All language subtitles for Fresh - 05x17

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,719 --> 00:00:15,420 - Eddie, no more computer! - Whoa. 2 00:00:15,421 --> 00:00:17,806 This knock-off version of "The Sims" is so accurate. 3 00:00:17,807 --> 00:00:19,479 It even sounds like Mom. 4 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,502 Eddie! 5 00:00:21,177 --> 00:00:23,317 It's noon and you're still in your pajamas? 6 00:00:23,319 --> 00:00:25,844 I was up all night making computer versions of our family. 7 00:00:25,845 --> 00:00:27,818 It took me four hours to get Dad's hair right. 8 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,309 Did you do the laundry like I asked you? 9 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:30,576 I said I'd get to it. 10 00:00:30,577 --> 00:00:32,562 Off the computer now and go do the laundry. 11 00:00:33,725 --> 00:00:36,810 And go take a shower. 12 00:00:36,811 --> 00:00:38,594 You smell like hot-dog water. 13 00:00:48,981 --> 00:00:51,768 Believe me, little dude... I get it. 14 00:00:56,947 --> 00:00:59,133 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 15 00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:14,715 Thanks for letting me borrow your hammer, Louis. 16 00:01:14,716 --> 00:01:16,684 The hardware store near my apartment stopped selling them 17 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:19,053 - after all the murders. - Mm, no problem, Horace. 18 00:01:19,054 --> 00:01:20,864 Moving into your first apartment is hard work. 19 00:01:20,865 --> 00:01:23,591 Oh, and I, uh, marked it with an "H" for "Huang" 20 00:01:23,592 --> 00:01:24,965 so we don't get mixed up. 21 00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:28,162 But "H" is also for "Horace." And hammer. 22 00:01:28,163 --> 00:01:29,565 But that "H" is for "Huang." 23 00:01:29,566 --> 00:01:31,881 I'll bring it back as soon as I'm done decorating my place 24 00:01:31,882 --> 00:01:33,501 the way I want to. 25 00:01:33,502 --> 00:01:36,766 "Oh, oh, you think the Elvira poster is too sexy for my room, Mom? 26 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:39,039 Well, that's too bad, because it's my place!" 27 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,408 Uh, Elvira? 28 00:01:42,409 --> 00:01:45,191 - She's... kind of... hot. - Oh. Okay. 29 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,936 You know, my first apartment was above a saxophone store. 30 00:01:47,937 --> 00:01:49,616 I used to tell people I live on the corner 31 00:01:49,617 --> 00:01:51,352 of Rhythm and Blues. 32 00:01:51,353 --> 00:01:53,620 Until the mailman told me to stop. 33 00:01:53,621 --> 00:01:56,340 Hey, I should find my old lease and frame it! 34 00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:59,179 Man, living alone must be awesome. I can't wait. 35 00:01:59,180 --> 00:02:00,594 When I have my own place, I'm gonna have 36 00:02:00,595 --> 00:02:01,595 a beat-box answering machine. 37 00:02:01,596 --> 00:02:03,230 "Leave a message after the..." 38 00:02:04,566 --> 00:02:06,100 - "...beat." - Yes! 39 00:02:06,101 --> 00:02:07,727 Living alone is great, man. 40 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,913 I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. 41 00:02:09,914 --> 00:02:12,272 I haven't felt this free since I went on Cultural Exchange 42 00:02:12,273 --> 00:02:13,741 to Taiwan when I was 16. 43 00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,075 Say what now? 44 00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:17,192 You know, when you go all over Taiwan 45 00:02:17,193 --> 00:02:19,046 with a bunch of other teenagers on a bus? 46 00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:20,280 They say it's educational, 47 00:02:20,281 --> 00:02:21,849 but the only thing I learned 48 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,426 is how to smooch girls with a mouth full of tapioca. 49 00:02:24,427 --> 00:02:26,253 But what about your parents? 50 00:02:26,254 --> 00:02:28,009 The best part about Cultural Exchange... 51 00:02:28,011 --> 00:02:29,192 No parents. 52 00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:32,726 Hey, is it cool if I take this? 53 00:02:32,727 --> 00:02:34,821 Thanks, man. Housewarming gift. 54 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,898 Eddie? I said no more video games. 