All language subtitles for sm_to

From
30 rockefeller Plaza in

New York, it's "late night with
Seth meyers."

Tonight ‐‐
Timothy olyphant,

fashion icon,
Diane Von furstenberg,

featuring the 8g band with
Fred armisen.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Seth meyers.

Good evening, I'm
Seth meyers.

This is "late night."
How's everybody doing tonight?

That is fantastic to hear.

In that case, let's get to the
news.

Attorney General William barr
testified before the house

appropriations committee for the
first time since he released his

four‐page summary of the
muller report.

And even he was redacted.

According to a new poll, former
vice president Joe biden is the

favorite ‐‐ the favored
presidential candidate among

Democratic primary voters.
That's right.

He's the hands‐down favorite.
No, Joe, hands down!

Put 'em down, Joe!

Hands down.

California congressman
Eric swalwell announced last

night he's running for

president.
So just to recap, here's
everyone who's running so far.

They all got a shot.

It was announced yesterday that
Oprah has donated $2 million to

Puerto Rico to help with
long‐term hurricane relief

efforts.
"That's from both of us," said

steadman.

According to new report, earth's
glaciers have lost 9 trillion

metric tons of ice between
1961 and 2016.

Said other glaciers, "oh, my
god.

You look amazing."

A semi‐truck overturned in
new Mexico today and spilled

hundreds of candles onto the
highway.

It caused several traffic jams
and one elimination ceremony.

A dog in new Mexico last week

tested positive for meth and
mdma after its owner took the

pet for a walk in a nearby park.
The owner first became

suspicious when the dog fetched
a glow stick.

That's right, a dog tested

positive methamphetamine after a
walk in a nearby park.

When asked what breed it was,
the owner said, "a meth lab."

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a

great show for you tonight.

He's starring in the new season
of "Santa clarita diet" on

Netflix, as well as the upcoming
animated film, "missing link."

Timothy olyphant is here
tonight.

So happy he's back.

Her annual award show, the dvf
awards, honors extraordinary

women committed to women's
causes.

Diane Von furstenberg is back,
you guys.

Love her.

So happy she's here.
So I was scrolling through

reddit earlier today, and I saw
this really interesting post

about migrating tree frogs and
then ‐‐

wait, I'm sorry, I could be

wrong here but I think I smell
smoke.

And that could mean only one
thing.
It's time for "ya burnt."

Welcome to burn zone,
everybody.

We got a lot of topics to sizzle
through, but not a lot of time.

Over here is the burner.
Let's turn on the gas and load

her up.
Woo‐hoo!

Feed me, Seymour.

First up, massages.
Hey, massages, if I wanted to

lie face down and listen to
Enya, I'd just get clinical

depression.

And if I wanted a stranger to
rub my shoulders, I'd sit in

front of Joe biden on amtrak.
Side burn, Joe.

- >> Side burn.
- And, hey, masseuses,

want to know why my shoulders
are so tense?

Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because a stranger told me

strip naked and is now prodding
me while I pretend I'm not

holding in 100 farts.

Also, massage therapists, if
you're going to insist on

calling yourself a therapist,
I'm going to insist on telling

you about my dad and crying.

Massages, better take those hot
stones off, because ya burnt.

Gmail auto reply suggestions,
could you be any more off?

I got an email from the New York
blood drive saying they need

donations now more than ever.
And you suggested I reply,

"ha‐ha, neat."

If you're going to give me
suggestions, at least make them

useful.
Like when someone sends a work

email at 3:00 a. M., you could
suggest "f off, Darren."

Gmail auto reply suggestions,

here's a suggestion for you.
Ya burnt.

Hey, natural peanut butter.
Do you like fun snacks?

Well, just pop open a jar of
this dried out nuts cement

topped with three inches of oil.

Stick a spoon in it and get to
mixing.

And natural peanut butter, why

do I have stir you myself?
You're already twice as

expensive as regular peanut
butter.

