1 00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,376 Hello. 2 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,612 I'm sorry. I had to go, okay? 3 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,614 Because I have to introduce the ten stories. 4 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,149 I told you this before. 5 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,851 We'll talk about this when you get home, all right? 6 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,219 I'm late enough as it is. 7 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,121 Ten commandments, ten stories, all right? 8 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,255 You knew what you were getting into 9 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,256 When you married me. 10 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,392 This is what I do. 11 00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,860 Hello? 12 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,295 Hello? 13 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,330 Unbelievable. 14 00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:46,673 Hi, I'm Jeff Reigert. 15 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:47,907 Okay, good. 16 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,844 So I've got the ten commandments over there, 17 00:01:50,845 --> 00:01:52,545 And I'm gonna give you ten stories. 18 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,181 Each one of them correlates to one of the commandments. 19 00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,550 So let's get right into it. 20 00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,719 Sorry I was late, by the way. 21 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,822 Long story short, my wife-- 22 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,525 You know, I'm not gonna go into this. 23 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,926 All right, long story short, 24 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,661 My wife and I were at Bed Bath and Beyond. 25 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,996 We'd agreed to go in beforehand 26 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:12,032 Because she wanted to buy a hand blender and leave. 27 00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:14,467 I mean, we weren't gonna make a big day shopping, because-- 28 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,136 You know what? I'm not gonna get into this. 29 00:02:16,137 --> 00:02:18,438 This is just gonna get me really upset. 30 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:23,176 And besides, you didn't-- you didn't come here 31 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:25,145 To listen to my shit, all right? 32 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,746 I came here to give you these ten stories, 33 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,515 And we're already running a little bit late, 34 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,317 So why don't we just do it to it, right? 35 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,987 Let's get this party started. 36 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:35,989 Story number one. 37 00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,668 Okay, is it on? 38 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,470 Hey, everybody, it's me, Stephen, 39 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,605 Logging my first-ever solo jump! 40 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,174 are you nervous? 41 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,575 Nah, are you joking, Kelly? 42 00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:58,044 I'm more nervous about us getting married. 43 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,145 Bring it on! 44 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,947 aw, you're nervous! 45 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:01,948 Wow! 46 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,050 Look at how high up we are! 47 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:07,320 It's like that line from the movie titanic. 48 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,190 "I want you to draw me like one of your French girls, 49 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,891 "wearing this, 50 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,993 Wearing only this." 51 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,962 Okay, let's do it to it. 52 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,164 Let's get this party started. 53 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:20,300 Whoo! 54 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,335 Uh, excuse me. 55 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,636 Forgot his chute. 56 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,106 please tell me you're goofing. 57 00:03:26,107 --> 00:03:27,974 No, I don't goof. 58 00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:31,177 Oh, god! Stephen! 59 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:32,545 Stephen! 60 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,215 Stephen, oh, my god! 61 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:36,416 Are you okay? 62 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:38,251 Oh, god! 63 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,819 Are you okay? 64 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,221 No, not really. 65 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,862 his vitals are all okay. 66 00:03:48,863 --> 00:03:52,132 But his body is so deeply embedded into the ground 67 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:54,000 That any movement at all 68 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,302 Would kill him. 69 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,637 Well, what am I supposed to do? 70 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:58,738 I mean, just-- 71 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,940 Just leave my fiance here in the ground? 72 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,409 Yes. 73 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,577 But other than that, I suggest that you both try 74 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:07,013 To go about your normal routine. 75 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,014 Okay? 76 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,817 We good? 77 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,485 Stay out of the sun. 78 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:18,358 Ooh, you know what would be fun for us, hon? 79 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,326 There's a jazz show coming to town tomorrow, 80 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,228 And we could-- 81 00:04:22,229 --> 00:04:23,830 Never mind. 82 00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,565 Sorry, what'd you say? 83 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:26,666 Nothing. 84 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,034 I said, "how's it going, babe?" 85 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,136 Awful, 86 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,438 Fucking awful. 87 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,640 Okay, we're live in 30 seconds, Louis. 88 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,342 How are the wedding plans coming, by the way? 89 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,409 Good. 90 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,111 Yeah, we were gonna get married 91 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,913 At my parents' beach house in--in Bar Harbor-- 92 00:04:39,914 --> 00:04:41,114 Oh, god, I love Bar Harbor. 93 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,283 I know. It's so nice. 94 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,652 But now it looks like it's gonna be happening here. 95 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:46,653 Uh-huh. 96 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,823 Yeah, he'll be, you know, there, 97 00:04:49,824 --> 00:04:51,524 And I'll be-- 98 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:55,729 I promised myself I wouldn't cry. 99 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,697 Shh, shh, shh. No, no, no. It's okay. 100 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,366 It's okay. 101 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,101 God, you smell good. 102 00:05:01,102 --> 00:05:02,369 Is that coffee breath? 103 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,903 Okay, in five, four... 104 00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:04,904 Tell me later. 105 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:05,905 Three, two-- 106 00:05:06,941 --> 00:05:08,174 Thanks, Jim. 107 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:11,244 I'm here in a field outside of Holmesdale, 108 00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:14,280 Where Stephen Montgomery has been stuck here 109 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,016 In the ground for the past two months. 110 00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,183 I'm sure you're aware 111 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:19,552 That you've become quite a sensation, 112 00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,488 A hero of sorts. 113 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,989 You have any words of wisdom 114 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,291 For your growing group of fans? 115 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,627 No, not really. 116 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,229 No, not really. 117 00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:32,399 He's a man of few words but many followers, 118 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,268 Whether it be the kids that line up day and night 119 00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,070 To catch a glimpse of him 120 00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:38,838 Or 12-year-old Dorothy Sheen, 121 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,440 Whose Halloween costume this year 122 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:43,076 Is just a little bit underground. 123 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:44,577 I'm Stephen Montgomery. 124 00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,079 If you move me, I'll die. 125 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,082 Even Governor Hutchins was catching Montgomery fever. 126 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,884 We're gonna do to unemployment 127 00:05:50,885 --> 00:05:53,920 What Stephen Montgomery did to his body. 128 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,789 We're gonna bury it in the ground 129 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,958 And make sure it doesn't move. 130 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,594 I'm gonna give it to you straight, kid, 131 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,329 Because that's my style. 132 00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,964 You're not funny. 133 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,433 Your act is stale. 134 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,501 You will never make it in this town. 135 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,637 Now, get out of my office. 136 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,575 How do people like that get in here? 137 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,876 She said she had an appointment. 138 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,978 It won't happen again. Better not. 139 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:22,782 Sir, Stephen Montgomery on line one. 140 00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:23,783 Stephen, 141 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,151 Fielding Barnes. 142 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,319 I want to make you a TV star. 143 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,320 What do you say? 144 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,563 Don't you knock, Fred? 145 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,264 I would, but if I knock like everybody else, 146 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,432 How would you know it's me? 147 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,434 Where's Stephen? 148 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,169 Right here where he always is. 149 00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,438 hey, Stephen. 150 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,941 I got two tickets to the world series. 151 00:06:47,942 --> 00:06:48,975 You want to go? 152 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,011 No, not really. 153 00:06:52,213 --> 00:06:53,279 Why not? 154 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,115 Because I can't move, Fred. 155 00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:59,619 And if I did, I'd most likely die. 156 00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:04,858 firm in the ground. 157 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,093 turning around. 158 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,628 159 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:12,332 to town, 160 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:15,001 no shaking it. 161 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,336 we're all dying to know, 162 00:07:16,337 --> 00:07:18,605 does your character ever get it on with Carol? 163 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:22,909 Look, I don't want to give too much away here. 164 00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,644 But I will say this: 165 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,813 Probably not, for obvious reasons. 166 00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:30,650 and head in the clouds. 167 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,185 168 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,454 169 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,723 Two years ago, I didn't have a chance in this industry. 170 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,058 When the Montgomery show hit, 171 00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:39,726 Every agent in town called me. 172 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,195 The world just kind of takes you on a ride. 173 00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:43,229 You just sit back. 174 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,664 I mean, I have to. 175 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,199 Can't really move. 176 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,701 177 00:07:47,702 --> 00:07:49,469 firm in the ground. 178 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,204 179 00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,139 I just started to use this instrument right here. 180 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,507 I'm a trailblazer, biatch. 181 00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,409 I don't even want to think what my torso could do. 182 00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,845 I think it's pretty safe to say I'm the Marlon Brando of heads. 