55 00:02:37,899 --> 00:02:40,067 I need the computer to instant-message with Honey 56 00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:41,468 while she's on bed rest. 57 00:02:41,469 --> 00:02:43,352 I already have my topics all picked out. 58 00:02:43,353 --> 00:02:46,206 But Computer Eddie just ordered bottle service. 59 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,207 Who cares? He's a pixel blob! 60 00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:50,822 Now, off the computer or no seeing your friends for a week. 61 00:02:50,823 --> 00:02:52,980 Fine. I'll just play with my "digital friends" instead. 62 00:02:52,981 --> 00:02:55,149 Fine. I'll just pack you a digital lunch 63 00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:56,650 for school tomorrow instead. 64 00:02:56,651 --> 00:02:57,818 "Microsoft Sandwich". 65 00:02:57,819 --> 00:02:59,720 Fine. I'll just raid the freshmen learning garden. 66 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,932 They don't need that much rosemary. 67 00:03:00,933 --> 00:03:03,257 Okay, you want to use the computer? 68 00:03:03,258 --> 00:03:05,925 - Then you can teach Grandma. - Whoo! 69 00:03:05,926 --> 00:03:09,029 What?! You know that's way worse than no computer. 70 00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:11,131 Why can't you just give me a little space? 71 00:03:11,132 --> 00:03:13,331 I would love to give you a little space, 72 00:03:13,332 --> 00:03:15,469 but parenting you is a full-time job. 73 00:03:15,470 --> 00:03:18,915 Ask Jeeves to look for "Tom Selleck... 74 00:03:18,916 --> 00:03:21,110 plus shirtless". 75 00:03:24,796 --> 00:03:27,064 Who designed this house? The Harlem Globetrotters? 76 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:28,810 Allow me. 77 00:03:29,522 --> 00:03:32,569 There's that famous volleyball reach I've heard so much about. 78 00:03:35,286 --> 00:03:37,157 Cowboy boots? When did that start? 79 00:03:37,158 --> 00:03:39,193 A few weeks ago. You didn't notice? 80 00:03:39,194 --> 00:03:41,075 Oh, of course I did. 81 00:03:41,076 --> 00:03:42,805 Started a few weeks ago. 82 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,683 Well, I'm worried about him, and it's not just the boots. 83 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,067 He's seemed different lately. 84 00:03:47,068 --> 00:03:48,152 Emery? 85 00:03:48,153 --> 00:03:49,854 No. You could set your watch by that kid. 86 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,906 I'm sure it's nothing. 87 00:03:50,907 --> 00:03:52,857 He's probably just parting his hair the opposite way. 88 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,892 He isn't, and I would know. 89 00:03:54,893 --> 00:03:56,060 I'm the one that does his hair. 90 00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,511 You do your brother's hair? 91 00:03:57,512 --> 00:03:59,203 So? I have the time. 92 00:03:59,703 --> 00:04:01,298 I think he might be going through something 93 00:04:01,299 --> 00:04:02,933 and he doesn't know how to tell us. 94 00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:06,201 Well, I'm sure, if it's anything important, he would tell me. 95 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,524 We've been really connecting lately, 96 00:04:07,525 --> 00:04:09,244 ever since our Chinese New Year tussle. 97 00:04:09,245 --> 00:04:11,408 We even discovered a mutual love of volleyball. 98 00:04:11,409 --> 00:04:13,811 - Since when do you like volleyball? - Since always. 99 00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:16,124 Spatch! That's a volleyball term. 100 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,432 Okay, if nothing's going on, 101 00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:21,435 explain why I found this on his desk. 102 00:04:21,436 --> 00:04:23,954 The Cowboy Palace Saloon? 103 00:04:23,955 --> 00:04:25,339 He could've gotten this anywhere. 104 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,267 Besides, the boy has a lot of candles. 105 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,417 Louis! 106 00:04:28,418 --> 00:04:30,294 Printer's ink run out. 107 00:04:30,295 --> 00:04:32,314 Tom's chest soaked it up. 108 00:04:36,037 --> 00:04:38,852 I need a new name for Instant Messenger. 109 00:04:38,853 --> 00:04:40,187 Jessica Huang was taken, 110 00:04:40,188 --> 00:04:42,940 so I have Jessica-Computer-Name, 111 00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:44,275 Chinese-Barbara-Bush, 112 00:04:44,276 --> 00:04:45,776 or Deidres-A-Poop-6. 