1
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:45,359
<i>♪ Trailer for sale or rent ♪</i>

2
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,519
<i>♪ Rooms to let 50 cents ♪</i>

3
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,439
<i>♪ No phone, no pool, no pets ♪</i>

4
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,559
<i>♪ I ain't got no cigarettes ♪</i>

5
00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:01,560
<i>♪ Ah but, two hours of
pushing broom buys a ♪</i>

6
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,399
<i>♪ Eight by twelve four-bit room ♪</i>

7
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:10,239
<i>♪ I'm a man of means by no means ♪</i>

8
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,759
<i>♪ King of the road ♪</i>

9
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,119
<i>It's over there.</i>

10
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,320
<i>♪ Third boxcar midnight train ♪</i>

11
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,559
<i>♪ Destination Bangor, Maine ♪</i>

12
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,879
<i>Look at 'em.</i>

13
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,319
<i>Always the same these literary tours.</i>

14
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,719
<i>Book reading psychopaths.</i>

15
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:29,879
<i>Do you remember Joanna
Lumley when she did that</i>

16
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,960
<i>"Places of My Life" tour?</i>

17
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,719
<i>That second day, she barricaded
herself in the toilets.</i>

18
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,399
<i>I was slipping her garibaldis
through the ventilation grid.</i>

19
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,200
<i>By the time they got her out of there,</i>

20
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,799
<i>she were blinking at daylight
like a Chilean miner.</i>

21
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,319
<i>Oh, you'll love this one.</i>

22
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,679
<i>Murder mystery writer David Van Der Clane</i>

23
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,639
<i>is gonna show us where
he set all his books.</i>

24
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,640
<i>Mm.</i>

25
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,879
<i>Maybe he can identify the
culprit who killed my dreams.</i>

26
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:55,880
<i>Ready?</i>

27
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,439
<i>What sort of a time do you call this?</i>

28
00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:02,879
<i>We've been waiting so long
my leg's gone to sleep.</i>

29
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,999
<i>My good leg and all.</i>

30
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,639
<i>Oh, I'm sorry everyone.</i>

31
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:07,840
<i>We hit a deer.</i>

32
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,959
<i>Did we?</i>

33
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,399
<i>Oh, goodness, look at her.</i>

34
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,239
<i>She's trembling like a leaf.</i>

35
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,599
<i>I killed a deer once.</i>

36
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,399
<i>That was back when I used to drink.</i>

37
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,759
<i>Threw a brick at its head.</i>

38
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:22,919
<i>It's Terry I feel for,</i>

39
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:23,800
<i>he was driving.</i>

40
00:02:23,801 --> 00:02:25,319
<i>Oh, look at him.</i>

41
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,799
<i>He's ashen.</i>

42
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,999
<i>Like he's had all the
life drained out of him.</i>

43
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,239
<i>Thanks.</i>

44
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,320
<i>Thanks a lot.</i>

45
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,959
<i>Okay?</i>

46
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,560
<i>Shall we get everyone on board?</i>

47
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,599
<i>I'll help you, ma'am.</i>

48
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,440
<i>Up you get.</i>

49
00:02:42,441 --> 00:02:44,360
<i>Come on, I want a view.</i>

50
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,640
<i>Hi.</i>

51
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,400
<i>Good morning.</i>

52
00:02:51,401 --> 00:02:52,719
<i>You're late.</i>

53
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,919
<i>Hello.</i>

54
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,000
<i>Good morning.</i>

55
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:57,999
<i>Um, I need the toilet.</i>

56
00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,359
<i>No, Kevin, you've already been.</i>

57
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,240
<i>Ah, gotcha.</i>

58
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,120
<i>Already been.</i>

59
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:02,960
<i>Right.</i>

60
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:03,960
<i>No...</i>

61
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,639
<i>My brother has some memory problems.</i>

62
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:09,239
<i>Um, he does things that he can't remember</i>

63
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,839
<i>if he's done them at all.</i>

64
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,879
<i>Tell me about it.</i>

65
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,599
<i>I've got an all-inclusive holiday in Ibiza</i>

66
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,919
<i>that's still a bit of a blur.</i>

67
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,280
<i>Well that's... delightful.</i>

68
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:25,720
<i>Thank you.</i>

69
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,479
<i>Before we get going, we've
got a bit of rain forecast,</i>

70
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:37,159
<i>so I will be handing
out your complementary</i>

71
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,359
<i>Draper's Tours pack-a-macs.</i>

72
00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,839
<i>Yellow? We're going to look jaundiced.</i>

73
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,479
<i>Mildred's just got over that.</i>

74
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,639
<i>She's right.</i>

75
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,959
<i>The nurses said I was
like a friendly lemon.</i>

76
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,520
<i>And so it begins.</i>

77
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,400
<i>Mr. Van Der Clane,</i>

78
00:03:57,401 --> 00:03:59,399
<i>I was getting a little worried about you.</i>

79
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,199
<i>I'm Gemma Draper, from Draper's Tours.</i>

80
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,560
<i>Welcome aboard my four wheeled chariot</i>

81
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,040
<i>of mystery and intrigue.</i>

82
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,559
<i>Under my command, we shall
see all the locations</i>

83
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,480
<i>described in my most popular books.</i>

84
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,720
<i>Who knows where it will take us?</i>

85
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,119
<i>Well we do actually have
quite a detailed itinerary.</i>

86
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,479
<i>And Terry's got a sat nav and everything.</i>

87
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:32,599
<i>And who indeed knows if
we will all make it...</i>

88
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,319
<i>To the end.</i>

89
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:35,919
<i>From the cathedral location,</i>

90
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,799
<i>where I conceived my very first book,</i>

91
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,960
<i>all the way to the scene
of my most popular novel,</i>

92
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,159
<i>the Blackpool Tower Ballroom itself.</i>

93
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,320
<i>Ooh!</i>

94
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,959
<i>By some very reasonably
priced cafes and gift shops</i>

95
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,879
<i>that I'm able to offer
discount vouchers for,</i>

96
00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,479
<i>cash only, see me later.</i>

97
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,799
<i>And of course, a copy of one of my books</i>

98
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,480
<i>signed by my own fair
hand, for a small fee.</i>

99
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,719
<i>Garibaldis in the toilet looking
a lot more appealing now,</i>

100
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:12,720
<i>aren't they?</i>

101
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,159
<i>Come on, let's get going.</i>

102
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,519
<i>Ben?</i>

103
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,199
<i>What the hell are you doing here?</i>

104
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,679
<i>I bought a ticket for the tour.</i>

105
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,999
<i>Bugger off.</i>

106
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:22,960
<i>If it's trouble with a man,</i>

107
00:05:22,961 --> 00:05:24,679
<i>I've got a taser in my bag.</i>

108
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,159
<i>And Mildred here's got nunchucks.</i>

109
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,959
<i>I still love you, Gemgem.</i>

110
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,719
<i>Can you get away from our coach, please,</i>

111
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,799
<i>and by the way, I mean at
least 500 sodding metres</i>

112
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,839
<i>like the judge said, or
I'm calling the police.</i>

113
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,279
<i>Call the police?</i>

114
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,439
<i>Don't think so.</i>

115
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:42,439
<i>Your mum says if this tour
goes badly like the others,</i>

116
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,359
<i>you'll end up bankrupt.</i>

117
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,639
<i>You talked to me mum?</i>

118
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,919
<i>Yeah, don't worry, it
was just on Facebook.</i>

119
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,199
<i>And I was pretending to be your niece.</i>

120
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,599
<i>Ugh!</i>

121
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,600
<i>Ow!</i>

122
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,959
<i>Terry, shut the door and drive.</i>

123
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,439
<i>Quick, Terry.</i>

124
00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:56,360
<i>Gemma!</i>

125
00:05:56,361 --> 00:05:57,919
<i>Oh, Gemma!</i>

126
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:58,840
<i>Terry, just drive!</i>

127
00:05:58,840 --> 00:05:59,800
<i>♪ A little less conversation ♪</i>

128
00:05:59,801 --> 00:06:02,879
<i>♪ A little more action ♪</i>

129
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,399
<i>♪ All this aggravation ♪</i>

130
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,159
<i>♪ Ain't satisfactioning me ♪</i>

131
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,279
<i>♪ A little more bite
and a little less bark ♪</i>

132
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,359
<i>♪ A little less fight
and a little more spark ♪</i>

133
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,159
<i>♪ Close your mouth and
open up your heart, baby ♪</i>

134
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,079
<i>♪ Satisfy me ♪</i>

135
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,639
<i>♪ Satisfy me, baby ♪</i>

136
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:22,640
<i>♪ Baby close your eyes
and listen to the music ♪</i>

137
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,359
<i>Attention please, ladies and gents.</i>

138
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,319
<i>After a slightly delayed start,</i>

139
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,919
<i>we are now winding our merry
way to Bartleby Cathedral,</i>

140
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,999
<i>the site of our first murder.</i>

141
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,399
<i>Where I believe they
have a wonderful tapestry</i>

142
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,119
<i>of the crucifixion.</i>

143
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,039
<i>So we'll be able to celebrate
two fictional killings</i>

144
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,480
<i>at the same time.</i>

145
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:48,520
<i>Any questions?</i>

146
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,079
<i>That aren't about my ex-boyfriend/stalker.</i>

147
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,799
<i>You're losing the crowd.</i>

148
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,519
<i>Give it here.</i>

149
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,039
<i>Ta.</i>

150
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,479
<i>Welcome aboard.</i>

151
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,559
<i>I only have one rule while
I'm driving, and it's this.</i>

152
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,239
<i>The toilet is not, and I
cannot stress this enough,</i>

153
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:08,520
<i>not for solids.</i>

154
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,199
<i>And yes, I'm talking to
you, the golden girls.</i>

155
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,160
<i>Ta.</i>

156
00:07:14,161 --> 00:07:16,119
<i>You'll have no issues with me, young man.</i>

157
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,799
<i>The doctor gave me a bag for life.</i>

158
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,239
<i>Thanks Terry.</i>

159
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,559
<i>So sit back, enjoy the views,</i>

160
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,519
<i>and I'll be around with
some complementary snacks</i>

161
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,679
<i>for you all momentarily.</i>

162
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,839
<i>You'd better be.</i>

163
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,439
<i>And nothing spicy, mind.</i>

164
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,199
<i>If I'm to follow Terry's only rule,</i>

165
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,279
<i>I'll need something that binds.</i>

166
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,119
<i>Don't worry, Marj.</i>

167
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,079
<i>I brought our boiled
eggs for the rest of us.</i>

168
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,600
<i>These shall bung us up good and proper.</i>

169
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:51,639
<i>Excuse me,</i>

170
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,079
<i>we were promised executive seating.</i>

171
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,439
<i>They are all executive seats.</i>

172
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,599
<i>Really?</i>

173
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,239
<i>There's what I think is a pork scratching</i>

174
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,799
<i>down the side of mine.</i>

175
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,239
<i>Why not try to think of it as</i>

176
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,680
<i>an executive pork scratching?</i>

177
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,119
<i>One other thing.</i>

178
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,720
<i>Do we have to sit across
from these people?</i>

179
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,399
<i>They're like zombies in sport tights.</i>

180
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,919
<i>And what about us?</i>

181
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:17,639
<i>You've sat us over from this snotty woman</i>

182
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,039
<i>and her ferret faced husband.</i>

183
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,479
<i>How did you hear that?</i>

184
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,159
<i>I've got my hearing aid
cranked right up, love,</i>

185
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,839
<i>in case folk are talking about me.</i>

186
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,039
<i>Anyway, what have we got to look at?</i>

187
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,759
<i>You, and that gormless lump.</i>

188
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,999
<i>That is eavesdropping.</i>

189
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,959
<i>Your husband's got a
head like a sad potato.</i>

190
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,599
<i>It's not his fault,
it's the way he's built.</i>

191
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,439
<i>I've got varicose veins
you can see from space.</i>

192
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,719
<i>And Mildred here, she's got a hairy back.</i>

193
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,879
<i>You said you wouldn't tell.</i>

194
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,439
<i>And I'm agoraphobic and claustrophobic,</i>

195
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,920
<i>so I'm never really settled.</i>

196
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,679
<i>You've put me in the wrong seat, Laura.</i>

197
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:03,559
<i>How can I enjoy the
view from an aisle seat?</i>

198
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,119
<i>I'm sorry, Moira, I got
you one as far as I could.</i>

199
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,399
<i>I don't think I'm strong enough to get you</i>

200
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,919
<i>all the way over to the window.</i>

201
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:13,079
<i>So your puny body has
once more ruined my day.</i>

202
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,439
<i>Honestly, if this coach were to crash,</i>

203
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,359
<i>I wonder if you'd be
able to rescue me at all.</i>

204
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,279
<i>I would, Moira, I promise.</i>

205
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,519
<i>Just lay there, dying, wondering where you</i>

206
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,799
<i>and your weak arms were
failing to drag me.</i>

207
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,199
<i>Excuse me, ladies.</i>

208
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,039
<i>Are you in need of assistance?</i>

209
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,079
<i>Dr. James Grantling, pleasure to meet you.</i>

210
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,600
<i>Doctor, you say?</i>

211
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,199
<i>Couldn't help but overhear.</i>

212
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,279
<i>Might I be able to help?</i>

213
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,239
<i>Laura, wasn't it?</i>

214
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,319
<i>Splendid.</i>

215
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,720
<i>Now, I might have to
put my arms around you-</i>

216
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,319
<i>But I assure you, nothing
untoward will happen.</i>

217
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,439
<i>I always buy a lady at
least a gin and tonic first.</i>

218
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,439
<i>Oh, permission granted, and I'll hold you</i>

219
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,639
<i>to that gin and tonic.</i>

220
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:56,879
<i>You don't drink.</i>

221
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,080
<i>Shut up!</i>

222
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:00,440
<i>There you are.</i>

223
00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:01,479
<i>Oh, thank you so much.</i>

224
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,320
<i>- Pleasure.
- Would you like to-</i>

225
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:04,319
<i>No, no, I'm fine thank you.</i>

226
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:05,519
<i>Thank you ladies, see you later.</i>

227
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,360
<i>See you later.</i>

228
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,519
<i>And please, no one forget
where we're parked.</i>

229
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,719
<i>You get left behind, you're on your own.</i>

230
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,760
<i>You just have to set up
a life here for yourself.</i>

231
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:46,440
<i>Oh!</i>

232
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:51,119
<i>Why is this cathedral not
wheelchair accessible?</i>

233
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,839
<i>Accessibility wasn't really an issue</i>

234
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,839
<i>in the 15th century.</i>

235
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,279
<i>They didn't have you in mind
when they built this place.</i>

236
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,359
<i>If they had, we'd be seeing
an access ramp on a tapestry.</i>

237
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,279
<i>I'll have you know this country was built</i>

238
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,279
<i>by people exactly like me.</i>

239
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,519
<i>What, post-menopausal killjoys
with an attitude problem?</i>

240
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,520
<i>I doubt it love.</i>

241
00:11:09,521 --> 00:11:11,519
<i>They'd have burned you as a witch.</i>

242
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,640
<i>Or just for a bit of peace and quiet.</i>

243
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,799
<i>She will eat those words.</i>

244
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,359
<i>Of course she will, Moira.</i>

245
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,920
<i>Of course she will.</i>

246
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,360
<i>Leave me be.</i>

247
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,079
<i>I heard the man on the coach behind us</i>

248
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,239
<i>say he was a doctor.</i>

249
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,359
<i>I love a doctor.</i>

250
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,079
<i>Snap your legs back together, Mildred.</i>

251
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,719
<i>It's a coach trip, not Love Island.</i>

252
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:39,999
<i>The doctor?</i>

253
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,999
<i>He's my brother.</i>

254
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,199
<i>At least I think he is.</i>

255
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,519
<i>Ladies, you'll have to forgive Kevin,</i>

256
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,239
<i>he, uh, had a knock on the head,</i>

257
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,879
<i>and he has some memory problems.</i>

