0 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,982 Look at this. 1 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:23,283 I bet you all don't even know what this is. 2 00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,756 No, this ain't no video. 3 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:32,256 This right here is my savior. The perfect babysitter. 4 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,358 See, it doesn't use my phone or eat my food or even ask, "Can a friend come over?" 5 00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:38,903 See, what this babysitter does is give me an hour... 6 00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:41,132 so I can have some peace and quiet. 7 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:44,039 Now, hold on now. I hear you out there. 8 00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:46,738 "Bernie Mac, are you doin' your job as a parent?" 9 00:00:46,846 --> 00:00:49,815 Hell yes! In Bernie Mac's opinion... 10 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:53,374 part of bein' a good parent is bein' aware of your child's interests. 11 00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:56,114 [Karate Yells, Grunts] 12 00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:05,730 Hey, Jordan, wanna get some ice cream? Or maybe go to Disneyland? 13 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,663 Uncle Bernie, please! 14 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,065 I'm sorry, baby. 15 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,832 See, he's interested, and I'm liberated. 16 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,272 Same as baby girl. Come on. 17 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,367 Rosie, Mommy wants you to share. 18 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:21,208 No! No, I don't wanna share! I'm not gonna share! 19 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:24,772 - Hey, baby girl, wanna play Barbie? - No. 20 00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:27,079 I want you to help me with my Spanish. 21 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:30,987 I'll be glad to help you with your Spanish. 22 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,286 - Look. - [Speaking Spanish] 23 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,361 See? 24 00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:41,397 Did I tell you? The perfect babysitter. 25 00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:43,992 See, now, Nessa doesn't need one of these. 26 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,129 She got that ignorant teenage attitude. 27 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,572 Can't stand nobody and don't wanna talk to nobody. 28 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,668 She makes it easy. Watch. 29 00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:01,486 Hey, Nessa, you wanna do somethin'? 30 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:04,887 Ah, no, I don't think so. I got something else to do. 31 00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,289 Work every time. 32 00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,725 Now, who said parenting is hard? 33 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:13,356 You just gotta know how to put it on autopilot. 34 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,993 [Coach] Okay, girls, stretch it out. That's it. Breathe right into it. 35 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,469 You are going to throw up. 36 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,302 My dad wants you and your family to come over for dinner Saturday night. 37 00:02:22,408 --> 00:02:24,399 My whole family? Bernie Mac too? 38 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,979 I know. It's so stupid. 39 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,674 But we hang out together so much, my dad read somewhere that... 40 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:32,717 "a parent is involved in every facet of their child's lives." 41 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:35,253 Okay. Look, Shannon... 42 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:38,153 you have got to tell your dad to stop reading those parenting books. 43 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:40,726 I hear you! But, please? 44 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,523 Lt'll chill him out, and I'll get major points. 45 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,155 [Sighs] You owe. 46 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,325 Thanks. 47 00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:51,665 Jordan, Bryana? Hello? Excuse me? 48 00:02:51,771 --> 00:02:54,968 I want you two to be on your best behavior tonight. 49 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:57,634 That's right. 'Cause if anybody embarrass me... 50 00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:01,111 I'm not kiddin', I'm gonna pop you right under the eye. 51 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:05,651 - I'm not kiddin'. - Bernie, you're not gonna pop no one underneath the eye. 52 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:09,882 You watch. I'm gonna use the knuckle while I'm gonna pop 'em right under the... 53 00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,685 - Can't we just stay home? - [Bernie] Shut up! 54 00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:20,391 Bernie, Wanda, welcome to our home. 55 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:23,560 - Thank you. - Thank you. 56 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,400 You know what, Ed? I think you and I got... 57 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,270 a couple of Olympic gymnasts on our hands, huh? 58 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,742 That would be great, so long as she keeps up her grades. 59 00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:34,870 Isn't that right, honey? 60 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:38,382 Now, we both know it takes more than a somersault to get into Harvard. 