All language subtitles for Ally McBeal - 01x19 - Happy Birthday, Baby-eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,013 --> 00:00:07,165 - Come on, she's coming. - She might not want this. 2 00:00:07,413 --> 00:00:11,122 There's nothing worse than not celebrating a birthday. 3 00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:14,370 BILLY: Her birthday's two days away. - Act natural. 4 00:00:14,733 --> 00:00:17,964 - That's natural? - Get in there. 5 00:00:26,453 --> 00:00:28,011 - What? - Nothing. 6 00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:35,607 Surprise! 7 00:00:36,413 --> 00:00:38,768 Surprise! 8 00:00:39,013 --> 00:00:41,163 You really shouldn't have! 9 00:00:41,373 --> 00:00:44,251 - Happy birthday... - No! No! 10 00:00:44,573 --> 00:00:46,609 No happy, no singing. 11 00:00:47,253 --> 00:00:49,608 ALLY: No! It's not my birthday yet. 12 00:00:49,853 --> 00:00:52,048 MAN: Ally McBeal? - Yes? 13 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,131 - I have a summons. - A summons for what? 14 00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,528 A summons for you! 15 00:00:59,933 --> 00:01:02,891 RICHARD: Elaine! - She'll love it! 16 00:01:03,093 --> 00:01:07,928 ["IT'S NOT UNUSUAL" PLAYS] 17 00:01:32,013 --> 00:01:34,481 ELAINE: Oh, come on, Ally! 18 00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:39,806 ELAINE: Make it a happy birthday! 19 00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:54,285 VONDA SINGS: I've been down this road 20 00:01:54,493 --> 00:01:56,723 Happy Birthday, Baby 21 00:01:56,933 --> 00:02:00,482 Walking the line That's painted by pride 22 00:02:00,693 --> 00:02:02,968 And I have made mistakes in my life 23 00:02:03,213 --> 00:02:06,888 That I just can't hide 24 00:02:07,493 --> 00:02:10,087 Oh, I believe I am ready 25 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:14,042 For what love has to bring 26 00:02:15,213 --> 00:02:18,444 I got myself together 27 00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:21,806 Now I'm ready to sing 28 00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:25,204 I've been searching my soul tonight 29 00:02:25,453 --> 00:02:28,763 I know there's so much more to life 30 00:02:29,653 --> 00:02:32,725 Now I know I can shine a light 31 00:02:32,973 --> 00:02:35,931 To find my way back home 32 00:02:36,173 --> 00:02:40,610 Oh, baby, yeah 33 00:02:40,853 --> 00:02:42,332 Oh, yeah 34 00:02:54,773 --> 00:02:59,051 RENEE: What's the big deal about 28? - It's two years from 30. 35 00:02:59,253 --> 00:03:03,246 At 15, I'd look at people who were 30 and think, "Die already." 36 00:03:03,453 --> 00:03:05,603 - And would they? - I'm serious. 37 00:03:05,813 --> 00:03:09,169 I'm strong enough to confront a certain truth. 38 00:03:09,373 --> 00:03:11,682 - What's that? - I'm nothing without my face. 39 00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:14,009 - I see. - It starts cracking at 30. 40 00:03:14,213 --> 00:03:16,681 The reason I look as young as I do is... 41 00:03:16,893 --> 00:03:19,805 ...I had the sense not to smile growing up. 42 00:03:20,013 --> 00:03:22,004 And I stayed out of the sun. 43 00:03:22,213 --> 00:03:23,009 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 44 00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:26,922 No smiles, no sunshine. Got it all figured out. 45 00:03:27,133 --> 00:03:30,250 Hello? Today? No. 46 00:03:30,453 --> 00:03:34,844 I don't care how simple it is. I don't march into trial without... 47 00:03:35,053 --> 00:03:36,168 What? 48 00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:42,723 Henderson? Oh, yes, I do know a little about this. 49 00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:46,130 Yes. Okay, then, I'll see you there. 50 00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:48,927 Henderson? Mark Henderson? 51 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:51,647 Guess who you're up against, twig? 52 00:03:53,453 --> 00:03:56,286 We'll have a party in the bar after work. 53 00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:59,850 ELAINE: I thought maybe we could do a number. 54 00:04:00,053 --> 00:04:03,728 If you want to be a performer, take off your clothes. 55 00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:08,529 She's depressed about her birthday. I've listened in on her calls. 56 00:04:08,733 --> 00:04:10,246 Good. Moving on. 57 00:04:10,453 --> 00:04:13,604 Henderson trial today. How stands the Biscuit? 58 00:04:13,813 --> 00:04:16,646 Battery, yes, but breaking and entering? 59 00:04:16,853 --> 00:04:18,684 - I agree. - He used an open door. 60 00:04:19,373 --> 00:04:22,251 I doubt we'll settle. Renee has the case. 61 00:04:22,453 --> 00:04:23,806 - What? ALLY: Yeah. 62 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:29,007 D.A. Loeb left the office. Renee got the case, which isn't good. 63 00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:31,003 [WHISTLES] 64 00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:33,726 [WHISTLES] 65 00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:38,764 I know it's there. It's a fashion thing. 66 00:04:38,973 --> 00:04:40,770 What about insanity? 