1 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:38,398 - Michael ! - Oh god, Dwight come on ! 2 00:00:38,402 --> 00:00:39,884 I wanted to talk to you about the downsizing. 3 00:00:39,975 --> 00:00:41,369 There's no downsizing. 4 00:00:41,555 --> 00:00:44,042 But if there were, I'd be protected as assistant regional manager ? 5 00:00:44,054 --> 00:00:47,070 - Assistant to the regional manager Dwight. - Yeah, so I don't have to worry ? 6 00:00:47,196 --> 00:00:49,627 Look look look, I talked to corporate, 7 00:00:49,887 --> 00:00:52,397 About protecting the sales staff and they said they couldn't guarantee it 8 00:00:52,415 --> 00:00:55,936 If there's downsizing. Ok ? But, there's no downsizing. 9 00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:58,628 Bottom line. Do I need to be worried ? 10 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,662 Maybe. 11 00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,412 It looks like there's gonna be downsizing. 12 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,292 That is part of my job, but... 13 00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,061 I hate it 14 00:01:08,245 --> 00:01:11,128 I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump 15 00:01:11,135 --> 00:01:15,687 Is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired" 16 00:01:15,915 --> 00:01:18,508 "You're fired", "you're fired". 17 00:01:19,385 --> 00:01:20,701 He just makes people sad. 18 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,887 And an office can't function that way. 19 00:01:23,025 --> 00:01:24,864 No way. "You're fired". 20 00:01:25,315 --> 00:01:27,341 I think that if I had a catch phrase it would be, 21 00:01:27,415 --> 00:01:30,656 "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want". 22 00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,736 But that's unrealistic so... 23 00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:37,910 It's a real shame, 24 00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:40,663 cause studies have shown that more information get passed through, 25 00:01:40,693 --> 00:01:42,738 water cooler gossips than through official memos, 26 00:01:43,385 --> 00:01:46,483 Which puts me in a disadvantage because 27 00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:49,162 I bring my own water to work. 28 00:01:50,215 --> 00:01:52,108 - Why did you do this ? - I didn't do it. 29 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,522 What do you mean ? 30 00:01:54,085 --> 00:01:56,976 The water cooler was brought over here for... 31 00:01:57,405 --> 00:01:58,712 Maintenance. 32 00:01:58,775 --> 00:02:00,776 So why are you guys here ? 33 00:02:01,095 --> 00:02:03,240 What's the schedule bud'? 34 00:02:05,175 --> 00:02:08,381 Gets that, for operation moral improvement, 35 00:02:08,555 --> 00:02:10,451 Starring Michael Scott. 36 00:02:10,577 --> 00:02:12,840 Now I think I had a little stroke of genius, 37 00:02:12,905 --> 00:02:15,612 in that I have had my assistant Pam, 38 00:02:15,645 --> 00:02:19,162 smile Pam, I have had her go out and find out whose birthday, 39 00:02:19,385 --> 00:02:22,463 is coming up, so we can have a little celebration for it. 40 00:02:22,665 --> 00:02:24,641 Not bad, not bad at all, all right. 41 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,464 And the birthday person is : Drum roll please.... 44 00:02:41,484 --> 00:02:44,433 - Next person on the calendar. - Ok. 45 00:02:45,024 --> 00:02:47,049 - That would be Meredith. - Yes all right. 46 00:02:47,715 --> 00:02:51,720 - Come on down Meredith ! - But it's not until next month. 47 00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:53,435 Ok. 48 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,329 Great ! you know, it will be a surprise. 49 00:02:57,905 --> 00:03:01,011 - You still want to have a party ? - Yeah why not, sure, 50 00:03:01,172 --> 00:03:03,140 go ahead ! Lead a little. Come on Pam. 51 00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:05,725 Come on shake it up, shake it in. 52 00:03:06,361 --> 00:03:07,654 Shake it up. 53 00:03:10,907 --> 00:03:13,114 Spok, is there any signs of life down there ? 54 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,937 Well, let me check captain. 55 00:03:20,194 --> 00:03:22,181 No captain no signs of life down there. 56 00:03:22,825 --> 00:03:25,230 Just a wet blanket, named Pam. 57 00:03:29,995 --> 00:03:31,519 Star Trek. 58 00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:34,828 Well for decorations maybe we could... 59 00:03:35,812 --> 00:03:37,818 - Stupid forget it. - What ? 60 00:03:38,764 --> 00:03:41,279 I was just gonna say maybe we could have streamers but, 61 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,172 that's dumb. Everybody have streamers. 