1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,696
(thunder crashes)
2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,374
Oh, Dad, why are you taking us
Christmas tree shopping
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,544
on Halloween?
4
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:11,111
Because in America,
everything's way too early.
5
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,682
See? (chuckles)
6
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,884
("Carol of the Bells" playing)
7
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:22,017
(grunts)
8
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,459
ALL:
Aah! Sideshow Bob!
9
00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,304
Aah!
10
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,199
One of you guys!
11
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,640
Frank Grimes?!
Who?
12
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,669
I'm the guy who hated you.
Hated you!
13
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,644
Died from my hatred
of you.
14
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,913
(laughs)
Good old Grimey.
15
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:47,382
To the point,
we are evil geniuses
16
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,211
who somehow lost
every battle we've had
17
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:50,816
with Homer Simpson.
18
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,318
(crunching)
What?
19
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:54,819
So we decided to form
this furious four.
20
00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:57,092
Bob, seriously, man,
one suggestion?
21
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,221
Shut up.
22
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,185
I mean, the baby is
already asleep.
23
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,364
Aw.
24
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,862
(unearthly screech)
25
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,663
Enough!
Time for revenge most sweet.
26
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:06,826
Uh...
Wait a minute.
27
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,704
I thought you said
"furious four."
28
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,072
I did.
29
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,501
Revenge!
But first we dance.
30
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,866
(Irish dance music playing)
31
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,735
¶ ¶
32
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,454
(music stops)
33
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:28,794
Will nobody stop these people?
34
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,891
(Simpsons Halloween theme
plays)
35
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,963
¶ ¶
36
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,704
(ding)
37
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:40,369
Ah.
38
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,767
In Hell they make you
watch them all in a row.
39
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,874
(dramatic music playing)
40
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,136
¶ ¶
41
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,847
(all crying out)
42
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,517
(heavy thumping)
43
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,555
¶ ¶
44
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,906
Hmm.
45
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,636
¶ ¶
46
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,817
(crackling and blowing)
47
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:40,526
LISA: We didn't have much
in Springfield,
48
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,528
but we always had water.
49
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,430
Then one day, the rain stopped,
50
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,831
then the rivers dried up,
51
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:49,333
and a drought of Chicago Cubs
proportions began.
52
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,836
(all exclaim)
53
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:55,438
(Samuel Barber's
"Adagio for Strings" playing)
54
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,512
¶ ¶
55
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,883
(groans)
56
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,220
Attention,
friends and neighbors.
57
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:11,462
As you know, I possess
all the remaining water.
58
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,528
(slurping)
59
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,472
Why do we keep
reelecting this guy?
60
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,968
To take your mind off your
troubles,
61
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,370
I will sponsor a no-holds-barred
battle to the death
62
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,472
among our cutest children.
63
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:28,574
Makes sense.
64
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,076
What sickos want to
see ugly kids die?
65
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,378
One child from each neighborhood
will be selected to compete
66
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,750
as their champion.
67
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,378
The last child standing in
a pile of his fallen chums
68
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:41,724
will win a day of aquatic fun
at my personal reservoir.
69
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,492
(whimpering)
70
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,420
(slurping)
71
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,355
Good luck to you all.
72
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:51,400
¶ What a feeling... ¶
73
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:58,269
He's wastin' water
like a Tucson swim-up bar
74
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:01,272
while I'm bathing
with a dog's tongue here!
75
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,335
(dog whining)
76
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,713
Okay, sweetie.
77
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,011
I've hidden a bunch of
weapons in your suit.
78
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:09,183
Uh, Mom,
I can barely move.
79
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:13,521
Well, I could use a new look.
80
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,764
Hmm.
81
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,090
Hmm... hmm.
82
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,696
(gasps)
83
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,597
You just died.
84
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,702
Who are you?
85
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,303
They call me Homish.
86
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,365
I'm your coach.
87
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,478
Huh. It's hard to believe
you could coach anyone.
88
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:40,478
If you don't think I can,
try watching just a few
89
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,221
of the hundreds of movies
with characters like me.
90
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,817
Also, I sober up in the
middle with no difficulty
91
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,149
just like real
alcoholics.
92
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,885
Welcome, children.
93
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,431
The Games will begin
in ten seconds!