67 00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:44,727 - A fetish doesn't make him insane. - He's a perv, Richard. 68 00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,401 MAN: I heard that. - Mark, hey! 69 00:04:47,613 --> 00:04:49,490 So I'm a perv, am I? 70 00:04:49,693 --> 00:04:52,730 Oh, no. That's a legal term. 71 00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:57,848 Perv: Protective evidentiary retroactive... Vicky. 72 00:04:58,253 --> 00:05:00,926 - Vicky? - Vidi, Veni, Vicky. Team motto. 73 00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:04,011 We'll win. John, Ally, meet with him. 74 00:05:07,773 --> 00:05:08,808 Hi. 75 00:05:13,693 --> 00:05:15,251 It was 3:32 a.m. 76 00:05:15,453 --> 00:05:19,366 - I have a clock on my nightstand. RENEE: And you were awake? 77 00:05:19,573 --> 00:05:22,963 Not at first. I was asleep when it started. 78 00:05:23,213 --> 00:05:26,762 Okay. I want you to tell us exactly what happened. 79 00:05:26,973 --> 00:05:30,807 CHERYL: Like I said, I was sleeping and then, at first... 80 00:05:31,013 --> 00:05:33,368 ...I felt a draft on my foot. 81 00:05:33,613 --> 00:05:35,808 CHERYL: And then a tickle. - A tickle? 82 00:05:36,533 --> 00:05:40,890 That's what woke me. I felt this tickle on my left foot. 83 00:05:41,373 --> 00:05:45,730 CHERYL: I looked and the covers had been peeled away, exposing my foot. 84 00:05:45,933 --> 00:05:48,811 - What else? CHERYL: I saw a figure in darkness. 85 00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:53,609 I thought I was dreaming. But as my eyes adjusted I could see... 86 00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:55,724 - What did you see? - I saw him! 87 00:05:55,933 --> 00:05:58,163 CHERYL: That man! RENEE: And what was he doing? 88 00:05:58,373 --> 00:05:59,965 - Tickling me! - And then? 89 00:06:00,173 --> 00:06:03,324 I screamed as loud as I could and he ran out. 90 00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:05,410 - Then what? - I dialed 911. 91 00:06:05,613 --> 00:06:08,332 I told the police a man tickled my foot. 92 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:13,092 - This man was no stranger, was he? - No. 93 00:06:13,293 --> 00:06:17,252 - You'd gone out on three dates. - Even so... 94 00:06:17,453 --> 00:06:20,251 And your door wasn't locked, was it? 95 00:06:20,453 --> 00:06:25,527 - That gives him the right to sneak in? - My point is, nothing was broken. 96 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:30,249 - He opened the door and entered. CHERYL: Uninvited, in the night. 97 00:06:30,453 --> 00:06:33,092 Ms. Bonner... Cheryl. 98 00:06:34,413 --> 00:06:35,732 During your dates... 99 00:06:35,933 --> 00:06:41,087 ...didn't you tell him that you liked foot massages? 100 00:06:46,213 --> 00:06:51,412 - You don't need this notarized? - No. All four copies need signatures. 101 00:06:52,853 --> 00:06:57,051 It's not in my nature to leech advice, but a pain here. 102 00:06:57,253 --> 00:07:01,212 - Could it be appendicitis? - Could be. Get it checked out. 103 00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,052 - Do you check for appendicitis? - At work. 104 00:07:04,253 --> 00:07:07,802 And for appendicitis, you'd need to do a pelvic? 105 00:07:08,573 --> 00:07:12,122 I'm an ER doctor. I get involved in emergencies. 106 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:15,484 - So I should wait. - All done here. Bye. 107 00:07:15,693 --> 00:07:20,084 For Ally's birthday, we're throwing a surprise party at the bar. 108 00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:23,729 Some of us will sing. You did theater in college? 109 00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:27,403 - I did. - She'd be thrilled if you sang a song. 110 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,969 - I don't sing much anymore. - She'd so love it. 111 00:07:31,173 --> 00:07:34,404 We're having a jam thing, rehearsal, today. 112 00:07:34,613 --> 00:07:38,401 She gets sad. You not sleeping with her made it worse. 113 00:07:38,613 --> 00:07:41,571 - Excuse me? - It would mean a lot to her. 114 00:07:41,773 --> 00:07:43,843 At least think about it. 115 00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:52,809 - Obviously, I'm mortified. - What were you thinking? 116 00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:58,041 We'd just had our third date, and things were going swimmingly. 117 00:07:58,253 --> 00:08:01,609 That gave you the right to accost her foot? 118 00:08:02,053 --> 00:08:06,888 MARK: Well, she had told me that she found foot massages to be erotic. 119 00:08:07,573 --> 00:08:12,363 And she also said that she liked men to surprise her. 120 00:08:12,573 --> 00:08:16,122 She made both representations in one sentence. 121 00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,244 I took this to be a hint. 122 00:08:19,653 --> 00:08:22,770 I'm not going to sit here and be disparaged. 123 00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:26,652 A hint. She says she likes foot rubs. 124 00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:29,765 That's a hint to show up at 3:00 a.m.? 125 00:08:29,973 --> 00:08:34,444 I went to her house and said to myself if it was a hint... 126 00:08:34,653 --> 00:08:38,202 ...and if she did want me to enter... 