62 00:03:43,789 --> 00:03:46,375 - Never mind - No, yeah, I think that's a good idea. 63 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,766 What color do you guys think ? 64 00:03:49,615 --> 00:03:51,497 Well there's green. 65 00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:53,778 Blue. 66 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:55,505 Yellow. 67 00:03:56,334 --> 00:03:57,878 - Red. - How about green ? 68 00:03:58,553 --> 00:04:00,482 I think green is kind of whorish. 69 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,286 This was tough. 70 00:04:02,383 --> 00:04:04,389 I suggested we flip a coin. 71 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,177 But Angela said she doesn't like to gamble. 72 00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:11,180 Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her. 73 00:04:12,357 --> 00:04:15,193 These are my party planning biatches, 74 00:04:15,675 --> 00:04:17,682 Pulled off an amazing eighties party last year. 75 00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:19,524 "Off the hook" ! 76 00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:22,805 So I was thinking, if you haven't already got the cake... 77 00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:25,620 Maybe going for one of those ice cream cakes from Baskin Robbins... 78 00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:27,521 they're very good. Very delicious. 79 00:04:27,656 --> 00:04:29,720 Meredith is allergic to dairy so... 80 00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,860 She's not the only one that's gonna be eating right ? 81 00:04:32,903 --> 00:04:34,968 I think everybody likes ice cream cake. 82 00:04:36,328 --> 00:04:38,045 It's not, not just about her so... 83 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:40,283 - It's her birthday. - Milk chocolate chip ! 84 00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:41,681 Would be good. 85 00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:49,996 Hey, so listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea... 86 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:52,706 if you and I formed an alliance. 87 00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:56,584 Because of the downsizing. 88 00:04:56,661 --> 00:04:58,503 I think an alliance might be a good idea. 89 00:04:58,581 --> 00:05:00,298 You know, help each other out. 90 00:05:02,941 --> 00:05:05,044 Do you want to form an alliance ? 91 00:05:05,661 --> 00:05:07,359 With me ? 92 00:05:09,428 --> 00:05:11,627 - Absolutely I do. - Good, good. 93 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:14,449 Excellent, ok, now we need to figure out who's vulnerable... 94 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,078 who's protected the... 95 00:05:16,132 --> 00:05:18,254 At that moment I was just so happy. 96 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,032 I mean everything Dwight does, annoys me. 97 00:05:21,148 --> 00:05:23,155 Did you get your tickets ? 98 00:05:23,483 --> 00:05:24,775 To what ? 99 00:05:24,852 --> 00:05:26,685 The gun show. 100 00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:33,987 And I spend... 101 00:05:34,064 --> 00:05:36,418 hours thinking of ways to get back at him... 102 00:05:36,813 --> 00:05:38,916 but only ways that would get me arrested. 103 00:05:39,022 --> 00:05:43,276 Then here he comes and he says "no, Jim, here's a way". 104 00:05:44,564 --> 00:05:46,493 Just one other thing and this is important. 105 00:05:46,618 --> 00:05:48,606 Let's keep this alliance totally a secret. 106 00:05:49,551 --> 00:05:50,265 Yeah. 107 00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,271 Don't tell anyone. 108 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,220 - An alliance ? - Oh, yeah. 109 00:05:54,316 --> 00:05:55,678 What does that even mean ? 110 00:05:55,685 --> 00:05:58,416 I think it has something to do with "survivor", but I'm not sure. 111 00:06:00,104 --> 00:06:04,213 I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, Pam. 112 00:06:04,319 --> 00:06:06,519 Jim ? Hey, Hi Pam. 113 00:06:06,765 --> 00:06:10,590 Can I talk to you a second about the paper products ? 114 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,358 - Did you tell Pam about the alliance ? - No ! 115 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,036 - Just now ! - Oh no, no, no ! 116 00:06:15,172 --> 00:06:17,255 Dwight no. I'm using her... 117 00:06:17,506 --> 00:06:20,313 for the alliance, who knows the most information about this office ? 118 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,442 - Pam ! Right. - That's good, good, pursue this ! 119 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,663 I'm trying to,. Do you see what I'm doing ? 