1
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:31,098
And what the case here
clearly needs is...
2
00:00:31,733 --> 00:00:34,234
My daughter!
He's got my daughter!
3
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:38,205
Judge, you're mistaken.
The only need is me.
4
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,749
-This way!
-No. This way.
5
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:14,576
Hey!
6
00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:19,313
Where's her daughter?
7
00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:30,725
Watch out!
It's gonna blow!
8
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:40,802
Cut there.
9
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,169
Reset.
10
00:01:43,972 --> 00:01:45,339
What are you doing?
11
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:46,741
You know me.
I never do my own stunts.
12
00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:48,610
Clarky boy. You're up.
13
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,511
Well, maybe if you worked out
once in a while, Brad.
14
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:52,179
Some of the biggest stars
do their own stunts.
15
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,480
Not this big star,
but if you wanna
16
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,449
talk about it further
over drinks?
17
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,586
Mm. Can my husband
and two small children come too?
18
00:01:58,653 --> 00:02:00,688
You're cute.
I'll take a rain check.
19
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,489
-Alf.
-Brad.
20
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,525
Wonderful work today.
21
00:02:05,093 --> 00:02:08,796
It's A Killing Time 7's gonna
be fresher than 4 and 5.
22
00:02:08,863 --> 00:02:10,197
Well, thanks, buddy.
23
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:11,833
But I still have concerns
over scene 22.
24
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,201
I think I'm coming off
a little unlikeable
25
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,004
and the woman's
really underwritten.
26
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,572
-Well, I may...
-Not now, sugar.
27
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,941
You know what?
I'm gonna sort that for you.
28
00:02:20,008 --> 00:02:21,241
You're my man.
29
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:24,879
Stand by, everyone.
30
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,915
Good luck, Maggie.
31
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,416
It's Martha.
32
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,420
Who cares?
33
00:02:42,130 --> 00:02:43,230
Hey.
34
00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:48,770
I'm so sorry to ask, Mr Mac,
but would you say it please?
35
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,472
The only need is me.
36
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,877
I'm going to miss these movies.
37
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,244
Miss?
38
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,478
What do you mean, miss?
39
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,348
I don't believe it. They don't
wanna make Killing Time 8?
40
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,383
Still. You had a good run.
41
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,086
We only made seven films.
42
00:03:05,153 --> 00:03:07,522
Each one better than the last.
43
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:10,925
You know, forget it.
Fine.
44
00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:12,026
What's next?
45
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,729
Listen, Brad,
I'll level with you.
46
00:03:15,163 --> 00:03:16,731
There is no next.
47
00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:19,567
Er, the bottom line is people
don't want to hire you.
48
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,470
What? Why?
'Cause I'm too expensive?
49
00:03:23,538 --> 00:03:25,506
Er, because you're difficult.
50
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:28,810
You're late on set and you
refuse to do your own stunts.
51
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,111
You don't remember names.
52
00:03:30,178 --> 00:03:31,646
You failed your medicals.
53
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:33,815
Oh, my God. How many times
do I have to say it?
54
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,783
It was the day after
the Super Bowl.
55
00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,619
When me and the boys
get together, stuff goes down.
56
00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,989
There's gotta be
some kind of rom-com I can do.
57
00:03:43,024 --> 00:03:44,158
Or a biopic.
58
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,493
We could use this
as an opportunity
59
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,962
for me to really stretch.
60
00:03:48,029 --> 00:03:49,897
With the right makeup artist,
61
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,766
I could play Barack Obama.
62
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:53,634
-Christ.
-Yeah.
63
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,435
Probably still too young, huh?
64
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,739
Look, there is one thing
knocking around.
65
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,041
What?
66
00:04:00,108 --> 00:04:04,112
-Theatre in England.
-In front of a live audience?
67
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:05,213
Exactly.
68
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,315
Well, it's something
I've always wanted to do,
69
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:09,650
but you and I both know I only
70
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,753
ever took that
one film acting class.
71
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:15,990
I mean, I might be a natural,
but theatre kind of scares me.
72
00:04:16,057 --> 00:04:18,593
-You, scared?
-I've only ever done films.
73
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:22,230
Well, it's exactly the same.
Just louder.
74
00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,198
-Really?
-Yeah.
75
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:25,800
Are you sure that's it?
76
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:27,668
Trust me.
77
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:29,369
Huh.
78
00:04:29,971 --> 00:04:31,005
Louder.
79
00:04:32,507 --> 00:04:34,208
-You know what? Count me in.
-Great.
80
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,111
Now we are talking about a very
traditional production,
81
00:04:37,178 --> 00:04:38,546
but with your name
82
00:04:38,613 --> 00:04:39,981
on the marquee,
it'll sell out in seconds.
83
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,048
Me, a sell out!
84
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:42,550
You said it, kid, not me.
85
00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:45,086
And doesn't your daughter
live in England?
86
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,623
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't get to
see her as much any more.
87
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,457
Well, this is a chance
to reconnect.
88
00:04:50,525 --> 00:04:52,093
We're connected.
89
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,361
I just don't get to see
her as much as I want to.
90
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,564
So. Theatre in England?
91
00:04:56,631 --> 00:04:57,832
Yes!
92
00:04:57,899 --> 00:04:59,167
You know what?
93
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:02,036
We're gonna show the whole world
what Bradley Mac can do.
94
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:05,372
Because when
push comes to shove,
95
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,374
the only need is me.
96
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:11,946
Oh, Jesus.
97
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,387
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
98
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,423
Would you like to have
a look at the menu, sir?
99
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,508
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but we've been
100
00:05:40,575 --> 00:05:42,677
watching you the whole flight.
101
00:05:43,044 --> 00:05:44,078
My husband and I...
102
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:50,751
We're just huge fans of
the Killing Time movies.
103
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,787
Thank you.
That's very kind.
104
00:05:52,854 --> 00:05:56,090
It's so inspiring to see
a man of your age
105
00:05:56,157 --> 00:05:58,559
still throw themselves around.
106
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:03,731
In all fairness, I like
the first one much more than
107
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,701
the last one, but who cares?
108
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,502
-They're fun!
-Yeah.
109
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:13,241
What kind of woman doesn't
love a cuddly older man?
110
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:17,545
-Chocolate chip cookie?
-No. I'm good, thanks.
111
00:06:17,612 --> 00:06:18,880
Have a good flight.
112
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,452
Hello, Mr Mac.
113
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,687
Hi.
114
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,191
Hi again.
I'm just in the limo.
115
00:06:30,258 --> 00:06:33,460
-Rented, but still a limo.
-Where are you?
116
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,795
No, I'm outside.
117
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,931
I've got a sign.
You won't miss me.
118
00:06:36,998 --> 00:06:37,865
Where outside?
119
00:06:37,932 --> 00:06:39,867
Just outside arrivals, mate.
120
00:06:42,003 --> 00:06:46,473
Mr Mac, I'm Nigel Brand.
Here to take you to the Savoy.
121
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,609
The Savoy again.
122
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:53,614
I gotta say, I'm a huge fan.
123
00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,082
I just loved Top Gun.
124
00:06:56,350 --> 00:07:00,087
Oh, heated seats as requested.
125
00:07:01,022 --> 00:07:05,026
Oh, and here's your natural
volcanic water, sir.
126
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,127
Thank you.
127
00:07:17,305 --> 00:07:21,676
♪ Snow is falling
all around me ♪
128
00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:26,514
♪ Children playing,
having fun ♪
129
00:07:27,415 --> 00:07:28,516
♪ It's the season ♪
130
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,886
♪ Love and understanding ♪
131
00:07:31,953 --> 00:07:35,856
♪ Merry Christmas, everyone ♪
132
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,728
♪ At the parties and
celebrations ♪
133
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:45,433
♪ People dancing
all night long ♪
134
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:50,638
♪ Time for presents
and exchanging kisses ♪
135
00:07:50,705 --> 00:07:54,542
♪ Time for singing
Christmas songs ♪
136
00:07:56,210 --> 00:08:00,548
♪ We're gonna have
a party tonight ♪
137
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:05,086
♪ I'm gonna find that girl
underneath the mistletoe ♪
138
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,221
♪ And kiss by candlelight ♪
139
00:08:07,288 --> 00:08:11,359
♪ The room is swaying,
records playing ♪
140
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:16,197
♪ All the old songs
we love to hear ♪
141
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:20,935
♪ Oh, I wish that
every day was Christmas ♪
142
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:25,306
♪ What a nice way
to spend the year ♪
143
00:08:25,373 --> 00:08:26,874
♪ Whoo, yeah ♪
144
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:43,057
And on your left, Mr Mac,
you're going to see...
145
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,127
Mr Mac?
146
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,897
♪ We're gonna have
a party tonight ♪
147
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:55,069
♪ I'm gonna find that girl
underneath the mistletoe ♪
148
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,670
♪ And kiss by candlelight ♪
149
00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,407
♪ Snow is falling ♪
150
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,709
♪ All around me ♪
151
00:09:01,776 --> 00:09:05,980
♪ Children playing,
having fun ♪
152
00:09:06,047 --> 00:09:07,715
♪ It's the season ♪
153
00:09:07,782 --> 00:09:11,018
♪ Love and understanding ♪
154
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:14,922
♪ Merry Christmas, everyone ♪
155
00:09:15,790 --> 00:09:19,860
♪ Merry Christmas, everyone ♪
156
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:24,732
♪ Merry Christmas, everyone ♪
157
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:37,445
♪ Snow is falling
all around me ♪
158
00:09:37,512 --> 00:09:41,916
♪ Children playing,
having fun ♪
159
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,518
♪ It's the season ♪
160
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:46,387
♪ Love and understanding ♪
161
00:09:46,921 --> 00:09:50,424
♪ Merry Christmas, everyone ♪
162
00:09:51,392 --> 00:09:55,896
♪ Snow is falling
all around me ♪
163
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:59,568
♪ Children playing,
having fun ♪
164
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,769
♪ It's the season ♪
165
00:10:01,836 --> 00:10:05,172
♪ Love and understanding ♪
166
00:10:05,239 --> 00:10:09,511
♪ Merry Christmas, everyone ♪
167
00:10:09,578 --> 00:10:12,146
♪ Oh, snow is falling ♪
168
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:26,827
All right. Mr Mac.
169
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:29,598
Mr Mac.
170
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,866
Mr Mac, we're here.
171
00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:48,716
What are you talking about?
172
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,751
Where's Big Ben?
173
00:10:50,818 --> 00:10:52,587
Harrods? Downton Abbey?
174
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,723
Nah, we missed all that,
sleepyhead,
175
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,959
but welcome, Mr Mac,
to the Savoy.
176
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,796
Now there is currently
no running water,
177
00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,266
but you don't mind
skipping a shower day, do you?
178
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:08,736
-Is this some kind of a joke?
-Is what a joke?
179
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,640
Where the hell's London?
180
00:11:12,106 --> 00:11:14,275
Well, it's three hours
that way, sir.
181
00:11:20,381 --> 00:11:22,283
You are good, my friend.
182
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,586
So this is some kind of
hidden camera show.
183
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:25,753
I got it from here.
184
00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:29,957
Hey, Jimmy Kimmel, come out from
wherever you're hiding, dude.
185
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:37,364
Yeah.
Erm, this is your hotel, Mr Mac.
186
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,234
All the big turns
stay at the Savoy Guest House
187
00:11:40,301 --> 00:11:43,237
when they're performing at
Stoneford's Theatre Royal.
188
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,778
Yeah. I'll show you.
189
00:11:53,682 --> 00:11:55,282
Fine.
I'll play along.
190
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:05,893
-Wow.
-What the...
191
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:13,434
♪ It's beginning to look
a lot like Christmas ♪
192
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:16,270
There he is!
193
00:12:17,338 --> 00:12:19,273
Get him! Get him!
194
00:12:39,661 --> 00:12:41,663
Excuse me.
Hello.
195
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:46,133
Darling, Brad,
here you are at last.
196
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:51,305
- Welcome to Stoneford,
- Welcome to Stoneford.
197
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,307
He's even more gorgeous
in the flesh.
198
00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:57,044
I'm Callum. The Prince.
Massive fan, mate.
199
00:12:57,612 --> 00:13:00,147
The only need is... yeah.
200
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,348
Yeah.
201
00:13:01,415 --> 00:13:03,117
Not exactly sure
what's going on here,
202
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,586
but obviously there's
203
00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,954
-been some kind of...
-Brenda. Fairy godmother.
204
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:11,959
Izzy, Cinderella.
205
00:13:13,728 --> 00:13:15,296
-Fanny.
-And Annie.
206
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,164
-We're the ugly stepsisters.
-We do it every Christmas.
207
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:19,734
-Yeah, and on birthdays.
-Oh, you are filthy!
208
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:24,038
Bababa, Bababa. Russell.
Baron Hardup.
209
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,240
Hilda from box office.
210
00:13:27,575 --> 00:13:29,043
Jean the cleaner.
211
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:31,979
Jonty on sound.
212
00:13:32,714 --> 00:13:33,947
Frank on lights.
213
00:13:35,449 --> 00:13:36,785
Neigh.
214
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,754
Your distinguished director
Cassandra Collins, OBE,
215
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:40,888
under me, over me.
216
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:47,094
-And you are?
-Jill, the choreographer.
217
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:51,098
And I hate to be a realist,
but we've only got a few days
218
00:13:51,165 --> 00:13:52,900
to get this show on the road.
219
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,201
So if everyone's
finished fawning,
220
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,003
let's take it
from the top of act one.
221
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:57,739
You'll need these tap shoes.
222
00:13:57,806 --> 00:14:02,376
Er, stop. Everybody.
Just stop for a second, please.
223
00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,779
Again, not sure
what's happening here.
224
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,081
But I definitely did not
sign up for this.
225
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,283
Sorry, for what, duck?
226
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:12,119
This, whatever this is.
What is this?
227
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:13,921
A low-rent production of Cats?
228
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:14,922
Darling.
229
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,357
It's a pantomime.
230
00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:17,525
A panto-what?
231
00:14:17,592 --> 00:14:19,527
Cinderella!
232
00:14:19,594 --> 00:14:21,428
And you are our Buttons.
233
00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:23,163
Oh, no, I'm not!
234
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,099
Oh, yes, you are!
235
00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:28,603
Is it the large, padded horse
that's throwing you off?
236
00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:34,509
Okay. Brenda, darling,
why don't you show him?
237
00:14:34,576 --> 00:14:35,943
Show me what?
238
00:14:44,552 --> 00:14:49,356
Pantomime, Brad,
or panto for short,
239
00:14:49,858 --> 00:14:51,992
is an annual British tradition.
240
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,261
A quintessential part
of Christmas.
241
00:14:54,696 --> 00:14:56,964
Think fairy tales, but fun!
242
00:14:57,030 --> 00:15:01,001
Aladdin, Cinderella,
Dick Whittington...
243
00:15:02,837 --> 00:15:04,171
I beg your pardon?
244
00:15:04,506 --> 00:15:07,374
You've got men dressed as women.
Women dressed as men.
245
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:12,279
Horses played by people plus
pop songs and pyrotechnics.
246
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,850
Always a happy ending
247
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:20,822
with an enormous explosion
covering the whole auditorium.
248
00:15:21,756 --> 00:15:25,259
Brenda, try not to be so crude.
There are children present.
249
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:31,198
Double entendres too, Brad,
you like those, I'm sure.
250
00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:36,069
Mind you, there're a lot
to get your mouth around.
251
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:40,007
Alright, my darlings, we begin.
252
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:47,549
Oh my God.
253
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,020
♪ You look like fun to me ♪
254
00:15:53,555 --> 00:15:57,057
♪ You look a little like
somebody I know ♪
255
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,492
Come on, sheeple!
256
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,461
♪ How this ends because ♪
257
00:16:00,528 --> 00:16:03,263
♪ I'll be in your head
all weekend ♪
258
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:06,568
♪ Shivers and butterflies ♪
259
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:09,938
♪ I get the shivers
when I look into your eyes ♪
260
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:13,140
♪ And I can tell
that you're all in ♪
261
00:16:13,808 --> 00:16:15,877
♪ Because I can hear
your heart beating ♪
262
00:16:15,944 --> 00:16:19,313
♪ Padam, padam, padam ♪
263
00:16:19,379 --> 00:16:21,381
♪ I hear it and I know ♪
264
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:24,853
♪ Padam, padam, I know
you want to take me home ♪
265
00:16:24,919 --> 00:16:25,954
Keep up the energy.