127 00:08:38,813 --> 00:08:41,771 MARK: ...she would've left the door open. 128 00:08:41,973 --> 00:08:44,726 - So you drove... MARK: I went up to her door. 129 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:49,884 And I put my hand on the doorknob, and I went to turn it. 130 00:08:50,453 --> 00:08:53,092 MARK: And it turned. So I entered. 131 00:08:54,053 --> 00:08:57,363 I went into her room and saw her there, sleeping. 132 00:08:57,813 --> 00:09:02,728 Her little feet were twitching ever so slightly beneath the covers. 133 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:07,692 MARK: Something inside of me said, "Go. Go to her." 134 00:09:07,933 --> 00:09:11,369 And I did. I did. I knelt beside the bed. 135 00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:15,361 I slowly lifted back the blanket. 136 00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:18,569 MARK: Then I lifted back the sheet. 137 00:09:19,613 --> 00:09:21,171 MARK: There it was. 138 00:09:22,133 --> 00:09:24,886 Oh, there it was, Your Honor. 139 00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:29,570 - Her foot. - Not her foot. A specimen of a foot. 140 00:09:29,773 --> 00:09:34,085 The curvature of the arch. It was a goddess... A goddess foot. 141 00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:35,521 What did you do? 142 00:09:35,733 --> 00:09:40,568 I had to touch it. I had to touch it... 143 00:09:41,453 --> 00:09:45,651 ...and I slowly extended my index finger. 144 00:09:46,173 --> 00:09:47,970 I went to her... 145 00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:54,163 ...and I began to digitally caress her. 146 00:10:14,813 --> 00:10:19,967 If I'd known you stay out late, I probably never would've hired you. 147 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,162 Well, tomorrow isn't exactly the biggest of cases. 148 00:10:25,013 --> 00:10:26,844 I think I'll be okay. 149 00:10:28,853 --> 00:10:33,085 - I had another great time. - Me too. 150 00:10:36,173 --> 00:10:38,607 Want to come up for some coffee? 151 00:10:38,813 --> 00:10:42,647 I would love to, but I got rounds. Early morning. 152 00:10:42,853 --> 00:10:44,923 ALLY: Is this guy gay or what? 153 00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:47,852 Well, thanks for walking me home. 154 00:10:48,253 --> 00:10:49,732 Sure. 155 00:11:00,613 --> 00:11:02,490 ALLY: Definitely not gay. 156 00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:07,363 - Greg, come upstairs. - Got those Pips snapping behind you? 157 00:11:07,573 --> 00:11:10,326 This is all me. Come upstairs with me. 158 00:11:11,773 --> 00:11:12,842 You know what? 159 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:16,601 I'll definitely take a rain check on that. 160 00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:29,367 RENEE: How did it go? - It was great. 161 00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:31,972 RENEE: Good. 162 00:11:41,013 --> 00:11:43,766 ELAINE: Yeah, that's the way I like it. 163 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:53,004 I want more bass. When my hips move, I want this room to quake. 164 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:57,047 The bass has to commensurate with my sexuality. 165 00:11:58,013 --> 00:12:00,573 Give me a little snare on my wiggle. 166 00:12:01,453 --> 00:12:03,569 ELAINE SINGS: I'm a woman 167 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,770 W... Greg! 168 00:12:07,053 --> 00:12:10,443 Thanks, guys. Greg. Well? 169 00:12:11,173 --> 00:12:13,448 You think she'd really like it? 170 00:12:13,653 --> 00:12:16,804 She'll need the Bounty "quicker picker-upper." 171 00:12:17,013 --> 00:12:20,528 ELAINE: Will you do it? - I don't know. It's been a while. 172 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:25,485 - Do you all sing like pros? - I do. It's the thought that counts. 173 00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:29,481 If you're no good, I'll tell you. I won't embarrass you. 174 00:12:30,613 --> 00:12:33,571 - Can I use the piano? - Go right ahead. 175 00:12:38,053 --> 00:12:43,207 - The jury was rapt. They are with me. - They were rapt because it was weird. 176 00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:46,450 Don't project your idea of normal onto me. 177 00:12:46,653 --> 00:12:49,008 - Poughkeepsie. - I dislike that word. 178 00:12:49,213 --> 00:12:51,647 - Please don't snap at me. - What's up? 179 00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:56,722 - He won't let us argue insanity. - I'm not insane. I like feet, so what? 180 00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:59,493 - So what? - Men liking breasts is sane? 181 00:12:59,693 --> 00:13:04,369 I mean, to me, breasts are nothing but fleshy lumps of fat. 182 00:13:04,573 --> 00:13:07,007 Now, a foot has character. 183 00:13:07,213 --> 00:13:09,488 - I like wattle. - Excuse me? 184 00:13:09,693 --> 00:13:14,528 Neck wattle. The way it hangs. If you like feet, you'll love wattle. 