183 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,214 America loves my shit, dog. 184 00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:02,515 Stephen Montgomery: 185 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,317 Hero, superstar, 186 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,186 God. 187 00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:07,354 This just in: 188 00:08:07,355 --> 00:08:10,323 Tragedy strikes in Texas as a group of teens 189 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:13,093 Intentionally jumps out of a plane without parachutes. 190 00:08:13,094 --> 00:08:14,728 Obviously a copycat incident, 191 00:08:14,729 --> 00:08:17,430 They were imitating the man they worshipped as a god, 192 00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:18,698 Stephen Montgomery. 193 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,533 Details and reaction at 11:00. 194 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,335 turn that shit off! 195 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,237 Stephen, what is going on here? 196 00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,438 Who are all these people? 197 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:26,873 Kelly, it's not what you think. 198 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,541 How's it going, baby? 199 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,609 Kelly, wait a second. 200 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:30,710 Kelly, wait! 201 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:31,711 Wait! 202 00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,079 Ah! 203 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,180 I can't move! 204 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,616 Damn it, I can't move! 205 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,952 Oh! 206 00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:39,919 Ahh! 207 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,762 I think I'm allergic to shrimp. 208 00:08:48,763 --> 00:08:50,330 Louis! 209 00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:51,331 Louis. 210 00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:52,332 Kelly? 211 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,334 I have no one to turn to. 212 00:08:54,335 --> 00:08:56,002 Shh. 213 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,003 Look, it's okay. 214 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,672 Listen to me. 215 00:08:58,673 --> 00:09:00,273 I'm gonna take care of you now. 216 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,641 Really? 217 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,176 Sure. 218 00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:04,844 Come on. 219 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:09,949 into the heavens. 220 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:14,320 beyond the sky. 221 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,822 okay, going up in five... 222 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:16,823 Look out. 223 00:09:16,824 --> 00:09:18,158 Four, three... 224 00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:22,095 What does a monkey at the zoo 225 00:09:22,096 --> 00:09:23,963 Have in common with a fig newton? 226 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,231 Nothing, right? 227 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,633 Think again. 228 00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,002 They're both sometimes brown. 229 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,338 Stephen, I have bad news. 230 00:09:31,339 --> 00:09:33,306 The show's cancelled. 231 00:09:33,307 --> 00:09:34,941 The ratings have been slipping, 232 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,643 And your offscreen antics in the tabloids 233 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:37,677 Haven't been helping. 234 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,379 I thought she was 18. 235 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,281 Doesn't matter, Stephen. She was your niece. 236 00:09:41,282 --> 00:09:42,549 I thought she was once removed. 237 00:09:42,550 --> 00:09:44,150 Doesn't matter, Stephen. 238 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,518 You had sex with her. 239 00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:47,787 I thought I was fingering her. 240 00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,356 It feels the same to her. 241 00:09:49,357 --> 00:09:50,523 Don't you get it, Stephen? 242 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:51,791 Well, then, shit, fielding. 243 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,793 Get me another jo--what have you got lined up for me? 244 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:55,962 I've got nothing, Stephen. 245 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,964 Let's face it. 246 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,332 The majority of jobs are for actors 247 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:00,867 Who can get off the floor without dying. 248 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:03,536 I--Stephen, I don't make the rules. 249 00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,605 That's the climate of the marketplace these days. 250 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,140 I--I--I got to get this. 251 00:10:07,141 --> 00:10:08,241 I got--hello! 252 00:10:08,242 --> 00:10:09,442 Johnny Frankel, 253 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,378 My favorite client, who's stuck in an elevator. 254 00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:12,479 What's up, man? 255 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,080 But listen, you got to decide quickly, 256 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,648 Because at the end of the day, 257 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,250 Let's not jerk each other off here. 258 00:10:17,251 --> 00:10:19,386 You're not going to be stuck on that elevator forever. 259 00:10:19,387 --> 00:10:21,321 You know that. 260 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,399 What happened to Stephen Montgomery? 261 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:33,667 For the past three years, 262 00:10:33,668 --> 00:10:36,069 Stephen has stayed out of the limelight, 263 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,171 Choosing a quiet life 264 00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:41,474 Stuck in the ground-- always. 265 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,443 I used to like him, 266 00:10:43,444 --> 00:10:45,078 And now I hate him. 267 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,413 Wow. 268 00:10:46,414 --> 00:10:47,981 Thank you so much, Louis. 269 00:10:47,982 --> 00:10:49,783 And that's all the news for tonight. 270 00:10:49,784 --> 00:10:50,950 I'm Bream Benson. 271 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,585 And I'm Jim Stansel. Good night. 272 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,760 See how that works? 273 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,962 That was the first one, and now we have nine more, 274 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,364 The total being ten. 275 00:11:04,365 --> 00:11:05,899 And you know what ten is. 276 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:06,933 Ten is. 277 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:07,934 Tennis? 278 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,569 Tennis, anyone? 279 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:11,071 It's like I can't even reserve a court 280 00:11:11,072 --> 00:11:12,939 Unless it's a holiday weekend. 281 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,175 Anyway, let's do the second story, shall we? 282 00:11:15,176 --> 00:11:17,544 No, no, don't help me or anything. 283 00:11:17,545 --> 00:11:19,279 Oh, I--I didn't know you were here. 284 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:20,480 Of course you didn't. 285 00:11:20,481 --> 00:11:22,248 God forbid you notice anybody but yourself. 286 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:23,249 Gretchen-- 287 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,584 Jeff, don't test me today, okay? 288 00:11:24,585 --> 00:11:25,618 You will lose. 289 00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,222 Did you see that? 290 00:11:29,223 --> 00:11:30,223 Am I crazy? 291 00:11:30,224 --> 00:11:31,524 I didn't know she was here. 292 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,460 God, she's getting to the point where, literally, 293 00:11:33,461 --> 00:11:35,462 There isn't a thing that I can do that's-- 294 00:11:35,463 --> 00:11:37,530 We used to talk about how we'd never fight like that. 295 00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:38,932 We used to laugh at those people. 296 00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:41,468 I would break a blood vessel, I would laugh so hard. 297 00:11:41,469 --> 00:11:44,104 You know how they say laughter's the best medicine? 298 00:11:44,105 --> 00:11:45,305 No, I would need medicine 299 00:11:45,306 --> 00:11:46,906 To put on my broken blood vessel. 300 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,842 That's how hard I was laughing. 301 00:11:48,843 --> 00:11:50,276 It was a topical ointment. 302 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,711 I don't remember what it was called. 303 00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:52,846 It's been so many years 304 00:11:52,847 --> 00:11:54,714 Since I laughed so hard and broke a blood vessel 305 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:56,616 That I would even need the ointment. 306 00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:57,784 I'm sorry. 307 00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,319 I don't mean to burden you with this-- 308 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,388 Oxydine Three. 309 00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:03,256 Oxydine Three, that's what-- that was what-- 310 00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:04,958 The name of the ointment. 311 00:12:04,959 --> 00:12:07,127 Anyway, let's get back to our ten stories. 312 00:12:07,128 --> 00:12:08,695 Here we go with number two, 313 00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:11,498 The duck, the deuce, 314 00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:12,999 Number two. 315 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,768 Poop. 316 00:12:38,726 --> 00:12:40,593 Hola. 317 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,228 Como esta? 318 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:46,199 Estoy bien. 319 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,567 Hola. 320 00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:49,302 Como esta? 321 00:12:49,303 --> 00:12:51,705 Estoy bien. 322 00:12:51,706 --> 00:12:53,640 Estoy bien. 323 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:03,650 Te quiero, mi amor. 324 00:13:03,651 --> 00:13:04,651 Brushing up on your spanish? 325 00:13:04,652 --> 00:13:06,619 Yes. Wait a minute. 326 00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:07,620 Si. 327 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,589 Ooh, that was very good. 328 00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:10,724 Sounds just like my nanny. 329 00:13:10,725 --> 00:13:12,058 Gracias. 330 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,194 Mm-mm, that wasn't as good. 331 00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:15,628 You had me at "si," 332 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,530 But then you lost me at "gracias." 333 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:18,765 Anyway, I want you to meet Tony. 334 00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:20,100 He's gonna be filling in for you 335 00:13:20,101 --> 00:13:22,369 While you're in Mejico all summer. 336 00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:23,370 Very good, Oliver. 337 00:13:23,371 --> 00:13:24,804 You used the native pronunciation, 338 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,873 Which includes the "x" having an "h" sound. 339 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,041 Mejico. 340 00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:30,176 See how much fun we have together, Gloria? 341 00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,711 When are you gonna get over yourself 342 00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:32,946 And go out with me already? 343 00:13:32,947 --> 00:13:35,015 I wish I felt that way, but I don't. 344 00:13:35,016 --> 00:13:38,551 Well, you can't blame a gal for trying every day 345 00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,020 For five years. 346 00:13:40,021 --> 00:13:41,588 At any rate, I want you to meet Tony, 347 00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:43,189 Your temporary replacement. 348 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,257 Hey, how's it going? 349 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,826 Oh, didn't see you there. 350 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,261 Oh. 351 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,262 Hello. 352 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:50,330 Sorry, is that better? 353 00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:51,531 Much. 354 00:13:51,532 --> 00:13:53,033 Yeah. 355 00:13:53,034 --> 00:13:54,501 Well, the filing system is over here. 356 00:13:54,502 --> 00:13:56,069 I've written down the instructions 357 00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:57,203 For the voice mail here. 358 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,005 And if you need anything, you can call me-- 359 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,340 Gloria, relax. 360 00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:02,108 Take your vacation. 361 00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:03,543 Go wild. Have fun. 362 00:14:03,544 --> 00:14:04,944 Tony can handle things. 363 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,212 Right, Tony? 364 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,580 Yup. 365 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,920 Maybe you're right. 366 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,531 Gracias. 367 00:15:03,004 --> 00:15:04,037 I-- 368 00:15:04,038 --> 00:15:05,038 Yes? 369 00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,474 I want to-- 370 00:15:07,475 --> 00:15:08,641 Yes? 371 00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:11,011 I want to... 372 00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:12,445 Fuck your tits. 373 00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:13,446 Yes? 374 00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:14,881 No, no. 375 00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:17,050 I don't think that's what you're trying to say. 376 00:15:17,051 --> 00:15:18,118 One moment. 377 00:15:18,119 --> 00:15:19,586 One--one moment. 378 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:41,708 guerita, guerita, 379 00:15:41,709 --> 00:15:43,043 Try these. 380 00:15:43,044 --> 00:15:44,144 Very juicy. 381 00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:46,680 Gracias. 382 00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:22,315 Hey, senorita! 383 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:25,352 Tres pesos for the mango! 384 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,826 Gloria. 385 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,767 Gracias, Alfonzo, but... 386 00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:43,703 Yo estoy tired 387 00:16:43,704 --> 00:16:44,904 From el air-o plane-o. 388 00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:45,839 Mm. 389 00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:49,376 Gloria, 390 00:16:49,377 --> 00:16:50,977 This is Jesus. 