1
00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:04,916
I'll get back to you guys
by the end of the day
2
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,418
with all the logistics.
3
00:00:06,502 --> 00:00:08,628
Sergeant Terrance Jeffords,
4
00:00:08,837 --> 00:00:11,088
four years ago on this exact date,
5
00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:13,715
you told me I was too old
to learn how to do the worm.
6
00:00:13,799 --> 00:00:15,924
I vowed on that day to prove you a fool,
7
00:00:16,008 --> 00:00:18,511
and today, I shall.
8
00:00:20,303 --> 00:00:22,103
-[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
-Check it.
9
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,641
[GRUNTS]
10
00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:30,436
I'm on fire!
11
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,313
[IMITATES HORN BLARING]
12
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,731
As I was telling the squad, our old C.O.,
13
00:00:34,815 --> 00:00:36,566
Captain McGintley, just passed away.
14
00:00:36,650 --> 00:00:37,816
Oh, no.
15
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:40,402
We're going to Los Angeles
for the funeral next week.
16
00:00:40,486 --> 00:00:41,945
I'll have the travel details later.
17
00:00:42,029 --> 00:00:43,404
Hey, has anyone seen a worm?
18
00:00:43,488 --> 00:00:46,199
Because this funky chicken's hungry.
19
00:00:46,283 --> 00:00:48,742
Charles, a man has died. Read the room!
20
00:00:48,909 --> 00:00:51,119
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
21
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:12,136
Oh, man. Sad day.
22
00:01:13,177 --> 00:01:15,054
Sad day.
It's crazy how different things were
23
00:01:15,138 --> 00:01:16,723
when McGintley was Captain.
24
00:01:16,848 --> 00:01:18,056
It was like the Wild West.
25
00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:20,600
Oh, yeah, we had some fun. I didn't.
26
00:01:20,684 --> 00:01:23,602
In every one of those photos,
I look uptight and worried.
27
00:01:23,686 --> 00:01:24,853
Meanwhile, everyone else looks like
28
00:01:24,937 --> 00:01:25,938
they're having the time of their life.
29
00:01:26,022 --> 00:01:28,231
That's because they're all stress-free,
30
00:01:28,315 --> 00:01:29,565
not like us Type A's.
31
00:01:29,649 --> 00:01:31,149
Jake, am I too high-strung?
32
00:01:31,233 --> 00:01:32,484
I wouldn't say you're too high-strung.
33
00:01:32,568 --> 00:01:33,819
You just are high-strung.
34
00:01:33,903 --> 00:01:35,653
You know, your strung
is what makes you strung.
35
00:01:35,737 --> 00:01:36,737
You're strung strongly.
36
00:01:36,821 --> 00:01:37,989
No, not anymore.
37
00:01:38,197 --> 00:01:40,949
From now on, I'm gonna be super chill.
38
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:42,408
So, where's the party at?
39
00:01:42,492 --> 00:01:45,369
Trick question.
The party's right here, boy!
40
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:46,453
[MRS. MCGINTLEY CLEARS THROAT]
41
00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:48,496
Oh, hello, Mrs. McGintley.
42
00:01:48,622 --> 00:01:50,457
My condolences for your loss.
43
00:01:51,374 --> 00:01:53,375
So, who do you got your eye on?
44
00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:55,585
What? You haven't dated anyone
45
00:01:55,669 --> 00:01:56,919
since you broke up with Pimento.
46
00:01:57,003 --> 00:01:58,921
And funerals are a meat market.
47
00:01:59,005 --> 00:02:00,798
Sadness is a powerful aphrodisiac.
48
00:02:00,882 --> 00:02:01,881
No, it's not.
49
00:02:01,965 --> 00:02:04,176
Then how come everyone cries during sex?
50
00:02:04,301 --> 00:02:05,593
I'm already seeing somebody, Boyle.
51
00:02:05,677 --> 00:02:06,677
Oh…
52
00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:09,137
And just like that,
things got interesting.
53
00:02:09,221 --> 00:02:10,764
And just like that, I left.
54
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,974
Hello, Raymond. Oh, Chief Aggerton.
55
00:02:13,141 --> 00:02:14,891
I didn't realize you'd
be flying out for this.
56
00:02:14,975 --> 00:02:17,519
I liked McGintley.
He was fun to have a beer with.
57
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:18,854
There's nobody in this department
58
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,145
I wanna have a beer with anymore.
59
00:02:20,229 --> 00:02:22,314
Yes, that's the problem with the NYPD.
60
00:02:22,398 --> 00:02:23,398
So, I hear you're meeting with
61
00:02:23,482 --> 00:02:24,566
the Commissioner on Monday morning.
62
00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:25,650
Well, you didn't hear this from me,
63
00:02:25,734 --> 00:02:27,734
but Commissioner's retiring next year.
64
00:02:27,818 --> 00:02:29,778
They put a short list together
of possible replacements,
65
00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:30,863
and you're on it.
66
00:02:30,947 --> 00:02:32,321
This is your first interview. Really?
67
00:02:32,405 --> 00:02:34,156
What? Oh, my God.
68
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,491
-What's going on?
-PERALTA: What's going on is
69
00:02:35,575 --> 00:02:37,534
Captain Holt has an interview
to become the Commissioner
70
00:02:37,618 --> 00:02:39,077
of the freakin' NYPD,
71
00:02:39,161 --> 00:02:40,953
and he's gonna nail
it and fulfill his destiny
72
00:02:41,037 --> 00:02:42,454
as Lord High Commander of all Justice.
73
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,706
Okay, let's not get carried away.
74
00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:46,457
Who says I'm even interested
in becoming Commissioner?
75
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:47,709
You, constantly,
76
00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:48,877
including the first day I met you.
77
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,295
I'm interested in becoming Commissioner.
Good to know.
78
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:52,546
Fair enough, but even so,
79
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:53,922
it's probably a long shot.
80
00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:55,882
I mean, there are many names on the list.
81
00:02:55,966 --> 00:02:57,049
Nope, just four.
82
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:59,593
Yeah, three major league jags and you.
83
00:02:59,677 --> 00:03:00,802
Sir, you're the perfect candidate,
84
00:03:00,886 --> 00:03:02,679
smart, well-respected, you smell great.
