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1
00:00:01,016 --> 00:00:04,576
Mnh!
How can my babies be early?!
2
00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:06,305
I've never been early
to anything!
3
00:00:06,393 --> 00:00:08,134
Maybe they're not mine!
4
00:00:08,222 --> 00:00:09,891
I've always been faithful
to you!
5
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,457
Push, damn it!
6
00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:14,613
I'm not losing
another baby today.
7
00:00:15,535 --> 00:00:16,603
Cardiac arrest.
8
00:00:16,691 --> 00:00:17,720
Crash cart!
9
00:00:17,808 --> 00:00:19,363
The shock
could kill the baby!
10
00:00:19,924 --> 00:00:21,583
That's something
I'll just have to live with.
11
00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:23,668
Maybe we could
turn off the TV?
12
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,160
Clear!
13
00:00:25,248 --> 00:00:27,480
Well, folks, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
14
00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:28,482
Oh, my God, no.
15
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,559
N-No,
not that bad.
16
00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:31,590
I'm sorry. I did not
think that through.
17
00:00:31,678 --> 00:00:33,152
No, you're not
giving birth today.
18
00:00:33,389 --> 00:00:35,590
You've had false contractions,
known as Braxton Hicks.
19
00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:36,625
It's very common.
20
00:00:36,713 --> 00:00:38,324
Uh, so what does that mean
timing-wise?
21
00:00:38,412 --> 00:00:39,613
It's no indication.
22
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:40,872
It could be
five weeks from now,
23
00:00:40,959 --> 00:00:42,519
could be
five hours from now.
24
00:00:42,658 --> 00:00:44,099
I suggest
you and your husband go home,
25
00:00:44,186 --> 00:00:45,840
get some sleep
while you still can.
26
00:00:45,928 --> 00:00:48,230
Oh, we're not married.
We're just lovers.
27
00:00:48,318 --> 00:00:49,533
Ugh! Yuck.
28
00:00:49,626 --> 00:00:50,809
She hates that word.
29
00:00:50,897 --> 00:00:51,980
Grosses me out, too,
30
00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:54,496
and I spend a lot of my time
covered in afterbirth.
31
00:00:57,846 --> 00:00:59,461
Everything okay?
32
00:00:59,549 --> 00:01:01,527
Um...
that was weird.
33
00:01:01,615 --> 00:01:03,699
Those little people
with the full-size baby?
34
00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:06,621
No, when the doctor
called you my husband.
35
00:01:06,763 --> 00:01:08,918
Well,
people are gonna assume...
36
00:01:09,006 --> 00:01:12,035
No, it... it was weird
because I...
37
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:13,223
liked it.
38
00:01:13,311 --> 00:01:15,512
Seriously? Because I proposed,
like, six times.
39
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:16,647
I know. I just...
40
00:01:16,735 --> 00:01:18,574
It seemed so old-fashioned
at the time,
41
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,429
but... when I thought
that the babies were coming,
42
00:01:21,517 --> 00:01:22,629
I-I...
43
00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:25,160
Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
44
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:30,316
I'm gonna need
a little help here.
45
00:01:30,638 --> 00:01:31,752
Okay.
46
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,301
Okay, we're good.
47
00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:37,473
Dylan Stardust Marshall,
will you...
48
00:01:37,561 --> 00:01:39,137
Oh! Going over.
Okay. Okay.
49
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,527
I'm fine. I'm fine.
It's okay.
50
00:01:41,888 --> 00:01:43,152
Will you marry me?
51
00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:44,290
Oh, my God.
52
00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,488
This is exactly
how I imagined it.
53
00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:48,113
Captions by VITAC...
54
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,199
Sync corrections by srjanapala
55
00:01:55,307 --> 00:01:56,934
*MODERN FAMILY*
Season 10 Episode 20
56
00:01:57,022 --> 00:01:58,559
*MODERN FAMILY*
Episode Title: "Can't Elope"
57
00:01:59,903 --> 00:02:01,035
I can't get in!
58
00:02:01,098 --> 00:02:02,572
Damn it, Cam!
We need those tickets!
59
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:03,980
- Come on, refresh.
- I am!
60
00:02:04,068 --> 00:02:06,254
- Refresh like your life depends on it!
- I am!
61
00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:08,017
Tonight is
the L.A. premiere
62
00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:10,275
of "Sophie's Choice:
The Musical."
63
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:12,057
And it sold out
in seconds,
64
00:02:12,145 --> 00:02:14,908
but the theater reserved
a few amazing house seats
65
00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:15,986
for an online lottery.
66
00:02:16,074 --> 00:02:17,472
And there's a rumor.
Meryl Streep is
67
00:02:17,559 --> 00:02:19,035
going to be
in the audience.
68
00:02:19,124 --> 00:02:20,450
- Oh, my God.
- You have to feel for that
69
00:02:20,537 --> 00:02:21,965
poor actress playing Sophie.
70
00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:24,602
It'd be like me sewing costumes
in front of Bob Mackie.
71
00:02:24,690 --> 00:02:27,418
And the award for the gayest
thing ever said goes to...
72
00:02:28,294 --> 00:02:29,322
- I'm in!
- You are?!
73
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:30,301
We have seats!
Oh, my God!
74
00:02:30,389 --> 00:02:31,068
Oh, oh!
75
00:02:31,156 --> 00:02:32,578
- Focus, focus.
- Okay, all right.
76
00:02:32,666 --> 00:02:34,214
Okay, it's one of those
ticking clock things.
77
00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:36,277
That's fine. We just need
my... credit card.
78
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:37,942
Where's my wallet?
Where... Where's my wall...
79
00:02:38,029 --> 00:02:39,534
- Where's my wallet?!
- Seriously? Again?
80
00:02:39,621 --> 00:02:41,036
Cam, you have to leave it
in one place!
81
00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:42,182
I told you
a thousand times!
