1 00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:04,463 Cutler: Yesterday 2 00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:06,924 was your first blood for how long? 3 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,509 Hal: Fifty-five years. 4 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,928 Cutler: How did her blood taste? 5 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,264 Tangentially. I was involved tangentially. 6 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,141 You weren't drinking my blood tangentially. 7 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,869 How many times are you going to bring that up? 8 00:00:16,893 --> 00:00:18,394 Hail! 9 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:19,604 I love you. 10 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,488 I'm stuck like this? 11 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:30,698 Forever? 12 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:35,286 That's it. We are finding my body and I am totally passing over. 13 00:00:36,913 --> 00:00:38,080 And, if we need to, 14 00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:43,002 we can make people disappear in a puff of smoke. 15 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,339 Untie me, you hound! 16 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:47,632 Untie me, bitch! 17 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,255 Lady Catherine. 18 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:28,381 Lord hal. 19 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:35,721 You got my message then? 20 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:36,847 Message? 21 00:01:40,101 --> 00:01:43,813 I say message, I just allowed you to discover my whereabouts. 22 00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:46,607 I knew you wouldn't be able to resist the chance to kill me. 23 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,150 I'm surprised there wasn't a queue. 24 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,407 Whool but the werewolf army 25 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:57,368 would never let their leader embark on a solo assassination. 26 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,870 Let me guess, you stuffed a pillow beneath your blanket 27 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,598 and slipped away under the cover of darkness? 28 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,291 Took me back to my convent days. 29 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,132 Ooh! 30 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:22,601 You could have at least warned your guards I was coming. 31 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,646 Save me from killing one of them. 32 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:29,066 It's precisely that dreary compassion for staff 33 00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,652 that would have lost you this war anyway. 34 00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,362 What do you mean, 35 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,614 "would have lost me this war?" 36 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:38,284 We need to parley. 37 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:49,253 This civil war between our clans has been raging for seven years. 38 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:52,588 In fact, I believe it is what triggered the current war in the human world. 39 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,259 Obviously, there's nothing... 40 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,927 We enjoy more... 41 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,223 Than a good rough and tumble. 42 00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:05,770 But we have reason to believe we're being manipulated. 43 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,774 Someone else, something else 44 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,650 is fanning the flames of this conflict. 45 00:03:14,779 --> 00:03:16,906 So the same thought has occurred to you, too? 46 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,282 But who? 47 00:03:19,492 --> 00:03:20,534 Who could do that? 48 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,788 Lady Catherine, we are not at war with each other, 49 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:28,084 we are at war with the devil. 50 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,403 This isn't about rehabilitation anymore. This is vindictive. 51 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,646 You stay in the chair until you're over the blood lust. 52 00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:41,133 Come on, it'll make you big and strong. 53 00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:42,408 I don't mean the chair. 54 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,368 I implore you, 55 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,745 put a screen in front of me. Give me a blindfold. 56 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,706 No one should have to look at this. 57 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,100 Well, we could put a cover over your head. 58 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,834 Like how you tell a budgie it's night time. 59 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,378 Well, don't look at me! 60 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,380 I can't eat or drink, so none of this is mine. 61 00:04:57,173 --> 00:05:00,759 And besides, I spent my entire life cleaning up after my smelly brothers. 62 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:06,098 So until the moment I pass over I shall be mostly reading magazines 63 00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:08,100 or watching the Welsh rugby team getchanged. 64 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,811 When you go, let me know if you'd like me to accompany you. 65 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,938 There's some weird people out there. 66 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,816 Says the werewolf spoon-feeding mashed banana to the vampire. 67 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,903 Look, 10 minutes is all I ask. Supervised, of course. 68 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,364 Just so I can do a quick... Run round with the hoover 69 00:05:22,448 --> 00:05:24,658 and sort out the recycling! 70 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:25,868 Please! 71 00:05:28,204 --> 00:05:29,747 This is torture! 72 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:33,083 If we wanted to torture you, we would show you a picture of the bathroom. 73 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,835 The bathroom, too? 74 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,713 You people are animals. 75 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:43,177 What do you reckon? Is he safe? 76 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,348 Well, a few days ago he stopped shouting abuse 77 00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:49,725 and started correcting my grammar again, so... 78 00:05:50,518 --> 00:05:52,228 I guess that's got to be a good sign. 79 00:05:52,311 --> 00:05:55,111 Well, how long does it take for a vampire to get over their blood lust? 80 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,817 A week? A month? A year? Who do we ask? 81 00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:00,819 I guess we ask him. 82 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:14,416 - We're thinking of letting you out. - Thank you. 83 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,145 Fill a bowl with boiling water and washing-up liquid. 84 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,796 This is a two-sets-of-marigolds problem. 85 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,132 "Out" out. But it's your call. 86 00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:24,635 If you're still dangerous, say so now. 87 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,638 - What? - I mean it, hal. We can wait some more. 88 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,734 Don't let me do this if you're still a risk. 89 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,144 There must... 90 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,063 Be a structure. 91 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:39,275 First off, you steer clear of vampires. They're a bad influence. 92 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:40,985 That goes for all of us. 93 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,903 No more supernatural nonsense. 