1 00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,107 - Uh-huh. 2 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,109 Well, Connie, sweetheart, look. 3 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,211 Why don't you just see if you can't change 4 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:13,114 that other commitment, huh? 5 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,615 Yeah, yeah. 6 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,151 Well, the place I want to show you is really wild. 7 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,520 Soft lights, romantic music. 8 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,557 Food? (audience laughs) 9 00:00:23,591 --> 00:00:27,595 Well, all right, if you want to waste time eating. 10 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,163 All right, look, why don't you just see 11 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:32,100 what you can do about it then call me back, okay? 12 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:36,304 All right (air kisses), goodbye, sweetheart. 13 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,540 Say, you know, this is the most complicated gadget 14 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:41,109 I've seen you work on yet. 15 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:44,044 Why is it you martians are so far ahead of us earth people, 16 00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:45,313 scientifically? 17 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,814 - Because we don't waste a lot of time 18 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:50,651 talking nonsense on the telephone. (audience laughs) 19 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,422 - This is nothing but a camera. 20 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,724 - Exactly, it's a futuroid camera, 21 00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,260 taken from the nosecone of my spaceship. 22 00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,728 Well, I'm glad this is fixed. 23 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,663 I couldn't get more than a couple of hundred thousand miles 24 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,165 towards Mars without it. 25 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,100 - Well, what is the point of taking snapshots 26 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:07,468 of outer space? 27 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:10,438 - Dear boy, these snapshots, as you call them, 28 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,440 show what will be in the path of the spaceship 29 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,708 at some time in the future. 30 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,044 I've avoided some nasty collisions with this. 31 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:19,079 - Uh, now just one second. 32 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,715 Do you mean to tell me that this camera 33 00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,016 can take a picture of something 34 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,319 that's going to happen in some future time? 35 00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,588 - Well, now, I wouldn't expect you to grasp 36 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,657 the concept immediately. 37 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:33,294 You see, you earthlings think of time as a straight line. 38 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:36,330 Like a road you walk down, passing objects or events 39 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,698 at different intervals. 40 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,267 - It isn't a straight line? 41 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,535 - Oh, yes, you're correct in thinking of time 42 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:45,038 as straight line, but you think of space as a mass. 43 00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:46,974 Actually, they're both straight lines 44 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:50,244 and can be made to intersect at any given point. 45 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:51,345 Let me illustrate. 46 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,546 You sit there. 47 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,148 - All right. 48 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,749 - Now first, we set the space line 49 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:58,186 to go directly through you, 50 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:02,122 then we set the timeline for say, oh, 24 hours. 51 00:02:03,191 --> 00:02:04,292 Say "Uranus". 52 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,125 - Uranus. 53 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,661 (camera clicks) 54 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:08,829 You know, if shows (mumbles) with a haircut, 55 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:10,398 I'm gonna be in an awful lot of trouble. 56 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,600 The barbershops are closed tomorrow. 57 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,868 - Uh-oh, this looks serious. 58 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:19,139 - Well, there is a shop open tomorrow in Anaheim. 59 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:22,009 (audience laughs) 60 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,512 Oh, yeah, I see me. 61 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,680 I don't who the guy with the book is. 62 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,550 And the girl, I don't know... 63 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,319 Say, you know something? 64 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,186 This... 65 00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:35,323 This looks like a picture of a-- 66 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,724 - Exactly. 67 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,092 I believe you call it a wedding? 68 00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,363 (upbeat wedding music) 69 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:47,535 (spirited beeping theme music) 70 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,965 (cheerful music) 71 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:25,539 (humorous wedding music) 72 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,944 - I'm not ready to get married yet. 73 00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,380 I don't know any girls who are, either. 74 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,482 - Apparently, there's one who is. 75 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:37,017 (phone rings) 76 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:39,887 - Hello? 77 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,422 Oh, hello, Connie. 78 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,123 You can? 79 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,593 I can't. 80 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,061 Well, you see, something's come up, I just can't make it. 81 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,431 I have a 24-hour virus, and I'm in the first hour. 82 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:51,765 (audience laughs) 83 00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,166 What? 84 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,637 Yes, well, I'll call you as soon as I get well. 85 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:57,505 Right. 