Not to mention, I have to pay to

replace the three spoons I bent
in half in the process.

And the whole thing made my

shoulder tighten up so bad, I
had to back to that masseuse I

don't like.

- >> And now he's naked?
- Natural peanut butter,

don't be jelly, but you ain't my
jam.

So now, ya burnt.
Engagement rings, who is the

genius who came up with
investing your nest egg into

something that fits in a sink
drain?

And this thing is supposed to

cost three months of my salary.
Every kiss begins with "k."

But every engagement begins with
some guy's bank account getting

f'ed in the b.

Oh, he went to Jared?
I'll tell you where Jared can

go.
Straight to hell.

Hey, engagement rings, here's a

finger for you.
Ya burnt.

Marie kondo, oh, you want me to
get rid of anything that doesn't

spark joy?
Well, in that case, get the hell

out of my house.

Stop trying to get me to throw
out my old t‐shirts.

I like my old t‐shirts.
Sure, al Gore and Joe lieberman

aren't running for president
now.

But who knows what tomorrow will

bring?
>> Gore, lieberman 2020.

Feel the un‐excitement.

Hey, Marie kondo, go
spark yourself.

Ya burnt.
Ah, swans.

Look at you, struttin' around,
thinking you're so much better

than geese.

Your just hot ducks with
attitudes.

Also, you're still a goddamn

bird.
You have a weird beak,

webbed‐feet, and no arms, you
freak.

Also, swans, stop giving ugly

kids hope that they might grow
up to be hot.

Aside from Jerry O'Connell, that
rarely happens.

Swans, go jump in a lake.
Ya burnt.

Dads in TV commercials, you
can't do anything.

You can't get an erection.
You can't get a spot out of

carpet.

Why did she marry you?

Also if you and the boys really
love watching sports so much,

why are you all wearing generic
gear?

Well, nothing better than
grabbing a bag of name‐brand

chips and rooting for my
favorite team, the blue team.

Dads in commercials, ya burnt.

Fred from "scooby‐doo," you
dumb, handsome bastard.

Way to show up after velma

already solved every mystery and
mansplain what everyone already

knows.

Oh, what?

Oh, thank you, Fred.
Also, can we talk about the

neckerchief?

You're not an Italian chef,
you're just a meatball.

You should pull it tighter until

you can't breathe anymore and
you die, bitch.

>> Woah, geeze, Seth.

Yeah.
>> Pull it back, man.

No, no, you're right.
You're right.

I took it way too far.
Hey, Fred from "scooby‐doo."

Ra rurnt.

Up next, young love.

Oh.
That buzzer means we've run out

of time.
Looks like we'll have to burn

you innocent doe‐eyed virgins
the next time out.

This has been "ya burnt."

We'll be right back with
Timothy olyphant.

Welcome back,
everybody.

Give it up for the 8g band right
over there.

Also, so happy this week.

Fred armisen is back with us
behind the drums.

And Fred, we were talking back

stage that you are a reader.
You are a lover of fiction.

Accurate?
>> Accurate, yes.

And you were lamenting
that you're so busy with your

many projects that you sometimes
don't have a chance to read

fiction as much as you used to.
>> I wish I had more time.

Yeah.
So you developed a technique,

and tell me if this is true, if
I'm getting this right, whereas

you can look at the cover of a
book and from the cover alone

you can glean all the
characters, the entire plot,

every line of dialogue and get
the full experience of reading

the book.
>> Yes.

I can glean that.

Wow.
And the whole thing takes you

how long?
If I show you a cover, how

quickly can you tell me
everything?

- >> 15 seconds.
- Wow, all right.

Do you mind if we try it again?
>> Let's do it.

All right, everybody.

It's time once again for a
segment called "Fred judges a
book by it's cover."

All right, ready?
>> Yeah.

Here we go.
>> Oh, okay.