85
00:03:02,763 --> 00:03:03,888
That has nothing to do with the job.
86
00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:04,972
It's just something I've
been meaning to tell you.
87
00:03:05,056 --> 00:03:06,599
Is it sandalwood? Please calm down.
88
00:03:06,683 --> 00:03:07,765
Right, totally. Don't wanna jinx it.
89
00:03:07,849 --> 00:03:08,850
I don't believe in jinxes.
90
00:03:08,934 --> 00:03:10,226
Great, then you won't
mind me saying it's a lock.
91
00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:11,603
You're definitely gonna get it
and you're gonna smell even better
92
00:03:11,687 --> 00:03:13,312
with that Lord High Commander
of all Justice stank on you.
93
00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:14,397
Let's do this!
94
00:03:15,690 --> 00:03:17,023
JEFFORDS: I can't
wait to get on the plane.
95
00:03:17,107 --> 00:03:19,358
I used up my miles,
and upgraded first class.
96
00:03:19,442 --> 00:03:21,610
-Damn, Sarge.
-JEFFORDS: This is gonna be great.
97
00:03:21,694 --> 00:03:23,028
Sipping on a mimosa,
98
00:03:23,112 --> 00:03:24,529
snacking on a hummus trio,
99
00:03:24,613 --> 00:03:26,405
watching Bridget Jones's Baby.
100
00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:28,741
-Oh, GPS says turn left here.
-GPS: Turn left.
101
00:03:28,825 --> 00:03:30,408
No, this route is more direct.
102
00:03:30,492 --> 00:03:31,868
Oh, okay. You do you, Commish.
103
00:03:31,952 --> 00:03:33,077
Please don't call me that. Okay, fine,
104
00:03:33,161 --> 00:03:35,621
I'll just call you the 'Mish,
no wait, Mishy Elliott,
105
00:03:35,705 --> 00:03:37,664
no wait, Mish-es Doubtfire.
106
00:03:37,748 --> 00:03:40,333
-Oh, my God!
-[TIRES SCREECH]
107
00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,460
What? What is it? Nakatomi Plaza.
108
00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:45,921
It's the most important
monument in all of America.
109
00:03:46,005 --> 00:03:47,296
The building from Die Hard.
110
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:49,048
Can we go in? Can we pay our respects?
111
00:03:49,132 --> 00:03:51,682
Ooh, our flight leaves in
3 and a half hours, and…
112
00:03:52,426 --> 00:03:55,261
But it's like, what is time even?
113
00:03:55,345 --> 00:03:56,929
Legalizelt.
114
00:03:57,013 --> 00:03:58,764
Can we go in, sir?
Fine, just make it quick.
115
00:03:58,848 --> 00:03:59,848
Yes!
116
00:03:59,932 --> 00:04:02,224
Pull in over there, Argyle! What?
117
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,517
That's the name of
the driver in the movie.
118
00:04:03,601 --> 00:04:05,894
We're going to Nakatomi Plaza.
There's gonna be role-play.
119
00:04:05,978 --> 00:04:08,188
Oh, my God.
120
00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:10,481
It's even more beautiful than I imagined.
121
00:04:10,565 --> 00:04:12,191
It's an empty floor
that's under construction.
122
00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:13,358
Just like in the movie!
123
00:04:13,442 --> 00:04:15,443
Charles, this is the floor
that John McClane ran on
124
00:04:15,527 --> 00:04:16,527
with his bare feet.
125
00:04:16,611 --> 00:04:17,811
Take my picture with it!
126
00:04:19,864 --> 00:04:21,406
This is the window
where John McClane said,
127
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:23,866
"Welcome to the party, pal."
Take my picture with it!
128
00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:24,951
This is the vent where John McClane said,
129
00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,410
"Come out to the coast.
We'll get together, have a few laughs."
130
00:04:26,494 --> 00:04:27,494
Take my picture with it.
131
00:04:27,578 --> 00:04:29,162
This is the space, where even though
it's not really evident in the dialogue,
132
00:04:29,246 --> 00:04:30,622
you can tell that John McClane realizes
133
00:04:30,706 --> 00:04:32,039
that he should've been a
better husband to Holly Gennaro.
134
00:04:32,123 --> 00:04:34,375
Take my picture with it! Take my
picture with it! Take my picture with it!
135
00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:35,458
Take my picture with it!
136
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,211
But then he unclasps
the watch and Hans falls!
137
00:04:38,295 --> 00:04:41,004
[IMITATES SLOW-MOTION]
138
00:04:41,088 --> 00:04:42,089
That's a good one. That's a good one,
139
00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:43,799
That's a good one.
That's a good one. That's a good one.
140
00:04:43,883 --> 00:04:45,508
Okay, all 600 of these are great.
141
00:04:45,592 --> 00:04:46,592
We should probably head to the airport.
142
00:04:46,676 --> 00:04:47,760
We have more time, if you need it.
143
00:04:47,844 --> 00:04:49,594
There's literally nothing
left for me to shoot.
144
00:04:49,678 --> 00:04:51,328
All right, let's get out of here.
145
00:04:52,598 --> 00:04:53,764
The door is locked.
146
00:04:53,848 --> 00:04:55,474
That's strange, I thought
the guard propped it open.
147
00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:57,350
I'd kick my way out, but I think
these windows are bullet-proof.
148
00:04:57,434 --> 00:04:59,560
[GROANS] We're not
getting any reception in here.
149
00:04:59,644 --> 00:05:01,937
Guys, it's cool.
We just gotta roll with it.
150
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:03,689
You know, travel should be like jazz.
151
00:05:03,773 --> 00:05:05,732
Nuh-uh.
There's a lie-flat seat waiting for me,
152
00:05:05,816 --> 00:05:07,274
and I wanna be napping in it,
153
00:05:07,358 --> 00:05:09,860
with a hot towel wrapped
around my big bald head!
154
00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:12,278
Help!
All right, everybody just calm down.
155
00:05:12,362 --> 00:05:15,112
I'm sure that guard will be
back in, like, five minutes.
156
00:05:15,198 --> 00:05:16,323
We're gonna miss our flight.
157
00:05:16,407 --> 00:05:18,242
I should be sitting next
to a semi-famous person
158
00:05:18,326 --> 00:05:19,784
that I can't quite place right now.