61 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:43,049 I agree. That's why baby girl, you see... 62 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,716 she's only five, but she's learnin' Spanish right now. 63 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:48,919 Baby girl, why don't you razzle-dazzle us with some Spanish? 64 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,053 Listen to this, Ed. Listen. 65 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:56,067 Uno, dos, tres, "quachos," cinco, um... 66 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:59,570 - Seis. - Ah, you know your numbers too, huh? 67 00:03:59,672 --> 00:04:01,936 Well, actually, he's been fluent for about a year. 68 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:04,134 - No! - Isn't that right, son? 69 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,508 S�, papa. [Speaking Spanish] 70 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,146 - S�. - S�. 71 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,483 The boy's four years old. 72 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,490 That's impossible! 73 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:22,186 ! Imposible! 74 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,263 Wow. 75 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,664 You know, Bernie, I keep telling my kids... 76 00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:35,332 it's not enough these days to be in honors classes or do well on the S.A.T.s. 77 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,204 I think they should do away with the S.A.T.s. 78 00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:39,540 [Laughs] That's teenagers for you, huh? 79 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,773 Defend your position. 80 00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:45,817 Dad, the S.A.T. S are widely considered... 81 00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:48,978 to be a culturally biased assessment of scholastic aptitude. 82 00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,613 And studies have shown that... 83 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:56,024 they aren't an accurate test of achievement or how a person does in college. 84 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:59,963 But you still plan on getting a perfect 1600, correct? 85 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,624 Touch�. 86 00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:05,534 Wow. Ed, you must tell me... 87 00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:08,801 how in the world do you keep your kids so disciplined? 88 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,741 Honestly, do you whup em? 89 00:05:11,844 --> 00:05:13,869 No. Caning them. 90 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,574 - [Chuckling] - [Makes Whipping Sound] 91 00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,344 [Bernie] I like your work ethics, man. 92 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:21,648 - How about some music? - We'd love some. Some music? 93 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:25,349 ?? [Classical] 94 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,236 Susan, this is so lovely. 95 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,008 Next time, you have to come to our house for dinner. 96 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,447 Right, honey? 97 00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,519 Huh? 98 00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,423 Come to our house? 99 00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,218 I can only imagine. 100 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:05,058 Nessa, what are you... 101 00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:07,496 Baby, she peacin' me out. 102 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,694 Lord, what's goin' on here? 103 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:13,533 Where's baby girl? Oh, Lord! 104 00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:17,973 Ma'am... Oh, man, that's your... I'm so sorry. 105 00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:21,535 - Get down from there, boy! Jordan, are you crazy? - [Laughing Wildly] 106 00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:24,309 Get down! Get down from there, boy! 107 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,952 Oh, my God. 108 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,956 - Was it the two of spades? - Jordan, that's okay. 109 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:39,665 The king of hearts? 110 00:06:42,535 --> 00:06:45,231 - [Groans] - [Chuckles] 111 00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,899 - Ed, Susan, truly, thank you. - Bernie. 112 00:06:49,008 --> 00:06:51,499 - On behalf of my family... - Seven of diamonds? 113 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,511 - Uh... - Get in the car. 114 00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:56,741 - Get in the... I'm sorry. Good night. - That's okay. 115 00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:59,409 - I got two of clubs. - Good night. Good night, Bernie. 116 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,680 [Bernie] Ten of diamonds. Ten of diamonds. 117 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,949 Jordan and his doggone magic trick. 118 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:06,024 You see those kids play those instruments? 119 00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:08,650 Honey, our kids are not in a competition. 120 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,229 Wanda, I gotta prepare our kids for the real world. 121 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:15,027 You saw that five-year-old boy. He spoke Spanish. Our kids can't even talk English. 122 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:18,103 From now on, hey, I'm doin' somethin'. 123 00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,230 - Will you teach us Ebonics? - Mm-hmm. Okay. 124 00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,309 All right. I'll tell you one thing. When I get done with you... 125 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,605 Nothin'. When I get done with y'all... 126 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,441 y'�ll be smarter than your sister's mouth. 127 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,948 Impossible. 128 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,041 Smart aleck. 