1 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,871 Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie 2 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:19,374 Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah 3 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:24,312 Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie 4 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,953 Louie, Louie, you're gonna cry 5 00:00:29,929 --> 00:00:33,558 Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie 6 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:38,094 Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah 7 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,936 Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie 8 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:47,402 Louie, Louie, you're gonna die 9 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,574 Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie 10 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,920 You know, I went to a doctor recently, he told me to eat slower. 11 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,817 And I was like, "Why eat slower?" 12 00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,426 And he said, "Because your body gets full... 13 00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,754 ...but that message that your body's full... 14 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:06,797 ...takes 20 minutes to travel from your stomach to your brain." 15 00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:10,959 It takes 20 minutes before you know that you've already been full for 20 minutes. 16 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:15,073 First of all, what a douche bag your body is... 17 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,975 ...that it takes 20 minutes. 18 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,510 What's taking 20 minutes to get--? 19 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:26,277 If I stub my toe, I know it immediately, and that's twice the distance. 20 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:30,685 What is this message doing that it's--? It, like, stops at my tit: 21 00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:33,291 "Hey, tit, what's up?" "Hanging out, what you doing?" 22 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,360 "I'm going to tell them that we're full." 23 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:39,658 "Get up there, you idiot. We're gonna get huge if you don't tell him." 24 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,461 "Oh, well, excuse me." 25 00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:45,695 Then he goes off, "I'm not going yet," and goes down to my asshole. 26 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:48,966 He's like, "Hey, asshole, what are you doing?" My asshole's like: 27 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,308 That's how my asshole talks. 28 00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,979 I-- I-- - My God, you did not just say that. 29 00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:02,284 No, I'm gonna go if you can. 30 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,352 Seriously. 31 00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:13,423 What? Hi, could you stop talking? 32 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,500 You're making it hard for me to do my job. 33 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:17,602 Oh, okay, sorry. 34 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:20,830 It's okay, you don't have to be sorry, just don't do it anymore. 35 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:24,272 Okay. Okay, thank you. 36 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,811 Anyway, holy shit. 37 00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:31,911 Always just gets me a little-- Sorry. 38 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,645 I was on a plane the other day and people on the plane-- 39 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,416 You know when you're on a plane on the tarmac and you can't get to the gate... 40 00:02:38,591 --> 00:02:40,286 ...because there's a plane at your gate? 41 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:42,257 That happened to Mike the other day. 42 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,030 Excuse me? No, my-- 43 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:48,964 Well, my-- Ha, ha. My friend, that happened to him too. 44 00:02:49,135 --> 00:02:50,159 I don't care. 45 00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:55,398 Well, no, my friend Mike-- Hey, nobody cares about your friend Mike. 46 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,566 Nobody cares about your friend Mike. Okay. 47 00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:00,406 Nobody cares about Mike. Okay, whatever, it was funny. 48 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,140 What was funny? Unlike you. Ha, ha. 49 00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:05,078 I'm sorry? 50 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,884 I said "unlike you." 51 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:11,785 It was funny, unlike me. Yes. Yes, I did. 52 00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:15,018 Can I ask you a question? Go ahead. 53 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,756 What happened to the parade? 54 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,690 What parade? 55 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,200 The parade of stupid **** you were a float in. 56 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,229 I'm just curious. 57 00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,738 Okay, that's not even funny. It's not? 58 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,843 No. Okay. 59 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:34,476 You sure? All right. 60 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:38,540 You're offensive. I'm offensive? 61 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,686 Yes. What do you mean? 62 00:03:40,853 --> 00:03:43,378 You're making jokes about rape, and that's offensive. 63 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:46,525 You don't like rape? No. 64 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:47,990 You don't? No. 65 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,221 That's really weird, because, you know, you wouldn't even exist... 66 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:54,389 ...if your mom hadn't raped that homeless Chinese guy. 67 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:55,992 Oh, my God. 68 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,502 However many years ago you were born. 69 00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:03,331 No, listen, I'm sorry. I'm really-- 70 00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:07,570 It's hard to come back from that. But I am sorry. I don't-- I didn't-- 71 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,374 I didn't mean that. 72 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:14,210 Look, can you do me a favor? 