159
00:05:19,868 --> 00:05:20,952
PERALTA: Come on, don't give up.
160
00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:22,161
If we get rescued right now
161
00:05:22,245 --> 00:05:23,413
and there's no traffic at the airport
162
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,705
and the van return goes smoothly
163
00:05:24,789 --> 00:05:26,790
and Security's super chill
about all the guns we have,
164
00:05:26,874 --> 00:05:28,042
we could still make it.
165
00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:31,335
You guys okay up here? Yes! See?
166
00:05:31,419 --> 00:05:32,503
I told you not to give up hope.
167
00:05:32,587 --> 00:05:34,504
It's a miracle.
We're still gonna make it!
168
00:05:34,588 --> 00:05:36,506
Yeah, we missed our flight by a lot.
169
00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:38,007
Yeah, but that's okay.
We can get the next one.
170
00:05:38,091 --> 00:05:40,175
Let's see, next flight…
Canceled. Canceled.
171
00:05:40,259 --> 00:05:41,509
Canceled. What is going on?
172
00:05:41,593 --> 00:05:43,678
There are huge storms in the Midwest.
173
00:05:43,762 --> 00:05:44,804
All flights are grounded.
174
00:05:44,888 --> 00:05:46,096
JEFFORDS: Oh, man.
175
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,639
I know this is the
wrong time to bring it up,
176
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,558
but we're standing 75
feet from where Argyle
177
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:51,542
picked up John McClane at the airport.
178
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,020
Take my picture with it.
179
00:05:57,731 --> 00:06:00,149
Okay, we can't get out until
Monday afternoon, at the earliest.
180
00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:02,234
I tried everything. I begged. I pleaded.
181
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,902
I even told them that Scully was a
Make-a-Wish kid with a rare disease
182
00:06:04,986 --> 00:06:06,362
that makes him look
like a giant old baby.
183
00:06:06,446 --> 00:06:07,655
Did you call it Scullyosis?
184
00:06:07,739 --> 00:06:10,365
Damn it, Rosa, that's really good
and completely useless to me now.
185
00:06:10,449 --> 00:06:12,283
They wouldn't even let
me into a first class lounge,
186
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:13,784
since my flight had already departed.
187
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:15,245
I grabbed this and ran.
188
00:06:15,912 --> 00:06:18,329
You're all that's left of
my dreams now, Mr. Mint.
189
00:06:18,413 --> 00:06:19,831
All right, stop hugging your mint.
190
00:06:19,915 --> 00:06:20,915
We have bigger problems.
191
00:06:20,999 --> 00:06:23,000
Captain Holt's Commissioner's
interview is on Monday.
192
00:06:23,084 --> 00:06:24,793
Can't he just reschedule? No!
193
00:06:24,877 --> 00:06:26,419
He's gonna be up
against the best of the best.
194
00:06:26,503 --> 00:06:28,921
The slightest slipup could
cost him the job, and…
195
00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:31,298
But whatever, you know.
196
00:06:31,382 --> 00:06:32,758
It is what it is, Daddy-O.
197
00:06:32,842 --> 00:06:34,175
Look, Captain Holt helped us all achieve
198
00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:36,385
our collective dream of
going to Nakatomi Plaza.
199
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:37,595
Only you. Now it's time for us
200
00:06:37,679 --> 00:06:39,471
to return the favor and
help him achieve his.
201
00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:41,389
Get him back to New York
in time for that interview.
202
00:06:41,473 --> 00:06:43,808
Now, we have until
Monday morning, and it takes
203
00:06:44,767 --> 00:06:46,518
48 hours to drive from LA to New York.
204
00:06:46,602 --> 00:06:48,436
-We've still got time.
-HOLT: No, we don't.
205
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,979
I checked with all the
car rental agencies.
206
00:06:50,063 --> 00:06:51,481
There are no available vehicles.
207
00:06:51,565 --> 00:06:53,356
I'm just gonna have to call the
Commissioner, cancel this meeting.
208
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,566
PERALTA: No, not on my watch.
209
00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:55,650
We just have to think.
210
00:06:55,734 --> 00:06:57,684
There's gotta be a way to get you back.
211
00:06:59,863 --> 00:07:02,447
Got it!
May I present to you the finest RV
212
00:07:02,531 --> 00:07:05,032
that not much money can
buy, The American Creeper.
213
00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:06,950
No one should have
to suffer like this for me.
214
00:07:07,034 --> 00:07:09,078
Suffer? This is a dream come true.
215
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,411
It's a cross-country road trip.
216
00:07:10,495 --> 00:07:12,246
My dad and I took one every summer.
217
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:14,081
You blast the Annie soundtrack,
218
00:07:14,165 --> 00:07:15,332
and you eat junk food,
219
00:07:15,583 --> 00:07:17,084
and you bond over secrets.
220
00:07:17,418 --> 00:07:19,210
I'm not telling you who I'm dating.
221
00:07:19,294 --> 00:07:20,628
All right, I'll take the first shift.
222
00:07:20,712 --> 00:07:23,046
American Creepers, let's get creeping!
223
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:24,715
[TIRES SCREECH]
224
00:07:30,887 --> 00:07:32,637
Hey, one hour down.
225
00:07:32,721 --> 00:07:35,139
-Victory honk.
-[PROLONGED HONK]
226
00:07:35,223 --> 00:07:37,349
Oh, no. Oh, boy.
227
00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:38,434
Horn's stuck.
228
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,437
[CLEARS THROAT] Nobody use the horn.
229
00:07:45,063 --> 00:07:46,439
-[ANXIOUS BREATHING]
-What you got there, Sarge?
230
00:07:46,523 --> 00:07:48,983
I microwaved a bunch of wet
napkins to make a hot towel.
231
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,484
Just because we're in a crappy RV
232
00:07:50,568 --> 00:07:53,279
doesn't mean I still
can't be First Class Terry.
233
00:07:54,196 --> 00:07:55,238
Mmm.
234
00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:57,157
Ah.
235
00:07:57,782 --> 00:07:59,033
Just like the real thing.
236
00:08:00,743 --> 00:08:01,785
PERALTA: Cheese puff, sir?
237
00:08:01,869 --> 00:08:03,619
No, thank you. They're full of chemicals.
