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1
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:04,770
- Wa-cha!
Hiyah!
2
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:06,538
Male announcer:
And now
3
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:10,175
Dreamworks' kung fu panda:Legends of awesomeness.
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,211
- [grunts]
[gong rings]
5
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:14,847
♪ hear the legends
of the kung fu panda ♪
6
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:18,317
[scatting]
7
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:20,119
♪ raised in a noodle shop ♪
8
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,887
♪ never seeking glory
or fame ♪
9
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,322
♪ he climbed the mountaintop ♪
10
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,224
♪ and earned
the dragon warrior name ♪
11
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:26,692
Ooh! Ahh! Yah!
12
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,394
♪ kung fu panda ♪
13
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:32,031
[scatting]
14
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,700
♪ master shifu saw
the warrior blossom ♪
15
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,970
♪ and master the skills
of bodacious and awesome ♪
16
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,705
♪ kung fu panda ♪
17
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,908
[scatting]
18
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,077
♪ he lives and he trains
and he fights ♪
19
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,645
♪ with the furious five ♪
20
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:48,047
♪ protect the valley,
something, something ♪
21
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,648
♪ something, something alive ♪
22
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,150
Ooh! Ahh! Uh!
23
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:54,319
♪ kung fu panda ♪
24
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,188
♪ legends of awesomeness ♪
25
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,156
Sweet!
26
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,869
- [panting]
27
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:13,439
Oh! I'm too late!
No!
28
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,474
No! No! No! No! No!
[crowd cheering]
29
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,681
Wait!
30
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,820
Wait!
- Gah!
31
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,358
- Master yao!
[chuckles]
32
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,561
Oh!
Oh, thank goodness.
33
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,030
You almost left before I had
a chance to say good-bye.
34
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,236
Good-bye.
35
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:46,705
- Bye, fuzzy!
Stay out of trouble!
36
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,775
- Master yao, are you absolutely
certain that I can't--
37
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,544
- Yes, shifu.
I have made up my mind.
38
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,948
Po alone will accompany me
to meet with the other master.
39
00:01:58,551 --> 00:02:00,786
- [sighs]
yes, master yao.
40
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,822
- Oh, don't sulk, fuzzy.
We're still buddies!
41
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,792
Hoof bump!
42
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:10,229
- Besties.
- I said buddies, not besties.
43
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,930
- Yes, master yao.
44
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,399
At least stay in your box
for the entire journey.
45
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,902
You have the greatest
kung fu mind in history,
46
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,971
Holding the most powerful
secrets of the shaolin.
47
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:21,173
We can't risk losing them.
48
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,142
- You are right,
of course, shifu,
49
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:26,445
Though I assure you no ill
shall befall me.
50
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,847
- Ow!
51
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,750
[sighs]
bye, besty.
52
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,087
- Buddy!
53
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:41,326
- Master yao, I'm super stoked
about this trip.
54
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,862
I mean, hanging with the guy
who knows everything?
55
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,430
Awesome!
56
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,200
- And I am super stoked
to hang with you as well.
57
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,668
Just look at me.
58
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,871
I can't stop smiling!
59
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:55,107
- Yeah.
- Whoo!
60
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:57,609
I can't wait to meet
with the other master.
61
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:01,280
I'm going to share with him
the five most powerful,
62
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:04,550
Most astonishing,
most mind-boggling
63
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:06,652
Mystic kung fu secrets ever!
64
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,520
[laughs]
love it!
65
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,889
- What kind of stuff do you
think he'll share with you?
66
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,058
- I'm hoping for a good
rice pudding recipe.
67
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,294
- [chuckles]
I like you, master yao.
68
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,729
You're super smart
and super weird.
69
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,631
- That's me, baby!
70
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:23,335
So, po, since we have
some time...
71
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,337
Are there any
of life's mysteries
72
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,206
That you've always wanted
the answer to?
73
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:30,342
- Yeah.
Who sews mantis' clothes?
74
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,045
I mean, you'd need a teeny,
tiny little needle, and--
75
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,714
- I was thinking more
big picture.
76
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:38,850
- Okay, I got one.
77
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,486
What is the purpose of life?
78
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:44,256
- To strive toward
a worthwhile goal.
79
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:47,226
- Aha! I knew it was something
with striving.
80
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,194
- What goal are you
striving for, po?
81
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,562
- Oh!
[chuckles]
82
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,333
I, uh...
Huh.
83
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,768
Wow.
I don't know.
84
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,103
This is terrible.
85
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:01,607
I should know my life's purpose,
shouldn't I?
86
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,909
Master yao?