266
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,723
Remember,
people are paying for this.
267
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,492
♪ When your heart goes padam ♪
268
00:16:32,627 --> 00:16:35,295
It'll all make sense
eventually, dear.
269
00:16:35,897 --> 00:16:38,566
♪ I know you want
to take me home, padam ♪
270
00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:42,336
♪ And take off all my clothes,
padam, padam ♪
271
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:46,240
♪ When your heart goes padam ♪
272
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:48,743
Ha-ha! Yes!
273
00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:50,177
Right.
Thank you.
274
00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:51,746
Thank you.
275
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,782
Thank you for wasting my time.
276
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:55,984
Good luck.
277
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,653
Never say good luck
in the theatre, Brad.
278
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,721
Yeah.
279
00:16:59,787 --> 00:17:01,623
We're cursed.
280
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:04,626
Brad.
What's the problem?
281
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,861
You're kidding.
What's the problem?
282
00:17:06,928 --> 00:17:08,596
Okay, here's the problem.
283
00:17:08,663 --> 00:17:10,698
I'm stuck here in Hookeyville
somewhere north of nowhere,
284
00:17:10,765 --> 00:17:14,434
surrounded by singing sheep
and ageing alcoholics.
285
00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:16,270
Okay.
You are my agent.
286
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:19,273
You need to get me out of here
as quickly as possible.
287
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:22,911
Oh, but Brad, you did
read the script, right?
288
00:17:22,977 --> 00:17:24,211
No, not, not...
289
00:17:24,278 --> 00:17:25,647
And the terms of the contract?
290
00:17:26,848 --> 00:17:28,650
Get out of the road, you idiot.
291
00:17:28,716 --> 00:17:30,417
Exactly.
292
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,119
Look, honey,
I've been your agent for years,
293
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:35,289
and the fact of the matter is,
you're lazy, ungrateful,
294
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:36,925
and I've had just about
enough rider requests
295
00:17:36,991 --> 00:17:38,125
for one lifetime.
296
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,193
Nobody needs
a new pair of briefs
297
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,864
every single day.
298
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:46,768
Brad Apollo Mac, it gives me
the greatest of pleasures
299
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,603
to finally say, you're fired.
300
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:52,406
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You are fired.
301
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,274
Too late, buster.
You're already off the books.
302
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,143
You're gonna
hear from my lawyer.
303
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,245
Who cares?
Your lawyer hates you too.
304
00:17:58,312 --> 00:17:59,781
Merry Christmas, Buttons.
305
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:08,155
I wouldn't worry about it, mate.
Gandalf's done it too.
306
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,456
He still does, in fact.
307
00:18:09,524 --> 00:18:11,391
Sir Ian McKellen's
done pantomime?
308
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,460
Oh, yeah.
All the big names.
309
00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:16,296
David Hasselhoff,
Pamela Anderson,
310
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,066
Barry off EastEnders.
311
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,701
-Eh?
-I'm dead.
312
00:18:22,336 --> 00:18:24,038
All right then.
313
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:25,439
Here we are.
314
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:28,710
Wow.
315
00:18:30,778 --> 00:18:32,780
I don't really need
a themed room,
316
00:18:32,847 --> 00:18:34,682
a regular one'll do.
317
00:18:34,749 --> 00:18:36,450
What you mean, themed?
318
00:18:46,828 --> 00:18:47,862
Hello, girls.
319
00:18:47,929 --> 00:18:49,631
Kieran, what are you doing here?
320
00:18:49,697 --> 00:18:51,966
I'm not gonna let you walk home
in the dark on your own, am I?
321
00:18:52,033 --> 00:18:54,936
-So jump in the motor.
-It's a short walk. We're fine.
322
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,470
It's winter, Jill.
323
00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:58,338
There's a lot of naughty people
knocking about,
324
00:18:58,405 --> 00:18:59,641
you know, like burglars.
325
00:18:59,707 --> 00:19:01,743
Oh, you've heard
about that, have you?
326
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:03,077
Of course I have.
327
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,579
-Everyone's talking about it.
-Yeah.
328
00:19:04,646 --> 00:19:06,213
Well, I hope you're not
mixed up in any of it.
329
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,750
Put the top up, Kieran.
It's freezing.
330
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,785
How's my baby?
331
00:19:10,852 --> 00:19:11,919
I'm 13.
332
00:19:11,986 --> 00:19:13,721
Well, you'll always be my baby.
333
00:19:13,788 --> 00:19:16,223
You're looking forward
to spending Christmas
334
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,525
with your old dad this year?
335
00:19:17,592 --> 00:19:19,226
-What?
-It's my turn.
336
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,428
She's got a part in the panto.
337
00:19:21,495 --> 00:19:22,730
We discussed this.
338
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,099
Well, that was before I knew
that you were both working
339
00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:26,934
with that Killing Time mug.
340
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:28,235
So, yeah.
341
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,237
Christmas with
all your London cousins.
342
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,406
You'd like that,
wouldn't you, Cara?
343
00:19:36,077 --> 00:19:37,779
Oh, well, I'll give you a bell.
344
00:19:38,746 --> 00:19:40,280
Love you, baby.
345
00:19:57,397 --> 00:20:01,102
No, that's disgusting.
346
00:20:04,105 --> 00:20:05,338
Oh, crap.
347
00:20:10,578 --> 00:20:12,113
Hey, Grace, how are you?
348
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:13,548
Oh, Brad, are you in England?
349
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:19,252
Er, yeah, I'm at a
silent shamanic retreat.
350
00:20:19,987 --> 00:20:20,988
Mmm.
351
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:23,256
Mmm.
352
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,126
Mmm.
353
00:20:25,193 --> 00:20:27,327
Any plans
to see your daughter at all?
354
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,064
Can't really talk right now.
Gotta stay quiet.
355
00:20:30,131 --> 00:20:31,199
Convenient.
356
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,534
Emma, darling, it's Daddy.
357
00:20:33,601 --> 00:20:37,138
Okay, fine, Grace. I was
supposed to do a play here.
358
00:20:37,205 --> 00:20:38,606
Okay?
In the theatre.
359
00:20:38,673 --> 00:20:41,441
Exciting times.
Who's the playwright, Brad?
360
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:43,911
-Oh, Spencer, you're there too?
-Marlow? Jonson?
361
00:20:43,978 --> 00:20:46,413
It's gonna be down
in Stoneford, okay?
362
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:49,282
Hey, Em.
Hi, sweetheart.
363
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,451
Hi, Dad.
Mum says you're in England.
364
00:20:51,519 --> 00:20:52,754
That's right, governor.
365
00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:55,556
-Don't do the accent.
-Yeah. Okay.
366
00:20:55,623 --> 00:20:57,424
Look, sweetheart,
the sad thing is I don't think
367
00:20:57,491 --> 00:20:58,726
I'm gonna
be able to see you on this trip.
368
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:00,928
Well, but you said that
last time.
369
00:21:00,995 --> 00:21:03,865
-And the time before that.
-And the time before that.
370
00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:07,168
I know, I know, okay.
But this time is not my fault.
371
00:21:07,235 --> 00:21:08,870
I'm not gonna be here long.
372
00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:10,403
I've been conned.
373
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,906
They weren't even gonna
give me a Winnebago.
374
00:21:11,973 --> 00:21:14,341
But what about Christmas?
375
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,343
Christmas.
376
00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:18,713
Ugh.
Oh, honey, I am so sorry.
377
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,982
I promise I'm gonna
make it up to you, okay?
378
00:21:21,048 --> 00:21:23,050
Hey, you liked
that Amazon gift card
379
00:21:23,117 --> 00:21:24,619
I gave you last year, right?
380
00:21:24,685 --> 00:21:26,419
That way you can get
exactly what you want.
381
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,889
Don't worry, Dad.
382
00:21:27,955 --> 00:21:29,891
Mum always told me to
manage my expectations.
383
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,026
A pretty good
life lesson, actually.
384
00:21:32,093 --> 00:21:33,828
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
385
00:21:33,895 --> 00:21:35,530
Please don't be mad
at me, okay?
386
00:21:35,596 --> 00:21:37,464
I promise
I will make it up to you.
387
00:21:37,899 --> 00:21:40,400
But now you sleep tight,
my little angel.
388
00:21:54,682 --> 00:21:57,785
Oh no,
this is actually happening.
389
00:22:07,995 --> 00:22:09,564
Wait, Mr Mac.
390
00:22:11,599 --> 00:22:13,234
I gotta say, Mr Mac,
391
00:22:13,301 --> 00:22:16,304
I'm surprised you didn't flee
in the middle of the night.
392
00:22:17,872 --> 00:22:20,407
Imagine that.
Mad dash to the airport,
393
00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:22,210
straight onto a private jet.
394
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:24,979
But then again, I know you
wouldn't do that to us.
395
00:22:27,748 --> 00:22:30,417
That's a big bag
for a rehearsal, innit?
396
00:22:35,623 --> 00:22:37,558
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
397
00:22:40,995 --> 00:22:42,029
Excuse me?
398
00:22:42,563 --> 00:22:43,798
Sign in please.
399
00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:44,932
Mr Mac.
400
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,336
It's ten past ten.
You are late.
401
00:22:48,435 --> 00:22:50,271
It's fine. I won't be staying.
402
00:22:50,938 --> 00:22:53,307
Why is my name
not at the top of the list?
403
00:22:53,841 --> 00:22:56,077
Well, it's alphabetical, Mr Mac.
404
00:22:57,712 --> 00:22:58,746
Huh.
405
00:22:59,814 --> 00:23:03,351
The name's Albert, by the way.
406
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:07,822
Albert with an A.
I know your game.
407
00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:13,861
Yeah.
408
00:23:23,070 --> 00:23:24,505
Ciao, Brad.
409
00:23:24,572 --> 00:23:25,539
Yeah, I know.
410
00:23:25,606 --> 00:23:26,841
Hello.
Goodbye.
411
00:23:26,908 --> 00:23:28,009
So sad.
412
00:23:28,075 --> 00:23:29,510
Now, I take it
you've read the script.
413
00:23:29,577 --> 00:23:30,912
Sandra,
if I had read this script,
414
00:23:30,978 --> 00:23:32,647
I wouldn't have
gotten on the plane.
415
00:23:32,713 --> 00:23:34,081
You are hilarious.
416
00:23:34,148 --> 00:23:36,350
So we're gonna be starting
with scene three.
417
00:23:36,483 --> 00:23:38,753
It's a tricky one, mind.
Wonderful.
418
00:23:38,819 --> 00:23:40,521
Places, please, darlings.
419
00:23:41,188 --> 00:23:43,490
Oh, hello, Buttons.
There you are.
420
00:23:43,524 --> 00:23:46,260
Weren't you supposed to be with
the fairy in the dairy?
421
00:23:46,327 --> 00:23:48,162
-The fairy in the dairy, Fanny?
-That's right, Annie.
422
00:23:48,229 --> 00:23:49,964
Far better
than being on the hunt with...
423
00:23:50,031 --> 00:23:51,999
Wait a second. Why is there
plastic on the floor?
424
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,703
And why are you wearing a wig?
In the script it says...
425
00:23:59,307 --> 00:24:00,708
Son of a bitch!
426
00:24:01,142 --> 00:24:03,544
You should have known
from my contract.
427
00:24:03,611 --> 00:24:05,146
I don't do my own stunts.
428
00:24:05,212 --> 00:24:06,647
Somebody call me a car!
429
00:24:06,714 --> 00:24:08,049
You're a car.
430
00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:09,951
-You're a jerk.
-Don't worry, Bradders.
431
00:24:10,017 --> 00:24:12,520
It was an absolute honour to
be punched in the face by you.
432
00:24:12,586 --> 00:24:14,388
You can even do it harder
next time.
433
00:24:14,522 --> 00:24:16,057
Oh, yeah,
Brad, she likes it hard.
434
00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,058
Ooh, Fanny.
435
00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:18,626
Okay, that's it. I quit.
436
00:24:18,693 --> 00:24:20,594
I'm on the red eye tonight.
437
00:24:20,661 --> 00:24:22,563
Have you got
pink eye, darling?
438
00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:24,332
I've got a cream
that's good for that.
439
00:24:24,398 --> 00:24:26,233
What's wrong with you people?
440
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:29,303
Actually, Brad, darling,
you, erm, you can't quit.
441
00:24:29,370 --> 00:24:31,305
Excuse me?
442
00:24:31,372 --> 00:24:32,606
Oh, yes.
443
00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:33,874
Cassie's right, darling.
444
00:24:34,342 --> 00:24:36,844
Your clever little agent
added in a liability clause.
445
00:24:36,911 --> 00:24:38,079
Yep.
446
00:24:38,145 --> 00:24:39,914
If you fail to perform
even just one show,
447
00:24:39,981 --> 00:24:41,549
you're liable to be sued for
448
00:24:41,582 --> 00:24:43,317
loss of proceeds
for the entire run.
449
00:24:43,384 --> 00:24:47,822
Ooh, I think I might be able
to muster the six bucks.
450
00:24:47,888 --> 00:24:49,123
Mm. The last time I looked,
451
00:24:49,190 --> 00:24:50,791
I think
it was two million pounds.
452
00:24:50,858 --> 00:24:52,727
Three million, actually.
453
00:24:53,094 --> 00:24:54,996
You see, Christmas pantomimes
make the money
454
00:24:55,062 --> 00:24:56,931
that keeps theatres open
all year round.
455
00:24:56,998 --> 00:24:58,833
Without that revenue,
a lot of theatres
456
00:24:58,899 --> 00:25:01,202
would be forced to close down.
457
00:25:01,268 --> 00:25:02,303
This one included.
458
00:25:02,370 --> 00:25:03,838
Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Yeah.
459
00:25:03,904 --> 00:25:05,906
That is three million pounds,
not dollars.
460
00:25:06,607 --> 00:25:07,842
Okay, darling.
461
00:25:09,710 --> 00:25:11,412
I'm gonna need some privacy.
462
00:25:11,479 --> 00:25:14,215
Oh. Please don't go, Brad.
463
00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:20,054
Hate you, Brad? No.
Why would I hate you?
464
00:25:20,121 --> 00:25:22,223
Your NDAs alone
paid for my new pool.
465
00:25:22,289 --> 00:25:23,824
Okay, good.
466
00:25:23,891 --> 00:25:28,062
Good. That's great.
So am I free?
467
00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:33,768
Well, sadly, Brad,
the contract's pretty tight.
468
00:25:33,834 --> 00:25:36,370
Unless there's some
kind of force majeure.
469
00:25:36,437 --> 00:25:39,673
An explosion, tsunami,
collapse of the Western world,
470
00:25:39,740 --> 00:25:42,410
which, let's face it,
isn't far away.
471
00:25:42,877 --> 00:25:44,712
You're doing this, I'm afraid.
472
00:25:44,779 --> 00:25:46,614
No, no, no, Sukie, please.
473
00:25:46,614 --> 00:25:47,848
I can't.
474
00:25:48,449 --> 00:25:49,750
Why is this happening to me?
475
00:25:49,817 --> 00:25:52,720
Well, your agent
made a pretty solid deal.
476
00:25:53,254 --> 00:25:54,622
Judas.
477
00:25:54,622 --> 00:25:56,624
No, Julie.
You really gotta get better
478
00:25:56,657 --> 00:25:58,959
at remembering people's name.
479
00:26:00,327 --> 00:26:01,629
Hey...
480
00:26:03,631 --> 00:26:06,233
What if I just walked,
got on a plane and went home?
481
00:26:06,300 --> 00:26:09,804
Oh, then they will sue
and trust me, they will win.
482
00:26:09,870 --> 00:26:12,139
But, hey, look on
the bright side, Brad,
483
00:26:12,206 --> 00:26:15,076
this pantomime thing's
surprisingly well paid.
484
00:26:15,142 --> 00:26:16,343
It is?
485
00:26:16,410 --> 00:26:20,549
Sure, and given
the state of your finances,
486
00:26:20,648 --> 00:26:22,650
I would stay put if I were you.
487
00:26:22,650 --> 00:26:24,218
What about my finances?
488
00:26:24,285 --> 00:26:25,319
Oh, Brad, please.
489
00:26:25,686 --> 00:26:28,523
Five houses, one divorce,
490
00:26:28,656 --> 00:26:31,125
200 K a year on tulips.
491
00:26:31,192 --> 00:26:33,360
Your spending
is out of control.
492
00:26:33,427 --> 00:26:35,463
Why can't anyone get this right?