86 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:58,372 Bye. 87 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,173 That was close. 88 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,575 - And she's not the only one. 89 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:05,178 Tim, I advise complete isolation for the next 24 hours. 90 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,715 (phone rings) 91 00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,453 - You take it. 92 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,188 - Hello? 93 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,791 Oh, yes, yes, he's here, just a moment. 94 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:18,926 - No. - It's for you. 95 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,160 - No, no-- - It's all right. 96 00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,562 It's your boss, it's a man, here, take it. 97 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,631 - Oh, oh, hello? 98 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:26,266 Yeah, hello, Mr. Benson? 99 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,235 Well, yes, sir, I'll cover the story for him. 100 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,538 No, sir, I'm not doing anything tonight. 101 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:31,939 No, I have no date. 102 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:32,806 Nothing. 103 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,842 What? 104 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,676 Oh, yes, sir. 105 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,711 Where is the assignment? 106 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:39,480 Mm-hm. 107 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,717 The Kitten Club on the Strip. 108 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,688 All right, sir, I'll get right over there. 109 00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,022 Fine, thanks, Mr. Benson. 110 00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:50,223 Bye now. 111 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,325 Yeah, oh, Mr. Benson? (line disconnects) 112 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:52,292 Mr. Benson! 113 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:57,798 The Kitten Club. 114 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,300 On the Strip. 115 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,970 That's that private key club where they... 116 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,037 Where they have all of those-- 117 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,407 - Girls, all beautiful. 118 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,875 Any one of whom could end up-- 119 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:11,379 - Yeah, and I've gotta cover the opening. 120 00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:13,013 See, the regular man's sick. 121 00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,748 I was the only reporter the boss could get. 122 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,283 - Tim, I can't say that I'm surprised 123 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,151 at what this picture reveals. 124 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,554 You have an instinct for self-destruction 125 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,523 rivaled only by that of the lemming. 126 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,825 (audience laughs) 127 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,161 (cheerful music) 128 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,830 Tim, Tim, you're supposed to be at the Kitten Club 129 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,665 in 20 minutes, you'd better hurry. 130 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:32,900 - Okay, okay. 131 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,535 - Tim, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 132 00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,103 - Why are you taking my shaving lotion? 133 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,638 - Tim, when you're the fish, 134 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,073 you are not required to bait the hook. 135 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,409 Shall we go? 136 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:42,843 - [Tim] We? 137 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,777 - Well, you don't think I'm going to let you 138 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,446 risk your freedom unprotected? 139 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,280 I will be your loyal cameraman. 140 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,916 Ah, if Matthew Brady and I had only had 141 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:50,651 one of these at Gettysburg. 142 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,886 - Uncle Martin, do you really think you're gonna save me? 143 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,388 - Well, I intend to try. 144 00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:56,189 I shall take a futuramic photograph 145 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,825 of every kitten at the Kitten Club 146 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,561 before she so much as meows at you. 147 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,230 And if the picture shows that in the next 24 hours 148 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,566 one of them will be standing next to you, 149 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,367 we will avoid her like the plague. 150 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,301 Come along. 151 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,475 (jazzy music) 152 00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:18,879 - Good evening, gentlemen. 153 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,048 I'm Kitten Caroline, may I show you to your table? 154 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,083 I'll take your hat, sir. 155 00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:25,653 - Oh, just one moment, please. 156 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:26,954 Hold it. 157 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,056 (camera clicks) Thank you. 158 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,592 (jazzy music) 159 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,197 - [Caroline] Will you follow me? 160 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,600 - Just one minute, please. 161 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,468 - Okay. 162 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,370 About that beach party tomorrow. 163 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,406 Better take a warm raincoat and some nice heavy socks. 164 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,942 (audience laughs) 165 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,479 (jazzy music) 166 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,754 (jazzy music) 167 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,099 - Listen, I was just talking to the manager. 