87
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,677
Master yao!
- Whoo!
88
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,080
I don't know what's happening,
but I love it!
89
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,349
- [panting]
90
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,351
[grunts]
91
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,019
Ah!
92
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,887
Watch out!
Get out of the way!
93
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:19,291
Kung fu master coming through!
94
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,360
- Still no!
95
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,961
[whimpering]
huh?
96
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:26,031
[grunts]
97
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,232
Aah!
98
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,769
[strained grunts]
99
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,105
[sighs]
100
00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:37,409
[thuds echoing]
101
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,311
[crash]
ow!
102
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,813
[groans]
103
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,715
- Perhaps you and I
can discover
104
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,218
Your life's purpose
together, po.
105
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:48,453
- Really?
That'd be awesome.
106
00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:54,226
- Behold!
107
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:57,195
- Yeah, I got some stuff
to do.
108
00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:02,601
So close.
109
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,169
- Behold!
110
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:08,273
I have perfected
the bronze lotus.
111
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,409
What does it do, you ask?
- No.
112
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,644
- It can steal knowledge
right out of your head.
113
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,613
And only I know
how to operate it.
114
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,315
Pretty cool, huh?
115
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,949
- I think we've established
me not caring.
116
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,751
[scoffs]
117
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:36,968
[electricity crackles]
- [screams]
118
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,937
Ugh!
119
00:05:45,044 --> 00:05:46,645
There.
Eat the cookie.
120
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,314
- What kind of--
- eat the cookie!
121
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,783
- [sighs]
122
00:05:53,152 --> 00:05:56,722
Ahh!
123
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,324
Whoa.
I...
124
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,493
I totally know how to operate
that machine.
125
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,894
- And I don't.
126
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,230
You see, it sucked the knowledge
of how the controls work
127
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:08,667
From my head and turned it
into a cookie.
128
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:12,504
You ate the cookie and now
you have that knowledge.
129
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,240
- Not lame.
- I know, right?
130
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,542
- We can make a fortune
with this thing!
131
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:19,544
- You think?
- Hello!
132
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,346
The parade?
Master yao?
133
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,048
The five great mystic secrets?
134
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,583
There were posters everywhere.
135
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,318
- I don't get out much.
136
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,653
- We'll steal his secrets
and auction them off
137
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,856
To your lame
super-villain friends.
138
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:34,059
- I'd prefer to think of them
as colleagues in evil.
139
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,761
- Fine, let's just fire up
your latest
140
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,930
Lame battle machine
and get going.
141
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,199
- It's nice that you're
finally taking an interest
142
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,402
In my work, son.
143
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,270
- Whatever.
144
00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:48,206
- ♪ 46 pots of tea
on the wall ♪
145
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,041
♪ 46 pots of tea ♪
146
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:53,845
- Po, remember when I asked you
what your goal in life is?
147
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,882
- Um, still thinking on that...
A lot.
148
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:59,451
- I may be able
to suggest one to you.
149
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,853
You see, there's a reason
I asked for you alone
150
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,355
To accompany me.
151
00:07:03,357 --> 00:07:06,358
- Shifu finally
creeping you out?
152
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,561
- I wanted to ask
if you'd consider being...
153
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,563
My successor.
154
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,464
- Ah!
155
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,099
What?
156
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,901
- I can't live forever.
157
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,736
Someone will have
to learn my secrets
158
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,705
And remember them
for future generations.
159
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:23,442
- You really think
that I could do that?
160
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,643
- Of course!
[chuckles]
161
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,711
And since your head
isn't cluttered
162
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,714
With lots of thought, you've got
plenty of room in there.
163
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,150
[gasps]
so much room!
164
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:36,288
- Wow, this is just...
Wow.
165
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,323
- You would know
all the great secrets,
166
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:43,462
But you would have
to meditate on them in solitude.
167
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,498
- So I'd know them all, but
I wouldn't be able to use them?
168
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,999
- Precisely.
169
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,634
I know it's a big decision.
170
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:53,238
- Yeah, it is.
171
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:58,777
Maybe you should get back in
your box while I think it over.
172
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,245
Remember what shifu said.
173
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,646
- Trust me, po.
174
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,249
Nothing terrible
is going to happen,
175
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,651
Except maybe
that angry warthog
176
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:10,188
That's about to arrive
in a giant metal octopus.
177
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:14,459
- Ah!
178
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:17,562
- [laughs]
179
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,605
- Aah!
180
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,475
- [laughs]
181
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:35,080
- [grunts]
182
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,550
[groans]
183
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,552
- Ooh! A fight!