493
00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:37,164
It was $200,000 over two years.
494
00:26:37,231 --> 00:26:40,768
And they weren't tulips.
They were orchids from Namibia.
495
00:26:41,235 --> 00:26:43,104
Well, Namibia
it in the butt, pal,
496
00:26:43,170 --> 00:26:48,242
because the bottom line is,
it's Buttons or bust.
497
00:26:57,218 --> 00:26:58,252
I'm screwed.
498
00:27:04,024 --> 00:27:05,392
Everybody's a comedian.
499
00:27:07,027 --> 00:27:10,097
Right then, what can I get you?
Oh, hello, Brad.
500
00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:12,534
-So you work here too?
-Course I do.
501
00:27:12,601 --> 00:27:14,603
Cost of living, mate,
can never have too many jobs.
502
00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:18,172
You're telling me. I used to be
the face of Breitling,
503
00:27:18,239 --> 00:27:19,306
Gucci, Constipate.
504
00:27:19,874 --> 00:27:20,908
Exactly as it sounds.
505
00:27:21,275 --> 00:27:23,545
Anyways, I'll have
a sparkling kombucha,
506
00:27:23,612 --> 00:27:25,614
a pistachio quinoa power bowl,
507
00:27:25,713 --> 00:27:27,414
and a side order of
organic kale,
508
00:27:27,481 --> 00:27:28,782
low-alkaline please.
509
00:27:28,849 --> 00:27:30,484
-Yeah, we don't have that.
-Which part?
510
00:27:30,552 --> 00:27:31,986
Any of it.
511
00:27:34,488 --> 00:27:35,723
Fine. I'll take your average,
512
00:27:35,756 --> 00:27:37,391
run-of-the-mill sushi.
Thank you.
513
00:27:40,194 --> 00:27:41,228
Hi, Brad.
514
00:27:41,729 --> 00:27:43,097
Hello, teenage girl.
515
00:27:44,765 --> 00:27:47,334
I'm in the pantomime. Cara.
516
00:27:47,868 --> 00:27:51,238
-Of course you are.
-For the Gram.
517
00:27:51,305 --> 00:27:53,941
Oh, God.
I wish I had a gram right now.
518
00:28:01,516 --> 00:28:04,952
Listen, Brad, I just wanted
to apologise for yesterday
519
00:28:05,019 --> 00:28:06,453
for being a bit rude.
520
00:28:06,521 --> 00:28:08,489
It's just we don't have
much time to rehearse.
521
00:28:08,557 --> 00:28:11,759
And you being five days late
wasn't exactly helpful.
522
00:28:11,792 --> 00:28:12,826
I'm five days late?
523
00:28:12,893 --> 00:28:15,062
Oh, like you didn't know that.
524
00:28:15,129 --> 00:28:17,765
Of course not. 'Cause I'm not
supposed to be here.
525
00:28:17,765 --> 00:28:19,033
My agent tricked me.
526
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,670
I'm supposed to be playing
Macbeth at the Globe.
527
00:28:22,102 --> 00:28:24,171
Oh, well,
you'd freeze your tits off.
528
00:28:24,238 --> 00:28:26,541
That place doesn't even
have a roof.
529
00:28:27,841 --> 00:28:31,680
Okay. This was my chance to be
taken seriously as an actor.
530
00:28:32,012 --> 00:28:34,583
And now that's
not gonna happen.
531
00:28:34,649 --> 00:28:36,217
Pantomime is serious.
532
00:28:36,283 --> 00:28:40,221
I'm starting to think you
might be a little serious.
533
00:28:40,287 --> 00:28:42,790
You have a daughter,
don't you, Brad? Emma.
534
00:28:42,790 --> 00:28:44,559
Yes. I may have Wikipedia-ed it.
535
00:28:45,159 --> 00:28:49,096
Can you just imagine her looking
at you on the stage putting
536
00:28:49,163 --> 00:28:51,832
massive smiles
on everyone's faces?
537
00:28:51,899 --> 00:28:53,367
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
538
00:28:53,434 --> 00:28:56,070
Not exactly the world's greatest
dad right now.
539
00:28:56,605 --> 00:28:59,406
Kids are for life, Brad,
not just for Christmas.
540
00:29:00,975 --> 00:29:03,010
And think of Stoneford too.
541
00:29:03,077 --> 00:29:05,813
Do you honestly think
anyone's gonna care?
542
00:29:06,615 --> 00:29:08,082
Er, hello. Look around.
543
00:29:10,985 --> 00:29:12,654
So if you're thinking
of leaving us, Mr Mac,
544
00:29:12,721 --> 00:29:14,021
better do so soon
545
00:29:14,088 --> 00:29:16,423
'cause we'd need
to find another Buttons.
546
00:29:18,325 --> 00:29:20,629
-What the hell is that?
-Sushi.
547
00:29:20,695 --> 00:29:21,929
I googled it.
548
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:28,836
Well, it looks like you win.
549
00:29:29,970 --> 00:29:31,438
I, Bradley Mac,
550
00:29:31,506 --> 00:29:34,341
three-time Razzie nominee,
will be your Buttons.
551
00:29:34,942 --> 00:29:36,877
-Bravo!
-Marvellous!
552
00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:38,279
Hey,
it's dead flattering that, Brad.
553
00:29:38,345 --> 00:29:39,748
Welcome to
the madhouse, darling.
554
00:29:39,847 --> 00:29:41,882
-Who wants a gin?
-Brenda. Not now.
555
00:29:41,949 --> 00:29:43,350
First things first.
556
00:29:43,417 --> 00:29:45,119
I wanna start
with the motivational speech
557
00:29:45,185 --> 00:29:46,655
between Buttons and Cinderella.
558
00:29:46,721 --> 00:29:48,856
Er, sorry, darling...
559
00:29:48,889 --> 00:29:50,725
Erm, motivational speech?
560
00:29:50,858 --> 00:29:52,661
Yeah. Where he tells her
to stay strong
561
00:29:52,727 --> 00:29:54,328
in the face of adversity.
562
00:29:54,395 --> 00:29:55,996
I've done it a hundred times.
Remember? Killing Time 2.
563
00:29:56,063 --> 00:29:58,966
-I was four when that came out.
-Yeah, same.
564
00:29:59,567 --> 00:30:02,036
All I have to do is get my head
in the character
565
00:30:02,102 --> 00:30:04,471
and it should be smooth sailing
from there.
566
00:30:04,539 --> 00:30:07,941
Absolutely, darling,
give us your best shot.
567
00:30:11,078 --> 00:30:13,748
Oh, heavens. He's gonna go
all Method on us, Brenda.
568
00:30:13,814 --> 00:30:15,182
He's not the only one.
569
00:30:17,951 --> 00:30:20,054
Don't cry, Cinderella.
570
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,022
Your stepmother
and stepsister are mean
571
00:30:22,089 --> 00:30:23,824
because that's their nature.
572
00:30:25,125 --> 00:30:27,562
Things will get better.
573
00:30:27,629 --> 00:30:29,163
You just have to believe.
574
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:33,535
And magic will happen.
575
00:30:35,670 --> 00:30:39,273
Can I just, er,
stop you for a moment, Brad?
576
00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:41,909
Too good? I don't want
to show up the others.
577
00:30:41,975 --> 00:30:44,178
Almost too good. Yup.
578
00:30:44,244 --> 00:30:47,948
Now, Brad, darling, you are
used to film where the camera
579
00:30:48,015 --> 00:30:49,517
can give you
a lovely big close-up
580
00:30:49,584 --> 00:30:51,285
with the microphone
and the edits.
581
00:30:51,352 --> 00:30:53,887
Hey, I'm ready for my close-up,
Mr Mac.
582
00:30:53,954 --> 00:30:55,489
No one's interested
in your muscles, Callum.
583
00:30:55,557 --> 00:30:58,158
-Speak for yourself, love.
-Want a go on that?
584
00:30:58,225 --> 00:31:00,227
But on stage,
it is completely different.
585
00:31:00,294 --> 00:31:04,298
You have to project,
you have to go big.
586
00:31:04,365 --> 00:31:05,366
I know that.
587
00:31:05,432 --> 00:31:06,166
I know that.
588
00:31:06,233 --> 00:31:08,068
Louder.
Louder.
589
00:31:08,135 --> 00:31:11,372
-Okay. Big, big.
-Gorgeous.
590
00:31:12,473 --> 00:31:15,510
And... action!
591
00:31:16,544 --> 00:31:19,012
Don't cry, Cinderella!
592
00:31:19,079 --> 00:31:21,248
Your stepmother and stepsisters
are mean to you
593
00:31:21,315 --> 00:31:22,950
because it's their nature!
594
00:31:23,951 --> 00:31:26,153
Things will get better!
595
00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:29,657
Something like that?
596
00:31:30,057 --> 00:31:32,993
-Mm-hmm. Mm.
-We're screwed.
597
00:31:38,566 --> 00:31:40,668
Grace.
How's my favourite ex-wife?
598
00:31:40,735 --> 00:31:41,736
Oh, what do you care?
599
00:31:42,369 --> 00:31:46,039
Now, listen,
you can pick Emma up tomorrow.
600
00:31:46,106 --> 00:31:48,610
You should consider yourself
very lucky.
601
00:31:48,676 --> 00:31:50,077
-Tomorrow?
-Yes.
602
00:31:50,512 --> 00:31:52,980
And do not
let her down this time.
603
00:31:52,980 --> 00:31:54,549
What do you mean, this time?
604
00:31:54,616 --> 00:31:55,617
Oh, come on, Brad.
605
00:31:55,683 --> 00:31:56,984
Forget the Oscars.
606
00:31:56,984 --> 00:31:58,285
You are literally first in line
607
00:31:58,352 --> 00:32:00,588
for Worst parent
of the Year award.
608
00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:03,558
Some parents are just
so selfish, aren't they?
609
00:32:04,726 --> 00:32:06,026
What the...?
610
00:32:07,361 --> 00:32:09,096
-I'll be there.
-Good.
611
00:32:14,602 --> 00:32:17,171
Oh, Brad, I'm so sorry, mate.
Come here.
612
00:32:17,237 --> 00:32:18,873
-Don't.
-Yeah, no, fair enough.
613
00:32:19,006 --> 00:32:21,074
-We've been broken into.
-What?
614
00:32:21,141 --> 00:32:22,677
Yeah.
Your suite's been ransacked.
615
00:32:22,744 --> 00:32:25,078
Why don't you just get me
another room with a bigger lock?
616
00:32:25,145 --> 00:32:28,415
I would love to, but we,
we are chock full of Santas
617
00:32:28,482 --> 00:32:30,017
and we're the only hotel
in town.
618
00:32:30,718 --> 00:32:34,622
Well then, Mr Mac, you'd better
come and stay at my place.
619
00:32:35,289 --> 00:32:37,892
Thank you, Albert.
But I don't want to put you out.
620
00:32:38,025 --> 00:32:39,828
Oh, it's fine.
621
00:32:40,461 --> 00:32:43,330
We'll find a way
to squeeze you in.
622
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:48,770
I could bring whatever's
left of your stuff.
623
00:32:48,837 --> 00:32:50,070
Thanks, Nigel.
624
00:32:51,205 --> 00:32:53,040
Yeah, you're welcome, mate.
625
00:32:54,909 --> 00:32:56,143
Stay safe.
626
00:33:05,753 --> 00:33:08,823
Wow. It was
very thoughtful of you, Alby.
627
00:33:08,890 --> 00:33:10,758
Hey, Albert, please.
628
00:33:11,325 --> 00:33:12,760
Really like
the electric car too.
629
00:33:12,827 --> 00:33:14,328
Very green of you.
630
00:33:15,062 --> 00:33:16,230
What's all this?
631
00:33:16,798 --> 00:33:21,168
This is my life, my whole life.
632
00:33:22,369 --> 00:33:23,403
Huh.
633
00:33:26,641 --> 00:33:28,141
You're upstairs.
634
00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:29,744
Er, first floor.
635
00:33:45,359 --> 00:33:47,494
-I've got a question.
-The answer is yes.
636
00:33:47,929 --> 00:33:49,296
Madly in love with each other,
637
00:33:49,363 --> 00:33:51,398
but no,
neither of them has a clue.
638
00:33:54,268 --> 00:33:55,302
I'll get it.
639
00:33:55,369 --> 00:33:56,905
-Yeah.
-I'll get it.
640
00:33:56,971 --> 00:33:58,405
Right. Brad.
641
00:33:58,472 --> 00:34:00,240
Dare I say, we're gonna
attempt to put you in.
642
00:34:00,307 --> 00:34:01,609
-God help us.
-Fine.
643
00:34:01,676 --> 00:34:03,711
Just remember,
I don't do my own stunts.
644
00:34:04,211 --> 00:34:05,880
You don't do your own stunts.
645
00:34:05,947 --> 00:34:06,981
Got it.
646
00:34:07,515 --> 00:34:09,717
Right. To save time,
we're gonna divvy up
647
00:34:09,784 --> 00:34:11,485
some your lines to other people.
648
00:34:14,121 --> 00:34:17,190
I'm a light tenor.
How about you?
649
00:34:18,225 --> 00:34:20,193
A little heavier,
but I can sing.
650
00:34:20,762 --> 00:34:21,963
Jill, is this a good time
651
00:34:22,030 --> 00:34:23,130
to tell you
that I can actually sing
652
00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:24,632
and I'm a pretty good dancer?
653
00:34:25,132 --> 00:34:26,300
Of course you are.
654
00:34:30,237 --> 00:34:31,506
Callum.
655
00:34:35,910 --> 00:34:40,815
♪ It's the most
wonderful time of the year ♪
656
00:34:42,817 --> 00:34:47,354
♪ With the kids jingle belling
and everyone telling you ♪
657
00:34:47,421 --> 00:34:48,957
♪ Be of good cheer ♪
658
00:34:49,691 --> 00:34:55,697
♪ It's the most
wonderful time of the year ♪
659
00:34:56,631 --> 00:35:01,435
♪ It's the hap-happiest
season of all ♪
660
00:35:03,270 --> 00:35:07,207
♪ With those holiday greetings
and gay happy meetings ♪
661
00:35:07,274 --> 00:35:09,476
♪ When friends come to call ♪
662
00:35:10,177 --> 00:35:16,283
♪ It's the most
wonderful time of the year ♪
663
00:35:17,351 --> 00:35:19,419
♪ There'll be parties
for hosting ♪
664
00:35:19,486 --> 00:35:21,254
♪ Marshmallows for toasting ♪
665
00:35:21,321 --> 00:35:23,992
♪ And carolling out
in the snow ♪
666
00:35:24,058 --> 00:35:26,293
♪ There'll be
scary ghost stories ♪
667
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,195
♪And tales of the glories of ♪
668
00:35:28,228 --> 00:35:32,000
♪ Christmases long, long ago ♪
669
00:35:33,034 --> 00:35:37,805
♪ It's the most
wonderful time of the year ♪
670
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:43,377
♪ There'll be much mistletoeing
and hearts will be glowing ♪
671
00:35:43,443 --> 00:35:46,480
♪ When loved ones are near ♪
672
00:35:46,547 --> 00:35:49,584
♪ It's the most
wonderful time ♪
673
00:35:49,651 --> 00:35:53,320
♪ Yes, the most
wonderful time ♪
674
00:35:53,387 --> 00:35:58,225
♪ Oh, the most wonderful time ♪
675
00:35:58,225 --> 00:36:01,996
♪ Of the year ♪
676
00:36:02,063 --> 00:36:04,732
Bravo!
677
00:36:06,433 --> 00:36:09,704
♪ It's the most
wonderful time ♪
678
00:36:09,771 --> 00:36:13,508
♪ It's the most
wonderful time ♪
679
00:36:13,574 --> 00:36:18,680
♪ It's the most wonderful time
of the year ♪
680
00:36:21,281 --> 00:36:23,383
Ah, this is gonna be
our best panto ever.
681
00:36:23,450 --> 00:36:25,252
Yeah, that was supposed
to be my song.
682
00:36:25,252 --> 00:36:26,621
Oh, Russell,
darling, don't worry.
683
00:36:26,688 --> 00:36:28,488
You can take a lead
on another one.
684
00:36:28,556 --> 00:36:30,124
Yeah. Only if I get to pick.
685
00:36:30,625 --> 00:36:33,260
I'd like to do
Engelbert Humperdink's
686
00:36:33,260 --> 00:36:35,262
Only With a Man Without Love.
687
00:36:35,262 --> 00:36:38,132
Hmm.