82
00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:43,401
Really? Now?
83
00:02:43,489 --> 00:02:45,191
Okay, just use
your credit card.
84
00:02:45,279 --> 00:02:46,326
That's weird.
85
00:02:46,414 --> 00:02:48,785
Okay. I'm gonna be sick.
I'm gonna be sick!
86
00:02:48,882 --> 00:02:51,230
- Here... use mine.
- Oh! Thank you, sweetie.
87
00:02:51,318 --> 00:02:52,566
Okay.
Okay. All right.
88
00:02:54,487 --> 00:02:55,324
Is this a sign?
89
00:02:55,412 --> 00:02:56,767
Yes! We are meant
to see the show!
90
00:02:56,855 --> 00:02:58,271
No, it's one of those
CAPTCHA things.
91
00:02:58,358 --> 00:02:59,238
Is that
a road sign?!
92
00:02:59,325 --> 00:03:00,457
- Yes!
- I don't know.
93
00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:01,608
Yes.
94
00:03:01,695 --> 00:03:02,776
Oh! Ohh! Aah!
95
00:03:02,863 --> 00:03:04,410
Oh, my God!
96
00:03:04,497 --> 00:03:06,556
Oh, thank you, sweetie.
You saved us.
97
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,142
It's fine.
I needed the miles.
98
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,238
Thank you.
99
00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:10,584
Where's she off to?
100
00:03:10,671 --> 00:03:12,144
- I'm sure it's fine.
- Okay.
101
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:15,855
How about this one?
102
00:03:15,943 --> 00:03:17,175
You look gorgeous.
103
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,204
Now, remember...
104
00:03:18,292 --> 00:03:19,749
Okay, this is not
my first time
105
00:03:19,837 --> 00:03:21,468
impressing
your business associates.
106
00:03:21,556 --> 00:03:22,628
I know the drill.
107
00:03:22,716 --> 00:03:24,865
Laugh at their jokes,
touch their arms...
108
00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:26,229
Yeah, and if
he pees on the floor,
109
00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:27,330
don't make
a big deal out of it.
110
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,597
What is happening?
111
00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:30,283
I quit the closet game
112
00:03:30,371 --> 00:03:33,574
to become the king
of high-end, whimsical dog beds.
113
00:03:33,662 --> 00:03:36,066
And to market them today,
I'm hosting
114
00:03:36,154 --> 00:03:38,903
social-media influencer
Arthur Goodboy.
115
00:03:39,032 --> 00:03:40,146
This little stud
116
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:43,349
has over 5 million followers
on the Instagram.
117
00:03:43,436 --> 00:03:46,410
One photo of him with a product
can be a game-changer.
118
00:03:46,498 --> 00:03:49,480
You made me change three times
for a dog?
119
00:03:49,568 --> 00:03:51,058
He cannot even
see this color!
120
00:03:51,146 --> 00:03:52,753
They can sense
the effort!
121
00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,508
Welcome! Welcome.
I'm Jay Pritchett.
122
00:03:58,658 --> 00:04:00,606
Hello. This is my wife, Gloria.
123
00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:01,701
Hello.
124
00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:03,144
Orson Funt.
125
00:04:03,232 --> 00:04:05,214
I'm sure everyone knows
Arthur Goodboy.
126
00:04:05,302 --> 00:04:08,136
Who doesn't? And I must admit,
I'm a little starstruck.
127
00:04:08,224 --> 00:04:09,144
Don't be.
128
00:04:09,232 --> 00:04:11,501
He puts on his sweaters
one leg at a time.
129
00:04:12,422 --> 00:04:15,423
And this is Stella
of Dog Beds by Stella,
130
00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:17,274
but I do
most of the design.
131
00:04:18,347 --> 00:04:20,546
Well. She is beautiful
for a non-pro.
132
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:21,187
May I?
133
00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:22,656
- Here you go.
- Yes.
134
00:04:22,743 --> 00:04:23,657
- May I?
- Oh, yeah.
135
00:04:23,744 --> 00:04:24,876
- Thank you.
- Oh, yes.
136
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,045
Present!
Present.
137
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,149
Who's a lovely lady?
138
00:04:28,237 --> 00:04:29,683
Who's a lovely lady?
139
00:04:29,771 --> 00:04:31,819
Who's an elegant boy?
Who's an influencer?
140
00:04:31,924 --> 00:04:33,690
Ooh, you are!
You are!
141
00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:35,493
Who's an influencer?
You are!
142
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,654
You want to see
the dog beds?
143
00:04:37,742 --> 00:04:39,076
Yes.
Follow me.
144
00:04:40,295 --> 00:04:41,643
He's a good father.
145
00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:43,010
He's a good father.
146
00:04:48,614 --> 00:04:49,911
Sir...
147
00:04:50,502 --> 00:04:52,107
a dog in a pineapple?
148
00:04:52,388 --> 00:04:53,489
Love!
149
00:04:53,651 --> 00:04:55,871
I call that one
"Puppy Colada."
150
00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,112
- Stop!
- Yes, stop.
151
00:04:58,526 --> 00:05:00,474
So, what do you say?
Are we in business?
152
00:05:00,539 --> 00:05:01,539
Oh!
153
00:05:01,784 --> 00:05:02,740
Oh, down boy.
154
00:05:02,828 --> 00:05:04,241
I like to make sure
that Arthur Goodboy
155
00:05:04,328 --> 00:05:06,743
really loves the product
before we do any endorsements.
156
00:05:06,831 --> 00:05:07,881
If we said yes
to everything,
157
00:05:07,968 --> 00:05:09,865
then we're no better
than that whore Grumpy Cat.
158
00:05:09,953 --> 00:05:11,355
Here, try this one.
159
00:05:11,473 --> 00:05:13,246
Okay,
Mr. Arthur Goodboy.