120 00:06:24,799 --> 00:06:26,824 But listen, I'm gonna have to talk to her a lot. 121 00:06:26,949 --> 00:06:29,534 All right, there might chatting, and giggling, 122 00:06:29,619 --> 00:06:32,025 And you got to just pretend to ignore it, wipe it away. 123 00:06:32,071 --> 00:06:33,961 Done ! All right. 124 00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,801 Can you get her, she's right there. That is Meredith. 125 00:06:43,419 --> 00:06:45,116 The birthday girl. 126 00:06:45,435 --> 00:06:47,068 And this... 127 00:06:47,095 --> 00:06:49,563 Is Meredith card. "Happy Bird-day." 128 00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:54,329 Let's see... Jim. 129 00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:59,094 Jim wrote : "Meredith I heard you're turning forty-six but come on... 130 00:06:59,615 --> 00:07:01,882 You're an accountant, just fudge the numbers" 131 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,061 Not bad, pretty funny. 132 00:07:04,076 --> 00:07:06,719 I don't appreciate condoning corporate fraud though. 133 00:07:07,935 --> 00:07:10,163 Here's the thing, whatever I write here... 134 00:07:10,288 --> 00:07:13,144 has to be really really funny. 135 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,507 Because people out there are expecting it. 136 00:07:15,661 --> 00:07:18,034 I've already set the bar really high. 137 00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,426 And they're all worried about their jobs, 138 00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:22,361 you know, it's kind of dark out there. 139 00:07:22,537 --> 00:07:25,027 Can you imagine if I wrote something like : 140 00:07:25,239 --> 00:07:28,133 "Meredith, happy birthday... 141 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,029 you're great, love Michael". 142 00:07:38,389 --> 00:07:40,415 They seem awfully chummy. Don't you think ? 143 00:07:40,579 --> 00:07:42,759 Yeah, what do you think that's about ? 144 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:45,151 Only one way to find out. 145 00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:47,331 Come on. 146 00:07:49,357 --> 00:07:52,415 - You are not going to believe this. - What ? I believe it. 147 00:07:52,618 --> 00:07:55,608 - Well, tensions were high in the kitchen. - I can tell from the body language. 148 00:07:55,786 --> 00:07:58,550 - That looks good, what is it, turkey ? - Italian. 149 00:07:59,466 --> 00:08:01,589 Oh Italian ! Nice. Wow. 150 00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:05,148 Get the works there. Red onion, provolone... 151 00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:06,064 Yeah. 152 00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:08,582 Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off. 153 00:08:08,659 --> 00:08:10,436 Good ! Let them, That's fine it helps our cause. 154 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:13,222 Well I don't know. Because if Kevin is in accounting... 155 00:08:13,265 --> 00:08:16,261 and Toby is in human resources... and they're talking ? 156 00:08:16,293 --> 00:08:17,471 They're forming an alliance. 157 00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,753 - I love their sandwich. - I love their sandwich too. 158 00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:22,815 - Their bread is really good. - Their bread is very good. 159 00:08:23,124 --> 00:08:25,053 Damn it ! God ! 160 00:08:25,935 --> 00:08:27,484 God ! 161 00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:31,931 Ok, listen. 162 00:08:32,182 --> 00:08:35,421 We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance. 163 00:08:35,462 --> 00:08:37,285 And is therefore trying to get us kicked out. 164 00:08:37,449 --> 00:08:39,773 Damn it, why us ? 165 00:08:40,073 --> 00:08:42,484 Because we're strong Dwight, because we're strong. 166 00:08:43,371 --> 00:08:44,791 Meredith, Meredith... 167 00:08:44,835 --> 00:08:47,153 "Mary had a little lamb"... 168 00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,617 Meredith had a little lamb, 169 00:08:49,627 --> 00:08:52,198 don't bring that lamb to work or it'll poop on the floor... 170 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,716 Hey ! Oscar ! Come on in. What's up ? 171 00:08:54,976 --> 00:08:57,189 - I'm sorry to bother you. - No not at all come on in. 172 00:08:57,232 --> 00:09:00,435 - What's going on ? - My nephew is involved with... 173 00:09:01,014 --> 00:09:03,444 With charity for Cerebral Palsy, 174 00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:05,952 And I was wondering if maybe you would like to. 175 00:09:07,553 --> 00:09:09,444 - You know, if... - What ? 176 00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,180 A donate to the charity. 177 00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:13,245 Oh God !'Course I would. 