That'll really get them going.
688
00:36:38,265 --> 00:36:39,801
It used to, darling.
689
00:36:39,867 --> 00:36:40,902
Izzy. What's going on?
690
00:36:40,968 --> 00:36:42,537
Oh, no.
691
00:36:42,603 --> 00:36:44,939
It's all right, Brad.
We don't have to do this.
692
00:36:45,006 --> 00:36:46,040
Do what?
693
00:36:46,774 --> 00:36:49,844
Well, I know you like to date
your co-stars, but seriously,
694
00:36:49,911 --> 00:36:51,779
you're old enough
to be my granddad.
695
00:36:52,847 --> 00:36:53,881
Wow.
696
00:36:55,550 --> 00:36:56,483
Wow.
697
00:36:56,551 --> 00:36:57,985
Truth is,
I was just gonna ask you
698
00:36:58,052 --> 00:37:00,121
what's going on
between you and Callum.
699
00:37:00,188 --> 00:37:02,590
Oh, oh, sorry.
700
00:37:02,657 --> 00:37:06,493
That, erm,
well, nothing, I guess.
701
00:37:06,928 --> 00:37:08,295
Every year we do the panto
702
00:37:08,361 --> 00:37:10,865
and every year we just
sort of grow apart.
703
00:37:10,932 --> 00:37:13,167
Too much brawn,
not enough brains.
704
00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:14,635
I hate those guys.
705
00:37:16,137 --> 00:37:19,040
Well, at least I now know
what I need to ask Santa for.
706
00:37:19,107 --> 00:37:20,208
What, brains?
707
00:37:20,575 --> 00:37:23,845
No. Something to
stuff your stocking with.
708
00:37:24,411 --> 00:37:26,914
It's double entendre.
You're getting it.
709
00:37:26,981 --> 00:37:30,518
No, you're getting it
from Callum.
710
00:37:31,085 --> 00:37:33,121
Too much?
711
00:37:33,187 --> 00:37:34,522
Bren, darling.
What's the matter?
712
00:37:34,589 --> 00:37:37,491
It's my digs.
I've been broken into.
713
00:37:37,558 --> 00:37:39,160
No, not another one.
714
00:37:39,227 --> 00:37:41,963
Digs is what they call the
accommodation actors stay in.
715
00:37:42,029 --> 00:37:43,564
Gosh. Thanks, Gillian.
716
00:37:43,631 --> 00:37:45,398
Hey, don't call me Gillian.
717
00:37:45,465 --> 00:37:47,869
Stoneford just isn't
what it was.
718
00:37:48,636 --> 00:37:50,738
I mean,
we were a community once.
719
00:37:51,338 --> 00:37:53,741
Now look,
blighted by petty crime.
720
00:37:53,808 --> 00:37:55,977
Yeah, we all know
who's behind that.
721
00:37:56,043 --> 00:37:58,579
How else can he drive that car?
Hey, Kieran!
722
00:37:58,646 --> 00:38:00,915
Leave him, Brenda, please.
723
00:38:01,448 --> 00:38:04,351
I don't know why you
are sticking up for him.
724
00:38:04,417 --> 00:38:05,452
Jill.
725
00:38:05,887 --> 00:38:09,056
Jill, that ex-husband
of yours is a bad 'un
726
00:38:09,123 --> 00:38:10,525
if ever there was one.
727
00:38:10,591 --> 00:38:12,560
Right then,
who's getting this round?
728
00:38:12,627 --> 00:38:14,228
Are you serious?
You work here too?
729
00:38:14,361 --> 00:38:15,462
Yeah.
Cough up, rich boy.
730
00:38:15,530 --> 00:38:18,132
Oh, 200 grand for orchids.
731
00:38:18,199 --> 00:38:21,903
It was a hundred grand a year
and they were from Namibia.
732
00:38:21,969 --> 00:38:23,838
-Oh.
-Oh.
733
00:38:23,905 --> 00:38:26,107
Another round
for everybody on me.
734
00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:32,680
Well,
I'll see you tomorrow I guess.
735
00:38:32,747 --> 00:38:36,050
Yeah. Not too many late night
bars around here, are there?
736
00:38:36,117 --> 00:38:37,685
Around here?
737
00:38:37,752 --> 00:38:40,054
Nah. I do have a bottle of wine
in the fridge though.
738
00:38:42,957 --> 00:38:43,991
Oh. Erm...
739
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:48,296
Mind you, hey, carbs in it.
740
00:38:48,863 --> 00:38:50,965
Right. Gotta look after
the temple.
741
00:38:51,032 --> 00:38:52,399
Yeah.
742
00:38:56,137 --> 00:38:57,404
Here he is.
743
00:38:57,437 --> 00:38:59,240
-Oi, oi!
-Stoneford's action hero.
744
00:38:59,307 --> 00:39:00,675
Look at him. Look.
745
00:39:00,741 --> 00:39:02,243
Come on then, show us
some of your moves, huh?
746
00:39:02,409 --> 00:39:03,443
The only need is me.
747
00:39:03,511 --> 00:39:05,112
I don't want any trouble.
Come on.
748
00:39:05,179 --> 00:39:06,614
Course you don't. You know why?
749
00:39:06,681 --> 00:39:09,050
'Cause you're a little
scaredy cat, ain't you?
750
00:39:09,584 --> 00:39:11,953
You couldn't even block that...
751
00:39:13,453 --> 00:39:15,623
No wonder
you ended up in this dump.
752
00:39:16,557 --> 00:39:20,261
-You're a hopeless loser.
-Go home, Kieran. Now.
753
00:39:20,728 --> 00:39:22,429
I'm having a laugh, Jill.
754
00:39:23,531 --> 00:39:24,932
Let's go, boys.
755
00:39:31,906 --> 00:39:32,940
Jill.
756
00:39:34,709 --> 00:39:36,476
I'll see you tomorrow, Brad.
757
00:39:43,651 --> 00:39:46,020
Never do nothing right.
All you have to do
758
00:39:46,087 --> 00:39:47,555
is stand up for yourself.
759
00:39:49,323 --> 00:39:50,558
Huh?
760
00:39:51,292 --> 00:39:52,526
Hey!
761
00:39:53,828 --> 00:39:56,530
-Stay where you are! Stop!
-Leg it!
762
00:39:56,597 --> 00:39:58,465
Somebody stop them!
763
00:40:03,337 --> 00:40:04,906
What's going on?
764
00:40:06,874 --> 00:40:07,975
He's behind you.
765
00:40:09,610 --> 00:40:10,945
Don't come any closer.
766
00:40:17,018 --> 00:40:18,085
Ah, me sole!
767
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,123
- Stay down.
- Mate, you saved us!
768
00:40:22,790 --> 00:40:24,592
I got it all on video too.
769
00:40:25,793 --> 00:40:28,461
Well done, sir. Nice one.
Thank you.
770
00:40:28,529 --> 00:40:29,764
Arms behind your back. Police.
771
00:40:29,830 --> 00:40:31,198
We've got
his accomplice as well.
772
00:40:31,265 --> 00:40:33,634
Looks like the Stoneford
crime spree's over.
773
00:40:34,568 --> 00:40:37,470
Hang on a minute, aren't you...?
774
00:40:37,538 --> 00:40:38,806
I am.
775
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:40,775
I think I broke it.
776
00:40:40,841 --> 00:40:43,311
247 to base. You'll never guess
who I've just seen.
777
00:40:43,377 --> 00:40:45,079
247. Surprise me.
778
00:40:45,146 --> 00:40:47,815
Hollywood movie star Brad Mac
put his trademark action moves
779
00:40:47,882 --> 00:40:49,784
into action last night.
780
00:40:49,850 --> 00:40:51,652
Not on some
Hollywood studio lot,
781
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,254
but here in the sleepy town
782
00:40:53,321 --> 00:40:55,222
of Stoneford in England.
783
00:40:55,690 --> 00:40:58,092
Mr Mac may not
have been kung fu fighting,
784
00:40:58,159 --> 00:40:59,660
but his unusual routine
785
00:40:59,727 --> 00:41:01,629
is said to have been
inspired by this,
786
00:41:01,696 --> 00:41:04,031
Stoneford's Theatre Royal,
where in just
787
00:41:04,098 --> 00:41:07,101
a few days' time,
Brad Mac takes to the stage
788
00:41:07,168 --> 00:41:08,569
as Buttons in Cinderella.
789
00:41:08,636 --> 00:41:10,171
Here he is! Here he is!
790
00:41:10,237 --> 00:41:12,707
Oh, Mr Mac, can I ask
exactly what happened?
791
00:41:13,374 --> 00:41:16,711
Well, I think I did what
any concerned citizen would do.
792
00:41:16,777 --> 00:41:21,148
Er, I saw two men trying to rob
a home and I chased them.
793
00:41:21,215 --> 00:41:22,550
And apprehended them?
794
00:41:22,583 --> 00:41:23,951
No, the police did that.
795
00:41:24,018 --> 00:41:26,587
But I like to think that
I did my part.
796
00:41:26,654 --> 00:41:28,356
Two men are now in custody.
797
00:41:28,422 --> 00:41:30,057
It turns out they were part of
a criminal gang that have been
798
00:41:30,124 --> 00:41:32,226
targeting towns
in the local area.
799
00:41:32,293 --> 00:41:34,395
Police are confident
that further arrests
800
00:41:34,462 --> 00:41:35,796
will follow and that the gang's
801
00:41:35,863 --> 00:41:37,398
crime spree
has been put to a stop.
802
00:41:37,465 --> 00:41:39,066
All thanks to you, Brad Mac.
803
00:41:39,133 --> 00:41:40,134
How's the panto going?
804
00:41:40,201 --> 00:41:42,036
Oh, great.
Thank you for asking.
805
00:41:42,103 --> 00:41:45,106
Thank you. Erm, yeah, strength
to strength like my career.
806
00:41:45,172 --> 00:41:47,575
And if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go spend the rest of
807
00:41:47,608 --> 00:41:48,909
the day with my daughter.
Thank you.
808
00:41:48,976 --> 00:41:49,777
Thank you.
809
00:41:49,844 --> 00:41:51,145
Mr Mac?
810
00:41:51,212 --> 00:41:52,713
Quick, Brenda,
why don't you tell them
811
00:41:52,780 --> 00:41:53,914
about your one night encounter
812
00:41:53,981 --> 00:41:56,017
with Ozzy Osborne in 1985?
813
00:41:56,083 --> 00:41:58,185
Oh, with pleasure.
814
00:42:22,843 --> 00:42:25,613
-Spencer.
-Grace!
815
00:42:26,347 --> 00:42:27,516
Spider-Man's here.
816
00:42:27,615 --> 00:42:28,616
Wasn't in Spider-Man.
817
00:42:28,682 --> 00:42:30,618
No? I wouldn't know.
818
00:42:30,684 --> 00:42:32,486
I don't watch mainstream movies.
819
00:42:32,620 --> 00:42:37,324
I prefer C inéma Français.
Films with subtitles.
820
00:42:37,391 --> 00:42:38,359
I like French films.
821
00:42:42,063 --> 00:42:43,197
Move, Spencer.
822
00:42:48,869 --> 00:42:50,638
Dad, you finally made it!
823
00:42:50,704 --> 00:42:53,674
Oh, sweetheart,
I am so happy to see you.
824
00:42:53,741 --> 00:42:55,843
We're gonna
have a fabulous day, okay?
825
00:42:56,477 --> 00:42:57,411
When do you need her back?
826
00:42:57,478 --> 00:42:58,646
Oh, after lunch is fine.
827
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,415
Well, that's not gonna give us
a lot of time.
828
00:43:01,482 --> 00:43:04,251
After lunch on Monday.
829
00:43:04,318 --> 00:43:05,853
Three whole days!
830
00:43:06,287 --> 00:43:07,321
Yeah!
831
00:43:08,089 --> 00:43:09,824
Can Daddy talk with Mummy
privately please?
832
00:43:09,890 --> 00:43:11,759
Come on, let's.
833
00:43:12,493 --> 00:43:13,761
We'll be right back.
834
00:43:18,799 --> 00:43:20,134
Okay.
I can't do three days.
835
00:43:20,201 --> 00:43:22,103
I'm rehearsing.
836
00:43:22,169 --> 00:43:24,539
I'm sure you can get one of your
little minions to sort it out.
837
00:43:24,672 --> 00:43:26,440
Okay, Grace.
Minions are cartoons.
838
00:43:26,508 --> 00:43:27,675
Everyone knows that.
839
00:43:27,942 --> 00:43:30,244
No, no, no.
Tough, tough, tough.
840
00:43:30,311 --> 00:43:34,315
We are going to Paris because,
newsflash, we are exhausted.
841
00:43:34,381 --> 00:43:36,817
Yeah. I only get a bonus
four times a year.
842
00:43:36,884 --> 00:43:40,688
Okay. Newsflash, Spencer,
your bonus is $25,000 a month
843
00:43:40,688 --> 00:43:42,056
I pay her in alimony.
844
00:43:42,123 --> 00:43:43,991
Grace, you cannot
spring this on me.
845
00:43:44,058 --> 00:43:47,294
You haven't seen her
twice in the last two years.
846
00:43:47,728 --> 00:43:49,797
This is finally your chance.
847
00:43:49,864 --> 00:43:53,801
-I'm working.
-You're always working.
848
00:43:53,868 --> 00:43:55,136
You're a big boy.
849
00:43:55,504 --> 00:43:56,770
Figure it out.
850
00:44:13,087 --> 00:44:15,823
Well, kiddo, looks like it's
you and me for three whole days.
851
00:44:17,391 --> 00:44:20,227
-Where are we going?
-To the North, me little mucker.
852
00:44:20,294 --> 00:44:21,729
-Dad!
-I know.
853
00:44:22,496 --> 00:44:23,731
Come on.
854
00:44:38,580 --> 00:44:39,614
So this is it.
855
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:44,752
-Stoneford Theatre Royal.
-You're in a pantomime?
856
00:44:44,785 --> 00:44:48,623
-Yeah. Sorry.
-What do you mean, sorry?
857
00:44:48,756 --> 00:44:49,790
I love panto.
858
00:44:49,857 --> 00:44:51,058
You do?
859
00:44:52,193 --> 00:44:55,863
But why are you so young?
Is it set in the past?
860
00:44:55,930 --> 00:44:57,164
How dare you!
861
00:44:57,498 --> 00:44:58,533
Ah!
862
00:44:59,133 --> 00:45:01,435
I wanna introduce you
to a man named Albert. Come on.
863
00:45:03,605 --> 00:45:06,240
Oh, hello, Emma.
864
00:45:06,307 --> 00:45:07,775
My name's Albert.
865
00:45:08,175 --> 00:45:09,476
Yeah, well, come on in, love.
866
00:45:09,544 --> 00:45:11,011
Make yourself at home.
867
00:45:12,146 --> 00:45:13,180
Thank you.
868
00:45:45,179 --> 00:45:45,980
Wow.
869
00:45:46,046 --> 00:45:47,848
Talk about a hint of colour.
870
00:45:49,216 --> 00:45:50,251
I like it.
871
00:45:52,319 --> 00:45:56,190
Yeah, we should
probably close it up.
872
00:46:23,652 --> 00:46:26,387
Don't worry, sweetheart.
Happens wherever I go.
873
00:46:28,956 --> 00:46:30,858
Dad?
It's December.
874
00:46:31,392 --> 00:46:32,426
You're right.
875
00:46:37,599 --> 00:46:38,600
Thank you.
876
00:46:39,233 --> 00:46:41,902
It's that awful man
from those dreadful films.
877
00:46:43,203 --> 00:46:45,740
-Brad. Hi.
-Gillian.
878
00:46:45,873 --> 00:46:48,375
-Jill!
-Big fan of your work.
879
00:46:48,442 --> 00:46:51,111
Oh, thank you very much.
This is my daughter Emma.
880
00:46:51,178 --> 00:46:53,947
This is my daughter Cara
and her friend Bella.
881
00:46:54,014 --> 00:46:55,282
-Hiya.
-Hi.
882
00:46:55,349 --> 00:46:57,117
Do you wanna go
and grab hot chocolates?
883
00:46:57,184 --> 00:46:59,754
-Yeah, sure. Dad?
-Yeah, of course.
884
00:46:59,887 --> 00:47:01,488
-I'll catch up.
-Great. Let's go.
885
00:47:02,423 --> 00:47:03,558
Jill. Can I have a word?