So, this is ‐‐ this is one of
those Jon reznick thrillers.

- Okay, yeah, yeah.
- And ‐‐

and it's a ‐‐ so Jon reznick

likes to write about a fictional
writer named j. B. Turner.

So ‐‐

wait.
So, Jon reznick is the author?

>> He's the author but he
presents it as a book by

j.b. Turner.
So, it's a, sort of, book in a

- book.
- Okay.

>> And it's about this guy whole

is searching the world for the
perfect vanilla cake.

And he just walks ‐‐ he just

walks all over the place.
And he's, like, looking for this

cake.
And, finally, now you think ‐‐

by the cover of this book, you
think he found it.

He has not found it.

This is ‐‐
>> Seth: You got to "and

finally" so quickly, by the way.
>> Yes.

Yes.
But ‐‐ the end is the beginning.

So it's ‐‐ he comes upon this

vanilla cake that is incredible.
And it's in the shape of this,

- sort of, Parthenon.
- Uh‐huh.

>> And he walks towards it.

He's like, "oh, I'm going to eat
this thing."

And he's like, "you know what?
I am not.

I think there's going to be one
better."

So, he continues walking.
But he walks backwards away from

the cover of the book.

And then there are ‐‐ he walks
backwards and then there are

- 20 blank pages.
- You say, "away from the

cover of the book."
So ‐‐

- >> yes.
- Within the book ‐‐

- >> yes.
- ‐‐ there's a cover of

the book.
>> It's very deep.

- Very deep.
- Yeah.

>> And, so, he walks backwards
and then there are 20 empty

pages, because j. B. Turner has
disappeared.

I can not give away the ending.

I can not.
It's so exciting.

- I'm going to leave it at that.
- Well, that's great.

Can I tell you what the
publisher says this book is

about?
>> Okay.

Jon reznick is a black
ops specialist dispatched to

carry out a high level hit, but
the target is not the man

reznick expected.
In an instant, the operation is

compromised and reznick is on
the run with the man he was sent

to kill.
>> No luck cake.

Oh, yeah, okay.

So, it's very similar.
Give it up for Fred armisen,

everybody.

Our first guest tonight, I'm
very ‐‐

>> Seth!
Hey, Seth.

- Seth.
- Oh, hey.

What's up, Timothy?
Timothy, everybody.

>> Uh ‐‐ I was wondering if you

could introduce me as record
setting four time guest,

Timothy olyphant.
I think the audience would get a

- big kick out of that.
- Yeah, yeah.

The only thing is we've actually
had a few guest who've been on

more than four times.
>> Yeah, but, do people really

know that?

I mean, I think so.
>> Yeah, you think, but you

don't know.
So, let's do it my way and then

after the show you can check the
Twitter and see if anyone loses

their.

Okay.
>> Thanks, man.

Our first guest tonight
is an Emmy nominated actor who

you know from his work on
"justified" and "deadwood."

His film, "missing link," opens
in theaters on April 12th.

You can catch him in the third
season of "Santa clarita diet,"

which is currently streaming on
Netflix.

Please welcome record setting
four time guest,
Timothy olyphant.

Hi, welcome back.
I mean, congratulations.

Record setting fourth visit.
>> Oh, come on, Seth.

You know I don't care about that
stuff.

You know what I do care about?

What do you care about?
>> These people.

Oh, yeah, right.

I care about that kick ass band
over there.

Yeah, all right.

>> You know I care about you,
Fred.

>> I do.
>> We're both big j. B. Turner

- fans.
- Wow, yeah, of course.

You've read the ‐‐
>> and I care about you.

Thank you.
>> How are you?

I'm really well.
Thank you.

- >> How's your family?
- My family is good.

I actually want to ask ‐‐
'cause you were here right after

my son who's 1 was born.
>> Cash.

Well, no.
It's ash.