168 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,801 They have 40 kittens here. 169 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:17,170 There's 20 blondes, 12 brunettes and eight convertibles. 170 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,539 - Tim, I've been studying your wedding picture 171 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,674 through a high-powered magnifying lens, 172 00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:22,075 and I found something that should help us 173 00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,144 zero in on Madame X. 174 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,313 She has a mole right in the middle of her back. 175 00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:27,314 - What? 176 00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,049 Well, let me see that. 177 00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,685 Where's the magnifying lens? 178 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:32,520 - Here. 179 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,386 - Oh, yeah. 180 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,622 Well, a mole, huh? 181 00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,323 Well, that should simplify things. 182 00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,959 All we have to do now is, uh... 183 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,895 Are you sure that's where the mole is? 184 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,130 - I'm afraid so. 185 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,898 However, I have some ideas on the subject. 186 00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:49,102 - Well, you martians aren't as naive as I thought. 187 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,605 - [Kitten] May I warm up your coffee? 188 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:54,007 - If you would, please. 189 00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:57,177 Would you mind turning around for a moment, please? 190 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,045 - Sure. 191 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,180 Cute costume, isn't it? 192 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,115 - Yes, it certainly is. 193 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,054 (mystical music) 194 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,026 - It's cute, but it's a little drafty. 195 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:16,897 I just felt a chill go up and down my spine. 196 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:17,765 Bye. 197 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:21,001 - Oh, I should've known. 198 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,370 I keep forgetting about that levitation finger of yours. 199 00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,538 Well, as long as you've got that, 200 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:26,106 this will be like playing Russian roulette 201 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:27,708 with a water pistol. (audience laughs) 202 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,010 - Well, I'd avoid overconfidence, if I were you. 203 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,879 There's a very lethal pistol being aimed at you 204 00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,146 at this moment. 205 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:40,721 - Oh, that is a whole arsenal, that's Louise Babcock. 206 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,089 - A friend of yours? 207 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,257 - Well, I tried getting a date with her once, 208 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,627 but absolutely no luck at all. 209 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:49,830 - Good, that's one we don't have to worry about. 210 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,565 - I don't suppose you know who that is. 211 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,266 - Louise, why do I always have to be jealous 212 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,002 to prove I love you? 213 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,303 - You just don't care. 214 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,672 - Sure I care, but I trust you. 215 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,173 I know what kind of upbringing you had 216 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,009 and how strict your father is. 217 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,911 - Oh, well, that's a great compliment for a girl. 218 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:07,547 You trust me and my father doesn't. (audience laughs) 219 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,850 The next time Tim O'Hara asks me out for a date, 220 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,352 I just might accept. 221 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,921 Do you have anything to say to that? 222 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,623 - Yeah. 223 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,490 Where do you want to eat tonight, Jimmy Chang's or Angelo's? 224 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,358 - Neither! 225 00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:25,265 (romantic music) 226 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:36,910 (mystical music) (audience laughs) 227 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:42,582 (romantic music) 228 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:54,194 (mystical music) (audience laughs) 229 00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,867 (slaps) 230 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,007 - Sorry, cold fingers. 231 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,609 - (sighs) Uncle Martin, look, I think we oughta quit. 232 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,111 I have enough material for a story, 233 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,480 and besides, we oughta give your levitating finger a rest 234 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,482 before it gets me into more trouble than I'm in now. 235 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:18,085 - Well, it is beginning to feel the strain. 236 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,354 Some of those zippers are pretty rusty. 237 00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,691 - Tim O'Hara. 238 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,258 I thought you were never gonna speak to me. 239 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,526 - Hi, Louise. 240 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,460 Well, you see, I'm on an assignment. 241 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:28,395 I have a deadline to make. 242 00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,329 - Yes, and we'd better hurry. 243 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,631 May I have my cap, please? 244 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,166 - You haven't called me in weeks. 245 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,002 - Well, every time I do, I can't get a date. 246 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,236 - Why don't you try again? 