1 00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,211 You're about to learn the tragic fate 2 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,921 of the Oak Point High lacrosse team. 3 00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:08,340 But this podcast won't cash in on their specific 4 00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,843 and particularly gruesome group decapitation. 5 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,720 Too bad. Someone else will. 6 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,804 It's a big market, man. 7 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,097 Morty, don't just respond. 8 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,682 Find a podcast without scruples. 9 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,350 CryoShip detected. 10 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:20,144 Ooh, power's still online? 11 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,271 Whattaya think, Morty? Bunch of sleeping beauties? 12 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,772 Wanna go tap on some glass? 13 00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,107 Uh, that could be fun. 14 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,608 W-We haven't done one of those in a while. 15 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:28,444 Welcome to "Bloodbath"! 16 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,070 The podcast that's only grisly details! 17 00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:32,406 Now we're talking! 18 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,873 Holy shit. Look at this place. 19 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,459 Damn, Morty, ain't just your run-of-the-mill ark ship. 20 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,127 This thing is gold-plated. 21 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,962 Wow, w-where do you think they're going? 22 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:49,923 Ha ha. Looks like these guys flung themselves into space 23 00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:51,300 after wrecking their home world. 24 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:53,135 This'll be like taking candy from a baby, 25 00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,470 if that baby was in a coma. 26 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,513 Oh. We're... We're robbing them? 27 00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:59,308 Morty what did I just say about scruples? 28 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,810 Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty? 29 00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:03,395 T-T-This thing is fancy. 30 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,898 Computer said it's got super-rare hypercoal inside. 31 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,692 Ha ha ha! The planet they left must be a husk, Morty. 32 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,319 Access denied. 33 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,528 Huh. 34 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,489 Alright, on second thought, 35 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,157 let's just blow a hole in the ship and drag the vault home. 36 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,658 What?! Help me with these charges. 37 00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:18,368 This'll be quick. They got fast countdowns. 38 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,329 Rick, I-I'm fine with taking candy from a baby, 39 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,831 but I-I draw the line at blowing up the stroller! 40 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,416 What the hell, Morty?! 41 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,834 We're not literally robbing babies. 42 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,252 Aah! 43 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:28,504 God damn it, Morty! Look what you did! 44 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,631 They're counting down even faster. 45 00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:33,509 Fire detected. 46 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,469 Emergency Cryo-wake commencing in 30 seconds. 47 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,221 You little shit! You woke 'em up! 48 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,764 Good! Let's get outta here! Fuck you. 49 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,850 I'm not leaving without that hypercoal! 50 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,019 Now go find that other pod with a dead guy in it. 51 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,104 Hey! Sub-Bay 18. 52 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,480 What dead guy?! 53 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,107 Just get in the pod with the bones! 54 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,025 Or don't, and get thrown out an airlock. 55 00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,693 Cryo-wake in 10 seconds. You did this to yourself, Morty. 56 00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:53,862 Everything that happens after this is your fault. 57 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,656 You're gonna wish you were one of those Oak Point kids 58 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,032 after I get through with you. I'm going, I'm going! 59 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,408 Don't you run away from me! 60 00:01:58,409 --> 00:01:59,576 I've got more to yell at you, Morty! 61 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:00,702 Morty! 62 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,778 Cryo-wake in three, two... Shit, shit, shit. 63 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:38,198 Whoa! Uh! Uh! Aah! Oh! Ah! 64 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,621 Oh, boy. 65 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:46,957 Talk about cryo-crick in the neck. 66 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,001 Hope my schwanz still works. 67 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,254 What's a schwanz? 68 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,714 - Jimmy?! - Oh, my God! 69 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:54,923 Jimmy? Is that you?! 70 00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,049 Umm, no? 71 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,259 It's our boy, honey... 72 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,802 He's got the family bald spot. 73 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,387 Doctor! Doctor, please! 74 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,805 Ah, Karen. How can I... 75 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,348 Oh, my God! 76 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,267 The pod. There must have been some kind of... 77 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,393 malfunction. 78 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,145 Son? Are you in there? 79 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,521 What do you remember? 80 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,649 Um, last thing I remember was being... 13. 81 00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,276 11. 11. 82 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,111 It must be the pituitary governor on his pod. 83 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,613 While we were in stasis, 84 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,114 Jimmy kept growing at an accelerated rate. 85 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,449 Will he be okay? 86 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,035 Short answer... no. Long answer... nope. 87 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,620 Doctor! 