1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,739
Kids, I've told you stories
about all the big holidays:

2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,735
Christmas...

3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,207
Halloween...

4
00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:11,446
Thanksgiving...

5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:15,322
but one holiday was always
my favorite-- Super Bowl Sunday.

6
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:18,193
And there was one Super Bowl
back in 2007

7
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:20,222
that I will never forget.

8
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:21,258
Marshall, you're on beer detail.

9
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:22,922
Lily, you're making
the bean dip.

10
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:26,190
Uh, Robin, you're on chips
and pretzels, and Barney,

11
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,400
I'm giving you nothing to do
so you can just focus

12
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,732
on controlling
your gambling problem.

13
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,667
(scoffs):
"Problem."

14
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,002
Oh, poor Superman,

15
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:36,437
he should really do something
about his flying problem.

16
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,244
It's not a problem if
you're awesome at it.

17
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,377
And I will be going
to Quinn's to pick up

18
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,542
the world's greatest food,

19
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,580
the Super Bowl
Hot Wings Platter.

20
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,145
If I were a chicken,

21
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,924
I'd go cannibal
for those bad boys.

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00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,551
Just eat my own
damn wing off.

23
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,517
I don't care.
I'm crazy like that.

24
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,260
Here's the info
for tomorrow night.

25
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,362
What's tomorrow night?

26
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,663
Oh, God, you didn't hear?

27
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,532
Mark died.

28
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,298
Oh...
Oh, my God.

29
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,233
The funeral's tomorrow at 6:00,

30
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and I know it would have meant
a lot to Mark if you came.

31
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You guys were
his favorite customers.

32
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,437
Stay strong.
Oh, wow.

33
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Sorry.
We're so sorry.
Our condolences.

34
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,078
Oh...

35
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,553
Who was Mark?

36
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,711
BARNEY:
No idea.

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MARSHALL:
Not a clue.

38
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Well, I guess
we should go, right?

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MARSHALL:
Wait...

40
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,856
tomorrow night at 6:00,
that's the Super Bowl.

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Okay, I feel terrible,

42
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,264
but the truth is
we didn't know Mike.

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Mark.
Mark, and as long
as we send flowers,

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I can't think of any reason
we'd have to go.

45
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,830
Get out of here!

46
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:42,569
I never want to see your
face in this bar again!

47
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,274
This soulless bastard

48
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just told me he can't
come to Mark's funeral

49
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because he wants
to watch the Super Bowl.

50
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,580
Could you believe that?

51
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,323
You guys are coming, right?

52
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:56,582
Yes...
Wouldn't miss it
for the world.
Oh, yeah.

53
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:12,999
Okay, here's the plan.

54
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,566
Record the game,
go to the funeral

55
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,795
pay our respects to Matt...
Mark.

56
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,840
Mark, and start watching
only an hour late.

57
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:23,377
Okay, that's great, but just
to make sure it records,

58
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,554
maybe we should bow our heads

59
00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,252
and say a quiet prayer
to the TiVo gods.

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00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:31,349
Almighty TiVo,

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00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:33,849
we thank you for all
the gifts you have given us:

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the power to freeze
live TV to go take a leak

63
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:38,364
is nothing short of Godlike.

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00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:42,326
Let's not forget fast-
forwarding through commercials.

65
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,496
It seems greedy to ask
anything more from you,

66
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,295
O magic box,

67
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:50,237
but if you malfunction
and miss the Super Bowl,

68
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,014
we will destroy you in the
alley with baseball bats.

69
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,613
BOTH:
Amen.

70
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,535
We are not fast-forwarding
through the commercials.

71
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,980
Yeah, they're
the best part.

72
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,745
Oh, come on.
Remember last year?

73
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,653
Who wants to watch a monkey
in a coconut bra order a pizza?

74
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:03,846
(both laughing)

75
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,347
I loved that
commercial.

76
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,619
That's my last bet.

77
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,287
Seriously, that's
the last time

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00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,516
I'm gonna call
you today.