94 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,864 - Agreed. - And if you drink blood again, then... 95 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,533 You kill me. 96 00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,952 I was thinking more along the lines of a fine. 97 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,289 Drinking blood means I have become the man I fear. 98 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:58,085 Drinking blood is the overture to a greater catastrophe. 99 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,423 You need to swear on summat. 100 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,385 On the memory of Eve. 101 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,598 On the memory of Eve. 102 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,685 Right then! 103 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,007 Okay, dick-splash, 104 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,344 for the last time, I'm not planning anything. 105 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:52,389 Don't get me wrong, I could pull your kidneys out through your nostrils, 106 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:53,849 if I wanted. 107 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:57,144 But lucky for you, I'm getting way too old for this shit. 108 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,980 Hetty, you're the last of the old ones. 109 00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:02,316 Of course you're planning something. 110 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,069 Malevolence and greed are hard-wired into your DNA. 111 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,987 Yeah? 112 00:08:07,071 --> 00:08:09,823 And your mum's so fat, her blood type's rag... 113 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,743 Besides, who says I'm the last one? 114 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,119 What? 115 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:15,746 Can I smoke in here? 116 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,039 Hetty. 117 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,166 There's another old one. 118 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:23,796 In fact, it's 'cause of him our whole world domination thing went tits-up. 119 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:24,963 Who? 120 00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:28,634 Hal. A human sympathizer. He was always kind of skittish. 121 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,220 What if we opened a window? 122 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,138 Seriously, I'm gasping here. 123 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,724 How about this? 124 00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:39,520 You tell me all you can about this hal 125 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:44,775 and I'll arrange for an air force flight to return you to Bolivia tomorrow. 126 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,070 Sounds like a plan. 127 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,364 But make sure they've got some crayons, 128 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,741 in case I wanna draw some ponies and shit. 129 00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:08,257 Smell that alpine freshness. 130 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:13,262 What's this? 131 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:17,391 This, my friends, is peace in our time. 132 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,352 It's okay. I've seen it all before, it's a cleaning rota. 133 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:25,399 I've split the domestic duties into three sub-groups. 134 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,359 Tom, Alex and I. 135 00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:29,361 Why's there one for me? 136 00:09:29,445 --> 00:09:30,779 I'll be passing over soon. 137 00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:32,823 Yes, but until then you're part of this household. 138 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,242 Now... 139 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,845 Oh, but then you're just gonna have to draw up a whole new rota. 140 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,372 I know. Now... 141 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:42,750 How are you going to complete your business and pass over? 142 00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:46,336 Find my body somehow and get it to my family, I guess, 143 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,297 so they can all grieve and stuff. 144 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:49,631 Didn't them blokes take it? 145 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:54,344 Yeah, so we just find out who they are and then go to the papers or something. 146 00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,987 Well, that's obviously out of the question. 147 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,603 We cannot risk... 148 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,565 Werewolves and vampires and ghosts being revealed to the world. 149 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,650 The consequences could be catastrophic. 150 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,278 - Column one... - Er, no, sorry, 151 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:16,074 you, of all people, don't get to dictate what we tell my dad and brothers. 152 00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:17,201 What does that mean? 153 00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:18,994 "Me, of all people?" 154 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,954 I'm not letting a good man die of grief 155 00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:23,540 just to protect the fucking twilight franchise. 156 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,459 We'll discuss this later. 157 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,503 You can discuss it later. 158 00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:29,755 - With yourself. - That doesn't even make sense. 159 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,965 - Cleaning rota. - Thank you, Tom. 160 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,052 As you can see, 161 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:39,431 Alex has the lion's share of the domestic tasks. 162 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:43,519 Tom and I will take on extra shifts at the cafe to cover the rent. 163 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:45,121 Why are you looking at each other like that? 164 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,940 Erm, the cafe. 165 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,823 Tony didn't like us taking all them shifts off 166 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,402 while you were strapped in the chair, so he sort of sacked us. 167 00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:56,907 On the bright side, you get to make a new rota. 168 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,670 Not one name! 169 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,381 How am I supposed to get a five-a-side team together 170 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,591 if no one signs up, you lazy buggers? 171 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:19,054 And who forgot to tell me you were all going to the pub last night? 172 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,598 I bet someone felt daft when they realized. 173 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,519 Probably just as well. 174 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:26,895 I was updating my blog. 175 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,648 Those games don't review themselves. 176 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,441 Martin: Crumb! 177 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,568 Oop! 178 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:36,488 Ahh! 179 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,498 It's cram. 180 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,917 What is? 181 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:52,004 My name. Like the runner, Steve cram. 182 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,940 He was voted sports personality of the year in... 183 00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,340 Your position's up for review. 184 00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,343 I'm shaking up the whole floor. 185 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,846 Separating the wheat from the boys. 186 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,683 Bringing new blood in, like... Well, I don't know... 187 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,894 Gavin. 188 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,312 What your nephew, Gavin? 189 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,442 Is he my nephew? 