185 00:13:16,973 --> 00:13:19,533 - Are you making fun of me? - He isn't. 186 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:23,965 I love her, she had me arrested. Do you think that's fun? 187 00:13:24,173 --> 00:13:26,482 Do you think that is great fun? 188 00:13:39,133 --> 00:13:40,805 - You're upset. - I'm not. 189 00:13:41,013 --> 00:13:45,052 - Why are you acting like this? - I get edgy before trial. 190 00:13:45,253 --> 00:13:48,450 - A curler pinched my hair nerve. - Ally. 191 00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,963 Don't "Ally" me. I dislike being "Ally-ed" by men. 192 00:13:52,173 --> 00:13:55,768 - You're angry I didn't go upstairs. - What? 193 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,362 - So? - You think I didn't want to? 194 00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:02,371 What are you waiting for? I'm almost 30. 195 00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:07,126 Oh, no. I read an article about a remote African tribe... 196 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:10,086 ...where women have sex after 30. 197 00:14:10,293 --> 00:14:14,127 Sarcasm is a bad strategy. Did you come to spew sarcasm? 198 00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:17,564 No, I came here to sign my release papers. 199 00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:21,368 Fine. Elaine will help you. I have to go to court. 200 00:14:34,533 --> 00:14:36,171 What are you doing? 201 00:14:36,453 --> 00:14:40,207 Bad day, so I'm splashing cold water on my face. 202 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:44,088 - You're not splashing it on your face. ALLY: Of course not. 203 00:14:44,293 --> 00:14:47,649 If I did it, I'd have to reapply all my makeup. 204 00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:50,845 Another thing about living in a male world. 205 00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:54,523 We can't even splash cold water on our faces. 206 00:14:54,733 --> 00:14:58,521 - Anything you feel like talking about? - It's nothing. 207 00:14:59,253 --> 00:15:02,404 This client won't let me argue his fetishism. 208 00:15:02,613 --> 00:15:04,569 If I could, I'd get him off. 209 00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:08,561 Of course, he could get himself off by sniffing a shoe. 210 00:15:08,893 --> 00:15:13,171 You know, I had a plan, Georgia. My whole life, I had a plan. 211 00:15:13,373 --> 00:15:16,126 At 28, I was gonna take maternity leave. 212 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:21,248 I'd be on partnership track and home at night with my husband... 213 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:25,651 ...reading What to Expect When Nursing and Trying Cases. 214 00:15:25,853 --> 00:15:30,973 Instead, I sleep with an inflatable doll and have clients who suck toes. 215 00:15:31,653 --> 00:15:35,965 This was not the plan. And you with your new haircut! 216 00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:46,130 Thanks. Thanks for letting me unload. 217 00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:47,766 Bye. 218 00:15:47,973 --> 00:15:49,884 GEORGIA: Ally? - Hmm? 219 00:15:50,653 --> 00:15:54,885 What makes your problems bigger than everybody else's? 220 00:15:56,133 --> 00:15:57,566 They're mine. 221 00:16:21,253 --> 00:16:24,325 - Ms. McBeal? - Mr. Henderson, hey. 222 00:16:30,253 --> 00:16:32,209 - May I? - Sure. 223 00:16:41,173 --> 00:16:42,765 I love her. 224 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:48,250 I really do love her. 225 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:53,369 Does that make any difference? 226 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,010 Legally, no. But insanity has legal meaning. 227 00:16:57,213 --> 00:17:01,525 - We'll win if we go with that. - Depends on what we try to win. 228 00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:04,725 - Well, what are you trying to win? - Her. 229 00:17:07,413 --> 00:17:11,770 See, if I take that stand and if I say I have an illness... 230 00:17:12,373 --> 00:17:15,968 ...the jury might let me go. But then, so will she. 231 00:17:16,213 --> 00:17:20,172 - They can't make her take you back. - But they can... 232 00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:27,650 Maybe they could tell her not to condemn me. 233 00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:33,604 You invited them here? 234 00:17:33,813 --> 00:17:37,965 - This case should go away. - This could be witness-tampering. 235 00:17:38,173 --> 00:17:40,243 - Lf you don't tell... - Renee knows. 236 00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:44,924 - Will she drop the charges? - That, I don't know. I have to... 237 00:17:45,253 --> 00:17:47,528 Ally McBeal, this one's for you. 238 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,052 - What's going on? - Birthday surprise. 239 00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:54,648 VONDA SINGS: I can starch and iron 240 00:17:55,453 --> 00:17:56,932 Who thought of this? 241 00:17:57,133 --> 00:18:00,921 - You'll know. Listen, feel yourself. - Feel myself? 