94
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,957
Do not step off your pedestals
before...
95
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,303
RALPH:
Before what?
96
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,798
Whee!
(explosion)
97
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,869
(cannon fires, "Taps" plays)
98
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,768
What, what?
What did I miss?
99
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,913
Oh.
100
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,067
(grunting and panting)
101
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,611
(gasps)
102
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,483
The only thing I want
to kill is your sadness.
103
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:18,852
My name is Pita,
like the healthy bread.
104
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,422
My name is also Peta,
105
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,591
like the animal
rights organization.
106
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,659
¶ ¶
107
00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,461
(groaning and grunt)
108
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,762
Did someone order
two dead kids?
109
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,825
(cannon fires, "Taps" plays)
110
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:43,040
(mimics bird calls)
111
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,313
You can come out now, Homish.
112
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,452
HOMER:
What about all the birds?
113
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:47,607
That was me.
114
00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:50,224
(gasps)
115
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:52,717
¶ ¶
116
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,491
(cannon fires)
117
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:01,462
("Taps" plays)
118
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,902
Wait a minute, we don't have
to kill each other.
119
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,997
Now you tell me.
120
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,999
People of Springfield!
121
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,741
We have the power!
122
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:13,467
With all our new fighting skill,
we could topple Burns.
123
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:16,174
Or we could do it peacefully
at the ballot box.
124
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:20,146
Ned, that noggin of yours
is just what we need.
125
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,707
¶ ¶
126
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,545
(yelling)
127
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:29,187
To the reservoir!
128
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,519
Freedom!
129
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,694
(grunts)
130
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,892
Right in the back!
131
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,993
Like the coward I am.
132
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,725
(Prokofiev's
"The Battle on the Ice" plays)
133
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,681
ALL:
Yay!
134
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,953
We're saved!
135
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,793
Aw!
136
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,589
Ah, we really should have
left it in the reservoir.
137
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,091
It was all for nothing.
138
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,233
We're doomed.
139
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,757
(thunder rumbles)
Hmm?
140
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:13,867
Rain. Rain. We're saved.
141
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,243
Well, it could be worse.
142
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,038
(wind whooshing)
143
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,779
Oh, God, me and my big mouth.
144
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,048
Ooh, I just donated
the winter clothes.
145
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,918
I'm a god in
this reality.
146
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,317
Sure, why not?
147
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,393
(chainsaw buzzes)
148
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:42,533
11, 12, 13.
149
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,931
(motor starts)
150
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,433
Ready or not,
151
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,604
here I...
(screams)
152
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,003
(funeral music plays)
153
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,814
Why? Why did my best friend
have to die?
154
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:59,238
(crying):
I mean, it's a great college
essay, but it's not worth it.
155
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,476
So sorry you lost
your best friend
156
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:03,922
in such a cool
tragedy, Lisa.
157
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,077
Since you're
interesting now,
158
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,416
you can be our
best friend.
159
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,292
Really?
That would be so...
160
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,120
(thud)
161
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,664
(screaming)
162
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:17,599
We now bury Sherri and Terri,
survived by their brothers,
163
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,358
Jerry and Larry,
164
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,426
and their father and mother,
Barry and Mary.
165
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:25,696
And now some light remarks
by comedian Drew Carey.
166
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,006
There was some sort of mistake.
167
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,267
I thought I was doing
a Microsoft event.
168
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,436
(crying)
169
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:34,605
Man, who'd have thought
a funeral for a couple of kids
170
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,305
would be such a downer?
171
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,676
(sign buzzing)
172
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,445
Everything seems big
to a child, Lisa.
173
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:42,715
But in a few weeks,
174
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,623
losing three friends
in two days
175
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,285
is something
you'll laugh about.
176
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,963
And I'm here for you.
177
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,031
Really?
178
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,129
Think of me
as your best friend.
179
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,402
(screams)
180
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,300
Ms. Mancuso-Gluckman!
181
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:57,803
(motor humming)
182
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,074
Lisa Simpson,
183
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,142
you are the prime
suspect in the murders
184
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:04,141
of two normals
and a twin set.
185
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,414
(grunts)
186
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,984
Well, well, well, well, well.
187
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:13,493
Well, look what
we have here.