190 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:15,903 Well, he's a smart lad. 191 00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:18,739 In my Christmas quiz he said alopecia was a mountain! 192 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,909 So he doesn't know much about plants. Big deal. 193 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:26,455 There'll be a panel, which I "might" be on. 194 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,416 You need to reapply. 195 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,753 For the job I already have? 196 00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:43,555 Alex: See? Told you. 197 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:44,932 Problem solved. 198 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:49,054 People on board a ship that's capsizing don't use that many exclamation marks. 199 00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:58,671 Tom: Oh my god. Do you really think we could work in a place like this? 200 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,030 Knowing our luck. 201 00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,950 Man: No, not that one, you stupid bitch! 202 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,328 It's the cushion with the trim around the edges! 203 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,956 Don't you understand anything, you ignorant shit? 204 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:10,999 Captain hatch? 205 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,794 Perhaps we could use our inside voice 206 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,129 and say, "not today, thank you" to the expletives. 207 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,591 Oh, patsy, you're absolutely right, I do apologize. I'm so sorry. 208 00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,259 Thank you. Good. 209 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,387 Can I help? 210 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,347 Yeah, we're here for the interviews. 211 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,604 Hot. 212 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,773 Sorry? 213 00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,024 In here. It's... 214 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,236 It's very hot in here. 215 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:42,239 Could, erm... Could someone open a window? 216 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,853 Tom: I've always wanted to work in a hotel, 217 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,272 ever since me and dad snuck into the Bristol Hilton 218 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,565 when I was 14. 219 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:19,568 We were hunting a vampire called radley. 220 00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:20,694 Radley? 221 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,988 I know radley. Big ginger fella? 222 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:24,614 - Yeah. - How was he? 223 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,378 Yeah, good. Until we killed him, obviously. 224 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,202 I'm gonna go check out the competition. 225 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:31,329 Draw some cocks on the applications. 226 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:37,919 - Tom mcnair? - Yep. 227 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,884 Kill 'em. Metaphorically. 228 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:56,063 Man: When you talk to other vampires, as even you must from time to time, 229 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,983 how do you account for your continued anonymity? 230 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,528 Luck? 231 00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:04,654 Skill? 232 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,407 Or humanity's stupidity? 233 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:15,207 I know you. The basement of that nightclub, a month or so ago. 234 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,292 You took my friend's body. 235 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,877 Who are you? 236 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,670 My name is Dominic rook. 237 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:25,425 My job is to maintain the illusion that man is alone, 238 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,721 and it has been the job of people like me for hundreds of years. 239 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,559 By telling me all this, aren't you rather missing the point 240 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,353 of a clandestine organization? 241 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,021 I have a proposition for you. 242 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,233 You are a rare creature, hal. 243 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:46,321 A human sympathizer with an eminent position in vampire society. 244 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,866 It gives us an opportunity. 245 00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:53,912 If you were to take charge of the vampires, 246 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,833 we could strike an accord between our two worlds. 247 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,962 No. 248 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,423 I can't do that. 249 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:09,553 In exchange for a cessation of chaos and violence, 250 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,265 we will provide you with per diems, premises 251 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:16,476 and the means to acquire blood 252 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,686 consensually. 253 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,031 I don't need blood anymore. 254 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,034 I've been dry for over 60 years. 255 00:16:33,118 --> 00:16:34,995 You're sweating, hal, 256 00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:36,913 your hands are shaking. 257 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,671 What happened to my friend's body? 258 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,089 Offhand I don't recall. 259 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:50,510 Some are returned to their families with an appropriate cover story, 260 00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:52,971 others, we let the families create their own narratives. 261 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,366 But if you were to help me I'm sure I could find... 262 00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,600 No, erm... 263 00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:58,935 No, that's... 264 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,565 Look, I can't return to that world. 265 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,985 I've seen vampires try to live a human life before. 266 00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,613 It always ends in tears. 267 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:15,327 Incidentally, we've been monitoring this place. 268 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,498 Thirty seven people have committed suicide here in as many years. 269 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:26,379 As far as we can tell it's not werewolf or vampire-related. 270 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,673 But... 271 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,134 If you get the job, keep an eye out. 272 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,597 Perhaps it's the decor. 273 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,601 You can find me here. 274 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,729 The old ones are gone, hal. 275 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:47,651 The remaining vampires are rudderless and volatile. 276 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,987 We can mold them into any shape we wish. 277 00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,281 Trust me... 278 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,600 You don't want to see a world where I'm leading the vampires. 279 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,513 So here's my question for you, how do you shave? 280 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,598 Don't do that! 281 00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:20,141 All right, sorry, Nana. 282 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,686 I'm sorry again about the crying. 283 00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,354 Yeah, no worries. 