113 00:04:45,777 --> 00:04:48,061 Ooh, tough call. They're all great. 114 00:04:48,062 --> 00:04:49,754 Anyway, Mother, 115 00:04:49,755 --> 00:04:51,798 I was thinking, and you're right... 116 00:04:51,799 --> 00:04:53,438 How we both need a little space. 117 00:04:53,439 --> 00:04:54,752 In the words of Louis Armstrong, 118 00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,049 "And I think to myself... 119 00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,122 w-what a dope-ass world." 120 00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,439 I owe it to myself to get out there. 121 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,258 - Uh-huh. - Which is why 122 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,426 I would like your permission to go 123 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,860 on the Cultural Exchange trip to Taiwan. 124 00:05:13,788 --> 00:05:15,072 What are we laughing about? 125 00:05:15,073 --> 00:05:18,075 You! Going on a Cultural Exchange! 126 00:05:18,076 --> 00:05:19,710 Wh-What's so funny about that? 127 00:05:19,711 --> 00:05:21,712 You can't survive on your own. 128 00:05:21,713 --> 00:05:23,305 I do everything for you. 129 00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:24,640 I wake you up for school, 130 00:05:24,641 --> 00:05:26,567 I cook for you, I do your laundry... 131 00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:28,152 Hey, I did the laundry this time. 132 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:30,955 Only because I hounded you until you did it. 133 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,756 You're like a little baby bird 134 00:05:32,757 --> 00:05:34,542 who sits in front of the computer all day 135 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:37,044 and would die if his beautiful mother bird 136 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,212 stopped regurgitating worms into his mouth. 137 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,091 So I'm sorry, but the answer is no. 138 00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:44,368 Every time I think we've gone and turned a corner, 139 00:05:44,369 --> 00:05:46,103 you go right back to treating me like I'm a baby! 140 00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:48,906 I'm 16 years old. I can look after myself! 141 00:05:48,907 --> 00:05:50,290 I'm going on that trip. 142 00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:52,743 Well, I'll call the program and tell them not to accept you. 143 00:05:52,744 --> 00:05:55,474 As long as you live under my roof, you go by my rules. 144 00:05:55,476 --> 00:05:57,894 Fine. Then maybe it's time I didn't live under your roof. 145 00:05:59,118 --> 00:06:01,232 Fine! You know where the door is. 146 00:06:05,352 --> 00:06:08,545 Ooh, Orlando State is selling a DNA gene sequencer. 147 00:06:08,546 --> 00:06:11,178 That lab fire is the gift that keeps on giving. 148 00:06:11,179 --> 00:06:13,230 Mm-hmm. So, uh, Emery, 149 00:06:13,231 --> 00:06:15,132 excited about volleyball practice? 150 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,783 You know, I was reading that volleyball 151 00:06:16,784 --> 00:06:18,435 is the number-one sport amongst nudists. 152 00:06:18,436 --> 00:06:21,655 - What's a nudist? - Uh, doesn't matter. 153 00:06:21,656 --> 00:06:22,856 Everything good with you, though? 154 00:06:22,857 --> 00:06:25,892 No, uh, troubles at school or anywhere else, 155 00:06:25,893 --> 00:06:29,079 like a roadhouse or a Western-themed speakeasy? 156 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,099 Nope! All good. You know me, Dad. 157 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,821 I do, don't I? 158 00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:37,100 Mr. Volleyball. 159 00:06:39,587 --> 00:06:41,172 Have a good practice, son. 160 00:06:42,451 --> 00:06:44,961 Bye. 161 00:06:48,734 --> 00:06:51,368 See? I was right. Emery is fine. 162 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,836 He's just a good, old-fashioned, 163 00:06:52,837 --> 00:06:54,697 cowboy-boot-wearing, volleyball-playing, 164 00:06:54,698 --> 00:06:56,156 nudist-ignorant kid. 165 00:06:56,157 --> 00:06:57,214 Uh-huh. 166 00:06:57,215 --> 00:07:01,338 So, have you ever actually seen him play or...? 167 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,916 Uh, hi. I'm Louis Huang, Emery's dad. 168 00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:10,097 Who? 169 00:07:10,098 --> 00:07:13,108 Uh, Louis Huang. I run the steakhouse off I-4. 