258
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,559
<i>- Do I?
- Mm-hmm.</i>

259
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,679
<i>Oh, that would explain a lot.</i>

260
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,039
<i>Aah!</i>

261
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,839
<i>My Derek had that.</i>

262
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,039
<i>Very forgetful.</i>

263
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,239
<i>But only when it came to
birthdays, anniversaries,</i>

264
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,880
<i>and not sleeping with my sister.</i>

265
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,920
<i>That's... fascinating.</i>

266
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,439
<i>Graham, isn't it?</i>

267
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,119
<i>Hi, I'm Gemma.</i>

268
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,639
<i>Sorry we didn't get to meet on the coach.</i>

269
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,079
<i>Shall I put your bag back
in the holdall for you?</i>

270
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,400
<i>Leave the bag!</i>

271
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,160
<i>I'll leave it there.</i>

272
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:34,240
<i>Graham.</i>

273
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,599
<i>Do you not want to come and
look at the first murder site?</i>

274
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:41,279
<i>It's what you've paid for.</i>

275
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,200
<i>I'd hate for you to miss out</i>

276
00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:44,439
<i>and then see what you're like
when you've got a grievance.</i>

277
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,520
<i>No, I'll just sit here.</i>

278
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,440
<i>Calms me down.</i>

279
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,800
<i>Gives me a sense of purpose.</i>

280
00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:01,200
<i>It's like I can hear God
telling me what to do next.</i>

281
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,480
<i>Lovely.</i>

282
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,760
<i>Right, well me might just, uh, go.</i>

283
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,280
<i>You know, away.</i>

284
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:19,600
<i>Murder!</i>

285
00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:23,319
<i>And I'm out.</i>

286
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,279
<i>If you need me, I'll be smoking outside.</i>

287
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,439
<i>With any luck, I'll set myself on fire.</i>

288
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,000
<i>Here, in this very cathedral,</i>

289
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,520
<i>I came up with the idea
of a murder so foul,</i>

290
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,200
<i>so horrid, that it
would leap from the page</i>

291
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,719
<i>of one of my most popular books.</i>

292
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,720
<i>Take in the heavy silence, as I did,</i>

293
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,480
<i>let it fill your soul.</i>

294
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,480
<i>Take a breath.</i>

295
00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,800
<i>Let nothing distract you.</i>

296
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,720
<i>Number withheld.</i>

297
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,039
<i>Ah, it must be Hollywood.</i>

298
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,040
<i>Ooh!</i>

299
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,719
<i>Could you hold for just a second?</i>

300
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:21,640
<i>Have a look around,</i>

301
00:14:21,641 --> 00:14:24,239
<i>mine wasn't the only crime committed here.</i>

302
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,599
<i>Just there in the cloisters,</i>

303
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:29,159
<i>six monks were beheaded by barbarians.</i>

304
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,160
<i>Sorry...</i>

305
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,119
<i>So, let's meet back here
in 20 minutes, shall we?</i>

306
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,599
<i>Come on girls, cameras out.</i>

307
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,279
<i>Dead monk selfie.</i>

308
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,280
<i>Oh, yes!</i>

309
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,640
<i>Right.</i>

310
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,480
<i>Ooh!</i>

311
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,719
<i>This is nice.</i>

312
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,159
<i>Takes me back to our wedding day, Grace.</i>

313
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,000
<i>You were so beautiful.</i>

314
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,079
<i>As beautiful as that blonde girl</i>

315
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,319
<i>helping the woman in the wheelchair?</i>

316
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,999
<i>I saw you taking pictures
of her with your phone.</i>

317
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,599
<i>Delete them, George, it's creepy.</i>

318
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,119
<i>I've done no such thing,
that's an awful thing</i>

319
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,519
<i>to accuse someone of.</i>

320
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:07,400
<i>George, now please.</i>

321
00:15:07,401 --> 00:15:10,600
<i>Yes dear, sorry, won't happen again.</i>

322
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:25,520
<i>Oh!</i>

323
00:15:25,521 --> 00:15:28,199
<i>Bloody hell, love, don't
be lurking round corners.</i>

324
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,439
<i>I'm looking for the lavatory,</i>

325
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,199
<i>and I'd prefer not to have a false start.</i>

326
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,839
<i>Ooh, nice Tupperware.</i>

327
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,760
<i>It's a lifesaver, isn't it?</i>

328
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,520
<i>You, uh, left your phone on the coach.</i>

329
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,559
<i>It had a missed call on it.</i>

330
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:03,480
<i>From someone cryptically saved
as "Bailiffs, Don't Answer."</i>

331
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,679
<i>Guess I'm not getting
paid this month, am I?</i>

332
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:10,879
<i>As soon as this trip is over,</i>

333
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:13,320
<i>we're in the clear, trust me.</i>

334
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,439
<i>Let's just enjoy this place for a bit, eh?</i>

335
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,719
<i>It's so peaceful, isn't it.</i>

336
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,399
<i>Over here,</i>

337
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,960
<i>come and see where the killing took place.</i>

338
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,639
<i>So, here we are, at the site
of my very first murder,</i>

339
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,199
<i>in my very first book.</i>

340
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,959
<i>"I Just Died in Your Psalms Tonight."</i>

341
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:43,280
<i>But who do we discover
behind this very vestry door,</i>

342
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:49,279
<i>slumped in a chair, with
the life choked out of her?</i>

343
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,519
<i>Lady Tuestock, after her torrid affair</i>

344
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,879
<i>with Astrid the bisexual chambermaid.</i>

345
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,239
<i>Yes, very good, Grace.</i>

346
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,440
<i>Lady Tuestock.</i>

347
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,799
<i>Having been throttled,</i>

348
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:06,320
<i>using the sound of the church
bells to hide the crime.</i>

349
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:23,680
<i>And, as each bell tolled,
so the life slipped further</i>

350
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,880
<i>from the body of the lady of the manor.</i>

351
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,119
<i>And everybody had gathered-</i>

352
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,479
<i>Where's Marj?</i>

353
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,559
<i>She's gone off on her own.</i>

354
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,759
<i>She does that sometimes.</i>

355
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,879
<i>She had a difficult
birth with her third son,</i>

356
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:40,880
<i>and it's ruined her-</i>

357
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,079
<i>The doctor said he came out diagonally,</i>

358
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,680
<i>and on his way out he got caught on-</i>

359
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,359
<i>The doctor patched her up, by
now the plumbing's all wrong,</i>

360
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,480
<i>so every time she picks up
something heavy, she tends to-</i>

361
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,719
<i>Oh, it's awful.</i>

362
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,200
<i>She had to redo her kitchen because of it.</i>

363
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,159
<i>Well that's that cleared up, then.</i>

364
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,119
<i>And the parishioner screamed with horror</i>

365
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,279
<i>when they pushed open this door,</i>

366
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,519
<i>and they knew bedevilment was afoot.</i>

367
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,440
<i>They had a murderer in their midst.</i>

368
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,080
<i>Argh!</i>

369
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,359
<i>Now Mildred,
Marj wouldn't want tears.</i>

370
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,519
<i>You know how she hated emotion.</i>

371
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,680
<i>Sorry Peggy.</i>

372
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:37,040
<i>Oh Marj, if you can hear me,
I think you've died, love.</i>

373
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,879
<i>Do you know what killed her?</i>

374
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,719
<i>Classic heart attack I'm afraid.</i>

375
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,279
<i>The discoloration of the face-</i>

376
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,679
<i>No, she's always been
quite a sallow woman.</i>

377
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,359
<i>If anything, she looked the healthiest</i>

378
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,519
<i>she's looked in years.</i>

379
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,599
<i>Apart from the breathing, obviously.</i>

380
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:55,599
<i>Well, a, a sudden flush
post mortem isn't unusual.</i>

381
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,199
<i>The blood rushes to the face,</i>

382
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,440
<i>especially after the heart has stopped.</i>

383
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,799
<i>No heart attack.</i>

384
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,319
<i>Asphyxiation.</i>

385
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,479
<i>Proper choked as well.</i>

386
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,799
<i>They were lodged right in there.</i>

387
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,040
<i>She always was a cobbler.</i>

388
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,480
<i>Looks like a bap.</i>

389
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,519
<i>Coronation chicken.</i>

390
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,039
<i>Which is weird, because
that's what I was gonna have</i>

391
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,279
<i>for my lunch.</i>

392
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,760
<i>Although, not now.</i>

393
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,120
<i>I don't think these people are interested</i>

394
00:19:21,121 --> 00:19:22,719
<i>in what you're having for lunch, Phil.</i>

395
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,479
<i>Right, sorry.</i>

396
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,759
<i>Bye Marj.</i>

397
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,399
<i>If you see the others, tell
them we'll see them soon, eh?</i>

398
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:33,039
<i>And I know you stole my brown shoes, Marj.</i>

399
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,040
<i>I know it.</i>

400
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,159
<i>Such a shame.</i>

401
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,479
<i>So full of life.</i>

402
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,480
<i>Shut up.</i>

403
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,759
<i>I lit a candle for Marjory.</i>

404
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,079
<i>Oh, thank you.</i>

405
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,480
<i>That'll be a pound, please.</i>

406
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,279
<i>So I suppose in the name of good taste,</i>

407
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,799
<i>that's the tour cancelled then?</i>

408
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,039
<i>It's very sad, when we lose a life,</i>

409
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:59,039
<i>but, uh, we will of course
be getting a full refund.</i>

410
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,559
<i>Refunds?</i>

411
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,959
<i>Grace, darling, our hearts are sad,</i>

412
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,319
<i>and there is only one cure for sadness.</i>

413
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,320
<i>Time.</i>

414
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,999
<i>We should reschedule
for later in the year.</i>

415
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,399
<i>Not time.</i>

416
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,400
<i>Fun.</i>

417
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:15,760
<i>So if we can,</i>

418
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,719
<i>with solemnity,</i>

419
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,040
<i>and due respect,</i>

420
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,560
<i>make our way back to the coach.</i>

421
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,760
<i>Our next exciting destination awaits us.</i>

422
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,279
<i>Come on, girls.</i>

423
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,559
<i>If you want me to organise
transport back to the home,</i>

424
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,199
<i>then it's on me.</i>

425
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,279
<i>I know what David said back there,</i>

426
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,079
<i>but I'll sort your refunds in the morning.</i>

427
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,080
<i>Refunds?</i>

428
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:53,479
<i>Transport?</i>

429
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,079
<i>No, thank you.</i>

430
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,639
<i>We're on the run.</i>

431
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,159
<i>On the run?</i>

432
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,120
<i>From who?</i>

433
00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:00,599
<i>From the home.</i>

434
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,919
<i>We broke out.</i>

435
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,079
<i>We're absconding.</i>

436
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,479
<i>Like Thelma and Louise.</i>

437
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,479
<i>We were two Thelma's and a Louise,</i>

438
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:13,480
<i>but one of the Thelma's just
got taken away in a body bag.</i>

439
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,839
<i>There's guidelines we have to follow.</i>

440
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:20,119
<i>Please, let us finish the trip, for Marj.</i>

441
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,279
<i>Well they are only guidelines.</i>

442
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,280
<i>Oh!</i>

443
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,519
<i>Get off.</i>

444
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,520
<i>Go on.</i>

445
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,879
<i>We are now people smugglers.</i>

446
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,599
<i>Old people smugglers.</i>

447
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,079
<i>Oh, call the police!</i>

448
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,959
<i>I might have to.</i>

449
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,679
<i>Woman in a book gets throttled,</i>

450
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,079
<i>then woman on a book tour chokes.</i>

451
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,119
<i>Yeah, my murder mystery tour is that good,</i>

452
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,519
<i>we have actual murders on it.</i>

453
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,440
<i>Get a hold of yourself.</i>

454
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,439
<i>I'd better had.</i>

455
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,839
<i>Before somebody else gets a hold of me.</i>

456
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,400
<i>Come back, Joanna,
lovely, all is forgiven.</i>

457
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,599
<i>Right, we've all had a shock.</i>

458
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,279
<i>And our hearts go out
to Mildred and Peggy,</i>

459
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,039
<i>for the loss of their friend.</i>

460
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,519
<i>But as is the British way,</i>

461
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,759
<i>we're gonna get our heads down, crack on,</i>

462
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,079
<i>and finish the tour.</i>

463
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,080
<i>Yay!</i>

464
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,840
<i>Too soon?</i>

465
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,280
<i>Okay.</i>

466
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,159
<i>But if anyone doesn't want
to continue with the tour,</i>

467
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,440
<i>just let me know now.</i>

468
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:25,000
<i>Right, we can't have this
atmosphere the whole way.</i>

469
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,240
<i>Attention everyone.</i>

470
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,399
<i>We'll be at Gorge by lunchtime.</i>

471
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,959
<i>I think we should address what's happened.</i>

472
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,519
<i>Sadly, Marj is no longer with us.</i>

473
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,520
<i>Sadly.</i>

474
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,800
<i>You watch your mouth, or I'll cut you up.</i>

475
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,519
<i>I've got a fruit knife on this keyring.</i>

476
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:53,279
<i>And so, as this trip was one
of great importance to her,</i>

477
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,559
<i>something she wanted
to do before she died-</i>

478
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,999
<i>I feel it appropriate that
I, her favourite author,</i>

479
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,159
<i>should lead us all in a prayer.</i>

480
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,399
<i>Or perhaps, or perhaps
we could lift our spirits</i>

481
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,239
<i>with a good old fashioned sing song, eh?</i>

482
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,959
<i>♪ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♪</i>

483
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,919
<i>♪ 99 bottles of beer ♪</i>

484
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,719
<i>♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪</i>

485
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,719
<i>♪ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♪</i>

486
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,520
<i>98 bottles-</i>

487
00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:16,639
<i>George, no!</i>

488
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,399
<i>♪ 98 bottles of beer ♪</i>

489
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,199
<i>♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪</i>

490
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,159
<i>♪ 98 bottles of beer on the wall ♪</i>

491
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,159
<i>♪ 97 bottles of beer on the wall ♪</i>

492
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,719
<i>Come on everyone!</i>

493
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,439
<i>♪ 43 bottles of beer on the wall ♪</i>

494
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,279
<i>♪ 43 bottles of beer ♪</i>

495
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,599
<i>♪ Take one down, pass it around ♪</i>

496
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,279
<i>♪ Ee-eye ee-eye oh ♪</i>

497
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,279
<i>♪ With a neigh here, and a neigh there ♪</i>

498
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:36,240
<i>♪ Here a neigh, there a neigh ♪</i>

499
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,240
<i>♪ Everywhere a neigh ♪</i>

500
00:24:37,241 --> 00:24:39,239
<i>♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪</i>

501
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,359
<i>♪ Here a moo, there a moo ♪</i>

502
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,200
<i>♪ Everywhere a moo, moo ♪</i>

503
00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:43,079
<i>♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪</i>

504
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:48,080
<i>♪ Ee-eye ee-eye oh ♪</i>

505
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,919
<i>♪ She'll be coming round the
mountain when she comes ♪</i>

506
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:53,720
<i>♪ Yee-haw ♪</i>

507
00:24:53,721 --> 00:24:56,359
<i>♪ She'll be coming round the
mountain when she comes ♪</i>

508
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,200
<i>Right, we're here.</i>

509
00:24:57,201 --> 00:24:59,839
<i>Come on, everybody up.</i>

510
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,519
<i>Well, at least if this doesn't work out,</i>

511
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:05,600
<i>you know you can always
call X Factor, can't you?</i>

512
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:10,559
<i>Oh, no. Kevin?</i>

513
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:14,279
<i>I decided to use this place of beauty</i>

514
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,760
<i>and it's fabulously high gorge</i>

515
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,599
<i>in my second novel,</i>

516
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:24,239
<i>"Push Comes to Shove Comes to Bloodshed."</i>

517
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,319
<i>Shall we get to the gorge?</i>

518
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:26,599
<i>I'd like to take a picture of myself</i>

519
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,559
<i>pretending to throw Grace over it,</i>