284 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:28,775 So, ready for me to pump you? 285 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,155 - Yes. - Have you... 286 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,993 Any experience in the hotel trade? 287 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,012 Well, I've stayed in the savoy... 288 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:42,038 Brilliant. You're in. 289 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:45,208 Can't wait to have you. Here. 290 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,460 I mean, have you... in the hotel. 291 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:50,797 Working in the hotel. 292 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,299 Yeah, we're both really excited. 293 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,301 - Yeah. - Yeah. 294 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,311 That was your interview? 295 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,674 I had a general knowledge round. 296 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:08,231 Well, someone's clearly taken a shine to our hal. 297 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,905 Is anyone else fast forwarding to her ghost living in the house with us? 298 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:14,738 What? 299 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,240 Oh, come on, that's funny. 300 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,492 Okay, can we all just remind ourselves, 301 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:21,578 I didn't kill you. 302 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:24,080 We've indulged this myth long enough. 303 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,582 Right, well, a: 304 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,251 You, of all people, do not get to say when my death is old news. 305 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,229 - And b: I never actually said... - "Me, of all people." 306 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,480 - You killed me. - You're doing it again. 307 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,091 But you weren't exactly an innocent bystander to it all either, were you? 308 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,011 When you asked me out on that date, 309 00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:41,556 you knew exactly what kind of world you were bringing me into. 310 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:47,270 You shouldn't be wearing suits and talking to girls and being charming. 311 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,940 You should have a fucking sign round your neck and a bell! 312 00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:52,442 You should be living in a cave! 313 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,413 What the hell happened there then? 314 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,768 For Christ's sake! 315 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,997 Oh, god. I'm sorry! 316 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,418 Hal: No, wait! I can explain! 317 00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:47,724 Unh! 318 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,061 Help me. 319 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:55,732 Please. Help me. 320 00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:15,251 If this is a trick, 321 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:18,546 I shall plunge this into your calcified heart. 322 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:21,007 And you wonder why you're single. 323 00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:31,267 Not interrupting, are we? 324 00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,437 Yes, actually. 325 00:22:34,562 --> 00:22:36,898 I was reading some ancient texts. 326 00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:38,942 Oh! 327 00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:42,195 Lady Catherine glass, leader of the werewolves. 328 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:45,114 Emil Parsons, dead wizard. 329 00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:47,116 Necromancer. 330 00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:50,787 I was master of the black arts. 331 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,790 Sorcerer supreme. 332 00:22:53,915 --> 00:22:56,626 Gatekeeper to the forbidden world. 333 00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:57,961 How did you die? 334 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,382 - I had to be silenced. - I knew too much. 335 00:23:02,465 --> 00:23:05,226 He fell out of a tree trying to see into his sister-in-law's bathroom. 336 00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:08,638 Catherine: Emil, we need your help. 337 00:23:10,765 --> 00:23:13,560 We believe this war between the werewolves and the vampires 338 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:16,104 is being exacerbated by the devil. 339 00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:20,316 He feeds on the energy created by our conflict. 340 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,652 That doesn't make any sense. 341 00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,821 Potassium. 342 00:23:24,904 --> 00:23:28,199 What would happen if you mixed this with... 343 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,659 Olsiis? 344 00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,869 It would blow your pretty head off. 345 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:36,416 Two chemicals, benign apart, but when thrust together, 346 00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:38,835 they produce an explosion of energy. 347 00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:42,589 The conflict between the werewolves and the vampires 348 00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:46,676 generates such an energy, upon which the devil feasts and grows fat. 349 00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:51,556 If this power grows unchecked it will bring about the apocalypse. 350 00:23:52,515 --> 00:23:54,058 We have called a ceasefire. 351 00:23:54,517 --> 00:23:59,063 But it is my belief we need some kind of spell or ritual, 352 00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:04,444 to symbolize our new unity and defeat the devil once and for all. 353 00:24:04,527 --> 00:24:06,529 The world teeters on the brink of calamity. 354 00:24:07,864 --> 00:24:11,034 We face an enemy of unimaginable cunning and power. 355 00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:14,662 So let's keep cock-ups to an absolute minimum. 356 00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,380 - Was that you? - No. Yes. 357 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,382 What are you doing down here? 358 00:25:07,465 --> 00:25:09,467 Uh, measuring up. 359 00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,804 I'm thinking of installing a... 360 00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:13,930 Sauna. 361 00:25:14,555 --> 00:25:15,598 Down here. 362 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,727 Sorry for yesterday. 363 00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:22,563 Blaming you for my death, 364 00:25:22,647 --> 00:25:25,274 when really it was your friend and all you did was drink my blood. 365 00:25:26,776 --> 00:25:28,111 Why do women do that? 366 00:25:30,071 --> 00:25:31,447 Don't give it another thought. 367 00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:35,993 - What are you lot doing down here? - Hal's building a sauna. 368 00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:38,371 A sauna? 369 00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:39,497 Here? 370 00:25:40,081 --> 00:25:41,457 That's ridiculous. 371 00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:45,294 Excuse me, weren't you planning to put a swimming pool in the garden? 372 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:47,940 I said that 'cause we'd only just met and, you know as well as I do, 373 00:25:47,964 --> 00:25:50,591 - I was really making a bomb. - Fine. I'm making a bomb. 374 00:25:50,675 --> 00:25:52,510 Thank you. 375 00:25:52,635 --> 00:25:55,555 - It's the lying that hurts. - Well, let's have a look, then. 376 00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:57,974 The men that took your body. 377 00:25:58,099 --> 00:26:01,769 One of them approached me yesterday. He wants me to work for them. 378 00:26:01,853 --> 00:26:02,937 What? 379 00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:12,405 I said no, of course, er... 380 00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,991 But not until I'd found out their location. 381 00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:21,164 Well, this is just numbers. 