73 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,882 What? Can you please just die of AIDS? 74 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,116 Does anybody have AIDS who--? 75 00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:23,660 That could put their dick in her face and get her started on that? 76 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:27,357 Anybody? Oh, my God. I could like-- I could sue you. 77 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:28,830 What? You can sue me? Yeah. 78 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,333 You know who I'd like to sue? 79 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:33,666 Everybody that works in the hospital that you were born at... 80 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,603 ...because I would like to sue them... 81 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:40,235 ...for not responsibly pulling your head off the second.... 82 00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:44,816 Letting you live was medical malpractice. 83 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:46,843 Can't you just, like, move on? 84 00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,920 No, I can't. I really can't... 85 00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:52,023 ...because you're the worst thing that ever happened in America. 86 00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:57,060 You're-- Seriously, it goes you, slavery... 87 00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:01,924 ...and then Pearl Harbor and 9/11 combined. 88 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,159 Those are the three. 89 00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,133 And so, like, as an American... 90 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:09,036 ...I feel like it's my duty to make you feel poorly. 91 00:05:09,909 --> 00:05:12,070 And your mother's a whore. 92 00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,608 My mother's dead. Your mother's dead? 93 00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:16,305 Yeah. That's good. 94 00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,416 It is. It is. You know why? 95 00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:24,853 Because she can't make any more **** with her ****. 96 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,721 You did not just call me a C word. What's that? 97 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:32,331 Did you just call me a C word? No, I called you a ****. 98 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:36,366 Because you're a **** and your mother is one and she had one. 99 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,731 You know what? The moment you were being born... 100 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,736 ...there was a guy walking by, he said: 101 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:45,207 "Hey, look. Some **** coming out of some ****." 102 00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:55,278 I'm glad you stunk. 103 00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:58,720 Hey, man. That woman was a nightmare in there. 104 00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:01,052 The one who looked like the Fox News anchor? 105 00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:04,094 She will not stop. The whole night she's been yelling stuff? 106 00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:07,926 She wasn't aggressive at first, but she's getting encouraged and it's building. 107 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,898 Yeah, but, you know-- Yeah. 108 00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,798 I'm joking. 109 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:14,331 That was totally uncalled for. 110 00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,236 Actually, no, it wasn't. You were talking all night. 111 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:19,435 That's what happens. 112 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:23,343 Well, I was participating. I'm allowed to participate. 113 00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:26,144 Then why were you the only one participating? 114 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,254 Just think about that for a second. Why was it just you? 115 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:33,153 Because most people would never do that. Most people are polite... 116 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:37,228 ...and they'd rather cut off their hand than hurt a show by talking. 117 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,456 That's what-- A good person wouldn't do that. 118 00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:42,362 So you must be a bad person. No, I'm not. 119 00:06:43,369 --> 00:06:46,600 Yeah, I think you are. No, I'm a good person. 120 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,470 Why? Why do you think you're a good person? 121 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,701 I just am. I know I'm a good person... 122 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,779 ...and you have no right to talk to me like that. 123 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:58,110 Actually, I do. That's how that room works. I have a right to talk. 124 00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:01,879 I'm actually paid to talk in there and to say stuff and people laugh. 125 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,488 You're not supposed to say anything. It's a show. 126 00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,056 Oh, my God, get over yourself. 127 00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:08,693 People come to shows and talk, that's what they do. 128 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:12,388 And it's your job to put up with it or learn how to deal with it at least. 129 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:16,934 I mean, why are you being such a baby? Okay, look, let me ask you a question. 130 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,263 Do you like your life? 131 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,663 Yes. So? No, I'm sure you do. 132 00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,639 You're a student, you're happy, you have good days... 133 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,405 ...and you have full and fun nights, right? 134 00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:31,476 Yes. I'm not a loser like you. Yeah, see, that's the whole point. 135 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:34,449 You have a good life and it's just the way you want it to be. 136 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,181 These guys, comedians, me, these guys don't have a life. 137 00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:39,984 This is all they have. 138 00:07:40,159 --> 00:07:41,717 Their days are shit. 139 00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:45,261 They don't have many friends, they don't have families. They have this. 140 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:49,527 The only good part of their lives is the 15 minutes that they get to be on-stage. 141 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:52,102 Maybe once a week, sometimes once a month. 