178 00:09:13,891 --> 00:09:16,669 Get it over here ! Get that over here. 179 00:09:16,968 --> 00:09:19,206 - Thank you. - No I'm always good... 180 00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:23,470 For some serious buckage. Wow ! Two dollars, three dollars ? 181 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:26,846 People out here, do not care about... 182 00:09:27,849 --> 00:09:28,910 diseases. 183 00:09:29,007 --> 00:09:32,325 I'm going to give you twenty five dollars. 184 00:09:33,984 --> 00:09:35,562 That's... 185 00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:38,302 - That's, that's very generous. - Oh my gosh, well. 186 00:09:38,765 --> 00:09:42,932 Listen Oscar, generosity and togetherness, and community... 187 00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:46,600 all convalescences into... 188 00:09:47,465 --> 00:09:48,973 Moral. 189 00:09:49,098 --> 00:09:51,355 That's what I say, so... 190 00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:57,085 - Hey Jim, can I talk to you for second ? - Sure, what's up ? 191 00:09:58,203 --> 00:10:00,538 I don't know I'm just going a little crazy... 192 00:10:00,692 --> 00:10:03,258 cause I keep overhearing all these conversations... 193 00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:07,744 between Michael and corporate about like staff issues. 194 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:10,714 - Oh no ! - Yeah. He's making me take notes 195 00:10:10,984 --> 00:10:14,129 on his meetings, and I'm like, these people are my friends. 196 00:10:14,225 --> 00:10:15,653 - Right. - But he's all like 197 00:10:16,019 --> 00:10:18,286 this is confidential you can't tell anybody but..." 198 00:10:19,058 --> 00:10:20,978 I don't know I just feel like I want to... 199 00:10:21,057 --> 00:10:23,271 Just promise me you're gonna say anything. 200 00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:25,736 - I will not. I'm not gonna tell anybody - Ok. 201 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,725 - It's between you and me. - Yeah. 202 00:10:31,642 --> 00:10:33,166 Jackpot. 203 00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:35,587 That was beautiful. All her idea, too. 204 00:10:36,132 --> 00:10:37,676 Awesome. 205 00:10:37,716 --> 00:10:39,856 She's so great. 206 00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,611 Meredith bad-breath. Meredith has bad breath. 207 00:10:45,325 --> 00:10:47,274 - Hey - Hey 208 00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,606 - You wanted to see me ? - Yeah. What do you know about Meredith ? 209 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,984 I don't think she'd be missed. 210 00:10:53,042 --> 00:10:55,241 There's not going to be downsizing Dwight, ok ? 211 00:10:55,262 --> 00:10:57,894 I just, I need to know a little bit more about... 212 00:10:58,627 --> 00:11:00,248 My friend. 213 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,676 Name : Meredith Palmer. 214 00:11:01,811 --> 00:11:04,367 Personal information : divorced twice, two kids. 215 00:11:05,042 --> 00:11:06,932 Employer : Dundler Mifflin Paper Incorporated. 216 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,692 - Awards : multiple "Dundies". - I know that, I know, 217 00:11:09,727 --> 00:11:12,472 I just, I need something kind of embarrassing, you know. 218 00:11:12,501 --> 00:11:15,496 - Kind of fun, inside. - She had a hysterectomy. 219 00:11:17,585 --> 00:11:19,529 - Which one is that again ? - That's when they remove the uterus. 220 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,130 Ho, God ! Dwight no ! 221 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:24,733 I'm trying to write something funny here ok ? 222 00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:26,512 What am I gonna do with a removed uterus ? 223 00:11:26,609 --> 00:11:29,984 - It can be kind of funny. - You know what, I'm on a deadline here, 224 00:11:30,115 --> 00:11:32,642 And just, ok, thanks, thanks for your help, 225 00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:35,440 I'll work it out, thank you Dwight. 226 00:11:37,658 --> 00:11:39,482 That wasn't a waste of time. 227 00:11:40,813 --> 00:11:42,269 Ok, here's the deal, all right. 228 00:11:42,597 --> 00:11:44,758 Pam says that one of the alliances is meeting... 229 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,430 - In the warehouse during Meredith birthday. - Oh, my god we have to be there. 230 00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:48,945 I know ! But it's going to be a little tough 231 00:11:48,966 --> 00:11:51,442 - Because there's no good place to hide. - No no ! Yes there is. 232 00:11:51,539 --> 00:11:53,777 - Behind the shells. Oh my god. - What ? What ? What ? 233 00:11:54,086 --> 00:11:56,825 - I know. I know exactly what to do. - Great. 