160
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:15,578
Why don't you just
trot yourself right in there
161
00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:17,051
and take a load off?
162
00:05:17,285 --> 00:05:18,410
Hm.
163
00:05:18,498 --> 00:05:21,191
You know, he just woke up
from a nap, so...
164
00:05:21,375 --> 00:05:23,895
he will probably tucker out
in a couple of hours.
165
00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:25,958
It's cool, 'cause I have
nowhere I need to be.
166
00:05:26,046 --> 00:05:27,324
You don't say.
167
00:05:27,412 --> 00:05:28,801
Oh, it's spacious.
168
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,828
Haley?
169
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,121
Over here!
170
00:05:33,885 --> 00:05:35,198
Mom's not with you,
right?
171
00:05:35,286 --> 00:05:36,801
No.
What's going on?
172
00:05:36,889 --> 00:05:38,071
What could you
have possibly done
173
00:05:38,158 --> 00:05:39,177
that's worse
than getting pregnant?
174
00:05:39,264 --> 00:05:40,723
Well, Dylan and I
are eloping,
175
00:05:40,811 --> 00:05:42,426
and we want you
to be the witness.
176
00:05:43,363 --> 00:05:44,746
Oh, my God! Yes!
177
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,699
Oh, I can't even tell you
how special this makes me feel.
178
00:05:47,787 --> 00:05:49,105
I will not tell anyone.
I...
179
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,114
Wait. Why eloping?
Why not a wedding?
180
00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:52,840
We just want it
to be simple and quick.
181
00:05:52,928 --> 00:05:54,020
And no drama.
182
00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:55,758
- Guess that eliminates Mom.
- Yeah.
183
00:05:55,846 --> 00:05:57,004
What eliminates Mom?
184
00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:58,551
Oh, um...
185
00:05:58,639 --> 00:06:00,730
You know, uh... You know, it...
It's so funny when...
186
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:03,152
When people do such,
um, funny...
187
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,855
You know,
the story is so short,
188
00:06:04,943 --> 00:06:06,429
- but it... it... it would be so long...
- Enough, enough.
189
00:06:06,516 --> 00:06:07,772
I cannot watch this.
190
00:06:07,912 --> 00:06:10,113
Aw. I felt like she was
building to something.
191
00:06:10,247 --> 00:06:13,855
Dylan and I are going to
the courthouse to get married.
192
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:16,433
Wow.
193
00:06:16,521 --> 00:06:18,027
It's nothing personal,
you know?
194
00:06:18,115 --> 00:06:20,293
It's just... right now,
the last thing we want
195
00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,332
is it to turn into
a big production.
196
00:06:22,436 --> 00:06:25,252
Well, honey,
if that's what you want,
197
00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:28,098
as your mother, obviously,
it's incredibly painful,
198
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,020
but that...
that's none of your concern.
199
00:06:30,108 --> 00:06:33,020
I just hope you have a wedding
that's every bit
200
00:06:33,108 --> 00:06:36,191
as wonderful and beautiful
as I always imagined.
201
00:06:36,335 --> 00:06:38,771
You know... when I was
gonna be part of it.
202
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,512
I knew she'd be cool.
203
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:42,809
Yeah!
Let's roll.
204
00:06:42,897 --> 00:06:44,379
Mom seemed
pretty bummed about it,
205
00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:45,630
but, you know,
this is what we want.
206
00:06:45,717 --> 00:06:46,717
Totally!
207
00:06:47,613 --> 00:06:48,914
Damn it!
208
00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:53,545
How could you do this
to your mother?
209
00:06:55,159 --> 00:06:57,371
Ugh. What's taking them
so long?
210
00:06:57,474 --> 00:06:59,411
I know. It's, like, this wedding
isn't about them.
211
00:06:59,498 --> 00:07:01,127
It's
about you and Dylan and me!
212
00:07:01,215 --> 00:07:02,299
Coming!
213
00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:03,387
So sorry.
214
00:07:03,475 --> 00:07:04,622
And don't worry, Haley.
215
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:08,348
I promise you will hardly know
we are there at all.
216
00:07:08,436 --> 00:07:09,965
What? You're dressed nicer
than me.
217
00:07:10,053 --> 00:07:11,689
Well, I wasn't gonna say
anything, but are you sure
218
00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:13,425
that's the outfit you want
for your special day?
219
00:07:13,512 --> 00:07:15,973
It's Haley's wedding.
She can dress as bad as she wants.
220
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:16,895
Right.
221
00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:17,988
Who died?
222
00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,559
Haley and Dylan
are getting married.
223
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:20,754
Dressed like that?
224
00:07:20,842 --> 00:07:22,223
Now I have to
invite Luke?
225
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,425
Not if
you don't want to.
226
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,613
This feels great.
227
00:07:24,701 --> 00:07:27,284
Okay, that is it.
Luke, but no one else.
228
00:07:27,422 --> 00:07:29,504
Hey, so, my mom found out
your parents are coming,
229
00:07:29,619 --> 00:07:31,465
'cause I told her,
and now she's on her way.
230
00:07:31,553 --> 00:07:32,629
And Grandpa's coming.
231
00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:33,980
You guys
are gonna love him.
232
00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:35,949
Oh, but if he asks you
to kill him, don't.
233
00:07:36,037 --> 00:07:37,676
- Ugh!
- I know what you're thinking.
234
00:07:37,764 --> 00:07:38,996
That is a lot of people
235
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,254
for a small, impersonal room
at the courthouse,
236
00:07:41,342 --> 00:07:43,992
and we are
on the same page.
237
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,428
So... why don't we
just do it here?
238
00:07:46,516 --> 00:07:48,623
I'm ordained.
I can perform the ceremony.
239
00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:50,474
That is
such a great idea!
240
00:07:50,562 --> 00:07:52,334
That way,
it's easy and intimate.
241
00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:54,021
I mean, that's
what you wanted, right?