170 00:07:14,278 --> 00:07:16,293 The one next to the haunted supermarket. 171 00:07:16,294 --> 00:07:17,728 No, who are you looking for? 172 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:18,779 Uh, Emery Huang. 173 00:07:18,780 --> 00:07:20,814 Oh, the Chinese kid. 174 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,149 Yeah, he quit the team weeks ago. 175 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,238 Sebastian! 176 00:07:23,239 --> 00:07:25,838 Get your hair out of your mouth and play volleyball! 177 00:07:28,668 --> 00:07:32,376 You need to stop hanging your bras on the clothesline outside. 178 00:07:32,377 --> 00:07:34,435 A bird made a nest in one of the cups. 179 00:07:34,436 --> 00:07:36,129 Well, this is it. 180 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:38,503 I'm really doing it. I'm really running away. 181 00:07:38,956 --> 00:07:40,084 Okay. 182 00:07:43,972 --> 00:07:45,472 You're letting him leave? 183 00:07:46,863 --> 00:07:48,674 Please. He's gonna get hungry 184 00:07:48,675 --> 00:07:50,821 and be back in here in 10 minutes. 185 00:07:50,822 --> 00:07:53,675 Then who is that picking him up? 186 00:07:59,387 --> 00:08:01,188 Horace? 187 00:08:02,501 --> 00:08:06,026 Oh, here comes Selleck's groin. 188 00:08:09,705 --> 00:08:12,268 Tell me about it, Commander Beefcake. 189 00:08:12,270 --> 00:08:15,422 Ha! Oh, Susan! 190 00:08:15,423 --> 00:08:19,673 Everything does happen to you very suddenly, doesn't it? 191 00:08:20,348 --> 00:08:21,599 Jessica. 192 00:08:21,630 --> 00:08:24,170 _ 193 00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:26,336 Worried? I'm thrilled. 194 00:08:26,337 --> 00:08:28,722 A break from being Eddie's full-time mom? 195 00:08:28,723 --> 00:08:31,686 I feel like I'm on one of those fancy white-people cruises 196 00:08:31,687 --> 00:08:33,323 where everybody gets diarrhea. 197 00:08:33,325 --> 00:08:36,749 _ 198 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:39,207 _ 199 00:08:39,376 --> 00:08:42,006 _ 200 00:08:43,401 --> 00:08:45,490 Connie used to do this all the time. 201 00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,004 If she didn't get her way, 202 00:08:47,005 --> 00:08:49,950 she'd run off and spend the night in a grain silo. 203 00:08:49,951 --> 00:08:51,473 But she always came home. 204 00:08:51,475 --> 00:08:52,987 Trust me. 205 00:08:52,988 --> 00:08:57,177 Eddie is not mature enough to survive in the world without me. 206 00:08:57,178 --> 00:09:00,333 He's probably in a grain silo right now, 207 00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:03,376 ruing the day he ever left his comfortable bed. 208 00:09:06,324 --> 00:09:09,259 Welcome to Chez Horace. 209 00:09:11,663 --> 00:09:14,347 This is it? How long have you been here? 210 00:09:14,348 --> 00:09:15,631 Ah, just a few weeks. 211 00:09:15,632 --> 00:09:17,100 It's really starting to come together. 212 00:09:17,101 --> 00:09:19,737 - Hoo. - Where do you even sleep? 213 00:09:19,738 --> 00:09:21,214 My waterbed. 214 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,271 I made it myself. 215 00:09:24,421 --> 00:09:26,723 Go ahead. Take it for a spin. Eh, no. 216 00:09:27,713 --> 00:09:28,745 Cool. 217 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,964 I'm gonna use you to solve the puzzle 218 00:09:33,966 --> 00:09:35,933 that has plagued scientists for centuries... 219 00:09:35,935 --> 00:09:37,488 Was Eddie adopted? 220 00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,089 Stop talking to the gene sequencer 221 00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:40,324 and keep an eye out for Emery. 222 00:09:40,325 --> 00:09:41,678 Are you gonna confront him? 223 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,510 Just be aware, he spooks easily. 224 00:09:43,511 --> 00:09:45,943 He almost killed Grandma last time she wore a mud mask. 225 00:09:45,944 --> 00:09:48,149 No, I'm not gonna call him out and risk how far we've come 226 00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,637 since Chinese New Year. 227 00:09:49,638 --> 00:09:51,604 Besides, I'm sure he has a reasonable explanation 228 00:09:51,605 --> 00:09:52,872 for why he quit the volleyball team. 229 00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:53,905 There he is! 230 00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:57,073 And he's... sweaty? 