And you were critical of the

names last time out.
>> I remember being ‐‐ now that

you mention it.
But today I was excited, 'cause

I guess I thought in my mind,
memory is not a reliable

narrator.
In my mind I thought, "he called

his kid cash.
That's cool."

- But it's not cash.
- It's ash.

- >> Yeah.
- Okay.

>> Uh ‐‐ how old is he?

He's three.
>> Not too late.

Well, he knows its ash.

I feel it'd be like ‐‐
and you know, he's in ‐‐

- >> it'll be a vague memory.
- I don't know.

>> It'll be a vague memory.

You might probably
forget, 'cause your kids are a

little older.
Three ‐‐ when they're three they

have all ‐‐ they ask questions
about everything.

If we all of a sudden just
switched to cash, I think he

would just constantly want to
know why that happened.

- >> He might.
- Yeah.

- >> Okay.
- What about Axel?

>> And then ‐‐
axis.

Axel.
>> Axel.

Yeah.
>> That's right.

No.

- >> Huh?
- That is not why.

>> How is Axel?
Everything is coming up roses

- for Axel.
- That is not ‐‐

we did not name him after
Axel Rose.

>> Now, I remember, I saw him.
I say, "what's up, Axel?

Welcome to jungle."

- I saw it.
- How did he react to

that as a 1‐year‐old?
>> He's more of a

Mr. Brown stone fan.

He's more of a ‐‐
>> yeah.

>> He likes that acoustic ‐‐ the
acoustic stuff.

Do you ‐‐ you're coming
around though?

Are you coming around to ash and
Axel's names?

- >> Not yet.
- Okay.

>> But ‐‐

we'll check back next
time.

- >> Yeah.
- Yeah.

- >> Give me a couple of minutes.
- All right.

Oh, yeah.
So it might happen within the

body of the interview.
>> I'm sure they're going to be

great.
I'm sure they're going to be

- awesome.
- They're already great.

I don't ‐‐

>> oh, yeah.
They're great now?

Yeah.
They're great kids.

>> Well, it's new.
It's just 'cause it's new.

- You don't know.
- I've lived with them ‐‐

- >> I've got teenagers.
- Yeah.

>> So you ‐‐
>> Seth: Have you ‐‐ have there

been instances where they been
out?

- >> Disappointed.
- Yeah.

>> Yeah.

But you ‐‐ now your ‐‐
they're fully great company now,

I would imagine.
You're teenagers.

>> You know what, yeah.
I'm teaching ‐‐ well, yeah.

I'm teaching my son how to make
cocktails.

- So, that's fun.
- Oh, wow.

That's great.
>> Yeah.

- You got that to look forward to.
- And when you finish

them, who drinks them?
>> He drinks half of them.

And I drink all them.

I would ‐‐
>> drink some ‐‐

but we're ‐‐ yeah.
Because he's ‐‐ my kids are

older.
He's going to college.

Oh, yeah.
So, that's good.

- >> Yeah, yeah.
- I feel like that ‐‐

you'd want to ‐‐ he's going to
have cocktails when he gets

there, so you might as well.
>> Yeah, it's tricky nowadays.

You don't know what's ‐‐ what to
tell him or not to tell him.

- They're teenagers.
- One thing that's good,

you'll get to ‐‐
>> California ‐‐

yeah.
>> Weed is legal.

Yeah.
>> And in New York, it's not

legal.
Kind of took me by surprise.

Like, when I got ‐‐

usually in New York everything
is ahead.

Yeah.
>> You know what I mean?

For years, New York, you'd say,
"oh, there's a time difference.

A little after midnight 2019.
And in California it's

- like 1997."
- Right.

>> But now, California is ahead

- of the curve on the weed thing.
- Yeah.

Are you taking advantage of your
new legal status?

>> So, yeah.

- It's awesome.
- Yeah?

>> Yeah, my wife ‐‐ we are not
weed people.

Okay.
>> By the way, I want to say,

nor do I think of us as
irresponsible people.