520
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:29,400
<i>as in the book.</i>

521
00:25:29,401 --> 00:25:32,959
<i>Well let's hope
it's just pretend, eh?</i>

522
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,960
<i>No.</i>

523
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:39,799
<i>The crime took place at
the very top of the ravine,</i>

524
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,279
<i>at the edge of a dramatic precipice,</i>

525
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:45,479
<i>where you are able to pay a nominal fee</i>

526
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,280
<i>for a picture with me.</i>

527
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,439
<i>But feel free to explore the area.</i>

528
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,520
<i>It has some lovely viewing platforms.</i>

529
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,999
<i>Top of the ravine.</i>

530
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:01,439
<i>Walking that with my bunions,
it's a suicide mission.</i>

531
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,719
<i>No thank you, we'll stay in the cafe,</i>

532
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,319
<i>have a little wake for Marj.</i>

533
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,479
<i>Come on.</i>

534
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,599
<i>Look, can we get on please.</i>

535
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,479
<i>I would like to do a painting of the view</i>

536
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,359
<i>to go with my collection.</i>

537
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,839
<i>The light is changing.</i>

538
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,000
<i>Oh, hang on.</i>

539
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,319
<i>The watercolours, they aren't there.</i>

540
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,439
<i>So you forgot to pack them?</i>

541
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,039
<i>You only had two things to do today.</i>

542
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,759
<i>Massage my hernia, and
pack the watercolours.</i>

543
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,119
<i>Yes, Moira, I-I did check
when we were on the coach,</i>

544
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:28,920
<i>but-</i>

545
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:29,760
<i>But nothing.</i>

546
00:26:29,761 --> 00:26:30,879
<i>You've left them on the coach.</i>

547
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,479
<i>Consider this a verbal warning,</i>

548
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,239
<i>and I have witnesses.</i>

549
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,879
<i>Uncomfortable witnesses.</i>

550
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,439
<i>How many is that now?</i>

551
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:38,599
<i>12 Moira.</i>

552
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,039
<i>12 verbal warnings.</i>

553
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,879
<i>Three in front on people, and
nine in front of the cats.</i>

554
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:45,879
<i>Leave her alone.</i>

555
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:46,959
<i>She made a mistake.</i>

556
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,239
<i>Anyone could have a slip
of judgement sometimes.</i>

557
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,160
<i>And before you know it,</i>

558
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,359
<i>anything can happen.</i>

559
00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:57,759
<i>I will talk to my staff
exactly as I please.</i>

560
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,319
<i>Now perhaps if you tried a
little bit harder in life</i>

561
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,519
<i>you would have someone
you could discipline.</i>

562
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,039
<i>Or at least join you on
this trip instead of that</i>

563
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,479
<i>sad looking bag that
you cling to so dearly.</i>

564
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,519
<i>Now return to the coach, and
fetch me my watercolours,</i>

565
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:16,199
<i>and I'll meet you by
the gorge painting spot.</i>

566
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,399
<i>Could you open the coach, please?</i>

567
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:20,400
<i>Are you all right?</i>

568
00:27:20,401 --> 00:27:23,199
<i>Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm all right.</i>

569
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,239
<i>When she's like this, it's
best not to push her too far.</i>

570
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,719
<i>Could you open the coach for me?</i>

571
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:29,999
<i>You'll be all right.</i>

572
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,399
<i>It don't lock, anyway.</i>

573
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:35,199
<i>I mean it, it don't lock with a key.</i>

574
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:36,359
<i>We've got an app.</i>

575
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:37,519
<i>Obviously.</i>

576
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,639
<i>Very high tech, works remotely.</i>

577
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,919
<i>By the time you get there, it'll be open.</i>

578
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,040
<i>I guarantee it.</i>

579
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,120
<i>Oh, back in an hour, everyone.</i>

580
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,119
<i>Oh, thank goodness you're back.</i>

581
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,879
<i>Though it's hardly worth it.</i>

582
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,039
<i>I'm nearly where I need to be anyway.</i>

583
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,679
<i>Just stop me over there.</i>

584
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:17,680
<i>Laura.</i>

585
00:28:17,681 --> 00:28:18,999
<i>Where are you going?</i>

586
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,000
<i>Is that you?</i>

587
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,240
<i>We're too close to the edge.</i>

588
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,439
<i>It was just a sad accident, girls.</i>

589
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:42,440
<i>Or was it?</i>

590
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:46,479
<i>Choking?</i>

591
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,279
<i>Not a way to go.</i>

592
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,279
<i>And on coronation chicken, as well.</i>

593
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:55,159
<i>Ironic, given how much
she hated the queen.</i>

594
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,160
<i>So hang on.</i>

595
00:28:56,161 --> 00:28:57,799
<i>And mind, nothing spicy.</i>

596
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,359
<i>If I'm to follow Terry's only rule,</i>

597
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,719
<i>I'll need something that binds.</i>

598
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,639
<i>So she wouldn't have eaten
it anyway, would she?</i>

599
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,839
<i>So how could she end up choking on it?</i>

600
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,199
<i>What are you thinking?</i>

601
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,199
<i>Ignore him, girls.</i>

602
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,719
<i>Terry's letting his
mind run away with him.</i>

603
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,879
<i>Terry, Marj died because she was old.</i>

604
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,679
<i>And that is what old women do.</i>

605
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,319
<i>Oh, thanks for the reminder, love.</i>

606
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:24,439
<i>So, are you saying Marj was
the victim of foul play?</i>

607
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,119
<i>I'm not saying she wasn't.</i>

608
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:27,319
<i>She wasn't, girls.</i>

609
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:28,679
<i>I promise.</i>

610
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,079
<i>Everything is fine.</i>

611
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,839
<i>Gemma.</i>

612
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,359
<i>Is everything fine?</i>

613
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,240
<i>Yes.</i>

614
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,080
<i>Good.</i>

615
00:29:36,081 --> 00:29:38,119
<i>No, I'm afraid not.</i>

616
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,200
<i>Moira's dead.</i>

617
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,439
<i>Oh, yes. Yes, that.</i>

618
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:43,640
<i>Sorry, um, no.</i>

619
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,840
<i>What's happened?</i>

620
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,479
<i>Such a shame, isn't it?</i>

621
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,039
<i>I know.</i>

622
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,559
<i>They could've used these foil blankets</i>

623
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,519
<i>for people just finishing
a marathon, couldn't they?</i>

624
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,119
<i>She was fine when we last saw her.</i>

625
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,919
<i>Well, I mean, bitching and moaning,</i>

626
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,639
<i>but relatively speaking
she was being a delight.</i>

627
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:14,799
<i>George is right.</i>

628
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:16,879
<i>She only called me a gold digger twice.</i>

629
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,039
<i>So you were the last ones
to see her alive, then?</i>

630
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,279
<i>What are you suggesting?</i>

631
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:21,959
<i>I'm suggesting nothing.</i>

632
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,879
<i>I feel to blame, I...</i>

633
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:24,919
<i>I should have stayed with her.</i>

634
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,479
<i>It's just that Kevin wanted to
see the drop from the gorge,</i>

635
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,999
<i>and I couldn't deny him his moment.</i>

636
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,359
<i>Oh, is there a gorge?</i>

637
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,200
<i>Mm-hmm.</i>

638
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,040
<i>Oh, we should go and see it.</i>

639
00:30:33,041 --> 00:30:34,079
<i>- Yes.
- Yes.</i>

640
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,119
<i>So you can't confirm
your whereabouts either?</i>

641
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,879
<i>Oh, I can't confirm anything.</i>

642
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:39,720
<i>Can I?</i>

643
00:30:39,721 --> 00:30:41,039
<i>- No.
- Yes.</i>

644
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,239
<i>Well I was waiting for George and Grace,</i>

645
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,159
<i>who were supposed to be
having a photo with me</i>

646
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,639
<i>at the eastern most clifftop,</i>

647
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,759
<i>a photo that I feel I must point out</i>

648
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,799
<i>I still haven't been paid for.</i>

649
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:56,800
<i>Well I feel I must point out</i>

650
00:30:56,801 --> 00:31:00,839
<i>that means we don't know
where you were, either.</i>

651
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:01,959
<i>Hello folks.</i>

652
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,280
<i>PC Alec Collins.</i>

653
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,359
<i>Just need to take a few details off you.</i>

654
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,999
<i>So, we're looking for next of kin.</i>

655
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,519
<i>Hands up next of kin.</i>

656
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,239
<i>Well, I'm her emergency contact,</i>

657
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,439
<i>so I suppose it's me.</i>

658
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,439
<i>And you are Miss?</i>

659
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:18,679
<i>Laura Bishop.</i>

660
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:19,999
<i>Did she not have any family?</i>

661
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,879
<i>Well, she had a sister in Blackpool,</i>

662
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,319
<i>but they didn't really
speak, because, you know,</i>

663
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,119
<i>of how Moira was with people.</i>

664
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,799
<i>Yes.</i>

665
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,879
<i>But we were gonna drop by
while we were in Blackpool,</i>

666
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:35,720
<i>so that Moira could have
an argument with her.</i>

667
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,559
<i>Well lord knows how she got
to the top of that hill.</i>

668
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,439
<i>She was very strong.</i>

669
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,719
<i>She did tell us that hills
weren't that much of a problem.</i>

670
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,999
<i>That'll explain it then.</i>

671
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,679
<i>We found a bit of brake
assembly for a wheelchair</i>

672
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,879
<i>at the top of the hill.</i>

673
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,959
<i>It probably failed her
and, uh, off she popped.</i>

674
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:01,400
<i>It seems that our culprit
was our old friend gravity.</i>

675
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,840
<i>Well look, um, I'm sorry miss.</i>

676
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,719
<i>You get on with your trip,
and if we need anything,</i>

677
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,799
<i>we'll just be in touch
with Ms. Draper here.</i>

678
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:12,039
<i>I, I'm sorry for your loss, Miss.</i>

679
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:15,119
<i>Would you like me to organise a lift home?</i>

680
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,759
<i>I don't suppose I've got a home anymore.</i>

681
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,359
<i>I lived with Moira, and she made it clear</i>

682
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,319
<i>that she the moment she
died, I was out the door.</i>

683
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,759
<i>Said I could leave my keys on her coffin</i>

684
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,000
<i>at her funeral.</i>

685
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,719
<i>I suppose I'll just get her things</i>

686
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,960
<i>to her sister in Blackpool.</i>

687
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,439
<i>We'll be there tomorrow, Laura.</i>

688
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,159
<i>If you want to stay with us,
we're happy to take you there.</i>

689
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,519
<i>Oh.</i>

690
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,760
<i>That'd be nice.</i>

691
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:40,919
<i>None of you shout at me,</i>

692
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,560
<i>or, or throw spoons.</i>

693
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,999
<i>Moira used to love throwing spoons at me.</i>

694
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,879
<i>Oh, shush, now.</i>

695
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:53,440
<i>I'll throw the first
spoon I see at you, love.</i>

696
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,599
<i>And that's that, is it?</i>

697
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,039
<i>What's what?</i>

698
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,199
<i>This was our second fatality.</i>

699
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,639
<i>Oh, yes, the old lady who choked.</i>

700
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,599
<i>Bartleby lot haven't done the autopsy yet,</i>

701
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,279
<i>but from the sounds of it,</i>

702
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:13,999
<i>I think you're just having
a run of bad luck, mate.</i>

703
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,839
<i>A run of bad luck?</i>

704
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,159
<i>I'll be driving that thing on
my bloody own, at this rate.</i>

705
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:22,439
<i>We're losing passengers
faster than the Titanic.</i>

706
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,439
<i>I'm telling you, something's a foot.</i>

707
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,440
<i>Oh...</i>

708
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,720
<i>It's a foot, is it?</i>

709
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,319
<i>Shall I phone into headquarters?</i>

710
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:32,479
<i>"Hello, Chief Inspector.</i>

711
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,119
<i>Some shabby little coach
driver thinks he's Miss Marple.</i>

712
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,279
<i>Can you send me a foot squad down?"</i>

713
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,919
<i>All I'm saying is,</i>

714
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,119
<i>maybe you can have a nose around.</i>

715
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,559
<i>Investigate.</i>

716
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,919
<i>Try doing some actual police work.</i>

717
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,479
<i>Well I could start by giving your coach</i>

718
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,319
<i>the once over, if you like.</i>

719
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,199
<i>See how many violations you
can wrack up in one sitting.</i>

720
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,959
<i>There's nothing wrong with my coach.</i>

721
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,279
<i>Really?</i>

722
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,519
<i>If I so much as waved an MOT at it,</i>

723
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,239
<i>it'd burst into tears and beg for mercy.</i>

724
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,040
<i>Now go on, bugger off.</i>

725
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,399
<i>Yeah?</i>

726
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,639
<i>Well for your information,
the MOT on that coach is...</i>

727
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:12,640
<i>Pending.</i>

728
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:27,279
<i>Terry.</i>

729
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:28,839
<i>I think you might be right.</i>

730
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:30,679
<i>This is getting weird, isn't it?</i>

731
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,199
<i>♪ Amazing grace ♪</i>

732
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:38,039
<i>♪ How sweet the sound ♪</i>

733
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,079
<i>- It is now.
- ♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪</i>

734
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,519
<i>Oh well, it's a sing
song of sorts, I suppose.</i>

735
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,359
<i>Let's get going, shall we?</i>

736
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:49,999
<i>Don't worry.</i>

737
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,439
<i>I know two dead passengers is unusual.</i>

738
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:53,999
<i>But I'll keep an eye out.</i>

739
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,319
<i>Trust me.</i>

740
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,080
<i>Nothing gets past me.</i>

741
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:04,840
<i>♪ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound ♪</i>

742
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,360
<i>♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪</i>

743
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:28,159
<i>And welcome to Clesperley
Manor, our luxury hotel.</i>

744
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:32,879
<i>As long as you don't look
to closely on Trip Advisor.</i>

745
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:34,959
<i>We asked for a superior room.</i>

746
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:35,880
<i>Does it matter?</i>

747
00:35:35,881 --> 00:35:37,040
<i>Yes it does.</i>

748
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:44,599
<i>And please, please, please, Miss...</i>

749
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:46,200
<i>Nobody go anywhere.</i>

750
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,599
<i>It's a lovely summer's evening.</i>

751
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,279
<i>Let's gather for a drink</i>

752
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:55,639
<i>before tonight's murder
mystery dinner begins.</i>

753
00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:00,159
<i>A unique event, where each of
you will dress as a murderer</i>

754
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:01,999
<i>from one of my novels.</i>

755
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,480
<i>Costumes provided.</i>

756
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,879
<i>A league of villains, but who,</i>

757
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,799
<i>who is the cruellest killer of them all?</i>

758
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,719
<i>It's, um, it's quite poor taste, isn't it,</i>

759
00:36:13,720 --> 00:36:16,359
<i>given everything that's happened?</i>

760
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,839
<i>Oh dear, has, has something happened?</i>

761
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,399
<i>Um, I agree it's poor taste,
but David did point out</i>

762
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,879
<i>that it is in his contract
with Draper's Literary Tours</i>

763
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:27,200
<i>that we do this.</i>

764
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,479
<i>As long as my costume comes
with a bullet proof vest</i>

765
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:31,559
<i>I'm happy.</i>

766
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,999
<i>We've had a rough day.</i>

767
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,599
<i>I'd be the first to admit that.</i>

768
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,559
<i>But let's remember why we're here.</i>

769
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:42,279
<i>To celebrate my literature.</i>

770
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,519
<i>And isn't that the best
way to take our minds off</i>

771
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,639
<i>today's unfortunate accidents.</i>

772
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:49,879
<i>Even though those accidents happened</i>

773
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,679
<i>in all the same places that
are referenced in your books?</i>

774
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,559
<i>It's like celebrating
D-Day with a beach party.</i>

775
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:58,079
<i>It could be fun?</i>

776
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,599
<i>Indeed, Grace.</i>