238
00:08:03,703 --> 00:08:05,830
Well, yes, but everything's
made with chemicals,
239
00:08:05,914 --> 00:08:07,080
if you really think about it.
240
00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:08,164
I suppose you're right. I am?
241
00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:09,624
Let me try one. Oh.
242
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:11,542
[MUNCHING]
243
00:08:11,751 --> 00:08:12,793
It imploded in my mouth.
244
00:08:12,877 --> 00:08:14,128
That's the magic of the puff.
245
00:08:14,212 --> 00:08:15,379
You don't have to chew.
246
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:17,463
So, what are you gonna
do when you're Commish?
247
00:08:17,547 --> 00:08:21,049
I think you should focus on inter-agency
communication and intel sharing.
248
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,759
Also, laser jails.
249
00:08:22,843 --> 00:08:25,678
Let's not talk about
things that may not happen.
250
00:08:25,762 --> 00:08:27,972
Oh, I'd like to see an
increase in vacation days.
251
00:08:28,056 --> 00:08:29,973
And we should all get
summers off like teachers.
252
00:08:30,057 --> 00:08:31,307
Let the city go to purge.
253
00:08:32,267 --> 00:08:34,226
Hey, Rosa, are you ready to go streaking?
254
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:35,477
What? That's what my dad and I
255
00:08:35,561 --> 00:08:37,271
called getting blonde
streaks in your hair.
256
00:08:37,355 --> 00:08:39,689
We used to do it to our
ponytails on road trips.
257
00:08:39,773 --> 00:08:41,357
You just take a little lemon up top,
258
00:08:41,441 --> 00:08:42,858
and let the sun do the rest.
259
00:08:42,942 --> 00:08:44,568
We called it, "giving
each other road head."
260
00:08:44,652 --> 00:08:46,443
You just said you
called it "going streaking."
261
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:47,695
It had a couple names.
262
00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:49,614
Hey, speaking of names,
263
00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:51,281
who's your new boyfriend?
264
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:53,200
Ow! Ow! Oh!
265
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,119
Oh, man, you really went to
town on these cheese puffs.
266
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,704
Well, they're 80% air,
267
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,329
which is something your body needs.
268
00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:01,622
Dallas? What the hell?
269
00:09:01,706 --> 00:09:03,332
We were supposed to
be in Louisiana by now.
270
00:09:03,416 --> 00:09:05,292
We've been averaging 50 for 21 hours.
271
00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:06,543
Unless…
272
00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:09,420
Damn it! The speedometer's broken.
273
00:09:09,504 --> 00:09:10,921
No wonder everyone was flipping us off.
274
00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:12,131
I thought it was just racism.
275
00:09:12,215 --> 00:09:13,381
Well, I'm sure it didn't help.
276
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:15,175
Yeah. I'm sorry, I don't think
we can make up the time.
277
00:09:15,259 --> 00:09:17,134
No, there's no way I'm
letting you miss that interview.
278
00:09:17,218 --> 00:09:18,818
We just have to make less stops.
279
00:09:19,053 --> 00:09:21,305
Hey, guys, listen up, from now on,
280
00:09:21,972 --> 00:09:24,056
we use the bathroom in the RV.
281
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,600
No! There are so many of us.
282
00:09:25,684 --> 00:09:27,601
I know, I'm sorry, but it's the only way.
283
00:09:27,685 --> 00:09:28,686
Me first!
284
00:09:29,186 --> 00:09:31,353
Hey, guys, the door
doesn't close all the way.
285
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:32,855
No peeking.
286
00:09:36,191 --> 00:09:37,275
You guys didn't hear that, did you?
287
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,401
I'm still hearing it.
288
00:09:38,485 --> 00:09:39,860
I'm never gonna stop hearing it!
289
00:09:39,944 --> 00:09:40,945
Okay, new plan:
290
00:09:41,112 --> 00:09:42,696
we go back to the old
bathroom break schedule,
291
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:43,905
and we just drive at max speed.
292
00:09:43,989 --> 00:09:46,324
Captain, punch it. Punch it.
293
00:09:46,408 --> 00:09:47,450
Why are you not punching it?
294
00:09:47,534 --> 00:09:50,285
I'm not comfortable operating
this vehicle at a speed greater than
295
00:09:50,369 --> 00:09:51,912
the prevailing road
and traffic conditions.
296
00:09:51,996 --> 00:09:53,245
Fine! I'll do it myself.
297
00:09:53,329 --> 00:09:54,455
This is going great.
298
00:09:54,539 --> 00:09:56,739
I'm already used to the
bouncing and shaking.
299
00:09:56,999 --> 00:09:58,458
I smell smoke. Really?
300
00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:00,084
All I smell is residual Scully.
301
00:10:00,168 --> 00:10:01,793
I definitely smell smoke.
302
00:10:01,877 --> 00:10:02,878
Pull over right now.
303
00:10:03,963 --> 00:10:05,796
Well, I checked everywhere.
304
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,216
Nothing's on fire.
Nothing's even smoldering.
305
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:10,509
We just wasted ten minutes for no reason.
306
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,677
[EXPLOSION, GLASS SHATTERING]
307
00:10:12,761 --> 00:10:15,305
[CLATTERING]
308
00:10:16,723 --> 00:10:18,923
You know what, Captain,
I think you're right.
309
00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:20,225
I do smell smoke.
310
00:10:23,519 --> 00:10:25,229
So, bottom line this thing for me.
311
00:10:25,313 --> 00:10:27,023
How long is it gonna take to fix?
312
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,147
It's still on fire.
313
00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:29,524
She's gone, Jakey.
314
00:10:29,691 --> 00:10:31,442
She's creeping her way to heaven.
315
00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:33,610
Let's be honest, she's
creeping her way back to hell.
316
00:10:33,694 --> 00:10:36,278
All right, guys, we have to
focus, and think of a new plan
317
00:10:36,362 --> 00:10:37,780
for getting Holt back for his interview.
318
00:10:37,864 --> 00:10:40,449
Now, all we've lost is our
only mode of transportation.
319
00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:41,950
And our clothes and food!
320
00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,952
All I have left is this first class mint,
321
00:10:44,036 --> 00:10:45,118
and none of you get to eat him!