247 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,139 Things may have changed. (audience laughs) 248 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,974 - Yes, and we'd better hurry, uh, (clears throat) 249 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,542 may I have my cap, please? 250 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,511 - Let him try, first. 251 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:48,448 - All right, how about, say, a week from tonight? 252 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:49,750 - How about tonight? 253 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,651 - Oh, well, with my assignment and all, 254 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,619 I'll be working late. 255 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,521 It just wouldn't be practical. 256 00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,857 - Well, if you get finished early, 257 00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:58,358 why don't you give me a call? 258 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:02,362 - Oh, yes, yes, I'll do that, I'll make a note of that. 259 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:04,231 - Uh, Tim? 260 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,733 - Yeah? 261 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:06,599 Hm? 262 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,376 - Now, you don't have to make a note of it. 263 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,911 I'll get your hat. 264 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,548 How did you do that? 265 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,917 - The finger is quicker than the eye. 266 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:24,752 Come along, Tim. 267 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,618 - Yeah. 268 00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,121 - Louise. 269 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,057 - I suppose you're going to demand an explanation. 270 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,391 - I sure am. 271 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,126 Why does it take you so long to decide 272 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,395 between Jimmy Chang's and Angelo's? 273 00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,564 - Oh, Sam Evans, I don't even want to talk to you! 274 00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:38,999 Just march yourself out of here! 275 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,300 - But Louise... 276 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,338 (phone rings) 277 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,210 - Checkroom, Kitten Louise. 278 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,080 Daddy, do you have to call me every night to check on me? 279 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,282 No, no one's gotten fresh. 280 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,851 No one's tried to grab my hand 281 00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,754 when I've given them their coat. 282 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:03,356 The biggest tip I've made so far has been 50 cents. 283 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,926 And I'll be home at the usual time. 284 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,295 No, I'm not seeing Sam tonight. 285 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,464 Listen, if he calls, give him this message. 286 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,100 Tell him I have a date with Tim O'Hara. 287 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,802 He's a newspaperman. 288 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:19,272 Daddy, I don't have time to talk, goodbye. 289 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,507 Caroline, will you take over for me 290 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,741 until my relief gets here? 291 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,410 I've gotta get dressed and get out of here. 292 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,878 - Well, sure, hon. Big date? 293 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,180 - [Louise] Mm-hm, unzip me. 294 00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:31,218 (audience laughs) 295 00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,558 - [Tim] Thanks a lot, Fritz, see ya later. 296 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,392 (whistling) 297 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,861 - [Martin] Who was that? 298 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,429 - Well, that was the messenger, he just picked up my story. 299 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,864 What are you doing? 300 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,465 - I'm soaking my levitating finger in Epson salts, 301 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:46,934 and it feels a lot better now. 302 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,568 - Well, you know, the evening wasn't half bad. 303 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,104 I guess I danced with 40 girls, and here I am, 304 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,406 safe, sound, single. 305 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,675 (knocking) 306 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,083 - Well, here I am. 307 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,018 - Uh... 308 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:05,953 - Aren't you going to ask me in? 309 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,988 - (stammers) Well, uh-- 310 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,824 - Now, don't tell me you're still working on that story. 311 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,459 I passed the messenger on the way up. 312 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,829 - Oh, the (stammers)... 313 00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:17,764 Come in. 314 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:23,871 Would you excuse me for a minute? 315 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:27,340 I think I left the radio on in the bedroom. 316 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,579 Uncle Martin, Uncle Martin! 317 00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:33,881 What am I gonna do? 318 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,315 - Well, first, we must find out if the enemy 319 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,484 is using live ammunition. 320 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,518 - What? 321 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,352 You mean the mole? 322 00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,220 - Exactly. 323 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,622 - Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. 324 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,157 I'll just dance her by the door, 325 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,927 like a did the girls at the club. 326 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:47,794 Yeah. 327 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,368 (audience laughs) 328 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,236 Buttons. 329 00:13:57,704 --> 00:14:00,340 If we'd only caught her when she had on her kitten costume. 330 00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,675 - Tim, she brought a hatbox, didn't she? 331 00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:06,646 We'll see if her kitten outfit is in there. 