242
00:07:54,109 --> 00:07:55,521
So, go down
to the courthouse,
243
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,590
get your marriage license,
come back here,
244
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,060
and we'll all
be waiting.
245
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:01,224
Fine.
But let's go now.
246
00:08:01,312 --> 00:08:02,944
I'm starving, and they make
a great soft pretzel
247
00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:04,038
at the courthouse
snack shop.
248
00:08:04,125 --> 00:08:05,289
How do you
know that?
249
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:06,592
I can still elope.
250
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,728
Don't you ruin this for me.
251
00:08:07,815 --> 00:08:09,146
It's fine.
It's fine.
252
00:08:10,662 --> 00:08:11,676
Wait.
253
00:08:12,396 --> 00:08:13,708
If Dylan's bringing
his grandfather,
254
00:08:13,795 --> 00:08:15,723
that means we have to invite
Dad and Gloria, right?
255
00:08:15,810 --> 00:08:16,749
I think so, yeah.
256
00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:18,973
But he probably won't show.
Jay hates last-minute plans.
257
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,520
He'll be like, "Oh,
geez, why don't they just elope?"
258
00:08:20,607 --> 00:08:21,509
Hm.
259
00:08:21,612 --> 00:08:22,881
Grandpa?
260
00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:27,238
Who's a goody-woody boy?
261
00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:29,028
Who's a sleepy boy?
262
00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:30,596
I never thought
I'd say this,
263
00:08:30,683 --> 00:08:32,943
but I miss
Jay's toxic masculinity.
264
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,279
At least he's not
your real father.
265
00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,403
I'll get it! I got it!
I'll get it!
266
00:08:39,297 --> 00:08:40,711
- Hello?
- Hey, Gloria.
267
00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:43,391
Haley and Dylan decided
to get married this afternoon,
268
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,728
and I know Dad's got
that dog-bed thing,
269
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:48,032
so absolutely no pressure.
270
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,255
Yes. We will be there
as soon as we can.
271
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,813
Jay, I am so sorry
to break up
272
00:08:52,901 --> 00:08:55,483
this really fun
and super normal party,
273
00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:59,105
but Dylan and Haley decided
to get married right now,
274
00:08:59,193 --> 00:09:00,711
and Claire
wants us there.
275
00:09:00,799 --> 00:09:02,714
Oh, geez,
why don't they just elope?
276
00:09:02,802 --> 00:09:05,641
Actually, Arthur Goodboy
loves weddings,
277
00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:08,290
and his followers have been
dying to see him in his new tux.
278
00:09:08,378 --> 00:09:10,426
I-I can bring a bed
in case he gets tired.
279
00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:11,514
Ooh!
280
00:09:13,057 --> 00:09:15,079
Ooh, look.
Somebody's got a crush.
281
00:09:15,197 --> 00:09:17,165
Would Miss Stella
do us the honor
282
00:09:17,253 --> 00:09:19,391
of escorting Arthur Goodboy
to the wedding?!
283
00:09:19,479 --> 00:09:22,181
Gosh, yes!
A thousand times yes!
284
00:09:25,549 --> 00:09:27,028
Well. You're not
gonna believe this.
285
00:09:27,116 --> 00:09:27,932
They're coming.
286
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,069
Well, if they're coming,
does that mean
287
00:09:29,163 --> 00:09:30,415
we need to invite
Mitch and Cam?
288
00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:32,688
Ooh. Imagine the drama
if we didn't.
289
00:09:32,791 --> 00:09:34,028
♪ Who should I choose? ♪
290
00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:35,483
♪ Either way, I lose ♪
291
00:09:35,571 --> 00:09:36,848
♪ I stare at the gun ♪
292
00:09:36,936 --> 00:09:38,881
♪ Is it daughter,
is it son? ♪
293
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:39,876
♪ Choices ♪
294
00:09:39,964 --> 00:09:41,045
- ♪ Impossible choices ♪
- ♪ Choices ♪
295
00:09:41,132 --> 00:09:42,479
- ♪ Impossible choices ♪
- ♪ Impossible ♪
296
00:09:42,566 --> 00:09:43,665
- ♪ Choices ♪
- ♪ Choices ♪
297
00:09:43,753 --> 00:09:45,547
This is why
I can't have friends over.
298
00:09:45,635 --> 00:09:46,408
Okay.
299
00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:47,443
Somebody
just snarked her way
300
00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:48,645
out of
a "Sophie's Choice" hoodie!
301
00:09:48,732 --> 00:09:49,790
That's right.
302
00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:52,225
Hey, Claire. What's up?
303
00:09:52,313 --> 00:09:54,695
So, Haley and Dylan
decided to get married,
304
00:09:54,783 --> 00:09:56,566
and they'd be devastated
if you weren't there.
305
00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:58,369
Oh, of course! We wouldn't
miss it for the world!
306
00:09:58,456 --> 00:09:59,436
Just tell us when.
307
00:09:59,538 --> 00:10:00,756
In about an hour.
308
00:10:00,844 --> 00:10:02,493
Oh, my... Um...
Hey, uh, let...
309
00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:04,329
Let me call you right back, okay?
310
00:10:04,417 --> 00:10:05,598
Are you kidding me?!
311
00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:07,382
I know! What do we do...
A musical or the wedding?
312
00:10:07,469 --> 00:10:08,475
It's the cruelest
decision
313
00:10:08,563 --> 00:10:10,225
anyone's ever
been forced to make.
314
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,184
- Hello? We are here!
- Knock! Knock!
315
00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:16,123
Hi.
316
00:10:16,211 --> 00:10:17,309
Hi! Wow!
317
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:18,644
What is all this?
318
00:10:18,732 --> 00:10:19,553
Hey, Claire.
319
00:10:19,641 --> 00:10:20,717
This is Orson
320
00:10:20,805 --> 00:10:23,342
and, of course,
Arthur Goodboy.