322
00:10:45,202 --> 00:10:46,453
Well, perhaps we should just focus
323
00:10:46,537 --> 00:10:47,871
on finding a place to sleep tonight.
324
00:10:47,955 --> 00:10:49,497
I might have a solution for that.
325
00:10:49,581 --> 00:10:50,915
How far is it to Mansfurd, Texas?
326
00:10:50,999 --> 00:10:52,500
Like, half an hour. Great!
327
00:10:52,751 --> 00:10:54,918
I have cousins there,
Becca, Tommy, and Steve.
328
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:56,086
There's a Boyle on every state.
329
00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,171
Texas Boyles. I'm excited.
330
00:10:58,255 --> 00:11:00,464
Do they wear bolo ties and cowboy hats?
331
00:11:00,548 --> 00:11:02,633
Nope, still just beige on tan.
332
00:11:02,717 --> 00:11:05,468
Steve, Tommy, Becca! Becca is a man.
333
00:11:05,552 --> 00:11:07,886
Oh, thank you so much
for letting us stay here.
334
00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:11,098
I love you. I love you.
335
00:11:11,182 --> 00:11:13,183
God, it is so nice to meet you guys!
336
00:11:13,767 --> 00:11:15,309
Is this a working cattle ranch?
337
00:11:15,393 --> 00:11:17,310
Oh, yes. This is a stud farm.
338
00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:20,854
We are the cow insemination
kings of Central Texas.
339
00:11:20,938 --> 00:11:21,939
Of course, you are.
340
00:11:22,023 --> 00:11:24,358
We have sleeping bags for
you guys here in the great room.
341
00:11:24,442 --> 00:11:25,775
If you hear what sounds like screaming,
342
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:27,527
that's just cow intercourse.
343
00:11:28,528 --> 00:11:30,237
-[COWS MOOING]
-Now we're all sleeping in one room,
344
00:11:30,321 --> 00:11:31,530
next to a cow orgy.
345
00:11:31,614 --> 00:11:33,365
I would much rather
be hanging out with you.
346
00:11:33,449 --> 00:11:35,283
-What are you doing, Boyle?
-BECCA: Just brushing my hair.
347
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,785
Not you, Becca. I was talking to Charles.
348
00:11:37,869 --> 00:11:38,868
I was just bringing you some water.
349
00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:40,245
Thanks. Mmm-hmm.
350
00:11:40,329 --> 00:11:43,497
So, uh, who you talking to?
Is that your mystery hunk?
351
00:11:43,581 --> 00:11:45,124
WOMAN: Babe, are you all right?
Is everything okay?
352
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:46,458
Yeah, it's fine.
I'll call you back later.
353
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:47,542
Was that a woman's voice?
354
00:11:47,626 --> 00:11:48,626
It's my sister.
355
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,796
Wait, she called you babe.
356
00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:51,920
When my cousin called me babe,
357
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,854
you said relatives shouldn't do that.
358
00:11:54,382 --> 00:11:55,532
What's really going on?
359
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,093
I'm dating a woman.
360
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,554
I'm bi. Oh… That's great.
361
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:04,680
That's great, Rose.
362
00:12:04,764 --> 00:12:06,432
I just want you to know
that I totally support…
363
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:08,434
I don't wanna talk
about it right now, okay?
364
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:09,934
Just leave it alone, Boyle.
365
00:12:10,018 --> 00:12:11,019
BECCA: By all means.
366
00:12:11,103 --> 00:12:12,479
Not you, Becca!
367
00:12:12,771 --> 00:12:15,022
Okay. I love you.
368
00:12:15,106 --> 00:12:16,107
I love you, too.
369
00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:18,274
[COWS MOANING]
370
00:12:22,319 --> 00:12:23,519
Can't sleep either, huh?
371
00:12:23,654 --> 00:12:26,239
This cow screaming is so loud.
372
00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:27,406
So loud.
373
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,158
Is it a pleasure sound or pain?
374
00:12:29,242 --> 00:12:30,242
Maybe they're into both?
375
00:12:30,326 --> 00:12:32,285
I hear they're into leather.
376
00:12:32,828 --> 00:12:34,329
Was that a joke? Gallows humor.
377
00:12:34,413 --> 00:12:37,123
Being in this bovine
brothel is truly a nightmare.
378
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:39,623
Hey, I'm sorry that
things didn't work out.
379
00:12:39,707 --> 00:12:41,625
I know you always hoped
that you'd be Commissioner.
380
00:12:41,709 --> 00:12:43,461
No. Over the course of my career,
381
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,795
I've learned that it's
best not to have hopes.
382
00:12:46,004 --> 00:12:47,965
Sir, that is so sad.
383
00:12:48,132 --> 00:12:49,882
That's like saying it's
best not to have dreams.
384
00:12:49,966 --> 00:12:52,468
I only have one dream a
year, always on Tax Day.
385
00:12:52,552 --> 00:12:54,218
In it, I must file an extension.
386
00:12:54,302 --> 00:12:57,013
So, yes, it is best not to have dreams.
387
00:12:57,097 --> 00:12:59,848
Well, I still wish I could've
got you back in time.
388
00:12:59,932 --> 00:13:01,557
Why do you care so much about this?
389
00:13:01,641 --> 00:13:03,935
I don't know, it's your dream,
390
00:13:04,394 --> 00:13:06,853
and, you know, you changed my life,
391
00:13:06,937 --> 00:13:09,273
made me wanna be a
better man, or whatever.
392
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,490
Thank you for trying.
393
00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:13,359
But deep down,
394
00:13:13,818 --> 00:13:15,818
I always knew I'd never be Commissioner.
395
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,071
All my dreams start with
396
00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:20,322
my step-sister painting her house.
397
00:13:20,406 --> 00:13:22,699
And they end with the
house looking great?
398
00:13:22,783 --> 00:13:24,075
No. Sex.
399
00:13:24,617 --> 00:13:25,618
[GROANS]
400
00:13:28,829 --> 00:13:30,539
[COW MOOING AGGRESSIVELY]
401
00:13:30,831 --> 00:13:32,082
PERALTA: Guys! [CLAPS] Guys!
402
00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:33,832
Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Up, up, up! Come on!