242 00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:03,124 Potential theme song. 243 00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:09,046 Cause I'm a woman 244 00:18:09,253 --> 00:18:12,484 W- O-M-A-N 245 00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:15,048 I'll say it again 246 00:18:15,933 --> 00:18:19,892 I can rub and scrub till this old House shines just like a dime 247 00:18:20,093 --> 00:18:24,245 Feed the baby, grease the car and Powder my face at the same time 248 00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:26,011 Get all dressed up 249 00:18:26,253 --> 00:18:29,723 - You've got to be kidding me. - Aren't birthdays fun? 250 00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:35,524 Start all over again Cause I'm a woman 251 00:18:35,733 --> 00:18:37,451 W- O-M-A-N 252 00:18:37,653 --> 00:18:39,928 Renee's never gonna believe me. 253 00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:41,930 - She will. - What do you mean? 254 00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:45,410 RENEE SINGS: If you come to me Sickly I'm gonna make you well 255 00:18:45,613 --> 00:18:46,807 Oh, no. 256 00:18:48,493 --> 00:18:50,643 I'm gonna break the spell 257 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:59,648 If it's love you're lacking I'll kiss You and give you the shivering fits 258 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:05,488 Woman, W-O-M-A-N 259 00:19:08,173 --> 00:19:10,004 I am drawn to that woman. 260 00:19:10,893 --> 00:19:14,966 W- O-M-A-N 261 00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:19,167 Cause I'm a woman 262 00:19:19,413 --> 00:19:22,485 W- O-M-A-N 263 00:19:26,693 --> 00:19:28,888 Cause I'm a woman 264 00:19:29,093 --> 00:19:34,008 W- O-M-A-N, Woman 265 00:19:38,573 --> 00:19:39,369 Yeah! 266 00:19:43,213 --> 00:19:44,328 Happy birthday! 267 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:47,283 Whoo! 268 00:19:52,093 --> 00:19:54,368 Somebody should die for this. 269 00:19:54,853 --> 00:19:57,765 I wouldn't mind seeing you all die. 270 00:20:01,173 --> 00:20:05,212 I'm angry. It's a pretext to get me to drop the charges. 271 00:20:05,853 --> 00:20:08,845 - I thought... - Why was the spotlight on you? 272 00:20:10,653 --> 00:20:15,204 Tomorrow is my birthday. If you would look at a plea bargain... 273 00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:18,450 - How old? - 28. The D.A. And I could work... 274 00:20:18,653 --> 00:20:19,688 - Married? - No! 275 00:20:23,853 --> 00:20:27,687 Cheryl, this man didn't harm you, nor did he mean to. 276 00:20:28,213 --> 00:20:32,809 He scared me to death! You try waking up with Dr. Scholl. 277 00:20:33,053 --> 00:20:36,602 It was totally wrong for him to enter your apartment. 278 00:20:36,813 --> 00:20:40,965 Even with an invitation, it's just something you don't do. 279 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:45,052 - But this man isn't a criminal. - He is a criminal. 280 00:20:45,653 --> 00:20:50,408 - He is a liar and a criminal. - When did I ever lie to you? 281 00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:53,173 You lied pretending to be normal. 282 00:20:53,373 --> 00:20:56,843 And you're sick. You pretended to... 283 00:21:03,453 --> 00:21:06,365 Could we go someplace private? 284 00:21:08,173 --> 00:21:11,961 This isn't just some citizen's arrest. You sound hurt. 285 00:21:12,173 --> 00:21:14,164 CHERYL: I am hurt. 286 00:21:14,653 --> 00:21:15,847 Okay. 287 00:21:19,013 --> 00:21:20,162 Why? 288 00:21:20,973 --> 00:21:25,763 I'm sure a person like you meets a lot of men, goes out a lot. 289 00:21:26,573 --> 00:21:27,722 I don't, okay? 290 00:21:28,813 --> 00:21:33,762 - I'm not sure I follow. - Every guy, whatever reason: Loser! 291 00:21:34,013 --> 00:21:36,163 Or maybe I'm the loser. 292 00:21:36,373 --> 00:21:39,843 Let's just say it never really happened for me. 293 00:21:40,053 --> 00:21:43,762 - When I met Mark, we just... - Clicked? 294 00:21:46,253 --> 00:21:51,168 - We're both tipsters. He tell you? - Sorry? 295 00:21:51,373 --> 00:21:55,525 You hear on the car radio, "Just heard, Route 128 is jammed." 296 00:21:55,893 --> 00:21:58,361 CHERYL: The people who call in. - Tipsters. 297 00:21:59,733 --> 00:22:03,362 He was the first guy I ever thought, maybe... 298 00:22:04,093 --> 00:22:06,971 They say there's a somebody for everybody. 299 00:22:07,173 --> 00:22:09,892 This was the first time I believed it. 300 00:22:10,453 --> 00:22:12,808 I even went to bed thinking it. 301 00:22:13,053 --> 00:22:16,887 Thinking how lucky I was that maybe I found my man. 302 00:22:17,093 --> 00:22:20,051 Cheryl, he wasn't... He has a quirk. 303 00:22:20,253 --> 00:22:22,209 It's a sickness! 304 00:22:22,773 --> 00:22:26,163 I realize that I am no bargain, but... 305 00:22:26,373 --> 00:22:28,762 MARK: Hi, excuse me. 306 00:22:29,853 --> 00:22:32,925 Do you think that I'm confident with women? 307 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:36,173 MARK: I read the magazines. I read them. 308 00:22:36,413 --> 00:22:39,962 Cosmopolitan. There's these women... 309 00:22:40,613 --> 00:22:45,528 ...wrapping themselves up with Saran Wrap to surprise their husbands. 310 00:22:45,733 --> 00:22:49,692 And there's these women with all these erogenous zones. 311 00:22:50,413 --> 00:22:52,722 MARK: And, I'm just... 312 00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:54,764 MARK: ...trying. I'm... 313 00:22:58,653 --> 00:22:59,722 I'm sorry. 