But its ‐‐
my wife came home the other day

and just announced that she went
in ‐‐

they have these stores in
California now.

- Medmen.
- Medmen?

Okay.
>> It's like an apple store

- for ‐‐ for weed.
- Got it.

It's like very helpful staff

and ‐‐
>> you just walk in.

She's like, "so, we're having
dinner."

The children are there.
Please don't think any less of

us.

They've turned out ‐‐ really, I
think they're going to be ‐‐

- they're good kids.
- Yeah.

And look, you're just following
the laws that the state of

California has laid out.
>> Exactly.

Yeah.
>> So, exactly.

So, my wife just comes home ‐‐
we're having dinner.

Family dinner.
And she's like, "I went to

medmen today."
And I was like, "what?"

And she's like, "yeah, I just
walked in there.

And I got some stuff."
And I'm like ‐‐ I said, "what

did you even ‐‐"
she said, "I went in."

And they said, "what would you
like?"

And she said, "I would like a
glass of wine without the

- calories."
- wow.

>> And they gave her a bag and
said, "there you go."

So, edibles.
>> Edibles.

They gave her a bag of
edibles.

- >> Yeah.
- And have you ‐‐ have

you done it yet?
>> I did.

I had to do some press the other
day.

I was like ‐‐ you know, it was

- like Hollywood foreign press.
- Oh, yeah.

- >> Have you met those people?
- The golden globes

people.
I have met those people.

>> Don't get me wrong.
I'd love to be nominated.

But those people are bat

they are an interesting

lot.
>> Yeah, no.

I was on my ‐‐
>> Seth: Because it's a little

bit like Noah's arc for press,
'cause it's one person from

every country.
>> I just ‐‐ I ‐‐ yeah.

Yeah.
>> I have no idea what's going

on there.
But you got ‐‐ but I went to go

speak to them.
My wife said, "why are you going

to go talk to them?"
And I said, "what?

I'd like to be invited to the
golden globes."

And she said, "would you?"
And I said, "let me rephrase.

I'd like to complain about being
invited to the golden globes."

Yeah, there you go.

- >> You know?
- Right, 'cause ‐‐

- >> I'm an actor.
- As soon as you have to

go to those things, it's a
nightmare.

>> Yeah, it's what you do.
You complain about, I got to go

- to the golden globes.
- Right.

>> Been nominated again.

By the way, I don't understand
the story.

I've never been nominated.
But, in this version, I've

- already been nominated once.
- Yeah, yeah.

>> So, I said, "I got to go do
press from like 10:00 a. M. To

like 4:00 p. M."
And I was like, "I don't want to

drink all day but I still, you
know, I got to get through it."

Yeah.

I said, "tell me about these
edibles again."

And she said ‐‐ I said, "have
you tried one?"

She said, "yeah."
I said, "anything?"

She's like, "I didn't notice
anything.

I didn't notice, you know?
You might want to take two."

And I said nothing.

Yeah.

But then I said, "really?
Nothing?

Like, nothing?"
Well, she goes, "well, I did

call to book a message.
And they told me I called ten

minutes earlier and already
booked a message."

Yeah.

- >> Yeah.
- So that ‐‐ that's

something.
That counts as something.

- >> So, I just stayed with one.
- Yeah, okay.

- >> Yeah.
- And did it help your

day of press?
>> The interviews haven't come

- out yet.
- Yeah.

>> But I feel they went great.

You ‐‐ I do want to say
that this ‐‐ you're here right

now.
This actually classifies as

press right now.
>> Oh, yeah.

Did you?
>> No.

Okay.
>> No, no.

'Not ‐‐
>> Seth: Thank you.

Thank you.
>> No, no.

- So much respect.
- Thank you.

Oh, my god.
Thank you so much.

- >> No, I wouldn't come on high.
- Blessed.

I'm so blessed.
>> I've been drinking.

You've been drinking.