I love it!
184
00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,397
- Whoa!
- [screams]
185
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:54,366
- You missed him!
- I missed him?
186
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,301
Do you even know how to drive
this thing?
187
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,503
- I'm trying,
but the panda won't let me.
188
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:02,474
- Sure, blame him
for your lameness.
189
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:03,842
- Hmm-hmm.
- [grunts]
190
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:06,745
- Whoa!
- [humming]
191
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,648
- Ah!
- Hold it steady.
192
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:12,250
- One man's steady
is another man's freaking out.
193
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,385
- I'm trying.
194
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:15,520
- There is no try,
there is only--
195
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,923
Both: Can it!
196
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,624
[electricity crackles]
- whoo! [laughs]
197
00:09:22,261 --> 00:09:24,396
- One, two, three, four--
I got all five.
198
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:25,997
Let's go!
- [grunts]
199
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,432
Just a minute.
200
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,034
- Oh! Whoa!
201
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,835
Oomph!
202
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,338
[taotie laughs]
203
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,407
Bian zao: Ugh, what are you even
laughing at anyway?
204
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:38,109
[branch cracking]
- huh?
205
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:41,079
Whoa! Ow!
206
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,347
- Hmm.
207
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,883
- You know such amazing secret
kung fu stuff.
208
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,718
Why didn't you do anything?
209
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,422
- I was trying to decide
if this pebble is interesting.
210
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,524
- Well?
- Meh.
211
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:55,694
- Then could, you know,
you stop them?
212
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:59,130
Use that, uh, brainy-thinky
"spleen punch" thing, maybe?
213
00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,301
- Oh, all right.
214
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:09,975
Hmm.
215
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,310
I-I-I can't remember it!
216
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,312
The yangtze spleen punch!
217
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,048
I-I can't remember the secret
up here.
218
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,451
[gasps]
the five mystic secrets!
219
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:20,885
I've forgotten them all!
220
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,487
I don't love it!
221
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,289
- Whoa...Settle down.
222
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,926
- For 65 years,
my whole reason for existing
223
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:31,496
Has been to sit and ponder
the world's greatest secrets!
224
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:35,066
And now I've forgotten
the five most powerful ones!
225
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,969
Do you realize what this means?
226
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,106
[gasps]
I have no purpose!
227
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:46,344
[sobs]
228
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,981
- Wait, bian zao said,
"I got all five."
229
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,018
[gasps]
they stole your secrets!
230
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:55,320
- We gotta figure out how
we're gonna price these babies.
231
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:59,290
Okay, the five great
mystic secrets are...
232
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,426
The iron heart,
233
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:05,263
Which multiplies your strength
a thousandfold.
234
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:10,101
The clap of stillness
will freeze
235
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:13,605
Every nearby object in place.
236
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:17,809
Jin tian's tempest enables you
to shoot lightning bolts.
237
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,679
The yangtze spleen punch...
238
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,381
Let's you knock out anyone
within a hundred-yard radius
239
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,350
With your mind.
240
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:29,054
And the wings of light gives you
the ability to fly.
241
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,226
These secrets are incredible!
242
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,996
Once we auction them off, you
know how rich we're gonna be?
243
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,564
- Uh, filthy?
244
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:43,802
- Most definitely.
245
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,671
- Stop right there!
246
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,006
- Now?
247
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,641
But we were
actually connecting.
248
00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,309
- Uh, sorry?
249
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,645
- Eh, forget it.
The moment's passed.
250
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,180
[lever clicks]
251
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:58,083
- Ah!
252
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,984
[grunts]
253
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:03,655
Ah! Ah!
254
00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:04,689
Master yao!
255
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,925
I could use some help!
256
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,527
- [sighs]
why bother?
257
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,629
- Whoo! Ah!
258
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,666
Ah!
259
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,568
Maybe you forgot
a few secrets,
260
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,436
But you're still
a kung fu master!
261
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,773
Now come on!
262
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,715
- No.
Too depressed.
263
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:33,084
- But, master--ah!
264
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:36,755
[grunting]
265
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:38,590
Watch out!
266
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,292
[both shouting]
- ow!
267
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,695
- [grunts]
268
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:49,067
- You saved me.
Neat.
269
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:52,203
- Don't get so excited about--
aah!
270
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,707
Hey! You almost crushed
my lucky head.
271
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,942
It's on.
272
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:07,018
[slow motion yell]
273
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,655
- No! Ooh!
274
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,358
[screaming]
275
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,629
[both grunt]
276
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,000
[gulps]
277
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:27,172
- All right, taotie--
278
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:30,008
[screams]
279
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,076
Aah!