777
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,159
<i>And in the light of today's troubles,</i>

778
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,839
<i>I'm going to do all this at reduced cost.</i>

779
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:07,639
<i>Heart of gold, this one.</i>

780
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,160
<i>Bob Geldof has got competition.</i>

781
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,239
<i>Ah, is that axe the
inspiration for the beheading</i>

782
00:37:13,240 --> 00:37:15,839
<i>in "Axe Me No Questions,
I'll Tell You Who Dies"?</i>

783
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:16,720
<i>Yes.</i>

784
00:37:16,721 --> 00:37:18,480
<i>Laura, well sleuthed.</i>

785
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,839
<i>I didn't know you were a
fan as well as poor Moira.</i>

786
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,159
<i>Oh, yeah, yeah, I know them inside out.</i>

787
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:29,359
<i>She, she used to make me read them to her.</i>

788
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,559
<i>Said I had the voice of
a soothing pit woman.</i>

789
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,159
<i>Ah.</i>

790
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:38,160
<i>So, to your rooms, we shall
reconvene in the piano bar.</i>

791
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:43,039
<i>And no hanky panky when
you're all dressed up.</i>

792
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,279
<i>These costumes have to go back on Monday,</i>

793
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,760
<i>and there is a soiling charge.</i>

794
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:53,560
<i>Lovely.</i>

795
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,959
<i>It's a Gold Boots Advantage Card.</i>

796
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:02,079
<i>They don't just give these to anybody.</i>

797
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,679
<i>Do you have any idea how
many 3 for 2s I had to buy</i>

798
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,199
<i>to get this?</i>

799
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,679
<i>I've got enough Pantene
to last the apocalypse.</i>

800
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,159
<i>Remarkable.</i>

801
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:12,120
<i>Really?</i>

802
00:38:12,121 --> 00:38:15,279
<i>Oh, I know who you're dressed as, Doc.</i>

803
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,599
<i>You're the killer conman
who pretends to be a doctor</i>

804
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,639
<i>from "A Murder in Hand is
Worth Two in the Grave".</i>

805
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:23,839
<i>Sound familiar?</i>

806
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,919
<i>Well, I mean, I...</i>

807
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,159
<i>And I am either a
motorbiker, or a gay man.</i>

808
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,319
<i>Or both.</i>

809
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,519
<i>Nobody draw attention to Mildred.</i>

810
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,880
<i>She's worryingly on display.</i>

811
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,359
<i>Right, I think you're done.</i>

812
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,439
<i>Just don't turn around
without telling me first,</i>

813
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,680
<i>or we might have to redo your coverage.</i>

814
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:51,079
<i>There you go.</i>

815
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,399
<i>- Thank you.
- Guinness.</i>

816
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,199
<i>Even asked them to put
a shamrock on top of it.</i>

817
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,799
<i>Well I asked for a shamrock.</i>

818
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,960
<i>That's looking more like Donald Trump.</i>

819
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,039
<i>Look, could you do me another favour?</i>

820
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:07,279
<i>Yeah.</i>

821
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:08,280
<i>Anything.</i>

822
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,360
<i>Name it.</i>

823
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,279
<i>Stop scaring the passengers, eh?</i>

824
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,999
<i>Oh come on.</i>

825
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:16,880
<i>You said yourself you thought</i>

826
00:39:16,881 --> 00:39:19,319
<i>something strange was happening.</i>

827
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,559
<i>Two bodies at the first
two murder locations?</i>

828
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:24,239
<i>Or two accidents and one coach driver</i>

829
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,480
<i>with a rampant imagination.</i>

830
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:31,680
<i>If this falls apart, it's
the end of Draper's Tours.</i>

831
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,599
<i>Look, we'll get through all this.</i>

832
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,799
<i>Complete the tour, pay the bailiffs.</i>

833
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,439
<i>Everything's gonna be fine.</i>

834
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,120
<i>Nobody is in danger.</i>

835
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:51,759
<i>What is it, Mildred?</i>

836
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,119
<i>It's Dave.</i>

837
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,799
<i>He's out there.</i>

838
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,600
<i>Oh goodness.</i>

839
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,039
<i>No, David!</i>

840
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:00,839
<i>Clubbed to death on the patio.</i>

841
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:05,600
<i>Just like in his own book,
"Clubbed To Death on a Patio".</i>

842
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,520
<i>Doc, help him!</i>

843
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,360
<i>I'm afraid he's dead.</i>

844
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,519
<i>'Fraid not.</i>

845
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,239
<i>Great diagnosis, Doc.</i>

846
00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:27,279
<i>Come on, give me a hand
with Lazarus, here.</i>

847
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,239
<i>Yes.</i>

848
00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:30,999
<i>The paparazzi will have a field day</i>

849
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,719
<i>if they see me like this, Gemma.</i>

850
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,559
<i>We're in Yorkshire, David.</i>

851
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,479
<i>Round here they think
paparazzi's a pizza topping.</i>

852
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,280
<i>Go ahead, that's it.</i>

853
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:46,959
<i>Now, steady, into the chair,
slowly, David, slowly.</i>

854
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,479
<i>- Thanks. Thank you.
- There you are.</i>

855
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:54,559
<i>I just went outside to
phone my agent in LA.</i>

856
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:58,080
<i>The next thing I knew, I was on the floor.</i>

857
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,360
<i>And Doc was standing over me.</i>

858
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:07,400
<i>Calling me back from the
dead with his healing hand.</i>

859
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:13,959
<i>You've had a fright, David dear.</i>

860
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,040
<i>Get a whiskey inside you.</i>

861
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:18,959
<i>Is it complementary?</i>

862
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,919
<i>David, give her the four quid.</i>

863
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,519
<i>And where have you been?</i>

864
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,639
<i>Mr. Misery Guts, with
your sad little backpack.</i>

865
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,000
<i>Graham did this.</i>

866
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:33,559
<i>It's obvious, he's the
only one without an alibi.</i>

867
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:34,560
<i>Oh my God!</i>

868
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,719
<i>I bet he was the one that
pushed Moira off that gauge,</i>

869
00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:38,640
<i>as well.</i>

870
00:41:38,641 --> 00:41:40,479
<i>What are you on about?</i>

871
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,799
<i>I was in the cigar room, smoking,</i>

872
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,199
<i>trying to get a moment's
peace away from you.</i>

873
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,440
<i>You shrill, stuck up harpy!</i>

874
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,599
<i>Can we all calm down, please.</i>

875
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,359
<i>Ah, she won't, not when she's like this.</i>

876
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,999
<i>It's like the John Lewis
sale all over again.</i>

877
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,439
<i>Look in his bag.</i>

878
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,040
<i>I bet there's a blood
soaked weapon in there.</i>

879
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,599
<i>Karen!</i>

880
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:09,440
<i>Ooh!</i>

881
00:42:09,441 --> 00:42:11,039
<i>Who do you think Karen is, then?</i>

882
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,159
<i>I'm guessing wife or girlfriend.</i>

883
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:14,199
<i>Yes.</i>

884
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,559
<i>My wife.</i>

885
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:16,640
<i>My dead wife.</i>

886
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,719
<i>My Karen!</i>

887
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,759
<i>Oh, poor thing.</i>

888
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,239
<i>I knew a Karen once.</i>

889
00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:24,520
<i>She's dead too.</i>

890
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,079
<i>She was my wife, and her dying wish</i>

891
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,199
<i>was to go on one of these tours</i>

892
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:31,520
<i>with that nobhead.</i>

893
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,159
<i>Because she loved his books.</i>

894
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,640
<i>I may... have made an error.</i>

895
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,279
<i>Here, here we go, lovely.</i>

896
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:44,039
<i>We'll help you put Karen back in her pot.</i>

897
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:45,040
<i>Thank you.</i>

898
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,999
<i>Did she have kidney stones, dear?</i>

899
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,079
<i>No.</i>

900
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,919
<i>Oh, it's probably just
a dry roasted peanut.</i>

901
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,839
<i>What are we gonna do?</i>

902
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:57,239
<i>Uh, you're the tour guide,</i>

903
00:42:57,240 --> 00:42:59,719
<i>you're supposed to be looking after us.</i>

904
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:01,360
<i>We are under attack.</i>

905
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:04,640
<i>Right.</i>

906
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:07,879
<i>Look, r-right everybody.</i>

907
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,199
<i>We'll, um, right...</i>

908
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,359
<i>Gemma.</i>

909
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:13,679
<i>I'll deal with this.</i>

910
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:17,199
<i>Now, I don't want to panic anyone,</i>

911
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,040
<i>but I think all our lives are in danger.</i>

912
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:21,879
<i>I'm gonna call that copper.</i>

913
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,039
<i>Hopefully he'll take
me seriously this time,</i>

914
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,960
<i>See if that bloody squad
believes me now, yeah?</i>

915
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,319
<i>Just think.</i>

916
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,519
<i>The murderer could be watching us now.</i>

917
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,679
<i>I wish I'd have known
I was being spied on.</i>

918
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,600
<i>I'd have put in my good teeth.</i>

919
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,439
<i>Where have you been?</i>

920
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,479
<i>I've got a group of terrified people here.</i>

921
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,039
<i>And I've been worried about you.</i>

922
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:08,399
<i>I'm sorry.</i>

923
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,839
<i>I got stuck on hold.</i>

924
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,360
<i>Bloody PC Collins.</i>

925
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,400
<i>Right, gather round everyone.</i>

926
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,039
<i>I've finally spoken to
our friendly policeman</i>

927
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,039
<i>who says he's coming taking
statements in the morning.</i>

928
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,479
<i>Because apparently all
we've got is two accidents</i>

929
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,479
<i>and an assault, and that's not classed</i>

930
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,239
<i>as a high priority.</i>

931
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:31,119
<i>If we were Corrie, we'd
be a one hour special.</i>

932
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,080
<i>So what we're gonna do,</i>

933
00:44:32,081 --> 00:44:35,719
<i>until they start taking
me seriously, is this.</i>

934
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:39,559
<i>Gemma and me are gonna walk
all of you to your rooms.</i>

935
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,759
<i>Once you're in there, you lock the door</i>

936
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,119
<i>and you don't let anybody in.</i>

937
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:45,120
<i>Got that?</i>

938
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:47,759
<i>Right.</i>

939
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:48,720
<i>Come on.</i>

940
00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:49,720
<i>Chop chop.</i>

941
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,119
<i>Terry's right.</i>

942
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:53,840
<i>Come on, everyone.</i>

943
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,519
<i>What about the CCTV?</i>

944
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,359
<i>Did that not catch the assailant.</i>

945
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:05,919
<i>Oh yeah, I don't wanna worry you,</i>

946
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,999
<i>but I spoke to reception earlier,</i>

947
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,679
<i>and apparently the wires to the camera</i>

948
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:11,879
<i>were cut a few days ago.</i>

949
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:15,999
<i>Well thank you for the none
worrying bedtime story, Terry.</i>

950
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,559
<i>This is us.</i>

951
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:18,999
<i>Goodnight everyone.</i>

952
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,399
<i>Goodnight.</i>

953
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:24,439
<i>And, uh, Graham, once
again I'm, I'm very sorry.</i>

954
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,359
<i>I can imagine you are.</i>

955
00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,279
<i>Oh, I'd take her apology, Graham.</i>

956
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:29,599
<i>They don't come very often.</i>

957
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:31,439
<i>She once broke my mother's nose.</i>

958
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,319
<i>I've still not seen a scrap of remorse.</i>

959
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:36,359
<i>Oh, George, that was a
hairline fracture at most.</i>

960
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:37,200
<i>Laura.</i>

961
00:45:37,201 --> 00:45:38,599
<i>If you don't want to be alone tonight,</i>

962
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,079
<i>we're more than happy for you
to come in and share with us.</i>

963
00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,599
<i>George, this is why that woman from HR</i>

964
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,119
<i>had to have a word with you at work.</i>

965
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,800
<i>- Stop it.
- Yes dear.</i>

966
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,959
<i>Goodnight everyone.</i>

967
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,399
<i>Kevin and I will be here.</i>

968
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,759
<i>If you ladies need anything, just holler.</i>

969
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:56,999
<i>I'm a very light sleeper.</i>

970
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,600
<i>I have literally no idea what's going on.</i>

971
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,119
<i>Right, well, this is me.</i>

972
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,919
<i>Would you like on of us to
sleep in with you, Laura?</i>

973
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,559
<i>Oh, no, I'll be all right.</i>

974
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,040
<i>Sleep well, girls.</i>

975
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:19,039
<i>Oh, and Gemma dear, if
we die in the night,</i>

976
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,559
<i>I'd just like to say this
is the best adventure</i>

977
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:22,800
<i>we've ever had.</i>

978
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:29,919
<i>Goodnight girls.</i>

979
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:31,160
<i>Night, night.</i>

980
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:36,200
<i>Right.</i>

981
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,160
<i>So, do you wanna come in?</i>

982
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:42,760
<i>Oh...</i>

983
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:45,800
<i>Yeah.</i>

984
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,479
<i>Suppose I can have a check around.</i>

985
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:02,799
<i>And have one sleep in
my bunk on the coach.</i>

986
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,479
<i>Don't suppose the murderer
will brave getting in there.</i>

987
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:07,879
<i>I've got a fortnight's
worth of dirty undercrackers</i>

988
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:10,440
<i>kicking around on it somewhere.</i>

989
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:13,240
<i>Oh.</i>

990
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:16,759
<i>I'm, I'm so sorry.</i>

991
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,839
<i>Oh, God, I've just read this all wrong.</i>

992
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:20,199
<i>It's just that when you
took charge tonight,</i>

993
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,119
<i>I saw you in a totally different light.</i>

994
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,199
<i>No, no, it's just-</i>

995
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,599
<i>And, and I know we work together, and, oh,</i>

996
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:26,759
<i>maybe I've read the signals wrong,</i>

997
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,159
<i>but I thought you liked me.</i>

998
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,159
<i>And I just saw you as some
sort of aimless loser.</i>

999
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:32,080
<i>Thanks.</i>

1000
00:47:32,081 --> 00:47:35,159
<i>Like the last person on Earth
I'd ever be attracted to.</i>

1001
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,599
<i>Don't spare my feelings.</i>

1002
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,239
<i>I mean, I need someone
who knows what they want</i>

1003
00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:39,439
<i>and goes for it, you know,</i>

1004
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,439
<i>and I guess I saw that in you earlier.</i>

1005
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,440
<i>I do know what I want.</i>

1006
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:47,199
<i>I've been sitting next to it on my coach</i>

1007
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,120
<i>for the past six years.</i>

1008
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,879
<i>And if some nutter thinks
he's taking that away from me,</i>

1009
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,479
<i>he's got another thing coming.</i>

1010
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:56,999
<i>He can kill my passengers-</i>

1011
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,959
<i>I'd, I'd really prefer it if he didn't.</i>

1012
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,319
<i>But he'll have to get through me first</i>

1013
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,319
<i>if he wants to get anywhere near you.</i>

1014
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:04,879
<i>Are-are we doing it now?</i>

1015
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,120
<i>Are we kissing?</i>

1016
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:07,920
<i>Yeah.</i>

1017
00:48:07,921 --> 00:48:09,359
<i>Okay.</i>

1018
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:10,759
<i>Good.</i>

1019
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:11,760
<i>Begin.</i>

1020
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,999
<i>♪ When the day is done ♪</i>

1021
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:48,799
<i>♪ Down to the earth then sinks the sun ♪</i>

1022
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,839
<i>♪ Along with everything
that was lost and won ♪</i>

1023
00:48:52,840 --> 00:49:00,319
<i>♪ When the day is done ♪</i>

1024
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:04,519
<i>♪ Hope so much your race will be run ♪</i>

1025
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,999
<i>♪ Then you find you jumped the gun ♪</i>

1026
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,679
<i>♪ Have to go back where you begun ♪</i>

1027
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:14,639
<i>♪ When the day is done ♪</i>

1028
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,679
<i>♪ When the night is come ♪</i>