129 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,786 Oh, I was serious when I told those kids... 130 00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,988 there wasn't gonna be any more video watchin'. 131 00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:49,124 From now on in this house, it's gonna be all about higher learnin'... 132 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:51,226 education and schoolin'. 133 00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:53,237 Shoot, if I don't nip it in the bud... 134 00:07:53,339 --> 00:07:56,001 Ed's kids will be C.E.O. Ing Fortune 500 companies... 135 00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:59,202 while my kids will be callin' bingo numbers in a church basement. 136 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,072 Hey, Se�orita Bryana... 137 00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:08,552 meet me in la cocina in diez minutos por uno snacko. 138 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,246 S�, t�o Bernito. 139 00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,686 I talked to Bryana's teacher, and she said... 140 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,854 the best way for a child to learn a language is to immerse her. 141 00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,864 So we ain't speakin' nothin' but Spanish to her... 142 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:21,866 and she ain't speakin' nothin' but Spanish to us. 143 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,994 Uncle Bernie, what's this? I don't wanna play the piano! 144 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,470 And I don't want a dummy for a nephew. Look, Jordan... 145 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:29,473 I rented this thing, and you're gonna play it. 146 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,475 Come on. Sit down. I'll show you. 147 00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:33,568 Come on. Sit down. 148 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,147 Now, dig this here. Look. 149 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,376 ?? ["Chopsticks"] 150 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,619 Or, when you get better, you'll be able to break it off like this here. 151 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,926 ?? [Funk] 152 00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:07,109 Trust me, Shannon, you don't. 153 00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,512 Now, I would trade my family for yours any day. 154 00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:12,743 - Say "adios." - I'm not Bryana. 155 00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,685 - ?? [Piano.' "Chopsticks"] - Look, I'll call you back. 156 00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:17,688 You're not callin' anybody back. 157 00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,759 You're gonna start hittin' these books. You're gonna get your math grade back up. 158 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:24,421 - But I'm not good in math. - You're not good in math because of your study habits. 159 00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,589 With a little hard work, you'll get there. 160 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:29,964 - Why? 'Cause you're a Mac. - And what did you get in math? 161 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,162 It's not about me. 162 00:09:32,271 --> 00:09:34,501 It's about you. So, get to studyin'. 163 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,632 [Sighs] Sounds like a "D" to me. 164 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,107 I got your "D." 165 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:40,872 Hey, what you doin' in here, son? 166 00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,143 - It's time for dinner. - No, dinner ain't for another 20 doggone minutes. 167 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,343 You get right back up. Let me hear some fancy fingerin'. 168 00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,352 - Come on. Let's go, Jordan. - What? 169 00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,354 I didn't rent that piano for nothin'. Let's go! 170 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,981 - What? Aw! - ?? [Humming "Chopsticks"] 171 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,760 - Let's go. Let's go. - Mmm! 172 00:09:56,862 --> 00:10:00,628 - Mmm, nothin'. - Uncle Bernie, can I have a glass of milk? 173 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:04,032 Is that how you ask, baby girl? Aw, baby girl. 174 00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,400 - Uncle Bernie, please? - ?? [Piano.' "Chopsticks"] 175 00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,133 No, sweetheart. Espa�ol, remember? 176 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,072 We spent all mornin' coverin' milk. 177 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,805 - I forgot. - Lee-che. 178 00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:17,713 It's leche. And, Bernie, she's just five. 179 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,717 I know she's only five, sweetheart. 180 00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,719 But there's a lot of five-year-old kids over in Mexico. 181 00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:25,348 They know how to say it, and some right here in California. 182 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,086 Show Auntie Wanda you know how to say it. Go ahead, baby girl. 183 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:30,389 Leche, por favor. 184 00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,464 - Told you. - She sounds Italian. 185 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,658 - She's only five. I'm proud of you. - Mmm. 186 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:38,897 - Hey, Bryana, have you seen my new C. D? - Mm-mmm. 187 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,529 We ain't got no time for no music. 188 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,507 Honey, we eat dinner in 20 minutes. 189 00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:45,702 - I'm not hungry. - Well, if you ain't hungry... 