391 00:17:17,838 --> 00:17:19,305 Nice to meet you. 392 00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:27,647 Delighted. 393 00:18:11,992 --> 00:18:14,494 The Fire. 394 00:18:14,495 --> 00:18:16,429 395 00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:19,532 The Fire 396 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,434 397 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:24,070 The Fire. 398 00:18:24,071 --> 00:18:26,573 399 00:18:26,574 --> 00:18:29,009 The Fire 400 00:18:29,010 --> 00:18:31,411 401 00:18:31,412 --> 00:18:33,813 The Fire. 402 00:18:33,814 --> 00:18:36,349 403 00:18:36,350 --> 00:18:39,019 The Fire. 404 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:42,288 Oh, Jesus. 405 00:19:59,734 --> 00:20:00,667 No, no, no. 406 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,077 Gloria... 407 00:20:30,798 --> 00:20:31,998 Yeah, yes, But... 408 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,333 Okay. 409 00:20:43,544 --> 00:20:45,512 Wow. 410 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,320 Hey, hey! 411 00:22:43,531 --> 00:22:46,066 and this we pray to you, our Lord and Savior, 412 00:22:46,067 --> 00:22:47,901 Jesus Christ. 413 00:22:50,338 --> 00:22:51,504 Oh, Oliver. 414 00:22:51,505 --> 00:22:52,839 Yes, Oliver. 415 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,940 Oh, yeah. 416 00:22:53,941 --> 00:22:55,642 Oh, Jesus. 417 00:22:55,643 --> 00:22:57,610 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 418 00:22:57,611 --> 00:22:59,112 Who the hell is this Jesus guy? 419 00:22:59,113 --> 00:23:00,847 Nobody, Oliver. 420 00:23:00,848 --> 00:23:01,848 Don't overreact. 421 00:23:01,849 --> 00:23:03,616 I'm not overreacting. 422 00:23:03,617 --> 00:23:04,718 I mean, how would you like it 423 00:23:04,719 --> 00:23:06,252 If I yelled out Patricia's name 424 00:23:06,253 --> 00:23:07,687 In the middle of sex? 425 00:23:22,837 --> 00:23:26,039 Nine... 426 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,942 Ten. 427 00:23:28,943 --> 00:23:29,976 Sorry about that. 428 00:23:29,977 --> 00:23:31,578 I'm a bit of a health fiend. 429 00:23:31,579 --> 00:23:33,279 Since when do you exercise? 430 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,381 What are you talking about? 431 00:23:34,382 --> 00:23:35,548 I found this downstairs. 432 00:23:35,549 --> 00:23:37,150 I thought I'd give my pecs a little juice. 433 00:23:37,151 --> 00:23:39,319 Give your pecs a little juice? 434 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:40,687 What? Juicing my pecs. 435 00:23:40,688 --> 00:23:42,188 I don't know. 436 00:23:42,189 --> 00:23:44,324 Something you're not telling me about the pec juice. 437 00:23:44,325 --> 00:23:45,792 W--w--what do you think, Gretchen? 438 00:23:45,793 --> 00:23:47,160 I'm screwing around on you? 439 00:23:47,161 --> 00:23:48,261 Oh, wait, no. Let me guess. 440 00:23:48,262 --> 00:23:49,529 I met some girl at a coffee shop, 441 00:23:49,530 --> 00:23:51,965 And we made jokes about the little cardboard things 442 00:23:51,966 --> 00:23:53,800 You put over a cup so you don't burn your hands, 443 00:23:53,801 --> 00:23:56,136 And then we went out to my car, and I screwed her twice? 444 00:23:56,137 --> 00:23:58,038 I wasn't saying that at all. 445 00:23:58,039 --> 00:23:59,606 Well, then can I-- 446 00:23:59,607 --> 00:24:01,341 Oh, please, do your thing. 447 00:24:03,477 --> 00:24:05,245 Jeez, you hear that, guys? 448 00:24:05,246 --> 00:24:06,346 Questioning my pec juice. 449 00:24:06,347 --> 00:24:08,281 My pec juice. 450 00:24:08,282 --> 00:24:09,749 Sorry, I didn't mean to get off track. 451 00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:10,917 Where-- 452 00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:12,018 Oh, yeah, that's right. 453 00:24:12,019 --> 00:24:13,620 Here's the third story. 454 00:24:26,802 --> 00:24:27,735 Scalpel. 455 00:24:28,804 --> 00:24:30,104 Scalpel. 456 00:24:31,406 --> 00:24:32,506 forceps. 457 00:24:32,507 --> 00:24:34,208 Forceps. 458 00:24:39,915 --> 00:24:41,549 Gesundheit. Thank you. 459 00:24:42,918 --> 00:24:44,352 Grover Shepherd scissors. 460 00:24:44,353 --> 00:24:45,720 Grover Shepherd scissors. 461 00:24:50,025 --> 00:24:51,692 Okay, sew her up. 462 00:24:51,693 --> 00:24:52,993 Good work, Dr. Richie. 463 00:24:52,994 --> 00:24:54,662 Thanks, Nancy. 464 00:24:54,663 --> 00:24:56,063 Ooh! 465 00:25:00,836 --> 00:25:04,438 Oh, it hurts! Oh! Every time I move! 466 00:25:04,439 --> 00:25:05,840 You're gonna be okay. 467 00:25:05,841 --> 00:25:07,942 Hey, hey, hey, sounds like there's a cougar in here. 468 00:25:07,943 --> 00:25:09,043 How we doing today? 469 00:25:09,044 --> 00:25:10,544 Thank god you're here, Dr. Richie. 470 00:25:10,545 --> 00:25:12,046 She's been in horrible pain like this since the operation. 471 00:25:12,047 --> 00:25:13,180 yeah. Yeah, yeah. 472 00:25:13,181 --> 00:25:14,415 Oh, yeah, I'm sure she has been. 473 00:25:14,416 --> 00:25:15,649 Here, come take a look. 474 00:25:15,650 --> 00:25:16,584 Okay. 475 00:25:20,255 --> 00:25:21,489 See this? 476 00:25:21,490 --> 00:25:23,290 This is Sheila one hour post-op. 477 00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:25,526 And it's my educated guess 478 00:25:25,527 --> 00:25:27,061 That the sharp cutting blades 479 00:25:27,062 --> 00:25:28,696 Of the Grover Shepherd medical scissors 480 00:25:28,697 --> 00:25:32,066 Is what's causing most of the pain. 481 00:25:32,067 --> 00:25:34,435 You left a pair of scissors inside of my wife? 482 00:25:36,138 --> 00:25:37,538 Yes, that's correct. 483 00:25:37,539 --> 00:25:39,006 How can you make a mistake like that? 484 00:25:39,007 --> 00:25:40,608 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, it wasn't a mistake. 485 00:25:40,609 --> 00:25:42,109 I did it as a goof. 486 00:25:42,110 --> 00:25:43,110 You goofed? 487 00:25:43,111 --> 00:25:45,746 No, no, no. Relax. 488 00:25:45,747 --> 00:25:46,747 As a goof. 489 00:25:46,748 --> 00:25:47,915 I did it as a goof. 490 00:25:47,916 --> 00:25:49,150 I-I-I don't get it. 491 00:25:49,151 --> 00:25:50,985 Well, clearly, you just don't know me. 492 00:25:50,986 --> 00:25:52,253 I goof a lot. 493 00:25:52,254 --> 00:25:53,788 My friends know 494 00:25:53,789 --> 00:25:55,322 That at least half the time, 495 00:25:55,323 --> 00:25:56,457 I am goofing. 496 00:25:56,458 --> 00:25:57,591 The thing is, 497 00:25:57,592 --> 00:25:59,460 You need to understand my sense of humor. 498 00:25:59,461 --> 00:26:00,461 I think that's it. 499 00:26:00,462 --> 00:26:02,163 Nancy, you were here 500 00:26:02,164 --> 00:26:03,597 When I was operating on this woman. 501 00:26:03,598 --> 00:26:05,299 I dropped the scissors in her belly. 502 00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:06,901 Why did I do that? 503 00:26:06,902 --> 00:26:10,071 If I remember correctly, you did it as a goof. 504 00:26:10,072 --> 00:26:11,105 Satisfied? Is there anything else-- 505 00:26:11,106 --> 00:26:12,907 Listen, you son of a bitch. 506 00:26:12,908 --> 00:26:15,676 I want you to get that thing out of my wife's stomach now! 507 00:26:18,246 --> 00:26:19,647 Sheila? 508 00:26:19,648 --> 00:26:20,648 Baby? 509 00:26:20,649 --> 00:26:22,149 Oh, she's dead. 510 00:26:22,150 --> 00:26:23,150 What? 511 00:26:23,151 --> 00:26:24,618 Wait, is this a goof? 512 00:26:24,619 --> 00:26:25,619 Is this-- 513 00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:26,921 No, she's dead. 514 00:26:26,922 --> 00:26:28,122 Do you still want me 515 00:26:28,123 --> 00:26:29,657 To take the scissors out-- mm, probably not. 516 00:26:29,658 --> 00:26:31,192 You murdered my wife! 517 00:26:31,193 --> 00:26:34,295 Hey, guy, as a goof, 518 00:26:34,296 --> 00:26:35,663 Guy, as a goof. 519 00:26:35,664 --> 00:26:36,897 You know what? 520 00:26:36,898 --> 00:26:39,266 You're bad vibes. I got to blow. 521 00:26:39,267 --> 00:26:41,535 Man, it's not rocket science. 522 00:26:44,973 --> 00:26:47,008 So let me get this straight. 523 00:26:47,009 --> 00:26:50,878 You're saying you dropped a surgical instrument 524 00:26:50,879 --> 00:26:55,316 Into Mrs. Contiella's body knowingly and deliberately. 525 00:26:55,317 --> 00:26:58,119 I have been an exemplary surgeon 526 00:26:58,120 --> 00:26:59,620 For the last 20 years, a good citizen, 527 00:26:59,621 --> 00:27:01,355 A father, a family man, 528 00:27:01,356 --> 00:27:02,556 A husband. 529 00:27:06,395 --> 00:27:07,962 Did you deliberately 530 00:27:07,963 --> 00:27:10,464 put the scissors into Mrs. Contiella's body? 531 00:27:10,465 --> 00:27:12,299 I would never, under any circumstances, 532 00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:14,068 Do anything to harm a patient 533 00:27:14,069 --> 00:27:15,536 unless I was doing it as a goof. 534 00:27:15,537 --> 00:27:17,238 Did you put the scissors in? 535 00:27:17,239 --> 00:27:18,305 I am a practicing physician, sir. 536 00:27:18,306 --> 00:27:19,306 Did you put the scissors in? 537 00:27:19,307 --> 00:27:20,975 For the last 20 years-- 538 00:27:20,976 --> 00:27:21,976 Did you put the scissors in? 539 00:27:21,977 --> 00:27:23,411 I am not gonna entertain-- 540 00:27:23,412 --> 00:27:24,712 Did you put the scissors in? 541 00:27:24,713 --> 00:27:27,381 As a goddamn goof! 542 00:27:34,356 --> 00:27:36,323 Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, 543 00:27:36,324 --> 00:27:40,194 I like a goof as much as the next guy. 544 00:27:40,195 --> 00:27:45,900 Hell, in college, me and my polack roommate 545 00:27:45,901 --> 00:27:47,768 Once duct-taped this oriental guy 546 00:27:47,769 --> 00:27:50,104 To the inside of the trunk of my Corvette. 547 00:27:51,273 --> 00:27:54,342 So I get a goof. 548 00:27:54,343 --> 00:27:55,943 But there is a goof, 549 00:27:55,944 --> 00:27:59,580 And then there is murder. 550 00:27:59,581 --> 00:28:00,781 Objection. 551 00:28:00,782 --> 00:28:01,982 Sustained. 552 00:28:01,983 --> 00:28:03,150 Overruled. 553 00:28:05,053 --> 00:28:06,187 Goofing. 554 00:28:07,356 --> 00:28:08,422 It's just-- 555 00:28:08,423 --> 00:28:10,558 It's one of the many examples of-- 556 00:28:10,559 --> 00:28:11,726 I have heard enough. 557 00:28:11,727 --> 00:28:14,428 I hereby sentence you to life in prison 558 00:28:14,429 --> 00:28:16,697 For the murder of Sheila Contiella. 559 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,967 Uh, Your Honor. 560 00:28:21,436 --> 00:28:22,503 Don't we get a say in this? 561 00:28:22,504 --> 00:28:23,704 Sure. 562 00:28:23,705 --> 00:28:26,073 You want to go through the whole rigmarole? 563 00:28:26,074 --> 00:28:27,541 Be my guest. 564 00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:34,815 court is back in session. 565 00:28:34,816 --> 00:28:40,321 Please rise for the Honorable Sophia R. Jackson. 566 00:28:40,322 --> 00:28:42,123 Have you reached a verdict? We have, Your Honor. 567 00:28:42,124 --> 00:28:43,324 We, The Jury, 568 00:28:43,325 --> 00:28:44,892 Find the defendant 569 00:28:44,893 --> 00:28:46,093 Guilty 570 00:28:46,094 --> 00:28:49,063 Of murder in the first degree. 571 00:28:49,064 --> 00:28:51,032 Uh, not to be a dick about this, 572 00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:54,135 But didn't I say that about three hours ago? 573 00:28:54,136 --> 00:28:55,936 But you insisted on going in there and-- 574 00:28:55,937 --> 00:28:57,938 But, your honor, that's how the judicial system works. 575 00:28:57,939 --> 00:29:01,075 Oh, is that how the judicial system works? 576 00:29:01,076 --> 00:29:04,345 Please, please, tell her honor more 577 00:29:04,346 --> 00:29:05,479 About how it all works. 578 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,981 I would really like to know. 579 00:29:06,982 --> 00:29:10,351 So the verdict is, as I said before, 580 00:29:10,352 --> 00:29:13,154 Life in prison for Dr. Richie. 581 00:29:13,155 --> 00:29:14,889 Is this a goof? 582 00:29:14,890 --> 00:29:16,090 I don't think so. 583 00:29:16,091 --> 00:29:17,958 If I could, I'd sentence all 12 of you 584 00:29:17,959 --> 00:29:21,095 To death by my foot up your ass. 585 00:29:21,096 --> 00:29:22,463 Fucking assholes. 586 00:29:24,433 --> 00:29:26,267 Thank you, your honor. 587 00:29:26,268 --> 00:29:27,768 Uh, 588 00:29:27,769 --> 00:29:28,769 You, 589 00:29:28,770 --> 00:29:30,037 You're disbarred. 590 00:29:30,038 --> 00:29:31,205 Me? Why? 591 00:29:31,206 --> 00:29:32,606 What am I gonna do? 592 00:29:32,607 --> 00:29:34,208 I hear they're hiring tour guides 593 00:29:34,209 --> 00:29:36,277 At the nuclear power plant. 594 00:29:36,278 --> 00:29:37,545 That could work, I suppose. 595 00:29:37,546 --> 00:29:39,213 The hours have got to be better than this. 596 00:29:39,214 --> 00:29:41,282 You've been very sweet during all this. 597 00:29:41,283 --> 00:29:42,850 Thank you. 598 00:30:09,644 --> 00:30:12,847 From now on, you Big Buster's wife. 599 00:30:12,848 --> 00:30:15,950 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 600 00:30:15,951 --> 00:30:17,418 I'm-- I'm already taken, 601 00:30:17,419 --> 00:30:19,420 So you're probably gonna have to find somebody else. 602 00:30:29,498 --> 00:30:32,333 You'd better shut the fuck up and start sucking my dick. 603 00:30:34,503 --> 00:30:36,037 I'm goofing. 604 00:30:36,038 --> 00:30:38,239 Oh. 605 00:30:40,742 --> 00:30:43,577 Yeah, okay. 606 00:30:43,578 --> 00:30:45,179 Very good. Okay. 607 00:30:45,180 --> 00:30:46,447 No, I'm not. 608 00:30:46,448 --> 00:30:48,082 Do it. 609 00:30:49,518 --> 00:30:52,019 Mm! 610 00:30:52,020 --> 00:30:54,055 Are you sure your wife is gonna be gone all day? 611 00:30:54,056 --> 00:30:55,222 Oh, yeah. 612 00:30:55,223 --> 00:30:57,091 Yeah, she's disassembling the basketball court 613 00:30:57,092 --> 00:30:58,159 And putting in an ice rink. 614 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,560 Plus, half her crew didn't show up, 615 00:30:59,561 --> 00:31:01,228 So she won't be home for hours; trust me. 616 00:31:01,229 --> 00:31:02,530 Oh, I don't know. I mean-- 617 00:31:02,531 --> 00:31:04,532 Well, what's the alternative? We go to your place? 618 00:31:04,533 --> 00:31:06,534 Your roommate's a modern-day Gloria Steinem. 619 00:31:06,535 --> 00:31:07,735 I'll be making love with you, 620 00:31:07,736 --> 00:31:09,070 And she'll be in the room next door 621 00:31:09,071 --> 00:31:10,438 Having a bra-burning session. 622 00:31:10,439 --> 00:31:11,972 What's so terrible about women's lib? 623 00:31:11,973 --> 00:31:13,774 You know, I think they make some really good points. 624 00:31:13,775 --> 00:31:15,176 Don't get me wrong. 625 00:31:15,177 --> 00:31:16,977 I'm all for equal pay. 626 00:31:16,978 --> 00:31:19,413 But there are some differences beyond just the plumbing. 627 00:31:19,414 --> 00:31:20,414 Do I want you on the front lines? 628 00:31:20,415 --> 00:31:21,849 I don't think so. 629 00:31:21,850 --> 00:31:23,784 The Russians will come in with their guns a-blazin', 630 00:31:23,785 --> 00:31:25,453 And you guys will be out powdering your boobs. 631 00:31:25,454 --> 00:31:28,222 You know I get so hot when you talk politics. 632 00:31:31,259 --> 00:31:32,893 So when you gonna break up with Gretchen? 633 00:31:32,894 --> 00:31:34,228 Soon. Soon. 634 00:31:34,229 --> 00:31:35,396 But you've made promises to me! 635 00:31:35,397 --> 00:31:36,764 I--I know. 636 00:31:36,765 --> 00:31:37,798 Liz, it's complicated. 637 00:31:37,799 --> 00:31:38,833 You have to be patient. 638 00:31:38,834 --> 00:31:40,868 I know. I-- 639 00:31:41,970 --> 00:31:44,839 I'll tell Gretchen this week. 640 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,307 Here's the next story. 641 00:31:46,308 --> 00:31:48,309 Mm. 642 00:31:48,310 --> 00:31:51,178 I'm getting excited. 