231 00:09:58,844 --> 00:10:00,477 - Hey. - Hey. 232 00:10:00,478 --> 00:10:01,812 So, how was practice? 233 00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:04,447 Great. Coach says my spatch game is really coming together. 234 00:10:10,201 --> 00:10:12,636 Horace, don't take this the wrong way, 235 00:10:12,638 --> 00:10:15,597 but your apartment blows. Like, really blows. 236 00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,728 Like, I can't believe you left home for this. 237 00:10:17,729 --> 00:10:18,995 What were you thinking? 238 00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:21,107 The truth is, 239 00:10:21,109 --> 00:10:22,402 I didn't move out. 240 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:24,439 - My parents kicked me out. - What? 241 00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:25,952 Why didn't you tell me that before? 242 00:10:25,953 --> 00:10:27,287 I was embarrassed! 243 00:10:27,288 --> 00:10:28,922 And plus I was hoping you would bring 244 00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:30,674 some luxury items from your house, 245 00:10:30,675 --> 00:10:33,944 like pillows or lamps or toilet paper. 246 00:10:33,945 --> 00:10:36,441 I've been using a sack of rice as a pillow, 247 00:10:36,442 --> 00:10:38,215 and now my neck is so jacked up, 248 00:10:38,216 --> 00:10:39,964 I think one of my arms is permanently asleep. 249 00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,726 Yeah, that's not good. 250 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,024 I can't go back now, let my mom win. 251 00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:48,370 Hey, do you want something to drink? 252 00:10:48,371 --> 00:10:50,110 I don't have any glasses yet, but I can rinse out 253 00:10:50,111 --> 00:10:51,860 an old bottle of contact lens solution. 254 00:10:53,966 --> 00:10:55,549 I think I'm just gonna turn in. 255 00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:56,691 Okay. 256 00:10:56,692 --> 00:10:58,652 Well, good night, Eddie. 257 00:10:58,653 --> 00:10:59,779 It's good to have you here. 258 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,355 And you can stay as long as you want. 259 00:11:15,554 --> 00:11:17,454 I think I made a big mistake. 260 00:11:17,455 --> 00:11:19,706 God, me too, man. 261 00:11:19,707 --> 00:11:21,264 Me, too. 262 00:11:27,199 --> 00:11:28,671 _ 263 00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:30,672 _ 264 00:11:32,077 --> 00:11:34,254 _ 265 00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:45,215 Thank God... 266 00:11:46,885 --> 00:11:48,904 I knew it. I knew you couldn't survive 267 00:11:48,905 --> 00:11:51,385 out there on your own without me, and I was right. 268 00:11:51,386 --> 00:11:52,923 Come on now. Get up. 269 00:11:52,924 --> 00:11:54,351 It's after 5:00. 270 00:11:54,352 --> 00:11:57,200 Hey, um... can I get a glass of milk? 271 00:11:59,056 --> 00:12:01,157 - Oh... - What are you doing in my house? 272 00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:04,134 To be honest, I just needed a dry bed and something to eat. 273 00:12:04,135 --> 00:12:05,588 I don't have any food... 274 00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:07,409 or furniture at my house. 275 00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,339 It's, um... It's kind of a dump. 276 00:12:09,340 --> 00:12:11,424 What? And you just left Eddie there? 277 00:12:11,425 --> 00:12:13,393 No. He was gone when I woke up. 278 00:12:13,394 --> 00:12:14,811 Gone where? 279 00:12:14,812 --> 00:12:16,351 Here, I assume. 280 00:12:16,352 --> 00:12:17,580 Is he not here? 281 00:12:20,872 --> 00:12:22,532 Now, about that milk... 282 00:12:24,518 --> 00:12:27,557 And the coach said you're having a special extra practice 283 00:12:27,558 --> 00:12:29,540 so you can watch "Top Gun" as a team? 284 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:30,727 Just the volleyball scenes. 285 00:12:30,728 --> 00:12:33,664 Oh. 286 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:34,981 Have a good practice, Emery. 287 00:12:34,982 --> 00:12:36,916 Thanks. 288 00:12:36,917 --> 00:12:39,035 If that is your real name. 289 00:12:41,239 --> 00:12:43,680 And now the stakeout begins. 290 00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:46,262 I brought a bag of disguises. 291 00:12:46,795 --> 00:12:48,261 Are you okay playing a woman? 