321
00:10:23,474 --> 00:10:25,100
Thanks for having us.
We love love.
322
00:10:25,188 --> 00:10:26,136
Mm-hmm.
323
00:10:26,224 --> 00:10:27,606
Dad, can you come over here
a second?
324
00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:29,141
Um... Hey, Stella.
325
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,238
So, listen,
I don't think Haley
326
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,733
wants to come back to a house
full of strangers and dogs.
327
00:10:33,821 --> 00:10:34,929
Claire,
I've got to have this,
328
00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:36,776
and she's never gonna know
they're even here.
329
00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:39,670
Okay,
that's bad timing.
330
00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:41,320
Okay, okay, let's...
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
331
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:42,428
Let's go.
Let's get it going.
332
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:44,120
What's your hurry?
I thought you...
333
00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:45,602
guys love weddings.
334
00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:47,440
You were gonna say "you people,"
weren't you?
335
00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:48,264
Prove it.
336
00:10:48,352 --> 00:10:49,444
We have
theater tickets,
337
00:10:49,532 --> 00:10:50,726
and if we get
this wedding started,
338
00:10:50,813 --> 00:10:52,637
we can still make curtain
for "Sophie's Choice."
339
00:10:52,725 --> 00:10:54,249
I would murder
my entire family
340
00:10:54,337 --> 00:10:55,747
and all of their friends
to see that musical.
341
00:10:55,835 --> 00:10:57,084
This guy gets it.
342
00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:59,459
Hey-oh!
Look who's here!
343
00:10:59,547 --> 00:11:01,670
Don't worry.
I'm wearing pants.
344
00:11:01,975 --> 00:11:03,428
As far as you know.
345
00:11:03,516 --> 00:11:05,198
Oh, well,
hello, Frank.
346
00:11:05,286 --> 00:11:07,491
And thank you
for... sort of making it.
347
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,530
Really?
Well, you invited your dad.
348
00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:11,873
What was I supposed to do?
I don't know.
349
00:11:11,961 --> 00:11:13,311
Hey!
Is that Arthur Goodboy?
350
00:11:13,402 --> 00:11:14,498
Big fan!
351
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,217
Been waiting to see him
in his tux.
352
00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:17,845
- Hi, Frank...
- Farrah.
353
00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:19,712
- Phil.
- It is so delightful to see...
354
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,234
Mm. Okay.
355
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:24,031
Oh. Gosh.
356
00:11:24,119 --> 00:11:25,568
Can you believe our babies
are getting married?
357
00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:26,556
I can.
358
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,970
I saw it in a vision
at a campfire in Peru.
359
00:11:29,058 --> 00:11:30,681
This
is my father, Bert.
360
00:11:30,769 --> 00:11:31,850
Oh, it's such an honor
to...
361
00:11:31,938 --> 00:11:33,665
- Vodka!
- Oh.
362
00:11:35,197 --> 00:11:36,311
What a lovely dress.
363
00:11:36,398 --> 00:11:38,288
It's actually
a shamanic wedding robe
364
00:11:38,376 --> 00:11:39,398
from South America.
365
00:11:39,486 --> 00:11:41,890
I wear it at every ceremony
I officiate.
366
00:11:41,978 --> 00:11:43,437
Ohhh.
This is awkward.
367
00:11:43,525 --> 00:11:44,696
Um...
368
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:46,288
I'm doing the ceremony.
369
00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,001
But this is something I've
dreamed about all of my lives.
370
00:11:49,096 --> 00:11:50,877
Mom, what the hell
is going on?
371
00:11:51,042 --> 00:11:52,319
- Hey!- - Hey!
372
00:11:53,936 --> 00:11:56,075
Oh, honey, honey,
it's not as bad as it looks.
373
00:11:56,163 --> 00:11:59,264
See, it's still
small and simple and...
374
00:11:59,906 --> 00:12:00,987
Not helping.
375
00:12:01,075 --> 00:12:03,385
What? We were gonna
play her down the aisle.
376
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,721
Yeah. Bad luck to get married
without bagpipes.
377
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,124
My mom's first wedding...
No bagpipes.
378
00:12:08,255 --> 00:12:10,823
My mom's second wedding...
Bagpipes.
379
00:12:10,911 --> 00:12:13,318
Six months later,
she's still married.
380
00:12:13,406 --> 00:12:14,820
I mean,
that's just science.
381
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:15,877
Now what?
382
00:12:15,965 --> 00:12:17,885
Oh, well,
we needed food, so...
383
00:12:17,973 --> 00:12:19,182
Hola, lovebirds.
384
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:20,685
Oh,
this is a disaster.
385
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:23,799
I know, but we can't pick
our childhood homes.
386
00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:25,534
Don't worry.
I can fix everything.
387
00:12:25,622 --> 00:12:27,534
Just take your time
changing your clothes.
388
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:28,536
Oh, this is
what I'm wearing.
389
00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:30,151
You're hilarious.
390
00:12:31,099 --> 00:12:33,881
Let me see
the happy couple.
391
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,237
Congratulations, Haley.
392
00:12:36,325 --> 00:12:38,991
Congratulations, Andy.
393
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,602
Excuse me.
Pardon me. Coming through.
394
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:48,127
Sorry. Honey, I know
you're a little annoyed.
395
00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:50,118
Oh, I'm so sorry
I gave you that impression.
396
00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:51,401
I'm a lot annoyed.
397
00:12:51,489 --> 00:12:52,588
But it's better.
398
00:12:52,676 --> 00:12:55,885
This way, you'll be surrounded
by people who love you.
399
00:12:55,973 --> 00:12:57,055
That's her.
400
00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,440
Congratulations!
I am so happy for you.
401
00:13:00,528 --> 00:13:01,299
Luke?
402
00:13:01,387 --> 00:13:02,206
Uh,
this is Annabelle.