He's all strong.
280
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:34,646
The secrets
are in the cookies!
281
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,681
- [chomping, gulps]
282
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,484
I accidentally ate the mystic
secret of the iron heart.
283
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:40,685
Blegh!
284
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:43,188
It tasted all...Kung fu-ey.
285
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,690
- That was awesome.
286
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,258
- No, it wasn't.
287
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,593
Haven't you been listening
to me?
288
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:49,861
- Of course not.
289
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,429
- I've dedicated my life
290
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,665
To proving that machines
are better than muscles.
291
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:57,202
Being this strong
is just distasteful!
292
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,003
[grunts]
yah!
293
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,772
[screaming]
294
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,208
Of course, I'm nothing
if not adaptable.
295
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,044
[grunts]
296
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:09,280
Let's get to that auction.
297
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,015
- Hmm.
298
00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:15,620
- [sighs]
well, that's it.
299
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:16,888
We failed.
300
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,724
Nothing to do now
but plummet to our doom.
301
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:23,695
- Yeah...Not so much
into the plummeting.
302
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,397
- [sighs]
you're so closed-minded.
303
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,567
- I'm gonna get
your secrets back, master yao,
304
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,536
So you can have
your purposey life.
305
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,138
But first, we gotta get out
of this mess.
306
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,540
What do you say?
307
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,309
- [sighs]
sure. How?
308
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,544
- I don't know!
309
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,346
I was counting on you
to think of something.
310
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,481
Aah!
Kind of soon.
311
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,017
- I have an idea
that may or may not work,
312
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,019
But you probably won't like it.
313
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,587
- Sort of out
of other options here.
314
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,723
- Okay.
315
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,858
Hunan butt kick.
316
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:58,429
- [screams]
317
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,864
[thud]
318
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,266
See?
You were right.
319
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:02,600
I didn't like it.
320
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,202
- Woop-de-dingle-doo.
321
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,275
- Get this mystic secret
out of--oh!
322
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,510
[grunts]
323
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,280
Ugh.
324
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,748
- That was awesome.
325
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,449
- How well my device works?
326
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,118
- How much it hurts you.
327
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,719
Okay, we're all set
for the auction.
328
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,788
- Stop right there.
- [sighs]
329
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,857
You, like, just said that.
330
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:29,761
- How could you possibly
have found us?
331
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,562
[bamboo squeaks, snaps]
332
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,131
Oh.
333
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,566
- I would like
my secrets back now.
334
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:36,868
- You heard the master.
335
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,469
Now hand them over before--
336
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,072
Oh!
- Hey!
337
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:44,575
- Temutai! Hundun! Fung!
338
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,945
And, uh...
339
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,880
- [sighs]
gah-ri.
340
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:50,081
- Sorry.
[chuckles]
341
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,716
It's been a day.
342
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,218
- Well, I'm afraid there aren't
enough cookies for every--
343
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:55,420
- [grunts]
344
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:58,156
We get to bid
on the five great mystic secrets
345
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:01,793
And smash the dragon warrior
and master yao to furry pulps?
346
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,795
It is good to be alive!
347
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:10,969
- Ready to fight our way out
of this?
348
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:12,437
- You go ahead.
349
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:16,274
Without my secrets,
I'm useless.
350
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,343
- Yah! Rah!
351
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,113
Dragon warrior!
352
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,515
I will crush you
with the smashing crush
353
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,251
Of a thousand
painful smash-pains!
354
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:28,987
- "smash-pains"?
355
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,521
You know, it's like you're
not even trying anymore.
356
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,323
- Mmm.
Rah!
357
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,258
- Screaming phoenix flip!
- Ugh!
358
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:40,264
- [grunts]
359
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,169
- Whaaa!
360
00:16:46,805 --> 00:16:49,474
You're pretty good for
an old goat who lives in a box.
361
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:52,477
- I am unworthy of the gift
of existence.
362
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,779
- Whoa! You're kind of
a bummer, guy.
363
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:58,850
- Hiyah!
364
00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,318
- [grunts]
365
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,253
- Master yao!
- [grunts]
366
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:09,494
- [groans]
367
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,995
[gasps]
368
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,964
[strained grunts]
369
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:16,801
- This first cookie contains
the wings of light.
370
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:20,705
How much will you bid for
the ability to fly like a bird
371
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,307
But without those tedious
hollow bones?
372
00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:24,976
- 3 yuan.
- 5,000 yuan!
373
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:27,812
- 6,000 yuan!
374
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:30,148
- 4 yuan.