188
00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:14,747
Well.
189
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:17,055
This matches what we found
on the lawnmower
190
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,657
and the picture
in the therapist's office.
191
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,260
Sparkle nail polish?
192
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,931
But I only wore that
with Rachel.
193
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,431
Who's Rachel?
194
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,832
And tell me it's not
a computer acronym
195
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:33,104
like Repeating Algorithm
for Calculating Hotel...
196
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,766
Come on, Lou,
help me out here.
197
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,105
No, no, no.
You got yourself
198
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,339
into that acronym.
199
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,784
You can, uh,
get yourself out.
200
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:42,779
Lou stands for lousy,
obstinate, um...
201
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,523
Uh, help me
out here, Lou.
202
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,378
I had no real friends.
203
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,516
So I played with my imaginary
friend, Rachel.
204
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:51,193
We did it all together.
205
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,191
I was maid of honor
at her imaginary wedding.
206
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,434
But then I outgrew her.
207
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,103
(Bart humming)
208
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:08,638
And I never saw Rachel
or wore this nail polish again.
209
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,742
That's a nice story, kid,
but, uh,
210
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,044
we're keeping our eye on you.
211
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:16,045
Only invisible killer
I believe in is God.
212
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,879
(brakes squeaking)
213
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:21,245
(indistinct chatter)
214
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,054
(gasping)
215
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:27,326
Well, I'm not afraid
to be around you.
216
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,757
Hello, best friend.
217
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:30,803
(gasps)
218
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,629
No, no, please.
219
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,695
(gagging)
220
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:40,844
Why did Mom double-wrap?
221
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,941
(groans)
222
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,943
How could you do that?
223
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:48,005
You tell me.
I came from your brain,
224
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,815
where your
darkest thoughts live.
225
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:55,086
(dissonant notes playing)
226
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,459
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
227
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:59,758
(siren wailing)
228
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,160
I didn't do it.
229
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,261
Plastic wrap
doesn't lie.
230
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:06,203
Except on the box, where
it says "easy tear-off."
231
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,133
Hey, Lisa,
232
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,795
let's gossip about boys.
233
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,773
Isn't Milhouse so cute?
234
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,172
Oh, of course, he suffocated.
235
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,944
My mom was so right when she
said I didn't need you anymore.
236
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,614
Oh. Oh, I see.
237
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:22,283
So, nosy old Marge
was the reason
238
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,522
you-you moved on from me.
239
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,459
(gasps)
Oh, no.
240
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,557
She'll kill Mom.
What do I do?
241
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,029
You can keep quiet and let
me get you out of here.
242
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,528
(gasps) Bart!
You came to save me?
243
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:40,001
Actually, I deliver
little bags to guys inside.
244
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,500
Don't know what's in 'em,
but they're sure glad to see me.
245
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:43,802
Come on, let's go.
246
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,374
Yo, could you please
keep it down?
247
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,012
Some of us are trying to shiv.
248
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,138
Tell Ralphie
I won't be home for dinner.
249
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,813
Uh, tell him that dinner
is the meal
250
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,382
at the end of the day.
251
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,380
Uh, tell him the end of the day
is when the sun goes down.
252
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,653
Tell him...
253
00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:59,821
Oh, thank you, thank you.
254
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,150
(Marge humming a tune)
255
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,159
(meows)
256
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,496
(thunk)
Aah! (groans)
257
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,569
(humming a tune)
258
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,436
(both panting)
(harmonicas wheezing)
259
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:24,241
God, those have so much drool.
260
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,544
Come on, we got to save Mom.
261
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,006
Come on, imagine a motorcycle
to get us out of here.
262
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,175
My imagination
isn't that powerful.
263
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,694
You imagined a girl that's
killing everyone in town.
264
00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:36,617
Good point.
265
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,693
Where do I sit?
266
00:12:39,693 --> 00:12:41,363
(groans)
267
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,431
Safety first.
268
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,026
And it runs on pony smiles.
269
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:50,474
Oh, man,
you ruin everything.
270
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,276
LISA:
Rachel, no!
271
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,878
Why can't a real person
like me this much?
272
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,122
I'm going to kill
everyone you love.
273
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,647
And they'll blame you because
nobody else can see me.