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Okay.

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Good-bye.

81
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,233
You didn't hang up either!

82
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,796
I know! You hang up!

83
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:19,274
You hang up!
(laughs)

84
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,570
My bookie. Great guy.

85
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,235
So let me get this
straight.

86
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:25,244
A funeral is the one
time you don't suit up?

87
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,136
Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Virtually.

88
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Suits are full of joy.

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They're the sartorial equivalent
of a baby's smile.

90
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"Sartorial"?

91
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,275
"Of or pertaining

92
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,590
to tailors or their trade."

93
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,291
Suits are for
the living.

94
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,123
That's why when
it's my time to R.I.P.

95
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,988
I'm going out of this world
the same way I came into it--

96
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buck naked. Yeah.

97
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,733
It's gonna be awesome.

98
00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,904
Open bar for the guys,
open casket for the ladies.

99
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,403
* What up?! *

100
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,737
(both chuckling)

101
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,588
ALL:
Oh...!

102
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,994
(sadly):
Oh...

103
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,934
Such a waste.

104
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,338
I know.
He was so young.

105
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A hand-stitched, cashmere,

106
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double-breasted
Dolce and Gabbana.

107
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,111
It must be so frightened.

108
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,583
This is going faster
than I thought.

109
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,642
We'll make an appearance
at the bar for the wake,

110
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,910
we'll be watching
the game by 8:00.

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00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,809
And even though
we didn't see any whales,

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Mark and I both said

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it was the best day
of our lives.

114
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Hmm.
Hmm.

115
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,819
Okay, I'm getting us
another round.

116
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,018
And when I come back,

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00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:52,129
everyone else is telling
their favorite Mark story.

118
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,502
Oh...

119
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,833
Dibs on the one
Carl just told.

120
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,828
Okay, I have to be
at work exactly

121
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,141
one Super Bowl from now.

122
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,542
Oh, let's face it, we're not
going to get to watch it.

123
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,765
We should just find out
the score.

124
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Oh, thank God!
I'll find out.

125
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No, no, no, we can't!

126
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,306
We have to watch
the game together.

127
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It's tradition.

128
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:13,975
Think of all the great times
we've had watching this game.

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00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,377
Second down, everyone drink.

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Ted, it's not a drinking game

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if you drink anytime
anything happens.

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Are these chicken wings
or angel wings?

133
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God, I love these things.

134
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I love you guys.

135
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,629
This is so great,

136
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,967
all of us watching
the Super Bowl together.

137
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This is special.

138
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We need to do this
every year-- promise me!

139
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,808
Calm down, buddy.

140
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,112
Oh, commercials!

141
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,214
Everyone drink!

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(all groan)

143
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:47,212
God, this is such
a great tradition,

144
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,980
all of us watching
the game together.

145
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,549
How did this start?

146
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,718
Hey, Barney,
I bet you 20 bucks

147
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,316
that Casey misses
this field goal.

148
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,518
I don't bet.
Betting's for suckers.

149
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,489
Make it like a dollar
or something, you know.

150
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,188
Who cares? No big deal.

151
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,429
Fine.

152
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,564
(all groan)

153
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,229
See, there you go,
he made it.

154
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:04,356
You win.

155
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:07,602
Wait. This is mine,
just like that?

156
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,738
God, that feels good.

157
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,213
No, that feels really... good.

158
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:13,742
What else can we bet on?

159
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,807
Nothing, it's the halftime show.

160
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:17,777
Oh, so lame.

161
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,705
Nobody even pays
attention.

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00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:23,451
I mean, Janet Jackson,
who cares?

163
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,488
(whispering):
God, how cool is Robin?

164
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I can't believe you invited

165
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this girl we've only known

166
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,562
for a few months
to our sacred day.

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Now she's gonna be
in all the pictures.

168
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,503
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll give you the Seahawks

169
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,765
plus six points for 500 bucks.

170
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,132
Are you crazy? Maybe for $50.

171
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,071
$50?! What fun is $50?!