314 00:23:08,213 --> 00:23:09,885 This wasn't about... 315 00:23:10,133 --> 00:23:14,365 ...you trying to be erogenous or erotic, Mark. 316 00:23:15,093 --> 00:23:16,845 We both know that. 317 00:23:24,493 --> 00:23:27,166 - I can't dismiss. - Cheryl wouldn't object. 318 00:23:27,373 --> 00:23:30,046 - This is about... - My office would object. 319 00:23:30,253 --> 00:23:33,165 - It's his third time. - What if he gets help? 320 00:23:33,373 --> 00:23:37,161 My office considers him a serial sex offender. 321 00:23:37,373 --> 00:23:41,161 - It's not up to me. Where's Greg? - He said he was coming. 322 00:23:41,373 --> 00:23:43,409 I know I will be. 323 00:23:43,973 --> 00:23:49,172 I realize that you have your little office politics, but this... 324 00:23:49,373 --> 00:23:50,283 [DRUMROLL] 325 00:23:50,493 --> 00:23:53,530 One last surprise for the birthday girl. 326 00:23:53,853 --> 00:23:55,844 Oh, now what? 327 00:23:56,613 --> 00:23:59,173 GREG SINGS: Treat me like a fool 328 00:24:03,293 --> 00:24:07,127 But love me 329 00:24:16,693 --> 00:24:19,651 But love me 330 00:24:19,973 --> 00:24:21,611 Baby! 331 00:24:25,453 --> 00:24:28,047 My God! 332 00:24:28,613 --> 00:24:30,205 Napkin? 333 00:24:30,493 --> 00:24:31,972 You're turning me on! 334 00:24:32,173 --> 00:24:34,812 I'll be sad and blue 335 00:24:35,253 --> 00:24:37,813 Now, this... 336 00:24:38,373 --> 00:24:42,161 [WOMEN CHEERING] 337 00:24:48,413 --> 00:24:50,802 WOMAN: Yeah! All right! 338 00:24:56,173 --> 00:24:59,449 Your heart 339 00:25:02,653 --> 00:25:06,089 Beating close to mine 340 00:25:06,693 --> 00:25:08,285 RENEE SINGS: Don't 341 00:25:14,173 --> 00:25:17,643 Leave my embrace 342 00:25:22,253 --> 00:25:26,485 Here in my arms is your place 343 00:25:28,653 --> 00:25:32,612 When the night grows cold 344 00:25:36,533 --> 00:25:38,205 Baby, don't say don't 345 00:25:39,093 --> 00:25:42,927 If you think that this is 346 00:25:43,173 --> 00:25:47,246 Just a game 347 00:25:47,453 --> 00:25:50,604 I'm playing 348 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,805 I mean 349 00:25:57,013 --> 00:26:01,370 Every word I'm saying 350 00:26:04,013 --> 00:26:05,605 Don't 351 00:26:07,173 --> 00:26:11,007 To the stars that 352 00:26:11,253 --> 00:26:12,766 Shine above me 353 00:26:16,413 --> 00:26:18,802 I am yours 354 00:26:19,013 --> 00:26:23,882 I will stay 355 00:26:40,213 --> 00:26:44,092 Love me, love me, love me 356 00:26:48,213 --> 00:26:49,805 MAN: Sing it! 357 00:26:58,173 --> 00:27:01,529 - I didn't mean it like that. - What did you mean? 358 00:27:01,733 --> 00:27:05,408 Somebody great was on stage. I thought "upstage him." 359 00:27:05,613 --> 00:27:07,012 You upstaged me. 360 00:27:07,213 --> 00:27:09,408 - It was a song. - It was harmony. 361 00:27:09,613 --> 00:27:14,607 - You did everything but hump his leg. - It was a song! Sorry. 362 00:27:16,693 --> 00:27:20,891 - You must know I'd never cut in... - The whole room saw you cut in. 363 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:25,082 ALLY: Who are you trying to kid? - I'm not interested in Greg. 364 00:27:25,293 --> 00:27:27,204 RENEE: I promise. 365 00:27:29,653 --> 00:27:31,609 Even if I were... 366 00:27:32,213 --> 00:27:35,011 ...you have to know I'd never betray you. 367 00:27:35,213 --> 00:27:36,646 [DOORBELL RINGS] 368 00:27:40,693 --> 00:27:43,651 What do you know? It's Sonny and Cher. 369 00:27:57,573 --> 00:28:01,885 - It was just a song. - It was. The first song was to you. 370 00:28:02,093 --> 00:28:05,608 The second ditty stays a little more etched. 371 00:28:09,053 --> 00:28:12,841 I guess I should celebrate getting you in my apartment. 372 00:28:13,053 --> 00:28:15,487 Can Renee sing you into my room? 373 00:28:15,693 --> 00:28:18,924 I'm here to see you. I find Renee nosy. 374 00:28:26,253 --> 00:28:31,008 I know I'm being stupid, but I would probably feel... 375 00:28:31,253 --> 00:28:34,768 ...a little less insecure if you... 376 00:28:34,973 --> 00:28:39,649 ...I don't know, snuck into my room and tickled my toes once. 377 00:28:44,173 --> 00:28:45,731 What is it? 378 00:28:46,013 --> 00:28:47,082 I... 379 00:28:47,573 --> 00:28:49,803 I took a new job. 380 00:28:50,253 --> 00:28:53,529 New hospital. It's in Chicago. 381 00:28:53,773 --> 00:28:56,810 - Oh. - Yeah. Oh. 382 00:28:57,013 --> 00:29:00,449 I have been afraid to walk down a road that... 383 00:29:00,653 --> 00:29:04,168 ...ends in Illinois. Not that it has to be over for us... 384 00:29:04,373 --> 00:29:07,809 But it wouldn't be smart not to have a beginning. 385 00:29:08,573 --> 00:29:10,609 GREG: I don't know what to say. 386 00:29:11,133 --> 00:29:15,172 The truth is, I think I've fallen in love with you. 387 00:29:15,813 --> 00:29:18,168 You have. This is a sure sign. 388 00:29:18,373 --> 00:29:22,446 Men who fall in love with me leave to promote their careers. 389 00:29:22,693 --> 00:29:24,411 I'd be running the ER. 390 00:29:25,093 --> 00:29:30,087 - It's such an opportunity. - Stupid to pass up. I understand. 391 00:29:31,973 --> 00:29:35,010 Can I still take you out for your birthday? 392 00:29:35,373 --> 00:29:40,447 No, I think you have blown out enough candles for one birthday. 393 00:29:42,813 --> 00:29:43,609 Ally... 394 00:29:43,813 --> 00:29:46,566 I'm fine. We weren't in a relationship. 