88 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,663 I went to school for medicine, not manners. 89 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:30,083 Look at him... gray skin, necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes. 90 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:31,376 I give him a week, tops. 91 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,587 Our poor child! 92 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,965 We're gonna use whatever time we have left to make things right. 93 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:38,383 Should I get him some clothes? 94 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,135 His penis is big now. 95 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,849 Ugh. Wish that pod had a snooze button. 96 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,809 Alright, Makeys, let's get to work! 97 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:50,771 Um, aren't... aren't we all, like, super rich? 98 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,858 Only thing "rich" down here is that joke. 99 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:57,361 "Chachaco"... you're on toilet duty. 100 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,322 Ooohhkay, I'm not supposed to be here. 101 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,990 M-M-My grandpa's a scientist. 102 00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,992 I-I just jumped in this pod because... What? 103 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,578 MedBay! Got another compliance chip on the fritz. 104 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,915 Why do I have to mop?! I should be driving the ship! 105 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,586 Ohhhh! Ha ha. J-Jokin' again! 106 00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,005 I-I'm definitely the thing you guys are. 107 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,757 Uh, ready to clean! 108 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,095 Jimmy! There you are! 109 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,388 We've been looking for you. 110 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,931 Are you trying to open the vault? 111 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,517 I thought maybe you were stuck in there. 112 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,185 I'm just a kid and, uh, dumb. 113 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,561 That's alright, sweetie. 114 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,022 Money affords us the ability to be dumb. 115 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:35,649 Son, it's important to us 116 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,568 that you're recognized as a man in the eyes of God... 117 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:41,196 before you die, which feels soon. 118 00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,572 So, tomorrow night, 119 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:45,534 we're holding your Constellatio Celebratio! 120 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,369 Pretty sure God already made me a man. 121 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,996 Like, very rapidly. 122 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,373 But he didn't make you a citizen. 123 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,541 This will. 124 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,626 And once you join our society, 125 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,753 you'll get access to our knowledge, 126 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:58,880 our history... Our hypercoal? 127 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,340 Well, sure. 128 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,384 You'd get a key to the vault like every citizen. 129 00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,553 You see, son, we're very, very rich. 130 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,513 Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's, uh... 131 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:09,391 Let's Constellatio this up. I-I'm in! 132 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,601 Ahh, that's the spirit! Come on, son. 133 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,353 Let's get you a big lollipop 134 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:15,147 and dress you like a little sailor. 135 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,733 Ugh! How much shit is there? 136 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,901 They've only been awake for five hours. 137 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,862 Grub time, Chachaco! 138 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,739 Hurry. We only got eight minutes. 139 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,866 Great. 140 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,909 Man, cryo-sleep, huh? 141 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,078 Guess I forgot how bad the food was. 142 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,247 Yeah, wish I could forget. 143 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:33,415 Tastes like lumpy piss. 144 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,458 Aah! 145 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,751 Which I love! 146 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,627 Love piss. Look at me eat it up. 147 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:40,255 This gruel, it's got energy, lumps, 148 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,840 all the things a Makey needs. 149 00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,593 Um, why do we call ourselves that again? 150 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,137 Wow, cryo really took it outta you, huh? 151 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,680 They gave us that term. 152 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:51,433 'Cause we "make" it all possible. 153 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,185 I-If we're Makeys, 154 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,437 may... may... maybe that makes them "Takeys." 155 00:05:55,438 --> 00:05:56,730 Ha ha. 156 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,273 Did you not just get complio-shocked? 157 00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,608 Oh... yeah. 158 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,110 Y-Y-You learn to take the pain. Heh. 159 00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,278 - Whoa! - Bad-ass! 160 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,781 Chachaco's hard-core. 161 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,699 Mm. 162 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,701 Rick?! W-Where the hell have you been? 163 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,454 Morty! Great news. It's all going as planned. 164 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,456 We didn't have a plan! We do now. 165 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,958 These people, Morty, they're golden retrievers. 166 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,836 No natural predators, totally softened by generational wealth. 167 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,671 Tomorrow they're throwing me some kind 168 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,632 of "becoming a man" thing and just giving me the hypercoal. 