142 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:56,702 And you took that 15 minutes, the one-- Just picture this. 143 00:07:56,876 --> 00:08:00,243 The one 15 minutes that they would've had that they would have enjoyed... 144 00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:03,314 ...maybe for a long time, and you ruined it. 145 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,212 You took that away from them. 146 00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:10,685 I know you think it's cute, but it's not. It's really-- It's a rotten thing to do. 147 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:14,615 And I don't know how you can think you're a good person... 148 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,421 ...if you do things like that. 149 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:20,623 Honestly, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. I really do. 150 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:25,831 You have no right to make me feel like that. 151 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:31,566 I did nothing tonight, and you were just gross and insulting. 152 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:34,372 You're just one of those unattractive people... 153 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,209 ...who are totally bitter against people like me. 154 00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,873 That's right. 155 00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,852 That's right. You're right. That's what happened. 156 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,285 That's exactly what happened. Thank you very much. 157 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:47,324 Good night. Good night. Good night. 158 00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:54,999 Man, you had a shot up till you did that last thing. 159 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:59,236 You think? Yeah, you could have turned that around. 160 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:01,339 Shit. - She was about to feel bad. 161 00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:03,771 You could be going to get a drink with her now. 162 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,706 She'd probably pay for the drink too. 163 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:07,974 Shit. 164 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,913 Hey, Laurie. Hey, you here to see Simon? 165 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,284 Yeah, he asked me to come. 166 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,358 Okay, he's finishing up a conference call. 167 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:24,018 Do you wanna sit for a minute? Sure. 168 00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:27,524 You know, we never see you here. 169 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:31,033 Oh, yeah, well, I don't go out for the acting much anymore. 170 00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:34,297 Oh, how come? I don't know, I'm not a good actor. 171 00:09:34,473 --> 00:09:37,806 Oh, don't say that. No, it's okay, I'm just not good at it. 172 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,476 That's really neg. 173 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,570 What? It's really negative. 174 00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:45,917 Oh, I didn't know because you only used the first three letters. 175 00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,110 Yeah, I just think you have to go for it. 176 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,414 How do you know you're not the next Tom Cruise? 177 00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:55,226 Because I just hate it, standing there in fake clothes and acting. 178 00:09:55,394 --> 00:09:56,827 It just feels stupid. 179 00:09:57,096 --> 00:10:00,588 Yeah, but if that's your dream-- See, it's not my dream though, Laurie. 180 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:04,930 To be an actor, the odds are so low that-- 181 00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:09,473 It's like saying, "I'm gonna be a cartoon dog with a jetpack." 182 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,166 That's what I'm gonna do. 183 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,177 I mean, that has just gotta be the dumbest... 184 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:19,649 ...most irresponsible, stupid, stupid thing to wanna be an actor. 185 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,713 I'm trying to be an actor. 186 00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,662 Yes, he's here. 187 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,092 You can go in. 188 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,401 Listen, I, uh-- 189 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,206 I didn't.... 190 00:10:47,713 --> 00:10:50,944 I didn't-- I meant that, um.... 191 00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:56,452 You know, I just meant good luck, you know? I mean.... 192 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,127 Hi, hi, hi. Hey, Simon. 193 00:11:03,295 --> 00:11:05,763 For crying out loud, how are you? I'm okay. 194 00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,091 Hi. Hey. 195 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:11,134 Long time no see. I know, I just haven't been around. 196 00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:15,137 Listen, sit down, because I got incredible news. 197 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:18,834 Yeah? Louie. Louie. 198 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:25,311 Hey, Simon. I got you a part in The Godfather. 199 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,817 You mean another sequel? No, no, no. 200 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:33,391 Somebody bought the rights again and they're making another Godfather... 201 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:38,656 ...but it's set two years into the future and it's all Jews. 202 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:39,957 Oh, my God. 203 00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:43,329 I know, and I got you a part in it. 204 00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:46,403 I got you a part. Heh, heh. 205 00:11:46,572 --> 00:11:49,769 Listen, Simon-- Yeah, yeah, I know you. 206 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:53,400 No auditions, no acting. 207 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:56,980 But this, you don't even have to read for it. 208 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:58,343 You know what happened? 209 00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:03,921 Matthew Broderick, who is starring and directing in this... 210 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,751 ...he saw you on television. 211 00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:09,361 And he personally called and wanted you to have this part. 212 00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:13,726 You play a cop, you're in about five scenes... 213 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,026 ...and they're all about your character. 