382 00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:23,666 It's a map reference. Longitude and latitude. 383 00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:27,837 I can find this. You're sure this is where Alex's body is? 384 00:26:27,962 --> 00:26:30,131 Who knows? But it's somewhere to start. 385 00:26:31,507 --> 00:26:33,092 You should check it out. 386 00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:35,678 - What, aren't you coming? - I can't. 387 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:39,140 Uh, god, heaps to do here. Plus... 388 00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:41,559 They're probably still angry at me for turning them down. 389 00:26:41,684 --> 00:26:43,478 - I'll go with you. - Oh, cheers, fella. 390 00:26:43,561 --> 00:26:46,022 I mean, you can't go on your own. You're a lady. 391 00:27:02,205 --> 00:27:03,247 Put that down. 392 00:27:08,419 --> 00:27:09,879 My name is hal. 393 00:27:10,922 --> 00:27:13,424 It's Ian, isn't it? I'm sorry, I looked through your wallet. 394 00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:14,550 Ian? 395 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:17,011 Cram. Like the runner. 396 00:27:17,094 --> 00:27:18,387 What runner? 397 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:19,764 Steve cram. 398 00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:22,099 He was awarded an mba in 1986. 399 00:27:23,059 --> 00:27:24,227 I did not know that. 400 00:27:25,228 --> 00:27:26,270 Where am I? 401 00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:27,396 This is my home. 402 00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:30,942 I brought you here last night. 403 00:27:31,734 --> 00:27:33,110 Oh god, 404 00:27:33,736 --> 00:27:35,029 have you bummed me? 405 00:27:35,905 --> 00:27:38,282 - I haven't bummed you. - You're going to burn me now. 406 00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:41,536 Ian! I have no intention of bumming you. 407 00:27:42,453 --> 00:27:45,331 I brought you here because you were involved in an accident. 408 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:48,376 I feel weird. Have you drugged me? 409 00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:50,753 I'm allergic to aspirin. If you've given me aspirin 410 00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:53,631 - then it's actually murder. - I haven't drugged you. 411 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:59,762 Your body is going through an extraordinary transformation. 412 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:01,764 One I went through many years ago. 413 00:28:03,224 --> 00:28:06,644 You feel nauseous because your blood pressure has dropped. 414 00:28:06,769 --> 00:28:09,230 Your heart rate is about one beat per minute now. 415 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,523 But you won't die, 416 00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:13,442 because your healing process has got spectacularly fast. 417 00:28:15,111 --> 00:28:17,655 - I'm thirsty. - Yes, but you don't want water. 418 00:28:19,156 --> 00:28:23,160 All you've been able to think about since you awoke is one word, 419 00:28:23,286 --> 00:28:24,745 but you don't know why. 420 00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:27,123 If I told you there was some underneath this floor, 421 00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:30,626 you'd dig through the concrete with your fingers. 422 00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:34,463 Accept it, and I can help you. But you have to say it. 423 00:28:36,841 --> 00:28:38,634 I don't know what you mean. 424 00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:42,346 In your wallet there is a photo of a family. Are they yours? 425 00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:45,433 My sister and my niece. 426 00:28:45,516 --> 00:28:47,810 - And you love them? - I carry their photo. 427 00:28:48,811 --> 00:28:51,230 When you think about them now... 428 00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:52,940 What comes into your head? 429 00:28:53,024 --> 00:28:54,442 I want to drink them dry. 430 00:28:56,485 --> 00:28:58,571 It's all right, it's all right. 431 00:28:58,654 --> 00:29:01,032 That will fade, in time. 432 00:29:01,157 --> 00:29:03,784 You'll remember how to love someone, in time. 433 00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:05,494 What have you done to me?! 434 00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:07,747 You're a vampire. 435 00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:10,541 I made you into a vampire and I'm so sorry. 436 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:16,839 A vampire? 437 00:29:22,845 --> 00:29:25,598 There's no handle. You probably need a beepy thing, like on a car. 438 00:29:25,723 --> 00:29:28,017 - I can open it from the other side. - No, no, no, no. 439 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,394 You don't know what's in there. 440 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:33,439 Oh, it's bound to be alarmed, probably on a circuit. 441 00:29:34,023 --> 00:29:35,863 We'll have to go home and get my dad's toolbox. 442 00:29:36,525 --> 00:29:38,778 Whoa, whoa, whoa, get back, get back, get back! 443 00:29:38,861 --> 00:29:41,072 Aw, look at your little face. 444 00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:43,008 You think you're dead funny, you do, don't you? 445 00:29:43,032 --> 00:29:44,509 If you was a vampire, mate, I'd have staked you. 446 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:47,286 - It's a trick. - It's not a trick. 447 00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:50,206 Vampires were born out of a pact with the devil. 448 00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:55,378 He gets our souls and, to remind us, he takes our reflections. 449 00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:56,796 We call it "old Nick's wink." 450 00:29:57,713 --> 00:29:59,799 I don't believe in the devil. 451 00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,968 I'm not sure I did until I met him. 452 00:30:03,928 --> 00:30:05,513 What are you doing? 453 00:30:05,596 --> 00:30:07,699 I need to find somewhere to put you for the next few weeks. 454 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:09,183 The next few weeks? 455 00:30:09,266 --> 00:30:11,519 But I never miss work! They'll be worried sick! 456 00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,538 Most days I'm there to unlock the doors for the cleaners. 457 00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:15,690 You won't be able to manage the hunger. 458 00:30:15,773 --> 00:30:19,235 - I'll take some blood in a thermos. - Listen to me! 459 00:30:20,111 --> 00:30:21,946 You're a different species now. 460 00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:25,074 This isn'tjust a craving, it's cellular. 461 00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,291 Why did you do this to me? 462 00:30:38,129 --> 00:30:39,755 I'll be back soon. 463 00:30:56,439 --> 00:30:59,066 Why don't I have a look and you have a sit down? 464 00:30:59,150 --> 00:31:02,528 Okay, Tom, we're gonna have this conversation. 465 00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:05,614 Can you please stop treating me like I'm made of... 466 00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:07,867 Glass or cobwebs or something? 467 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:09,326 All right, I'm dead. 468 00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:12,079 My health and wellbeing has pretty much bottomed out. 469 00:31:12,163 --> 00:31:14,874 - So what am I supposed to do? - I don't know, just... 470 00:31:14,957 --> 00:31:18,252 Treat me like an equal. Treat me like a bloke. 471 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:19,754 But you're a lady. 472 00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:21,547 And my dad taught me how to treat ladies. 473 00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:23,174 Always be polite and courteous. 474 00:31:23,299 --> 00:31:26,052 If a lady came in the room, you stood up and took off any hats, 475 00:31:26,135 --> 00:31:28,137 and if it was a vampire, you staked 'em. 476 00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:32,349 And I'm sure that growing up in the paramilitary wing of the amish 477 00:31:32,475 --> 00:31:35,978 had many pluses, but I find it patronizing. 478 00:31:38,731 --> 00:31:40,775 Oh, here we go. 479 00:31:40,858 --> 00:31:42,526 I've found me. 480 00:31:48,157 --> 00:31:49,575 It says I've gone. 481 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:55,122 "Carcass..." nice. 482 00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:56,540 "Returned to family." 483 00:32:00,252 --> 00:32:02,338 They've already got me. 484 00:32:10,930 --> 00:32:13,015 The home secretary will see you now. 485 00:32:20,523 --> 00:32:23,859 Erm, there's no easy way to say this, so I'll be blunt. 