172
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:46,366
Why don't we just bet air?!
God, Marshall!

173
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,610
Okay, $50.

174
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:48,735
Hey, I'll take
that action.

175
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,309
Seahawks, but make
it four points

176
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,647
and make it a grand.

177
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,082
Hey, these wings, are they
chicken wings or angel wings?

178
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,277
Oh, commercials!

179
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,018
Monkey with a coconut bra.
Hilarious.

180
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,057
Look, we always watch
the Super Bowl together.

181
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,992
So we make a pact
to watch it tomorrow at 6:00

182
00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,628
and go the next 18 hours
without finding out who won.

183
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,125
That's impossible.

184
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:10,496
I'm not gonna lie to you.

185
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:11,434
It's not gonna be easy.

186
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:14,029
That means no TV,
no Internet,

187
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,101
no newspapers, nothing.

188
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,399
Media blackout.

189
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,571
But our tradition lives on.

190
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,070
Who's in?

191
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,681
I'm in.

192
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,013
I'm in.
I'm in.

193
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,107
What the hell, I'm in.
High five!

194
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,519
Dude, we're at a wake.

195
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,921
Sorry. Solemn low five.

196
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:36,863
As the day began,

197
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,934
none of us had any idea
how hard it would be

198
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,562
to go nine hours
without hearing the outcome

199
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,128
of the Super Bowl.

200
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,425
I decided to work from home
to avoid contamination

201
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,928
by the outside world.

202
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,799
(nervous exclaiming)

203
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,544
Hey, take this
key and swallow it.

204
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:54,607
What? No.

205
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,875
Come on, Ted, you eat salads.

206
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,283
It'll be out by game time.

207
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,584
Lots more, no.

208
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:01,207
I'm not messing around,
Theodore.

209
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,621
I've got a lot of money
riding on this game.

210
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,454
If I don't handcuff myself
to this radiator,

211
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,489
I'll check the score.

212
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,454
Please take the key.

213
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,961
Fine.

214
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:09,962
But only because

215
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,633
you didn't think through
a bathroom plan

216
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,192
and I think that's funny.

217
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,695
(groans)

218
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,504
The media blackout
was particularly hard on Robin

219
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,972
because, well,
she was the media.

220
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,540
But unfortunately,
the City won't be fixing

221
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,010
the unusually large
pothole anytime soon,

222
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,549
so buckle up
if you're on the BQE.

223
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,615
It's gonna be a bumpy one.

224
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,694
Like morning commutes
needed to get any harder.

225
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,652
You're right, Kevin.

226
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,321
Well, Robin, what
do you say?

227
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:43,919
I think it's time
to check in

228
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,291
with Sid for
a sports update.

229
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,288
No!

230
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,629
What?
No.

231
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,997
But it's, uh,
time for Sports.

232
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,595
No, it's not.

233
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,137
It's time for Weather.

234
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,613
We, we just did Weather.

235
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,211
Well, weather's
pretty fickle,

236
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,943
it may have changed.

237
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,539
What's it doing out there, Lou?

238
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,719
Pretty much the same thing
it was two minutes ago.

239
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,622
Back to you, Robin.

240
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:16,416
Okay, now it's
time for Sports.

241
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,529
No! Let's go
to Traffic Todd

242
00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:20,833
in the Metro News 1
Gridlock Chopper

243
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,164
Robin, it's time
for Sports!

244
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,936
Over to you, Sid.

245
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:31,541
(hesitatingly):
Thank you, Kevin
and Robin.

246
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:34,305
Let's talk about the Super Bowl.

247
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,944
Weeks earlier,
Marshall had promised Lily

248
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,980
he'd come into her kindergarten
class for show-and-tell day.

249
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,017
And he's a little bit
double-jointed...

250
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,282
Ah?

251
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,720
and his favorite
animal

252
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,445
is the Loch Ness monster.

253
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,859
Lily, how many times...?

254
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,821
Nessie is a
gentle creature.