403
00:13:02,294 --> 00:13:03,275
We just met
on Tinder.
404
00:13:03,363 --> 00:13:04,961
But we haven't
done anything yet.
405
00:13:05,049 --> 00:13:06,120
Guess what, babies.
406
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,490
You're gonna
taste some wine today!
407
00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:08,604
Hey, hey, hey.
408
00:13:08,692 --> 00:13:09,848
So, if we're gonna
get this thing started,
409
00:13:09,936 --> 00:13:11,162
maybe you should go up
and change, huh?
410
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,996
Oh, for the last time,
this is what I'm...
411
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:13,932
Screw it.
I'm changing.
412
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:15,294
- No, don't... I'm...
- No, don't change, if that's...
413
00:13:15,382 --> 00:13:16,535
- Damn it! What...
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
414
00:13:16,622 --> 00:13:18,059
Gloria, Gloria.
415
00:13:18,302 --> 00:13:19,416
Do me a favor.
416
00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:21,299
Put some salami
in my TV.
417
00:13:21,387 --> 00:13:23,505
Whatever that is a code for,
the answer is no.
418
00:13:23,593 --> 00:13:24,880
Okay, fine.
I'll do it myself.
419
00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:27,198
Keep Orson occupied
for about a minute.
420
00:13:27,286 --> 00:13:28,651
Arthur Goodboy, come.
421
00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:30,127
Arthur Goodboy, come.
422
00:13:30,263 --> 00:13:31,844
Mr. Orson.
423
00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:36,627
Um, I need to know...
Is your whole life your dog?
424
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:38,880
Oh, no. I also dabble
in stand-up comedy.
425
00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:41,676
In fact, I used to try out all
of my material on Arthur Goodboy
426
00:13:41,764 --> 00:13:43,967
until I got in trouble with PETA
for animal testing.
427
00:13:45,312 --> 00:13:46,394
Ay!
428
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:47,597
Speaking of,
where is Arthur?
429
00:13:47,684 --> 00:13:48,886
I'm sure he's fine.
430
00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:50,323
Arthur? Arthur?
431
00:13:50,411 --> 00:13:53,239
He's in the family room,
wolfing down some cold cuts.
432
00:13:53,327 --> 00:13:54,802
No, no, no.
He can't digest that.
433
00:13:55,028 --> 00:13:56,242
And that tuxedo
is rented.
434
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,499
No, please! Wait!
435
00:14:00,192 --> 00:14:01,695
Aah! Stop!
436
00:14:01,783 --> 00:14:02,570
Stop? What, no!
437
00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,816
He's enjoying the bed.
No, he loves it in there.
438
00:14:04,963 --> 00:14:05,984
Don't.
439
00:14:06,072 --> 00:14:07,000
The robot
told me everything.
440
00:14:07,088 --> 00:14:08,131
Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought
441
00:14:08,218 --> 00:14:09,312
- once he got...
- - Stop! Unh!
442
00:14:09,399 --> 00:14:10,617
I will stay
for the wedding
443
00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:13,195
so as not to ruin
Halsey and Derek's special day,
444
00:14:13,347 --> 00:14:15,483
but this partnership
is off.
445
00:14:17,654 --> 00:14:18,734
What am I doing?
446
00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:20,297
Making a fool
of yourself...
447
00:14:20,385 --> 00:14:22,461
What you have done
the whole day.
448
00:14:22,549 --> 00:14:24,297
Yeah.
I'm acting like an idiot.
449
00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:26,257
I mean,
this was a stupid idea,
450
00:14:26,345 --> 00:14:28,527
trying to launch
a whole new business at my age.
451
00:14:28,615 --> 00:14:29,890
I thought
it would be fun,
452
00:14:29,978 --> 00:14:32,187
but I should've known
I-I need to hang it up.
453
00:14:32,976 --> 00:14:34,336
I need a second.
454
00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:37,951
Dog beds
are ridiculous and sad.
455
00:14:38,039 --> 00:14:39,632
But they're important to Jay.
456
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,636
So I guess that loving someone
means that you have to respect
457
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,491
their idiotic,
nauseating dreams.
458
00:14:45,694 --> 00:14:47,178
Hey, old-timer.
459
00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:48,581
I dig those wheels.
460
00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:51,852
Why is this vacuum cleaner
talking to me?!
461
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,585
Okay, we are definitely
cutting it close,
462
00:14:53,673 --> 00:14:54,788
but I think
we're gonna make it.
463
00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:56,531
You know, it's just that,
uh, traditionally,
464
00:14:56,618 --> 00:14:58,267
the father of the bride
calls the shots at these things.
465
00:14:58,354 --> 00:14:59,947
Oh, my goddess, Phil.
466
00:15:00,035 --> 00:15:02,651
By all means, let's return
to traditional weddings.
467
00:15:02,807 --> 00:15:05,306
Perhaps you'd like to discuss
the matter of Haley's dowry.
468
00:15:05,394 --> 00:15:07,424
Are you prepared
to offer livestock or land?
469
00:15:07,512 --> 00:15:08,994
Farrah,
I would defer to you
470
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,630
if this were happening
in your yurt.
471
00:15:10,718 --> 00:15:11,861
Fine.
472
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:14,566
We'll settle this
over a game of acorns.
473
00:15:15,159 --> 00:15:16,784
Put out your hands.
474
00:15:16,991 --> 00:15:19,050
Acorns, speak.
475
00:15:20,033 --> 00:15:21,980
Oh. Sorry, Phil.
476
00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:23,324
Best of 3.
What am I doing?
477
00:15:23,412 --> 00:15:25,253
Okay,
both of you, stop!
478
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,816
You can both officiate,
all right?
479
00:15:26,904 --> 00:15:28,819
Yeah, but won't that take
twice as long?