1029
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:21,559
<i>♪ Some get by but some get old ♪</i>

1030
00:49:21,560 --> 00:49:25,519
<i>♪ Just to show life's not made of gold ♪</i>

1031
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:29,479
<i>♪ When the night is cold ♪</i>

1032
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:33,319
<i>♪ When the bird has flown ♪</i>

1033
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:37,159
<i>♪ Got no-one to call your own ♪</i>

1034
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:40,919
<i>♪ No place to call your home ♪</i>

1035
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:44,400
<i>♪ When the bird has flown ♪</i>

1036
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,799
<i>Oh hello.</i>

1037
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:07,879
<i>I see you couldn't sleep either, then?</i>

1038
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:11,079
<i>Do you know, I was sure we
were supposed to stay in bed.</i>

1039
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:14,319
<i>Something in the back of my mind...</i>

1040
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,359
<i>Buggered if I can remember what it was.</i>

1041
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:19,399
<i>Yes, I know what you're thinking.</i>

1042
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:20,799
<i>Bad habit.</i>

1043
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,360
<i>They'll kill me in the end, won't they?</i>

1044
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:25,480
<i>Oh.</i>

1045
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:30,359
<i>That's why I was supposed to stay in bed.</i>

1046
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,479
<i>Okay.</i>

1047
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:35,720
<i>Would you mind if I just
smoked one last cigarette?</i>

1048
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:52,999
<i>Hi.</i>

1049
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,000
<i>Hey.</i>

1050
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:56,799
<i>How long have you been awake?</i>

1051
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:58,839
<i>About an hour.</i>

1052
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,199
<i>Just been lying here.</i>

1053
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,279
<i>Staring at you.</i>

1054
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:06,759
<i>And occasionally wiping
dribble off your bottom lip.</i>

1055
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:09,039
<i>Romantic and creepy.</i>

1056
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:10,040
<i>Well done.</i>

1057
00:51:10,041 --> 00:51:12,559
<i>Well, you're a dribbler.</i>

1058
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:16,519
<i>Never would've expected it
from such a dainty wee lady.</i>

1059
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:20,079
<i>Well that's rich coming from
such an apologetic lover.</i>

1060
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,160
<i>Well, you know, you look like that.</i>

1061
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:27,160
<i>And I look like...</i>

1062
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:35,479
<i>Come on then.</i>

1063
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:36,919
<i>Round two.</i>

1064
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:40,200
<i>And unapologetically this time, please.</i>

1065
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,039
<i>Oh, for...</i>

1066
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:45,399
<i>Who is it?</i>

1067
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,359
<i>It's Doc.</i>

1068
00:51:47,360 --> 00:51:49,359
<i>Is everything all right?</i>

1069
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,200
<i>Not quite.</i>

1070
00:51:50,201 --> 00:51:52,800
<i>I, um, well I can't find Kevin.</i>

1071
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:57,799
<i>If he's alive, I'll kill him myself.</i>

1072
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,119
<i>- Kevin?
- Kevin?</i>

1073
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:01,360
<i>Yoo hoo, Kevin?</i>

1074
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:03,840
<i>Kevin?</i>

1075
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:06,040
<i>Kevin?</i>

1076
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,959
<i>Ooh, you've got a glow on you, Gemma.</i>

1077
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:12,119
<i>Thanks Mildred.</i>

1078
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:14,999
<i>You've had the unmentionable, haven't you?</i>

1079
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,399
<i>Kevin?</i>

1080
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:19,319
<i>It's years since I had the unmentionable.</i>

1081
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:22,679
<i>When I get excited,
I'm a bit of a grabber.</i>

1082
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,879
<i>Puts a lot of men off.</i>

1083
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:25,880
<i>Kevin!</i>

1084
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:32,199
<i>Kevin's come away at the neck.</i>

1085
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:33,599
<i>Oh my god!</i>

1086
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:34,959
<i>Who would do this?</i>

1087
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:36,599
<i>This is no accident.</i>

1088
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,760
<i>Heads don't just fall off.</i>

1089
00:52:41,240 --> 00:52:42,240
<i>Kevin!</i>

1090
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:47,040
<i>Kevin!</i>

1091
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:51,119
<i>Call a doctor.</i>

1092
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:52,759
<i>I thought you were a doctor.</i>

1093
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:56,479
<i>Of course I'm not a sodding
doctor, you stupid woman.</i>

1094
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:58,920
<i>But please, somebody call an ambulance.</i>

1095
00:53:04,720 --> 00:53:07,239
<i>I think an ambulance
might be a bit optimistic.</i>

1096
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:09,439
<i>George, call the police.</i>

1097
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:11,279
<i>Not a doctor?</i>

1098
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:12,280
<i>No.</i>

1099
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:14,760
<i>And, uh...</i>

1100
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,880
<i>Kevin is... he's not my brother.</i>

1101
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,279
<i>You see, years ago, I was a conman,</i>

1102
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:27,319
<i>defrauding ladies like
Mildred and Peggy here.</i>

1103
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,559
<i>I just finished a job,</i>

1104
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:32,719
<i>and I stepped out into
the road without looking.</i>

1105
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:37,199
<i>And Kevin knocked me away
from an oncoming car,</i>

1106
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,159
<i>and the car hit him.</i>

1107
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:42,039
<i>It was hit and run, just like that.</i>

1108
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:43,639
<i>Did it kill him?</i>

1109
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:44,880
<i>No, he lived.</i>

1110
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:50,319
<i>That's why he was able
to join me on this trip.</i>

1111
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:51,320
<i>I see.</i>

1112
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,879
<i>But he was badly injured,
and before I knew it,</i>

1113
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:59,599
<i>there was an ambulance
there, and then a policeman,</i>

1114
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,919
<i>and... well, I, I panicked.</i>

1115
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,679
<i>I didn't want to give
them my real details.</i>

1116
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:06,839
<i>I, I'd be rumbled, pretty quickly.</i>

1117
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,200
<i>So I said I was his brother.</i>

1118
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:12,279
<i>And then when he woke up in hospital,</i>

1119
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,159
<i>he didn't know who he
was or where he was from.</i>

1120
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:18,240
<i>And the nurses told him I was family.</i>

1121
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:20,800
<i>He believed them.</i>

1122
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,199
<i>I couldn't tell Kevin the truth.</i>

1123
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:27,839
<i>I'm the only thing in his
life that he can cling to.</i>

1124
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:28,840
<i>Could do.</i>

1125
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,239
<i>Could cling to.</i>

1126
00:54:32,240 --> 00:54:33,679
<i>Past tense now.</i>

1127
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,160
<i>Oh, God.</i>

1128
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:37,440
<i>What?</i>

1129
00:54:37,441 --> 00:54:39,199
<i>I am a writer, language is my tool.</i>

1130
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,279
<i>I can't see it used poorly.</i>

1131
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:43,999
<i>Funnily enough, the
only thing he had on him</i>

1132
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,199
<i>at the time of the accident
was one of your books,</i>

1133
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,360
<i>It was signed, "To Kevin."</i>

1134
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,239
<i>Which is why we came.</i>

1135
00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:55,039
<i>A true tragedy.</i>

1136
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:58,880
<i>Just as in my seventh
novel, ironically called</i>

1137
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,840
<i>"The Beheading of the Fool".</i>

1138
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,040
<i>Shut up, you.</i>

1139
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,559
<i>We've got someone decapitated here.</i>

1140
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:10,799
<i>And not the someone I might
have preferred it being.</i>

1141
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,599
<i>What are we going to do?</i>

1142
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,239
<i>He could be anywhere, this murderer.</i>

1143
00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:17,799
<i>Police said they'd be
as quick as possible,</i>

1144
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,439
<i>but there's been a sheep
waggon rolled over in Skipton.</i>

1145
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:21,999
<i>Reckon it could be a couple of hours</i>

1146
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:26,039
<i>until the excitement dies
down and they can get to us.</i>

1147
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,919
<i>We could wait for them.</i>

1148
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:31,439
<i>Or, bearing in mind I have been
right about this all along,</i>

1149
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,639
<i>we could handle this ourselves.</i>

1150
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:36,399
<i>Starting with sacking
off the next location.</i>

1151
00:55:36,400 --> 00:55:38,159
<i>The Ozzletwizzle Flask Museum?</i>

1152
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,599
<i>Scene of my seminal classic,</i>

1153
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,639
<i>"Chalice Through the Killing Glass?"</i>

1154
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,080
<i>Shut it, David.</i>

1155
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,119
<i>The killer will be there waiting for us.</i>

1156
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:51,479
<i>I propose instead we go
to the end of the tour.</i>

1157
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,479
<i>The ballroom at Blackpool Tower.</i>

1158
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,039
<i>By the time the murderer has figured out</i>

1159
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:58,039
<i>that we're not coming,
we can be lying in wait.</i>

1160
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,599
<i>Then bang, we catch him.</i>

1161
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:04,799
<i>But what if... the killer is one of us.</i>

1162
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,439
<i>Looking round here,</i>

1163
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:10,199
<i>I don't see a gang of potential murderers.</i>

1164
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,559
<i>I see a group of people that I'm amazed</i>

1165
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,439
<i>can function in modern society.</i>

1166
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,159
<i>There's not a single person
here with the first clue</i>

1167
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,079
<i>about setting something
up this intelligent.</i>

1168
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,759
<i>Oh, thank you for believing in us, Terry.</i>

1169
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,639
<i>Oh, it might be dangerous ladies.</i>

1170
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,599
<i>If he tries to kill us, at
least we'll be in the papers.</i>

1171
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,440
<i>I have no objection.</i>

1172
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:37,999
<i>Karen wanted it all to
end in Blackpool, anyway.</i>

1173
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,119
<i>George, Grace, you can come with us.</i>

1174
00:56:41,120 --> 00:56:43,999
<i>Either that, or you can wait
here for two hours on your own.</i>

1175
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,039
<i>Well, yes, if you put it like that.</i>

1176
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:48,759
<i>Sounds dangerous, Grace, dear.</i>

1177
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:49,560
<i>George.</i>

1178
00:56:49,561 --> 00:56:51,479
<i>We're going to Blackpool
to catch a murderer.</i>

1179
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:52,999
<i>Right then.</i>

1180
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,359
<i>Let's get on the coach
and get out of here.</i>

1181
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:57,199
<i>Grab your bags, now.</i>

1182
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:58,760
<i>Come on, chop chop.</i>

1183
00:57:03,240 --> 00:57:04,719
<i>But make sure you
pay your room service bill</i>

1184
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:05,919
<i>before we leave.</i>

1185
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,720
<i>And grab as many
little shampoos as you can.</i>

1186
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:24,999
<i>Hello, Blackpool police.</i>

1187
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:27,319
<i>What would you like to report?</i>

1188
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:29,160
<i>Murder.</i>

1189
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:37,119
<i>Oh wait, can I just nip
to the loo before we go?</i>

1190
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,359
<i>We haven't got time.</i>

1191
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:39,280
<i>Go on the coach.</i>

1192
00:57:39,281 --> 00:57:42,359
<i>But it'll break your only rule.</i>

1193
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:46,360
<i>Sometimes, love, rules
are meant to be broken.</i>

1194
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:54,879
<i>Go on, Doc.</i>

1195
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:55,840
<i>Just you left, now.</i>

1196
00:57:55,841 --> 00:57:59,519
<i>Well, I think I'll stay
here with Kevin, thank you.</i>

1197
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:01,399
<i>It could be dangerous.</i>

1198
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:03,839
<i>We don't know where the maniac is yet.</i>

1199
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,759
<i>Well then I'll stay and wait for my fate.</i>

1200
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,719
<i>It's no more than I deserve
for the things I've done.</i>

1201
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,399
<i>And maybe it'll slow down the scoundrel</i>

1202
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,039
<i>that's doing all this.</i>

1203
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,679
<i>Give you time to get to Blackpool.</i>

1204
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,119
<i>Kevin loved Blackpool.</i>

1205
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:21,759
<i>Well, he didn't, but I told him he did.</i>

1206
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:22,760
<i>Goodbye.</i>

1207
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:31,959
<i>And drive carefully.</i>

1208
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:33,400
<i>I won't stop you.</i>

1209
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:43,399
<i>Listen, I can't promise you
we'll all get through this.</i>

1210
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:45,039
<i>But I can promise you,</i>

1211
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:48,559
<i>we're gonna find out who's behind it all.</i>

1212
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:50,079
<i>You're really taking the
bull by the horns today,</i>

1213
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:51,319
<i>aren't you?</i>

1214
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:52,320
<i>Yeah.</i>

1215
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:54,040
<i>I am.</i>

1216
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:57,760
<i>Now come on, let's go.</i>

1217
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,599
<i>Right, listen up.</i>

1218
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,239
<i>We're gonna be going like the clappers.</i>

1219
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,439
<i>So you might wanna cling onto each other.</i>

1220
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:12,679
<i>I wouldn't put much
faith in the seatbelts.</i>

1221
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:14,719
<i>They're more for show than anything.</i>

1222
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,480
<i>So, Blackpool, as fast as we can.</i>

1223
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:22,720
<i>♪ Like a bat out of hell ♪</i>

1224
00:59:22,721 --> 00:59:27,079
<i>♪ I'll be gone when the morning comes ♪</i>

1225
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:28,479
<i>♪ But when the night is over ♪</i>

1226
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:32,879
<i>♪ Like a bat out of hell
I'll be gone, gone, gone ♪</i>

1227
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:34,199
<i>♪ Like a bat out of hell ♪</i>

1228
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:38,439
<i>♪ I'll be gone when the morning comes ♪</i>

1229
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:41,599
<i>♪ But when the day is gone
and the sun goes down ♪</i>

1230
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:46,600
<i>♪ And the moonlight's shining through ♪</i>

1231
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:52,080
<i>♪ Then like a sinner before
the gates of Heaven ♪</i>

1232
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,999
<i>♪ I'll come crawling back to you ♪</i>

1233
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:56,799
<i>I told you I'd get us here.</i>

1234
00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:58,839
<i>Mm, I can smell chips.</i>

1235
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:02,399
<i>The four most beautiful words
in the English language.</i>

1236
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:05,239
<i>Hey up, here's the carpark we're after.</i>

1237
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:09,999
<i>I think things are looking
up for us, after all.</i>

1238
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:11,000
<i>Terry!</i>

1239
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:16,920
<i>Police! Open the door!</i>

1240
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:27,199
<i>Anger issues!</i>

1241
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:30,440
<i>Get over there! Get up against there!</i>

1242
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,199
<i>You're under arrest for murder.</i>

1243
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:35,599
<i>I didn't kill anyone?</i>

1244
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:37,319
<i>Thought you'd get away
with it, didn't you?</i>

1245
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:39,079
<i>The old double bluff.</i>

1246
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,239
<i>Pretending to be concerned
about these people dying,</i>

1247
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:43,519
<i>but it was you who was
bumping them off all along.</i>

1248
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:45,799
<i>I haven't bumped anyone off.</i>

1249
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,719
<i>I'm a nice bloke, me, ask anyone.</i>

1250
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,319
<i>Hey, ask Joanna Lumley.</i>

1251
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:50,639
<i>You're coming with us.</i>

1252
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:52,039
<i>And I'll ask you a few
questions about the murder</i>

1253
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:55,960
<i>of Marj Grimshaw, Moira
Colliston, and Kevin...</i>

1254
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:00,479
<i>I don't know his surname yet, but Kevin.</i>

1255
01:01:00,480 --> 01:01:01,639
<i>What's going on?</i>

1256
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,119
<i>Why are you arresting Terry?</i>

1257
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,199
<i>Looks like we may have
found your murderer, ma'am.</i>

1258
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:06,719
<i>Terry, no, he can't be.</i>

1259
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:07,919
<i>I'm afraid so.</i>

1260
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,879
<i>We had a tip-off this morning
from an anonymous source.</i>

1261
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:11,519
<i>Saw him kill Kevin.</i>

1262
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:13,359
<i>It weren't me, Gemma, I promise.</i>