255
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,260
We're trying to stay away
from terms like "Monster."

256
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,855
Well, I think

257
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,727
we can all agree, he
is much more interesting

258
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,497
than Sally's
one-eyed goldfish.

259
00:09:58,565 --> 00:09:59,665
Three weeks in a row?

260
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,933
Come on, Sally.

261
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,635
Okay, well, that's
all the time we have.

262
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,305
Arts and crafts, everybody.

263
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:10,706
Hey.
Hey.

264
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:11,808
I'm Doug.

265
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,819
Oh, hey, I'm Marshall.

266
00:10:14,882 --> 00:10:18,552
Are you going to be staying
here for the rest of day?

267
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,518
Yeah, I'm actually trying
to hide out

268
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,087
'cause I don't want to know
who won the Super Bowl.

269
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,956
I know who won.

270
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,725
Oh, um, that's great,
but I really don't want to know,

271
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,725
so if you could just
keep that to yourself.

272
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:33,327
How badly do you
not want to know?

273
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,700
Excuse me?

274
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,569
Ten bucks.

275
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,467
Are you serious?

276
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,809
Just went up to eight.

277
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:43,976
Unlock me, Ted.

278
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:44,984
I've never gone this long

279
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,175
without calling my bookie.

280
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,816
He worries.

281
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,482
Not until game time.

282
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,621
Where are you going?

283
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,616
Pick up the hot wings.

284
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:54,887
What?

285
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,885
How the hell are you
planning on getting

286
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,327
in and out of a sports bar
without seeing the score?

287
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,462
There's TVs everywhere.

288
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,697
Ah, don't worry.

289
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,102
I got it all planned out.

290
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:03,933
First of all:

291
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,867
I placed duct tape

292
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,103
on a pair of sunglasses

293
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,267
so I can only see
out of two tiny holes.

294
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:13,236
Next, I constructed blinders
out of an old cereal box.

295
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,236
Top it all off: high-tech
noise-reducing headphones

296
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,309
I bought when Marshall and Lily
first got back together

297
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:19,378
and were doing it a lot.

298
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:22,946
I call it
the Sensory Deprivator 5000.

299
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,788
Sorry.

300
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:28,323
(TV newscast playing)

301
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,018
(breathy silence)

302
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,136
(loud):
Hello! Uh, my name
is Ted Mosby.

303
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,478
I'm here to pick up
my hot wings.

304
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,253
In my hand, you'll find
the exact total for the wings

305
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,953
plus a generous tip.

306
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,445
Please take the cash.

307
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:57,916
Put the wings in my hand

308
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:59,915
(low, distant):
and I'll be on my way.

309
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:02,794
Thank you!

310
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,500
And that closes the book
on one heck of a Super Bowl.

311
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,104
Back to you, Kevin and Robin.

312
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,166
La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la...

313
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,637
We'll be right back.

314
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:21,266
(news theme plays)

315
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,581
And we're clear.

316
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:23,842
I'm sorry.

317
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,411
Um, Robin, is it just me,

318
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,908
or were you doing something
different there?

319
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,950
I haven't watched
the game yet.

320
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,576
I'm begging you, for
the rest of the newscast

321
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,020
there can't be any references
to who won the Super Bowl.

322
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,886
I mean, change
the teleprompter.

323
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,615
No team names,
nothing specific.

324
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,029
That is crazy.
I can't do that.

325
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,901
(cries):
My friend Mark
passed away this week.

326
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,903
(crying)
Okay, sweetie, okay.

327
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:45,865
Okay, I'm so sorry.

328
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:46,903
Back in five...

329
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,137
four...
Oh, I know.

330
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,271
three...
It's just so hard.

331
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,737
(news theme plays)

332
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:54,505
(groans)

333
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,126
(sighs)

334
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,397
Ha!

335
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,495
Who's the idiot now?!

336
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,897
You said the Sensory Deprivator
5000 was stupid.

337
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,411
But it totally worked!

338
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,282
I couldn't see or hear anything
happening around.