403
00:13:33,916 --> 00:13:34,917
What's going on?
404
00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:37,043
Captain Holt, I know you've
given up on your future,
405
00:13:37,127 --> 00:13:38,127
but I haven't.
406
00:13:38,211 --> 00:13:39,545
You're going to that interview.
407
00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:40,630
It's too late, Peralta.
408
00:13:40,714 --> 00:13:42,089
Just put a sock in it, man!
409
00:13:42,173 --> 00:13:43,715
I'm doing this because of
how much I care about you,
410
00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:45,092
so just stay the hell out of the way!
411
00:13:45,176 --> 00:13:46,550
But we're too late to drive,
412
00:13:46,634 --> 00:13:47,885
and there's no available flights.
413
00:13:47,969 --> 00:13:49,553
That's what I thought,
but on the way here,
414
00:13:49,637 --> 00:13:50,970
we passed the town of Jacksboro.
415
00:13:51,054 --> 00:13:52,430
I knew I recognized it from somewhere.
416
00:13:52,514 --> 00:13:53,848
Where? Sorry, are you monologuing,
417
00:13:53,932 --> 00:13:55,057
or is this a call- and-response thing?
418
00:13:55,141 --> 00:13:56,141
No, that was great.
419
00:13:56,225 --> 00:13:57,893
Now, I order a lot of beef jerky online,
420
00:13:57,977 --> 00:13:59,310
because I'm a cool
guy with cool interests,
421
00:13:59,394 --> 00:14:01,729
and it's always shipped
from Jacksboro, Texas.
422
00:14:01,813 --> 00:14:03,230
There's a huge fulfillment center there.
423
00:14:03,314 --> 00:14:04,564
There is? Yes, Charles.
424
00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,149
I called them, and
they ship their packages
425
00:14:06,233 --> 00:14:07,401
out of a regional airport.
426
00:14:07,485 --> 00:14:09,693
They do? That's too much.
Maybe back off a little bit.
427
00:14:09,777 --> 00:14:11,737
Passenger planes
don't fly out of Jacksboro,
428
00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,488
but thing planes do!
429
00:14:13,572 --> 00:14:15,240
You mean cargo planes? Yes, thank you.
430
00:14:15,324 --> 00:14:16,323
Terry gets to interject?
431
00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:19,535
The point is, we get to fly on the
back of a cargo plane to Philadelphia.
432
00:14:19,619 --> 00:14:20,827
When do we have to be in Jacksboro?
433
00:14:20,911 --> 00:14:22,578
In an hour and a half,
so get up and get ready.
434
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,038
Well, we've been in
these clothes since Friday.
435
00:14:24,122 --> 00:14:25,956
We smell like butt.
And all our stuff exploded.
436
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,041
Right, good point.
437
00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:29,126
Uh, I guess we'll just
have to borrow some.
438
00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:30,877
Oh, no. From who?
439
00:14:31,127 --> 00:14:33,338
["NO SLEEP TILL BROOKLYN" PLAYING]
440
00:14:35,797 --> 00:14:39,592
No sleep till Brooklyn!
441
00:14:40,885 --> 00:14:42,177
We look so cool right now.
442
00:14:42,261 --> 00:14:44,361
I feel like we're in a
Mervyn's commercial.
443
00:14:44,471 --> 00:14:46,723
ALL: Yeah, Mervyn's!
444
00:14:48,015 --> 00:14:49,599
JEFFORDS: Is this cattle trailer safe?
445
00:14:49,683 --> 00:14:51,684
Who cares, it's fun.
446
00:14:51,768 --> 00:14:52,893
[TRAILER RUMBLES]
447
00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:54,145
Yeah, it's terrifying,
448
00:14:54,229 --> 00:14:56,354
but it doesn't matter, because
we're almost to the airport.
449
00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:57,522
[SIRENS BLARING]
450
00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:59,107
What? No, why?
451
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,357
Just because we're eight people
452
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,151
standing in the back of a cattle car?
453
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,944
Nah, I don't care about that.
454
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,945
We got a tip saying there
were drugs being moved
455
00:15:06,029 --> 00:15:08,990
in the back of a gray
bovine transport unit.
456
00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:12,951
Well, this is terrible.
457
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:15,453
Wait a minute, who called this tip in?
It's impossible to say.
458
00:15:15,537 --> 00:15:17,788
They said the drugs were in
the back of a bovine transport unit.
459
00:15:17,872 --> 00:15:19,164
Who calls it that? Everyone.
460
00:15:19,248 --> 00:15:20,598
That's what they're called.
461
00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:23,709
Yeah, if you're a robot,
462
00:15:23,793 --> 00:15:26,170
and you're the only robot I know, sir.
463
00:15:26,254 --> 00:15:28,337
[ROBOTIC INFLECTION] Bovine.
Transport. Unit.
464
00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:30,006
Meep-morp. Zeep.
465
00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:32,215
This is preposterous.
What are you implying?
466
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:33,842
Let me see your phone.
I wanna see your call history.
467
00:15:33,926 --> 00:15:34,926
No. Let me see it!
468
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,385
No, no! Get away! Give it to me!
469
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,137
Guys, come on. Break it up!
470
00:15:38,221 --> 00:15:39,305
[BOTH GRUNT]
471
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:40,472
Ah-ha!
472
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:43,850
Twenty-five minutes
ago, outgoing call to 911.
473
00:15:43,934 --> 00:15:45,851
You sabotaged us, Mr. Robot!
474
00:15:45,935 --> 00:15:48,563
Not the TV show, but the
point is, you sabotaged us!
475
00:15:48,937 --> 00:15:50,897
Terry, would you do the honors?
476
00:15:51,064 --> 00:15:52,607
[YELLS] Why?
477
00:15:54,942 --> 00:15:55,942
You called the pigs on us?
478
00:15:56,026 --> 00:15:57,152
I don't know how this happened.
479
00:15:57,236 --> 00:15:58,444
Perhaps it was a bottom dial.
480
00:15:58,528 --> 00:16:00,779
Liar. The reason you said you knew
you'd never become Commissioner
481
00:16:00,863 --> 00:16:02,280
is 'cause you were making sure of it.
482
00:16:02,364 --> 00:16:04,073
You've been sabotaging
us from the beginning.