Did you ‐‐ is it true that ‐‐
>> I look forward to coming

here.
You know that.

I look forward to
having you here.

>> I mean, I know the whole
thing is ‐‐

I mean, do you get ‐‐
I get nervous on ‐‐

do you really?
Still?

>> Yeah.
If I don't seem nervous, it's

because I'm pretending.

But I do get ‐‐
yeah.

Oh, my god.
They're frightening.

I mean, I would ‐‐
the first time, when I was ‐‐

I will say this, and I'm not
just saying it.

I do think it's more stressful
being a guest on these shows

than being the host.
Once you've been a host ‐‐

- >> that's been my experience.
- Yeah.

>> Yeah.

Like the one time ‐‐
>> Seth: Yeah.

>> ‐‐ I hosted ‐‐

- hold on a second.
- Is it kicking in?

Is your edible kicking in?

>> I convince myself before I
come out that I am the host.

Oh, got you.
>> I find that helpful.

Yeah.
>> And I think that's what we're

- talking about.
- Yeah.

>> I just say, "oh, just pretend
you're hosting."

Exactly.
>> Can you hold that thought?

Sure?
>> See what I mean?

I have never ‐‐

- >> please.
- I have never ‐‐

I'm the host of this show.
I have never, in the middle of

one of you sentences told you to
hold that thought.

Where are you getting ‐‐

>> why not?
You're the host.

I know but that's not
what a host ‐‐

>> you've got the desk.
You've got the protection.

- You've got the desk.
- Yeah, I do have the

protection.
>> You got pencils.

You can just say, "hold up."
And make a note.

It's not ‐‐ you know
what, it's nice about being a

host.
And I know this is a little

cliche, I don't have to think
about the lower half of my body

at all.
Like, you're probably think

about all this right now.
And the amount of brain space

you're wasting like, crossed
legs, uncrossed legs.

You know?
>> By the way, it's sad that

he's speaking truthfully.

No, meaning that, I can't tell
you.

As soon as you said it, you know
how many times I've been, like,

on a talk show and gone like,
"are my legs showing?"

Yeah.
Right.

>> It's embarrassing.

It's embarrassing.
>> Like, to think about or ‐‐

and you have wonderful
legs.

>> You know what?

And that's what I keep telling
myself.

- Yet it still gets to me.
- Yeah.

- >> You know what I mean?
- Sure.

>> There's a vulnerability.
I don't know if you're picking

up on it.
But it's here.

Deep inside.

But this is ‐‐ this
just speaks to the marvel of you

as an actor that you're hiding
it so well.

Because you might be nervous,
but you're acting like you own

the place.

>> Well, listen, maybe I'll get
a golden globe for this

performance.

- Don't start.
- I do want to tick off

some of your projects.
>> We're here ‐‐ by the way,

- there's a bunch of them.
- You got ‐‐ there's

three.
There's three things I want to

ask you about.
>> Okay, three.

"Santa clarita diet."
Season three, right?

>> Season three.
Streaming on Netflix.

Streaming on Netflix.

- >> Moving on.
- Moving on.

"Missing link."
>> Oh, so charming.

"Missing link."
Well ‐‐‐

>> oh, you got kids.
You're going to go see this.

Uh ‐‐
they're a little young for it, I

think.
>> No, but eventually you will.

By the way, the great thing
about these animated films ‐‐

yeah.
>> And I'm speaking just for me.

- I hear the residuals are great.
- Wow, okay.

>> You're going to watch it
late.

You're going to watch it years
from now.

Right.
>> 'Cause it's a good one.

It's a classic.
It's like rotten tomatoes, like,

100%.
110% fresh.

Is it?
Already?

- >> 110% fresh.
- And which of these

fellows here do you play?
>> That's a little embarrassing.

You would think I wouldn't be,
but I am that guy.

Yeah.

What's the name?
>> Last name's stank.