169 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,717 Who cares?! Get me outta here! 170 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:27,761 I-I'm literally scooping shit by hand! 171 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,471 Good. You made your bed, lay in it. 172 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,431 Gimme the car keys! No! We're not leaving! 173 00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,641 Yes, we are, you greedy shit! 174 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,518 Damn! Chachaco's giving 175 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,144 that old rich kid a piece of his mind! 176 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,312 Aah! Oh! 177 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,730 Give them to me, you Takey scum! 178 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,440 Hey! Leave our son alone! 179 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,401 Your son sucks! Ugh! 180 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,527 Chachaco, are you crazy?! 181 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,278 Get back here! 182 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:47,114 We'll be speaking to your manager! 183 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,033 No, no. It's fine. Just jealous poor people. 184 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:51,576 Ungrateful monsters! 185 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:53,120 Impatient, too! 186 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:56,164 Holy shit. Are you crazy? 187 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,499 We're all gonna get it now! 188 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,209 What the hell got into you, Chachaco?! 189 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,919 He's an asshole. 190 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,003 Okay, seriously. 191 00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,588 How are you not getting zapped? 192 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:06,174 Ow! Hey! Something's up with his chip. 193 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,342 He don't got one! 194 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,510 - Oh! - No chip?! 195 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,011 Um, I-I took it out. 196 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,638 They said taking the chips out would kill us. 197 00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,598 Chachaco is living proof it won't. 198 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,183 Wait! Wait! Stop! 199 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:19,187 Chachaco killed Tibs! 200 00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,480 Should we tell someone? 201 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,898 Listen, I'm not who you... 202 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:27,446 Chachaco, you're an idiot. 203 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,198 And a goddamn hero! 204 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,575 Um, thanks... 205 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,743 Tell the Makeys to gather. 206 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,204 It's time to show the Takeys who really runs this ship. 207 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,040 And after you finish sipping from the final chalice, 208 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:42,127 the sacred light will shine down upon you. 209 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,380 You've grown so much. We are so proud of you. 210 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:48,049 Jimmy, I used to dread giving this you. 211 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,927 It's the most precious thing in our family 212 00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:53,054 and frankly you were a brat. 213 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:55,432 But there's nothing like a fluke cryopod accident 214 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,934 to show you what really matters. 215 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,562 It's your father's Constellatio suit, 216 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,815 from his father, and his father before him. 217 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,067 Oh, that's not necessary. 218 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,652 I'm... I'm still a brat. 219 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:11,406 I'm just glad we're getting to do this. 220 00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:13,241 We love you, son. 221 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,576 We love you. 222 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,787 Ha ha. Yeah. L-L-Love you guys, too. 223 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,582 You've never said that before. Honey, he loves us! 224 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,251 I'm so glad you said it before you die of old age! 225 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,836 My boy! 226 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:28,632 Oh, Jimmy! 227 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,804 Fresh planet, fresh start. 228 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:36,598 Fresh planet, fresh start. 229 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,391 We have a slogan now? Catchy, huh? 230 00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:40,185 Tibs is looking for ya. Great cover, by the way... 231 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,772 acting like nothin's happening. 232 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,441 General Chachaco! 233 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,776 General? 234 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,444 Fresh planet, fresh start! 235 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,489 You taught us the only way to beat those rich bastards 236 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,449 is to actually beat them. 237 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,660 Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang. 238 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,120 To bang people's heads in. My invention. 239 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,957 Yeeeeah. Maybe we put a pin in the Bang-Bang 240 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,334 and peacefully ask for some change-change? 241 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,836 What am I saying? They put chips in your heads. 242 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,047 Phew. For a second, you sounded like Spoogler. 243 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:10,840 Ha ha. Yeah, w-where is Spoogler? 244 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,551 Oh, my God! 245 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,887 Spoogler's out there waiting to hear both sides of the issue. 246 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,265 Meanwhile, we're gonna take out the Takeys. 247 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,058 Ah, geez, I-I-I don't know. 248 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,143 We... We got that old kid's party tomorrow. 249 00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,938 That's brilliant, General! Attack during the party. 250 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,898 Not... Not quite what I was pitching. 251 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:30,402 Those Takeys are gonna regret the day they messed with you! 252 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,487 We... We got a hand thing now? 253 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,030 For the resistance. 254 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,992 T-This feels too long for a secret handshake. 