483
00:16:04,157 --> 00:16:05,158
Oh, please.
484
00:16:05,242 --> 00:16:07,367
You drove by Nakatomi
Plaza on purpose, didn't you?
485
00:16:07,451 --> 00:16:10,287
You knew I would see it and
go insane and have to go inside,
486
00:16:10,371 --> 00:16:11,871
and then you trapped
us in there, didn't you?
487
00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:12,956
Didn't you?
488
00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:15,082
Fine. I did.
489
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,042
Over here is the elevator
where McClane put the
490
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:19,276
"now I have a machine
gun, ho, ho, ho" down.
491
00:16:19,752 --> 00:16:20,753
Take my picture with it!
492
00:16:20,837 --> 00:16:22,421
And there were plenty of
rental cars at the airport,
493
00:16:22,505 --> 00:16:23,506
weren't there? Hundreds.
494
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:25,340
And you broke the speedometer.
And what else?
495
00:16:25,424 --> 00:16:27,467
Did you somehow force
Scully to stink up the RV
496
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:28,592
so we'd have to stop more often?
497
00:16:28,676 --> 00:16:30,010
It wasn't difficult.
498
00:16:30,094 --> 00:16:32,304
Three corn dogs for 99 cents?
499
00:16:32,388 --> 00:16:34,931
Who could possibly eat three corn dogs
500
00:16:35,015 --> 00:16:36,641
and has a dollar?
501
00:16:38,767 --> 00:16:39,768
Oh, my God.
502
00:16:39,893 --> 00:16:41,602
Did you blow up the Creeper?
503
00:16:41,686 --> 00:16:43,104
-Not on purpose.
-[ALL GROAN]
504
00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:46,147
Once I realized your
revolting cheese puffs
505
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:48,691
were made with some
extremely unstable chemicals,
506
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,400
I deposited a few in the gas tank.
507
00:16:50,484 --> 00:16:51,610
I thought they'd shut the engine down.
508
00:16:51,694 --> 00:16:53,404
I didn't realize they'd ignite it.
509
00:16:53,904 --> 00:16:55,029
You really shouldn't eat those, Peralta.
510
00:16:55,113 --> 00:16:57,156
Don't tell me what to do, saboteur.
511
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,616
How dare you make me this
upset while I'm wearing this outfit?
512
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,576
Look, we've been busting
our asses the whole weekend
513
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:03,078
to try and get you back
to New York in time,
514
00:17:03,162 --> 00:17:04,161
and for what?
515
00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:05,413
Is it all just a lie?
516
00:17:05,580 --> 00:17:06,830
Is there even a Commissioner's meeting.
517
00:17:06,914 --> 00:17:07,915
Are you even Captain Holt?
518
00:17:07,999 --> 00:17:09,165
Do you even have a dog named Cheddar?
519
00:17:09,249 --> 00:17:10,250
There's a Commissioners meeting,
520
00:17:10,334 --> 00:17:11,501
and I do have a dog named Cheddar.
521
00:17:11,585 --> 00:17:12,668
Then why'd you do it?
522
00:17:15,171 --> 00:17:16,172
I'm compromised.
523
00:17:16,672 --> 00:17:18,256
I made a decision a while ago,
524
00:17:18,340 --> 00:17:20,759
and now some people
are holding it over my head.
525
00:17:21,134 --> 00:17:22,717
I'm afraid of what they'll ask me to do
526
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,051
if I become Commissioner.
527
00:17:24,219 --> 00:17:25,596
You're compromised?
528
00:17:26,638 --> 00:17:29,473
How did this happen, Mr. Prevailing
Traffic and Road Conditions?
529
00:17:29,557 --> 00:17:30,598
It doesn't matter.
530
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:31,933
Seamus Murphy.
531
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:34,393
What? Seamus Murphy, the gangster.
532
00:17:34,477 --> 00:17:37,688
He offered me info that would
get you and Rosa out of prison,
533
00:17:37,772 --> 00:17:38,980
in exchange for a favor.
534
00:17:39,064 --> 00:17:40,356
And Holt told me to turn it down,
535
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:42,024
because he said it was too risky.
536
00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:44,358
But you didn't turn it
down, did you, Captain?
537
00:17:44,526 --> 00:17:45,527
No, I did not.
538
00:17:45,986 --> 00:17:49,781
Wait, so you risked everything
to get me and Rosa out of prison?
539
00:17:51,282 --> 00:17:53,659
Oh, my God. You did all of this for us?
540
00:17:53,867 --> 00:17:55,035
[EXHALES]
541
00:17:55,827 --> 00:17:58,412
I love you, Da…aptain, Daptain.
542
00:17:58,496 --> 00:17:59,705
It's the cool new way of saying Captain.
543
00:17:59,789 --> 00:18:00,830
It's from the world of hip-hop.
544
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,206
Love you. [SNIFFLES]
545
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,417
Sir, why didn't you tell us?
546
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,877
I didn't want any of
you entangled in this.
547
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,421
This is my decision, and
it's also my responsibility.
548
00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:12,840
Sir, with all due respect,
549
00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:14,340
the first thing that you taught me
550
00:18:14,424 --> 00:18:16,718
when you came to the
Nine-Nine is that we're a team,
551
00:18:16,802 --> 00:18:19,595
so your responsibility
is my responsibility too.
552
00:18:19,845 --> 00:18:24,349
And mine. And mine.
553
00:18:24,683 --> 00:18:25,975
Six people seems like a lot.
554
00:18:26,059 --> 00:18:28,409
I mean, at some point,
it's just too many cooks.
555
00:18:29,478 --> 00:18:30,478
And mine.
556
00:18:30,562 --> 00:18:31,812
You're gonna take that meeting,
557
00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:34,996
you're gonna get the job, and
you're gonna become Commissioner,
558
00:18:35,441 --> 00:18:37,483
and we'll all figure out
what to do about Murphy.
559
00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:38,568
I'm touched.
560
00:18:39,027 --> 00:18:40,944
But it's moved.
We've missed the cargo plane.
561
00:18:41,028 --> 00:18:43,488
And now there's no way to get back
in time for me to make my meeting.
562
00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:44,947
Nuh-uh. Amy?