886
00:47:03,625 --> 00:47:05,527
So Emma's here
all weekend, right?
887
00:47:05,593 --> 00:47:07,194
But we're rehearsing.
888
00:47:07,261 --> 00:47:09,798
And I'm really scared that
she's just gonna be so bored.
889
00:47:10,264 --> 00:47:12,801
Don't worry.
Cara can look out for her.
890
00:47:12,900 --> 00:47:14,435
-Really?
-Yeah.
891
00:47:14,502 --> 00:47:17,171
She can hang out with
all the kids backstage and then
892
00:47:17,237 --> 00:47:20,174
we'll get her on the stage
for that big ballroom scene.
893
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:22,009
Oh, my God.
That sounds fantastic.
894
00:47:22,076 --> 00:47:23,310
You are a lifesaver.
895
00:47:23,944 --> 00:47:25,179
Whoa.
896
00:47:27,549 --> 00:47:29,917
Actually, Brad,
I have a favour to ask you.
897
00:47:29,983 --> 00:47:31,318
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
898
00:47:31,385 --> 00:47:34,054
On Monday,
the school's holding an event.
899
00:47:34,121 --> 00:47:35,590
The choir
will be singing carols.
900
00:47:35,657 --> 00:47:38,926
-There's a tombola.
-Is that like Ebola?
901
00:47:38,992 --> 00:47:41,328
Not quite.
One's an African disease.
902
00:47:41,395 --> 00:47:43,464
Erm, then there'll be
a prize-giving,
903
00:47:43,531 --> 00:47:46,300
like fun things,
like Best Christmas jumper.
904
00:47:46,367 --> 00:47:47,401
What?
905
00:47:48,235 --> 00:47:50,204
Oh, no, jumper means sweater.
906
00:47:50,839 --> 00:47:51,840
Oh, thank God.
907
00:47:52,339 --> 00:47:55,342
Little dark for Christmas,
right? Aha. Splat.
908
00:47:55,943 --> 00:47:57,779
So we were hoping
someone real famous
909
00:47:57,846 --> 00:47:59,547
might wanna hand out the prizes.
910
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:01,949
Yeah, I'll do it.
What's the fee?
911
00:48:02,349 --> 00:48:04,385
Er, cup of tea and a bourbon.
912
00:48:04,451 --> 00:48:07,488
Huh. You're cute.
I don't drink when I work.
913
00:48:07,555 --> 00:48:10,424
Hot nuts.
Come and get your hot nuts!
914
00:48:10,491 --> 00:48:13,828
-Nigel. Don't you sleep?
-Of course not, mate.
915
00:48:13,961 --> 00:48:15,396
-On the house.
-Thank you.
916
00:48:15,462 --> 00:48:16,397
Hot nuts.
917
00:48:16,463 --> 00:48:18,966
Warm your hands on me hot nuts.
918
00:48:22,336 --> 00:48:26,373
One and two and three
and four and five.
919
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,242
- Ah.
- Okay. Stop. Stop.
920
00:48:28,308 --> 00:48:31,245
I want Prince Charming,
but it's a bit Prince Alarming.
921
00:48:31,311 --> 00:48:35,449
Sorry, Izzy. Got two left feet.
Toned feet, but...
922
00:48:35,517 --> 00:48:37,117
No, it's me. Really.
923
00:48:37,184 --> 00:48:40,688
Callum, do you mind?
Jill, may I?
924
00:48:42,791 --> 00:48:46,193
-From the top.
-Right. Okay. Watch and learn.
925
00:49:18,459 --> 00:49:19,493
Oh.
926
00:49:50,257 --> 00:49:51,826
Bravo, Jill!
927
00:49:52,359 --> 00:49:54,228
Brenda, please.
I wasn't even warmed up.
928
00:49:54,294 --> 00:49:56,063
All right, my darlings.
929
00:49:56,096 --> 00:49:57,297
Back to the top.
930
00:50:03,838 --> 00:50:07,542
♪ Keep the snow
and sleigh rides ♪
931
00:50:07,609 --> 00:50:09,777
Come on, let's go!
932
00:50:10,277 --> 00:50:13,247
♪ Keep the gifts beneath
the tree ♪
933
00:50:13,313 --> 00:50:16,784
Oh, this is the best!
934
00:50:18,085 --> 00:50:19,687
Come on, hurry up!
935
00:50:19,754 --> 00:50:21,723
-Jill.
-Thank you.
936
00:50:25,158 --> 00:50:28,730
Yeah, come on! Let's go!
937
00:50:30,598 --> 00:50:34,067
♪ 'Cause all I ever wanted ♪
938
00:50:34,134 --> 00:50:36,470
♪ Was nothing I got and ♪
939
00:50:36,538 --> 00:50:41,509
♪ Santa, can't you hear me? ♪
940
00:50:43,176 --> 00:50:46,480
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh-oh, oh ♪
941
00:50:46,548 --> 00:50:51,619
♪ I don't need a thing ♪
942
00:50:51,686 --> 00:50:54,421
♪ I sent a letter to you ♪
943
00:50:54,488 --> 00:50:59,627
♪ On how to make my dreams come
true, yeah, yeah ♪
944
00:50:59,694 --> 00:51:04,532
♪ What I want for Christmas ♪
945
00:51:04,599 --> 00:51:07,936
♪ Hasn't come
and I've been so blue ♪
946
00:51:08,002 --> 00:51:12,974
♪ Tell me, what can I do?
Oh, yeah ♪
947
00:51:13,041 --> 00:51:16,410
♪ Keep the mistletoe ♪
948
00:51:16,476 --> 00:51:18,478
♪ Keep the mistletoe ♪
949
00:51:18,546 --> 00:51:21,950
♪ Unless below is what I need ♪
950
00:51:22,016 --> 00:51:24,318
♪ What I need ♪
951
00:51:24,384 --> 00:51:27,154
♪ Santa, can't you hear me? ♪
952
00:51:27,220 --> 00:51:31,593
♪ Santa, can't you hear me? ♪
953
00:51:32,894 --> 00:51:34,896
Yes!
954
00:51:40,167 --> 00:51:41,836
You was amazing today.
955
00:51:41,903 --> 00:51:43,170
You were too.
956
00:51:43,838 --> 00:51:46,239
Can I buy you a drink?
957
00:51:47,609 --> 00:51:48,643
Sure.
958
00:51:49,844 --> 00:51:50,878
Great.
959
00:52:04,291 --> 00:52:05,593
Good morning, Albert.
960
00:52:06,426 --> 00:52:07,695
Yeah. Morning, Brad.
961
00:52:08,362 --> 00:52:09,597
How's young Emma doing?
962
00:52:10,999 --> 00:52:12,332
She's good, thank you.
963
00:52:12,399 --> 00:52:14,002
I think she's really
enjoying herself.
964
00:52:14,068 --> 00:52:15,069
Ah.
965
00:52:15,202 --> 00:52:16,203
She'll be down in a minute.
966
00:52:16,236 --> 00:52:17,872
-May I?
-Yeah, of course.
967
00:52:17,939 --> 00:52:19,206
Yes, of course.
968
00:52:21,542 --> 00:52:22,577
Wow.
969
00:52:28,348 --> 00:52:30,217
Albert,
can I ask you a question?
970
00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:31,485
Yeah.
971
00:52:32,053 --> 00:52:33,621
When did she pass? Your wife?
972
00:52:33,688 --> 00:52:36,256
Emma and I saw
the dresses upstairs.
973
00:52:37,558 --> 00:52:41,562
My husband passed
nine years ago.
974
00:52:42,630 --> 00:52:46,466
New Year's Eve, in fact.
On stage.
975
00:52:48,402 --> 00:52:51,739
Malcolm and I were
pantomime dames.
976
00:52:51,806 --> 00:52:53,373
Rivals at first.
977
00:52:54,575 --> 00:53:01,448
But, er, 1979 we got
asked to work together.
978
00:53:01,516 --> 00:53:04,719
Cinderella, Oldham Coliseum.
979
00:53:05,553 --> 00:53:07,722
He was a cocky little thing.
980
00:53:08,488 --> 00:53:10,457
I suppose
that's why I liked him.
981
00:53:11,258 --> 00:53:16,263
Cheeky, like you.
We toured every year.
982
00:53:17,397 --> 00:53:19,332
Made all our own frocks.
983
00:53:21,969 --> 00:53:25,006
Birmingham, Newcastle.
984
00:53:25,073 --> 00:53:26,306
Hull.
985
00:53:26,874 --> 00:53:28,676
Nottingham.
986
00:53:28,743 --> 00:53:31,311
Until 1992.
987
00:53:31,378 --> 00:53:33,313
What made you stay in Stoneford?
988
00:53:34,115 --> 00:53:36,884
Oh, we were so damn popular,
989
00:53:36,951 --> 00:53:38,285
they put us in every year.
990
00:53:38,351 --> 00:53:41,889
Most pantomimes
have one dame, you see?
991
00:53:42,557 --> 00:53:45,827
But here, there were always two.
992
00:53:46,828 --> 00:53:52,299
And people in the town,
oh, God, they loved us.
993
00:53:52,299 --> 00:53:53,935
We couldn't go anywhere.
994
00:53:54,001 --> 00:53:57,038
Year round, autographs.
995
00:53:57,105 --> 00:53:59,140
Then selfies.
996
00:53:59,207 --> 00:54:02,409
The Stoneford Christmas lights.
997
00:54:04,444 --> 00:54:06,313
Until that Christmas.
998
00:54:13,386 --> 00:54:17,658
Last show of the year.
Poor Malcolm.
999
00:54:18,559 --> 00:54:20,528
As the final curtain fell,
1000
00:54:21,195 --> 00:54:23,831
he was out like a light himself.
1001
00:54:26,768 --> 00:54:28,636
I never went on stage again.
1002
00:54:31,371 --> 00:54:32,907
Albert, I'm so sorry.
1003
00:54:37,377 --> 00:54:39,247
Why do you work the stage door?
1004
00:54:39,346 --> 00:54:40,748
You don't need the money.
1005
00:54:41,414 --> 00:54:44,351
Theatre's not about money, lad.
1006
00:54:45,418 --> 00:54:49,356
Theatre's about
love, passion, people.
1007
00:54:52,359 --> 00:54:54,427
I devoted my whole life to it
1008
00:54:56,130 --> 00:55:01,068
and I haven't regretted it
for one single moment.
1009
00:55:04,005 --> 00:55:06,240
Come on, Dad.
Let's get you to rehearsals.
1010
00:55:06,373 --> 00:55:07,642
Good morning, Albert.
1011
00:55:07,708 --> 00:55:09,610
Good morning, my dear.
1012
00:55:10,511 --> 00:55:11,746
Thank you, Albert.
1013
00:55:14,916 --> 00:55:15,983
Thank you.
1014
00:55:16,050 --> 00:55:17,084
Take care.
1015
00:55:25,059 --> 00:55:27,394
You are a complete
waste of space, Buttons.
1016
00:55:27,394 --> 00:55:28,963
I have no idea why we pay you.
1017
00:55:29,030 --> 00:55:31,098
But you don't pay me,
Baron Hardup.
1018
00:55:31,165 --> 00:55:33,801
- That's because I am hard up.
- Oh, matron.
1019
00:55:33,868 --> 00:55:37,071
Yeah. Why do you
need money anyway, Buttons?
1020
00:55:37,138 --> 00:55:38,405
Yeah, that's right.
1021
00:55:38,471 --> 00:55:41,209
We all thought:
The only need is me!
1022
00:55:41,275 --> 00:55:42,910
What?
1023
00:55:42,977 --> 00:55:44,512
Why else would you be
killing time in panto land?
1024
00:55:44,579 --> 00:55:45,847
Yeah, we're not
in Hollywood now,
1025
00:55:45,913 --> 00:55:47,582
-are we, Buttons?
-Yeah, that's right.
1026
00:55:47,648 --> 00:55:49,217
Has anyone seen your career?
1027
00:55:49,283 --> 00:55:50,551
It's behind you.
1028
00:55:50,618 --> 00:55:52,620
Why are you
saying that? Stop it.
1029
00:55:52,687 --> 00:55:54,722
I know, darling.
It's just topical jokes.
1030
00:55:54,789 --> 00:55:56,924
It's the same with
the star turn in every panto.
1031
00:55:56,991 --> 00:55:58,693
Just a little light ribbing,
dear.
1032
00:55:58,759 --> 00:56:00,127
Well, I'm proud
of those films, okay,
1033
00:56:00,194 --> 00:56:01,229
so you can take that out now.
1034
00:56:01,295 --> 00:56:02,597
What are you gonna do? Quit?
1035
00:56:02,663 --> 00:56:04,464
I don't think so, ducky.
1036
00:56:05,666 --> 00:56:07,768
Oh, that's right.
Swan off to your agent.
1037
00:56:07,835 --> 00:56:09,971
What agent?
1038
00:56:10,905 --> 00:56:11,939
Oh, he's gone.
1039
00:56:15,309 --> 00:56:17,712
Oh, Mr Mac.
Mr Mac.
1040
00:56:17,778 --> 00:56:19,947
-Sign out, Mr Mac.
-Wait!
1041
00:56:21,082 --> 00:56:23,450
Miss Mac.
Miss Mac!
1042
00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:33,460
Dad.
1043
00:56:34,161 --> 00:56:36,330
Emma, please just
go back inside. Okay?
1044
00:56:36,463 --> 00:56:39,499
No. I'm starting to think that
Mum was right about you.
1045
00:56:39,567 --> 00:56:42,336
-All you care about is yourself.
-What?
1046
00:56:42,469 --> 00:56:43,971
She says
you keep trying to run away.
1047
00:56:44,739 --> 00:56:47,474
I didn't really
understand until now.
1048
00:56:47,474 --> 00:56:49,210
That's not true, okay?
1049
00:56:49,277 --> 00:56:50,544
It's not fair.
1050
00:56:50,611 --> 00:56:54,649
Come back in,
okay, for me, please.
1051
00:57:09,997 --> 00:57:11,032
Hey.
1052
00:57:12,499 --> 00:57:13,734
Ah.
1053
00:57:15,369 --> 00:57:18,306
I really want to thank you for
making me come back inside.
1054
00:57:18,806 --> 00:57:22,143
You know, I wanna do this play
because of you
1055
00:57:22,209 --> 00:57:24,278
and I think I really had fun.
1056
00:57:24,345 --> 00:57:26,180
You were really good, Dad.
1057
00:57:26,247 --> 00:57:27,315
Thank you.
1058
00:57:27,381 --> 00:57:29,283
Salted caramel surprise?
1059
00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:31,218
What's the surprise?
1060
00:57:31,285 --> 00:57:33,521
Erm, soft in the centre.
1061
00:57:33,554 --> 00:57:35,823
Ha, ha, ha.
1062
00:57:35,890 --> 00:57:37,959
Maybe they could go
a little easier on me
1063
00:57:38,025 --> 00:57:39,627
with the jokes about my career.
1064
00:57:39,694 --> 00:57:41,028
They were really funny.
1065
00:57:42,730 --> 00:57:45,533
I might be being
oversensitive about this,
1066
00:57:45,533 --> 00:57:47,034
but I just don't think
1067
00:57:47,101 --> 00:57:49,236
that I'm ready to start joking
about the career
1068
00:57:49,303 --> 00:57:50,538
I'm about to lose.
1069
00:57:50,571 --> 00:57:52,573
What are you
talking about, Brad?
1070
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:55,176
The jokes only work
because you are a star.
1071
00:57:55,943 --> 00:57:58,913
It's a thing we do in England.
It's called taking the piss.
1072
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:02,183
Now come on, it's time for
the school prize-giving.
1073
00:58:02,249 --> 00:58:04,919
Not quite the Oscars,
but we should get going.
1074
00:58:04,986 --> 00:58:06,120
You ready?
1075
00:58:07,955 --> 00:58:11,359
♪ Deck the halls with
boughs of holly ♪
1076
00:58:11,425 --> 00:58:14,061
♪ Fa la la la la la, la la la ♪
1077
00:58:28,476 --> 00:58:31,645
Mr Mac, this is an honour.
1078
00:58:31,712 --> 00:58:34,648
-Martin. The head.
-Pleasure.
1079
00:58:34,715 --> 00:58:36,417
-Mulled wine.
-Actually...
1080
00:58:36,484 --> 00:58:38,586
It's a British tradition,
Mr Mac.
1081
00:58:38,652 --> 00:58:41,188
Well, German. But still.
1082
00:58:41,255 --> 00:58:43,958
Hey, Cara.