255 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,326 Aah! 256 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,996 Constellatio! 257 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,789 The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy. 258 00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,165 You've really taken 259 00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:46,209 your grossly shortened life-span in stride. 260 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,920 I couldn't think of two better parents to die before. 261 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,213 Aww, get over here, ya goofball! 262 00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:52,674 Hey, my hair! I just put gel in! 263 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,851 Ah, geez. 264 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,603 Father, we gotta delay the ceremony. 265 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,479 Something bad is going to happen. 266 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,981 I sure hope so. 267 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,734 Great idea to stick pins in the Bang-Bangs. 268 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,737 People of Plociff, 269 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:16,406 tonight young James Jamerson ascends to manhood. 270 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,909 Hell yeah! Gonna be a man! 271 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:21,328 Rick, we really gotta go now. 272 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,330 Aah! Don't ruin this for these people. 273 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:27,792 Party people! Let's hit those chalices! 274 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,044 We love it, son! 275 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,337 Proud of you! 276 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,716 Alright, Father. Gimme the light. I'll take it from here. 277 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,885 How 'bout you take this in your Takey neck?! 278 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,386 Watch out! Whoa! 279 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:39,387 Going off script, padre. 280 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,222 Party's over, Takeys! 281 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,724 Why isn't she complying? 282 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,225 It's not working! 283 00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,061 Fresh planet, fresh start! 284 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:49,981 Aah! 285 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,441 - Yah! - Bang-bang! 286 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,277 Wait! You can't attack them! They're helpless. 287 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,072 They don't even know that food comes from somewhere. 288 00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:01,576 We gotta get to someplace safe. L-Like the vault. 289 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,620 Gimme that! You got it, boss! 290 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:06,748 My bad. 291 00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:07,916 Morty. Change of plans. 292 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,210 Take me to the vault! Now! 293 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:12,879 - Please don't hurt our boy! - Just do what he says. 294 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,339 But if this deranged janitor kidnaps me 295 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,299 and steals everything from this vault, 296 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,885 j-just know you two were great parents. 297 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:21,930 Really unreasonably trusting. Maybe too trusting. 298 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,723 Honey, what are you talking about? 299 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:26,267 Open that safe, or you're worm food! 300 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:31,147 Greetings, Doug Jamerson. 301 00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:33,274 Thank you for being rich. 302 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,240 Jesus, Morty! 303 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,866 Doug and Karen's only crime is naively benefiting 304 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,702 from systemic inequity. 305 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,787 Just grab the loot, you big baby! 306 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,956 Interesting. 307 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,500 Wait, what?! You... You gotta be kidding me! 308 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,127 They robbed us! 309 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,003 The rich kid and the janitor 310 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,089 put aside their differences to fuck us over! 311 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,133 Let's follow their example. 312 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,509 Mob justice! 313 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,178 - Yeah! - Yeah! 314 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,597 - Hold on a second! - We can explain! 315 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:05,890 - Where's our money?! - Where's our money?! 316 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,767 We told you... We don't know. 317 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,145 You manipulated a working class to rise against a ruling class. 318 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,814 I was right, Chachaco... You are funny, 319 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,566 but not in the "ha ha" way. 320 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,609 In the bad way, like "is my dog sitting like that 321 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,570 because he's watching TV with us 322 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,697 or is he 'expressing his anal glands'" funny. 323 00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,615 Oof. Long walk. 324 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,368 Under the Laws of Space, I sentence you to death. 325 00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:27,620 Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this! 326 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,581 I opened the safe and it was empty. 327 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,999 Sorry, Doug. 328 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,584 We checked the vault's log, and the last person 329 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,754 to access it was, in fact, Jimmy Jamerson. 330 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:40,049 That's not possible. Jimmy Jamerson is dead. 331 00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:43,845 I don't understand. 332 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,639 Karen, let me make this as gentle as I can... We're aliens. 333 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,267 Come on, let's go see your dead son's bones. 334 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,936 Bones?! 335 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,898 Oh, shit. Monkey bones. Was Jimmy a monkey? 336 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:57,150 Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped! 337 00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,194 What the hell is going on?! 338 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,320 I'm a zoologist. 