643 00:31:51,179 --> 00:31:52,880 Can you feel me? 644 00:32:05,927 --> 00:32:06,927 There you go. 645 00:32:06,928 --> 00:32:09,130 Ahh! 646 00:32:09,131 --> 00:32:10,698 There you go. There you go. 647 00:32:10,699 --> 00:32:13,567 Oh, you did it. 648 00:32:13,568 --> 00:32:14,802 Is it a boy or a girl? 649 00:32:14,803 --> 00:32:16,904 Let me put it this way: the first one's a boy. 650 00:32:16,905 --> 00:32:19,373 And here comes boy number two. 651 00:32:19,374 --> 00:32:21,242 oh, My God! 652 00:32:23,011 --> 00:32:24,178 Oh! 653 00:32:24,179 --> 00:32:26,447 Are there any more in there, vagina? 654 00:32:27,649 --> 00:32:29,550 I love it! 655 00:32:29,551 --> 00:32:31,352 Oh. 656 00:32:31,353 --> 00:32:34,822 They're my little guys. 657 00:32:34,823 --> 00:32:39,193 Oh, I am gonna love you till the day I die. 658 00:32:53,308 --> 00:32:57,311 Now that Dad's gone and we're grown up, 659 00:32:57,312 --> 00:32:59,513 We think it's time for you to tell us the truth. 660 00:32:59,514 --> 00:33:01,415 About what? 661 00:33:01,416 --> 00:33:03,984 About the fact that you and Dad are white 662 00:33:03,985 --> 00:33:05,453 And we're black. 663 00:33:06,521 --> 00:33:08,589 Ah, right. 664 00:33:08,590 --> 00:33:11,192 Yeah, I had a feeling this day would come. 665 00:33:11,193 --> 00:33:14,028 The year before you were born, 666 00:33:14,029 --> 00:33:17,531 I was the entertainment reporter for the local newspaper. 667 00:33:17,532 --> 00:33:21,769 And I had an opportunity to interview all the big stars: 668 00:33:21,770 --> 00:33:26,040 Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, 669 00:33:26,041 --> 00:33:28,442 Sidney Poitier, everybody. 670 00:33:28,443 --> 00:33:31,379 And even though I was married to your father 671 00:33:31,380 --> 00:33:34,749 And very, very much in love with him, 672 00:33:34,750 --> 00:33:38,085 From time to time, after the interviews, 673 00:33:38,086 --> 00:33:43,190 These stars would... 674 00:33:43,191 --> 00:33:44,258 Fuck me. 675 00:33:44,259 --> 00:33:45,726 Mom, cut to the chase. 676 00:33:45,727 --> 00:33:47,395 Did you have sex with these guys or not? 677 00:33:47,396 --> 00:33:48,696 Well, as I said-- 678 00:33:48,697 --> 00:33:50,264 Who's our biological father? 679 00:33:50,265 --> 00:33:54,301 So one night after an interview, 680 00:33:54,302 --> 00:33:55,970 I took the opportunity 681 00:33:55,971 --> 00:33:59,974 To fuck Arnold Schwarzenegger. 682 00:33:59,975 --> 00:34:01,008 And? 683 00:34:01,009 --> 00:34:03,210 Do you need me to spell it out for you? 684 00:34:03,211 --> 00:34:04,178 Yes. Yes. 685 00:34:06,348 --> 00:34:09,016 I... 686 00:34:09,017 --> 00:34:15,256 F-u-c-k-e-d... 687 00:34:15,257 --> 00:34:20,695 A-r-n-o-l-d 688 00:34:20,696 --> 00:34:23,964 S-c-h-- 689 00:34:23,965 --> 00:34:25,766 Mom-- let her finish. 690 00:34:25,767 --> 00:34:32,340 W-a-r-e-n... 691 00:34:32,341 --> 00:34:35,343 E-g-g... 692 00:34:35,344 --> 00:34:37,878 E-r. 693 00:34:37,879 --> 00:34:40,815 So you're saying Arnold Schwarzenegger's 694 00:34:40,816 --> 00:34:41,916 Our biological father? 695 00:34:41,917 --> 00:34:43,217 Yes. 696 00:34:43,218 --> 00:34:45,419 It's why you're both so tall. 697 00:34:45,420 --> 00:34:46,520 I always told everyone 698 00:34:46,521 --> 00:34:48,022 It was because you got too much sun. 699 00:34:48,023 --> 00:34:49,924 But how can you be sure it's-- 700 00:34:49,925 --> 00:34:51,125 I'm positive. 701 00:34:51,126 --> 00:34:53,260 He was the only man I was with during that time. 702 00:34:53,261 --> 00:34:56,030 And I took the blood test to prove it. 703 00:34:56,031 --> 00:34:57,498 How does that explain the dark color of our skin? 704 00:34:57,499 --> 00:34:58,966 I know. 705 00:34:58,967 --> 00:35:01,836 I know. Believe me, I know. 706 00:35:06,708 --> 00:35:09,210 Boys, since our conversation, 707 00:35:09,211 --> 00:35:11,512 I've been thinking about it a lot. 708 00:35:11,513 --> 00:35:14,515 And I've decided it's best 709 00:35:14,516 --> 00:35:16,851 For you to meet your real father. 710 00:35:16,852 --> 00:35:18,085 Really? 711 00:35:18,086 --> 00:35:19,687 Yes. 712 00:35:19,688 --> 00:35:23,090 So without further ado, 713 00:35:23,091 --> 00:35:24,992 You knew "he'd be back," 714 00:35:24,993 --> 00:35:26,961 And here is-- 715 00:35:26,962 --> 00:35:31,666 The man, the machine, your dad, 716 00:35:31,667 --> 00:35:37,772 The incomparable Arnold Schwarzenegger. 717 00:35:37,773 --> 00:35:39,674 hello, my sons. 718 00:35:39,675 --> 00:35:41,475 I'm Arnold. 719 00:35:41,476 --> 00:35:45,012 So thrilled to finally meet my two boys. 720 00:35:45,013 --> 00:35:46,547 It will be fantastic. 721 00:35:46,548 --> 00:35:48,616 Do you want to go around throw outside the ball, 722 00:35:48,617 --> 00:35:49,984 Something like this? 723 00:35:49,985 --> 00:35:53,320 Mom, that's not Arnold Schwarzenegger. 724 00:35:55,357 --> 00:35:57,191 Arnold, could you wait in the living room 725 00:35:57,192 --> 00:35:58,225 For just a second? 726 00:35:58,226 --> 00:35:59,927 Of course. 727 00:35:59,928 --> 00:36:02,596 I'll be back. 728 00:36:02,597 --> 00:36:04,832 Look, I tried to get in touch with Arnold, 729 00:36:04,833 --> 00:36:06,300 But he's a major politician now, 730 00:36:06,301 --> 00:36:08,669 And I couldn't even get past the receptionist. 731 00:36:08,670 --> 00:36:09,804 That guy 732 00:36:09,805 --> 00:36:11,906 Does corporate events as Arnold, 733 00:36:11,907 --> 00:36:13,674 So I thought at least it would give you an idea 734 00:36:13,675 --> 00:36:15,343 Of what it'd be like to have him around. 735 00:36:15,344 --> 00:36:16,744 Okay, mom. 736 00:36:16,745 --> 00:36:17,745 Thanks. 737 00:36:17,746 --> 00:36:19,947 We'll try to make it work. 738 00:36:19,948 --> 00:36:22,917 That's my beautiful boys. 739 00:36:22,918 --> 00:36:24,352 I'm back. 740 00:36:24,353 --> 00:36:28,055 Oh, hey... 741 00:36:28,056 --> 00:36:29,090 Dad. 742 00:36:29,091 --> 00:36:31,859 Son. 743 00:36:33,261 --> 00:36:34,362 Oh, here we go. Get him! Get him! 744 00:36:34,363 --> 00:36:35,363 I'm gonna get you! 745 00:36:35,364 --> 00:36:36,864 Oh, good one. Okay. 746 00:36:36,865 --> 00:36:39,266 You split right. Split left. 747 00:36:39,267 --> 00:36:40,935 Fantastic! 748 00:36:42,270 --> 00:36:44,772 Okay, here we go. 749 00:36:44,773 --> 00:36:46,640 Oh, dear. 750 00:36:50,946 --> 00:36:52,179 I know this time for you two 751 00:36:52,180 --> 00:36:54,215 Must have been very difficult 752 00:36:54,216 --> 00:36:56,751 On so many levels. 753 00:36:56,752 --> 00:36:59,987 One, your father passing away 754 00:36:59,988 --> 00:37:01,689 Not more than a week ago 755 00:37:01,690 --> 00:37:03,157 At the young age of 42, 756 00:37:03,158 --> 00:37:04,525 Finally succumbing, 757 00:37:04,526 --> 00:37:08,062 After a courageous battle with liver cancer. 758 00:37:08,063 --> 00:37:10,164 Two, the revelation 759 00:37:10,165 --> 00:37:11,632 That your real biological father 760 00:37:11,633 --> 00:37:14,335 Is none other than international-movie-megastar- 761 00:37:14,336 --> 00:37:16,303 Turned-California-Governor. 762 00:37:16,304 --> 00:37:19,240 You know who he is, Arnold Schwarzenegger. 763 00:37:19,241 --> 00:37:21,342 And three, 764 00:37:21,343 --> 00:37:23,978 Having me, Marc Jacobson, 765 00:37:23,979 --> 00:37:25,780 Second-rate stand-up comedian 766 00:37:25,781 --> 00:37:28,883 Doing 24-hour-day impression of Arnold 767 00:37:28,884 --> 00:37:32,420 In the effort to make you comfor-tay-ble--comfortable. 768 00:37:32,421 --> 00:37:34,955 Com-for-table? 769 00:37:34,956 --> 00:37:38,793 And four, the ongoing confusion over the fact 770 00:37:38,794 --> 00:37:41,128 That you have two white biological parents 771 00:37:41,129 --> 00:37:42,430 And yet you yourselves 772 00:37:42,431 --> 00:37:46,867 Are quite obviously dark-skinned African-American boys. 773 00:37:46,868 --> 00:37:47,935 Must be hard. 774 00:37:47,936 --> 00:37:50,271 That really sums it up. 775 00:37:50,272 --> 00:37:52,340 You know, you don't always have to do the Arnold voice 776 00:37:52,341 --> 00:37:53,274 If you don't want to. 777 00:37:57,646 --> 00:38:01,082 Listen, to be honest with you, 778 00:38:01,083 --> 00:38:04,185 Sometimes it's easier for me to express my true feelings 779 00:38:04,186 --> 00:38:05,953 While doing this impersonation. 780 00:38:05,954 --> 00:38:08,289 There are things 781 00:38:08,290 --> 00:38:09,757 That Arnold Schwarzenegger can say 782 00:38:09,758 --> 00:38:14,095 That Marc Jacobson can't. 783 00:38:14,096 --> 00:38:15,029 Or won't. 784 00:38:17,699 --> 00:38:19,533 Come on, race you back to the house! 785 00:38:35,751 --> 00:38:36,817 I let you win on purpose. 786 00:38:36,818 --> 00:38:37,818 You know I let you win. 787 00:38:37,819 --> 00:38:41,756 Oh, look at my boys all sweaty. 788 00:38:41,757 --> 00:38:42,990 Mom, was the real Arnold Schwarzenegger 789 00:38:42,991 --> 00:38:44,325 As nice as this one? 790 00:38:44,326 --> 00:38:45,926 Well, I haven't thought about that night in years. 791 00:38:45,927 --> 00:38:47,495 But if I remember... 792 00:38:49,264 --> 00:38:50,364 Oh, my god. 793 00:38:50,365 --> 00:38:52,166 You're gonna hate me for this. 794 00:38:52,167 --> 00:38:54,802 I made a little boo-boo. 795 00:38:57,806 --> 00:39:00,107 It wasn't Arnold Schwarzenegger. 796 00:39:01,543 --> 00:39:04,412 It was Arsenio Hall. 797 00:39:05,414 --> 00:39:06,847 well, that explains a lot. 798 00:39:06,848 --> 00:39:08,716 So good to finally know the real truth. 799 00:39:08,717 --> 00:39:10,718 What about the blood test you were talking about? 800 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,987 They were for Arsenio Hall. 801 00:39:12,988 --> 00:39:13,921 Oh. 802 00:39:15,190 --> 00:39:16,691 So where does that leave me? 803 00:39:16,692 --> 00:39:18,959 Well, can you do Arsenio? 804 00:39:20,028 --> 00:39:21,028 No. 805 00:39:22,698 --> 00:39:24,065 I can do Eddie Murphy. 806 00:39:24,066 --> 00:39:25,232 A while back, I used to do 807 00:39:25,233 --> 00:39:26,367 A pretty good Eddie Murphy. 808 00:39:26,368 --> 00:39:27,435 That's fine. 809 00:39:27,436 --> 00:39:29,136 Same difference. 810 00:39:29,137 --> 00:39:30,971 Yeah? Okay. 811 00:39:30,972 --> 00:39:32,540 Oh, yeah. 812 00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:34,442 I got some ice cream. 813 00:39:34,443 --> 00:39:36,477 You cannot have none, 814 00:39:36,478 --> 00:39:37,478 'cause you on welfare. 815 00:39:37,479 --> 00:39:38,746 I'm Gumby, damn it. 816 00:39:38,747 --> 00:39:40,247 Psych! Psych! 817 00:39:40,248 --> 00:39:41,248 Remember? 818 00:39:41,249 --> 00:39:42,249 Yeah. 819 00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:43,250 I got the ice cream. 820 00:39:43,251 --> 00:39:44,785 Yeah. 821 00:39:44,786 --> 00:39:47,021 You may think our family's a little different, 822 00:39:47,022 --> 00:39:48,422 But you know what? 823 00:39:48,423 --> 00:39:51,392 It's our family, and that's what counts. 824 00:39:51,393 --> 00:39:53,961 Who's to say who your father is? 825 00:39:53,962 --> 00:39:55,563 Is it the person who raised you? 826 00:39:55,564 --> 00:39:57,765 Is it the person who gave you your DNA? 827 00:39:57,766 --> 00:39:59,600 Or maybe it's the guy who hangs out in your house 828 00:39:59,601 --> 00:40:01,502 Doing an imitation of a famous comedian 829 00:40:01,503 --> 00:40:03,804 Who is the same race as another famous comedian 830 00:40:03,805 --> 00:40:05,906 Who is your biological father. 831 00:40:05,907 --> 00:40:08,442 If you ask us, it's the last one: 832 00:40:08,443 --> 00:40:10,044 The guy who hangs out at your house 833 00:40:10,045 --> 00:40:11,946 Doing an imitation of a famous comedian 834 00:40:11,947 --> 00:40:14,148 Who's the same race as another famous comedian 835 00:40:14,149 --> 00:40:16,083 Who is your biological father. 836 00:40:16,084 --> 00:40:17,318 I'm Greg Jaffe. 837 00:40:17,319 --> 00:40:18,719 And I'm Taye Jaffe. 838 00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:21,088 and we are the Jaffe brothers. 839 00:40:21,089 --> 00:40:22,857 Good night, folks. 840 00:40:25,861 --> 00:40:32,668 841 00:40:32,669 --> 00:40:34,703 Gretchen is a terrific wife, 842 00:40:34,704 --> 00:40:37,372 But Liz-- she makes me feel young 843 00:40:37,373 --> 00:40:40,475 And vital and vibrant, visceral. 844 00:40:40,476 --> 00:40:42,778 And the sex-- Abe, the sex. 845 00:40:42,779 --> 00:40:44,146 Yeah, but is it worth it, Jeff? 846 00:40:44,147 --> 00:40:46,214 I mean, is it worth throwing away 12 years of marriage 847 00:40:46,215 --> 00:40:47,683 For a momentary thrill? 848 00:40:47,684 --> 00:40:49,785 Monogamy is a myth. 849 00:40:49,786 --> 00:40:51,086 It's a myth. 850 00:40:51,087 --> 00:40:53,355 No, monogamy is what keeps society from crumbling. 851 00:40:53,356 --> 00:40:54,556 That's absolutely not true. 852 00:40:54,557 --> 00:40:57,693 We are biochemically engineered to spread our seed. 853 00:40:57,694 --> 00:40:59,461 And the moment you embrace that truth, 854 00:40:59,462 --> 00:41:00,462 The happier you will be. 855 00:41:00,463 --> 00:41:01,563 I'm happy with Betsy. 856 00:41:01,564 --> 00:41:02,564 He's not. You're not. 857 00:41:02,565 --> 00:41:03,565 You convinced yourself you are, 858 00:41:03,566 --> 00:41:04,633 But you're not. I really am. 859 00:41:04,634 --> 00:41:05,634 I mean, is it great 24 hours a day? 860 00:41:05,635 --> 00:41:06,835 No, but I, you know, sleep a lot 861 00:41:06,836 --> 00:41:07,969 To shield out the pain. 862 00:41:07,970 --> 00:41:08,970 If I can get my milk 863 00:41:08,971 --> 00:41:09,971 For free, 864 00:41:09,972 --> 00:41:11,073 You can be damn sure 865 00:41:11,074 --> 00:41:12,574 I'm gonna start fucking cows. 866 00:41:12,575 --> 00:41:13,742 That's easy for you to say. 867 00:41:13,743 --> 00:41:14,910 Literally, I'm literally-- 868 00:41:14,911 --> 00:41:16,545 You've never been married. I have kids. 869 00:41:16,546 --> 00:41:17,979 I'm so serious, it's not even funny. 870 00:41:17,980 --> 00:41:19,381 They're the ones that keep me from slitting my wrists 871 00:41:19,382 --> 00:41:20,549 When I wake up in the morning. 872 00:41:20,550 --> 00:41:21,917 You are living in a fantasy world. 873 00:41:21,918 --> 00:41:22,984 Okay, maybe so, 874 00:41:22,985 --> 00:41:24,486 But I take a pill, and I feel better. 875 00:41:24,487 --> 00:41:26,955 Oh, I don't know who to believe. 876 00:41:26,956 --> 00:41:28,523 Abe or Scotty? 877 00:41:28,524 --> 00:41:31,460 Scotty or Abe? 878 00:41:31,461 --> 00:41:34,830 I do know this: we've got ten stories. 879 00:41:34,831 --> 00:41:36,865 And I'm not gonna let you down. 880 00:41:36,866 --> 00:41:38,700 I promise you that. 881 00:42:14,804 --> 00:42:16,405 son of a bitch. 882 00:42:16,406 --> 00:42:20,909 Paul went and bought himself a CAT Scan Machine. 883 00:42:20,910 --> 00:42:22,044 a CAT Scan Machine? 884 00:42:22,045 --> 00:42:23,612 Like a hospital CAT Scan Machine? 885 00:42:23,613 --> 00:42:24,713 Why would he do that? 886 00:42:24,714 --> 00:42:26,214 That seems ridiculous. 887 00:42:26,215 --> 00:42:29,151 Probably wants to be a hero. 888 00:42:36,626 --> 00:42:39,561 You know what? 889 00:42:39,562 --> 00:42:41,863 We're gonna get a CAT Scan Machine. 890 00:42:41,864 --> 00:42:43,498 Honey, you wouldn't know the first thing 891 00:42:43,499 --> 00:42:45,000 About what to do with a CAT scan. 892 00:42:45,001 --> 00:42:46,134 We'll figure it out. 893 00:42:46,135 --> 00:42:47,369 If I can set up the VCR, 894 00:42:47,370 --> 00:42:48,937 I can set up a CAT Scan Machine. 895 00:42:48,938 --> 00:42:50,172 I set up the VCR. 896 00:42:50,173 --> 00:42:51,173 Ray! 897 00:42:51,174 --> 00:42:52,974 I didn't mean it. 898 00:42:52,975 --> 00:42:54,142 I'm sorry, Jakey. 899 00:42:54,143 --> 00:42:55,911 You know Daddy loves you, right? 900 00:42:55,912 --> 00:42:57,846 his little boy. 901 00:42:57,847 --> 00:42:59,348 I did set up the VCR, though. 902 00:42:59,349 --> 00:43:00,549 Ray! 903 00:43:00,550 --> 00:43:02,250 I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, Jakey. 904 00:43:03,319 --> 00:43:05,654 You know Daddy loves you, right? 905 00:43:05,655 --> 00:43:06,988 his little boy. 906 00:43:06,989 --> 00:43:07,989 I love you too, Daddy. 