1752
01:57:34,923 --> 01:57:36,915
He sounds like he's finally
gone through the roof.
1753
01:57:37,842 --> 01:57:40,209
Marcia. Marcia, how soon can you get here?
1754
01:57:40,303 --> 01:57:41,714
I'm surrounded by traitors.
1755
01:57:41,805 --> 01:57:44,343
That engineer, wait till I get him.
1756
01:57:44,432 --> 01:57:47,721
I'll fire him.
I'll burn him over a slow fire.
1757
01:57:48,520 --> 01:57:52,605
Marcia, if you don't come right away,
I'll jump!
1758
01:57:53,024 --> 01:57:57,109
- I'll jump! I'll jump!
- Jump. Jump!
1759
01:57:57,195 --> 01:57:58,982
Get out of my life!
1760
01:57:59,573 --> 01:58:01,781
Get out of everybody's life.
1761
01:58:02,534 --> 01:58:03,570
Jump.
1762
01:58:04,452 --> 01:58:05,452
Jump.
1763
01:58:06,746 --> 01:58:07,907
Jump.
1764
01:58:15,922 --> 01:58:17,003
I don't believe you.
1765
01:58:17,716 --> 01:58:19,457
- In an hour, you'll be up there.
- Oh, Mel.
1766
01:58:19,551 --> 01:58:21,445
Why didn't you tell him on the phone
that it was you?
1767
01:58:21,469 --> 01:58:23,552
- Because it's hard to.
- Let's make it harder.
1768
01:58:24,514 --> 01:58:26,474
I think you should go up
and tell him face to face
1769
01:58:26,558 --> 01:58:28,515
before he blames it on 20 other guys.
1770
01:58:29,060 --> 01:58:31,222
Face to face,
and then maybe I'll believe you.
1771
01:58:31,813 --> 01:58:33,475
It's never as simple as that.
1772
01:58:33,565 --> 01:58:38,276
Finally, you gotta force complicated
things into simple channels like this.
1773
01:58:39,404 --> 01:58:41,382
Either you go up there
and tell him it was you who did it
1774
01:58:41,406 --> 01:58:43,398
and chop it off clean
1775
01:58:43,491 --> 01:58:45,403
so he never comes crying to you again,
1776
01:58:45,994 --> 01:58:49,658
or you hold his hand,
wipe his poor, perspiring brow,
1777
01:58:49,748 --> 01:58:53,788
fan his smoldering, dampened ego
so it can burst up into flames and burn...
1778
01:58:57,797 --> 01:59:00,915
Secretary for National Morale
1779
01:59:01,009 --> 01:59:04,628
is a job that I was born for.
1780
01:59:04,721 --> 01:59:06,161
Somebody ought to send for a doctor.
1781
01:59:06,222 --> 01:59:08,179
He's been screaming like that
for 20 minutes.
1782
01:59:09,142 --> 01:59:11,555
In a time of crisis,
1783
01:59:11,645 --> 01:59:15,855
who else could rally the people
like Lonesome Rhodes?
1784
01:59:15,940 --> 01:59:21,732
Who else could move the people to action
like Lonesome Rhodes?
1785
01:59:21,821 --> 01:59:27,442
Ha! You are looking at America's answer
1786
01:59:27,535 --> 01:59:31,620
to the crying need for national...
1787
01:59:31,706 --> 01:59:32,992
What you doing that for?
1788
01:59:33,083 --> 01:59:35,325
- He likes lots of applause.
- Beanie.
1789
01:59:43,593 --> 01:59:45,880
Maybe I'm just a country boy.
1790
01:59:47,514 --> 01:59:49,551
But if the president tries to stop me,
1791
01:59:50,225 --> 01:59:54,094
I'll flood the White House
with millions of telegrams.
1792
01:59:55,063 --> 01:59:58,431
I made him, and I can break him.
1793
01:59:58,525 --> 02:00:00,767
Yeah! Ha!
1794
02:00:00,860 --> 02:00:02,726
Yeah, you know I can.
1795
02:00:03,947 --> 02:00:07,361
Because the people listen
to Lonesome Rhodes.
1796
02:00:07,450 --> 02:00:11,945
Because the people love Lonesome Rhodes.
1797
02:00:12,038 --> 02:00:15,873
Lonesome Rhodes is the people.
1798
02:00:15,959 --> 02:00:19,703
The people is Lonesome Rhodes.
1799
02:00:19,796 --> 02:00:23,506
Beanie. More. Yeah, yeah.
1800
02:00:23,591 --> 02:00:25,583
Go, go!
1801
02:00:50,827 --> 02:00:56,664
♪ Ten thousand miles away from home ♪
1802
02:00:57,667 --> 02:01:03,459
♪ And I don't even know my name ♪
1803
02:01:18,938 --> 02:01:20,019
Marcia.
1804
02:01:21,149 --> 02:01:23,562
Oh, Marcia.
1805
02:01:25,195 --> 02:01:26,195
Yeah.
1806
02:01:27,655 --> 02:01:28,655
Marcia.
1807
02:01:30,116 --> 02:01:33,280
I knew you'd come. I knew you'd get here.
1808
02:01:34,037 --> 02:01:36,199
Listen, Marcia, I lost them.
1809
02:01:36,289 --> 02:01:38,656
But all I gotta do is talk with them
one more time.
1810
02:01:39,125 --> 02:01:43,460
Yeah, I'll tell them I just said that
to see how many is really listening.