292 00:12:48,262 --> 00:12:50,196 Shh, there he is. 293 00:12:50,197 --> 00:12:51,398 Yes. 294 00:13:06,264 --> 00:13:08,248 Follow that Huang. 295 00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:17,892 Meet Dr. Lucas Palindrome, 296 00:13:17,894 --> 00:13:20,760 a psychiatrist from Brooklyn, New York. 297 00:13:20,761 --> 00:13:22,741 That's the bar from the matchbook. 298 00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:27,300 Is he really going in there? 299 00:13:27,301 --> 00:13:28,868 Hey. 300 00:13:28,869 --> 00:13:31,052 He quit volleyball so he could underage drink. 301 00:13:31,053 --> 00:13:32,463 What a waste. 302 00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:34,826 What do you say you dress up as Mrs. Palindrome 303 00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:36,853 and we get our pictures taken at the mall? 304 00:13:36,854 --> 00:13:38,729 Wait in the car and lock the doors. 305 00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,979 Where are you going, Melinda? 306 00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:41,564 To rescue my son! 307 00:13:42,915 --> 00:13:46,083 Our son! Our son, Melinda! 308 00:13:47,606 --> 00:13:49,161 Whoa there, partner. You can't... 309 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,510 I own a Western-style steakhouse. 310 00:13:51,511 --> 00:13:53,176 Now get your damn hand off me. 311 00:14:15,742 --> 00:14:18,952 If we go to the airport, it's a $45 flat fee. 312 00:14:18,953 --> 00:14:21,020 Just so you know. This is all your fault. 313 00:14:21,021 --> 00:14:22,455 My fault? What did I do? 314 00:14:22,456 --> 00:14:23,974 You lost him! 315 00:14:23,975 --> 00:14:27,127 If he's not huddled up in your crack den like a fetal mouse, 316 00:14:27,128 --> 00:14:28,394 he could be anywhere. 317 00:14:28,395 --> 00:14:31,548 No offense, but you lost him first. 318 00:14:35,453 --> 00:14:36,853 Okay, we're here. 319 00:14:39,231 --> 00:14:41,291 Hey, if you see anybody with a hammer, run! 320 00:14:43,994 --> 00:14:46,344 Oh, hey, man. I just went down to the Goodwill and picked up some... 321 00:14:46,346 --> 00:14:48,580 Oh, my God, Eddie, you're... 322 00:14:48,582 --> 00:14:50,236 thriving! 323 00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:53,057 Hey, if either of you lost a tooth, it's in the stairwell. 324 00:14:58,299 --> 00:15:00,721 Mom? What are you doing here? 325 00:15:00,722 --> 00:15:03,156 I was worried you... 326 00:15:03,157 --> 00:15:05,010 forgot to bring clean underwear. 327 00:15:05,011 --> 00:15:08,778 Knowing you, you probably left home without packing any spares. 328 00:15:08,779 --> 00:15:11,044 For your information, I packed eight pairs. 329 00:15:11,045 --> 00:15:12,552 That way, I can do laundry on Sunday 330 00:15:12,553 --> 00:15:14,101 and not have to wear my swimsuit as underwear. 331 00:15:14,102 --> 00:15:16,304 We all know that mesh never recovers. 332 00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,205 You figured it out. 333 00:15:18,207 --> 00:15:20,908 I love what you've done to this place, man. 334 00:15:20,909 --> 00:15:24,235 I mean, it's not really my style, but... it works. 335 00:15:24,728 --> 00:15:26,845 Eddie did this? 336 00:15:26,847 --> 00:15:28,517 By himself? 337 00:15:28,518 --> 00:15:30,611 I told you I can take care of myself, Mom. 338 00:15:30,612 --> 00:15:32,253 When are you gonna start believing me? 339 00:15:32,254 --> 00:15:34,739 Fine. We'll talk about it on the way home. 340 00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:36,466 No, we won't. 341 00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,124 I'm going to the store to buy olive oil 342 00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:40,016 for the bruschetta I'm making for tonight's dinner. 343 00:15:40,017 --> 00:15:42,496 Horace only owns... massage oil. 344 00:15:42,947 --> 00:15:45,283 - You went through my nightstand? - You mean the Mervyn's bag 345 00:15:45,284 --> 00:15:46,841 hanging on the bathroom door handle? 346 00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:48,353 I thought that was trash. 347 00:15:48,354 --> 00:15:49,938 Stay out of my stuff, man. 348 00:16:01,349 --> 00:16:03,505 Dad? What are you doing here? 349 00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:05,884 What are you doing here? In a bar? 350 00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:07,805 And why did you quit volleyball? 351 00:16:07,806 --> 00:16:09,190 Because I hate volleyball. 