Why don't you show Emma around.
1083
00:58:44,025 --> 00:58:45,059
Thank you.
1084
00:58:46,627 --> 00:58:47,995
Gonna earn my keep.
1085
00:58:48,629 --> 00:58:50,364
Good luck.
1086
00:58:50,431 --> 00:58:53,000
Hello, Stoneford!
1087
00:58:55,036 --> 00:58:59,740
Today I'd like to welcome
Hollywood actor Brad Mac,
1088
00:58:59,807 --> 00:59:03,110
who is here to
present our Christmas awards.
1089
00:59:05,946 --> 00:59:07,615
Now, it's so important
1090
00:59:07,681 --> 00:59:10,951
that children be inspired
by the theatre.
1091
00:59:11,385 --> 00:59:14,055
That's why our students
take their annual trip
1092
00:59:14,121 --> 00:59:15,623
to London to see
1093
00:59:15,623 --> 00:59:18,793
the best theatre
this country has to offer.
1094
00:59:19,528 --> 00:59:22,496
Macbeth at Shakespeare's Globe.
1095
00:59:22,630 --> 00:59:25,666
Emma.
1096
00:59:25,733 --> 00:59:27,902
Still, if you're
looking for something
1097
00:59:27,968 --> 00:59:29,904
a little more fun
this Christmas,
1098
00:59:29,970 --> 00:59:31,806
be sure to catch Mr Mac
1099
00:59:31,872 --> 00:59:34,708
in Stoneford's
Christmas pantomime.
1100
00:59:36,277 --> 00:59:38,946
Now, shall we get
the prize-giving underway?
1101
00:59:41,415 --> 00:59:44,852
Let's get things started with
this year's highly coveted prize
1102
00:59:44,919 --> 00:59:46,654
for most improved attendance.
1103
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,722
-And the winner is...
-Where's my daughter?
1104
00:59:48,789 --> 00:59:52,259
Grace?
Emma's around here somewhere.
1105
00:59:52,693 --> 00:59:54,328
-Jill.
-Who? Who's Jill?
1106
00:59:54,395 --> 00:59:56,063
Because you know, she was meant
to be home at 12 o'clock
1107
00:59:56,130 --> 00:59:58,199
and your phone is off
and it's half past three.
1108
00:59:58,265 --> 01:00:00,067
-I was rehearsing.
-Because the hotel said you left
1109
01:00:00,134 --> 01:00:01,669
and I can't get a hold
of your agent
1110
01:00:01,735 --> 01:00:03,037
because actually it turns out
1111
01:00:03,104 --> 01:00:04,371
you don't have
an agent anymore.
1112
01:00:04,438 --> 01:00:05,372
-Mum.
-Oh, darling.
1113
01:00:05,439 --> 01:00:06,440
Oh, sweetheart.
1114
01:00:06,508 --> 01:00:08,476
Oh, okay.
1115
01:00:09,009 --> 01:00:10,911
Sweetheart,
we're gonna go to London now.
1116
01:00:10,978 --> 01:00:12,313
Grace, please don't do this.
1117
01:00:12,379 --> 01:00:14,215
We're having
such a good time, right, Em?
1118
01:00:14,281 --> 01:00:16,383
I'm going
to be in the pantomime.
1119
01:00:16,450 --> 01:00:17,785
No, no, no, no.
1120
01:00:17,852 --> 01:00:19,554
That's not something
to be proud of, Em.
1121
01:00:19,620 --> 01:00:21,388
What is it that we say about
pantomimes, Spencer? What the...
1122
01:00:21,455 --> 01:00:23,090
Lowest common
denominator entertainment.
1123
01:00:23,157 --> 01:00:24,825
Well, that's not true.
They're hugely popular.
1124
01:00:24,892 --> 01:00:26,694
That's good you're
popular somewhere, eh, Brad?
1125
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:27,928
Come on, let's go.
1126
01:00:27,995 --> 01:00:30,731
-I don't want to.
-I'm sorry?
1127
01:00:31,632 --> 01:00:33,100
I want to stay with Dad.
1128
01:00:34,135 --> 01:00:35,703
Your father abandoned you, Emma.
1129
01:00:36,237 --> 01:00:39,574
So he could stay in Hollywood
and make sequel after sequel,
1130
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:42,209
and buy orchid after orchid.
1131
01:00:43,344 --> 01:00:44,712
He promised.
1132
01:00:44,778 --> 01:00:46,714
But your father makes
a lot of promises,
1133
01:00:46,780 --> 01:00:51,418
Emma, promises he always breaks.
1134
01:00:52,052 --> 01:00:55,990
So, no, you will
not be in the pantomime.
1135
01:00:56,657 --> 01:00:59,960
He probably won't even make it
to opening night, will you?
1136
01:01:00,027 --> 01:01:01,328
So, come on, let's go.
1137
01:01:01,762 --> 01:01:03,197
Grace, please just stop.
1138
01:01:03,264 --> 01:01:04,832
This is not fair.
1139
01:01:04,899 --> 01:01:06,568
We both agreed
that Emma would stay with you
1140
01:01:06,635 --> 01:01:09,336
because you told me
that's what was best for her,
1141
01:01:09,737 --> 01:01:11,005
and now I'm just
starting to think
1142
01:01:11,071 --> 01:01:12,840
that that's what's best for you.
1143
01:01:12,907 --> 01:01:15,109
I get it. I've been a bad dad.
Okay?
1144
01:01:15,176 --> 01:01:20,615
Thoughtless, selfish. Emma.
I promise that stops now.
1145
01:01:21,448 --> 01:01:23,751
I will never run away
from you again.
1146
01:01:26,086 --> 01:01:27,755
Most improved attendance.
1147
01:01:29,356 --> 01:01:30,391
It's ironic.
1148
01:01:36,864 --> 01:01:38,365
Mr Mac.
1149
01:01:42,469 --> 01:01:45,973
- Rachel McDonald.
- She's not here.
1150
01:01:46,508 --> 01:01:47,975
Not again.
1151
01:02:06,293 --> 01:02:07,328
How are you?
1152
01:02:09,830 --> 01:02:11,065
Read that.
1153
01:02:13,568 --> 01:02:15,169
'From Hero to Zero.
1154
01:02:15,236 --> 01:02:17,171
Washed-up B-list movie star
1155
01:02:17,238 --> 01:02:20,007
ends career with not a bang,
but a whimper.'
1156
01:02:21,008 --> 01:02:22,510
Where did this come from?
1157
01:02:23,077 --> 01:02:25,580
My ex-agent didn't like
the good press
1158
01:02:25,647 --> 01:02:27,047
that I was getting,
1159
01:02:27,114 --> 01:02:30,050
so she gave them
an alternative narrative.
1160
01:02:32,419 --> 01:02:34,455
I was hoping that coming here
would change my life
1161
01:02:34,522 --> 01:02:37,726
and boy has it,
it's made it worse.
1162
01:02:39,026 --> 01:02:41,428
Come on, cheer up.
1163
01:02:41,495 --> 01:02:42,830
Things will get better.
1164
01:02:43,397 --> 01:02:46,534
No, not for me. Not here.
I'm done.
1165
01:02:46,601 --> 01:02:49,270
I'm going home.
I don't care what it costs.
1166
01:02:50,572 --> 01:02:51,606
And what about us?
1167
01:02:52,439 --> 01:02:55,476
This is our life here, Brad.
This is who we are.
1168
01:02:55,909 --> 01:02:59,079
If you run away and leave us
in the lurch, we are the ones
1169
01:02:59,146 --> 01:03:00,749
who end up paying the price.
1170
01:03:00,848 --> 01:03:02,850
I'm being humiliated, Jill.
1171
01:03:05,152 --> 01:03:08,657
But look at Albert on stage door
putting you up for nowt.
1172
01:03:08,723 --> 01:03:10,124
Cassandra, holding your hand
1173
01:03:10,190 --> 01:03:12,393
through every step
of the process.
1174
01:03:12,860 --> 01:03:17,097
And then me.
Muggins. Along for the ride.
1175
01:03:20,568 --> 01:03:21,603
Okay. Forget it.
1176
01:03:22,236 --> 01:03:24,171
Because
it's all about you, Brad.
1177
01:03:24,673 --> 01:03:26,574
'Cause that's how
it's always been.
1178
01:03:27,074 --> 01:03:28,309
Your wife's right.
1179
01:03:28,777 --> 01:03:29,877
Ex-wife.
1180
01:03:29,943 --> 01:03:31,378
Yeah. I'm not surprised.
1181
01:03:38,018 --> 01:03:40,087
Bar person,
one more for the road.
1182
01:03:45,025 --> 01:03:47,895
Oh, where's Nigel?
1183
01:03:47,895 --> 01:03:49,229
It's his day off.
1184
01:03:49,296 --> 01:03:50,197
Oh.
1185
01:03:50,532 --> 01:03:55,069
Only joking.
As if I'd get a day off.
1186
01:03:57,071 --> 01:03:59,073
Anyway, mate,
you want to take it easy.
1187
01:03:59,139 --> 01:04:01,909
Yeah, you've gotta turn on
the Christmas lights.
1188
01:04:01,975 --> 01:04:04,144
What do you think
I'm dressed for?
1189
01:04:15,790 --> 01:04:17,458
Hello.
1190
01:04:17,525 --> 01:04:18,793
Ich bin...
1191
01:04:18,926 --> 01:04:20,094
German.
1192
01:04:20,928 --> 01:04:21,929
Jesus.
1193
01:04:22,664 --> 01:04:25,933
Brenda, you're a connoisseur.
of fine liquid entertainment.
1194
01:04:25,999 --> 01:04:28,001
The biggest turnout
we've had
1195
01:04:28,068 --> 01:04:31,105
for a Christmas light switch
on ever.
1196
01:04:31,939 --> 01:04:33,575
I think you might
have had enough.
1197
01:04:33,641 --> 01:04:36,944
Welcome to the stage
the mayor of Stoneford!
1198
01:04:36,977 --> 01:04:38,946
It worked for Burton.
1199
01:04:38,946 --> 01:04:41,783
So let's give
the cast of Cinderella
1200
01:04:41,850 --> 01:04:43,618
a huge Stoneford wel--
1201
01:04:44,151 --> 01:04:45,520
Thank you, Mr Mayor.
1202
01:04:46,688 --> 01:04:48,021
Hello, Stoneford.
1203
01:04:48,088 --> 01:04:50,725
Oi, Buttons!
Gonna have another meltdown?
1204
01:04:51,158 --> 01:04:53,628
-Shut up, you loser.
-Ooh.
1205
01:04:53,695 --> 01:04:55,797
I'm Bradley Mac-- Ow!
1206
01:05:04,371 --> 01:05:08,510
So that's how it is now.
I'm just a joke to you all.
1207
01:05:08,576 --> 01:05:09,644
Spiderman's here.
1208
01:05:10,645 --> 01:05:12,079
Okay.
1209
01:05:14,181 --> 01:05:17,585
-How's this for laughs?
-Whoa!
1210
01:05:17,652 --> 01:05:19,019
I can be funny.
1211
01:05:19,687 --> 01:05:21,088
Son of a bitch!
1212
01:05:21,155 --> 01:05:22,557
I can be the clown.
1213
01:05:22,624 --> 01:05:23,691
You're fired.
1214
01:05:24,491 --> 01:05:28,328
It seems like the only thing
I can't be is a good actor.
1215
01:05:28,395 --> 01:05:31,365
-Something like that?
-We're screwed.
1216
01:05:31,432 --> 01:05:32,667
Good father.
1217
01:05:32,734 --> 01:05:34,301
You are literally first in line
1218
01:05:34,368 --> 01:05:36,303
for worst parent
of the year award.
1219
01:05:36,370 --> 01:05:39,373
-Even a good person.
-But he promised.
1220
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,009
But your father makes
a lot of promises, Emma.
1221
01:05:42,042 --> 01:05:46,079
Promises he always breaks.
1222
01:05:46,146 --> 01:05:49,149
- Anyone seen your career?
- It's behind you.
1223
01:05:49,216 --> 01:05:52,620
What are you looking at?
What are you looking at?!
1224
01:05:57,057 --> 01:06:00,093
You want a villain?
I'll be your villain.
1225
01:06:00,895 --> 01:06:02,162
Yeah.
1226
01:06:03,130 --> 01:06:04,364
Here's this.
1227
01:06:07,034 --> 01:06:08,469
Merry Christmas.
1228
01:06:28,756 --> 01:06:31,593
Mr Mac. You are under arrest.
1229
01:06:31,659 --> 01:06:35,462
And before you ask, yep,
community police officer.
1230
01:06:36,129 --> 01:06:37,665
Help me up.
1231
01:06:37,732 --> 01:06:39,501
Yeah.
1232
01:06:40,300 --> 01:06:41,603
Mr Mac.
1233
01:06:42,837 --> 01:06:45,540
I'm up. I'm up.
1234
01:06:48,510 --> 01:06:50,110
I need to talk to my lawyer.
1235
01:06:50,177 --> 01:06:51,813
They've been contacted.
1236
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:53,180
They want you to know
they're on the way.
1237
01:06:53,247 --> 01:06:55,115
When are they getting here?
1238
01:06:55,517 --> 01:06:56,784
No idea.
1239
01:07:00,889 --> 01:07:03,591
Er, listen, do you mind
if I have a selfie?
1240
01:07:07,094 --> 01:07:08,095
Sure.
1241
01:07:08,128 --> 01:07:09,429
Cheers.
1242
01:07:11,533 --> 01:07:13,768
Oh. Smile.
1243
01:07:14,836 --> 01:07:16,103
Cheers.
1244
01:07:18,238 --> 01:07:19,473
Are you all right?
1245
01:07:21,709 --> 01:07:22,744
No.
1246
01:07:24,746 --> 01:07:29,249
Yesterday I had everything.
Friends, a job.
1247
01:07:30,852 --> 01:07:32,754
My daughter loved me.
1248
01:07:32,820 --> 01:07:36,223
And I screwed it all up.
1249
01:07:38,425 --> 01:07:40,127
What's gonna happen now?
1250
01:07:40,427 --> 01:07:42,329
Well, you're up
in front of the magistrates
1251
01:07:42,396 --> 01:07:43,965
Wednesday morning,
1252
01:07:44,032 --> 01:07:46,166
and normally you'd remain in
police custody until then.
1253
01:07:46,233 --> 01:07:47,569
However, on this occasion,
1254
01:07:47,635 --> 01:07:50,004
a respectable member
of the community
1255
01:07:50,137 --> 01:07:52,172
has come forward
and vouched for you,
1256
01:07:52,239 --> 01:07:53,975
so we're happy to release you
1257
01:07:54,042 --> 01:07:56,276
into their care
until the hearing.
1258
01:07:57,679 --> 01:08:00,147
A respectable member
of the community?
1259
01:08:00,213 --> 01:08:01,448
Yeah.
1260
01:08:09,724 --> 01:08:12,961
Hey, sorry
about what I said at the pub.
1261
01:08:13,027 --> 01:08:16,731
Well, you're probably right.
Whatever it is you said.
1262
01:08:16,798 --> 01:08:17,832
Officer.
1263
01:08:19,667 --> 01:08:21,002
Downstairs.
1264
01:08:21,069 --> 01:08:23,705
I'll make us a brew.
1265
01:08:23,771 --> 01:08:25,673
Oh...
1266
01:08:26,507 --> 01:08:29,711
I was so stupid.
When Grace took her away,
1267
01:08:29,777 --> 01:08:31,378
the way she looked at me.
1268
01:08:31,445 --> 01:08:34,348
I'll never get it outta my head.
She was so disappointed.
1269
01:08:34,414 --> 01:08:36,884
She'll understand.
In time.
1270
01:08:36,951 --> 01:08:39,486
That's the thing. With Emma,
I'm running out of time.
1271
01:08:39,554 --> 01:08:40,855
If I'm convicted
and I get a record,
1272
01:08:40,922 --> 01:08:42,489
they won't let me back
in the country.
1273
01:08:42,557 --> 01:08:44,491
It'll be years
before I can see her again.
1274
01:08:44,559 --> 01:08:47,729
I'm spiralling downward
and I don't know why.
1275
01:08:48,930 --> 01:08:50,665
'Cause this pantomime,
1276
01:08:50,732 --> 01:08:55,003
with Albert and Emma,
even the ugly sisters,
1277
01:08:55,469 --> 01:08:59,807
this is the best time I've
ever had and it's 'cause of you.