395 00:29:46,773 --> 00:29:51,767 This is nipped in the bud. Buds don't feel pain. I'm okay. 396 00:29:53,173 --> 00:29:54,845 ALLY: But I am... 397 00:29:56,613 --> 00:29:57,682 ...tired. 398 00:29:59,253 --> 00:30:04,202 And I need to write this closing argument... 399 00:30:04,413 --> 00:30:07,610 ...so I need for you to leave now. 400 00:30:10,133 --> 00:30:14,809 And thanks for the great song. 401 00:30:33,493 --> 00:30:37,372 ["TELL HIM" PLAYS] 402 00:31:54,013 --> 00:31:57,403 RENEE: I'm sorry. I didn't mean... - Stop blaming yourself. 403 00:31:57,613 --> 00:32:01,288 This has nothing to do with you. He's an ER doctor. 404 00:32:01,493 --> 00:32:05,281 People get hurt in Chicago: Gunshots, heart attacks. 405 00:32:05,493 --> 00:32:07,290 I can't compete with that. 406 00:32:07,493 --> 00:32:10,803 At least he didn't sleep with you before telling. 407 00:32:11,013 --> 00:32:11,889 Yeah. 408 00:32:12,173 --> 00:32:13,492 At least. 409 00:32:13,853 --> 00:32:16,890 Did you want to sleep with him once? 410 00:32:17,773 --> 00:32:22,289 Because I definitely blew that. He wouldn't have told you if I hadn't... 411 00:32:22,493 --> 00:32:25,690 I'm fine. I'm used to getting dumped. 412 00:32:25,893 --> 00:32:30,011 Think back. This isn't pain I'm feeling. It's nostalgia. 413 00:32:30,213 --> 00:32:32,408 Now, let's get to court. 414 00:32:47,773 --> 00:32:50,890 - What is that? - Ice goggles. I invented them. 415 00:32:51,093 --> 00:32:56,008 Eyes get puffy in the morning, especially while retaining water. 416 00:32:56,213 --> 00:33:00,809 - Out late last night? - Well, with that number I did... 417 00:33:01,013 --> 00:33:04,892 - Can I ask you an ethical question? - What? 418 00:33:05,093 --> 00:33:08,881 If you invite a dozen or so men home with you from a bar... 419 00:33:09,093 --> 00:33:11,209 ...and a good many actually show... 420 00:33:11,413 --> 00:33:14,610 ...are you expected to sleep with all of them? 421 00:33:15,613 --> 00:33:18,252 Gee, Elaine, can I think on that one? 422 00:33:24,693 --> 00:33:29,562 This isn't about feet or if it's okay to be sexually attracted to them. 423 00:33:30,373 --> 00:33:32,284 ALLY: This case isn't about that. 424 00:33:33,293 --> 00:33:37,366 It's about his entering without being invited. 425 00:33:38,373 --> 00:33:43,049 It was stupid. Mr. Henderson pleads not guilty by reason of insanity. 426 00:33:43,253 --> 00:33:45,244 Not legal insanity. 427 00:33:45,493 --> 00:33:49,202 But one that can actually be much more powerful: 428 00:33:50,013 --> 00:33:51,241 Loneliness. 429 00:33:51,453 --> 00:33:54,968 Do you know what the most common insanity is? 430 00:33:55,173 --> 00:33:59,803 It's the idea that love will come to you, even if you do nothing. 431 00:34:00,053 --> 00:34:02,692 "The right one will come. Just wait." 432 00:34:02,893 --> 00:34:05,088 Who the hell came up with that? 433 00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:08,968 How many couples do you know? How many friends do you have... 434 00:34:09,173 --> 00:34:13,769 ...that you can truly say, "The right one came along"? 435 00:34:13,973 --> 00:34:18,205 You talk to most people, they'll say the right one got away. 436 00:34:18,773 --> 00:34:19,888 ALLY: My point: 437 00:34:20,373 --> 00:34:23,604 Ask anybody what they want the most. 438 00:34:24,453 --> 00:34:25,488 It's love. 439 00:34:26,653 --> 00:34:30,009 ALLY: Personal happiness matters more than our careers. 440 00:34:30,213 --> 00:34:32,852 Yet look at what we do with our time. 441 00:34:33,053 --> 00:34:36,011 Nobody works on their personal lives. 442 00:34:36,213 --> 00:34:39,603 We just assume that it'll take care of itself. 443 00:34:41,173 --> 00:34:44,609 Well, sometimes, it doesn't. 444 00:34:45,773 --> 00:34:48,845 It wasn't happening for Mr. Henderson. 445 00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:53,808 And instead of letting things take their course, he got assertive. 446 00:34:54,173 --> 00:34:59,088 Too assertive? No question. He regrets it. But sometimes... 447 00:34:59,293 --> 00:35:03,206 ...what you regret the most are the things that you don't do. 448 00:35:04,493 --> 00:35:06,609 I'm a romantic. 449 00:35:08,853 --> 00:35:12,971 Truth be told, I like to get my toes sucked. 450 00:35:14,453 --> 00:35:19,652 I had an old boyfriend down there so long once, he loosened a nail. 451 00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:24,766 So what? Like Ms. McBeal said: 452 00:35:24,973 --> 00:35:26,645 "That is not the issue." 453 00:35:26,853 --> 00:35:29,048 The issue is his going there... 454 00:35:29,253 --> 00:35:32,484 ...committing a non-consensual sexual battery. 455 00:35:32,693 --> 00:35:35,002 That does not fly. 456 00:35:35,853 --> 00:35:37,206 Come on. 457 00:35:39,093 --> 00:35:43,006 Mr. Or Mrs. Right may not come along. It's not that easy. 458 00:35:43,213 --> 00:35:48,412 But you do not get to improve the odds by committing home invasions. 459 00:35:51,293 --> 00:35:53,204 Please! 460 00:35:58,693 --> 00:36:01,605 JUDGE: You've reached a verdict? - Yes, Your Honor. 461 00:36:02,573 --> 00:36:05,007 Will the defendant please rise? 462 00:36:05,613 --> 00:36:06,648 JUDGE: What say you? 463 00:36:06,853 --> 00:36:10,084 FOREPERSON: On the charge of misdemeanor battery... 