190 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,405 that gives you more doggone time to go up in there and study. 191 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:51,847 And give me that Walkman. Give it up. 192 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:56,486 Yeah, you study your math. Two plus two is four. 193 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,784 Four plus four is six. Am I right? 194 00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:01,917 - Yeah. - No! Eight! 195 00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:04,792 That's why you need to get up in there and study. 196 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:11,626 Here you go. Brought you some lemonade. 197 00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,534 - I'm studying. - I know it. 198 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:15,766 That's why I'll give you a little break. 199 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,207 You've been studyin' so hard. 200 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:19,834 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 201 00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:23,881 I'll let you get back. What's this, baby girl? 202 00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:29,884 Nessa! A "D"? 203 00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:32,480 You got a "D." It don't make no sense. 204 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:35,151 You been in here studyin' all the time. How you get a "D"? 205 00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:39,493 - It's hard. - Vanessa, if it's hard, why don't you ask for some help? 206 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:41,828 - I'll help you. - No. 207 00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:43,902 Come on. Let me help you. 208 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,274 [Chuckles] 209 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,812 Is this how you study, Nessa? 210 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:58,475 - Answer me. Is this how you study, Nessa? - I don't know. 211 00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:01,018 Then you ain't got no shame, right? 212 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:07,255 Okay then, Nessa. I got a math problem for you. 213 00:12:07,359 --> 00:12:11,352 "D" plus your attitude equal grounded. 214 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:14,297 What you think about that, Nessa? 215 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,335 'Cause it's gonna definitely give you a chance to think about what you just did... 216 00:12:17,436 --> 00:12:19,336 and give you more time to study. 217 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,010 Did you see that? 218 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,774 She didn't even care she got a "D." 219 00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:31,941 In my day, when I got a "D" I felt bad... 220 00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:36,249 bad because I let myself down and Big Mama down. 221 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:39,882 Oh, just thinkin' about the look Big Mama would give me. 222 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,187 Oh, I mean, it still make me shiver. 223 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:45,730 She didn't have to say nothin'. Just the look was enough. 224 00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:49,426 She didn't even have to punish me. I punished myself. 225 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:53,801 Put myself on lockdown till I brought home a better grade. 226 00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:58,639 That darn Vanessa. Now, America, you tell me again... 227 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,803 why I can't whup that child. 228 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,953 ?? [Piano.' "Chopsticks"] 229 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:14,414 ?? [Strikes Bad Note, Resumes] 230 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,587 Yo, man, come on, dog. Let me turn up the radio. 231 00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:19,755 See? Let me tell you somethin'. 232 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:22,026 Y'�ll better enjoy it while you can... 233 00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,762 because when those tickets cost $300 at Carnegie Hall... 234 00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:26,895 don't call me for no hookups. 235 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:29,372 Brother, I don't think you gonna have to worry about that. 236 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,205 - For real! - Okay, okay. 237 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,303 Go on, get off. But I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. 238 00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:37,712 See, I'm pushin' my kids towards excellence. 239 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,445 That's right. And baby girl, she gonna be a language expert... 240 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,453 'cause I'm immersin' her in Spanish. 241 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,752 You want to immerse her in Spanish, bring her over to my house. 242 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,316 My in-laws are visiting. We ain't speaking nothin' but Spanish. 243 00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:53,888 It's like M�xico 24-7 up in there. She'll learn a lot, man. 244 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,900 - Are you serious, Chuy? - Oh, yeah, man. Bring baby girl over. 245 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,334 I think that'd be great, man. 246 00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,838 That'll be good for her and less work for me. 247 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:04,671 - Thank you, baby. - No problemo, papi. 248 00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:07,337 Oh, Bernie got you speaking Spanish too? 249 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:09,346 - [Phone Ringing] - What's goin' on? 250 00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:12,008 - [Spanish] - I'll get it. 251 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:14,017 Hello? Hey, Ed. 252 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:16,417 No, Shannon's not here. 253 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,615 They went to a party over at StephanieJohnson's house. 