1278
01:09:03,945 --> 01:09:05,212
Thanks.
1279
01:09:07,214 --> 01:09:09,851
-Cara. Cara!
-She's out.
1280
01:09:09,917 --> 01:09:12,654
You're not supposed
to have a key, Kieran.
1281
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:14,522
I just wanna
see my daughter, Jill.
1282
01:09:14,989 --> 01:09:18,960
Well, she's not here,
so you gotta leave.
1283
01:09:19,027 --> 01:09:22,764
-Got him here with you?
-It's not what you think.
1284
01:09:23,230 --> 01:09:25,465
Since when you care
about what I think?
1285
01:09:25,533 --> 01:09:27,969
I wanna take Carla
down to London with me.
1286
01:09:28,036 --> 01:09:31,072
No, the pantomime is
opening tomorrow night.
1287
01:09:31,139 --> 01:09:33,273
-You promised.
-Yeah.
1288
01:09:33,340 --> 01:09:34,742
That was when
your head was straight
1289
01:09:34,809 --> 01:09:37,244
and not full of all this
Hollywood rubbish.
1290
01:09:37,244 --> 01:09:41,481
She's my daughter as well, Jill.
She's my daughter as well.
1291
01:09:48,756 --> 01:09:52,560
Only days ago I was standing
outside Stoneford Theatre Royal.
1292
01:09:52,627 --> 01:09:55,096
But there's a rather
different stage set for today.
1293
01:09:55,163 --> 01:09:58,265
Stoneford Courthouse,
where the fate of Brad Mac
1294
01:09:58,331 --> 01:10:01,869
and the local pantomime
will be decided.
1295
01:10:01,936 --> 01:10:04,271
Sweetheart, you sure
you're not gonna join us?
1296
01:10:05,540 --> 01:10:06,808
I don't think I can face it
1297
01:10:06,874 --> 01:10:08,743
and I have to fetch
Cara from ballet.
1298
01:10:08,810 --> 01:10:10,578
So I'll just
meet you here later.
1299
01:10:10,645 --> 01:10:12,113
What if Brad goes down?
1300
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:14,682
Then you'll have to get
Pierce Brosnan on the phone.
1301
01:10:16,984 --> 01:10:18,686
Alright, darling, see you later.
1302
01:10:19,687 --> 01:10:22,156
Brad's fearsome legal team
flew in overnight
1303
01:10:22,222 --> 01:10:24,424
on an actual private jet
from Hollywood.
1304
01:10:24,491 --> 01:10:26,359
That's right, carbon destroyers,
1305
01:10:26,426 --> 01:10:28,462
but hopefully
not career destroyers.
1306
01:10:28,529 --> 01:10:29,964
Back to you in the studio.
1307
01:10:49,217 --> 01:10:51,686
We got this, Brad. Fear not.
1308
01:10:51,753 --> 01:10:54,287
You know I'm the best
defence lawyer in California.
1309
01:10:54,354 --> 01:10:56,289
I'm also the cheapest.
1310
01:10:57,592 --> 01:10:59,627
-Really?
-Oh, no, no.
1311
01:10:59,694 --> 01:11:02,029
I'm just making a joke
to lighten things up.
1312
01:11:07,201 --> 01:11:09,103
All rise.
1313
01:11:09,170 --> 01:11:10,905
Will the defendant please stand.
1314
01:11:15,910 --> 01:11:19,080
Mr Theobald Washington,
you have been charged...
1315
01:11:19,147 --> 01:11:20,413
Objection.
1316
01:11:20,480 --> 01:11:22,216
Who the hell
is Theobald Washington?
1317
01:11:22,349 --> 01:11:23,751
That's my real name.
1318
01:11:23,818 --> 01:11:25,586
Theobald.
1319
01:11:25,653 --> 01:11:26,554
For real?
1320
01:11:26,621 --> 01:11:28,355
You chose Brad Mac?
1321
01:11:28,388 --> 01:11:30,725
I chose Bradley Apollo McDonald.
1322
01:11:30,792 --> 01:11:32,260
Oh.
1323
01:11:32,359 --> 01:11:33,828
Carry on, Basil.
1324
01:11:33,895 --> 01:11:37,098
...with the destruction
of city property and being
1325
01:11:37,165 --> 01:11:39,100
drunk and disorderly in public.
1326
01:11:39,567 --> 01:11:42,236
-How do you plead?
-Not guilty.
1327
01:11:44,539 --> 01:11:45,973
Well done, Brad!
1328
01:11:48,176 --> 01:11:50,745
Silence!
1329
01:11:51,378 --> 01:11:52,680
Thank you.
1330
01:11:53,114 --> 01:11:56,684
Your Honour,
my name is Sukie Huntington III
1331
01:11:56,751 --> 01:11:58,719
from the Los Angeles Law firm of
1332
01:11:58,786 --> 01:12:02,523
Brown, Johnson, Klein, Robinson,
Ashwell, Lopez, and...
1333
01:12:04,091 --> 01:12:06,994
erm, oh, yeah, me, Huntington.
1334
01:12:08,395 --> 01:12:09,630
Proceed.
1335
01:12:09,697 --> 01:12:11,098
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury--
1336
01:12:11,165 --> 01:12:14,202
Er, this is a magistrate court,
Miss Huntington.
1337
01:12:14,268 --> 01:12:15,203
There's no jury.
1338
01:12:15,269 --> 01:12:18,105
It's Ms. I'm divorced.
1339
01:12:18,940 --> 01:12:22,710
Just like this court.
Divorced from reality.
1340
01:12:22,777 --> 01:12:26,581
For my client has numerous
mitigating circumstances.
1341
01:12:26,647 --> 01:12:29,650
Not only is he a celebrity,
1342
01:12:29,717 --> 01:12:32,520
he is also a member
of a minority.
1343
01:12:33,420 --> 01:12:35,656
Which minority
are you referring to?
1344
01:12:35,723 --> 01:12:38,458
He's American, Your Honour.
1345
01:12:39,794 --> 01:12:42,830
Mr Magistrate, can I please
say a few words?
1346
01:12:42,897 --> 01:12:44,031
If you must.
1347
01:12:44,966 --> 01:12:48,002
Two weeks ago, I didn't even
know Stoneford existed.
1348
01:12:48,069 --> 01:12:52,306
And then someone will throw
a plate of shaving foam
1349
01:12:52,439 --> 01:12:54,275
directly into your face.
1350
01:12:54,342 --> 01:12:55,475
And then...
1351
01:12:55,543 --> 01:12:59,080
Mr Brosnan? Mr Brosnan?
1352
01:12:59,146 --> 01:13:02,316
I certainly didn't know
what a pantomime was.
1353
01:13:02,449 --> 01:13:05,953
Er, so to find myself on stage
playing Buttons in Cinderella
1354
01:13:06,287 --> 01:13:07,487
came as quite a shock.
1355
01:13:08,022 --> 01:13:10,858
That's not an excuse
for losing control.
1356
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:14,962
More my attempt
at an explanation.
1357
01:13:15,029 --> 01:13:17,565
You have to let him off,
Your Honour.
1358
01:13:17,632 --> 01:13:22,069
The Panto needs Brad Mac.
Stoneford needs Brad Mac.
1359
01:13:22,136 --> 01:13:24,272
Don't be too hard on him,
Your Honour.
1360
01:13:24,338 --> 01:13:25,472
Yeah, that's our job.
1361
01:13:25,472 --> 01:13:27,474
Don't bang up Buttons!
1362
01:13:27,474 --> 01:13:29,543
Don't bang up Buttons!
1363
01:13:29,610 --> 01:13:31,178
Don't bang up Buttons!
1364
01:13:31,245 --> 01:13:33,114
Don't bang up Buttons!
1365
01:13:33,180 --> 01:13:34,515
Silence!
1366
01:13:34,582 --> 01:13:36,384
I've had quite enough
of this nonsense.
1367
01:13:36,483 --> 01:13:37,585
Oh, no, you haven't.
1368
01:13:37,652 --> 01:13:39,486
Oh, yes I... have. Enough!
1369
01:13:41,055 --> 01:13:43,490
You're turning this courtroom
into a pantomime,
1370
01:13:43,490 --> 01:13:44,759
and this case into a joke.
1371
01:13:44,825 --> 01:13:46,394
Pantomime is not a joke,
Your Honour.
1372
01:13:46,493 --> 01:13:47,494
Excuse me?
1373
01:13:47,528 --> 01:13:48,996
The pantomime.
1374
01:13:50,497 --> 01:13:51,999
It's not a joke.
1375
01:13:53,100 --> 01:13:54,368
The Christmas pantomime
1376
01:13:54,502 --> 01:13:56,070
brings entire
communities together,
1377
01:13:56,137 --> 01:13:57,571
young and old.
1378
01:13:57,638 --> 01:13:59,507
For the young people,
it's probably
1379
01:13:59,540 --> 01:14:01,709
the first time
they'll ever see a theatre.
1380
01:14:01,776 --> 01:14:05,212
And for the older people
in the community, like myself,
1381
01:14:06,180 --> 01:14:09,083
it gives us a chance
to reconnect with the young ones
1382
01:14:09,984 --> 01:14:11,819
through a shared smile
or a laugh.
1383
01:14:12,353 --> 01:14:14,989
Besides, the Christmas pantomime
makes enough money
1384
01:14:15,056 --> 01:14:17,625
to keep Stoneford's theatre
going all year round.
1385
01:14:18,059 --> 01:14:19,860
Without the pantomime,
the theatre would
1386
01:14:19,927 --> 01:14:21,729
probably close
and be gone forever.
1387
01:14:22,697 --> 01:14:23,931
Thank you, Mr Mac.
1388
01:14:24,532 --> 01:14:26,600
Can I please
just say one more thing?
1389
01:14:28,536 --> 01:14:30,671
I know you think
the panto is silly,
1390
01:14:30,738 --> 01:14:32,974
and in places it is, by design.
1391
01:14:35,009 --> 01:14:37,545
But I beg you
to come see Cinderella,
1392
01:14:37,578 --> 01:14:39,413
not just to see what's happening
1393
01:14:39,547 --> 01:14:42,783
on stage, but to look around
at the faces of the audience.
1394
01:14:43,851 --> 01:14:48,389
You'll see something that's
so special, so rare.
1395
01:14:48,456 --> 01:14:51,759
You'll see pure joy.
1396
01:14:51,826 --> 01:14:53,794
And at the end of the day,
Your Honour,
1397
01:14:53,861 --> 01:14:56,430
isn't that what Christmas
is supposed to be about?
1398
01:14:56,564 --> 01:14:58,966
Nice words, Mr Mac, but shall we
get back to the matter in hand?
1399
01:14:59,033 --> 01:15:00,368
Yes, sir.
1400
01:15:00,935 --> 01:15:03,704
And I have no intention
of banging up Buttons.
1401
01:15:03,771 --> 01:15:05,740
I never have.
The crimes he's charged with
1402
01:15:05,806 --> 01:15:07,008
aren't even jailable.
1403
01:15:07,074 --> 01:15:08,209
Really?
1404
01:15:08,275 --> 01:15:10,611
Public intoxication, 200 pounds.
1405
01:15:10,678 --> 01:15:12,313
Justice at last!
1406
01:15:13,581 --> 01:15:15,916
For heaven's sake, clear off.
1407
01:15:20,154 --> 01:15:23,157
My daughter,
he's got my daughter!
1408
01:15:23,224 --> 01:15:24,992
Oh, no, he hasn't!
1409
01:15:25,726 --> 01:15:26,927
What is wrong with you?
1410
01:15:26,994 --> 01:15:28,929
It's Kieran.
He's got Cara.
1411
01:15:28,996 --> 01:15:31,799
Jill, I'm here for you.
Whatever you need.
1412
01:15:33,367 --> 01:15:35,002
This way.
1413
01:15:35,069 --> 01:15:36,037
No, this way.
1414
01:15:36,103 --> 01:15:37,506
No, Brad.
It's literally this way.
1415
01:15:37,605 --> 01:15:39,006
I'm tracking his phone.
1416
01:15:41,842 --> 01:15:43,978
Nigel, we need your help
to save Cara.
1417
01:15:44,045 --> 01:15:45,980
You got it, boss.
1418
01:15:46,047 --> 01:15:48,249
-Everybody in.
-Come on. Hurry up.
1419
01:15:51,919 --> 01:15:55,222
Can you go a bit faster?
He's heading for the motorway.
1420
01:15:57,792 --> 01:16:01,195
Emma, darling,
time for your pottery class.
1421
01:16:01,262 --> 01:16:02,630
Emma?
1422
01:16:02,696 --> 01:16:04,932
Emma. Emma!
1423
01:16:05,534 --> 01:16:06,634
She's gone.
1424
01:16:07,068 --> 01:16:09,270
She's gone.
Spencer, get the car!
1425
01:16:09,336 --> 01:16:11,005
We're going to Stoneford!
1426
01:16:16,143 --> 01:16:18,479
Brad, I just want to say
I'm very grateful
1427
01:16:18,547 --> 01:16:19,680
that you're doing this.
1428
01:16:19,747 --> 01:16:21,348
Of course, we're friends.
1429
01:16:23,651 --> 01:16:24,553
-Cara could be dead.
-Dead?
1430
01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:25,853
-Dead?
-What?
1431
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:27,221
I thought it was
only a custody battle.
1432
01:16:27,556 --> 01:16:32,226
Somebody say custard?
'Cause custody. No? No.
1433
01:16:34,962 --> 01:16:36,864
We've left Cassandra behind.
1434
01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:40,901
A part in next year's pantomime.
1435
01:16:40,968 --> 01:16:42,770
-Are you serious?
-Absolutely, darling.
1436
01:16:42,837 --> 01:16:44,438
I mean, that would be wonderful.
1437
01:16:44,506 --> 01:16:47,074
I've always thought there
might be a pantomime in me.
1438
01:16:47,141 --> 01:16:51,245
And I've always
thought the same about a judge.
1439
01:16:53,214 --> 01:16:54,815
Mm-hmm.
1440
01:16:58,285 --> 01:16:59,687
That's his car.
1441
01:17:14,503 --> 01:17:15,769
Everybody stay here.
1442
01:17:16,571 --> 01:17:17,805
Cara.
1443
01:17:18,772 --> 01:17:20,007
Cara.
1444
01:17:21,775 --> 01:17:22,977
Cara.
1445
01:17:23,043 --> 01:17:25,412
Cara! Cara! Cara!
1446
01:17:25,813 --> 01:17:27,882
What's all the shouting about?
1447
01:17:27,948 --> 01:17:29,216
Where's her daughter?
1448
01:17:29,717 --> 01:17:30,985
What do you mean?
1449
01:17:31,051 --> 01:17:32,621
Tell me
where her daughter is, now.
1450
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:34,288
What are you talking about?
1451
01:17:34,355 --> 01:17:36,724
Stop screwing around, Kieran,
or so help me God.
1452
01:17:36,790 --> 01:17:39,727
Or what? You gonna go
and get your stuntman?
1453
01:17:41,729 --> 01:17:43,230
Yah!
1454
01:17:47,268 --> 01:17:48,769
What are you doing?
1455
01:17:52,873 --> 01:17:54,108
Get him, Brad!
1456
01:18:05,620 --> 01:18:07,388
What are you doing?
1457
01:18:07,454 --> 01:18:08,756
That's humiliating.
1458
01:18:15,129 --> 01:18:17,097
Ooh!
1459
01:18:23,237 --> 01:18:25,039
Ooh!
1460
01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:38,986
-Why are we doing this?
-Because you kidnapped Cara.
1461
01:18:39,053 --> 01:18:40,788
What are you talking about?
1462
01:18:40,821 --> 01:18:42,790
I just dropped her
at the train station.
1463
01:18:43,924 --> 01:18:45,627
What? Train...
1464
01:18:45,993 --> 01:18:47,061
Where is she going?
1465
01:18:47,529 --> 01:18:50,632
Nowhere. She said
she had to meet a friend.
1466
01:18:50,699 --> 01:18:52,233
Yeah, I don't believe you.
1467
01:18:52,299 --> 01:18:54,636
I heard you tell Jill
you were taking her to London.
1468
01:18:54,703 --> 01:18:55,803
I was.
1469
01:18:56,437 --> 01:18:58,405
It's my turn
to have her this year.
1470
01:19:00,874 --> 01:19:02,810
Promised her
she could do the pantomime.
1471
01:19:02,876 --> 01:19:04,945
I didn't wanna
disappoint her. So...