480
00:15:28,907 --> 00:15:30,817
Uh, whoever's officiating,
if you can carve out some time
481
00:15:30,904 --> 00:15:32,495
for a poem
I've written.
482
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,028
It's sort of a "Beowulf"
meets "You've Got Mail."
483
00:15:34,115 --> 00:15:35,308
- Oh, God, no! No poems!
- No!
484
00:15:35,396 --> 00:15:36,185
- Nobody wants a poem!
- No one wants that!
485
00:15:36,273 --> 00:15:38,043
- Come on! Let's move this thing along!
- Get it going!
486
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:39,885
You need to give
your "Sophie's Choice" ticket
487
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,189
to the dog weirdo.
488
00:15:41,277 --> 00:15:42,976
My dad wants
to see a musical?
489
00:15:43,063 --> 00:15:44,644
No,
the other dog weirdo.
490
00:15:44,731 --> 00:15:47,380
Didn't you see how excited
he got when he heard about it?
491
00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:49,149
Yeah, well, that's not
happening. No, thank you.
492
00:15:49,236 --> 00:15:51,353
Think about
all the sacrifices
493
00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:53,320
that your father
has made for you.
494
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:54,487
Oh,
I just don't care.
495
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:56,027
You're not gonna make it
anyways.
496
00:15:56,115 --> 00:15:58,065
Y-Yes, we are, 'cause
the wedding's about to start.
497
00:15:58,152 --> 00:15:59,269
- Here they come.
- Is it?
498
00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:00,605
Excuse me.
499
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:04,089
Um, before we start
this beautiful ceremony,
500
00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:05,980
why don't we
go around the room
501
00:16:06,075 --> 00:16:08,972
and talk about
what this wedding means
502
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,207
- to us?
- Yeah, I don't think anybody
503
00:16:10,294 --> 00:16:11,152
- wants to be put on the spot.
- No.
504
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,199
Let's just get on
with the wedding.
505
00:16:12,287 --> 00:16:15,137
To me, a marriage is not
just the joining of two hearts.
506
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,019
It's the melding
of families.
507
00:16:17,107 --> 00:16:18,386
And can I
just say this...
508
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:19,845
- No! Sit down!
- No! Sit down!
509
00:16:22,787 --> 00:16:23,956
Hey.
510
00:16:24,411 --> 00:16:26,706
Go on, go on.
There you go.
511
00:16:26,824 --> 00:16:29,027
Are those...
packing peanuts?
512
00:16:29,115 --> 00:16:30,830
I had 10 minutes
and no budget.
513
00:16:30,918 --> 00:16:32,605
- This is happening.
- Yep.
514
00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:35,191
What's this dog doing to Stella?
515
00:16:35,279 --> 00:16:36,581
Bad dog!
No humping!
516
00:16:36,669 --> 00:16:38,191
Don't shame him!
That's her fault.
517
00:16:38,279 --> 00:16:39,489
She's wagging her hips
in his face!
518
00:16:39,576 --> 00:16:40,636
That's her dysplasia.
519
00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:41,878
And it's 2019.
520
00:16:41,966 --> 00:16:43,100
What he did
is not okay!
521
00:16:43,188 --> 00:16:44,855
Uh-oh.
Am I moving?
522
00:16:44,943 --> 00:16:46,444
Something's stuck!
523
00:16:48,097 --> 00:16:50,177
- Phil, I'm falling!
- See, this... this...
524
00:16:50,265 --> 00:16:51,771
This is why
I didn't want anyone here!
525
00:16:51,859 --> 00:16:53,630
This is why
I wanted to elope!
526
00:16:53,718 --> 00:16:56,661
Haley, I know you're upset,
but this is your family.
527
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:57,732
Who are you?!
528
00:16:57,820 --> 00:16:59,201
Okay, enough!
Enough.
529
00:16:59,289 --> 00:17:00,990
Dylan, Haley,
in the kitchen... now!
530
00:17:01,138 --> 00:17:01,988
Nice shoes!
531
00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:03,745
I am, uh, so sorry,
folks.
532
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:05,339
This is... This is gonna
take a little while.
533
00:17:05,427 --> 00:17:07,199
Maybe Alex and Bill
can play something.
534
00:17:07,287 --> 00:17:08,409
- No! No!
- No! No!
535
00:17:08,497 --> 00:17:10,246
- We're not gonna make it, are we?
- Okay, no.
536
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,239
- We're not gonna make it!
- It... It doesn't look like it.
537
00:17:12,326 --> 00:17:13,706
Hey, um...
538
00:17:13,794 --> 00:17:16,154
Hi. My dad wanted you
to have these tickets.
539
00:17:16,242 --> 00:17:18,042
Great Danes!
Thank you!
540
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:20,716
Not so fast.
You still have something to do.
541
00:17:22,768 --> 00:17:23,917
Listen.
Listen to me.
542
00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,451
I don't want
to hear it, Mom.
543
00:17:26,162 --> 00:17:27,076
Run.
544
00:17:27,235 --> 00:17:28,597
- What?!
- Yeah.
545
00:17:28,685 --> 00:17:30,980
We're really sorry
that this all got away from us.
546
00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:34,050
But all we care about
is that you're happy.
547
00:17:34,138 --> 00:17:36,820
And you should have
the wedding you want.
548
00:17:37,482 --> 00:17:38,816
Your mom's right.
549
00:17:39,814 --> 00:17:41,374
We eloped,
and I still think of it
550
00:17:41,462 --> 00:17:43,366
as one of the best days
of my life.
551
00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:45,874
It still seems like
the last day we were alone.
552
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,454
Wow.
553
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:48,729
That's...
554
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,292
Oh, honey.
555
00:17:50,380 --> 00:17:51,894
The four of you
better get going, huh?
556
00:17:51,982 --> 00:17:53,063
Yeah.
557
00:17:53,284 --> 00:17:54,561
Ohh, my babies.