907 00:43:07,990 --> 00:43:09,257 Ray! 908 00:43:09,258 --> 00:43:10,192 What? 909 00:43:17,700 --> 00:43:19,701 Unbelievable. He bought a CAT scan. 910 00:43:19,702 --> 00:43:21,336 What's the big deal, dad? 911 00:43:21,337 --> 00:43:22,437 Paul! 912 00:43:22,438 --> 00:43:23,638 Oh, my god, Kalen. 913 00:43:23,639 --> 00:43:25,073 I'm so sorry. Daddy didn't mean it. 914 00:43:26,509 --> 00:43:27,542 Nice and easy. 915 00:43:27,543 --> 00:43:28,577 Watch the curb. 916 00:43:28,578 --> 00:43:29,878 Right up there. Right upstairs. 917 00:43:29,879 --> 00:43:33,382 Son of a bitch! 918 00:43:33,383 --> 00:43:35,851 I got to get another one. 919 00:43:49,699 --> 00:43:53,735 Jesus Christ, that sneaky son of a bitch. 920 00:43:56,706 --> 00:43:57,706 Come on, Ray. 921 00:43:57,707 --> 00:43:59,207 Don't be ridic--oh! 922 00:44:03,212 --> 00:44:04,880 I'm sorry, honey. I didn't see you there. 923 00:44:08,184 --> 00:44:09,985 don't look at him. Don't talk to him. 924 00:44:11,688 --> 00:44:13,655 Get in the car. 925 00:44:13,656 --> 00:44:15,524 wh--why? What is this about? 926 00:44:15,525 --> 00:44:17,259 this is why. 927 00:44:17,260 --> 00:44:19,027 I don't want to talk to you anymore. 928 00:44:19,028 --> 00:44:19,961 I'm done with you. 929 00:45:22,759 --> 00:45:24,126 Oh! 930 00:45:24,127 --> 00:45:26,061 Son of a bitch! 931 00:45:41,144 --> 00:45:42,377 Hey. 932 00:45:42,378 --> 00:45:43,812 Hey. 933 00:45:43,813 --> 00:45:46,581 You look like shit. 934 00:45:46,582 --> 00:45:48,083 So do you. 935 00:45:48,084 --> 00:45:49,785 Yeah, I-- 936 00:45:49,786 --> 00:45:50,719 Right. 937 00:45:53,890 --> 00:45:55,190 Let me ask you something. 938 00:45:55,191 --> 00:45:57,859 Do you give the guys that deliver your CAT scan a tip? 939 00:45:57,860 --> 00:45:59,594 I usually throw them five bucks 940 00:45:59,595 --> 00:46:00,696 So they can grab some lunch. 941 00:46:00,697 --> 00:46:02,864 Five bucks? 942 00:46:02,865 --> 00:46:04,466 Where do you get lunch for five bucks? 943 00:46:04,467 --> 00:46:07,169 McDownald's. 944 00:46:07,170 --> 00:46:09,671 Boorger king. 945 00:46:09,672 --> 00:46:10,672 Woondy's. 946 00:46:10,673 --> 00:46:11,673 I love it. 947 00:46:11,674 --> 00:46:13,008 Little changes to the names 948 00:46:13,009 --> 00:46:15,577 Of the most famous fast-food chains. 949 00:46:15,578 --> 00:46:17,713 That's right. 950 00:46:17,714 --> 00:46:22,050 I really do love it, ray. 951 00:46:22,051 --> 00:46:24,086 Thanks. 952 00:46:26,189 --> 00:46:29,458 This is the radioactive core 953 00:46:29,459 --> 00:46:31,259 Where the nuclear power comes from 954 00:46:31,260 --> 00:46:34,629 So you can all plug in your pac-man machines. 955 00:46:34,630 --> 00:46:36,531 Doesn't it look like it's getting too hot in there? 956 00:46:36,532 --> 00:46:37,799 No, no, no. Don't you worry. 957 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,568 We have a perfect safety record here. 958 00:46:39,569 --> 00:46:40,836 We know what we're doing. 959 00:46:42,038 --> 00:46:43,572 attention. 960 00:46:43,573 --> 00:46:44,639 This is not a drill. 961 00:46:46,642 --> 00:46:48,176 It's happening. 962 00:46:48,177 --> 00:46:49,511 It's happening! 963 00:46:49,512 --> 00:46:52,481 No, no, no, no, no, no! 964 00:46:52,482 --> 00:46:54,716 There are 75 kids out there 965 00:46:54,717 --> 00:46:55,851 Who may have been exposed 966 00:46:55,852 --> 00:46:57,919 To dangerous levels of radiation! 967 00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,187 What the hell are we gonna do? 968 00:46:59,188 --> 00:47:00,622 They're at risk unless we can get 969 00:47:00,623 --> 00:47:02,791 All of them tested within the next hour. 970 00:47:02,792 --> 00:47:04,026 Impossible. 971 00:47:04,027 --> 00:47:05,794 Where are we gonna find CAT Scan Machines 972 00:47:05,795 --> 00:47:07,863 For every kid within a ten-mile radius? 973 00:47:07,864 --> 00:47:08,964 I have an idea! 974 00:47:08,965 --> 00:47:10,565 What is it, son? We don't have much time! 975 00:47:10,566 --> 00:47:12,000 Okay, it's a reality show. 976 00:47:12,001 --> 00:47:13,435 We get ten homeless people, 977 00:47:13,436 --> 00:47:15,704 And America votes on which one gets a penthouse apartment. 978 00:47:15,705 --> 00:47:17,039 What's the hook? What's the hook? 979 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,074 Is there a host, a celebrity panel? 980 00:47:19,075 --> 00:47:20,542 I don't know! 981 00:47:20,543 --> 00:47:22,444 It's just a seed of an idea. 982 00:47:22,445 --> 00:47:23,979 I haven't really thought it out yet. 983 00:47:23,980 --> 00:47:25,414 All right, there's something to that, 984 00:47:25,415 --> 00:47:26,715 But we're gonna have to talk about it later 985 00:47:26,716 --> 00:47:27,883 When I can really focus. 986 00:47:27,884 --> 00:47:28,884 Wait a second! 987 00:47:28,885 --> 00:47:30,452 Doesn't your dad 988 00:47:30,453 --> 00:47:33,455 Have a whole bunch of CAT Scan Machines? 989 00:47:49,405 --> 00:47:50,806 Oh, come on! Come on! Come on! 990 00:47:50,807 --> 00:47:53,008 There's nobody here! What about your house? 991 00:47:53,009 --> 00:47:54,810 No, there's no one here either! 992 00:47:54,811 --> 00:47:56,278 I don't have my key! 993 00:48:26,576 --> 00:48:31,079 talking 'bout people. 994 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,548 995 00:48:33,549 --> 00:48:35,884 996 00:48:35,885 --> 00:48:40,489 kept under covers. 997 00:48:40,490 --> 00:48:41,890 998 00:48:41,891 --> 00:48:43,992 It's nice to take a break from that CAT Scan mishigas, 999 00:48:43,993 --> 00:48:45,660 Get out of the house. 1000 00:48:45,661 --> 00:48:48,897 You said it, neighbor. 1001 00:48:48,898 --> 00:48:49,931 health 1002 00:48:49,932 --> 00:48:51,333 Clink! 1003 00:48:51,334 --> 00:48:53,735 just a little too close. 1004 00:48:53,736 --> 00:48:59,174 just a little too long. 1005 00:48:59,175 --> 00:49:03,912 something we don't, darling. 1006 00:49:03,913 --> 00:49:07,015 to talk about. 1007 00:49:07,016 --> 00:49:09,951 open the door. 1008 00:49:09,952 --> 00:49:12,421 Open the door. 1009 00:49:12,422 --> 00:49:13,655 The kids are just-- 1010 00:49:13,656 --> 00:49:15,590 They're just throwing up and-- 1011 00:49:25,601 --> 00:49:27,135 another beer, gentlemen? 1012 00:49:27,136 --> 00:49:28,537 Yeah, I'll take one. 1013 00:49:28,538 --> 00:49:30,238 I'll take two. 1014 00:49:35,144 --> 00:49:37,579 You son of a bitch. 1015 00:49:37,580 --> 00:49:38,580 This guy. 1016 00:49:38,581 --> 00:49:40,315 Come on! 1017 00:49:40,316 --> 00:49:41,416 Don't you die on me, 1018 00:49:41,417 --> 00:49:43,552 Not now, not like this. 1019 00:49:43,553 --> 00:49:45,554 We have a breaking news story. 1020 00:49:45,555 --> 00:49:47,055 75 children either dead or dying 1021 00:49:47,056 --> 00:49:48,557 Of radiation poisoning 1022 00:49:48,558 --> 00:49:50,692 As a result of an accident at a nuclear power plant. 1023 00:49:50,693 --> 00:49:52,094 Their lives would have been spared 1024 00:49:52,095 --> 00:49:53,428 If they'd been able to get access 1025 00:49:53,429 --> 00:49:55,297 To either of two houses on Grover Avenue, 1026 00:49:55,298 --> 00:49:56,932 Each of which reportedly contains 1027 00:49:56,933 --> 00:49:59,001 Dozens of lifesaving CAT Scan Machines 1028 00:49:59,002 --> 00:50:00,535 Collected for unknown reasons 1029 00:50:00,536 --> 00:50:02,371 By their homeowners, adjacent neighbors 1030 00:50:02,372 --> 00:50:04,339 Who are inexplicably nowhere to be found. 1031 00:50:04,340 --> 00:50:05,507 Among the many casualties 1032 00:50:05,508 --> 00:50:07,009 Was nuclear power plant tour guide 1033 00:50:07,010 --> 00:50:09,444 And former criminal prosecutor Barge Michaelson. 1034 00:50:09,445 --> 00:50:10,879 The details are sketchy right now, 1035 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,048 But we'll keep you updated live as the story develops. 1036 00:50:13,049 --> 00:50:14,483 I'm gonna probably head home. 1037 00:50:14,484 --> 00:50:15,817 It's late. 1038 00:50:15,818 --> 00:50:17,352 Check. 1039 00:50:17,353 --> 00:50:19,554 to talk about. 1040 00:50:19,555 --> 00:50:21,490 you've been screwing her for a year? 1041 00:50:21,491 --> 00:50:22,691 It's over. Get out. 1042 00:50:22,692 --> 00:50:23,692 Gretchen. 1043 00:50:23,693 --> 00:50:24,960 Get the fuck out of here! 1044 00:50:24,961 --> 00:50:27,529 I'm done with your-- your lies and your apologies 1045 00:50:27,530 --> 00:50:30,032 And your fucking stone tablets. 1046 00:50:30,033 --> 00:50:32,501 Well, where am i supposed to go? 1047 00:50:32,502 --> 00:50:34,369 You can go to hell for all I care. 1048 00:50:34,370 --> 00:50:36,038 Go move in with your little home wrecker. 1049 00:50:36,039 --> 00:50:37,272 She's not a home wrecker. 1050 00:50:37,273 --> 00:50:39,207 She's an avid film buff. You know that. 1051 00:50:39,208 --> 00:50:41,343 She also considers herself a bit of a shutterbug 1052 00:50:41,344 --> 00:50:42,778 And a prestidigitator. 1053 00:50:42,779 --> 00:50:44,446 You know what, Gretchen? You know what you can do? 1054 00:50:44,447 --> 00:50:45,981 Don't say something you're gonna regret. 1055 00:50:45,982 --> 00:50:46,982 Go... 1056 00:50:46,983 --> 00:50:47,983 I'm warning you, Jeff. 1057 00:50:47,984 --> 00:50:48,984 Fly... 1058 00:50:48,985 --> 00:50:49,985 Don't you say it! 1059 00:50:49,986 --> 00:50:52,921 Go fly a kite, Gretchen. 1060 00:50:52,922 --> 00:50:54,823 Go fly a kite. 1061 00:50:54,824 --> 00:50:56,158 You didn't. 1062 00:50:56,159 --> 00:50:57,626 You did not. 1063 00:50:57,627 --> 00:51:00,395 You motherfucker! 1064 00:51:04,301 --> 00:51:06,369 love, love? 1065 00:51:06,370 --> 00:51:09,305 okay, okay, something to talk about. 1066 00:51:09,306 --> 00:51:11,474 Speaking of something to talk about, today's weather: 1067 00:51:11,475 --> 00:51:14,110 Sunny, mild, warm, a little cooler tonight. 1068 00:51:14,111 --> 00:51:15,978 Ladies might want to put on a shawl. 1069 00:51:15,979 --> 00:51:18,414 Let's get back to continuous music. 1070 00:51:18,415 --> 00:51:21,584 firm in the ground. 1071 00:51:21,585 --> 00:51:22,518 What's up, brother? 1072 00:51:37,668 --> 00:51:39,635 Hey. 1073 00:51:39,636 --> 00:51:41,070 I don't think we've met. I'm Duane. 1074 00:51:41,071 --> 00:51:42,271 Just transferred from Leavenworth. 1075 00:51:42,272 --> 00:51:43,873 Oh, hi. Pleasure. 1076 00:51:43,874 --> 00:51:45,541 Glenn Richie. 1077 00:51:45,542 --> 00:51:47,276 Oh, yeah. 1078 00:51:47,277 --> 00:51:49,579 You're the doctor that killed one of his patients, right? 1079 00:51:49,580 --> 00:51:50,947 Well, it was a goof. 1080 00:51:50,948 --> 00:51:52,015 yeah. 1081 00:51:52,016 --> 00:51:53,616 Sure, it was a goof. I get it. 1082 00:51:53,617 --> 00:51:56,352 Oh, well, I'm glad somebody finally does. 1083 00:51:56,353 --> 00:51:57,453 Oy. 1084 00:52:00,391 --> 00:52:03,426 Hey, Glenn, 1085 00:52:03,427 --> 00:52:07,163 I haven't been on the outside in such a long time. 1086 00:52:07,164 --> 00:52:09,098 Any new good sushi joints open up, or-- 1087 00:52:09,099 --> 00:52:10,466 Oh, well-- 1088 00:52:10,467 --> 00:52:12,368 Oh, were you around when Noshi Sushi opened up? 1089 00:52:12,369 --> 00:52:13,369 No, is it good? 1090 00:52:13,370 --> 00:52:14,437 Oh, are you kidding me? 1091 00:52:14,438 --> 00:52:15,938 These guys got a softshell crab roll. 1092 00:52:15,939 --> 00:52:17,273 It is better than a tuna roll. 1093 00:52:17,274 --> 00:52:18,574 Come on. No, I'm telling you. 1094 00:52:18,575 --> 00:52:20,810 They got a softshell crab roll better than a tuna roll. 1095 00:52:20,811 --> 00:52:22,045 Wow. So if you ever get out-- 1096 00:52:22,046 --> 00:52:23,680 Well, I'm in for life without parole, so... 1097 00:52:23,681 --> 00:52:25,915 Well, if, for whatever reason, you do get out-- 1098 00:52:25,916 --> 00:52:28,117 There won't be a reason. 1099 00:52:28,118 --> 00:52:29,552 But we don't get sushi in here, huh? 1100 00:52:29,553 --> 00:52:32,155 Oh, I wish we did. 1101 00:52:32,156 --> 00:52:33,690 I'm a sushi fiend. 1102 00:52:35,159 --> 00:52:36,592 Are you kidding? I'm addicted to it. 1103 00:52:36,593 --> 00:52:37,927 I'm addicted to it. 1104 00:52:37,928 --> 00:52:40,363 hey, Paco. I'm open. 1105 00:52:44,835 --> 00:52:45,768 Whatever. Sorry. 1106 00:52:46,937 --> 00:52:48,237 So? 1107 00:52:48,238 --> 00:52:49,305 Hey, um, Glenn, 1108 00:52:49,306 --> 00:52:50,973 Would you mind sitting and spotting me 1109 00:52:50,974 --> 00:52:52,041 While I do some reps? 1110 00:52:52,042 --> 00:52:54,544 Oh, wow, Duane, that sounds really nice, 1111 00:52:54,545 --> 00:52:57,613 But I don't think it's such a great idea. 1112 00:52:57,614 --> 00:52:59,248 I'm kind of with Big Buster. 1113 00:52:59,249 --> 00:53:01,517 He--he rapes me every night. 1114 00:53:01,518 --> 00:53:03,052 Right, right. 1115 00:53:03,053 --> 00:53:04,520 He ass-rapes you, huh? 1116 00:53:04,521 --> 00:53:05,655 Yep. 1117 00:53:05,656 --> 00:53:08,791 Wow, just my luck. 1118 00:53:08,792 --> 00:53:10,727 Should have known you'd be taken. 1119 00:53:14,832 --> 00:53:19,335 But we can just do one set, huh? 1120 00:53:19,336 --> 00:53:21,170 You know what? What the hell, right? 1121 00:53:21,171 --> 00:53:23,239 It's just two people enjoying each other's company, 1122 00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:24,374 Juicing their pecs. 1123 00:53:24,375 --> 00:53:26,009 Yeah, come on. No harm in that. 1124 00:53:26,010 --> 00:53:27,043 Right? 1125 00:53:27,044 --> 00:53:28,211 I could always use a spotter. 1126 00:53:28,212 --> 00:53:29,412 Who can't? 1127 00:53:29,413 --> 00:53:31,247 I mean, I think safety first, even in here. 1128 00:53:31,248 --> 00:53:32,782 there you go. 1129 00:53:32,783 --> 00:53:34,283 Three more, Duane? 1130 00:53:34,284 --> 00:53:36,319 Feel the burn. Feel the burn. 1131 00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:37,954 Feel the burn, Duane. 1132 00:53:37,955 --> 00:53:40,123 Oh, oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1133 00:53:40,124 --> 00:53:41,524 Break it up. 1134 00:53:48,432 --> 00:53:50,500 That was interesting. 1135 00:53:50,501 --> 00:53:52,201 I'd say. Yikes. 1136 00:53:54,171 --> 00:53:55,304 Hey, listen, 1137 00:53:55,305 --> 00:53:57,740 I know your ass belongs to Big Buster, 1138 00:53:57,741 --> 00:54:01,878 And I totally-- totally respect that, 1139 00:54:01,879 --> 00:54:04,814 But you and I, we think so much alike. 1140 00:54:04,815 --> 00:54:06,616 You know, like that time that guy got stabbed. 1141 00:54:06,617 --> 00:54:08,051 And I said, "that was interesting," 1142 00:54:08,052 --> 00:54:09,185 And you said, "I'd say." 1143 00:54:09,186 --> 00:54:10,920 Then you said, "yikes." yikes. 1144 00:54:10,921 --> 00:54:13,623 Those are the kind of moment I'm talking about. 1145 00:54:13,624 --> 00:54:15,925 Sometimes I wonder 1146 00:54:15,926 --> 00:54:17,560 What it would be like if I were the one 1147 00:54:17,561 --> 00:54:19,595 Who were ass-raping you every night. 1148 00:54:22,599 --> 00:54:24,667 You know, I think you're feeling 1149 00:54:24,668 --> 00:54:26,869 The energy of our friendship, 1150 00:54:26,870 --> 00:54:28,171 And you're projecting it 1151 00:54:28,172 --> 00:54:29,639 Into something else that isn't there. 1152 00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:35,078 No, Glenn, I'm not-- 1153 00:54:35,079 --> 00:54:36,446 I'm not projecting. 1154 00:54:36,447 --> 00:54:38,948 I can't look at you 1155 00:54:38,949 --> 00:54:40,049 Without fantasizing 1156 00:54:40,050 --> 00:54:41,784 About shoving you up against a wall 1157 00:54:41,785 --> 00:54:44,020 In the laundry room 1158 00:54:44,021 --> 00:54:47,357 And punching you in the mouth 1159 00:54:47,358 --> 00:54:50,360 And then raping you 1160 00:54:50,361 --> 00:54:52,695 Without your consent, of course. 1161 00:54:52,696 --> 00:54:55,465 Hey, that's what makes it rape, right? 1162 00:54:57,501 --> 00:54:59,235 That's what makes it rape. 1163 00:55:03,674 --> 00:55:05,408 Look, Duane. I hear you. 1164 00:55:05,409 --> 00:55:07,010 But? 1165 00:55:07,011 --> 00:55:11,748 But I--I can't just shift gears. 1166 00:55:11,749 --> 00:55:14,117 It's not that simple. 