234 00:11:57,336 --> 00:11:59,439 I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. 235 00:12:00,201 --> 00:12:03,192 One thing about deer. They have very good vision. 236 00:12:03,713 --> 00:12:05,893 One thing about me... 237 00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:09,828 I'm better at hiding than they are at vision. 238 00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:14,208 It's gonna be perfect, ok ? Centrally located, 239 00:12:14,362 --> 00:12:16,465 Perfect cover, I can hear and see everything. 240 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,298 Good. 241 00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,610 - Michael ? - Just a sec. 242 00:12:19,726 --> 00:12:20,536 - Are you done yet ? - Almost there. 243 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:22,629 Ok. Just a second. It is perfect. 244 00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:25,465 Thank you, excellent, here we go. 245 00:12:26,043 --> 00:12:29,005 It is time, thank you, ok come one ! Let's go ! Get the cake, let's go. 246 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,117 Here we go ! Come on come on come on ! 247 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,047 Be quiet. 248 00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:35,164 Wait this isn't gonna work. The lid is open. 249 00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:37,344 - So tape it down. - I can't do that, 250 00:12:37,479 --> 00:12:41,019 - then you won't be able to breathe. - I can breathe just fine, ok ? 251 00:12:41,058 --> 00:12:43,486 But if it makes you feel better, I'll poke holes in the box. 252 00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:46,141 - Thank you. Thank you, - Ok. 253 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,100 Surprise ! 254 00:12:51,524 --> 00:12:53,878 - Surprise ! - No, it's... 255 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,829 It's surprise Meredith ! One, Two. 256 00:12:57,119 --> 00:13:00,630 Happy birthday to you 257 00:13:00,842 --> 00:13:02,772 - Find the key. - Happy birthday. 258 00:13:03,148 --> 00:13:06,659 So you want me to stay here, and stand next to the box. 259 00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:09,649 No, you need to go upstairs to the party. 260 00:13:09,977 --> 00:13:13,209 - So people don't notice we're both gone. - Right. That's good. 261 00:13:13,402 --> 00:13:15,620 Can I trust Jim ? I don't know. 262 00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,456 Do I have a choice ? No. 263 00:13:18,572 --> 00:13:21,031 Frankly I don't. Will I trust Jim ? Yes. 264 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,100 Should I trust Jim ? 265 00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:25,749 You tell me. 266 00:13:25,903 --> 00:13:28,768 Happy birthday to you, Meredith... 267 00:13:28,961 --> 00:13:35,154 Happy birthday to you, and many more 268 00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:43,625 - You were surprised weren't you ? - Yes. 269 00:13:43,634 --> 00:13:46,141 You looked freaked, man, when we said surprise 270 00:13:46,469 --> 00:13:49,729 You were like, "what ? What the hell is going on here ? 271 00:13:50,945 --> 00:13:53,376 - Ice cake. Why don't you have some ? - I can't. 272 00:13:53,742 --> 00:13:55,978 - Come on, a little bit, a little bit. - No I can't eat dairy. 273 00:13:56,019 --> 00:13:58,478 Oh right. Oh god too bad it's so good. 274 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,244 That makes me sick. 275 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,658 You know what if I were allergic to dairy I think I'd kill myself. 276 00:14:04,941 --> 00:14:07,218 This is way way too good. 277 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,594 - He's in a box ? - Pam, he's in a BOX. 278 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:17,269 He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor near the shells. 279 00:14:18,256 --> 00:14:21,367 So you just go down there, and work your magic. 280 00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:29,202 Hey ! Where are you ? Yeah, we were supposed to meet here ! 281 00:14:30,379 --> 00:14:31,968 What ? 282 00:14:32,742 --> 00:14:34,854 Oh my Gosh ! 283 00:14:35,096 --> 00:14:39,552 That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier ! 284 00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:44,260 I just don't know what some of the people in like accounting are gonna do. 285 00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:47,896 It's not specifically that... 286 00:14:50,694 --> 00:14:52,854 Hey Jim, good party eh ? 