375
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,817
Or is it--wait.
How does this work again?
376
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,819
- Master yao, are you okay?
377
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,521
- [sighs]
as okay as anyone
378
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,590
Who has spectacularly failed
at their life's work.
379
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,025
- You haven't failed.
380
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,226
You just need a little help.
381
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,662
- From who?
Who will help me?
382
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,664
- Me.
If there's two things I know,
383
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,500
It's how to help folks
and how to get cookies.
384
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,436
- We're chained to these poles.
385
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:55,406
How can you possibly
reach them?
386
00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:59,877
Hunan butt kick!
- Whoa-ho!
387
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,612
- 20,000 yuan!
388
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:02,780
Both: Hmm.
389
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,082
- [grunts]
390
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,118
- Can I just buy, like,
a bite of cookie?
391
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,053
You know, not like, you know--
392
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,456
I don't need to fly around
or anything like that.
393
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,458
I just wanna jump good.
394
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,693
- [gasps]
395
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:16,928
- Aah!
396
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:20,398
[grunts]
397
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,168
[all grunting]
398
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,073
Ah-ah-ah-ah!
399
00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:31,375
[strained grunts]
400
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,643
Yaah!
401
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,378
Ha!
402
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,419
- No! Po!
403
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,221
The secrets are too powerful!
404
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:44,555
You're not ready!
405
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,390
- Ready as I'll ever be.
406
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:48,693
[all chomping, gulping]
407
00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:58,402
[large belch]
408
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,238
- I could smell that one.
- Get him!
409
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,340
- Wings of light!
410
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,277
[all grunting]
411
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,714
Oh, my gosh!
This is so awesome!
412
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:15,186
- Jin tian's tempest!
Aah!
413
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,787
Ah! Aah!
414
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,790
- Hmm. Oh!
[screams]
415
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,325
- Wow.
416
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,960
- Gah!
Get out of the way, gary!
417
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:24,762
I'm trying to use
the spleen punch.
418
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:28,799
- [humming, chuckles]
419
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,768
- [grunts]
420
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,640
- Like the strength
of a thousand rhinos
421
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:39,110
Multiplying my strength
by a thousand rhinos!
422
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:41,245
[grunts]
- aah!
423
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,651
- [screams]
424
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,787
[panting]
425
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,890
- [grunts]
- ugh!
426
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:55,726
[all groaning]
427
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:57,161
- Did you see that?
428
00:19:57,163 --> 00:20:00,364
Did you totally see that?
429
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,366
These mystic secrets are--
I--
430
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,302
I don't even have a word
for it!
431
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,370
Bodaciawesome!
432
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,739
- Thank you for helping me, po.
433
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,576
I think we've discovered
your life's purpose.
434
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:15,746
To possess the mystic secrets
and succeed me, yes?
435
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:21,819
- No, but by helping you,
I did learn what it is.
436
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,422
My life's purpose is to help
those that need help
437
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,924
And kick some bad guy tushie
in the process,
438
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:31,362
And I can't do that
from inside a box.
439
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:34,498
- You are very wise, po.
440
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,535
And in this case,
wiser than even I am.
441
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,870
- Oh, I don't know about that.
[chuckles]
442
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,706
What do you think, bian zao?
443
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,343
- Nowhere...Is where
I was going.
444
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,445
- I need you to use
your machine
445
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,747
And give master yao back
his secrets.
446
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,916
- And why should I--
[grunts]
447
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,753
[screams]
448
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,555
Aah! I'll do it!
I'll do it!
449
00:20:57,557 --> 00:21:00,524
[muttering incoherently]
450
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,299
- [groans]
just gotta--whew!
451
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:11,068
- We're here!
452
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,237
- Wait.
Where's the other master?
453
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:16,274
- I'm looking at him.
454
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,545
- Wait. What?
455
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:23,948
You set this whole thing up
just so I could realize
456
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,616
What my goal in life is?
457
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,585
- Well, let's just say yes.
458
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:29,787
Otherwise I kind of look
like a yutz.
459
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,157
- Fair enough.
460
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:36,394
- I am very grateful
to you, po.
461
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:39,130
Without you,
I never would have gotten
462
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:41,299
The five great mystic--
463
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,234
[gasps]
wait!
464
00:21:43,236 --> 00:21:45,403
I can only remember four
of the secrets!
465
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:46,637
- Four?
466
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,506
But I gave you five cookies,
didn't I?
467
00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:50,908
- I don't know!
It's dark in here!
468
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,443
[electricity crackles]
469
00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:56,213
- Definitely...Not lame.
31347
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