1167 00:55:18,188 --> 00:55:19,355 I think I'm done working out. 1168 00:55:19,356 --> 00:55:21,157 Duane, don't be that guy-- 1169 00:55:21,158 --> 00:55:24,460 No. Glenn, I can't. 1170 00:55:24,461 --> 00:55:27,330 I got nothing left. 1171 00:55:27,331 --> 00:55:29,966 See you around. 1172 00:55:29,967 --> 00:55:30,900 Duane. 1173 00:55:41,779 --> 00:55:44,180 what the fuck do you think you're doing? 1174 00:55:44,181 --> 00:55:46,115 Ahh! 1175 00:55:58,128 --> 00:55:59,295 okay, Doctor. 1176 00:55:59,296 --> 00:56:02,198 It's that time of the night. 1177 00:56:08,806 --> 00:56:10,907 Buster, we need to talk. 1178 00:56:10,908 --> 00:56:12,875 Oh, no. 1179 00:56:12,876 --> 00:56:15,611 No, don't tell me. 1180 00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:22,485 Duane--wow. 1181 00:56:22,486 --> 00:56:24,220 I thought this would be easier. 1182 00:56:24,221 --> 00:56:26,089 Duane Rosenblum wants me to be his bitch, 1183 00:56:26,090 --> 00:56:28,825 And I'm not sure I don't want to not 1184 00:56:28,826 --> 00:56:31,661 Not be his bitch. 1185 00:56:31,662 --> 00:56:33,229 Tell me this is a goof. 1186 00:56:33,230 --> 00:56:35,631 No, not this time. 1187 00:56:37,868 --> 00:56:40,269 You and I have been going through the motions lately. 1188 00:56:40,270 --> 00:56:41,671 We both know that. 1189 00:56:41,672 --> 00:56:45,241 At this point, we're more cell mates than anything else. 1190 00:56:47,978 --> 00:56:52,815 I knew this day would come. 1191 00:56:52,816 --> 00:56:54,283 Glenn, listen to me. 1192 00:56:54,284 --> 00:56:57,954 You have to do what you have to do. 1193 00:56:57,955 --> 00:57:00,089 As long as you're getting ass-raped 1194 00:57:00,090 --> 00:57:03,693 Against your will by someone, anyone, 1195 00:57:03,694 --> 00:57:07,897 Every night, 1196 00:57:07,898 --> 00:57:09,799 Then that's all that matters. 1197 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:11,734 Really? 1198 00:57:19,743 --> 00:57:22,979 Nothing. 1199 00:57:22,980 --> 00:57:25,248 Go on. 1200 00:57:25,249 --> 00:57:26,416 Get out of here. 1201 00:57:28,218 --> 00:57:29,519 Go on! 1202 00:57:39,496 --> 00:57:43,166 Hey, you busy? 1203 00:57:43,167 --> 00:57:45,702 No. 1204 00:57:45,703 --> 00:57:47,704 I was gonna fold this piece of paper for a while, 1205 00:57:47,705 --> 00:57:52,075 But I can do that later. 1206 00:57:52,076 --> 00:57:53,343 What's up? 1207 00:57:53,344 --> 00:57:56,979 Well, I just talked to big buster, and... 1208 00:57:56,980 --> 00:57:58,881 Looks like I'm back on the market. 1209 00:57:58,882 --> 00:58:01,517 Glenn. 1210 00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:04,320 This is wonderful! 1211 00:58:06,657 --> 00:58:08,925 You know what this means, don't you? 1212 00:58:08,926 --> 00:58:11,594 Yes. 1213 00:58:11,595 --> 00:58:13,763 I do. 1214 00:58:15,933 --> 00:58:17,467 ow, ow, ow, ow. 1215 00:58:22,906 --> 00:58:24,474 What's the matter, you baby? 1216 00:58:30,514 --> 00:58:32,482 The King's a beggar. 1217 00:58:32,483 --> 00:58:35,051 Now the play is done. 1218 00:58:35,052 --> 00:58:38,755 All is well ended if this suit be won. 1219 00:58:38,756 --> 00:58:42,392 That you express content, which we will pay 1220 00:58:42,393 --> 00:58:47,130 With strife to please you, day exceeding day. 1221 00:58:47,131 --> 00:58:49,565 Ours be your patience then 1222 00:58:49,566 --> 00:58:52,502 And yours our parts. 1223 00:58:52,503 --> 00:58:59,375 Your gentle hands lend us and take our hearts. 1224 00:58:59,376 --> 00:59:02,645 All's well that ends well. 1225 00:59:02,646 --> 00:59:03,780 fucking baby. 1226 00:59:06,784 --> 00:59:08,618 Lights out! 1227 00:59:15,793 --> 00:59:18,161 Hi, honey bunny, boozie, boozie, 1228 00:59:18,162 --> 00:59:20,229 Boozie pumpkin butt! 1229 00:59:20,230 --> 00:59:22,298 Mwah! 1230 00:59:22,299 --> 00:59:23,333 Have you been drinking? 1231 00:59:23,334 --> 00:59:26,769 No, just a little tequila. 1232 00:59:29,006 --> 00:59:31,107 Oh, I know this bouncer at Club Stingo, 1233 00:59:31,108 --> 00:59:32,809 And I think we should really go tonight. 1234 00:59:32,810 --> 00:59:34,043 I had an idea. 1235 00:59:34,044 --> 00:59:35,712 How about you and I, we stay in. 1236 00:59:35,713 --> 00:59:37,313 We can read from that book or Kierkegaard 1237 00:59:37,314 --> 00:59:38,348 That I bought you. 1238 00:59:38,349 --> 00:59:40,917 No. Don't be such a pooper. 1239 00:59:40,918 --> 00:59:41,951 I want to go out. 1240 00:59:41,952 --> 00:59:44,120 I want to party 24-7, baby. 1241 00:59:44,121 --> 00:59:45,455 Whoo! 1242 00:59:48,092 --> 00:59:50,326 You still love me, don't you, Daddy? 1243 00:59:50,327 --> 00:59:51,728 I mean, you don't regret 1244 00:59:51,729 --> 00:59:53,596 Leaving Gretchen for me, do you? 1245 00:59:53,597 --> 00:59:55,298 Of--of course not. 1246 00:59:55,299 --> 00:59:56,299 Yay! 1247 00:59:56,300 --> 00:59:58,701 Will you buy me a pony? 1248 00:59:58,702 --> 01:00:00,370 Oh, man. 1249 01:00:00,371 --> 01:00:02,038 Oh, man. 1250 01:00:02,039 --> 01:00:05,041 I don't know. I-- 1251 01:00:05,042 --> 01:00:08,244 1252 01:00:08,245 --> 01:00:11,714 I go 1253 01:00:11,715 --> 01:00:20,590 1254 01:00:28,832 --> 01:00:31,267 Hey! Table for two? 1255 01:00:31,268 --> 01:00:32,301 yes, please. 1256 01:00:32,302 --> 01:00:34,570 Right here. 1257 01:00:34,571 --> 01:00:35,705 Have fun, you guys. 1258 01:00:35,706 --> 01:00:36,706 Thanks. Thank you. 1259 01:00:36,707 --> 01:00:38,808 Hey! 1260 01:00:38,809 --> 01:00:40,176 Table for two? 1261 01:00:40,177 --> 01:00:44,347 Louis, you may be the host 1262 01:00:44,348 --> 01:00:46,649 Of the La Fonda list on channel three... 1263 01:00:46,650 --> 01:00:48,117 And you may be Kelly, 1264 01:00:48,118 --> 01:00:50,053 The former girlfriend of Stephen Montgomery, 1265 01:00:50,054 --> 01:00:52,055 That guy who's still stuck in the ground... 1266 01:00:52,056 --> 01:00:55,358 But tonight, we are the two happiest newlyweds 1267 01:00:55,359 --> 01:00:56,526 In the entire world, 1268 01:00:56,527 --> 01:00:58,227 And I couldn't love you more. 1269 01:01:00,431 --> 01:01:01,664 ladies and gentlemen, 1270 01:01:01,665 --> 01:01:03,700 Please welcome Harlan Swallow 1271 01:01:03,701 --> 01:01:07,170 And his better half, Gary. 1272 01:01:09,073 --> 01:01:10,406 well, thank you. 1273 01:01:10,407 --> 01:01:11,941 Howdy, folks. I'm Harlan Swallow. 1274 01:01:11,942 --> 01:01:13,576 And I'm Gary, and I quit. 1275 01:01:15,112 --> 01:01:17,113 Gary-- hang on tight. I have your hand up my ass. 1276 01:01:19,383 --> 01:01:20,450 Oh, somebody's a cheap date. 1277 01:01:20,451 --> 01:01:21,751 Gary, leave the nice lady alone. 1278 01:01:21,752 --> 01:01:23,252 Fuck you. What's your name there, honey? 1279 01:01:23,253 --> 01:01:24,887 Me? 1280 01:01:24,888 --> 01:01:27,023 Of course I'm talking to you. 1281 01:01:27,024 --> 01:01:28,124 I'm not talking to your boyfriend. 1282 01:01:28,125 --> 01:01:29,258 My name's Kelly. 1283 01:01:29,259 --> 01:01:30,259 Kelly, ooh. 1284 01:01:30,260 --> 01:01:31,627 Gary. Shh. 1285 01:01:31,628 --> 01:01:33,529 Hey, Kelly, why don't you meet me after the show, 1286 01:01:33,530 --> 01:01:35,131 And I'll show you my hard wooden dick. 1287 01:01:35,132 --> 01:01:36,265 Oh, my god! 1288 01:01:36,266 --> 01:01:37,500 This guy is so offensive. 1289 01:01:37,501 --> 01:01:38,701 He's not funny at all. 1290 01:01:38,702 --> 01:01:40,870 Shh! I want to hear what Gary's gonna say next. 1291 01:01:40,871 --> 01:01:42,305 Hey, asshole, when do I get paid 1292 01:01:42,306 --> 01:01:44,040 So I can blow this juke joint? 1293 01:01:45,409 --> 01:01:50,246 He said "juke joint." 1294 01:01:50,247 --> 01:01:51,614 Oh, my god. 1295 01:01:53,017 --> 01:01:55,018 I think he was kidding about you coming backstage. 1296 01:01:55,019 --> 01:01:56,352 I think it was just part of the act. 1297 01:01:56,353 --> 01:01:58,821 Louis, can you shut up for one second? 1298 01:01:58,822 --> 01:02:00,790 Honey, I just think it's our honeymoon. 1299 01:02:00,791 --> 01:02:02,492 I would love to get some champagne 1300 01:02:02,493 --> 01:02:03,826 And go back to the room. 1301 01:02:03,827 --> 01:02:05,661 Ew, Louis. Please. 1302 01:02:05,662 --> 01:02:08,197 I just ate a turkey burger. 1303 01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,167 Oh, hey, folks. 1304 01:02:11,168 --> 01:02:12,168 Hi. We loved the show. 1305 01:02:12,169 --> 01:02:13,736 Oh, thanks. 1306 01:02:13,737 --> 01:02:15,638 Can I talk to Gary? 1307 01:02:15,639 --> 01:02:17,240 Um... 1308 01:02:17,241 --> 01:02:18,241 Sure. 1309 01:02:18,242 --> 01:02:19,842 Okay. 1310 01:02:21,145 --> 01:02:22,078 God damn it. 1311 01:02:24,348 --> 01:02:25,882 Hey, there, baby cakes. 1312 01:02:25,883 --> 01:02:27,850 Glad you liked the show. 1313 01:02:27,851 --> 01:02:28,985 Why don't you get rid of the deadweight 1314 01:02:28,986 --> 01:02:30,620 So we can really talk, huh? 1315 01:02:30,621 --> 01:02:34,123 Are you gonna show me your hard wooden dick 1316 01:02:34,124 --> 01:02:35,491 Like you said you would? 1317 01:02:38,128 --> 01:02:39,595 Yeah, I--I got to go home now. 1318 01:02:39,596 --> 01:02:41,130 Well, wait. What about you, Gary? 1319 01:02:41,131 --> 01:02:42,298 You want to come out with us? 1320 01:02:42,299 --> 01:02:43,599 Honey, I think-- 1321 01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,302 I will smack you in the face. 1322 01:02:46,303 --> 01:02:48,438 What do you say, Gary? 1323 01:02:48,439 --> 01:02:49,972 Want to throw back a few? 1324 01:02:49,973 --> 01:02:51,040 He's a little tired. 1325 01:02:51,041 --> 01:02:52,642 We're gonna say good night now. 1326 01:02:52,643 --> 01:02:56,145 Oh, are you two homo? 1327 01:02:57,815 --> 01:03:00,350 Okay, no, I'm not gay. I date women. 1328 01:03:00,351 --> 01:03:02,452 And Gary isn't gay, because he's a wooden puppet 1329 01:03:02,453 --> 01:03:03,786 That I ordered from a company 1330 01:03:03,787 --> 01:03:05,054 In Chicago, okay? 1331 01:03:05,055 --> 01:03:06,389 Good night. 1332 01:03:10,094 --> 01:03:11,260 Kelly, let's-- 1333 01:03:13,430 --> 01:03:15,398 Come on. Sweetie, it's over. 1334 01:03:15,399 --> 01:03:17,033 Let's just-- 1335 01:03:23,173 --> 01:03:26,409 You know, I was really hoping to lose my virginity tonight. 1336 01:03:26,410 --> 01:03:28,544 Yeah, well, I got to go for a walk. 1337 01:03:28,545 --> 01:03:29,545 Oh, really? 1338 01:03:29,546 --> 01:03:31,314 Because I could come... 1339 01:03:31,315 --> 01:03:34,217 With you. 1340 01:03:35,386 --> 01:03:36,586 Just come with you. 1341 01:03:51,235 --> 01:03:52,235 Hi, there. 1342 01:03:52,236 --> 01:03:53,536 Oh, god, 1343 01:03:53,537 --> 01:03:55,271 I've been thinking about you all night. 1344 01:03:56,940 --> 01:03:58,508 I even rubbed one out in the bathroom 1345 01:03:58,509 --> 01:03:59,942 When my husband was buying condoms. 1346 01:04:01,445 --> 01:04:03,780 I wouldn't make you wear one, though. 1347 01:04:15,893 --> 01:04:17,794 Come on, Gary. 1348 01:04:17,795 --> 01:04:20,363 Let's blow this juke joint. 1349 01:04:22,499 --> 01:04:24,867 You're being coy, aren't you? 1350 01:04:35,112 --> 01:04:37,080 Hi. 1351 01:04:44,221 --> 01:04:51,828 1352 01:04:51,829 --> 01:04:52,829 1353 01:04:52,830 --> 01:04:53,996 room, please? 1354 01:04:53,997 --> 01:04:56,532 1355 01:04:56,533 --> 01:04:58,368 1356 01:04:59,470 --> 01:05:02,005 1357 01:05:02,006 --> 01:05:06,509 1358 01:05:06,510 --> 01:05:08,811 1359 01:05:08,812 --> 01:05:11,080 1360 01:05:11,081 --> 01:05:13,983 1361 01:05:13,984 --> 01:05:18,588 with ignorance and pride. 1362 01:05:18,589 --> 01:05:20,123 So you say the last time you saw this guy 1363 01:05:20,124 --> 01:05:21,124 Was about 11:00 p.M.? 1364 01:05:21,125 --> 01:05:22,125 That's right. 1365 01:05:22,126 --> 01:05:23,326 Got it. 1366 01:05:23,327 --> 01:05:24,794 All right. 1367 01:05:24,795 --> 01:05:26,129 I think you should call the cops. 1368 01:05:28,532 --> 01:05:30,867 Oh, come on. 1369 01:06:08,872 --> 01:06:11,808 stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 1370 01:06:11,809 --> 01:06:15,345 We should probably call the cops. 1371 01:06:15,346 --> 01:06:16,279 Wait. 1372 01:06:19,416 --> 01:06:22,852 I don't love you anymore, Louis. 1373 01:06:22,853 --> 01:06:24,320 I'm sorry. 1374 01:06:24,321 --> 01:06:25,888 I thought I did, but I don't. 1375 01:06:25,889 --> 01:06:29,492 I haven't been happy in a long time. 1376 01:06:29,493 --> 01:06:31,361 We're still doing the same old jokes. 1377 01:06:31,362 --> 01:06:33,496 I don't even know what's funny anymore. 1378 01:06:33,497 --> 01:06:35,164 Yes, you were there for me 1379 01:06:35,165 --> 01:06:37,500 When my fiance was embedded in the ground-- 1380 01:06:37,501 --> 01:06:39,035 Still is. 1381 01:06:39,036 --> 01:06:40,036 And still is. 1382 01:06:40,037 --> 01:06:41,604 You say you want a girlfriend. 1383 01:06:41,605 --> 01:06:45,174 When was the last time you had a date? 1384 01:06:45,175 --> 01:06:47,110 Rebecca, the hostess, 1385 01:06:47,111 --> 01:06:50,246 She is dying to go out with you. 1386 01:06:50,247 --> 01:06:52,015 How many signals do you need? 1387 01:06:52,016 --> 01:06:54,650 So our marriage is over? 1388 01:07:03,293 --> 01:07:04,327 It's okay. 1389 01:07:07,297 --> 01:07:10,833 Maybe you're right. 1390 01:07:10,834 --> 01:07:13,302 I know I'm right, buddy. 1391 01:07:14,505 --> 01:07:18,207 her little baby boy. 1392 01:07:18,208 --> 01:07:21,944 I think I should get in touch with my sister. 1393 01:07:21,945 --> 01:07:24,480 I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. 1394 01:07:25,849 --> 01:07:29,552 1395 01:07:29,553 --> 01:07:33,623 1396 01:07:33,624 --> 01:07:41,431 uneasy injustice. 1397 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:45,735 I'm on my own. 1398 01:07:49,173 --> 01:07:52,108 all alone. 1399 01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:54,410 God, this so crazy. 1400 01:07:55,979 --> 01:07:57,814 I've never felt so alive. 1401 01:07:57,815 --> 01:08:03,720 we call home. 1402 01:08:51,068 --> 01:08:54,003 Jeff, wha--what are you doing here? 1403 01:08:54,004 --> 01:08:55,571 Gretchen. 1404 01:08:55,572 --> 01:08:57,674 Hey, I--I was in the neighborhood. 1405 01:08:57,675 --> 01:09:00,877 I thought I'd come by and take a shit. 1406 01:09:00,878 --> 01:09:02,478 You know, it's not really a good time. 1407 01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:03,746 Why don't you come by tomorrow? 1408 01:09:03,747 --> 01:09:05,948 Can I come in just for five minutes? 1409 01:09:05,949 --> 01:09:07,517 Tomorrow, I might not need to shit. 1410 01:09:07,518 --> 01:09:09,952 Gretchen, who's at the door? 1411 01:09:09,953 --> 01:09:12,221 Oh, Jeff, 1412 01:09:12,222 --> 01:09:15,825 You know newsman Jim Stansel. 1413 01:09:15,826 --> 01:09:17,393 So are you and Jim-- 1414 01:09:17,394 --> 01:09:19,195 Yeah, yeah. 1415 01:09:19,196 --> 01:09:20,263 Yeah. 1416 01:09:20,264 --> 01:09:22,165 How's--how's Liz? 1417 01:09:22,166 --> 01:09:24,133 Good, good. 1418 01:09:24,134 --> 01:09:25,868 We're looking for a new pony, actually. 1419 01:09:25,869 --> 01:09:30,640 Oh, a pony can be delightful. 1420 01:09:30,641 --> 01:09:31,941 Listen, Jeff. 1421 01:09:31,942 --> 01:09:33,543 Like I said, this is really not a good time 1422 01:09:33,544 --> 01:09:34,610 For you to take a shit. 1423 01:09:34,611 --> 01:09:36,446 No worries. 1424 01:09:36,447 --> 01:09:37,914 It's good to see you, Gretchen. 1425 01:09:37,915 --> 01:09:40,116 You look great. 1426 01:09:40,117 --> 01:09:41,451 You always look great. 1427 01:09:41,452 --> 01:09:44,253 You look tired. 1428 01:09:44,254 --> 01:09:45,421 Are you taking your fish oil? 1429 01:09:45,422 --> 01:09:46,589 Gretchen, god damn it. 1430 01:09:46,590 --> 01:09:47,990 Could I talk to you for five seconds 1431 01:09:47,991 --> 01:09:50,026 Without you hammering me about my goddamn fish oil? 1432 01:09:50,027 --> 01:09:51,861 Fine! Ruin your fucking skin. 1433 01:09:51,862 --> 01:09:54,130 I'm getting my Omega 3 fatty acids, okay? 1434 01:09:54,131 --> 01:09:56,132 I'm just not taking it in the form of fish oil. 1435 01:09:56,133 --> 01:09:58,468 This is why. 1436 01:09:58,469 --> 01:10:01,537 Yeah, this is why. 1437 01:10:01,538 --> 01:10:04,440 Have a good life, Jeff. 1438 01:10:04,441 --> 01:10:06,376 You too, Gretchen. 