214 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,363 It's huge. 215 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:22,367 Listen, Simon, I appreciate-- You're not saying no to this. 216 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:23,940 Well-- You're not. 217 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:28,240 This is not a no. I told them you're doing it. 218 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,813 I said yes! 219 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,950 Well, you may have to call them back. No. 220 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,983 You call them back. You're doing it. 221 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:38,021 Simon-- You're doing it! 222 00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,592 Listen, Simon-- You're doing it! 223 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,525 Simon, look, I-- 224 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,961 I came to you because I'm a comedian. 225 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:50,625 Everybody tells you if you're on-stage, you should also try to be in movies. 226 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:55,103 And, you know, I appreciate everything you've done for me. 227 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,209 You've been great, and you got me that Martin Lawrence movie. 228 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,010 Simon? 229 00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:02,477 Simon? 230 00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,081 Simon? 231 00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:17,224 Oh, Louie. 232 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:19,125 Hey, Joan, I'm sorry. 233 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:23,428 He loved you. You were his favorite client. 234 00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:24,660 Really? 235 00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:28,930 Sorry. 236 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,477 Hey, Laurie. 237 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,883 Are you gonna take that part in The Godfather? 238 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:44,579 I don't know. 239 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,987 He was so happy he got that for you. 240 00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:49,485 You should do it. For him. 241 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:53,189 Okay. I'll see you later, okay? 242 00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,200 Like this? 243 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:06,508 So, Matthew, this is Louie C. K. Hi. 244 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,840 Oh, hi, hi. Nice to meet you. 245 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,914 How you doing? Good. Thank you for-- 246 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:14,883 Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw you on one of those late-night shows. You're really funny. 247 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,078 Thanks. Thank you. 248 00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:19,986 This isn't funny, but I had an idea that you'd be good at it. 249 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:22,551 Thank you. 250 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,993 You excited? Sure. Yeah. 251 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:28,224 It's great. 252 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:33,160 Am I--? Can I just ask you a question? Am I one of the--? Am I one of the Jews? 253 00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:34,872 What? 254 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:39,040 Am I--? Am I one of the--? I'll see you out there. 255 00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,405 Okay. 256 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,979 I thought it was all Jews. 257 00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,186 You-- You can't go in there. 258 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,851 Where's my father? Your father is dead. 259 00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:02,897 Is that seriously how you're gonna say it? What? 260 00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:06,964 Cut, cut. Uh-- - Cut it. 261 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,265 Sorry. 262 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,536 No, well, look. Look, you're telling me that my father is dead. 263 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,475 Well, how do you tell somebody something like that? 264 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,878 Pretend my father's dead. 265 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:21,685 Your fa--? Your father or the character's father? 266 00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:23,685 Is your father dead? Let's try again. 267 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,654 Okay, I'm really sorry. It's okay, don't say you're sorry. 268 00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,486 Okay, okay. It's okay. 269 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,062 Okay, let's go again. We'll go again. Okay? I'm sorry. 270 00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:38,629 You can't go in there. 271 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:40,062 Where's my father? 272 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:42,340 Your father is dead. 273 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:51,807 What the hell is that? 274 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,579 What? That face. 275 00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,482 I didn't-- Cut. 276 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:59,522 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No, cut. It's okay. 277 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:02,126 I thought it was the way I said "your father's dead." 278 00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,592 No, let's just go again. We'll go again. Okay. 279 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,925 You can't go in there. 280 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:11,558 Where's my father? Oh, your father's dead. 281 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,562 Oh, cut. 282 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:16,469 I'm sorry, what did--? That wasn't good either? 283 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,471 You can't go in. Where's my father? 284 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,876 He's dead. Well-- Uh-- Oh. Oh. 285 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,016 I forgot to say it was your father. Yeah. 286 00:16:25,184 --> 00:16:27,982 You don't know who I'm talking about. Okay, I'll do it again. 287 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,347 You can't go in there. 