332 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,449 (sneaking music) 333 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,654 (clicks) 334 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,424 (mystical music) 335 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:30,537 - All right. 336 00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:35,408 Now, how do we get the kitten in the costume? 337 00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:36,944 - Sometimes, I wonder how you earth people 338 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,079 got the wheel rolling. (audience laughs) 339 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,581 Tim, you are an artist. 340 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,016 - I am? 341 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,484 - And you certainly wouldn't think of sketching her 342 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:47,120 in that dress when she has an interesting costume 343 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:49,322 with a zipper in the back. 344 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,891 - Oh... - Oh... 345 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,696 (sultry music) 346 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,069 - You can come in now. 347 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,638 Well? 348 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:07,740 - Uh, beautiful, yes. 349 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:08,741 Now, if you don't mind standing right over here 350 00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,044 with your back to the door. 351 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,017 (sneaking music) 352 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,989 (mystical music) 353 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,960 (audience laughs) 354 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,066 (thuds) 355 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,268 - Dad, he was sketching me. 356 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:36,569 He's an artist. 357 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:38,671 - Artist. 358 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:40,940 Get dressed. 359 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:41,908 - I can go home like this. 360 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,410 - You're not going home. 361 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,679 You're going to Tijuana and get married, tonight. 362 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,482 (humorous music) 363 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,689 - Oh, boy. 364 00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:58,825 He is just waiting for Man Mountain, Jr. 365 00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,293 to get that car gassed up, 366 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,595 and then get some clothes for Louise to get married in, 367 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,664 and then, away we go. 368 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,898 - What do you propose to do? 369 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,167 - Well, let's get outta here. 370 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,936 Out a window, over the roof, anything. 371 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,373 - May I remind you that the futuroid camera is never wrong. 372 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,176 Occasionally, out of focus, but never wrong. 373 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:19,879 Besides, there's another brother down there. 374 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,414 - Well, that's just great. 375 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,383 What am I supposed to do, just waltz down to Tijuana 376 00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,617 and get married? 377 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,852 Well, I don't want to get married. 378 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,154 And I don't think Louise does either. 379 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,821 - At least, not to you. 380 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,557 While you were sketching her, 381 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,892 I took the liberty of monitoring her thoughts. 382 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,928 The name, Sam Evans, kept coming up. 383 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,531 - Her boyfriend. 384 00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,732 - I would assume so. 385 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,168 She seems to be intent on doing something 386 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,370 that will shock him into being jealous of her. 387 00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,339 - Oh, well, marrying me will shock him all right. 388 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,707 - She's obviously in love with him. 389 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,008 And the thing for us to do is to get 390 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,411 the two of them together as soon as possible. 391 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,814 - But what about Babcock and that other brother downstairs? 392 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,851 - Well, what they can't see can't hurt us. 393 00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,687 - Uncle Martin, don't leave me. 394 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,122 - Fear not, my boy, I shall be at your side 395 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,856 until the end of this adventure, 396 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:06,593 even if that should be at the altar. 397 00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:10,430 - Okay. (audience laughs) 398 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,865 (door opens) 399 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,435 - What are you up to? 400 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,204 - Oh, just trying to get a little cross ventilation 401 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,638 in the room. 402 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:19,806 - Well, if you want cross ventilation in here, 403 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,875 you have to open the front door. 404 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,178 When did that happen? 405 00:17:25,212 --> 00:17:27,046 Well, did you get the car gassed up? 406 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,915 Got the dress too, huh? (slaps) 407 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,817 I don't think I've seen that one before. 408 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,252 - I did. 409 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,954 It has a low back on her, hasn't it, Louise? 410 00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:36,223 - How did you know that? 411 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:38,425 - Well, let's just say I saw it on candid camera. 