486 00:32:24,527 --> 00:32:26,362 Your department is to be dissolved, 487 00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:29,156 its responsibilities handed to special branch. 488 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,617 What? But you can't. 489 00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,202 Our work is essential. 490 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:38,290 Your work is clandestine, unregulated and eye-wateringly expensive. 491 00:32:41,085 --> 00:32:43,754 Three months should be enough to, er, 492 00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:46,048 decommission the archive and prepare for succession. 493 00:32:46,257 --> 00:32:49,135 But what about our tenants? They're too dangerous to simply release. 494 00:32:49,218 --> 00:32:50,511 Well, 495 00:32:50,594 --> 00:32:53,764 what does one usually do with diseased and dangerous livestock? 496 00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:55,266 Giles? 497 00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:59,395 Could you ask them to bring my car around? 498 00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:02,940 You and your ilk may have been around since cromwell, 499 00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:05,067 but nothing is sacred these days. 500 00:33:05,151 --> 00:33:08,988 Defense, health, education, everyone's felt the swish of the knife. 501 00:33:09,071 --> 00:33:13,033 See, it's part of a wider initiative called pvu. 502 00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:14,618 Placing value uppermost. 503 00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:16,162 Alistair, please. 504 00:33:16,245 --> 00:33:17,885 Oh, don't worry, we'll find you something. 505 00:33:19,081 --> 00:33:22,585 In fact I'll, er... I'll talk to Tim in agriculture. 506 00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:26,922 This isn't about my career. These are monsters! 507 00:33:27,006 --> 00:33:30,593 You can't just let them run wild, without supervision, without restraint! 508 00:33:30,676 --> 00:33:33,762 - They're time bombs! - Dominic. Please. 509 00:33:34,305 --> 00:33:35,764 Control yourself. 510 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:41,854 I'm begging you. 511 00:33:43,147 --> 00:33:44,690 Don't do this. 512 00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:46,275 It's done. 513 00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:53,949 Then god help us all. 514 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:10,841 I drowned, according to this. 515 00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:16,513 Walking along the canal bank. 516 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:19,141 I slipped and fell. No sign of struggle or trauma. 517 00:34:20,476 --> 00:34:22,269 Just a random... 518 00:34:22,353 --> 00:34:23,646 Stupid accident. 519 00:34:31,820 --> 00:34:33,155 I was buried. 520 00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:39,536 Christ! Three weeks ago. 521 00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:45,334 In a private service attended by family and friends. 522 00:34:47,336 --> 00:34:50,756 Alex's father, Brendan said, "Alex was beautiful in every sense. 523 00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:53,634 "We will never forget her strength, 524 00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:57,221 "kindness and determination. She lit up our lives 525 00:34:57,346 --> 00:34:58,889 "and we will miss her so much." 526 00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:06,855 They've started getting better without me. 527 00:35:10,109 --> 00:35:13,153 I thought that I would take my body back to them 528 00:35:13,237 --> 00:35:15,030 and all this would end! 529 00:35:15,114 --> 00:35:17,199 But it's already happened 530 00:35:18,409 --> 00:35:21,870 and they're talking about me in the past tense and I'm still here! 531 00:35:24,081 --> 00:35:26,041 - You've got us. - I don't want you! 532 00:35:29,962 --> 00:35:31,630 I want to taste food again 533 00:35:32,089 --> 00:35:34,091 and someone's kiss, you know? 534 00:35:36,218 --> 00:35:41,265 I want to have sex and a hangover. I want to take off these fucking boots! 535 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:48,605 At least you've had a life. This is all I've ever known. 536 00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:51,442 But you can still love someone. 537 00:35:54,570 --> 00:35:56,322 You can eat cake. 538 00:35:56,405 --> 00:35:57,906 And after that? 539 00:35:58,741 --> 00:36:00,075 A family? 540 00:36:01,785 --> 00:36:04,038 Most parents are worried about messing their kids up. 541 00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:06,040 I'm worried about eating mine. 542 00:36:06,123 --> 00:36:08,459 Oh, this world sucks. 543 00:36:10,252 --> 00:36:12,296 Even with superpowers. 544 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,966 I'm sorry if the way I speak to you is annoying. 545 00:36:17,009 --> 00:36:19,428 It's just what my dad would expect me to do. 546 00:36:21,138 --> 00:36:23,432 And that keeps him alive in my mind. 547 00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:26,352 Makes me feel safe. 548 00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:34,610 You're an excellent person, Thomas. 549 00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:38,697 I just need to remember that. 550 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,658 No opening doors though, eh? 551 00:36:42,785 --> 00:36:45,454 Well, I mean, if I'm carrying something then... 552 00:37:11,021 --> 00:37:13,232 - Tom: Who are you? - Don't hurt me! 553 00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:16,151 - What's he doing down here? - The other one put me here. 554 00:37:16,693 --> 00:37:19,029 - Tom, he can see me. - He's a vampire. 555 00:37:19,655 --> 00:37:20,989 Oh, not you as well. 556 00:37:21,073 --> 00:37:23,742 That's what the other one... hal? That's what he said. 557 00:37:23,826 --> 00:37:25,369 Hal put you down here? 558 00:37:25,494 --> 00:37:28,372 He attacked me last night. I woke up here. 559 00:37:28,497 --> 00:37:31,337 He said he'd turned me into a vampire, and then tied me to the radiator. 560 00:37:33,335 --> 00:37:35,087 Please just let me go. 561 00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:37,005 I won't tell anyone. 562 00:37:37,089 --> 00:37:39,299 He says I have to stay here for weeks. 563 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:40,843 Tom: We made a deal. 564 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:43,137 He swore on Eve's bib. 565 00:37:43,220 --> 00:37:44,513 He said it was over. 566 00:37:46,723 --> 00:37:49,518 - Alex: What do we do? - Like I said, we made a deal. 567 00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:51,520 You're not like him, are you? 568 00:37:53,897 --> 00:37:55,774 I can't put my finger on it. 569 00:37:56,567 --> 00:37:58,861 - What are you? - A werewolf. 570 00:38:00,070 --> 00:38:01,572 Ha. Fancy. 571 00:38:03,866 --> 00:38:05,909 Tom, wait. What do we do with him? 572 00:38:07,035 --> 00:38:08,745 Crumb: Please let me go. 573 00:38:08,871 --> 00:38:10,789 I don't understand what you want from me. 574 00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:12,958 We don't want anything from you. 575 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:16,837 It's just that, the thing you are now... 576 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,716 - You might hurt someone. - I've never hurt anyone in my life! 577 00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:23,635 I have pets! I keep newts! 578 00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,053 Oh, god, my newts! 579 00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:28,390 - Hal says it twists your mind. - "Hal says! Hal says!" 580 00:38:28,474 --> 00:38:30,517 - Are you scared of him? - No, of course not. 581 00:38:30,601 --> 00:38:34,396 Well, I am. How long's he normally keep people down here? 582 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:37,232 I don't know. 583 00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:39,818 - This is new. - What? 584 00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:42,029 Oh, but I'm... I'm sure he won't hurt you. 585 00:38:42,112 --> 00:38:43,655 How sure? 586 00:38:44,573 --> 00:38:45,991 Sixty percent? 587 00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:48,994 Sixty-five. 588 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:52,915 - Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, god! - But he doesn't just hurt people. 589 00:38:52,998 --> 00:38:56,001 But you said he doesn't normally just lock them in cellars! 590 00:38:58,837 --> 00:39:02,216 - Um, sixty percent. - Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, god! 591 00:39:02,299 --> 00:39:04,343 It's just, if... If something was to happen... 592 00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:07,638 You have no right to put me in this danger! 593 00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:09,431 I have friends! 