339
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,441
Right?! Right?!

340
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,448
No...!

341
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,183
Oh!

342
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,418
And if that weren't bad enough,

343
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,523
I was about to have
a horrible realization.

344
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,645
Where's the dipping sauce?

345
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,990
(ominous chord plays)

346
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,127
The team that won,

347
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,862
want to know what
their name rhymes with?

348
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,857
Come on, dude.
You promised you'd stop

349
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,899
if I ate all those crayons.

350
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,174
Why are you doing this?

351
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,673
I'm in love Miss Aldrin.

352
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,565
Well, you can't have
Miss Aldrin, she's mine.

353
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,110
(figure shattering)

354
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:10,451
Okay, now who did this?

355
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,317
I did.

356
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,159
Does that mean

357
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:18,864
Marshall gets a time-out?

358
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:22,456
Well, Marshall's
a grown-up, so...

359
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,069
When one of us breaks something,
we get a time-out.

360
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,040
Sorry.

361
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,078
And after the Super Bowl,

362
00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,984
the mayor of the losing team's
city had to pay up,

363
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,047
sending the mayor of
the winning team's city

364
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:46,115
15 pounds of a delicacy
his or her city is famous for.

365
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:49,856
Better fire up whatever type
of grill, steamer or fryer

366
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:54,963
one might use to cook that
delicacy, Winning Team's Mayor.

367
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,628
(fierce whisper):
Hey.

368
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,030
Hey.

369
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,698
I'm not talking to you.

370
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:00,766
Yes, you are.

371
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,643
You'll do whatever I say.

372
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:03,772
Hold your breath.

373
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,706
I'm not holding
my breath.

374
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:06,912
The winning team was the...

375
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,284
(inhales deeply)

376
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,441
Now here's how this
is going to work:

377
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:13,580
you're going to take me to
three R-rated movies a week...

378
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,676
And then Uncle Marshall
got an idea.

379
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,248
It was not one he was proud of
in retrospect,

380
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,988
but desperate times...

381
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,830
Oh, no.

382
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,602
Somebody wet their pants.

383
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,601
No, I didn't.

384
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:30,662
Oh, really?

385
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,760
Who's everyone gonna believe?

386
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,871
I'm a grown-up third-year
law student at Columbia

387
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,343
and you're just
a little pants wetter.

388
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,872
So now I ask you
a question:

389
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,736
You want to be able
to quietly sneak off

390
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,065
to the restroom and dry off

391
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,380
or am I gonna have something
for show and tell today?

392
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,480
Hey, everyone...

393
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,554
Okay, okay.

394
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:46,712
You win.

395
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,949
I want my money back.

396
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,945
And your pudding snack pack.

397
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,629
Sir, who won
the Super Bowl?

398
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,364
Sorry.
I missed the game.

399
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,700
You missed...?!
How could he miss...?

400
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:05,804
Excuse me!

401
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:06,825
Who won the Super Bowl?!

402
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,769
I... don't really
follow sports.

403
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,335
Oh, my...!

404
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,511
Emmitt Smith!

405
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,043
Oh, thank God.

406
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,238
Yeah, I get that a lot.

407
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,980
You got to tell me,
who won the Super Bowl?

408
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:22,276
The game was last night?

409
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,779
You know, once you win
two or three of those things,

410
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,121
it's kind of like, eh.

411
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,487
But you're Emmitt Smith.

412
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,285
You're a football player,
it's Super Bowl Sunday.

413
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,987
What could possibly be more
important than football?!

414
00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:37,201
Dance, my friend. Dance.

415
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:44,542
No...!

416
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,638
(breathy silence)

417
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,394
(shouts):
Hello! It's me again.

418
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,816
Oh!

419
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,461
I didn't recognize you.

420
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:09,196
Yeah, you forgot to give me
the dipping sauce!

421
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:14,726
Ah.

422
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:15,841
Yes.

423
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:16,902
This is the one.