287 00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:56,491 Just a little some' wiped up you know a little moral boost, no big deal. 288 00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:59,202 Speaking of which I meant to tell you, very impressive, 289 00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:01,912 the donation you gave to Oscar's charity. 290 00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:05,088 - Was that twenty-five bucks ? - Well no, yeah you know. 291 00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:08,742 Money isn't everything Jim. Not the key to happiness. 292 00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:11,172 You know what is ? Joy. 293 00:15:12,031 --> 00:15:15,195 You should remember that, maybe give more than three dollars next time. 294 00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:19,647 Yeah well, three dollars a miles will end up like fifty bucks. 295 00:15:20,118 --> 00:15:24,217 So, god, can't even calculate what you're gonna have to give. 296 00:15:32,177 --> 00:15:33,769 Is Oscar around ? 297 00:15:33,841 --> 00:15:36,851 I just thought it was a kind of a flat, you know, 298 00:15:37,217 --> 00:15:39,822 twenty-five dollars one time donation. 299 00:15:39,996 --> 00:15:43,044 Didn't think it was a per-mile kind of deal, you know so... 300 00:15:44,037 --> 00:15:45,986 - Well, that's what a walk-athon is. - I know. 301 00:15:46,053 --> 00:15:47,674 It says here right on the sheet. 302 00:15:47,886 --> 00:15:51,330 Look look at the sheet, it says "it's however many dollars per-mile". 303 00:15:51,532 --> 00:15:54,079 Got it, yes so it does. 304 00:15:54,426 --> 00:15:57,262 I just think it's kind of cheap to undonate money to a charity. 305 00:15:57,359 --> 00:16:00,851 No, no no no. I wasn't I wasn't, no no, 306 00:16:00,947 --> 00:16:02,819 It's it's not about the money. 307 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:06,311 It's just it it... It's the ethics of the thing, 308 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:08,703 Oscar. 309 00:16:10,342 --> 00:16:12,850 How's your nephew ? Is he in a good shape ? 310 00:16:13,313 --> 00:16:14,953 - Yeah. - How many miles did he do last year ? 311 00:16:15,062 --> 00:16:17,702 - Last year he walked eighteen miles. - Son of a bitch ! 312 00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:20,557 That is impressive, good for him. 313 00:16:42,406 --> 00:16:44,354 - Happy birthday Meredith. - Read it out loud ! 314 00:16:44,576 --> 00:16:47,489 Say who wrote everything. So we know whose is the best. 315 00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,911 Happy bird-day. 316 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:56,875 "Meredith, good news ! You're not actually a year older, 317 00:16:57,251 --> 00:17:00,087 Because you work here, where time stand still." 318 00:17:01,804 --> 00:17:04,448 - Not bad. - That was Stanley. 319 00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:06,985 "Meredith, happy birthday 320 00:17:07,833 --> 00:17:10,168 You're the best, love Pam." 321 00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,030 Thanks darer. 322 00:17:15,232 --> 00:17:16,988 This is from Michael : 323 00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:21,155 "Meredith. Let's hope that the only downsizing that happens to you... 324 00:17:21,329 --> 00:17:24,126 Is that someone downsizes your age." 325 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,234 Because of the downsizing. Rumours. 326 00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:31,916 And because you're getting old. 327 00:17:32,063 --> 00:17:35,304 No, I, I get it. 328 00:17:35,632 --> 00:17:38,140 - It's funny. - You didn't get the joke. 329 00:17:38,584 --> 00:17:40,426 That's cool, that's you know what actually 330 00:17:40,503 --> 00:17:43,002 I have a bunch of these, 331 00:17:43,445 --> 00:17:45,915 good ones that I didn't use. 332 00:17:46,875 --> 00:17:49,750 What was that ? Oh ok ! Here's a good one. 333 00:17:50,174 --> 00:17:53,763 "Meredith, Liz Taylor called, she wants her age back and her divorces back". 334 00:17:54,457 --> 00:17:57,286 Cause Meredith has been divorced like, twice. Is that right ? 335 00:17:57,341 --> 00:17:59,194 - You're right. - Is that right ? 336 00:17:59,271 --> 00:18:00,823 - Ok. - You're right. Yes 337 00:18:00,911 --> 00:18:02,531 Divorce... 338 00:18:05,059 --> 00:18:07,065 Oh ok, "Meredith is so old..." 339 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,450 - "How old is she ?" - Right everybody, you can do it ? 340 00:18:10,499 --> 00:18:12,351 "Meredith is so old..." 341 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,994 - How old is she ? - "She's so old... 342 00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:17,521 She went into an antique store and they kept her". 343 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,029 That wasn't even mine, I got that off the internet. Website. 