594 00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:11,016 And a family. 595 00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,601 And a job. 596 00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:16,939 You can't just steal that from me. 597 00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:29,451 It's okay! I'm here! 598 00:39:39,670 --> 00:39:41,630 Crumb: Gav? 599 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,007 What's going on, mate? 600 00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:45,968 Martin: Crumb! Where the hell have you been? 601 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,556 It's cram, actually, like the... 602 00:39:50,639 --> 00:39:52,349 The state of you! 603 00:39:53,141 --> 00:39:55,310 You can't turn up looking like that! 604 00:39:56,144 --> 00:39:58,021 Christ, is that blood? 605 00:39:58,814 --> 00:40:01,358 Oh, yeah. Erm... 606 00:40:01,483 --> 00:40:02,859 I got hit by a car. 607 00:40:03,819 --> 00:40:05,112 Huh! 608 00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:07,489 Well, thank god we've got Gavin, is all I can say. 609 00:40:07,573 --> 00:40:09,366 He's a whirlwind, that boy. 610 00:40:09,491 --> 00:40:10,993 Formula 1. 611 00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:13,245 Oh, no, no. I'm gonna have to let you go. 612 00:40:13,996 --> 00:40:15,807 Turning up late is one thing, but covered in blood? 613 00:40:15,831 --> 00:40:18,375 Well, that's a different kettle of ball games. 614 00:40:19,543 --> 00:40:20,586 Okay. 615 00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:23,880 But I warn you... 616 00:40:24,006 --> 00:40:25,382 If Igo... 617 00:40:25,507 --> 00:40:27,134 Everyone goes. 618 00:40:27,217 --> 00:40:29,595 We're not just workmates, we're family. 619 00:40:30,429 --> 00:40:32,180 Isn't that right, guys? 620 00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:29,196 Tom. 621 00:41:29,279 --> 00:41:30,322 Oh, god. 622 00:41:35,243 --> 00:41:37,913 First, blood of the vampire. 623 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:45,295 Next, blood of the wolf. 624 00:41:53,804 --> 00:41:56,640 Remind me, what will this do? 625 00:41:56,765 --> 00:41:59,351 I shall summon the devil 626 00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:04,815 by telling him that the vampire and werewolf armies are battling here. 627 00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:10,362 He'll come to warm his hands on the fire of your conflict. 628 00:42:11,196 --> 00:42:14,199 - You're going to bring the devil here? - Not frightened, are you, lord hal? 629 00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:16,284 Hardly. I've met your mother. 630 00:42:16,368 --> 00:42:19,079 When are you due one of your periods of being nice? 631 00:42:19,162 --> 00:42:21,623 Not for ages, thankfully. They're dreadfully dull. 632 00:42:22,165 --> 00:42:23,959 You haven't tried it with me. 633 00:42:29,339 --> 00:42:30,382 Sorry. 634 00:42:31,675 --> 00:42:32,718 You were saying? 635 00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:41,977 Tell me why I shouldn't kill you. 636 00:42:42,144 --> 00:42:44,187 - It's not what you think. - So tell us. 637 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:46,565 He saw me... manifest. 638 00:42:46,648 --> 00:42:48,608 He ran away, was hit by a car. 639 00:42:48,692 --> 00:42:51,278 He was dying. I recruited him to save his life. 640 00:42:51,361 --> 00:42:52,779 But you didn't inhale? 641 00:42:52,863 --> 00:42:55,741 - I swore on Eve's... - Don't say her name! 642 00:42:55,824 --> 00:42:59,578 - You don't get to say her name again. - Do I look like I've fed recently? 643 00:43:00,662 --> 00:43:03,832 Why did you turn him into a vampire? Why not just... 644 00:43:03,999 --> 00:43:05,917 Why not just let him slip away? 645 00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:08,170 Because I couldn't stand by... 646 00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:10,756 And watch another death. 647 00:43:12,007 --> 00:43:14,176 I couldn't let what happened to you happen again. 648 00:43:15,594 --> 00:43:18,722 - You should have told us. - Look, we can discuss this later. 649 00:43:18,847 --> 00:43:20,724 First we have to decide what to do with him. 650 00:43:20,849 --> 00:43:24,728 It might seem strange and inhumane, but the best thing is to keep him here. 651 00:43:24,853 --> 00:43:27,022 - Agreed. - Oh. 652 00:43:27,856 --> 00:43:29,399 - What? - Nothing. 653 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:32,152 Please say you haven't let him go. 654 00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:34,070 I think short hair really suits you. 655 00:43:34,196 --> 00:43:35,655 But he's a predator! 656 00:43:35,739 --> 00:43:38,366 He's only been a vampire for about 17 hours! 657 00:43:38,450 --> 00:43:41,286 - How was I supposed to know? - I should have left a clue, like... 658 00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:45,040 I don't know, locking him in a cellar and tying him to a fucking radiator! 659 00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:48,293 I hate to say it, but hal's right. Thingy won't be able to control himself. 660 00:43:48,376 --> 00:43:50,462 Well, you should have said something! 661 00:43:50,545 --> 00:43:54,049 I'm new to all this and I'm still very traumatized and all thatjazz. 662 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,509 What? I was upset! 663 00:43:55,592 --> 00:43:56,885 We have to find him. 664 00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:01,097 After that, you do whatever you think is best. 665 00:44:01,223 --> 00:44:02,682 I won't stop you. 666 00:44:03,016 --> 00:44:04,601 But we must find him first. 667 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,896 The devil has no form of his own, 668 00:44:08,021 --> 00:44:10,899 so will possess the nearest human vessel. 669 00:44:12,234 --> 00:44:14,694 This is a local madman. 670 00:44:14,778 --> 00:44:16,738 He shall be the conduit for the devil. 671 00:44:17,072 --> 00:44:19,741 But when he realizes it's a trap, won't his spiritjust flee again? 672 00:44:19,866 --> 00:44:21,618 We perform the blood ritual, 673 00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:23,954 which will trap him in the maniac's body. 674 00:44:24,079 --> 00:44:27,582 Ah! Then we kill him. Yes, I remember that bit. 675 00:44:27,749 --> 00:44:32,254 Wonderful. Can I now get back to summoning the antichrist please? 676 00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:42,430 Look. 677 00:44:45,934 --> 00:44:47,310 He's here. 678 00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:49,104 Look! 679 00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:52,107 He's here. 680 00:45:33,815 --> 00:45:35,233 Tell you what, 681 00:45:35,317 --> 00:45:37,819 being a vampire don't half give you an appetite. 682 00:45:38,028 --> 00:45:39,654 It won't last. 683 00:45:40,488 --> 00:45:42,866 The hunger will fade. You'll come out of this. 684 00:45:42,991 --> 00:45:45,493 And when you remember what you did, 685 00:45:45,619 --> 00:45:47,495 it will devastate you. 686 00:45:47,829 --> 00:45:51,499 Maybe I'll stay in here forever. I like it here. 687 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,878 You should see the stuff that's going on. 688 00:45:56,546 --> 00:45:59,716 I'm gonna leave such a boot-print on the world. 689 00:46:03,011 --> 00:46:05,180 Then I'll have to kill you. 690 00:46:06,556 --> 00:46:09,059 And you'll be back to square one. 691 00:46:09,851 --> 00:46:12,729 All the nasty stuff has to go somewhere, hal. 692 00:46:45,887 --> 00:46:47,764 We have to do it now! 693 00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:55,855 Emil! Quickly! Before he flees the maniac's body! 694 00:47:00,402 --> 00:47:03,238 When I was a kid, there was this boy. 695 00:47:05,281 --> 00:47:06,700 He hit me. 696 00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:09,119 He hit everyone, but I got it the worst. 697 00:47:09,244 --> 00:47:11,746 God knows why, I was hardly a threat. 698 00:47:12,247 --> 00:47:14,416 I wasn't popular or funny. 699 00:47:14,916 --> 00:47:17,937 In pe, when they were picking teams, even Barney Thomas got picked before me, 700 00:47:17,961 --> 00:47:19,254 and he wore a built-up shoe. 701 00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:22,132 But that was the problem. 702 00:47:22,257 --> 00:47:23,925 I disgusted him. 703 00:47:24,259 --> 00:47:27,721 Because he was just a hair's breadth from being me. 704 00:47:28,096 --> 00:47:30,890 I was everything he was frightened of. 705 00:47:31,725 --> 00:47:35,186 If there's one thing I know about, it's bullies. 706 00:47:36,396 --> 00:47:40,275 You took everything you hated 707 00:47:40,358 --> 00:47:42,277 and put it in one place. 708 00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,780 You need someone like me, 709 00:47:46,114 --> 00:47:49,784 to be the bad man so you don't have to. 710 00:47:53,621 --> 00:47:55,373 So let's end this once and for all. 711 00:47:55,457 --> 00:47:56,624 What? 712 00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:59,127 The Trinity of the bloods 713 00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,630 shall imprison you in that body. 714 00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:15,977 Catherine? 