424
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,339
It was 4:00,

425
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:21,105
and so far, all of us
had done the impossible.

426
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,714
But then,
almost simultaneously,

427
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,506
things started to go wrong.

428
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,548
And let's end the day
on a happy note.

429
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,854
There is a new arrival
at the Bronx Zoo.

430
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:31,746
Trish Sanchez has the story.

431
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,590
(radio newscast plays)

432
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,096
Hey, buddy.
Hey, dude, look out.

433
00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:46,395
(breathy silence)

434
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,770
And in honor of yesterday's
big win...

435
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,913
(stations changing)

436
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:57,342
...let him take over the game
and have a 160-yard...

437
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,549
Hey, buddy, look out.
Dude, watch out!

438
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,453
...the zoo decided to name
the baby panda

439
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,518
after Super Bowl champions...

440
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,457
No...!

441
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,532
No...!

442
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,532
No...!

443
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,375
Yes...!

444
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,750
Awesome. Just in time
for kick-off.

445
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,254
None of you guys found out
the score, right?

446
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,246
Mission accomplished.
No.
Didn't find out.

447
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,488
Great. Let's do it.

448
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,392
I already fast-forwarded
through the four hours

449
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,964
of pre-game coverage.

450
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,362
So we are ready.

451
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,061
Barney,

452
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,285
I can't even look at you.

453
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,900
I don't want any sign
of who won.

454
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,961
Don't worry, I'm not going
to give anything away.

455
00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,200
Feel free to start without me.

456
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,001
(door closes)
Ah...!

457
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,068
Stupid!

458
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,336
Stupid! Stupid!

459
00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,435
So much money! You
screwed it up, Barney!

460
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,737
You screwed everything up!

461
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,408
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

462
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:05,911
(calm):
Okay, let's watch the game.

463
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,448
Barney, what
the hell was that?

464
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,824
We know who you bet on.

465
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,581
Now you've ruined
the game for everyone.

466
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,491
Yeah.

467
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,292
Thanks a lot,
Barney.

468
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,464
Way to blow it.

469
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,362
Yeah, I didn't know
and now I do know.

470
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,855
There's no point in
even watching the game.

471
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,870
Well, at least the
commercials aren't ruined.

472
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,637
Wings are still good.

473
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,605
Beer still works.

474
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,076
Ah, what the hell.

475
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:40,454
Let's watch Barney
lose some money.

476
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:43,445
Hey, so check this out:

477
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,986
I got extorted by
a five-year-old today.

478
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,152
I almost got
fired today.

479
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:49,691
I met Emmitt Smith today.

480
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,756
Ooh, you go first.

481
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,063
I tried out the Sensory
Deprivator 5000.

482
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,755
Yeah, go ahead,
Barney.

483
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,497
Well, I was frantically
running down the street

484
00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,234
trying to find out
the score to the game...

485
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,669
And here's the funny part,

486
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:03,473
as unforgettable
as that Super Bowl was,

487
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:06,706
here it is 23 years later
and I don't remember who won...

488
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:07,873
(cheering)

489
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,810
Hell, I don't even remember
who played.

490
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,976
What I do remember
is that we drank beer,

491
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,984
we ate wings and we watched
the Super Bowl together.

492
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,117
(cheering)

493
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,393
Because sometimes,
even if you know

494
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,822
how something's going to end,

495
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,387
that doesn't mean
you can't enjoy the ride.

496
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,026
We even raised a toast
to good old Mike.

497
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,362
Mark. Matt.

498
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,697
Crap! Why do I keep doing that?

499
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,200
I didn't only
lose the game,

500
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,138
I lost every
single prop bet.

501
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:40,074
Total penalty yardage,

502
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,009
number of replay-challenges,

503
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,284
coin toss...

504
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:45,413
What are the odds of losing
the coin toss?

505
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,448
50-50, give or take.

506
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,954
Interceptions, field-goals,

507
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,746
total sacks,

508
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,018
whether or not there'd
be a safety, first...

509
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,256
(breathy silence)