344 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,595 Don't get mad at me. 345 00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:31,325 - Nice party Michael. - This isn't my fault. 346 00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:36,775 Ladies, not your best effort. Streamers ? 347 00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:39,997 You could have done better than that don't you think ? 348 00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:43,413 - Phyllis wanted red, I didn't. - Oh, boy. 349 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:47,377 Ok we, all right people hold on hold on. 350 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:51,144 Just a second ok, I think we're losing sight of what is really important here. 351 00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:53,509 And that is that we are... 352 00:18:54,612 --> 00:18:58,052 A group of people who work together. 353 00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:01,417 I was, I really wasn't gonna with on this. 354 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:06,830 I've made a very sizable donation to Oscar's nephews 355 00:19:08,726 --> 00:19:10,013 walk-athon. 356 00:19:11,215 --> 00:19:12,566 Twenty-five dollars. 357 00:19:12,662 --> 00:19:14,514 - Per mile. - Per-mile, yes. 358 00:19:14,746 --> 00:19:16,858 When I retire I... 359 00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:19,752 I don't want to just disappear to one island somewhere. 360 00:19:20,746 --> 00:19:22,868 I want to be the guy who gives everything back. 361 00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:26,389 A check for the kids, and for the teen. 362 00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:28,328 I want it to be like : 363 00:19:29,582 --> 00:19:33,363 "Who donated that hospital wing that is saving somebody's life ? 364 00:19:34,617 --> 00:19:37,742 Well, I don't know that was anonymous. 365 00:19:38,379 --> 00:19:39,546 Guess what ? 366 00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:42,729 That was Michael Scott. 367 00:19:42,836 --> 00:19:45,961 But it was anonymous, how do you know ? 368 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:50,601 Because I met him." 369 00:19:51,662 --> 00:19:53,244 Thank you Michael. 370 00:19:54,942 --> 00:19:56,620 Come here. 371 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,852 Don't cash that until Friday ok ? 372 00:20:00,131 --> 00:20:02,234 - Really today ? - Yeah. 373 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:03,961 - Happy birthday. - Nice. 374 00:20:04,212 --> 00:20:06,199 - I could say something... - No don't do that. 375 00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:12,585 Ok, ok, I have something that totally tops the box. 376 00:20:12,749 --> 00:20:14,061 Oh tell me, tell me. 377 00:20:14,244 --> 00:20:18,103 I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stanford 378 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:21,942 and spy on our other branch, no no no, but before he does so, 379 00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:25,614 I told him that he should die his hair, to go undercover. 380 00:20:25,696 --> 00:20:28,627 If we can get him to drive to Connecticut 381 00:20:28,726 --> 00:20:30,939 and put some bright side in his hair. 382 00:20:30,994 --> 00:20:31,968 What the hell is this ? 383 00:20:32,009 --> 00:20:33,482 What, are you trying to cop a feel or something Halpert ? 384 00:20:33,704 --> 00:20:36,230 - No, Dude no. Dude no ! Just listen ! - Hey hey, come on ! 385 00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:39,212 God, I don't even know how to explain this. 386 00:20:40,466 --> 00:20:43,042 Dwight asked me to be in an alliance, 387 00:20:43,563 --> 00:20:45,955 And then... 388 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,174 We've just been messing with him 389 00:20:48,444 --> 00:20:50,817 because of the whole alliance thing... 390 00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:54,473 - It's just office pranks. - It's stupid, it's just office pranks. 391 00:20:54,637 --> 00:20:56,701 Dwight, what the hell is he talking about ? 392 00:20:58,177 --> 00:21:00,589 I have absolutely no idea. 393 00:21:02,605 --> 00:21:04,380 Come on. 394 00:21:09,241 --> 00:21:11,103 Do I feel bad about betraying Jim ? 395 00:21:11,277 --> 00:21:13,380 Not at all. 396 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:16,476 That's the game. Convince him we're on an alliance. 397 00:21:16,785 --> 00:21:19,444 Gets him information, throw him to the wolves. 398 00:21:19,559 --> 00:21:22,222 That's politics baby, get what you can out of someone, 399 00:21:22,762 --> 00:21:24,190 Then crush them. 400 00:21:24,595 --> 00:21:27,006 I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.