715 00:48:18,980 --> 00:48:21,125 For god's sake, woman! You didn't use your own blood, did you? 716 00:48:21,149 --> 00:48:26,321 How could I ask one of my men to do something I would not?! 717 00:48:27,155 --> 00:48:28,740 Damn you, hal! 718 00:48:28,823 --> 00:48:30,992 Now it's not a true Trinity! 719 00:48:31,409 --> 00:48:34,079 It won't destroy him, it will merely weaken him! 720 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,295 Five hundred years of murder and torment, 721 00:48:42,670 --> 00:48:44,339 round and round we go. 722 00:48:44,464 --> 00:48:47,258 - Hal, wait. What you doing? - Evil doesn't die. 723 00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:52,347 It just passes, like a parcel, from year to year, body to body. 724 00:48:52,472 --> 00:48:55,600 Emil, do something! She can't take much more! 725 00:49:12,826 --> 00:49:18,540 Hal, don't let the devil escape! 726 00:49:20,375 --> 00:49:23,211 But I survive, I live on, 727 00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:27,048 while good people die around me, heroes die! 728 00:49:34,848 --> 00:49:39,185 Grab your coat, Ian, we're leaving. Because I've seen how this ends. 729 00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:51,197 Stand down. It's all right. 730 00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:54,600 - What are you doing? - Oh, something we're bound to regret. 731 00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:59,414 Don't you see? I'm his future and he's mine. 732 00:50:00,165 --> 00:50:03,501 So you need something to stay good for. We're giving it to you. 733 00:50:03,585 --> 00:50:05,545 From now on, everything you do, we're responsible. 734 00:50:05,587 --> 00:50:07,064 So if you can't think of any other reason... 735 00:50:07,088 --> 00:50:08,728 Then, for fuck's sake, stay good for that. 736 00:50:08,756 --> 00:50:10,592 But why? Why are you doing this? 737 00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:13,011 We're all equally responsible for this. 738 00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:18,766 And you're the only one who knows how to work the immersion heater. 739 00:50:22,437 --> 00:50:25,398 - Now, what do we do about him? - We'll take care of that. 740 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:28,526 I want you in police uniforms. We're using scenario 4. 741 00:50:28,693 --> 00:50:31,779 Evacuate the neighboring offices, then seal the main entrance. 742 00:50:31,905 --> 00:50:33,573 This is a lockdown. 743 00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:39,454 Hatch: Another dirty race is the Mexicans. 744 00:50:39,621 --> 00:50:42,624 Are there any in the kitchen? They spit in the food, you know. 745 00:50:43,791 --> 00:50:45,460 It's like clarkson says. 746 00:50:46,461 --> 00:50:47,962 Where's the bloody milk? 747 00:50:48,213 --> 00:50:50,965 - Oh! Look what you've done! - I'm so sorry! 748 00:50:51,049 --> 00:50:54,093 - I'll be right back, I'm so sorry. - You stupid bitch! 749 00:50:54,177 --> 00:50:57,263 Stupid whore! Stupid shit of a girl! 750 00:51:05,939 --> 00:51:07,899 You stole my death. 751 00:51:11,069 --> 00:51:13,321 You're in my sights now, pal. 752 00:51:14,739 --> 00:51:15,949 One day... 753 00:51:17,075 --> 00:51:19,202 I'm gonna watch you die. 754 00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:36,219 Come on, guys, let's go home. 755 00:51:43,643 --> 00:51:45,478 Crumb: Ha” ha” 756 00:51:46,646 --> 00:51:49,482 round and round in circles, like you said. 757 00:51:50,316 --> 00:51:52,318 This is where you'll end up. 758 00:51:52,402 --> 00:51:54,529 On a pile of bodies with a hard-on. 759 00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:56,990 As sure as eggs is eggs. 760 00:52:01,494 --> 00:52:03,854 I'm so sorry, captain, if you just take your cardigan off... 761 00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:06,082 Oh, these things happen. 762 00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:09,168 And just to show there's no hard feelings, 763 00:52:09,252 --> 00:52:12,213 I'd like to share a little secret with you. 764 00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:16,592 Come closer, I'll whisper it. 765 00:52:18,261 --> 00:52:21,222 I'll whisper it. It'll tickle you. 766 00:52:59,302 --> 00:53:00,511 Hello, Martin. 767 00:53:01,429 --> 00:53:04,390 I'm sure you'd like an explanation for what happened here. 768 00:53:05,725 --> 00:53:08,936 Preliminary tests indicate that your colleague, Ian, 769 00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:12,482 had taken a cocktail of hallucinogenic drugs. 770 00:53:12,982 --> 00:53:15,943 Drugs, eh? Then I must have had some and all. 771 00:53:16,027 --> 00:53:18,863 He had bloody fangs, mate, and eyes as black as your cat. 772 00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:22,909 - One of the side-effects of the drugs... - Oh, I'm taking this to the papers. 773 00:53:22,992 --> 00:53:26,579 In which case we would be compelled to issue a gagging order. 774 00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:29,082 That bastard killed my nephew. 775 00:53:29,374 --> 00:53:31,250 Smashing lad, he was. 776 00:53:31,584 --> 00:53:35,129 Brains like a brick shithouse. Oh, no, no, no. 777 00:53:35,671 --> 00:53:39,717 I am gonna be a Thorn in your shoe. A spanner in your side. 778 00:53:39,801 --> 00:53:41,886 I'm taking this right to the top. 779 00:53:56,317 --> 00:53:58,027 I liked that pen. 780 00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:04,325 Well... Mr. Cram... 781 00:54:05,576 --> 00:54:08,121 Someone certainly hit the ground running. 782 00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:09,580 It's crumb. 783 00:54:09,956 --> 00:54:11,165 I'm sorry? 784 00:54:11,249 --> 00:54:15,044 That's what they used to call me. I like it now. 785 00:54:16,254 --> 00:54:18,589 The crumb that choked the world. 786 00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:21,968 It's rather clever, isn't it? 787 00:54:23,970 --> 00:54:27,306 They ignored me and patronized me. 788 00:54:28,141 --> 00:54:31,727 Now they'll dream about me for the rest of their lives. 789 00:54:32,270 --> 00:54:34,814 I'm the world's worst nightmare. 790 00:54:36,065 --> 00:54:39,569 The victim who gets super powers. 791 00:54:39,652 --> 00:54:41,028 Ahh! 792 00:54:41,112 --> 00:54:44,031 Mr. Cr... crumb. 793 00:54:45,950 --> 00:54:48,327 You'vejust given me an idea. 794 00:54:48,828 --> 00:54:52,498 God forbid you have a shirt with a button on it like regular people. 795 00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:57,044 Tell your family what happened. 796 00:54:58,087 --> 00:55:00,298 And let them tell the world we are a shameful secret, 797 00:55:00,381 --> 00:55:02,276 perhaps one that shouldn't be protected any longer. 798 00:55:02,300 --> 00:55:04,218 I don't know. 799 00:55:04,302 --> 00:55:08,723 Seeing that guy in the office, and how scared all those people were, 800 00:55:09,056 --> 00:55:12,056 I'm not sure I want to tell the world that there are monsters under the bed. 801 00:55:12,810 --> 00:55:14,979 And what about your unfinished business? 802 00:55:15,062 --> 00:55:17,106 Must be something else. 803 00:55:17,273 --> 00:55:20,485 I just hope it's not blowing up any babies. 804 00:55:21,569 --> 00:55:23,654 - Too soon? - A little. 805 00:55:23,863 --> 00:55:28,701 Okay. I guess what I'm trying to say is... 806 00:55:30,453 --> 00:55:33,414 That, like it or not, this is my world now. 807 00:55:34,123 --> 00:55:35,416 Welcome. 808 00:55:36,542 --> 00:55:38,127 - Welcome? - I panicked. 809 00:55:38,711 --> 00:55:40,546 What Tom is trying to say is, 810 00:55:40,630 --> 00:55:43,299 it's a world in which we've spent the majority of our lives. 811 00:55:43,382 --> 00:55:47,094 As you explore it, we'll be by your side. 812 00:55:51,057 --> 00:55:55,019 Right. You're good to go. 813 00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:39,981 Find me that bastard devil. 814 00:57:56,474 --> 00:57:59,644 Everything all right, captain? Where's Sophie? 815 00:57:59,769 --> 00:58:04,732 I'm not sure. I think she had some news and decided to slip away. 816 00:58:07,276 --> 00:58:09,904 What on earth? Sorry, captain. 817 00:58:10,821 --> 00:58:13,491 Oh, you carry on, my love, I'm fine. 818 00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:17,119 In fact, I haven't felt this good for years. 819 00:58:34,595 --> 00:58:36,347 I think the house is haunted! 820 00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:38,808 Do you want to play with me? 821 00:58:39,016 --> 00:58:41,477 Your hour approaches, Mr. Crumb. 822 00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:45,690 I'm sorry about him, he's new. And an idiot. 823 00:58:45,773 --> 00:58:47,274 Yeah, you're the boss, Tom! 824 00:58:47,358 --> 00:58:48,651 What? 825 00:58:49,151 --> 00:58:50,319 I'm sorry, Alex. 826 00:58:53,614 --> 00:58:55,533 Shh!