1472
01:19:06,013 --> 01:19:07,682
I'm a crap dad to Cara
1473
01:19:07,815 --> 01:19:11,018
and I was a crap husband
to Jill.
1474
01:19:11,085 --> 01:19:13,387
You're not a crap dad, okay.
1475
01:19:15,624 --> 01:19:16,725
You're there for her.
1476
01:19:17,424 --> 01:19:19,994
That's a lot better
than I can say for myself
1477
01:19:20,060 --> 01:19:21,328
over the last five years.
1478
01:19:21,395 --> 01:19:23,831
One thing
I learnt here in Stoneford,
1479
01:19:23,831 --> 01:19:26,166
life isn't gonna go
the way you want it.
1480
01:19:26,233 --> 01:19:29,003
It is what it is
and you cannot run away from it.
1481
01:19:30,639 --> 01:19:33,907
You just have to embrace it
for all its unpredictability
1482
01:19:33,974 --> 01:19:35,510
with everything you've got.
1483
01:19:40,481 --> 01:19:44,519
Well, you know,
Cara was doing the panto and...
1484
01:19:46,588 --> 01:19:50,457
I would love to
see her on stage, if it's okay.
1485
01:19:52,893 --> 01:19:54,128
Of course.
1486
01:19:56,698 --> 01:19:58,299
Oh, crap, we gotta go.
1487
01:20:03,237 --> 01:20:04,872
Oh...
1488
01:20:07,542 --> 01:20:10,411
Cara went to see a friend,
she'll meet us at the theatre.
1489
01:20:16,283 --> 01:20:17,318
Let's go!
1490
01:20:33,200 --> 01:20:35,202
♪ Driving home for Christmas ♪
1491
01:20:37,304 --> 01:20:40,608
♪ Oh, I can't wait to see
those faces ♪
1492
01:20:43,745 --> 01:20:47,047
♪ I'm driving home
for Christmas, yeah ♪
1493
01:20:48,783 --> 01:20:51,352
♪ I'm moving down the line ♪
1494
01:20:54,421 --> 01:20:56,624
♪ It's been so long ♪
1495
01:20:58,158 --> 01:21:00,094
♪ But I will be there ♪
1496
01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:02,096
♪ I sing this song ♪
1497
01:21:03,464 --> 01:21:05,834
♪ To pass the time away ♪
1498
01:21:06,367 --> 01:21:08,469
♪ Driving in my car ♪
1499
01:21:08,536 --> 01:21:11,639
♪ Driving home for Christmas ♪
1500
01:21:15,476 --> 01:21:19,279
♪ Gonna take some time
but I'll get there ♪
1501
01:21:31,959 --> 01:21:33,961
You're a big movie star, Mr Mac.
1502
01:21:33,994 --> 01:21:35,329
Isn't the role of Buttons
a small part
1503
01:21:35,396 --> 01:21:36,865
for someone of your stature?
1504
01:21:36,964 --> 01:21:38,265
Well, I'll quote
the great Stanislavski.
1505
01:21:38,332 --> 01:21:40,067
There are no small parts,
just small actors.
1506
01:21:40,134 --> 01:21:41,569
And how are you enjoying
your time in Stoneford?
1507
01:21:41,636 --> 01:21:45,472
-Dad!
-Emma! Excuse me. Sweetheart!
1508
01:21:45,973 --> 01:21:47,307
-What are you doing here?
-Mum!
1509
01:21:47,374 --> 01:21:49,309
I snuck out of the house
and took the train.
1510
01:21:49,376 --> 01:21:50,845
Cara met me at the station.
1511
01:21:50,978 --> 01:21:53,548
Oh, sweetheart,
I'm so happy to see you,
1512
01:21:53,615 --> 01:21:55,382
but you're 12 years old.
1513
01:21:55,449 --> 01:21:59,019
You cannot take a train across
the country by yourself, okay?
1514
01:21:59,086 --> 01:22:00,988
Next time, just call me.
1515
01:22:00,988 --> 01:22:02,489
Come here.
1516
01:22:02,557 --> 01:22:04,793
I see you're getting the hang
of proper parenting.
1517
01:22:04,992 --> 01:22:06,393
Better late than never.
1518
01:22:06,460 --> 01:22:08,362
Oh, on that subject,
it's time to get into costume.
1519
01:22:08,429 --> 01:22:11,098
-Ready?
-Show time.
1520
01:22:28,315 --> 01:22:29,717
It's my first theatre.
1521
01:22:32,319 --> 01:22:36,724
Once upon a time
in a magical land...
1522
01:22:36,791 --> 01:22:39,661
Oh, that must be Buttons.
1523
01:22:39,727 --> 01:22:42,029
My oldest and dearest friend.
1524
01:22:42,062 --> 01:22:44,599
I can always rely on Buttons.
1525
01:22:47,401 --> 01:22:50,538
I said,
I can always rely on Buttons!
1526
01:22:53,373 --> 01:22:54,609
Has anyone seen...
1527
01:22:54,676 --> 01:22:55,710
You'll do fine.
1528
01:22:57,946 --> 01:22:59,480
Needed the lipstick.
1529
01:22:59,547 --> 01:23:01,916
One, two, three.
1530
01:23:02,049 --> 01:23:03,651
Buttons!
1531
01:23:23,538 --> 01:23:26,406
Don't worry, mate.
She's been killing time.
1532
01:23:29,276 --> 01:23:30,845
-Cinderella.
-Hmm?
1533
01:23:30,912 --> 01:23:32,079
I have a secret.
1534
01:23:32,079 --> 01:23:33,648
A secret.
1535
01:23:33,715 --> 01:23:35,082
What is it?
1536
01:23:35,082 --> 01:23:36,416
Well, a secret's something
you tell someone
1537
01:23:36,483 --> 01:23:38,118
that you don't want
anyone else to know.
1538
01:23:38,185 --> 01:23:41,255
I'd stick to movies, mate.
1539
01:23:41,321 --> 01:23:43,691
Do yourself a favour
and shut your mouth.
1540
01:23:44,124 --> 01:23:46,493
I almost forgot my big run-up.
1541
01:23:46,561 --> 01:23:48,228
Ooh.
1542
01:23:52,934 --> 01:23:55,102
I do my own stunts now.
1543
01:23:58,372 --> 01:24:00,909
Just like the other big stars.
1544
01:24:00,975 --> 01:24:02,242
Whoo!
1545
01:24:07,281 --> 01:24:10,552
They're booing you, Fanny.
They're booing you.
1546
01:24:10,618 --> 01:24:13,521
You shan't go to the ball,
Cinderella.
1547
01:24:13,588 --> 01:24:16,691
You shan't,
you shan't, you shan't.
1548
01:24:16,758 --> 01:24:18,760
Yeah, rip it, rip it.
1549
01:24:18,826 --> 01:24:22,429
All you have to do is believe
and magic will happen.
1550
01:24:26,501 --> 01:24:29,837
You shall go to the ball,
Cinderella.
1551
01:24:33,041 --> 01:24:35,175
Tell you what, mate, there'll be
somebody good looking in here
1552
01:24:35,242 --> 01:24:36,878
you can have a little chat with.
1553
01:24:36,945 --> 01:24:39,847
Let's see if we can
find a good-looking fella.
1554
01:24:39,914 --> 01:24:41,616
Let's have a little look
1555
01:24:41,683 --> 01:24:44,451
for a good looking fella, we can
find a good-looking fella.
1556
01:24:44,519 --> 01:24:46,588
-See if we can find a...
-Has to be a good-looking fella.
1557
01:24:46,654 --> 01:24:48,422
-A good-looking fella.
-Has to be a good-looking fella.
1558
01:24:48,488 --> 01:24:50,157
Oh, you sir. You, sir.
1559
01:24:50,190 --> 01:24:51,893
Can you see
any good-looking fellas in here?
1560
01:25:15,717 --> 01:25:18,352
Pop it on. The doctor says
I've got the feet of an athlete.
1561
01:25:18,418 --> 01:25:20,655
No, he said you've got
athlete's foot, it's different.
1562
01:25:21,990 --> 01:25:23,925
-Toes are curled.
-Look at those chubby feet.
1563
01:25:23,992 --> 01:25:26,561
Hey, you can't say chubby.
That's-- your fattist.
1564
01:25:26,628 --> 01:25:28,362
I think you're the fattest.
1565
01:25:29,030 --> 01:25:30,898
Sorry about this, Your Highness.
1566
01:25:32,299 --> 01:25:34,936
-Yes!
-Oh!
1567
01:25:39,841 --> 01:25:43,077
-So we didn't get our prince.
-Never mind.
1568
01:25:43,210 --> 01:25:45,212
Who's ready for the big finale?
1569
01:25:46,781 --> 01:25:48,816
Thanks, everybody.
1570
01:25:48,883 --> 01:25:52,520
We'll see you later. Bye!
1571
01:25:55,890 --> 01:25:59,594
♪ I used to bite my tongue
and hold my breath ♪
1572
01:25:59,661 --> 01:26:03,363
♪ Scared to rock the boat
and make a mess ♪
1573
01:26:03,430 --> 01:26:06,400
♪ So I sat quietly ♪
1574
01:26:07,101 --> 01:26:09,671
♪ Agreed politely ♪
1575
01:26:10,538 --> 01:26:13,741
♪ Guess that I forgot I had
the choice ♪
1576
01:26:13,808 --> 01:26:17,477
♪ I let you push me
past my breaking point ♪
1577
01:26:17,545 --> 01:26:20,480
♪ I stood for nothing ♪
1578
01:26:20,548 --> 01:26:23,283
♪ So I fell for everything ♪
1579
01:26:23,851 --> 01:26:26,688
♪ You held me down,
but I got up ♪
1580
01:26:26,754 --> 01:26:29,991
♪ Already brushing off
the dust ♪
1581
01:26:30,058 --> 01:26:31,258
♪ You hear my voice ♪
1582
01:26:31,324 --> 01:26:33,460
♪ You hear that sound ♪
1583
01:26:33,528 --> 01:26:35,530
♪ Like thunder gonna shake
the ground ♪
1584
01:26:35,596 --> 01:26:38,465
♪ You held me down,
but I got up ♪
1585
01:26:38,933 --> 01:26:41,169
♪ Get ready 'cause
I've had enough ♪
1586
01:26:41,268 --> 01:26:43,871
♪ I see it all, I see it now ♪
1587
01:26:44,605 --> 01:26:47,742
♪ I got the eye of the tiger ♪
1588
01:26:47,809 --> 01:26:51,478
♪ A fighter, dancing through
the fire ♪
1589
01:26:51,546 --> 01:26:53,948
♪ 'Cause I am a champion ♪
1590
01:26:54,015 --> 01:26:57,752
♪ And you're going
to hear me roar ♪
1591
01:26:58,418 --> 01:27:02,190
♪ Louder, louder than a lion ♪
1592
01:27:02,289 --> 01:27:04,625
♪ Cause I am a champion ♪
1593
01:27:04,692 --> 01:27:08,462
♪ And you're going
to hear me roar ♪
1594
01:27:15,636 --> 01:27:19,974
♪ You're gonna hear me roar ♪
1595
01:27:26,748 --> 01:27:31,318
♪ You're gonna hear me roar ♪
1596
01:27:37,658 --> 01:27:41,596
♪ Roar, roar, roar ♪
1597
01:27:41,662 --> 01:27:45,166
♪ Roar, roar ♪
1598
01:27:45,233 --> 01:27:48,536
♪ I got the eye of the tiger ♪
1599
01:27:48,603 --> 01:27:52,206
♪ A fighter, dancing
through the fire ♪
1600
01:27:52,339 --> 01:27:54,642
♪ 'Cause I am a champion ♪
1601
01:27:54,709 --> 01:27:58,179
♪ And you're going
to hear me roar ♪
1602
01:27:58,246 --> 01:28:02,116
♪ Louder, louder than a lion ♪
1603
01:28:02,183 --> 01:28:04,585
♪ 'Cause I am a champion ♪
1604
01:28:04,652 --> 01:28:08,355
♪ And you're going
to hear me roar ♪
1605
01:28:15,196 --> 01:28:19,634
♪ You're going to
hear me roar ♪
1606
01:28:26,040 --> 01:28:31,279
♪ You're going to
hear me roar ♪
1607
01:29:00,775 --> 01:29:01,809
So...
1608
01:29:03,978 --> 01:29:07,114
Look, I'm no good
at talking about feelings
1609
01:29:07,181 --> 01:29:08,683
and stuff like that.
1610
01:29:08,749 --> 01:29:09,884
Shut up.
1611
01:29:14,421 --> 01:29:15,623
Wow.
1612
01:29:18,425 --> 01:29:20,928
My God.
My hands are still shaking.
1613
01:29:21,428 --> 01:29:24,165
Darlings, you were marvellous!
1614
01:29:24,232 --> 01:29:26,167
Thank you, Albert.
That means the world to me.
1615
01:29:26,234 --> 01:29:27,969
Coming from a true panto legend.
1616
01:29:28,035 --> 01:29:29,436
You both were.
1617
01:29:30,304 --> 01:29:31,839
Well, that's it.
From here on in,
1618
01:29:31,906 --> 01:29:33,875
I'm only doing pantomime.
I loved it.
1619
01:29:33,941 --> 01:29:38,713
Well that's good 'cause you
still got 49 more shows to go.
1620
01:29:38,779 --> 01:29:41,182
What? Are you insane?
1621
01:29:41,249 --> 01:29:42,216
Forty-nine more shows?
1622
01:29:42,283 --> 01:29:43,517
I can't do that.
1623
01:29:46,254 --> 01:29:47,622
Just kidding.
1624
01:29:48,356 --> 01:29:49,523
I can't wait.
1625
01:30:40,942 --> 01:30:43,811
Brad, wonderful work today.
1626
01:30:44,145 --> 01:30:46,147
It's a killing field 7.
1627
01:30:51,552 --> 01:30:55,389
Oh, the brake went down.
Sorry. No, I can't...
1628
01:30:55,455 --> 01:30:57,558
Buttons.
There you are.
1629
01:30:59,994 --> 01:31:03,564
If all else fails,
just dramatically faint.
1630
01:31:03,631 --> 01:31:04,865
Really?
1631
01:31:06,600 --> 01:31:07,702
-You've missed a bit.
-Oh, God.
1632
01:31:07,768 --> 01:31:09,070
She's not even good at cleaning.
1633
01:31:09,136 --> 01:31:11,539
-Oh, she's rubbish.
-Oh, ugly as well.
1634
01:31:11,605 --> 01:31:12,974
-Ugh.
-Ugh.
1635
01:31:13,040 --> 01:31:14,542
And you've sweeped,
it's in my direction!
1636
01:31:14,575 --> 01:31:15,710
I've got allergies!
1637
01:31:15,776 --> 01:31:17,378
Look at the state of her.
1638
01:31:17,445 --> 01:31:18,846
Oh, I'm triggered.
She triggered me.
1639
01:31:18,913 --> 01:31:22,550
Again, not exactly sure
what's happening.
1640
01:31:22,984 --> 01:31:24,151
Show me what?
1641
01:31:25,586 --> 01:31:27,555
That was much better, wasn't it?
1642
01:31:28,556 --> 01:31:31,592
Ooh. Mmm. Mmm.
1643
01:31:35,830 --> 01:31:38,466
What's happened to Brenda?
1644
01:31:38,866 --> 01:31:41,168
We've left Cara behind.
1645
01:31:41,235 --> 01:31:43,337
Cassandra, Cassandra.
1646
01:31:43,404 --> 01:31:45,006
Katy Perry just called.
1647
01:31:45,072 --> 01:31:47,575
She said, I wanna see it again.
1648
01:31:47,575 --> 01:31:49,210
I'm gonna fly to Stoneford.
1649
01:31:49,276 --> 01:31:51,712
-Mmm.
-Oh, no.
1650
01:31:51,779 --> 01:31:55,683
Oh, no, behave!
1651
01:31:55,750 --> 01:31:58,052
Whoo!
I wanna have your babies, Brad.
1652
01:31:58,119 --> 01:31:59,286
That was marvellous.
1653
01:32:05,960 --> 01:32:07,762
Why are we doing this?
1654
01:32:08,796 --> 01:32:10,598
Because they're paying us.
1655
01:32:16,604 --> 01:32:19,607
I'm so sorry.
1656
01:32:21,375 --> 01:32:22,610
Sorry.
1657
01:32:22,676 --> 01:32:25,079
Finally, a blooper
you can't use.