288 00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:32,513 Where's my father? Your father's dead. 289 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,818 Where's my father? Your father is dead. 290 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,456 That wasn't good, right? No. 291 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,728 I have to imagine your father's dead? 292 00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:43,732 Yeah, right, you're telling somebody his father's dead. 293 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:46,769 That's why you say, "Your father's dead." 294 00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:49,797 Your father's dead. 295 00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:54,044 I don't know anybody whose father died that I was to tell them. 296 00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:56,147 Right. I never did that before. 297 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,447 You can't go in there. 298 00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:02,781 Where's my father? Your father's dead. 299 00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:26,377 Do you--? How do you get--? Do you take the train here or--? 300 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:27,637 Uh.... 301 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,110 We'll go again. Okay. 302 00:17:29,281 --> 00:17:30,612 Are you--? 303 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,581 No, I think-- We'll go again. We'll go again. 304 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,422 Hey. Hey. 305 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:50,363 Hey, I'm really sorry about how it's going. 306 00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:54,233 That's okay. So, what is it, are you nervous? 307 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,340 Not really. 308 00:17:56,508 --> 00:17:57,770 What then? 309 00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:03,413 I just don't like acting. I'm not good at it and I don't like it. 310 00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:07,083 Look, uh.... 311 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,187 Look, maybe you don't like acting, that's not my business. 312 00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:12,380 But try and respect other people's work. 313 00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,423 We're gonna move on and we'll come back and shoot your scene. 314 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:20,497 Why don't you take a walk and try to find it in yourself to give a shit? 315 00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,764 Comedian. 316 00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:48,986 Your father is dead. 317 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,632 You just can't charge whatever you want for things. 318 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:02,206 Last week, this can of soup was a dollar-thirty, now you're asking $2. 319 00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:04,569 What, do you make it up as you go along? 320 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:07,837 Hey, do you have cakey, doughnuty treat things? 321 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,503 Yeah, in the back. Thank you. 322 00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:12,172 This is supposed to be a business with set prices. 323 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,615 You know what? I think I'm gonna have dinner out. 324 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:17,687 Forget that. I don't want that soup anyway, it's too expensive. 325 00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:20,757 And, oh, I would like a plastic bag because I have a lot of garbage. 326 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:25,296 What's the matter, pal? - You mind? Give me a plastic bag. 327 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:26,897 What you doing? 328 00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:38,132 I don't understand. Please explain it to me. 329 00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:41,746 Why would you charge a fat man more money than you would pretty girls? 330 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,612 I'm gonna do all my business elsewhere. I'm going to the big supermarket. 331 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,781 You know, you can phone them. They deliver. 332 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,427 Of course you have to buy a lot. 333 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,859 So pack it all up. Give me a lot of plastic bags. 334 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,397 I use them for garbage and all that sort of-- 335 00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:05,003 Don't move, man. Give us the cash. Give us the cash. 336 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,728 Help. 337 00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:09,663 Oh, shit. 338 00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,570 Do something. 339 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,445 Drop it! 340 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,490 Oh, Jesus. 341 00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:28,319 Oh, shit. 342 00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:30,256 They don't give you guys real guns? 343 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:35,622 Yo, yo, shoot that bitch. Mama! 344 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:37,600 Hurry up, man, shoot him. 345 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:41,067 Mine ain't real either. 346 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,537 What? 347 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:45,268 It's my little brother's, man. It's a toy. 348 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,469 Why are you still pointing it? Why--? 349 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:50,338 Everybody knows it's fake. Put the gun away, man. 350 00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:53,882 Oh, my God, you get out of here. - Shit. 351 00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,247 Get out of here. - Shit. 352 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,857 Some help you were. Lousy cop. 353 00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,891 Sorry, I-- 354 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:09,091 I'll pay for this. I already ate half of it. 355 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:18,008 Do it like this, when-- Just say it. 356 00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:21,236 Instead of, like, exclaiming it, just say it. Go ahead. 357 00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,005 Oh, my God. That was great. 358 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:26,116 Was that real? Did you believe it? Yeah, that was good. 359 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,516 Say it-- Say it-- Instead of at me, say it to yourself this time. 360 00:21:29,688 --> 00:21:31,485 The same way, just declare, saying it. 361 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:34,091 Go ahead. Oh, my God. 362 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,159 That's pretty good. 363 00:21:37,896 --> 00:21:40,558 It's getting there. It's getting there. 364 00:21:41,366 --> 00:21:43,732 I have all night, so.... Yeah? Okay. 365 00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:47,201 You know what? I'm really-- All right, you know what? I'm sorry.