352 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,542 But you said you loved it. 353 00:16:11,543 --> 00:16:14,336 I did at the beginning. And then I didn't. 354 00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:15,603 But by the time I figured that out, 355 00:16:15,604 --> 00:16:17,265 you'd already gone and made it "our thing". 356 00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:19,332 All of a sudden, you were Mr. Volleyball. 357 00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:20,568 No, I wasn't. 358 00:16:20,569 --> 00:16:22,920 You drove me to Tampa so I could get my volleyball signed 359 00:16:22,921 --> 00:16:25,369 by former Olympic bronze medalist Yoko Zetterlund. 360 00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:26,909 Like I even know who that is! 361 00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:29,794 You said that was one of the top five moments of your life. 362 00:16:29,795 --> 00:16:30,868 Well, I lied! 363 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:35,259 Look, this is my song. 364 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,951 I gotta go. I'll see you at home. 365 00:16:39,988 --> 00:16:43,024 I am a terrible mother. No, you're not. 366 00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:45,087 You just pushed too hard. Being a mom is tough, 367 00:16:45,089 --> 00:16:46,527 and nobody's perfect. 368 00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:48,938 - God knows my mom isn't. - I know your mom. 369 00:16:48,939 --> 00:16:50,601 I bet she was real tough on you. 370 00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:52,328 Oh, no, she gave me everything I wanted, 371 00:16:52,329 --> 00:16:53,581 never yelled at me, 372 00:16:53,582 --> 00:16:55,859 let me eat ice cream for breakfast and dinner. 373 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:01,278 So your mom made you into the person you are today? 374 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,344 Without her constant love and support, 375 00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:05,531 I think I would've turned out pretty different. 376 00:17:05,532 --> 00:17:07,432 Mm, I bet you would have. 377 00:17:09,134 --> 00:17:11,134 Thank you, Horace. 378 00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:12,804 This has been very helpful. 379 00:17:12,805 --> 00:17:15,032 Do you have a piece of paper? I want to write Eddie a note. 380 00:17:15,039 --> 00:17:17,965 No, but you want to scratch on the wall? That's what I do. 381 00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:26,631 Mind if I cut in, amigo? 382 00:17:26,632 --> 00:17:28,713 Dad, what are you doing? You don't know any of the steps. 383 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,518 I'm the former Cha Cha King of Taipei. 384 00:17:30,519 --> 00:17:31,800 I don't need the steps. 385 00:17:34,643 --> 00:17:37,178 Sorry if I made a big deal out of you playing volleyball. 386 00:17:38,068 --> 00:17:40,441 I'm sorry I lied about it. I know you love it. 387 00:17:41,035 --> 00:17:43,484 - Well... - You don't love it? 388 00:17:44,199 --> 00:17:46,278 I was pretending to love it 'cause I thought you loved it. 389 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:47,800 I was trying to connect with you. 390 00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:49,941 So you don't know who Yoko Zetterlund is, either. 391 00:17:49,942 --> 00:17:51,573 Nobody does, son. 392 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:55,937 You didn't have to hide this from me. 393 00:17:55,938 --> 00:17:58,099 If you want to be a professional line dancer, 394 00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,484 your mom and I will support you. 395 00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:00,851 Relax, Dad. I don't. 396 00:18:00,852 --> 00:18:02,023 Oh, thank God. 397 00:18:02,024 --> 00:18:03,721 Your mother would've murdered us both. 398 00:18:05,290 --> 00:18:06,684 Line dancing is fun and everything, 399 00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,503 but the truth is, everyone treats me 400 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,671 like I've got it all figured out, 401 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,007 but I don't. 402 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:12,561 So I'm trying out different Emerys, 403 00:18:12,563 --> 00:18:14,755 - and that's hard to do when you... - Spatch your spike? 