1263
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:14,959
<i>I knew it was him.</i>

1264
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:16,800
<i>Those eyes, too beady.</i>

1265
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:19,280
<i>Like a fat shark.</i>

1266
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:21,879
<i>Take him away lads.</i>

1267
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:23,279
<i>Hang on.</i>

1268
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:24,280
<i>Gem.</i>

1269
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:27,679
<i>You've all had a very lucky escape.</i>

1270
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:29,839
<i>But, uh, we will need you
to come down to the station</i>

1271
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:31,439
<i>and, uh, make some statements.</i>

1272
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,519
<i>Oh, you'll get nothing out of me, copper,</i>

1273
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,119
<i>I'm no grass.</i>

1274
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,879
<i>You'll have to strip search me.</i>

1275
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:40,039
<i>Look, I've done nothing.</i>

1276
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:41,639
<i>For most of my life.</i>

1277
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:43,759
<i>Just ask anyone who knows me.</i>

1278
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:47,679
<i>Our source says they saw
you murder this Kevin bloke.</i>

1279
01:01:47,680 --> 01:01:50,759
<i>That's hardly nothing, is it?</i>

1280
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:54,599
<i>Unless you can prove to me
you were somewhere else.</i>

1281
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:55,959
<i>Gemma.</i>

1282
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:57,119
<i>Ask Gemma.</i>

1283
01:01:57,120 --> 01:02:00,199
<i>I can testify as to his
whereabouts last night.</i>

1284
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:02,199
<i>He was with me.</i>

1285
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:04,319
<i>We slept together.</i>

1286
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:05,879
<i>There you go then.</i>

1287
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:06,880
<i>Alibi.</i>

1288
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:08,879
<i>Afraid not, mate.</i>

1289
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:10,639
<i>And you were awake all night,</i>

1290
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:13,239
<i>so you know exactly where he was?</i>

1291
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:14,519
<i>Well no, when, when I woke up,</i>

1292
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:16,279
<i>he said he'd been awake for about an hour.</i>

1293
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:18,520
<i>Just, watching me, he said.</i>

1294
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:24,959
<i>Oh, no, that doesn't sound good, does it?</i>

1295
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:26,719
<i>She was dribbling.</i>

1296
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:28,120
<i>She's a dribbler.</i>

1297
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:33,159
<i>Come to think of it, I'd
like to see my lawyer, now.</i>

1298
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:34,479
<i>You're in luck.</i>

1299
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,439
<i>He's already here.</i>

1300
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:37,440
<i>What?</i>

1301
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,120
<i>Well, look at this, then.</i>

1302
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:48,279
<i>I'm Gemma's cousin, Barry, by the way,</i>

1303
01:02:48,280 --> 01:02:51,680
<i>and I shall be your legal representative.</i>

1304
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:54,879
<i>Murder.</i>

1305
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,359
<i>A bit different to the
usual speeding tickets I do,</i>

1306
01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:00,080
<i>but, uh, let's get it warmest go.</i>

1307
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:02,919
<i>Let's give it our best go, and that,</i>

1308
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:04,799
<i>that's all we can do, really, isn't it?</i>

1309
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:05,800
<i>Right then.</i>

1310
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,080
<i>Why did you do it?</i>

1311
01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:15,559
<i>I didn't do it.</i>

1312
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,359
<i>Well, I was speaking with PC Collins here,</i>

1313
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,039
<i>and he and I are pretty convinced you did,</i>

1314
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,239
<i>so I think we all find
ourselves in a little bit</i>

1315
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,919
<i>of a pickle, don't we?</i>

1316
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:25,119
<i>Oh yes.</i>

1317
01:03:25,120 --> 01:03:26,120
<i>We do.</i>

1318
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:30,280
<i>Here you go.</i>

1319
01:03:30,281 --> 01:03:32,359
<i>Bit of light reading for your cell.</i>

1320
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:34,520
<i>Thought you might like it.</i>

1321
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:43,400
<i>It's all over, isn't it?</i>

1322
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:47,759
<i>I mean, what's Gemma gonna do now?</i>

1323
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:49,959
<i>A new driver'll want wages.</i>

1324
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:52,240
<i>And a coach that's insured.</i>

1325
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:55,200
<i>I'm not having it.</i>

1326
01:03:55,201 --> 01:03:57,079
<i>I want my phone call.</i>

1327
01:03:57,080 --> 01:04:00,879
<i>Ah, I, uh, I've already used it for you.</i>

1328
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,999
<i>But on the upside, I did
use it to order pizza,</i>

1329
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,679
<i>so I hope you've brought your appetite,</i>

1330
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:08,560
<i>because you'll not be
getting pizza in prison.</i>

1331
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:12,319
<i>Obviously you have my number?</i>

1332
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:14,799
<i>Yeah, you're number, your agent's number,</i>

1333
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,439
<i>your email address,
and your Facebook page.</i>

1334
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:18,919
<i>Right then.</i>

1335
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:21,279
<i>Onward to the ballroom.</i>

1336
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,479
<i>I think the tour's over, David.</i>

1337
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,199
<i>I think I need to stay here and
see what happens with Terry.</i>

1338
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:27,839
<i>Even I'm losing the will.</i>

1339
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:28,800
<i>Nonsense.</i>

1340
01:04:28,801 --> 01:04:31,599
<i>The ballroom is the finale.</i>

1341
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:35,999
<i>We're safe now our real
life murderer is in custody.</i>

1342
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,079
<i>Terry's not the murderer.</i>

1343
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:40,479
<i>I've known him for years,
he's not like that.</i>

1344
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:42,759
<i>He's just helping the
police with their inquiries,</i>

1345
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:44,920
<i>which is perfectly normal.</i>

1346
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,480
<i>And often ends well.</i>

1347
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:52,359
<i>There'll be champagne.</i>

1348
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,760
<i>It all feels in poor taste.</i>

1349
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:58,239
<i>David, it, it's over.</i>

1350
01:04:58,240 --> 01:04:59,359
<i>I'm calling it a day.</i>

1351
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:02,119
<i>I'm sorry everyone, I'm sorry.</i>

1352
01:05:02,120 --> 01:05:03,919
<i>Now look here, Missy.</i>

1353
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,759
<i>I have a contract with your company</i>

1354
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,679
<i>that states quite plainly
that the final destination</i>

1355
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,999
<i>of this itinerary is the
Blackpool Tower Ballroom.</i>

1356
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:16,279
<i>Now you will either help me
get these good people up there,</i>

1357
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:19,879
<i>right now, or so help
me God, I shall sue you</i>

1358
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:22,719
<i>so heavily that you'll have the homeless</i>

1359
01:05:22,720 --> 01:05:24,400
<i>looking down at you.</i>

1360
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:27,720
<i>Do you understand?</i>

1361
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:43,159
<i>Ha ha, Blackpool.</i>

1362
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:44,759
<i>Gemma.</i>

1363
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:48,120
<i>You all drag me to these romantic places.</i>

1364
01:05:52,720 --> 01:05:54,119
<i>Come on, keep up.</i>

1365
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:57,239
<i>What I've got planned is a
once in a lifetime experience.</i>

1366
01:05:57,240 --> 01:05:58,599
<i>Well this had better be good.</i>

1367
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:01,559
<i>We've walked past four bingo
halls and I've not gone in.</i>

1368
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,679
<i>It's against my better nature.</i>

1369
01:06:03,680 --> 01:06:06,479
<i>I can feel those balls calling me.</i>

1370
01:06:06,480 --> 01:06:10,080
<i>And ahead, our final destination.</i>

1371
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:15,279
<i>Evidence?</i>

1372
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:16,999
<i>They didn't have any evidence.</i>

1373
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:19,399
<i>DNA, motive, none of that.</i>

1374
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:20,759
<i>Pretty good of you to ask them about that.</i>

1375
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:22,719
<i>I had nothing.</i>

1376
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:25,679
<i>So, looks like you'll get away with it.</i>

1377
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:26,919
<i>Get away with...</i>

1378
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:28,679
<i>Get away with what?</i>

1379
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:30,439
<i>I didn't do anything.</i>

1380
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,079
<i>And the more you keep up
that kind of performance,</i>

1381
01:06:32,080 --> 01:06:34,919
<i>the more chance we have
of getting you off.</i>

1382
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:36,639
<i>A fat lot of good you was.</i>

1383
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:38,559
<i>Where did you go to law school?</i>

1384
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:40,999
<i>Not school, per se, more
of an online course.</i>

1385
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,759
<i>Dead easy, you can do
it in your spare time.</i>

1386
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:44,959
<i>They've got loads of subjects.</i>

1387
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,360
<i>I'm also a qualified dentist.</i>

1388
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:50,200
<i>Sort of.</i>

1389
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,399
<i>I've got to find Gemma.</i>

1390
01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:54,199
<i>Listen, make sure you
stay in Blackpool, though,</i>

1391
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,319
<i>they might want to ask you more questions.</i>

1392
01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:57,599
<i>Give your time to rehearse all that,</i>

1393
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,719
<i>"Ooh, I didn't do it" routine, though.</i>

1394
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,519
<i>I'm not going anywhere, mate.</i>

1395
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:02,360
<i>I've got to find the bloke</i>

1396
01:07:02,361 --> 01:07:04,319
<i>who's trying to kill my passengers.</i>

1397
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:06,919
<i>Nice, method acting, that's the way to go.</i>

1398
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:10,560
<i>Really inhabit the part
of the innocent man.</i>

1399
01:07:14,360 --> 01:07:17,119
<i>In a moment, we will raise a toast</i>

1400
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:19,879
<i>not only to our fallen comrades,</i>

1401
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:24,120
<i>but also to the books that
brought us all together.</i>

1402
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:28,119
<i>But first, let me take you through</i>

1403
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:30,639
<i>some additional
merchandise available today</i>

1404
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:32,480
<i>at rock bottom prices.</i>

1405
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:39,400
<i>Now first of all, we have the
full set of books, read by me.</i>

1406
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:52,999
<i>What are you doing here?</i>

1407
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,079
<i>What are you doing here, more like?</i>

1408
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:56,799
<i>You're supposed to be in jail.</i>

1409
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:57,959
<i>And how do you know that?</i>

1410
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,559
<i>I called the police.</i>

1411
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:02,159
<i>Told them that you were the killer.</i>

1412
01:08:02,160 --> 01:08:04,759
<i>So you tried to frame me?</i>

1413
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:06,279
<i>You're the sodding murderer, aren't you?</i>

1414
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:08,039
<i>I'll murder you for touching my Gemgem.</i>

1415
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:09,319
<i>Oh, come on then.</i>

1416
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:10,160
<i>You come on then.</i>

1417
01:08:10,161 --> 01:08:11,639
<i>No, you come on then.</i>

1418
01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:12,560
<i>I'm right here.</i>

1419
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:13,400
<i>Do something.</i>

1420
01:08:13,401 --> 01:08:14,799
<i>I will do something.</i>

1421
01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:15,800
<i>Come on then.</i>

1422
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:16,640
<i>Bring it.</i>

1423
01:08:16,641 --> 01:08:17,999
<i>I brought it.</i>

1424
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:19,279
<i>Don't you worry.</i>

1425
01:08:19,280 --> 01:08:22,079
<i>Packed it, brought it, and
you're about to get it.</i>

1426
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:23,199
<i>So where is it then?</i>

1427
01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:24,479
<i>Right here.</i>

1428
01:08:24,480 --> 01:08:28,879
<i>But I must warn you, I've
had four karate lessons.</i>

1429
01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:30,439
<i>And I must also worn you</i>

1430
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:33,279
<i>I've seen every single
Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.</i>

1431
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:36,199
<i>Including Kung Fu Panda
2, and Kung Fu Panda 3,</i>

1432
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:38,079
<i>in which admittedly, he's just a voice.</i>

1433
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,519
<i>But...</i>

1434
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:42,359
<i>He's still in the credits.</i>

1435
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:44,599
<i>Then let battle commence.</i>

1436
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:47,279
<i>Argh! Not me, not me ears.</i>

1437
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:48,719
<i>We never said ears were allowed.</i>

1438
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,999
<i>You're not gonna kill me like
you killed all the others.</i>

1439
01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:52,399
<i>Killer?</i>

1440
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:54,599
<i>I'm not a killer.</i>

1441
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:55,760
<i>A voyeur, yes.</i>

1442
01:08:56,920 --> 01:08:58,680
<i>A stalker, certainly.</i>

1443
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,279
<i>But I'm not a murderer.</i>

1444
01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:03,159
<i>You bloody are.</i>

1445
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:05,959
<i>You choked Marj, you shoved
Moira off of that gorge,</i>

1446
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:07,439
<i>and you beheaded Kevin.</i>

1447
01:09:07,440 --> 01:09:09,600
<i>And you knocked out David.</i>

1448
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:13,199
<i>Which, I'm not actually
that bothered about.</i>

1449
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:16,559
<i>I did not do any of those things.</i>

1450
01:09:16,560 --> 01:09:18,120
<i>And I can prove it.</i>

1451
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,919
<i>The old nibble on the earlobe.</i>

1452
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,039
<i>She used to love that.</i>

1453
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:24,479
<i>She still does.</i>

1454
01:09:24,480 --> 01:09:26,319
<i>Just not by you.</i>

1455
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:27,399
<i>Get to the point.</i>

1456
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:28,519
<i>Hang on.</i>

1457
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:29,520
<i>I'll rewind.</i>

1458
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:33,319
<i>Here we go.</i>

1459
01:09:33,320 --> 01:09:35,159
<i>Your man David.</i>

1460
01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:36,839
<i>So you're stalking David as well?</i>

1461
01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:37,840
<i>No.</i>

1462
01:09:37,841 --> 01:09:40,359
<i>He just came outside, so I did
some test footage with him.</i>

1463
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:42,559
<i>You know, check the
exposure, and all that?</i>

1464
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,439
<i>For when I was filming you two.</i>

1465
01:09:45,440 --> 01:09:49,439
<i>Biggest problem for a stalker,
really, picture quality.</i>

1466
01:09:49,440 --> 01:09:52,519
<i>That and restraining orders.</i>

1467
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:54,559
<i>So this is when he was attacked?</i>

1468
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:56,039
<i>It is.</i>

1469
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:57,679
<i>So you've got the attacker on tape.</i>

1470
01:09:57,680 --> 01:09:58,839
<i>The real murderer?</i>

1471
01:09:58,840 --> 01:09:59,840
<i>Oh yes.</i>

1472
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:05,240
<i>Oh, so he attacked himself?</i>

1473
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,839
<i>So we wouldn't suspect him of anything.</i>

1474
01:10:09,840 --> 01:10:12,519
<i>He's the bloody lunatic
who's been killing everyone.</i>

1475
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:13,759
<i>Yeah.</i>

1476
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:15,159
<i>Some people, eh?</i>

1477
01:10:15,160 --> 01:10:16,479
<i>Disgusting.</i>

1478
01:10:16,480 --> 01:10:18,639
<i>So why didn't you call
the police about him?</i>

1479
01:10:18,640 --> 01:10:20,279
<i>Because he didn't kiss my Gemma.</i>

1480
01:10:20,280 --> 01:10:21,999
<i>Yeah, but now David's
been allowed to walk off</i>

1481
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,439
<i>with a whole coachload full of passengers.</i>

1482
01:10:24,440 --> 01:10:26,679
<i>Including my possibly future,</i>

1483
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:29,320
<i>and your definite ex-girlfriend.</i>

1484
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:31,999
<i>That hasn't worked out, has it?</i>

1485
01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:33,319
<i>And now they're on their
way to the ballroom,</i>

1486
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:36,919
<i>so he can do who knows what to them.</i>

1487
01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:38,119
<i>Oh.</i>

1488
01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:39,120
<i>Yes. Oh.</i>

1489
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:44,079
<i>Now come on, we have
to go and rescue Gemma.</i>

1490
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:45,399
<i>The police have got the keys to the coach,</i>