563
00:18:45,031 --> 00:18:47,783
What up, bro? I need you to climb
back on that strungness ladder,
564
00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:49,701
and I need you to climb pretty high.
565
00:18:49,785 --> 00:18:50,994
How high? Remember that time
566
00:18:51,078 --> 00:18:52,370
we went to the deli for cold cuts,
567
00:18:52,454 --> 00:18:53,455
and the ticket machine was broken,
568
00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:55,164
so you found out what
time everyone arrived
569
00:18:55,248 --> 00:18:56,665
and made them get in a single-file line
570
00:18:56,749 --> 00:18:57,949
from earliest to latest?
571
00:18:58,083 --> 00:18:59,835
Yeah. Higher.
572
00:19:00,544 --> 00:19:01,794
Copy that.
573
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:04,212
[INHALING SHARPLY, HUFFING]
574
00:19:04,296 --> 00:19:06,089
You might wanna stand back for this, sir.
575
00:19:06,173 --> 00:19:07,173
It can get pretty intense.
576
00:19:07,257 --> 00:19:09,050
[YELLING]
577
00:19:09,384 --> 00:19:11,217
All right, you mooks,
our union health plan
578
00:19:11,301 --> 00:19:13,970
has 100% reimbursement for
out-of-state ambulance rides.
579
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:15,638
Scully will fake a medical emergency.
580
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,723
Don't need to fake it.
Always having at least one.
581
00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:20,975
Great. You call an ambulance, and
have it take us here to Monroe, Louisiana.
582
00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:23,645
The ambulance can drive 25
miles over the posted speed limit,
583
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,437
so we'll get there by 9 p.m.
584
00:19:25,521 --> 00:19:27,773
There's a small airport there,
mostly servicing crop dusters.
585
00:19:27,857 --> 00:19:29,148
Of course, they can't take passengers,
586
00:19:29,232 --> 00:19:32,318
but thanks to a loophole in HR 377551,
587
00:19:32,402 --> 00:19:34,361
police officers are allowed
to commandeer any plane
588
00:19:34,445 --> 00:19:35,820
in the interest of national security.
589
00:19:35,904 --> 00:19:37,322
The crop duster will land at an airstrip
590
00:19:37,406 --> 00:19:38,656
outside of Finksburg, Maryland.
591
00:19:38,740 --> 00:19:39,865
We'll take a cab to Baltimore,
592
00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:43,159
jump on the 6:48 a.m.
train to New York, arriving at 9:26.
593
00:19:43,243 --> 00:19:45,495
Kevin will meet us at Penn Station
with a fresh Captain's uniform.
594
00:19:45,579 --> 00:19:47,996
From there, it's a 29-minute
cab ride to One Police Plaza.
595
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,581
You change on the way, and
we should get to your meeting
596
00:19:49,665 --> 00:19:51,123
with five minutes to spare.
597
00:19:51,207 --> 00:19:54,169
[APPLAUSE]
598
00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:57,962
Stop clapping, you idiots!
We gotta move, move, move!
599
00:19:58,046 --> 00:19:59,047
PERALTA: [MUMBLES] I love her.
600
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,759
No sleep till Brooklyn!
601
00:20:04,176 --> 00:20:07,471
No sleep till Brooklyn!
602
00:20:08,096 --> 00:20:09,930
Yes! We did it!
603
00:20:10,014 --> 00:20:11,390
I can't believe we did it!
604
00:20:11,724 --> 00:20:15,560
Peralta, thank you
for not quitting on me.
605
00:20:16,227 --> 00:20:18,145
Of course, sir. Go get 'em.
606
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,120
Wait, wait! Just one more thing.
607
00:20:21,231 --> 00:20:22,774
Your first class mint?
608
00:20:24,025 --> 00:20:25,275
I know how important this is to you.
609
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,485
You know what really
makes a trip first class?
610
00:20:27,569 --> 00:20:30,363
It's not the extra leg room
or the complimentary drinks…
611
00:20:30,447 --> 00:20:32,072
Actually, Terry, we don't really
have time for a speech right now.
612
00:20:32,156 --> 00:20:34,306
Fine, your breath sucks!
Just pop it and go!
613
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:37,535
It's good to be home.
614
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,453
Uh-buh-buh-buh-buh!
615
00:20:39,745 --> 00:20:40,912
Drink this instead.
616
00:20:40,996 --> 00:20:41,996
A mimosa!
617
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,207
Made with First Class Champagne.
618
00:20:44,415 --> 00:20:46,375
That's the brand name.
It's from Arkansas.
619
00:20:46,459 --> 00:20:47,460
I hope it's good.
620
00:20:48,794 --> 00:20:50,586
Hell yeah! Really?
621
00:20:50,670 --> 00:20:53,004
No, it's terrible, but I really
appreciate the thought.
622
00:20:53,088 --> 00:20:54,089
Oh, I'll take it.
623
00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:55,382
Hey. Hey.
624
00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:58,342
So, I didn't say anything about being bi,
625
00:20:58,426 --> 00:21:00,636
because I didn't think it
was anybody's business.
626
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,770
And I also didn't want
anything to change.
627
00:21:03,055 --> 00:21:04,973
I get it. I'm sorry I was so nosy.
628
00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:06,098
It actually felt really good
629
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,132
to tell somebody on the squad, finally.
630
00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:10,610
I'm glad it was you. All right.
631
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,604
Also, now we go back to never
talking about my love life again.
632
00:21:14,688 --> 00:21:17,023
Uh, request denied.
Is her name Anne? Meredith?
633
00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:18,608
Kim? Erica? Moana?
634
00:21:18,692 --> 00:21:20,025
PERALTA: Captain Holt! It's official.
635
00:21:20,109 --> 00:21:21,861
My hat is in the ring for Commissioner.
636
00:21:21,945 --> 00:21:23,029
[ALL CHEER]
637
00:21:23,487 --> 00:21:24,571
I still don't know how we're gonna deal
638
00:21:24,655 --> 00:21:26,573
with the Murphy complication.
639
00:21:26,698 --> 00:21:29,116
Two words, laser jails.
640
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:30,784
But, you know, we'll figure it out.
641
00:21:30,868 --> 00:21:32,036
Nine-Nine!
642
00:21:32,244 --> 00:21:33,578
ALL: Nine-Nine!