254 00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:22,660 Hey, baby, you let her go to a party? I got her on punishment. 255 00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:24,956 - I didn't know. - Let me talk to him. 256 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,658 - Hold on. - Let me talk to him. 257 00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:30,530 Hello, Ed? Yeah, this is Mac. 258 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:33,434 I'm on my way. Game over. 259 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:36,099 - [Laughing, Chattering] - ?? [Funk] 260 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,904 I told my dad I was going to a get-together. 261 00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:41,605 Say the word "party" and he gets all paranoid. 262 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,308 Yeah. Fortunately, my Aunt Wanda took pity on me. 263 00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:47,317 - She seems pretty cool. - Yeah, but she could've married anybody... 264 00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:49,785 and she married Bernie Mac... I don't get it. 265 00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,327 Hey, how about some brews? 266 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,395 [Together] Dieting. 267 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,532 [Doorbell Rings] 268 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:06,029 - Cool. You're not the cops. - Yo, how's it goin', man? 269 00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,301 All right. 270 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:12,571 - Yo, man, Vanessa here? - I don't know. 271 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:16,910 What is that, smoke? Y'�ll smokin' in here? 272 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:19,780 Y'�ll are smokin' in here. Where your parents at? 273 00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,614 - Hey, man, it's not my house. - Hold on, man. 274 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,156 Unsupervised party? Son, you best to get out of my way. 275 00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:27,316 Yo, Vanessa! 276 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,930 Oh, God. And there's no way out. 277 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,932 - Vanessa! - [All Gasping] 278 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:37,229 [Boy] Old school in the house. 279 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,850 You all know Vanessa? That's all right. 280 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,352 I'll find her. 281 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:03,022 You're too young to die. 282 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,608 Hi, Nessa. I thought I had you on punishment, Nessa. 283 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,814 What you doin' at a party where there's alcohol? 284 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:42,463 How you doin', Ed? It seems like our girls lost their mind... 285 00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,468 at a unsupervised party where there's drinkin'. 286 00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,561 - Were you drinking? - No, Dad. 287 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,731 How can I believe anything you say? 288 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,934 You told me you were at Vanessa's house. 289 00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:54,945 - Dad... - No more gymnastics. Let's go. 290 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:59,347 - No more gymnastics? But I didn't do anything! - I said, let's go. 291 00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:07,791 - You knew you was on doggone punishment. - ?? [Piano.' "Chopsticks"] 292 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:09,793 Yeah, unfair punishment. 293 00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,887 It ain't for you to call what's fair or unfair. That's my job. 294 00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:16,297 I'm tryin' to protect you so you don't make a mess of your stupid little life. 295 00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:19,997 You should be in the room studyin', besides bein' at some party where there's alcohol. 296 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,539 First of all, I didn't know there was gonna be drinking. 297 00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:25,109 That's my point. That's my point right there. 298 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,701 There's a lot of hidden dangers out there, Nessa. 299 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,713 And as you get older and get into high school... 300 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:32,045 you're gonna be exposed to a lot worse than alcohol. 301 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:35,382 I have been exposed to a lot worse. 302 00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:38,081 Or did you forget where I used to live? 303 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:41,785 ?? [Piano Continues] 304 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:45,762 The girl got a good point. 305 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:48,128 Damn. 306 00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,133 You know, I don't know what you're so upset about. 307 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,465 I don't wanna drink. It's stupid. 308 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:56,234 And, besides, nobody on the gymnastics team drinks. 309 00:17:56,341 --> 00:18:00,209 Okay, Nessa. I'm gonna hold you to your word. 310 00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:02,143 You can stay on the gymnastic team, baby... 311 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:05,216 - Thank you. - When your grades get better. 312 00:18:07,419 --> 00:18:09,649 [Scoffs] Grades. 