558
00:17:54,649 --> 00:17:56,178
- I love you, guys.
- Love you, guys.
559
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,162
Bye. Bye.
560
00:18:01,444 --> 00:18:02,663
You okay?
561
00:18:03,029 --> 00:18:04,389
Not really, no.
562
00:18:04,811 --> 00:18:06,600
I hate that
we're not gonna be there.
563
00:18:06,782 --> 00:18:09,565
I always assumed
we would be at her wedding.
564
00:18:09,702 --> 00:18:11,067
Is that selfish?
565
00:18:11,334 --> 00:18:12,334
No.
566
00:18:13,039 --> 00:18:14,540
It's only fair.
567
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:16,874
She was at ours.
568
00:18:16,967 --> 00:18:18,801
Mm. She was.
569
00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:22,428
Look at this.
570
00:18:22,516 --> 00:18:25,983
He posted one minute ago.
It's already got 5,000 likes.
571
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:26,985
Thank you.
572
00:18:27,073 --> 00:18:28,811
I love you.
573
00:18:29,029 --> 00:18:32,694
And the only thing less sexy
than a dog bed is a quitter,
574
00:18:32,782 --> 00:18:34,163
and I didn't marry
a quitter.
575
00:18:34,251 --> 00:18:35,233
I married an angel.
576
00:18:35,321 --> 00:18:36,668
Yes, you did!
577
00:18:36,756 --> 00:18:38,975
Could I have
everyone's attention? Um...
578
00:18:39,063 --> 00:18:40,835
I just want to say
that most of you
579
00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:42,337
are very important
to us.
580
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,174
But the wedding's off,
and thanks for coming.
581
00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,484
- What?!
- You got to be kidding me!
582
00:18:45,571 --> 00:18:47,538
- This is an outrage.
- I will never forgive you.
583
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:49,463
Perhaps the two of you
would like to sing a song?
584
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:52,040
- ♪ Choices, impossible ♪
- ♪ Choices, Choices, impossible ♪
585
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:52,999
- ♪ Choices ♪
- ♪ Why are there so many ♪
586
00:18:53,087 --> 00:18:54,569
- ♪ Voices ♪
- ♪ Voices ♪
587
00:18:54,657 --> 00:18:57,457
- ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪
- ♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪
588
00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:01,135
Mom? Dad?
589
00:19:01,462 --> 00:19:02,751
Oh, honey.
590
00:19:02,839 --> 00:19:03,753
Hey.
591
00:19:03,841 --> 00:19:05,121
Hey.
How did it go?
592
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,216
Uh, we... didn't
go through with it.
593
00:19:08,304 --> 00:19:10,556
- What?
We were at this 24-hour chapel,
594
00:19:10,644 --> 00:19:13,136
and they called our names,
but...
595
00:19:13,224 --> 00:19:15,013
something about it
just didn't feel right.
596
00:19:15,657 --> 00:19:17,743
Sweetheart, it's okay.
597
00:19:17,993 --> 00:19:19,806
You'll know
when it's the right time.
598
00:19:19,894 --> 00:19:20,942
Mm-hmm.
599
00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:23,198
That's why I'm here.
600
00:19:23,605 --> 00:19:25,620
I thought
about what you said
601
00:19:25,972 --> 00:19:27,985
about how I should have
the wedding that I want.
602
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:29,321
Mm-hmm.
603
00:19:29,409 --> 00:19:32,227
Well, the wedding that I want
has you guys there.
604
00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:40,306
And, like
the nuptial antler,
605
00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:43,165
your bond
will never be broken.
606
00:19:44,604 --> 00:19:46,306
Take us home, Phil.
607
00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:55,298
And so, by the powers vested
in me by NoPainOrdain.com,
608
00:19:55,725 --> 00:19:58,165
I pronounce you,
Dylan...
609
00:19:58,253 --> 00:20:00,135
and you, Haley...
610
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:03,796
husband...
611
00:20:04,472 --> 00:20:05,657
...and wife.
612
00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:10,032
Hey!
Kiss her already!
613
00:20:10,223 --> 00:20:12,125
Oh, my God.
614
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,979
- You wanted to talk to me?
- Yeah. Um...
615
00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:19,913
It's been bothering me
the last few days
616
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:22,047
that since they were gonna
elope, Dylan never came to me
617
00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:23,282
and asked for Haley's hand
in marriage.
618
00:20:23,369 --> 00:20:24,413
Yeah.
619
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:25,621
Well, then
it occurred to me that,
620
00:20:25,708 --> 00:20:27,062
since Claire and I
eloped,
621
00:20:27,150 --> 00:20:30,718
I never officially asked you
for her hand in marriage.
622
00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,077
- So, uh...
- So ask me.
623
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:33,753
Okay.
624
00:20:34,175 --> 00:20:35,429
Jay...
625
00:20:35,536 --> 00:20:37,452
I love your daughter very much,
and I would like your...
626
00:20:37,539 --> 00:20:38,609
Nope.
627
00:20:39,978 --> 00:20:41,426
That's very funny.
Um...
628
00:20:41,594 --> 00:20:43,809
But seriously, I would very much
like your blessing...
629
00:20:43,897 --> 00:20:45,913
Sorry. I've got
several concerns.
630
00:20:46,001 --> 00:20:46,882
I'm not on board.
631
00:20:46,977 --> 00:20:49,026
You realize
this is just a-a formality.
632
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:50,422
We've been married
for almost 25 years.
633
00:20:50,509 --> 00:20:52,950
And the entire time,
without my blessing.
634
00:20:53,857 --> 00:20:54,917
Okay, how many dog beds
635
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:55,894
- is this gonna cost me?
- Five.
636
00:20:55,989 --> 00:20:56,800
- Three.
- Four.
637
00:20:56,888 --> 00:20:58,091
Done.
Blessed!
44984
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