274
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,294
I can see you.
275
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,659
Because I am incredibly wasted.
276
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,425
Hey...
277
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,059
(gagging)
278
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,164
Only...
279
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,926
my childhood
imaginary friend...
280
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,995
can save me now.
281
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,914
Sergeant Sausage, you came!
I love you.
282
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,340
Rachel, Rachel,
you must understand
283
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,005
the thankless role
of the imaginary friend.
284
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,915
When the child matures,
you cease to exist.
285
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,018
I don't take orders
from a hot dog.
286
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,590
Uh... uh-oh.
287
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:50,932
No, no-- cut slits in me first!
288
00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:54,368
Aah! Aah!
289
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,439
Aah!
290
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,167
Rachel, you have to go.
291
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,672
I can turn you into the worst
thing you can imagine:
292
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,775
your mother.
293
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:06,137
No! You'll be
sorry, Lisa.
294
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,806
I'm the truest friend
you've ever had.
295
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,615
I'll have friends in college.
296
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:14,187
And you'll be married
to a dentist.
297
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,287
We'll spend every vacation
with my parents.
298
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,790
Ha, ha. You think your
dad will pay for college?
299
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,664
Now who's
imagining thi...
300
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,032
(electric whirring)
301
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,100
(all sigh)
302
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,127
And now it's time
303
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:32,135
to lay my good friend to rest.
304
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,143
At least his life
wasn't in vain.
305
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:37,982
Actually, as an
imaginary friend,
306
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,638
I can never die.
307
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,046
Get in my stomach.
308
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,047
Okay, yes, sir.
309
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,119
¶ ¶
310
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,394
¶ ¶
311
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,032
Violence never
solved anything.
312
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,061
Don't use math on us.
313
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,674
Ah.
314
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,199
We're gonna
kill you, Simpson.
315
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,665
And book the funeral
in a huge church
316
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,674
so it looks empty.
317
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,606
(laughter)
Yeah.
318
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:13,441
Can I help
youse gentleman?
319
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,006
Just get your broom,
old man,
320
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:18,375
and get ready
to sweep up some broken boy.
321
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,245
And make it snappy.
322
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,091
I rather wish you'd-a
hadn't-a done that.
323
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,585
You idiot, now you're
trapped here with us.
324
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:29,955
(laughter)
325
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,703
Idiot.
326
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,358
Ow!
327
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,026
Sorry. I should have
used a coaster.
328
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,036
(grunts)
329
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,369
(gagging)
330
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,443
(all groaning)
331
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:46,376
You know
we're only 13, right?
332
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,709
Come with me.
333
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,784
¶ ¶
334
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,504
(gasps) Whoa.
335
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,342
I didn't know the pool
table could do that.
336
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:15,039
Halloween show money.
337
00:16:19,746 --> 00:16:21,746
Yeah, you see, kid, it turns out
the guys you thought
338
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:24,078
were wastin' time
in this bar were actually
339
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,854
covert agents helpin'
to save the world.
340
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,823
So, how did things
go in Prague?
341
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:32,762
Oh, quite well.
I canceled a few Czechs.
342
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,959
We've had our eye on you
since your father--
343
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,201
our best man-- died.
344
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:40,327
They said he died jogging,
but I never believed it.
345
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,203
Smart boy.
He was actually killed
346
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,802
by our greatest nemesis.
347
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,274
We need you to take his place.
348
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,943
But I'm just a kid.
349
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,942
We all of us
have special abilities.
350
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,514
All these years
I've been pretending
351
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,012
to be the idiot bartender
352
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,454
while actually
I'm this super genius guy.
353
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,619
Now, do you
want to avenge your father?
354
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,289
I'm in.
Do I get any weapons?
355
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:03,892
You certainly do.
356
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,820
Let me introduce you to Q.
357
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,855
There it is. A pool cue.
That's your weapon.
358
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,031
Now let me introduce you
to your fellow agents.
359
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,501
Old Fashioned.
360
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,129
Rob Roy.
361
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:17,174
And I'm Toilet Gin.
Now listen up here.
362
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,900
We're getting a transmission
from our leader, Highball.
363
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:22,736
He does an amazing
Michael Caine impression.
364
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,412
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
365
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,981
I have the most
interesting development.