1439 01:10:12,116 --> 01:10:14,050 You too. 1440 01:10:17,721 --> 01:10:19,722 Here's the, uh-- 1441 01:10:58,862 --> 01:11:00,763 Hey, new guy's awake. 1442 01:11:00,764 --> 01:11:02,398 What a night. My head is throbbing. 1443 01:11:02,399 --> 01:11:05,802 I'm definitely gonna need some more heroin. 1444 01:11:05,803 --> 01:11:08,304 I know what you need, kid. 1445 01:11:08,305 --> 01:11:10,707 You need a lying Rhino. 1446 01:11:12,376 --> 01:11:13,743 Looks just like the regular shit. 1447 01:11:13,744 --> 01:11:15,278 Why do you call it "lying Rhino?" 1448 01:11:16,513 --> 01:11:18,114 That's a good question. 1449 01:11:18,115 --> 01:11:20,750 And there is a story, my friend. 1450 01:11:20,751 --> 01:11:24,454 The lying Rhino truly existed-- 1451 01:11:24,455 --> 01:11:25,488 and he was a liar. 1452 01:11:25,489 --> 01:11:26,689 hold on a second. 1453 01:11:26,690 --> 01:11:28,624 Before he was a liar, he was living 1454 01:11:28,625 --> 01:11:30,827 On the lower east side of New York City. 1455 01:11:30,828 --> 01:11:32,261 no, no. 1456 01:11:32,262 --> 01:11:34,330 The story starts way before he moved to New York. 1457 01:11:34,331 --> 01:11:36,332 are you gonna tell the story, or am I? 1458 01:11:36,333 --> 01:11:38,134 tell the story. Who's stopping you? 1459 01:11:38,135 --> 01:11:39,969 the first lying Rhino story 1460 01:11:39,970 --> 01:11:41,971 Was how he dropped out of high school. 1461 01:11:41,972 --> 01:11:45,341 Now he's working as a locksmith in Washington, D.C. 1462 01:11:45,342 --> 01:11:47,410 Suffice it to say, he wasn't the greatest locksmith. 1463 01:11:47,411 --> 01:11:49,045 he was terrible. 1464 01:11:49,046 --> 01:11:51,748 primarily because he didn't have any fingers. 1465 01:11:51,749 --> 01:11:53,416 You want your fucking door open? 1466 01:11:53,417 --> 01:11:54,917 Here. 1467 01:11:54,918 --> 01:11:56,886 You'll pay for that, Rhino! 1468 01:11:59,089 --> 01:12:01,290 so that's why they call this the lying Rhino? 1469 01:12:01,291 --> 01:12:03,393 oh, no, no, there's more to the story. 1470 01:12:03,394 --> 01:12:04,727 A few years later, 1471 01:12:04,728 --> 01:12:07,030 The Rhino was working as a street hustler. 1472 01:12:07,031 --> 01:12:08,197 Give me a second, huh? 1473 01:12:08,198 --> 01:12:09,866 I don't have all night. 1474 01:12:09,867 --> 01:12:11,234 Does that thing work or what? 1475 01:12:11,235 --> 01:12:14,404 Stop talking to me and let me concentrate. 1476 01:12:14,405 --> 01:12:16,072 You know what? Forget it. 1477 01:12:16,073 --> 01:12:17,140 Forget it. Forget this. 1478 01:12:18,475 --> 01:12:19,575 God, what is with people? 1479 01:12:19,576 --> 01:12:22,178 this guy couldn't keep a job. 1480 01:12:22,179 --> 01:12:24,013 Then one night, he gets a gig 1481 01:12:24,014 --> 01:12:27,083 Playing piano in a poolside jazz band. 1482 01:12:30,387 --> 01:12:31,721 Take it, Rhino. 1483 01:12:31,722 --> 01:12:33,189 And two, three, four. 1484 01:12:34,458 --> 01:12:36,059 You're fired! 1485 01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:37,126 What? 1486 01:12:37,127 --> 01:12:38,561 'cause I feel passion for this? 1487 01:12:41,231 --> 01:12:43,266 oh! 1488 01:12:49,540 --> 01:12:51,240 you see that bee over there? 1489 01:12:51,241 --> 01:12:52,642 Yeah. 1490 01:12:52,643 --> 01:12:54,277 You know what I heard? 1491 01:12:54,278 --> 01:12:55,945 He's a card-carrying member 1492 01:12:55,946 --> 01:13:00,049 Of the organization for white racial purity. 1493 01:13:00,050 --> 01:13:02,919 Yeah, he's a white supremist. 1494 01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,220 Yeah? 1495 01:13:04,221 --> 01:13:05,321 I shit you not. 1496 01:13:05,322 --> 01:13:07,390 Hey, guess what I hear about the bee. 1497 01:13:07,391 --> 01:13:08,891 I hear he's a white supremist. 1498 01:13:09,893 --> 01:13:13,196 I heard what you been saying. 1499 01:13:13,197 --> 01:13:15,465 Oh, my wing! Hey! Ow. 1500 01:13:15,466 --> 01:13:18,001 the Rhino finally found something he was good at: 1501 01:13:18,002 --> 01:13:20,003 Spreading lies. 1502 01:13:21,138 --> 01:13:23,840 Hey, I hear she sucked some guy's balls 1503 01:13:23,841 --> 01:13:25,208 At her bachelorette party. 1504 01:13:25,209 --> 01:13:26,209 Oh! 1505 01:13:26,210 --> 01:13:27,343 Did you hear about mama owl? 1506 01:13:27,344 --> 01:13:29,779 She's on meds for her busted cervix. 1507 01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:30,913 I'd stay away 1508 01:13:30,914 --> 01:13:32,548 From saint Geraldine's nursery school. 1509 01:13:32,549 --> 01:13:35,885 Word is the principal there likes to fuck all the kids. 1510 01:13:35,886 --> 01:13:37,587 Rhino was on top of the world. 1511 01:13:37,588 --> 01:13:39,389 Hey, Rhino, baby, give me some dirt. 1512 01:13:39,390 --> 01:13:40,423 Yo, Rhino, what's up? 1513 01:13:40,424 --> 01:13:41,891 I heard you got some new moves. 1514 01:13:41,892 --> 01:13:43,793 Uh, I was wondering if you had anything 1515 01:13:43,794 --> 01:13:44,927 You'd like to tell me. 1516 01:13:44,928 --> 01:13:46,295 but it wasn't long 1517 01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,132 Before everyone caught on to his lies. 1518 01:13:49,133 --> 01:13:50,266 Get out of here, Rhino. 1519 01:13:50,267 --> 01:13:52,001 Hey, talk to somebody who cares. 1520 01:13:52,002 --> 01:13:53,603 Liar, liar. 1521 01:13:53,604 --> 01:13:55,304 Get the fuck out of here! 1522 01:13:55,305 --> 01:13:57,607 Hey, Darrell, my man. 1523 01:13:57,608 --> 01:13:59,342 Did you hear what happened to the lizard? 1524 01:13:59,343 --> 01:14:01,544 Did you hear what happened to your face? 1525 01:14:01,545 --> 01:14:02,612 Ow! 1526 01:14:02,613 --> 01:14:03,946 Oh! 1527 01:14:03,947 --> 01:14:05,048 Oof! 1528 01:14:07,618 --> 01:14:09,552 Splat! 1529 01:14:09,553 --> 01:14:12,488 so one day, he's out collecting VHS tapes, 1530 01:14:12,489 --> 01:14:13,823 And he hears something: 1531 01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:16,626 Weiner dogs, evil weiner dogs. 1532 01:14:16,627 --> 01:14:19,429 And they're all secretly infecting themselves 1533 01:14:19,430 --> 01:14:22,632 With a deadly sexually transmitted disease. 1534 01:14:22,633 --> 01:14:24,367 And they're planning to start an orgy 1535 01:14:24,368 --> 01:14:26,202 And infect the whole town. 1536 01:14:26,203 --> 01:14:29,739 so the Rhino wants to warn everybody. 1537 01:14:29,740 --> 01:14:31,207 Wait a minute. 1538 01:14:31,208 --> 01:14:33,009 Why don't these weiner dogs die from the deadly disease? 1539 01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,313 They're immune to it. 1540 01:14:37,314 --> 01:14:41,284 Everybody, do not have sex with the weiner dogs. 1541 01:14:41,285 --> 01:14:44,320 They're planning a deadly weiner dog sex orgy. 1542 01:14:44,321 --> 01:14:45,388 Come on. 1543 01:14:45,389 --> 01:14:46,489 You never tell the truth. 1544 01:14:46,490 --> 01:14:47,490 You always lie. 1545 01:14:47,491 --> 01:14:49,158 Why should we believe you? 1546 01:14:49,159 --> 01:14:50,993 Hey, hey, hey, everybody. 1547 01:14:50,994 --> 01:14:52,829 Let's have sex with each other. 1548 01:14:52,830 --> 01:14:54,430 Hmm, I don't know. 1549 01:14:54,431 --> 01:14:57,367 Who you gonna believe, Rhino or weiner dog? 1550 01:15:27,931 --> 01:15:29,399 so what happened to him? 1551 01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:32,368 he moved back to Portland, lost a lot of weight, 1552 01:15:32,369 --> 01:15:34,637 Started wearing these terrible short shorts, 1553 01:15:34,638 --> 01:15:36,239 And eventually started dealing heroin. 1554 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,640 Thanks, man. 1555 01:15:37,641 --> 01:15:39,776 so why do you call the stuff "lying Rhino?" 1556 01:15:39,777 --> 01:15:41,577 Because he delivers it here 1557 01:15:41,578 --> 01:15:43,046 Every day. 1558 01:15:43,047 --> 01:15:44,047 Gentlemen. 1559 01:15:44,048 --> 01:15:45,048 Rhino! 1560 01:15:46,850 --> 01:15:47,884 Later on, my friends. 1561 01:15:47,885 --> 01:15:49,185 That's the Rhino? 1562 01:15:53,290 --> 01:15:55,158 this is the place. 1563 01:15:55,159 --> 01:15:57,093 Not much to look at. 1564 01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:58,961 What you see is what you get. 1565 01:15:58,962 --> 01:16:01,030 Well, what do you expect for $850 a month, 1566 01:16:01,031 --> 01:16:03,499 The inner-- 1567 01:16:03,500 --> 01:16:05,335 What you see is what you get. 1568 01:16:05,336 --> 01:16:07,470 Well, what do you expect for $850 a month, 1569 01:16:07,471 --> 01:16:09,605 The International Space Station Mir out there 1570 01:16:09,606 --> 01:16:12,175 Over there in outer space? 1571 01:16:12,176 --> 01:16:14,711 I'll take it, Mr.-- 1572 01:16:14,712 --> 01:16:16,746 Dalton, Timothy Dalton. 1573 01:16:16,747 --> 01:16:18,648 Like 007, right? 1574 01:16:18,649 --> 01:16:20,249 That's right. 1575 01:16:22,853 --> 01:16:24,721 Here's the keys. 1576 01:16:42,373 --> 01:16:44,340 Hey. 1577 01:16:44,341 --> 01:16:46,976 Hey. 1578 01:16:46,977 --> 01:16:47,977 No. 1579 01:16:47,978 --> 01:16:49,012 Come on. 1580 01:16:49,013 --> 01:16:50,380 Sorry. 1581 01:16:56,653 --> 01:16:58,721 how have you been? 1582 01:16:58,722 --> 01:17:01,991 We talked at the same time. 1583 01:17:01,992 --> 01:17:03,059 How's Liz doing? 1584 01:17:03,060 --> 01:17:04,927 Oh, we broke up. 1585 01:17:04,928 --> 01:17:06,129 She was too young. 1586 01:17:06,130 --> 01:17:08,031 How's Jim Stansel? 1587 01:17:08,032 --> 01:17:10,433 No, it didn't work out. 1588 01:17:10,434 --> 01:17:11,801 His penis was too big. 1589 01:17:11,802 --> 01:17:14,237 I mean, it was great for a while. 1590 01:17:14,238 --> 01:17:16,973 I mean, god, it was so great. 1591 01:17:16,974 --> 01:17:18,508 Sometimes I just think about him 1592 01:17:18,509 --> 01:17:21,010 And I--I have a little orgasm. 1593 01:17:21,011 --> 01:17:22,679 Oh. 1594 01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:24,180 Let me see. 1595 01:17:24,181 --> 01:17:25,314 No. 1596 01:17:25,315 --> 01:17:27,550 Oh, wait. 1597 01:17:27,551 --> 01:17:28,985 Yup, there we go. 1598 01:17:30,921 --> 01:17:33,690 But, you know, it didn't work out. 1599 01:17:33,691 --> 01:17:35,425 Anyway, where are you living? 1600 01:17:35,426 --> 01:17:37,126 Uh, I got this new place. 1601 01:17:37,127 --> 01:17:39,629 It's an empty black void with the stone tablets. 1602 01:17:39,630 --> 01:17:41,097 Right. Right. 1603 01:17:41,098 --> 01:17:42,865 Good to see you haven't changed. 1604 01:17:42,866 --> 01:17:47,403 Gretchen, I never got the chance to apologize 1605 01:17:47,404 --> 01:17:51,841 About the whole "go fly a kite" thing. 1606 01:17:51,842 --> 01:17:54,010 It was way out-of-bounds. 1607 01:17:54,011 --> 01:17:55,378 No one should ever say that to you, 1608 01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:58,247 Not after what happened with you 1609 01:17:58,248 --> 01:18:01,684 And the kite and your brother. 1610 01:18:01,685 --> 01:18:05,388 Thank you. 1611 01:18:05,389 --> 01:18:09,292 Would you maybe want to grab a cup of coffee? 1612 01:18:09,293 --> 01:18:11,694 Oh, I'd love to, but after Liz and I broke up, 1613 01:18:11,695 --> 01:18:12,929 I got married, 1614 01:18:12,930 --> 01:18:14,931 And I don't want to make the same mistake twice. 1615 01:18:14,932 --> 01:18:18,034 You know, adultery. 1616 01:18:18,035 --> 01:18:20,603 Oh, who are you married to? 1617 01:18:20,604 --> 01:18:22,305 Dianne Wiest. It's great. 1618 01:18:22,306 --> 01:18:23,506 Wow. 1619 01:18:23,507 --> 01:18:24,974 I loved her in bullets over Broadway. 1620 01:18:24,975 --> 01:18:26,976 Oh, yeah, she's really proud of that one. 1621 01:18:26,977 --> 01:18:29,379 And the Oscar didn't hurt either. 1622 01:18:29,380 --> 01:18:31,514 Plus, the residual checks come in handy. 1623 01:18:31,515 --> 01:18:33,383 It's like, "thanks, Woody," you know? 1624 01:18:33,384 --> 01:18:35,618 Right. 1625 01:18:35,619 --> 01:18:36,619 It was good to see you. 1626 01:18:36,620 --> 01:18:37,653 You too. 1627 01:18:37,654 --> 01:18:40,189 Yeah. 1628 01:18:56,173 --> 01:18:57,840 Oh, Gretchen, I love you so much. 1629 01:18:57,841 --> 01:18:58,841 I want you back. 1630 01:18:58,842 --> 01:19:00,343 Yes--oh, no. 1631 01:19:00,344 --> 01:19:01,477 What about Dianne Wiest? 1632 01:19:01,478 --> 01:19:03,680 Oh, fuck me. 1633 01:19:03,681 --> 01:19:08,151 I'm gonna call her and tell her it's over. 1634 01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:10,920 Dianne. 1635 01:19:10,921 --> 01:19:13,990 Hey, how are you? 1636 01:19:13,991 --> 01:19:15,158 What's that? 1637 01:19:15,159 --> 01:19:17,527 160 bucks? 1638 01:19:17,528 --> 01:19:18,761 Wow. 1639 01:19:18,762 --> 01:19:20,797 It's more like Hannah and her dollars. 1640 01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:23,199 I know. Terrible joke. 1641 01:19:23,200 --> 01:19:26,002 Look, I've got some bad news. 1642 01:19:26,003 --> 01:19:29,772 I ran into my ex-wife, Gretchen, and-- 1643 01:19:29,773 --> 01:19:33,376 Well, how do I put this? 1644 01:19:33,377 --> 01:19:37,113 Oh, Dianne. I'm so sorry. 1645 01:19:37,114 --> 01:19:38,414 Really? 1646 01:19:38,415 --> 01:19:41,851 Oh, I-- Dianne, you're great. 1647 01:19:41,852 --> 01:19:44,220 We gave it a good run. 1648 01:19:44,221 --> 01:19:47,557 So I'll have my lawyer send over the papers, okay? 1649 01:19:47,558 --> 01:19:49,325 Uh-huh. All right. 1650 01:19:49,326 --> 01:19:50,693 I will. 1651 01:19:50,694 --> 01:19:52,528 All right. Got to go. 1652 01:19:52,529 --> 01:19:53,629 Yeah, okay. 1653 01:19:53,630 --> 01:19:54,664 All right. Okay. 1654 01:19:54,665 --> 01:19:56,332 Yeah, got to go. 1655 01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:57,800 Dianne, I have to go. 1656 01:19:57,801 --> 01:19:59,202 Okay. 1657 01:19:59,203 --> 01:20:01,404 All right. Bye. 1658 01:20:01,405 --> 01:20:02,472 We're good. 1659 01:20:02,473 --> 01:20:03,406 Oh! 1660 01:20:14,686 --> 01:20:17,254 "if not now, when? 1661 01:20:17,255 --> 01:20:19,823 "if not me, who? 1662 01:20:19,824 --> 01:20:23,093 If not here, where?" 1663 01:20:26,464 --> 01:20:27,831 let's go, Oliver. 1664 01:20:27,832 --> 01:20:29,166 We're gonna be late for church. 1665 01:20:29,167 --> 01:20:31,335 The kids are already in the car. 1666 01:20:33,104 --> 01:20:34,872 Oh, god, Gloria. 1667 01:20:34,873 --> 01:20:36,206 I'm really sick. 1668 01:20:36,207 --> 01:20:39,276 I think I might have a touch of food poisoning. 1669 01:20:39,277 --> 01:20:40,744 You should just go ahead without me. 1670 01:20:40,745 --> 01:20:42,312 Okay. 1671 01:20:44,115 --> 01:20:45,315 Get some rest. 1672 01:20:45,316 --> 01:20:46,684 Okay. 1673 01:20:52,557 --> 01:20:54,291 You deserve an MTV Moon Man Award 1674 01:20:54,292 --> 01:20:55,993 For that performance. 1675 01:20:55,994 --> 01:20:58,862 Three hours to do anything I want. 1676 01:21:07,972 --> 01:21:10,074 Huh. 1677 01:21:10,075 --> 01:21:14,778 Well, I guess I could if I wanted. 1678 01:21:26,124 --> 01:21:27,257 Completely naked? 1679 01:21:27,258 --> 01:21:29,126 Totally nude, my friend. 1680 01:21:29,127 --> 01:21:30,527 The whole time they were at church? 1681 01:21:30,528 --> 01:21:31,595 All morning. 1682 01:21:31,596 --> 01:21:33,964 Most intriguing, Oliver. 1683 01:21:35,467 --> 01:21:36,900 So why don't you come by this Sunday? 1684 01:21:36,901 --> 01:21:37,901 We can be naked together. 1685 01:21:37,902 --> 01:21:38,969 What am I supposed to tell Jeanie? 1686 01:21:38,970 --> 01:21:40,070 Make up an excuse. 1687 01:21:40,071 --> 01:21:41,672 Already got mine lined up for this week. 1688 01:21:41,673 --> 01:21:42,673 What is it? 1689 01:21:42,674 --> 01:21:43,674 Bulimia. 1690 01:21:43,675 --> 01:21:44,942 Nice. 1691 01:21:44,943 --> 01:21:45,943 So is this a gay thing? 1692 01:21:45,944 --> 01:21:47,444 No. 1693 01:21:47,445 --> 01:21:48,779 No, man. 1694 01:21:48,780 --> 01:21:50,180 I'm straight as an arrow. 