412 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,294 (audience laughs) 413 00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,876 (spirited music) 414 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:01,381 - Hello, are you free? 415 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,350 - I didn't see you get in. 416 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,285 - Hey, you're Sam Evans, aren't you? 417 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,053 You go with that hatcheck girl in the club. 418 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,189 - Yeah, how'd you know? 419 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,890 - Oh, a fella mentioned it when he was telling me 420 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,325 about Tim O'Hara. 421 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,927 - What about Tim O'Hara? 422 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:16,396 - Well, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it, 423 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,497 but this fella was saying that they were together tonight 424 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,500 in O'Hara's apartment. (chuckles) 425 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,869 - Oh, that's where she went. 426 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,271 She's mad at me. 427 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,605 - You really trust this girl, don't you? 428 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,274 - Sure, she's a good girl. 429 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:31,077 - Would you trust her all the way to Tijuana, Mexico? 430 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,045 - How far is Tijuana? 431 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,114 - [Martin] About 110 miles. 432 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,616 - Oh, sure. 433 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,151 Last summer, she went all the way to the Grand Canyon 434 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:38,985 with a girlfriend. 435 00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:40,220 I trusted her then. 436 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,721 - Mm. 437 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:44,691 What if I told you they went to Tijuana to get married? 438 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,193 Would you still trust her? 439 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,460 - Sure, they went to see the bullfights, 440 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,761 that's what happened. 441 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,030 - At this time of night? 442 00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:52,732 Oh, well, forget it. 443 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,203 - Where you want to go, mister? 444 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:57,604 - Well, I'm not sure what good it'll do, 445 00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,273 but you'd better take me to Tijuana, Mexico. 446 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:01,974 - Yes, sir. 447 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,344 Boy, I hope she had dinner. 448 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,578 - Who, where? 449 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:08,147 - Louise, at what's his name's apartment. 450 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:11,083 She gets very hungry after work. (audience laughs) 451 00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,353 - Well, they didn't have much time to eat. 452 00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,988 He was, uh, sketching her. 453 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,224 - He was what? 454 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,158 - Sketching her. 455 00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,960 - There's only one thing worse than a newspaperman, 456 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,496 that's an artist. (audience laughs) 457 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,433 He wasn't sketching her in, uh... 458 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,167 Without, uh... 459 00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,569 - Let's just say her father wouldn't approve 460 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:34,341 of the way she was dressed. (audience laughs) 461 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:37,210 - I'm sure glad you're going to Tijuana. 462 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,111 I'm gonna look that Tim O'Hara up and give him 463 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,613 what he deserves. 464 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,781 - Good for you, Sam. 465 00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,049 - The minute I let you off, 466 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,951 I'm going straight to the bullfights. 467 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,820 (audience laughs) 468 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,892 (energetic Mexican music) 469 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:09,276 - Esta bien, the papers are in order. 470 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:12,912 Now, what kind of a marriage do you desire? 471 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:16,283 There is a $50 marriage, and a $10 marriage. 472 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,451 - What's the $10 marriage like? 473 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,988 - Oh, senor, many people, they say to me, 474 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,991 "Miss Gonzales, why you have never married?" 475 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,960 And I always tell them it's because I have seen 476 00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:31,163 too many $10 marriages. (audience laughs) 477 00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,266 - All right, we'll take the $50 marriage, 478 00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,134 but let's get on with it. 479 00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,903 - Muy bien, senor. 480 00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:38,771 Who's doing the paying? 481 00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:39,639 - I am. 482 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,477 - Now, will you step inside and complete arrangements 483 00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:46,145 with Judge Gonzales? 484 00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,179 - Of course. 485 00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:52,719 Oh, uh, just call me in case this fellow tries anything. 486 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,155 - Oh. (laughs) 487 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:59,125 - By the way, if at any time in the future 488 00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,193 you should want a divorce, 489 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:03,029 please do not forget us, huh? 490 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:06,333 We give a generous discount to repeat customers. 491 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:10,537 - I'll take one. (audience laughs) 492 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:13,973 - Coast is clear. 493 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,910 - [Tim] Oh, am I glad to see...