366
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,410
We have learned of a plot
367
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,675
to buy up
all of the world's beer.
368
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,823
Can I help you
with something, sir?
369
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:35,819
I believe that cute blonde
is interested in earbuds.
370
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,562
Oh, boy!
371
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,657
Now, here is the name
of our adversary.
372
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,589
Good luck, gentlemen.
373
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:42,834
Hmm.
374
00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,759
Barney, give me what you got.
375
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,232
Remoh Industries
market capitalization,
376
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,044
$20 billion and the new owner
of Duff Stadium.
377
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,567
Tonight they're
throwing a free concert.
378
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,543
Looks like this concert'll
have a few guests
379
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,842
who weren't invited.
380
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,083
Everyone's invited. It's free.
381
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:01,149
¶ ¶
382
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,754
State of the art
fingerprint scanner.
383
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,356
Cutting edge technology.
384
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,417
Uh, hand me my toolbox.
385
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,587
We're in.
386
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:19,457
Welcome, gentlemen.
387
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,696
(cat purring)
388
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,371
Dad? You're alive!
389
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,699
How'd you get that scar?
390
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,644
(meows)
Ow!
391
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,909
That's how.
392
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,037
Of course. Remoh
spelled backwards is Homer.
393
00:18:31,044 --> 00:18:33,744
It is? Uh, I mean,
it's intentional.
394
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,246
Now, I suppose you're wondering
395
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:38,318
why I cornered the
world beer supply.
396
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,046
I've created a lava machine
that will force the world
397
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:43,855
to surrender to me.
398
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,729
Then I want all the beer
to celebrate.
399
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,665
Well, we're gonna stop you.
400
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:58,670
Really?
401
00:18:58,671 --> 00:18:59,971
(meows)
(grunts)
402
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,513
To kill me, you'll have
to get through an army
403
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:05,278
of jazz rock aficionados
age 50 and up.
404
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,408
(engine straining)
405
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,453
Oh, it seems like every year
406
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,649
my rockets get less powerful.
407
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,986
Attention, lovers
of studio perfectionism.
408
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,792
I've drugged all the concessions
409
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,133
so you'll do what I say.
410
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,099
Drugs at a
Steely Dan concert?
411
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:27,268
I never thought
I'd see the day.
412
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,267
Angry mob, kill the intruders.
Huh?
413
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,339
Steely Dan,
play "Deacon Blues."
414
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,637
No, "Royal Scam."
415
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,609
No, "Babylon Sisters."
416
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,477
("Babylon Sisters"
by Steely Dan begins playing)
417
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:40,277
I haven't had any training.
418
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,650
Now you have.
419
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,419
(grunting)
420
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:55,128
(indistinct conversations)
421
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:56,128
(grunts)
Aah!
422
00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:58,199
(grunting)
423
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:06,066
Haw-haw!
You missed my heart.
424
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:07,812
Attaboy.
425
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:11,377
(sighs) We still haven't gotten
to the beginning of the song.
426
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:14,147
But, Dad, this can be
a new beginning for us.
(music stops)
427
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,307
You mean you don't
want to kill me?
428
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,376
I love you, Dad.
429
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,283
And violence
never solved anything.
430
00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,153
Except this.
431
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:23,645
Also, every time you die,
432
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,086
I get another semester
of automatic As.
433
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,892
Everything appears
in order, sir.
434
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,734
But, uh,
where is Master Simpson?
435
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,329
I believe he's...
436
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,401
having a little Sherri.
437
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,469
¶ ¶
438
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:45,084
JUDITH OWEN:
¶ 600 ¶
439
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,406
¶ Yes, that's right ¶
440
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:52,454
¶ We've churned out 600 shows ¶
441
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:58,263
¶ It goes and goes ¶
442
00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:02,528
¶ Two times 300 ¶
443
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:07,426
¶ And thousands of promos for ¶
444
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:12,368
¶ Shows that were bad ¶
445
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:16,466
¶ Yes, they were bad ¶
446
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,980
¶ So very bad ¶
447
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:26,275
¶ We love gold ¶
448
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,947
¶ Gold. ¶
449
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,356
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
450
00:22:18,104 --> 00:22:20,174
(shrieks)