1811
02:01:45,757 --> 02:01:49,751
Yeah. Sure, I'll have them eating out
of my hands again just like old times.
1812
02:01:49,844 --> 02:01:52,757
- Larry, it was me.
- Then I'm back on top again.
1813
02:01:52,847 --> 02:01:57,387
First thing I do when I'm back on top,
I'll get that sound man.
1814
02:01:57,477 --> 02:02:01,016
I'll get that dirty,
stinking little mechanical genius.
1815
02:02:01,105 --> 02:02:02,186
It was me.
1816
02:02:04,943 --> 02:02:06,024
Huh?
1817
02:02:07,570 --> 02:02:08,651
Huh?
1818
02:02:12,075 --> 02:02:13,111
It was.
1819
02:02:15,829 --> 02:02:16,910
It was me.
1820
02:02:19,707 --> 02:02:21,073
I held the key open.
1821
02:02:22,377 --> 02:02:23,584
On purpose.
1822
02:02:26,548 --> 02:02:28,790
I'm telling you this
so you'll never call me again.
1823
02:02:31,469 --> 02:02:32,630
Never again.
1824
02:02:34,097 --> 02:02:35,133
Okay.
1825
02:02:36,057 --> 02:02:37,343
Okay, Marcia.
1826
02:02:40,812 --> 02:02:42,303
My marshmallow.
1827
02:02:45,191 --> 02:02:46,398
Good luck.
1828
02:02:47,694 --> 02:02:48,855
Good luck with Mel.
1829
02:02:49,737 --> 02:02:50,944
Let me alone.
1830
02:02:59,247 --> 02:03:00,783
Larry, I'm sorry. Forgive me.
1831
02:03:01,791 --> 02:03:02,791
Go on.
1832
02:03:12,844 --> 02:03:16,679
Listen, I'm not through yet.
You know what's gonna happen to me?
1833
02:03:16,764 --> 02:03:19,677
Suppose I tell you exactly
what's gonna happen to you.
1834
02:03:21,811 --> 02:03:23,552
You're gonna be back in television.
1835
02:03:24,397 --> 02:03:26,810
Only it won't be quite the same
as it was before.
1836
02:03:27,442 --> 02:03:29,559
There'll be a reasonable
cooling-off period,
1837
02:03:29,652 --> 02:03:33,817
and somebody will say, "Why don't we
try him again in an inexpensive format?
1838
02:03:33,907 --> 02:03:35,990
People's memories aren't too long."
1839
02:03:37,118 --> 02:03:39,360
And you know, in a way, he'll be right.
1840
02:03:39,454 --> 02:03:41,821
Some of the people will forget,
and some of them won't.
1841
02:03:42,665 --> 02:03:44,372
Oh, you'll have a show.
1842
02:03:44,459 --> 02:03:47,623
Maybe not the best hour
or, you know, top ten.
1843
02:03:47,712 --> 02:03:49,453
Maybe not even in the top 35.
1844
02:03:50,006 --> 02:03:51,497
But you'll have a show.
1845
02:03:52,300 --> 02:03:54,838
It just won't be quite the same
as it was before.
1846
02:03:55,595 --> 02:03:57,837
Then a couple of new fellas
will come along.
1847
02:03:57,931 --> 02:04:01,049
And pretty soon, a lot of your fans
will be flocking around them.
1848
02:04:01,726 --> 02:04:07,267
And then one day, somebody will ask,
"Whatever happened to... what's-his-name?
1849
02:04:07,357 --> 02:04:09,394
You know, the one who was so big.
1850
02:04:09,901 --> 02:04:12,314
The number-one fella
a couple of years ago.
1851
02:04:12,403 --> 02:04:15,362
He was famous.
How can we forget a name like that?
1852
02:04:15,448 --> 02:04:18,361
Oh, by the way,
have you seen, uh, Barry Mills?
1853
02:04:18,451 --> 02:04:21,819
I think he's the greatest thing
since Will Rogers."
1854
02:04:31,547 --> 02:04:32,913
Beanie!
1855
02:05:04,163 --> 02:05:06,621
- Marcia!
- Mel.
1856
02:05:07,750 --> 02:05:10,083
Don't leave me!
1857
02:05:13,548 --> 02:05:15,505
I don't figure him for a suicide.
1858
02:05:16,134 --> 02:05:18,296
Marcia!
1859
02:05:18,386 --> 02:05:20,469
Mel, if I'd only left him
in that jail in Pickett.
1860
02:05:20,555 --> 02:05:24,845
Marcia, stop it. You were taken in,
just like we were all taken in.
1861
02:05:26,060 --> 02:05:29,428
But we get wise to them,
and that's our strength.
1862
02:05:29,522 --> 02:05:33,357
- Come back, Marcia!
- We get wise to them.
1863
02:05:34,193 --> 02:05:36,810
Marcia!
1864
02:05:36,904 --> 02:05:39,146
Come back!
1865
02:05:41,701 --> 02:05:44,819
Don't leave me!
1866
02:05:45,747 --> 02:05:48,956
Don't leave me!
1867
02:05:49,834 --> 02:05:52,668
Don't leave me!
1868
02:05:54,005 --> 02:05:56,338
Marcia!
1869
02:05:56,424 --> 02:05:58,211
Don't leave me!
1870
02:05:59,552 --> 02:06:01,919
Come back!
1871
02:06:02,013 --> 02:06:04,175
Come back!
1872
02:06:04,766 --> 02:06:06,758
Come back!