464 00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:12,488 ...we find him not guilty. 465 00:36:12,693 --> 00:36:17,892 On the charge of felony breaking and entering, we find him not guilty. 466 00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:22,006 JUDGE: Members of the jury, thank you for your services. 467 00:36:25,053 --> 00:36:28,489 Thank you. Thank you very, very much. 468 00:36:29,053 --> 00:36:31,613 This is great, Mark. 469 00:36:32,413 --> 00:36:35,405 - But I do think you need counseling. - Yeah. 470 00:36:35,893 --> 00:36:39,408 - Not that kind. - Yes, I will. I will... 471 00:36:39,613 --> 00:36:40,648 Cheryl? 472 00:36:43,693 --> 00:36:46,890 Look, I know that an apology won't help... 473 00:36:48,573 --> 00:36:50,803 ...but if that jury can understand... 474 00:36:54,973 --> 00:36:58,045 Let's just try. Can we just try? 475 00:36:58,293 --> 00:37:01,012 Then, you know, after, if you still... 476 00:37:01,613 --> 00:37:05,606 Hey, look. You tried to put me in jail, okay? 477 00:37:05,813 --> 00:37:08,407 Now, if I can forgive that... 478 00:37:15,293 --> 00:37:17,807 Maybe we should go have some coffee... 479 00:37:19,373 --> 00:37:22,683 ...and talk. - Okay. Okay. 480 00:37:22,893 --> 00:37:24,611 MARK: That would be great. 481 00:37:29,293 --> 00:37:33,684 I breathed through my mouth for your closing. My nose whistled. 482 00:37:33,893 --> 00:37:36,805 - Maybe if you trimmed your... - Ally? 483 00:37:38,813 --> 00:37:40,610 Talk to you a second? 484 00:37:45,413 --> 00:37:48,325 This had been in the works before we met. 485 00:37:48,533 --> 00:37:49,727 I'm not angry. 486 00:37:52,253 --> 00:37:55,723 You'll love Chicago. The people there are great. 487 00:37:55,933 --> 00:37:59,164 They have the best ribs and the best cupboards. 488 00:37:59,373 --> 00:38:03,048 - The best cupboards? - Everyone talks about their cupboards. 489 00:38:04,653 --> 00:38:06,644 Cubs. It's a baseball team. 490 00:38:07,373 --> 00:38:08,362 Oh. 491 00:38:11,013 --> 00:38:14,244 We don't have to say goodbye. Who knows? 492 00:38:14,453 --> 00:38:16,125 - I could return. - Right. 493 00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:17,925 - We'll keep in touch. - Absolutely. 494 00:38:18,133 --> 00:38:19,612 Great. 495 00:38:21,173 --> 00:38:22,686 So... 496 00:38:25,013 --> 00:38:26,287 Good luck. 497 00:38:26,773 --> 00:38:28,411 You too. 498 00:38:58,173 --> 00:39:00,767 ELAINE: Congrats on the verdict. - Thanks. 499 00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:10,372 - Did you get me anything? - Did I get you anything? 500 00:39:10,653 --> 00:39:14,248 For my birthday. Did you get me anything? 501 00:39:14,493 --> 00:39:16,484 A card, even? 502 00:39:17,013 --> 00:39:20,005 Hello? Are we forgetting about last night? 503 00:39:20,653 --> 00:39:25,044 Did Jesus ask the little drummer boy, "Did you get me anything?" 504 00:39:25,253 --> 00:39:27,972 That would've changed the song's ending. 505 00:39:28,173 --> 00:39:32,212 So on stage, that was you being the little drummer boy? 506 00:39:32,413 --> 00:39:33,846 Correct. 507 00:39:34,093 --> 00:39:36,926 Last night was the same as every night. 508 00:39:37,133 --> 00:39:39,363 It's about you being noticed. 509 00:39:39,573 --> 00:39:42,406 These silly glasses. This is you... 510 00:39:42,773 --> 00:39:45,412 ALLY: ...wanting to be noticed. 511 00:39:46,693 --> 00:39:49,810 How long are you planning on keeping this all up? 512 00:39:51,853 --> 00:39:53,081 Till I'm noticed. 513 00:40:06,093 --> 00:40:10,006 When I was in the 4th grade, my best friend got a new bike. 514 00:40:10,213 --> 00:40:13,649 And she rode it around. Everybody admired it. 515 00:40:13,853 --> 00:40:15,605 Admired her. 516 00:40:16,253 --> 00:40:18,813 My parents couldn't afford a bike. 517 00:40:19,173 --> 00:40:23,212 I even sold myself to the boys at recess for a nickel. 518 00:40:23,413 --> 00:40:26,450 ELAINE: And I did save up enough to buy a bell... 519 00:40:26,653 --> 00:40:29,406 ELAINE: To put on it, if I ever did get a bike. 520 00:40:29,893 --> 00:40:32,202 Well, I never got that bike. 521 00:40:33,013 --> 00:40:36,005 But I made a lot of noise with the bell. 522 00:40:36,573 --> 00:40:38,052 I see. 523 00:40:38,693 --> 00:40:43,084 I have as much entitlement to happiness as you do to misery. 524 00:40:43,293 --> 00:40:46,012 I'm not miserable. I'm just... 525 00:40:48,493 --> 00:40:52,008 - I'm just not there yet. - Me, neither. 526 00:40:54,773 --> 00:40:57,412 We just have our different ways... 527 00:40:58,253 --> 00:41:00,005 ...dealing with it. 528 00:41:15,853 --> 00:41:18,606 Renee and I are gonna get some dinner. 529 00:41:20,213 --> 00:41:24,809 - You want to come? - Oh, I'd love to. But... 530 00:41:26,213 --> 00:41:29,205 - Maybe next time. - Sure. 531 00:41:31,813 --> 00:41:35,522 You know, Elaine, you really were great on the stage. 532 00:41:40,893 --> 00:41:42,611 Thank you. 533 00:43:12,453 --> 00:43:13,442 OLD LADY: You stinker! 534 00:43:14,853 --> 00:43:15,842 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 535 00:43:16,013 --> 00:43:17,002 [ENGLISH SDH] 41877

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