313 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:10,813 [Door Closes] 314 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,823 So she don't wanna study. 315 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,984 She just wants to do gymnastics. Well, that's fine. 316 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,460 I'll send her to Russia, and all the time she ain't studyin'... 317 00:18:17,563 --> 00:18:21,829 she can spend her time standing in line for toilet paper and bread. 318 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:25,665 Oh, who am I kiddin'? You just can't send your kids away. 319 00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:33,773 America, that's it. 320 00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:35,506 I'm checkin' out. 321 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,707 No m�s. Adi�s. 322 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:40,284 - I can't take it no more. - ?? [Piano Continues] 323 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,617 And I'm takin' that doggone piano with me. 324 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:55,931 - Hey. - Hey. 325 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:02,500 So I guess you don't have to worry about being late for gymnastics practice. 326 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,076 No kidding. 327 00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,202 Is your dad still mad at you? 328 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,906 He's not speaking to me, Vanessa. 329 00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:12,483 - But did you at least try to tell him... - Vanessa. 330 00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:15,553 He's not even speaking to me. 331 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,919 It's like he hates me. 332 00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:23,085 [Sighs] He told my mom he should send me off to boarding school. 333 00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:30,928 So, now do you wanna switch families? 334 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,002 [Vanessa] Can I talk to you guys for a second? 335 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:41,079 I just wanted to tell you guys I'm sorry. 336 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,307 You're sorry? 337 00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:47,181 I really am. I know you guys want the best for me. 338 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:51,620 We want the best for you, Nessa, but you got to want the best for yourself. 339 00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:54,089 - I do. - That's what you're saying. 340 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,890 I hear you talkin', but talk is cheap. 341 00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:01,090 - You have to do somethin'. - Math is really hard. 342 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:09,596 Nessa, I know math is hard. Trig is hard. 343 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,142 Calculus is hard. 344 00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:16,112 Doing a triple backflip is hard. But I seen you do it. 345 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,616 Will you help me? 346 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:29,455 Nessa, I'll be glad to help you. 347 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:35,394 America, I got some exceptional kids. 348 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,695 Sometimes they just need a little push. 349 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:40,328 Well, in Nessa's case, a big push. 350 00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:43,966 But it doesn't matter, just as long as they get there. 351 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,909 And you know what? They will. 352 00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:49,480 Why? 'Cause they're Macs. 353 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,414 ?? [Piano.' "Chopsticks"] 354 00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:55,543 - Take five, Jordan! - ?? [Continues] 355 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,781 - Take five! - ?? [Continues] 356 00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:00,289 Take a nap. Take somethin'. 357 00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:03,088 Should put that boy in Spanish class like baby girl. 358 00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:05,493 Help me, Spanish. How do you... 359 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:10,327 Llame el polic�a. 360 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,403 That's close enough. 361 00:21:16,508 --> 00:21:19,341 �Llame el polic�a! 362 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,845 �Llame el polic�a! �Llame el polic�a! 363 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:26,179 �Llame el polic�a! �Llame el polic�a! 364 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,812 �Llame el polic�a! �Llame el polic�a! 365 00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:37,122 Think I'll take a lesson my damn... Let's move on. 366 00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:40,663 Come on, baby girl. We gotta go. 367 00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:42,996 Yo no voy. Yo no voy. Yo no voy. 368 00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,831 - She said, "I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving." - That's what she said? 369 00:21:45,937 --> 00:21:47,928 [Screaming] 370 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,168 - No, baby, I got enough kids. - Y'�ll give her a tamale or somethin'? 371 00:21:51,276 --> 00:21:53,176 - [Screaming] - Baby girl, come here! 372 00:21:53,278 --> 00:21:55,473 - What's wrong? - Baby girl. 373 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:57,275 - Come here. What's wrong? - Oh, come on, baby. It's... 374 00:21:57,382 --> 00:22:00,283 - No, Papa! No, Papa! No! - What you mean, "No, Papa..." 375 00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:02,216 Hey, hey, hey. You're scaring her, man. 376 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,482 Well, you... 377 00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:07,114 You got her goin' Elian Gonzalez on me.