(thuds) 494 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:21,348 (audience laughs) 495 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,583 - Sam, you're jealous, you really do love me! 496 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,017 - Senor? 497 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,853 Senor, may I give you our business card? 498 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,856 We also defend assault cases. 499 00:21:29,889 --> 00:21:31,491 (buzzing) 500 00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,693 Oh, they're ready for the bride and the... 501 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:37,163 Groom? (audience laughs) 502 00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,535 - Let's make a break for it. 503 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:43,636 - It'll never work, Tim. 504 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:44,571 - Why? 505 00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:45,772 The futuroid picture, remember? 506 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,507 Go on in, I'll think of something. 507 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,376 - Oh, you'd better. 508 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,309 Well, uh... 509 00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:52,412 Come on, Louise. 510 00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:53,880 - Well, I guess it's all right, 511 00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,382 if her father's in there. (audience laughs) 512 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,650 - I do not understand what goes on here. 513 00:21:57,684 --> 00:22:00,286 - My dear Miss Gonzales, I was just about to explain 514 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,021 the entire matter. 515 00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,357 Now, first of all... 516 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:07,527 - (speaking Spanish). 517 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:12,432 - He doesn't understand much English. 518 00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:14,901 Except when I paid him for that $50 wedding. 519 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,704 He understood that real good. (audience laughs) 520 00:22:17,737 --> 00:22:20,072 - (speaks Spanish). 521 00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:22,942 (audience laughs) 522 00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:26,946 What page... 523 00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,216 What page? 524 00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:35,154 - Oh, I'm sorry for the delay. 525 00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:38,791 I make a little mistake on the document. 526 00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:41,994 - (speaking Spanish). 527 00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:45,665 With a $50 wedding. 528 00:22:48,668 --> 00:22:52,104 (speaking Spanish) (organ music) 529 00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:55,442 Man and wife. (audience laughs) 530 00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:56,809 - Very pretty wedding. 531 00:22:56,843 --> 00:22:59,612 (audience laughs) 532 00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:02,482 Well, what's the matter, son? 533 00:23:02,515 --> 00:23:04,250 You're not saying anything. 534 00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:08,120 What's your first words as a married man? 535 00:23:08,154 --> 00:23:11,891 - Help! (audience laughs) 536 00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:14,861 - Now, that's not the right attitude, son. 537 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:18,598 Now's the time for the groom to kiss the bride. 538 00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:22,502 - Si, but first the groom must come into the room. 539 00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:23,369 - What are you talking about? 540 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,437 He's the groom. 541 00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,105 - Oh, no. (laughs) 542 00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:27,607 He is only the proxy. 543 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,977 - Si, proxy, the groom is somewhere else. 544 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,045 - What is this, some kind of trick? 545 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,514 - No trick at all, Mr. Babcock. 546 00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:35,648 Perfectly legal. 547 00:23:35,682 --> 00:23:38,585 Let me introduce the groom. 548 00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:40,853 - [Louise] Sam, we're married! 549 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:43,355 - Uncle Martin, if they're married, what am I? 550 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:46,325 - Tim, my boy, you are a proxy, a stand-in. 551 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,094 Miss Gonzales very kindly pointed out 552 00:23:48,127 --> 00:23:50,630 that there is a $75 wedding in which the groom 553 00:23:50,663 --> 00:23:52,164 does not have to be present. 554 00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:55,267 I was glad to pay the difference. 555 00:23:55,301 --> 00:23:56,836 - This is the first proxy wedding we ever had 556 00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:59,171 where the groom was so close by. 557 00:23:59,205 --> 00:24:01,674 Usually, they're heading for the border. 558 00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:03,309 - I'm sorry about this, Mr. Babcock. 559 00:24:03,342 --> 00:24:05,277 I hope you don't mind a switch in son-in-laws. 560 00:24:05,311 --> 00:24:08,447 - No, Louise seems to like that one better. 561 00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:10,249 And I think I do, too. 562 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,684 That one looks smarter. 563 00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:13,119 (audience laughs) 564 00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:14,821 - Yeah, well. (laughs) 565 00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:16,055 I feel like a celebration. 566 00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:17,524 How about you people? 567 00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:20,026 - If you don't mind, Louise and I would like to be excused. 568 00:24:20,059 --> 00:24:21,961 - Oh, sure, Sam, we understand. 569 00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:24,263 - It's getting kinda late, and, uh, 570 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:25,732 we want to get up early tomorrow 571 00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:28,968 to get good seats for the bullfights. (audience laughs) 572 00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:30,202 - Wait a minute. 573 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,004 I want something to remember this by. 574 00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:35,608 (camera clicks) Thank you. 575 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,011 - Well, uh, what did you set it for? 576 00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:40,780 - One year from now. 577 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:43,349 - And, uh, the verdict? 578 00:24:43,382 --> 00:24:47,353 - Twins. (audience laughs) 579 00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:50,657 (spirited theme music)