404 00:18:14,756 --> 00:18:16,234 I don't know what that means. 405 00:18:16,235 --> 00:18:17,451 Neither do I. 406 00:18:17,452 --> 00:18:20,307 I guess I can come on a little strong sometimes. 407 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,373 I just want to make sure I'm there for you. 408 00:18:22,374 --> 00:18:24,173 - Mind if I cut i... - Back off, Shania. 409 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,022 I'm talking to my son. 410 00:18:27,079 --> 00:18:28,832 I love that you're trying to connect with me, 411 00:18:28,833 --> 00:18:30,898 but it adds a lot of pressure. 412 00:18:30,899 --> 00:18:32,483 I just need some space sometimes. 413 00:18:32,484 --> 00:18:33,868 I get it. 414 00:18:33,869 --> 00:18:35,253 And I'll be here when you need me. 415 00:18:41,443 --> 00:18:44,112 Leroy, you fix a mean Shirley Temple. 416 00:18:46,449 --> 00:18:47,925 Mom, where's Dad? 417 00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,678 Horace said he was attacked by a bunch of bees! 418 00:18:49,679 --> 00:18:50,764 Your dad's fine. 419 00:18:50,765 --> 00:18:52,632 That was just a clever ploy to get you home. 420 00:18:54,105 --> 00:18:56,090 There's something I want to tell you. 421 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,705 What? You're right and I'm wrong? I've heard it before. 422 00:18:58,706 --> 00:18:59,994 No. 423 00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:04,662 I was scared I'd pushed you away. 424 00:19:04,663 --> 00:19:07,422 But after talking to Horace, I realized I hadn't. 425 00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:10,638 I pushed you out. Ew. Gross, Mom. 426 00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:12,041 Ew, not like that! 427 00:19:12,042 --> 00:19:13,847 Pushed you out of the nest. 428 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:16,382 Which is my job as your mom. 429 00:19:16,383 --> 00:19:18,579 And as usual, I was too good at it, 430 00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,121 and now you're ready early. 431 00:19:20,122 --> 00:19:21,365 So you're welcome. 432 00:19:21,366 --> 00:19:22,418 Thank you. 433 00:19:22,419 --> 00:19:23,701 Wait, for what? 434 00:19:23,702 --> 00:19:25,892 Well, you could've had Horace's mom... 435 00:19:25,893 --> 00:19:28,889 A nice mom who gives you hugs 436 00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:30,424 and lets you eat ice cream for dinner. 437 00:19:30,425 --> 00:19:32,543 But instead, you got me, and because of that, 438 00:19:32,544 --> 00:19:34,195 you know how to take care of yourself. 439 00:19:35,297 --> 00:19:36,717 I'm sorry I ran away. 440 00:19:37,368 --> 00:19:40,526 If it's any consolation, Horace's apartment sucked. 441 00:19:40,528 --> 00:19:42,045 Everything was covered in cat hair, 442 00:19:42,047 --> 00:19:43,493 and he doesn't even own a cat. 443 00:19:44,670 --> 00:19:47,058 Oh, I almost forgot. 444 00:19:47,059 --> 00:19:49,343 I need you to move the computer into my room. 445 00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:51,362 What?! But you don't even use it! 446 00:19:52,455 --> 00:19:53,908 I guess I'll have to learn. 447 00:19:54,749 --> 00:19:57,118 We'll have to keep in touch somehow, right? 448 00:19:59,134 --> 00:20:00,233 Wait... 449 00:20:00,235 --> 00:20:02,038 so I can go on the Cultural Exchange to Taiwan? 450 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,858 Fine. 451 00:20:06,108 --> 00:20:08,326 Hey, this will be nice for me, too. 452 00:20:08,328 --> 00:20:11,315 I look forward to being bumped down to part-time mom. 453 00:20:11,316 --> 00:20:13,017 So, what are you gonna do with all your free time? 454 00:20:13,018 --> 00:20:16,254 Oh, I'm sure I'll find someone else to boss around. 455 00:20:22,401 --> 00:20:23,701 Mom?! 456 00:20:23,703 --> 00:20:25,134 It's 3:00 in the morning. 457 00:20:27,486 --> 00:20:29,070 I have a problem. 458 00:20:38,659 --> 00:20:39,819 You'll stop cleaning 459 00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:43,701 when I tell you to stop cleaning, Robot Louis! 460 00:20:44,928 --> 00:20:47,652 - That's my favorite game. - Pretty cool, right? 461 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:51,174 Hey, wait. Where's grandma? 462 00:20:51,175 --> 00:20:53,175 Oh, she's around. 463 00:20:53,177 --> 00:20:58,133 _ 464 00:20:58,135 --> 00:21:03,139 Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com 33819

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