1695 01:21:50,181 --> 01:21:52,182 I mean, sure, I blew a few sailors in the '80s, 1696 01:21:52,183 --> 01:21:53,751 But that was the '80s. 1697 01:21:53,752 --> 01:21:55,386 I mean, I still can't for the life of me 1698 01:21:55,387 --> 01:21:57,121 Figure out how to solve that Rubik's cube. 1699 01:21:57,122 --> 01:21:58,756 No, this is just a couple straight guys 1700 01:21:58,757 --> 01:22:01,091 Skipping church to hang out naked. 1701 01:22:01,092 --> 01:22:02,192 I don't know, Oliver. 1702 01:22:02,193 --> 01:22:03,494 It's not really my cup of tea. 1703 01:22:03,495 --> 01:22:04,995 Cut to "ding-dong!" 1704 01:22:04,996 --> 01:22:06,230 I mean, actually, it would be-- 1705 01:22:10,335 --> 01:22:11,335 Hey, man. 1706 01:22:11,336 --> 01:22:12,336 Whoa. 1707 01:22:12,337 --> 01:22:13,671 Glad you changed your mind. 1708 01:22:13,672 --> 01:22:14,872 You are really naked. 1709 01:22:14,873 --> 01:22:16,040 I mean, you weren't kidding. 1710 01:22:16,041 --> 01:22:17,074 Yeah. 1711 01:22:17,075 --> 01:22:18,676 And there's your penis, 1712 01:22:18,677 --> 01:22:20,511 And I guess those are your balls, 1713 01:22:20,512 --> 01:22:22,813 And I'm gonna guess your ass is around the back there. 1714 01:22:22,814 --> 01:22:24,748 That's exactly right. 1715 01:22:24,749 --> 01:22:26,917 Why don't you come on in, take off your clothes? 1716 01:22:26,918 --> 01:22:27,851 Okay. 1717 01:22:29,421 --> 01:22:30,487 Musky smell. 1718 01:22:30,488 --> 01:22:32,523 Those are my natural pheromes. 1719 01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:40,130 Hey, man, I got to tell you, 1720 01:22:40,131 --> 01:22:42,266 I thought this was gonna be pretty good. 1721 01:22:42,267 --> 01:22:44,935 But this is pretty good. 1722 01:22:44,936 --> 01:22:47,538 It's pretty good, right? 1723 01:22:47,539 --> 01:22:49,373 You know, I got all these CDs over here. 1724 01:22:49,374 --> 01:22:50,874 You want to listen to something? 1725 01:22:50,875 --> 01:22:52,576 You got any Roberta Flack? 1726 01:22:52,577 --> 01:22:53,577 Are you kidding me? 1727 01:22:53,578 --> 01:22:55,212 I'm a Flack freak. 1728 01:22:55,213 --> 01:22:56,947 What do you want to listen to? 1729 01:22:56,948 --> 01:22:58,349 Killing me softly? 1730 01:22:58,350 --> 01:23:00,784 That's a little Flack 101. 1731 01:23:00,785 --> 01:23:04,254 Why don't we go a little deeper? 1732 01:23:04,255 --> 01:23:05,389 How about this? 1733 01:23:05,390 --> 01:23:07,791 Greatest hits, track two. 1734 01:23:12,297 --> 01:23:14,832 1735 01:23:14,833 --> 01:23:17,634 turn to spring. 1736 01:23:17,635 --> 01:23:19,336 I dig her silky vocals. 1737 01:23:19,337 --> 01:23:21,672 Yeah, and the jazzy rhythm guitar 1738 01:23:21,673 --> 01:23:24,641 And light percussion that wafts throughout. 1739 01:23:24,642 --> 01:23:25,976 Oof. 1740 01:23:25,977 --> 01:23:27,978 Fluid sounds. 1741 01:23:27,979 --> 01:23:29,179 Urbane. 1742 01:23:29,180 --> 01:23:32,182 Mm, contemporary flavor. 1743 01:23:32,183 --> 01:23:35,219 Holds a degree from Howard University. 1744 01:23:35,220 --> 01:23:36,887 That was just-- 1745 01:23:36,888 --> 01:23:37,988 That was great. 1746 01:23:37,989 --> 01:23:39,256 Yeah. Yeah, had a great time. 1747 01:23:39,257 --> 01:23:41,225 Well, why don't you come back next Sunday? 1748 01:23:41,226 --> 01:23:42,393 I don't know. 1749 01:23:42,394 --> 01:23:43,794 I mean, I might feel a little guilty 1750 01:23:43,795 --> 01:23:44,895 If I keep missing church. 1751 01:23:44,896 --> 01:23:47,364 Marty, god doesn't necessarily want us 1752 01:23:47,365 --> 01:23:49,533 To go to church every Sunday. 1753 01:23:49,534 --> 01:23:51,235 Keeping the sabbath might just mean 1754 01:23:51,236 --> 01:23:53,137 Taking a weekly break from our normal life 1755 01:23:53,138 --> 01:23:55,439 And celebrating his great creation. 1756 01:23:55,440 --> 01:23:57,608 And what greater manifestation of his creation is there 1757 01:23:57,609 --> 01:23:58,942 Than the body human? 1758 01:23:58,943 --> 01:24:02,246 For my money, it's just as holy for us to come over here 1759 01:24:02,247 --> 01:24:04,114 And swing our balls around 1760 01:24:04,115 --> 01:24:06,483 And pump up the Roberta Flack. 1761 01:24:06,484 --> 01:24:08,519 You know what? You make a great point. 1762 01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:10,621 I do have one question, though. 1763 01:24:10,622 --> 01:24:12,122 How many other guys should I invite? 1764 01:24:12,123 --> 01:24:15,359 1765 01:24:15,360 --> 01:24:16,694 1766 01:24:17,696 --> 01:24:19,129 hey, I just took a dump 1767 01:24:19,130 --> 01:24:21,131 And didn't have to pull my pants down. 1768 01:24:21,132 --> 01:24:22,333 Or up, right? 1769 01:24:22,334 --> 01:24:23,500 Correctamundo 1770 01:24:23,501 --> 01:24:25,669 Hey, who invited Henry Winkler? 1771 01:24:25,670 --> 01:24:26,670 eh. 1772 01:24:26,671 --> 01:24:28,939 Oh, great. A room full of Fonzie's. 1773 01:24:28,940 --> 01:24:30,407 That's the last thing I need. 1774 01:24:32,277 --> 01:24:34,578 to find romance. 1775 01:24:34,579 --> 01:24:36,246 I like the Roberta Flack. 1776 01:24:36,247 --> 01:24:38,315 How long has that been going on? 1777 01:24:38,316 --> 01:24:39,950 As far as I know, Flack's been de rigueur 1778 01:24:39,951 --> 01:24:40,984 Since day one. 1779 01:24:40,985 --> 01:24:42,319 Wait a minute. Hold the phone. 1780 01:24:42,320 --> 01:24:44,021 I knew it was popular, goal of rigor? 1781 01:24:44,022 --> 01:24:46,457 and then you get to side three, comfortably numb, 1782 01:24:46,458 --> 01:24:48,392 And then he doesn't even have his anger anymore. 1783 01:24:48,393 --> 01:24:50,561 Then he's completely within his own mind, 1784 01:24:50,562 --> 01:24:52,529 Behind his own wall. 1785 01:24:55,233 --> 01:25:01,105 my love for you. 1786 01:25:06,277 --> 01:25:08,946 shining through. 1787 01:25:08,947 --> 01:25:10,180 Yeah? 1788 01:25:10,181 --> 01:25:11,382 Oliver, governor Hutchins here. 1789 01:25:11,383 --> 01:25:12,750 Church ended early today, 1790 01:25:12,751 --> 01:25:14,284 And your wife is on her way home. 1791 01:25:15,286 --> 01:25:16,286 Let's go! 1792 01:25:16,287 --> 01:25:17,521 Jesus shit. 1793 01:25:17,522 --> 01:25:19,056 Fuck! 1794 01:25:31,102 --> 01:25:32,469 They're here. They're here! 1795 01:25:32,470 --> 01:25:33,404 What do we do? 1796 01:25:39,377 --> 01:25:40,477 Hi, dad. 1797 01:25:40,478 --> 01:25:41,779 How's your gangrene? 1798 01:25:41,780 --> 01:25:42,880 Much better. 1799 01:25:42,881 --> 01:25:45,149 Oliver, is something going on here? 1800 01:25:45,150 --> 01:25:46,684 No. 1801 01:25:46,685 --> 01:25:47,718 Why? 1802 01:25:47,719 --> 01:25:49,386 You're acting strange, 1803 01:25:49,387 --> 01:25:51,088 And I want to know what's going on. 1804 01:25:51,089 --> 01:25:54,925 Honey, we made an oath in front of god. 1805 01:25:54,926 --> 01:25:57,194 And you deserve to hear the truth. 1806 01:25:57,195 --> 01:25:59,730 Fellas. 1807 01:26:03,201 --> 01:26:05,002 Every Sunday morning, 1808 01:26:05,003 --> 01:26:08,172 Dozens of men come over here and get naked. 1809 01:26:08,173 --> 01:26:09,406 I see. 1810 01:26:09,407 --> 01:26:10,874 And we never want to go to church again. 1811 01:26:10,875 --> 01:26:12,910 What do you think about that? 1812 01:26:12,911 --> 01:26:15,646 I'll tell you what I think. 1813 01:26:15,647 --> 01:26:16,680 If you ever 1814 01:26:16,681 --> 01:26:19,616 Have a naked party in my home again 1815 01:26:19,617 --> 01:26:21,618 On a Sunday, 1816 01:26:21,619 --> 01:26:24,121 You can kiss my black ass good-bye. 1817 01:26:25,357 --> 01:26:26,357 Wait a minute, Gloria. 1818 01:26:26,358 --> 01:26:27,858 Hear me out. 1819 01:26:27,859 --> 01:26:30,828 1820 01:26:30,829 --> 01:26:33,464 1821 01:26:33,465 --> 01:26:34,865 1822 01:26:34,866 --> 01:26:38,035 1823 01:26:38,036 --> 01:26:40,604 1824 01:26:40,605 --> 01:26:43,107 the poor. 1825 01:26:43,108 --> 01:26:45,542 1826 01:26:45,543 --> 01:26:47,711 fucked a whore. 1827 01:26:47,712 --> 01:26:50,514 1828 01:26:50,515 --> 01:26:54,051 we have to go pray? 1829 01:26:54,052 --> 01:26:55,586 That's the lord's way. 1830 01:26:55,587 --> 01:26:57,955 Touche. 1831 01:26:57,956 --> 01:27:00,624 felt right. 1832 01:27:00,625 --> 01:27:02,960 untrue 1833 01:27:02,961 --> 01:27:05,162 1834 01:27:05,163 --> 01:27:09,833 and the pew. 1835 01:27:09,834 --> 01:27:13,771 on the sabbath. 1836 01:27:13,772 --> 01:27:18,075 to say nay. 1837 01:27:18,076 --> 01:27:23,313 on the sabbath 1838 01:27:23,314 --> 01:27:26,850 to Roberta Flack. 1839 01:27:26,851 --> 01:27:31,021 and our rectums. 1840 01:27:31,022 --> 01:27:35,793 we have shown. 1841 01:27:35,794 --> 01:27:37,928 and our taints 1842 01:27:37,929 --> 01:27:39,930 as a saint's 1843 01:27:39,931 --> 01:27:44,134 1844 01:27:44,135 --> 01:27:48,272 in stone. 1845 01:27:48,273 --> 01:27:52,509 in stone. 1846 01:27:54,012 --> 01:27:56,113 1847 01:27:56,114 --> 01:27:58,282 You couldn't have missed them. 1848 01:27:58,283 --> 01:28:00,651 by gigantic prop tablets, 1849 01:28:00,652 --> 01:28:02,786 their wisdom. 1850 01:28:02,787 --> 01:28:04,788 betrayed my wife, 1851 01:28:04,789 --> 01:28:07,091 at least. 1852 01:28:07,092 --> 01:28:09,293 ten short stories. 1853 01:28:09,294 --> 01:28:14,498 Dianne Wiest. 1854 01:28:14,499 --> 01:28:18,435 with Wiest. 1855 01:28:21,206 --> 01:28:23,073 a little wooden guy. 1856 01:28:23,074 --> 01:28:24,742 in South Bayonne. 1857 01:28:24,743 --> 01:28:26,710 on scotch and rye, 1858 01:28:26,711 --> 01:28:28,145 in my inner thigh. 1859 01:28:28,146 --> 01:28:29,980 I guess that's why 1860 01:28:29,981 --> 01:28:32,416 in stone... 1861 01:28:32,417 --> 01:28:34,651 all have shown. 1862 01:28:34,652 --> 01:28:37,654 like my neighbor. 1863 01:28:37,655 --> 01:28:42,593 with my friend. 1864 01:28:42,594 --> 01:28:46,897 radiated children. 1865 01:28:46,898 --> 01:28:51,201 like sir John Glenn. 1866 01:28:51,202 --> 01:28:53,037 one of ten. 1867 01:28:53,038 --> 01:28:56,407 with the goof. 1868 01:28:56,408 --> 01:28:58,475 with the gags. 1869 01:28:58,476 --> 01:28:59,576 1870 01:28:59,577 --> 01:29:02,046 judge you too crass. 1871 01:29:02,047 --> 01:29:05,115 is on me. 1872 01:29:05,116 --> 01:29:07,818 1873 01:29:07,819 --> 01:29:11,722 stretched-out ass. 1874 01:29:12,924 --> 01:29:17,361 bruised and battered... 1875 01:29:17,362 --> 01:29:19,396 1876 01:29:19,397 --> 01:29:21,932 1877 01:29:21,933 --> 01:29:23,567 1878 01:29:23,568 --> 01:29:26,236 1879 01:29:26,237 --> 01:29:31,575 1880 01:29:32,610 --> 01:29:34,244 I got a trunk butt ass! 1881 01:29:34,245 --> 01:29:38,248 in Mexico, 1882 01:29:38,249 --> 01:29:40,584 how hard I'd fall. 1883 01:29:40,585 --> 01:29:43,520 the story's fictional. 1884 01:29:43,521 --> 01:29:47,324 is Gretchen Mol. 1885 01:29:47,325 --> 01:29:48,992 1886 01:29:48,993 --> 01:29:50,427 1887 01:29:50,428 --> 01:29:52,329 1888 01:29:54,165 --> 01:29:58,836 in his trailer. 1889 01:29:58,837 --> 01:30:01,772 but his socks. 1890 01:30:01,773 --> 01:30:05,476 you kids would be paler. 1891 01:30:05,477 --> 01:30:08,412 have straighter locks. 1892 01:30:08,413 --> 01:30:09,413 1893 01:30:09,414 --> 01:30:11,949 So what does it all mean? 1894 01:30:11,950 --> 01:30:14,318 it all about? 1895 01:30:14,319 --> 01:30:16,754 add up to? 1896 01:30:16,755 --> 01:30:20,657 figured it out? 1897 01:30:20,658 --> 01:30:21,825 tell us! 1898 01:30:21,826 --> 01:30:23,027 1899 01:30:23,028 --> 01:30:24,762 1900 01:30:24,763 --> 01:30:27,097 Put your arms around each other! 1901 01:30:27,098 --> 01:30:28,632 1902 01:30:28,633 --> 01:30:30,634 is calling. 1903 01:30:30,635 --> 01:30:32,636 1904 01:30:32,637 --> 01:30:34,338 Everybody kissing 1905 01:30:34,339 --> 01:30:35,572 And everybody hugging, now, come on! 1906 01:30:35,573 --> 01:30:40,978 1907 01:30:44,282 --> 01:30:48,452 1908 01:30:57,028 --> 01:30:58,028 1909 01:30:58,029 --> 01:30:59,029 1910 01:30:59,030 --> 01:31:00,364 1911 01:31:00,365 --> 01:31:01,365 1912 01:31:01,366 --> 01:31:02,900 1913 01:31:02,901 --> 01:31:06,837 1914 01:31:06,838 --> 01:31:09,673 of a number. 1915 01:31:09,674 --> 01:31:10,908 1916 01:31:10,909 --> 01:31:13,510 1-0 supply. 1917 01:31:13,511 --> 01:31:14,912 that's the Lord's way. 1918 01:31:14,913 --> 01:31:18,148 their actual order? 1919 01:31:18,149 --> 01:31:22,152 all right. 1920 01:31:22,153 --> 01:31:25,322 1921 01:31:25,323 --> 01:31:33,163 1922 01:31:33,164 --> 01:31:34,665 1923 01:31:39,004 --> 01:31:41,238 We're stuck in the ground. 1924 01:31:41,239 --> 01:31:42,873 stuck, stuck! 1925 01:31:42,874 --> 01:31:44,842 but I found fame. 1926 01:31:44,843 --> 01:31:46,877 Check out the frame. 1927 01:31:46,878 --> 01:31:48,879 to jailhouse ho. 1928 01:31:48,880 --> 01:31:50,881 it was time to go. 1929 01:31:50,882 --> 01:31:52,883 and blew up in reno. 1930 01:31:52,884 --> 01:31:54,885 what he know? 1931 01:31:54,886 --> 01:31:56,887 from the goof. 1932 01:31:56,888 --> 01:31:58,889 Redhead nuts on your roof. 1933 01:31:58,890 --> 01:32:00,891 Gretchen Mol. 1934 01:32:00,892 --> 01:32:02,826 for Arsenio hall. 1935 01:32:02,827 --> 01:32:04,895 Paul makes summertime money. 1936 01:32:04,896 --> 01:32:06,897 a ventriloquist's dummy. 1937 01:32:06,898 --> 01:32:08,899 had a Jack Russell. 1938 01:32:08,900 --> 01:32:10,901 the Ron Silver hustle. 1939 01:32:10,902 --> 01:32:12,903 I'm just a savior. 1940 01:32:12,904 --> 01:32:14,905 is what I gave ya. 1941 01:32:14,906 --> 01:32:16,907 a puppet on string. 1942 01:32:16,908 --> 01:32:18,909 that I made hard the thing. 1943 01:32:18,910 --> 01:32:21,011 Feel the sting. 1944 01:32:21,012 --> 01:32:22,980 The ten, y'all. Sing! 1945 01:32:22,981 --> 01:32:26,583 of a number. 1946 01:32:26,584 --> 01:32:29,787 are now going by. 1947 01:32:29,788 --> 01:32:31,121 1948 01:32:31,122 --> 01:32:34,224 is just about over. 1949 01:32:34,225 --> 01:32:36,994 1950 01:32:36,995 --> 01:32:38,729 1951 01:32:38,730 --> 01:32:41,065 To the end of the ten. 1952 01:32:41,066 --> 01:32:42,666 Of the ten. 1953 01:32:42,667 --> 01:32:44,835 I fear, to the end of the ten. 1954 01:32:44,836 --> 01:32:46,103 1955 01:32:46,104 --> 01:32:48,172 of the ten. 1956 01:32:48,173 --> 01:32:51,909 of the ten, I fear. 1957 01:32:51,910 --> 01:32:54,978 stood at the mirror. 1958 01:32:54,979 --> 01:33:00,684 they bloom like spring. 1959 01:33:00,685 --> 01:33:05,956 a gay thing. 1960 01:33:05,957 --> 01:33:09,827 of the ten, dear child. 1961 01:33:09,828 --> 01:33:12,930 reconciled. 1962 01:33:12,931 --> 01:33:18,135 and Dianne Wiest 1963 01:33:18,136 --> 01:33:23,841 on the street. 1964 01:33:23,842 --> 01:33:30,647 sometimes from Rhino shit. 1965 01:33:30,648 --> 01:33:37,454 is what you make of it. 1966 01:33:37,455 --> 01:33:42,326 1967 01:33:42,327 --> 01:33:46,130 of the ten, I know. 1968 01:33:46,131 --> 01:33:49,099 your average dildo. 1969 01:33:49,100 --> 01:33:54,838 speak again, 1970 01:33:54,839 --> 01:33:59,877 her best friend. 1971 01:33:59,878 --> 01:34:03,814 of the ten, John Glenn. 1972 01:34:03,815 --> 01:34:06,884 contamination don't blend, 1973 01:34:06,885 --> 01:34:12,790 wanted more. 1974 01:34:12,791 --> 01:34:17,861 dying for. 1975 01:34:17,862 --> 01:34:24,768 almost constantly. 1976 01:34:24,769 --> 01:34:31,608 where his goof did lead, 1977 01:34:31,609 --> 01:34:36,547 did lead. 1978 01:34:36,548 --> 01:34:40,217 to their creator 1979 01:34:40,218 --> 01:34:43,287 the terminator. 1980 01:34:43,288 --> 01:34:49,226 son of god, 1981 01:34:49,227 --> 01:34:54,098 1982 01:34:54,099 --> 01:34:58,035 of the ten, oh, my. 1983 01:34:58,036 --> 01:35:00,938 out of the sky 1984 01:35:00,939 --> 01:35:07,011 down in the ground. 1985 01:35:07,012 --> 01:35:09,847 1986 01:35:09,848 --> 01:35:11,682 how does he defecate? I don't know. 1987 01:35:11,683 --> 01:35:14,752 sometimes grows 1988 01:35:14,753 --> 01:35:19,023 1989 01:35:19,024 --> 01:35:25,529 is what you make of it, 1990 01:35:25,530 --> 01:35:30,968 of it. 1991 01:35:48,386 --> 01:35:51,588 of the end of the ten. 1992 01:35:51,589 --> 01:35:54,458 What a bunch of fucking assholes. 1993 01:35:54,459 --> 01:35:55,459 Damn.