339 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:01,613 Not you! 340 00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:05,033 Jimmy? 341 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,118 And apparently, Guffy Chachaco. 342 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,120 They thought I was that guy?! 343 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,622 These two hacked the vault 30 minutes 344 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,749 after you all started hypersleep. 345 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,793 So Jimmy's still alive? 346 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,753 Fuck him! Where the hell is our money?! 347 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,505 They bought a yacht. It's on Blackjack 9. 348 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,048 They weren't very discreet. 349 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,424 Why would they be? 350 00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,468 They thought you'd be asleep for the next 200 years. 351 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,094 Little asshole. 352 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,305 When you woke up, we thought Jimmy'd grown 353 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,807 into a thoughtful, kind man. 354 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,350 We were so happy. This guy? 355 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,143 They were nice, so I was nice back. 356 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,436 Try it sometime, Morty. 357 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,605 Sorry to be the "money" guy, 358 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,607 but our cash is on a casino planet 359 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,068 and we're all just standing here?! 360 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,070 Wait! Wait! 361 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,823 All that money did is tear you apart... from your friends, 362 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,492 your neighbors, even your old home. 363 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,119 But now you can go to a whole new world as equals. 364 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,788 A place where you can live... 365 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,414 Son of a bitch. They're already gone. 366 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:56,626 Damn it. I was about to tie it all together. 367 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,545 Space race, Morty! Let's go! 368 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,506 Gonna pay off med school, baby! 369 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,008 Aah! Time of death is now! 370 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,134 Hey! 371 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,518 T-They're gonna kill each other for that money, Rick! 372 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,853 Why didn't we take your car?! 373 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,563 Constellatio gift from a rich uncle. 374 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,022 Be rude not to take it. 375 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:21,234 Ha ha! I never believed in God! 376 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:23,194 I do believe in God! I do believe in God! 377 00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,869 Chachaco, when I met you, 378 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,453 you were scooping hot steamers out of a pipe. 379 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,414 So I saved you. 380 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,542 Now blow some working-class luck on these dice, amigo. 381 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,670 Wa-ho! Jimmy! 382 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,422 All the money goes to the 11-year-old 383 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,090 and his best friend. - Yeah! 384 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,383 Hey, turn up the TV. 385 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,385 A massive space race is under way, 386 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:50,054 apparently chasing down a large fortune of stolen money. 387 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,307 Glizop is live with the story. Glizop? 388 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,310 Tim, I'm here at the scene, where I'm gonna be rich! 389 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,021 I quit! Aah! Snap! 390 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,231 Wish he didn't do that. Those mics are expensive. 391 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:03,943 In any case, here's a picture of the suspected thieves. 392 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,738 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Shit! Oh, man! Oh, God! 393 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,285 Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents! 394 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,039 Punch it, Chachaco! Load up the hypercoal! 395 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,421 Hey! I gotta pay for those! 396 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,506 And soon I can! 397 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,891 Son of a bitch! 398 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,184 You're a terrible doctor! 399 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,310 Tell that to my money! 400 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,770 I will! 401 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,611 That money can't bring back Lizzy, 402 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,822 but it can buy another monkey that I will also name Lizzy. 403 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,830 Thank you, New Lizzy. 404 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,507 I'm driving the ship! 405 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,467 I'm finally driving the ship! 406 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:13,930 Uhhhhhh! Riiiiiick! 407 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,683 Okay. Think he found a shortcut? 408 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,267 No, he's just nuts. 409 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,734 My favorite part of the job... escalating situations. 410 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,992 Hey! The race hasn't started yet! 411 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,827 Kinda bummed to leave that race behind. 412 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,453 Thought we'd end up winning it by accident. 413 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:39,914 Oh! Chicken coop cluster! 414 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,624 It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops! 415 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,754 Why would you roll the windows down? 416 00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,214 I wanted the full experience. 417 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,097 You have the right to remain poor! 418 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:57,807 You have the right to shut up! 419 00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:00,268 Rick, there's too many of 'em! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! 420 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,022 Oh, man! They're on our ass! 421 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,483 I'll eat dirt for pennies. 