1491
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,559
<i>so we're gonna have to run.</i>

1492
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:47,400
<i>Come on.</i>

1493
01:10:47,401 --> 01:10:49,919
<i>No, why not just get an Uber?</i>

1494
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:50,960
<i>Okay, I'll run. I'll run.</i>

1495
01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:55,759
<i>And so let's raise a toast.</i>

1496
01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:58,839
<i>Not only to the fallen,
but also in celebration</i>

1497
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:00,680
<i>of those who survived.</i>

1498
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:05,719
<i>Some might say, outwitted
the evil intentions</i>

1499
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:08,159
<i>of Terry the coach driver.</i>

1500
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:10,239
<i>He's in his element, isn't he?</i>

1501
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:11,240
<i>Yeah.</i>

1502
01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:15,159
<i>I need the toilet.</i>

1503
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:17,479
<i>Girls together, we could freshen up?</i>

1504
01:11:17,480 --> 01:11:21,040
<i>I think we'll have time for
a mani pedi at this rate.</i>

1505
01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:32,600
<i>All right, not the ears, get off the ears!</i>

1506
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:46,439
<i>Murderer!</i>

1507
01:11:46,440 --> 01:11:48,959
<i>And creepy stalker man.</i>

1508
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:49,960
<i>No.</i>

1509
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:52,239
<i>Well, he is still a stalker,</i>

1510
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:53,919
<i>but I'm not the murderer.</i>

1511
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:55,599
<i>He's not, he's not the killer.</i>

1512
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:56,999
<i>David.</i>

1513
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:58,439
<i>David's the murderer.</i>

1514
01:11:58,440 --> 01:11:59,519
<i>Me?</i>

1515
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:00,600
<i>How dare you.</i>

1516
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:03,400
<i>Ben filmed him.</i>

1517
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:05,679
<i>At the hotel.</i>

1518
01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:07,359
<i>He hit himself on the head.</i>

1519
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:10,159
<i>He faked his own attempted murder.</i>

1520
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:11,160
<i>I did not.</i>

1521
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:14,959
<i>I've got you on film, pal.</i>

1522
01:12:14,960 --> 01:12:16,519
<i>As clear as every shot I've got of Gemma</i>

1523
01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:18,840
<i>through her bathroom window.</i>

1524
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:26,960
<i>Get him!</i>

1525
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:33,239
<i>It's a shame about Terry.</i>

1526
01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:35,359
<i>Ah, Terry's not
the one doing this, Laura,</i>

1527
01:12:35,360 --> 01:12:36,679
<i>I'm sure of it.</i>

1528
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:38,959
<i>Oh, you can see he's not the type.</i>

1529
01:12:38,960 --> 01:12:40,599
<i>Mind you, if he was, he would fit in with</i>

1530
01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:44,079
<i>the succession of nutters I've
gone out with over the years.</i>

1531
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:46,159
<i>There's Ben, my stalker,</i>

1532
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:48,879
<i>before him was Chris,
he stole from my purse.</i>

1533
01:12:48,880 --> 01:12:52,159
<i>Oh and of course Andy, kept
calling me by his mother's name,</i>

1534
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:54,119
<i>even when we were in bed.</i>

1535
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:57,360
<i>And exclusively when we were in bed.</i>

1536
01:13:21,720 --> 01:13:23,679
<i>How are there no other ways out of here?</i>

1537
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:27,359
<i>Because, David, this is
where they keep the chairs.</i>

1538
01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:29,319
<i>And me and these chairs
have something in common.</i>

1539
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:30,160
<i>What?</i>

1540
01:13:30,161 --> 01:13:33,159
<i>We both know a tired old
asshole when we see one.</i>

1541
01:13:33,160 --> 01:13:35,599
<i>Nearly got away with it, didn't you?</i>

1542
01:13:35,600 --> 01:13:39,559
<i>Bringing everyone here
for your last murder.</i>

1543
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:41,839
<i>Thanks to this book the police gave me,</i>

1544
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:44,000
<i>I'm one step ahead of you.</i>

1545
01:13:45,640 --> 01:13:49,319
<i>"Toxic Tango in the Butcher's Ballroom".</i>

1546
01:13:49,320 --> 01:13:52,599
<i>You poisoned the champagne
just like in the book.</i>

1547
01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:54,199
<i>It looks like I got
here in time to stop you</i>

1548
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:55,919
<i>before anybody drank it.</i>

1549
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:56,959
<i>Oh God.</i>

1550
01:13:56,960 --> 01:13:57,800
<i>What?</i>

1551
01:13:57,801 --> 01:13:59,119
<i>I drank the champagne.</i>

1552
01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:02,039
<i>While you were telling us
David was the murderer.</i>

1553
01:14:02,040 --> 01:14:03,759
<i>While I was telling you he was the killer,</i>

1554
01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:05,399
<i>you drank something that he'd given you.</i>

1555
01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:06,240
<i>Well you can't waste champagne,</i>

1556
01:14:06,241 --> 01:14:08,680
<i>it's like expensive Prosecco.</i>

1557
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:11,240
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

1558
01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:14,760
<i>I've been poisoned.</i>

1559
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:16,800
<i>George!</i>

1560
01:14:16,801 --> 01:14:17,839
<i>Grace.</i>

1561
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:19,079
<i>I can feel it.</i>

1562
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:21,279
<i>It's already in me.</i>

1563
01:14:21,280 --> 01:14:23,399
<i>Oh, Grace, I love you.</i>

1564
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:25,919
<i>I can't let you go without you
knowing the things I've done.</i>

1565
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:28,199
<i>You've done nothing but love me, George.</i>

1566
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:30,679
<i>No, Grace, I've been a bad man.</i>

1567
01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:32,759
<i>This is about to get interesting.</i>

1568
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:36,079
<i>The cleaner, Grace, I'm so sorry.</i>

1569
01:14:36,080 --> 01:14:37,999
<i>I did pay her to do those things to me.</i>

1570
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:39,080
<i>Oh, George.</i>

1571
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:41,759
<i>I forgive you.</i>

1572
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:46,359
<i>A- and the cleaner's son,
who used to do the gardens.</i>

1573
01:14:46,360 --> 01:14:47,959
<i>Yes George?</i>

1574
01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:49,239
<i>Is he actually your son?</i>

1575
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:50,399
<i>No.</i>

1576
01:14:50,400 --> 01:14:52,039
<i>God, no.</i>

1577
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:53,399
<i>I've been buying cannabis off him</i>

1578
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:54,959
<i>and putting it in your muesli.</i>

1579
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:56,719
<i>But why, George, why?</i>

1580
01:14:56,720 --> 01:14:58,679
<i>Well just to calm you
down, because if I didn't,</i>

1581
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:00,799
<i>I would've killed you myself by now.</i>

1582
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:01,800
<i>Oh, George, why?</i>

1583
01:15:01,801 --> 01:15:03,359
<i>Because of all your rules.</i>

1584
01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:05,399
<i>No mouth kissing until
I've brushed and flossed,</i>

1585
01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:08,400
<i>no drinking because you
think my laugh becomes nasal.</i>

1586
01:15:10,320 --> 01:15:12,239
<i>I don't mean to rain on your parade,</i>

1587
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:14,319
<i>but I want to make it
clear I poisoned no one.</i>

1588
01:15:14,320 --> 01:15:15,320
<i>What?</i>

1589
01:15:16,040 --> 01:15:18,040
<i>Oh, great, she's fine.</i>

1590
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:26,039
<i>You don't want to worry
about getting a man, Gemma.</i>

1591
01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:27,120
<i>Oh, I know.</i>

1592
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:29,999
<i>What's the alternative?</i>

1593
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,439
<i>I mean, I know what the alternative is,</i>

1594
01:15:31,440 --> 01:15:34,680
<i>and I've never been attracted to women.</i>

1595
01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:38,919
<i>Although I did have an odd
fascination with Steffi Graf</i>

1596
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:40,679
<i>when I was younger.</i>

1597
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:42,919
<i>Do you think that counts?</i>

1598
01:15:42,920 --> 01:15:47,000
<i>All right, I admit I did
hit myself on my head.</i>

1599
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:51,759
<i>But in truth, that was only
to refocus your attention</i>

1600
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,519
<i>back on me, you were all
getting so preoccupied</i>

1601
01:15:54,520 --> 01:15:57,839
<i>with the actual killings, you're
forgetting why we're here.</i>

1602
01:15:57,840 --> 01:15:59,079
<i>Me.</i>

1603
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:00,479
<i>Bollocks.</i>

1604
01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:02,199
<i>I'm calling the police.</i>

1605
01:16:02,200 --> 01:16:04,159
<i>What kind of arrogant maniac
writes a murder series</i>

1606
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:06,679
<i>and then reenacts them?</i>

1607
01:16:06,680 --> 01:16:08,559
<i>You're going down, for life.</i>

1608
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:12,159
<i>No, please, please, please don't.</i>

1609
01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:14,559
<i>They're not even my murders,
I didn't write the books.</i>

1610
01:16:14,560 --> 01:16:15,799
<i>Oh my God.</i>

1611
01:16:15,800 --> 01:16:18,799
<i>You didn't write "Death Replumbs Her"?</i>

1612
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:19,800
<i>No.</i>

1613
01:16:22,320 --> 01:16:23,320
<i>No, I...</i>

1614
01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:25,960
<i>I didn't.</i>

1615
01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:33,759
<i>I was working in publishing.</i>

1616
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:36,360
<i>Things weren't going very well.</i>

1617
01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:40,839
<i>And I, I hadn't had a successful
book published in months.</i>

1618
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:44,039
<i>I needed a hit, or I'd be
out of publishing forever,</i>

1619
01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:46,040
<i>or even worse than that.</i>

1620
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:50,240
<i>Moved to celebrity autobiographies.</i>

1621
01:16:51,560 --> 01:16:56,039
<i>And then, one day, a
huge pile of manuscripts</i>

1622
01:16:56,040 --> 01:16:57,639
<i>landed on my desk.</i>

1623
01:16:57,640 --> 01:16:59,359
<i>Ten complete novels,</i>

1624
01:16:59,360 --> 01:17:01,999
<i>I mean who sends in
ten books, handwritten.</i>

1625
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:06,039
<i>The author, Mary, had sent a note, saying,</i>

1626
01:17:06,040 --> 01:17:08,559
<i>"Treasure these. They're the only copies."</i>

1627
01:17:08,560 --> 01:17:10,479
<i>I saw my chance.</i>

1628
01:17:10,480 --> 01:17:13,759
<i>Since they were the only copies.</i>

1629
01:17:13,760 --> 01:17:17,919
<i>No one could prove that
I hadn't written them.</i>

1630
01:17:17,920 --> 01:17:20,599
<i>And there was a lot more
money for the author.</i>

1631
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:24,959
<i>So, I went ahead, and
I said they were mine.</i>

1632
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:26,759
<i>Some might say it was the perfect crime.</i>

1633
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:29,799
<i>Almost what she'd have wanted.</i>

1634
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:31,599
<i>Didn't the real writer ever
wonder what was happening</i>

1635
01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:34,519
<i>when their book started
popping up in shops.</i>

1636
01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:37,519
<i>Well, she did get in touch, yes.</i>

1637
01:17:37,520 --> 01:17:38,999
<i>She came to see me,</i>

1638
01:17:39,000 --> 01:17:42,359
<i>and she told me she had
a young daughter to feed.</i>

1639
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,359
<i>I just saw pound signs.</i>

1640
01:17:44,360 --> 01:17:45,959
<i>I threatened her with legal action,</i>

1641
01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:49,359
<i>and she ran out of the office, crying.</i>

1642
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:52,680
<i>I heard later that she'd killed herself.</i>

1643
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:59,640
<i>You stole somebody's talent
just to get some notoriety?</i>

1644
01:18:00,520 --> 01:18:02,919
<i>You're the Milli Vanilli of literature.</i>

1645
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:05,999
<i>Well I, I did write the book's titles.</i>

1646
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:09,039
<i>They're the worst bit
about the bloody books.</i>

1647
01:18:09,040 --> 01:18:12,280
<i>But that is still no proof of murder.</i>

1648
01:18:13,320 --> 01:18:17,040
<i>Mary Bishop, you said
I'd get my comeuppance.</i>

1649
01:18:18,400 --> 01:18:20,039
<i>Here it is.</i>

1650
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:21,280
<i>It's come up...</i>

1651
01:18:24,760 --> 01:18:25,760
<i>... enced.</i>

1652
01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:30,520
<i>Right, you nearly done in there?</i>

1653
01:18:31,640 --> 01:18:35,679
<i>You've been a while, do you need any help?</i>

1654
01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:40,680
<i>My mother killed herself because
of what a man did to her.</i>

1655
01:18:41,760 --> 01:18:43,599
<i>Oh, I'm so sorry.</i>

1656
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:44,920
<i>He robbed her.</i>

1657
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:50,159
<i>Robbed her of the one thing
she spent her life creating.</i>

1658
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:52,080
<i>So he robbed me of her.</i>

1659
01:18:53,080 --> 01:18:55,319
<i>Oh my God, that's so sad.</i>

1660
01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:57,959
<i>If you want to talk
about it, we've got time.</i>

1661
01:18:57,960 --> 01:19:00,959
<i>I'm in no rush to get
back to David's toast.</i>

1662
01:19:00,960 --> 01:19:02,679
<i>Honestly, for such a poor writer,</i>

1663
01:19:02,680 --> 01:19:04,719
<i>he does think a lot of himself.</i>

1664
01:19:04,720 --> 01:19:06,439
<i>The books are brilliantly written.</i>

1665
01:19:06,440 --> 01:19:09,919
<i>Ah, come on, they're nonsense.</i>

1666
01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:12,080
<i>The books are brilliant.</i>

1667
01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:15,959
<i>All right.</i>

1668
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:18,559
<i>Fair enough, each to their own I suppose.</i>

1669
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:21,159
<i>At least we've got to
the last of them now.</i>

1670
01:19:21,160 --> 01:19:23,400
<i>No more murders, hopefully.</i>

1671
01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:27,439
<i>There is one book we haven't covered yet.</i>

1672
01:19:27,440 --> 01:19:29,759
<i>Oh, God, not another one.</i>

1673
01:19:29,760 --> 01:19:31,360
<i>What happens in it?</i>

1674
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:39,399
<i>A woman gets stabbed in the toilet.</i>

1675
01:19:39,400 --> 01:19:42,519
<i>Could be any night in Blackpool, that.</i>

1676
01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:44,119
<i>Bishop.</i>

1677
01:19:44,120 --> 01:19:45,679
<i>That name rings a bell.</i>

1678
01:19:45,680 --> 01:19:49,719
<i>It's quite a common name,
especially in the clergy.</i>

1679
01:19:49,720 --> 01:19:51,759
<i>No, I've seen it today.</i>

1680
01:19:51,760 --> 01:19:53,599
<i>Or yesterday.</i>

1681
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:56,519
<i>That's it, the passenger list.</i>

1682
01:19:56,520 --> 01:19:58,879
<i>One of the passengers is called Bishop.</i>

1683
01:19:58,880 --> 01:19:59,800
<i>You are Miss?</i>

1684
01:19:59,801 --> 01:20:01,399
<i>Laura Bishop.</i>

1685
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:03,079
<i>Oh God.</i>

1686
01:20:03,080 --> 01:20:04,119
<i>It's Laura.</i>

1687
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:05,279
<i>Where is she?</i>

1688
01:20:05,280 --> 01:20:08,599
<i>Well, I saw her sloping off
to the toilets with Gemma.</i>

1689
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:10,199
<i>Who knows what they're up to in there,</i>

1690
01:20:10,200 --> 01:20:12,119
<i>but it's the modern world.</i>

1691
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:13,639
<i>None of my business.</i>

1692
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:14,440
<i>Gemma.</i>

1693
01:20:14,440 --> 01:20:15,440
<i>I'm coming!</i>

1694
01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:19,840
<i>George.</i>

1695
01:20:20,760 --> 01:20:22,519
<i>We need to talk.</i>

1696
01:20:22,520 --> 01:20:23,520
<i>Yes.</i>

1697
01:20:24,440 --> 01:20:26,399
<i>You're the murderer?</i>

1698
01:20:26,400 --> 01:20:27,719
<i>But, but no, you can't-</i>

1699
01:20:27,720 --> 01:20:29,679
<i>Can't what, Gemma?</i>

1700
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:31,399
<i>What can't I do?</i>

1701
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:32,719
<i>I think you'll find that when a young girl</i>

1702
01:20:32,720 --> 01:20:35,639
<i>has watched a dribbling spilk like David</i>

1703
01:20:35,640 --> 01:20:38,879
<i>steal her mother's life's work,</i>

1704
01:20:38,880 --> 01:20:41,079
<i>and then watched her take her own life.</i>

1705
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:43,279
<i>When you've seen all
that, I think you'll find</i>

1706
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:45,679
<i>there's nothing you can't do.</i>

1707
01:20:45,680 --> 01:20:47,479
<i>All right.</i>

1708
01:20:47,480 --> 01:20:49,319
<i>It's a bit heavy.</i>

1709
01:20:49,320 --> 01:20:51,719
<i>I can see you're still
working through some stuff.</i>

1710
01:20:51,720 --> 01:20:53,200
<i>I'll just pop out and give you some-</i>

1711
01:20:55,720 --> 01:20:57,999
<i>I'll probably just stay here.</i>

1712
01:20:58,000 --> 01:21:00,759
<i>Moira was supposed to be my cover.</i>

1713
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:03,239
<i>I met her at one of David's book signings.</i>

1714
01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:06,319
<i>Pretty soon she took
me on as her assistant.</i>

1715
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:09,599
<i>Let me tell you, after scraping the gunk</i>

1716
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:11,639
<i>from under her big toe every night,</i>

1717
01:21:11,640 --> 01:21:14,479
<i>it made me more determined to frame David</i>

1718
01:21:14,480 --> 01:21:16,479
<i>and bump Moira off.</i>

1719
01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:21,279
<i>But somehow you and your fat
boyfriend got in the way.</i>

1720
01:21:21,280 --> 01:21:23,319
<i>You're the last one, Gemma.</i>

1721
01:21:23,320 --> 01:21:24,919
<i>You're as bad as the others.</i>

1722
01:21:24,920 --> 01:21:27,239
<i>Giving him money, sucking up to him</i>

1723
01:21:27,240 --> 01:21:29,359
<i>when it's my mother's words.</i>

1724
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:31,239
<i>My mother's books.</i>

1725
01:21:31,240 --> 01:21:33,240
<i>Ooh, that looks sharp.</i>

1726
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:37,639
<i>How far are these bloody toilets?</i>

1727
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:38,959
<i>Come on, get a move on.</i>

1728
01:21:38,960 --> 01:21:41,439
<i>Don't rush me, I haven't
got my orthopaedics on.</i>

1729
01:21:41,440 --> 01:21:42,799
<i>I've got to save Gemma.</i>

1730
01:21:42,800 --> 01:21:44,199
<i>Then I'm coming too.</i>

1731
01:21:44,200 --> 01:21:48,679
<i>You need a chaperone before
entering a ladies private area.</i>

1732
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:50,239
<i>Marj was the easiest.</i>

1733
01:21:50,240 --> 01:21:52,199
<i>She were easy to choke out.</i>

1734
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,559
<i>Voice like a foghorn,
but weak as a sparrow.</i>

1735
01:21:55,560 --> 01:21:56,560
<i>And Moira.</i>

1736
01:21:57,440 --> 01:21:58,999
<i>I don't know if you've ever tipped someone</i>

1737
01:21:59,000 --> 01:22:00,799
<i>over a gorge before, Gemma.</i>

1738
01:22:00,800 --> 01:22:02,360
<i>No, no no, never.</i>

1739
01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:05,759
<i>It's brilliant fun.</i>

1740
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:09,519
<i>I'm gutted I killed Kevin,
but someone had to die.</i>

1741
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:13,599
<i>Poor bloke never really knew
what was going on, anyway.</i>

1742
01:22:13,600 --> 01:22:16,679
<i>I've been planning this for years.</i>

1743
01:22:16,680 --> 01:22:21,039
<i>Once I've finished you
off, and then David,</i>

1744
01:22:21,040 --> 01:22:24,159
<i>this is gonna be all over the news.</i>

1745
01:22:24,160 --> 01:22:26,839
<i>Everyone's gonna rush out to buy the books</i>

1746
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:28,959
<i>to see what all the fuss is about.</i>

1747
01:22:28,960 --> 01:22:32,560
<i>And then my mother's
memory will be honoured.</i>

1748
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:38,439
<i>Is everything all right in here?</i>

1749
01:22:38,440 --> 01:22:39,839
<i>We heard a fracas.</i>

1750
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:41,680
<i>Gemma, are you okay?</i>

1751
01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:44,839
<i>Run, both of you, get the police.</i>

1752
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:47,239
<i>No, I'm not running anywhere, Gemma.</i>

1753
01:22:47,240 --> 01:22:49,319
<i>I've got some pepper spray in here.</i>

1754
01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:50,799
<i>Where did you get pepper spray?</i>

1755
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:51,840
<i>Car boot.</i>

1756
01:22:54,840 --> 01:22:56,840
<i>I swear, it was in here.</i>

1757
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:05,079
<i>There's no point being a hero now.</i>

1758
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:05,920
<i>Quite right.</i>

1759
01:23:05,921 --> 01:23:07,559
<i>We don't know for sure
she's the killer, do we?</i>

1760
01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:09,039
<i>Innocent until proven guilty.</i>

1761
01:23:09,040 --> 01:23:09,880
<i>Yeah, very true.</i>

1762
01:23:09,881 --> 01:23:13,480
<i>I never had a problem
with her, personally.</i>

1763
01:23:14,880 --> 01:23:15,720
<i>Are you all right?</i>

1764
01:23:15,720 --> 01:23:16,600
<i>I'm fine.</i>

1765
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:17,600
<i>You go, go.</i>

1766
01:23:22,440 --> 01:23:23,799
<i>I love you.</i>

1767
01:23:23,800 --> 01:23:24,800
<i>Aw!</i>

1768
01:23:25,960 --> 01:23:27,279
<i>Okay.</i>

1769
01:23:27,280 --> 01:23:28,280
<i>What?</i>

1770
01:23:29,040 --> 01:23:33,079
<i>I, I just don't think
we're quite there yet.</i>

1771
01:23:33,080 --> 01:23:34,080
<i>Oh, right.</i>

1772
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:36,600
<i>Hashtag awkward.</i>

1773
01:23:39,040 --> 01:23:41,600
<i>Now go and get that mental witch.</i>

1774
01:23:47,760 --> 01:23:49,280
<i>David.</i>

1775
01:23:59,280 --> 01:24:00,280
<i>David!</i>

1776
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:16,160
<i>Coming through!</i>

1777
01:24:19,360 --> 01:24:23,999
<i>Whoa, whoa, mate, we're
closed for cleaning.</i>

1778
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:26,479
<i>You just, you just go in, love.</i>

1779
01:24:26,480 --> 01:24:27,999
<i>I'll have to go, I've
had a couple come in.</i>

1780
01:24:28,000 --> 01:24:30,159
<i>The woman's caught him
cheating, or something.</i>

1781
01:24:30,160 --> 01:24:33,320
<i>Oh, hang on, I think it's a threesome.</i>

1782
01:24:42,560 --> 01:24:43,560
<i>David.</i>

1783
01:24:46,440 --> 01:24:48,159
<i>David, where are you?</i>

1784
01:24:48,160 --> 01:24:51,639
<i>I'm next to a large
Blackpool Tower ornament.</i>

1785
01:24:51,640 --> 01:24:54,599
<i>Or would you classify it as a figurine?</i>

1786
01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:56,599
<i>Stay where you are, David.</i>

1787
01:24:56,600 --> 01:24:58,679
<i>I'm coming for you.</i>

1788
01:24:58,680 --> 01:25:01,479
<i>Laura, you don't need to do this.</i>

1789
01:25:01,480 --> 01:25:03,599
<i>Look, I've only known David for 36 hours,</i>

1790
01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:05,879
<i>and already I want to kill him.</i>

1791
01:25:05,880 --> 01:25:09,799
<i>I don't think you're helping, Terry.</i>

1792
01:25:09,800 --> 01:25:12,479
<i>All I'm saying is I know how you feel.</i>

1793
01:25:12,480 --> 01:25:14,640
<i>But this isn't the answer.</i>

1794
01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:19,559
<i>David drove my mum to
suicide over those books.</i>

1795
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:23,319
<i>Look, perhaps we could
come to some sort of deal.</i>

1796
01:25:23,320 --> 01:25:27,320
<i>I'd happily give you a
very generous percentage.</i>

1797
01:25:29,240 --> 01:25:31,080
<i>All I want is blood.</i>

1798
01:25:37,960 --> 01:25:39,079
<i>David.</i>

1799
01:25:39,080 --> 01:25:41,279
<i>Where are you now?</i>

1800
01:25:41,280 --> 01:25:43,639
<i>I'm by the two pee machines.</i>

1801
01:25:43,640 --> 01:25:46,039
<i>They're all bloody two pee machines.</i>

1802
01:25:46,040 --> 01:25:47,399
<i>Really?</i>

1803
01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:48,879
<i>All of them?</i>

1804
01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:51,119
<i>We're just out of the recession.</i>

1805
01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:54,400
<i>It's bloody Blackpool, not Monte Carlo.</i>

1806
01:25:58,600 --> 01:26:00,199
<i>Just leave it, Terry.</i>

1807
01:26:00,200 --> 01:26:03,479
<i>I don't have to kill
anyone else but David.</i>

1808
01:26:03,480 --> 01:26:04,400
<i>David.</i>

1809
01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:05,360
<i>Help me.</i>

1810
01:26:05,361 --> 01:26:06,999
<i>I'd love to, but I think this may be</i>

1811
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:09,600
<i>the opportune time to run away.</i>

1812
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:12,519
<i>Oh, cheers pal.</i>

1813
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:15,039
<i>Only trying to save
your sodding life, here.</i>

1814
01:26:15,040 --> 01:26:16,399
<i>Oh dear.</i>

1815
01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:20,320
<i>Looks like it's gonna
have to be you after all.</i>

1816
01:26:23,680 --> 01:26:25,719
<i>Welcome to Blackpool, Missy.</i>

1817
01:26:25,720 --> 01:26:27,319
<i>Told you.</i>

1818
01:26:27,320 --> 01:26:29,039
<i>You did it.</i>

1819
01:26:29,040 --> 01:26:30,520
<i>You saved the day.</i>

1820
01:26:32,280 --> 01:26:33,160
<i>Have you flossed?</i>

1821
01:26:33,161 --> 01:26:34,559
<i>No.</i>

1822
01:26:34,560 --> 01:26:36,240
<i>It doesn't matter.</i>

1823
01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:43,719
<i>And to think I almost
stole one of your bras.</i>

1824
01:26:43,720 --> 01:26:45,599
<i>Don't spoil it, George.</i>

1825
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:47,319
<i>Yes, dear.</i>

1826
01:26:47,320 --> 01:26:49,640
<i>You dirty old sod, George.</i>

1827
01:27:00,760 --> 01:27:02,039
<i>Terry!</i>

1828
01:27:02,040 --> 01:27:03,599
<i>Oh my God, are you all right?</i>

1829
01:27:03,600 --> 01:27:04,480
<i>I'm fine.</i>

1830
01:27:04,481 --> 01:27:06,479
<i>I've had worse things thrown
at me by school trips.</i>

1831
01:27:06,480 --> 01:27:07,839
<i>How's your hand?</i>

1832
01:27:07,840 --> 01:27:08,840
<i>I'll live.</i>

1833
01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:12,440
<i>Come here, gently.</i>

1834
01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:17,879
<i>Well it seems, uh, I owe you an apology.</i>

1835
01:27:17,880 --> 01:27:19,519
<i>Just doing your job, mate.</i>

1836
01:27:19,520 --> 01:27:21,279
<i>It's pretty brave, Terry.</i>

1837
01:27:21,280 --> 01:27:23,919
<i>You should be proud of him, Miss.</i>

1838
01:27:23,920 --> 01:27:25,639
<i>Oh, I am.</i>

1839
01:27:25,640 --> 01:27:28,039
<i>I'll be in contact
tomorrow, if that's okay.</i>

1840
01:27:28,040 --> 01:27:30,159
<i>Let you get some rest.</i>

1841
01:27:30,160 --> 01:27:31,839
<i>I'd, uh, take your statements now,</i>

1842
01:27:31,840 --> 01:27:34,519
<i>but the Chief Inspector wants to see me.</i>

1843
01:27:34,520 --> 01:27:38,360
<i>Address some of the
mistakes made on the case.</i>

1844
01:27:42,600 --> 01:27:44,599
<i>Oh, that was ever so exciting,</i>

1845
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:46,759
<i>they'll never believe us back at the home.</i>

1846
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:48,599
<i>Marj would've loved it.</i>

1847
01:27:48,600 --> 01:27:52,079
<i>Ah, well maybe in some way she was here,</i>

1848
01:27:52,080 --> 01:27:53,359
<i>watching it all with us.</i>

1849
01:27:53,360 --> 01:27:55,639
<i>No dear, she's dead.</i>

1850
01:27:55,640 --> 01:27:58,039
<i>Don't patronise us.</i>

1851
01:27:58,040 --> 01:27:59,040
<i>Right.</i>

1852
01:28:00,200 --> 01:28:04,479
<i>I think we can call this
tour well and truly over.</i>

1853
01:28:04,480 --> 01:28:05,960
<i>Well, not quite.</i>

1854
01:28:23,360 --> 01:28:25,040
<i>Karen, this is it.</i>

1855
01:28:26,280 --> 01:28:27,799
<i>Just like you wanted it.</i>

1856
01:28:27,800 --> 01:28:32,199
<i>Back in Blackpool, at the
exact spot where I proposed.</i>

1857
01:28:32,200 --> 01:28:34,599
<i>Then we had fish and chips.</i>

1858
01:28:34,600 --> 01:28:37,759
<i>It gave you food poisoning which you said</i>

1859
01:28:37,760 --> 01:28:39,360
<i>ruined the holiday.</i>

1860
01:28:42,240 --> 01:28:43,400
<i>Goodbye, love.</i>

1861
01:28:44,640 --> 01:28:45,679
<i>Oh, wait.</i>

1862
01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:46,719
<i>The wind's a bit gusty.</i>

1863
01:28:46,720 --> 01:28:48,159
<i>Don't want blow back.</i>

1864
01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:50,160
<i>This sweater's clean on.</i>

1865
01:28:56,640 --> 01:28:57,880
<i>Goodbye love.</i>

1866
01:29:00,360 --> 01:29:01,360
<i>Bye Karen.</i>

1867
01:29:02,520 --> 01:29:04,080
<i>Bye. Sorry again.</i>

1868
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:06,520
<i>Bye Karen.</i>

1869
01:29:07,360 --> 01:29:09,199
<i>Don't worry about the postcard.</i>

1870
01:29:09,200 --> 01:29:12,959
<i>If you see Marj, say hello from us.</i>

1871
01:29:12,960 --> 01:29:16,640
<i>And ask her where she put
my brown bloody shoes.</i>

1872
01:29:25,880 --> 01:29:26,919
<i>You okay, Graham?</i>

1873
01:29:26,920 --> 01:29:28,000
<i>Yeah, fine.</i>

1874
01:29:29,120 --> 01:29:30,280
<i>It's done now.</i>

1875
01:29:33,560 --> 01:29:35,279
<i>I hope you don't mind me asking, love,</i>

1876
01:29:35,280 --> 01:29:37,040
<i>but how did she pass?</i>

1877
01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:41,960
<i>I killed her.</i>