422 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:10,361 Why is this old dude wearing my Constellatio suit?! 423 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,071 You don't deserve Karen and Doug! 424 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,240 Eat a dick! 425 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:17,244 Ow! Blue-collar guys always have an arm. 426 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,873 Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded! 427 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,208 We prepared for this, Jimmy. 428 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,377 Kiss the back of my head. 429 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,338 You little brat! 430 00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,549 You can't hit me! I'm a kid! 431 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,551 I can't hit you. You're old. 432 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,891 Back! 433 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,893 I'd hold on to something, Rick. 434 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,394 You wouldn't. 435 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,568 I-I can reach it! Leave it, Guffy! 436 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,695 We'll steal more! 437 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,490 Nooo! 438 00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,578 God damn it! We were right there! 439 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,455 These people will never stop killing each other 440 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:03,664 for this dumb shit. 441 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,083 It's over, Rick. 442 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,586 Chachaco, you funny bastard. 443 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:09,962 All our wealth... 444 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,297 It's gone. 445 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:14,968 Ah, screw it. I've come this far. 446 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,845 What's that lunatic doing?! 447 00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,722 Taking our money! 448 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:37,323 I made it way worse. 449 00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,118 Jimmy! You're in big trouble, mister! 450 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,286 How could you rob your own parents?! 451 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:46,249 I'm sorry! 452 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,126 I thought it'd be funny if you guys woke up 453 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,086 and thought I turned into a monkey. 454 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:52,547 - In 200 years?! - You're a piece of shit! 455 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,673 You are a piece of shit. 456 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:55,216 Stay out of this, fake son! 457 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:58,386 Ohh, Jimmy, you're a fuck up. 458 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,055 But we always threw cash at the problem. 459 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,849 Now that we just have these gold bars, 460 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,851 we'll have to throw ourselves. 461 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:09,189 Dad? I owe money to some baaad people. 462 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,110 I set the navigation to a nearby inhabitable planet. 463 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,654 Also gave everyone a compliance chip. 464 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,990 Y-You can finally get that fresh start. 465 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,450 We'll be fine as long as these poor idiots don't... 466 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,996 Not so fun, is it, you Takey? Aah! 467 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,707 And if you remove those chips, you will die. 468 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,084 Thanks... uh, Rick, right? 469 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:33,004 Yeah. Sorry for pretending to be a deformed version 470 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,922 of your dead son and try to rob you. 471 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,174 That's pretty messed up in hindsight. 472 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,800 It's messed up in any sight. 473 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,678 Rick, in only two days, you were a better son 474 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:41,888 than Jimmy ever was. 475 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,014 I can hear you! 476 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,265 Shut up, Jimmy! Aah! 477 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,975 Yeah, shut your fucking mouth! Aah! 478 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,519 Using all our money to pay off your goddamn loan sharks! 479 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,396 You suck, Jimmy! 480 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,731 Ah, I wish you were never born! We're putting you up for adoption! 481 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:54,150 You're a loser! Aah! 482 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,569 Welp. The treasure is gone. 483 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:59,864 And there were massive casualties on both sides. 484 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,241 Still, I think we did good. 485 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,702 Right? 486 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,746 Rick? Y-You okay? 487 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,497 Guess it's true... 488 00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,875 You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. 489 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,335 But I am family. 490 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,920 And you did choose me. 491 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,546 Yeah, it's a stupid quote. 492 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:19,634 Cryo-ship detected. Class... medical. 493 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:23,221 They typically have some pretty good drugs in those. 494 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,223 Okay. But five minutes, tops. 495 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,391 And y-you can't hog all the drugs this time. 496 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,726 Sold! 497 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,263 5 million to call. 498 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,431 New Lizzy, think about this. 499 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,142 That's all our money. We were gonna start a new life. 500 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:15,064 Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey. 501 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,233 Three of a kind to the lizard man. 502 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,860 And a full house for the monkey! 503 00:21:19,861 --> 00:21:22,780 New Lizzy! Holy fuck, I always knew you could do it. 504 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:24,407 God, I love you! 505 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:29,246 It's days like these that remind me why I got into this. 506 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:32,666 Did you get any of that?