Stank.
I believe the first name is

Willard.

It's some kind ‐‐
>> Seth: You really found the

character on this one.

- >> You know me.
- Yeah.

- >> I'm method.
- Yeah.

>> So, when I'm in it, I'm in
it.

Yeah.
>> But you also know me.

- When I'm out, I'm out.
- Yeah.

>> I can't even, it's like ‐‐
>> Seth: You just left

Willard stank ‐‐
>> I can't even remember it.

‐‐ in the headphones.
>> The fact that I could even

remember it.
'Cause I was so deep, I don't

even remember when it happens.
It's like a ‐‐

it's like a ‐‐
>> Seth: Yeah.

>> I don't know where I'm going
with this.

I forgot to ask you ‐‐

is it true ‐‐ I don't want to
lose the opportunity to ask this

question.
Is it true you're dog got into

the edibles?
>> Oh, my god.

This is the thing when they
legalize drugs they don't ‐‐

they don't ‐‐ they just legalize
it.

And then they say, "people will
figure it out."

I feel like that's not
true, but go ahead.

>> But listen, New York, 'cause

it's coming.
The legal drugs are coming.

And they're going to give you
these little things that look

- like gummie bears.
- Right.

>> They look like little, uh ‐‐
little kid treats.

And what they don't tell you is
the dogs don't know they're

- drugs.
- Yeah.

>> So ‐‐ 'cause you think, "oh,

its legal now.
Just leave it anywhere."

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah.

Right.
>> Cops show up, who cares?

Leave it on the couch.

- I'm not concerned.
- Yeah.

- >> But the dog doesn't know.
- Right.

>> He doesn't know those are
drugs.

Yeah.
>> And then all of a sudden, if

the aspca or anyone ‐‐ we've
taken care of our pets for

- years, fine.
- A lot ‐‐ I do want to

point out that a lot of this
interview has been you stressing

how responsible you are.

- >> I do it for you, Seth.
- Yeah.

- >> Because you have little kids.
- I do.

- >> I'm trying to set an example.
- Yes, okay.

I will take it as an example.
>> Okay.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

>> And maybe you think ‐‐
>> Seth: Hold that thought.

Okay, now go.
>> It's really ‐‐

now go.
Now go, now go.

>> Who's hosting this show, god
damn it?

I've lost control of my own
show.

So the dog ‐‐ what's

the dog's name?
>> Little Bruno.

Little Bruno.
>> Just a little guy.

Okay.
>> I had one.

How many pounds?
>> I felt it.

Yeah.
Right.

- >> He had like six.
- Oh, wow.

>> By the way, if you wonder ‐‐

if you ever ask yourself, "i
wonder if you show up to a vet

clinic," you know, "with a
stoned dog if they'll be like,

'oh, my god.
What?!'"

they won't.

He'll be like the third dog that
showed up high.

They'll be like, "no, no, we had

a boxer here earlier today way
more stoned than that."

They say, "come back in

45 minutes and pick him up."
And then ‐‐ so, you say, "he'll

be fine?
'Cause we have questions."

And they say, "we'll give a
brochure when you leave.

Gotcha.
>> They've printed a brochure.

That's how common it is.

They haven't ‐‐ they haven't
been like ‐‐

and is it ‐‐ what is
it ‐‐ like, do they put on an

album?
Like, what do they tell you to

do when you're dog's stoned?

- >> Put on an album.
- Do they like vinyl?

I'm running out of time, and

I've ‐‐
you just have to come out ‐‐

when does this come out?
When does the "deadwood"

movie ‐‐ gonna come out?
>> It's in may‐ish.

All right.
That's soon.

>> May ‐‐ yeah, because it's
april‐ish.

- It's April.
- Yeah, it's April.

This is so exciting.
>> By the way, speakin' of going

deep method, look at that
'stache.

There you go.

- >> I went big.
- So that's ‐‐ and that

is ‐‐ you grew that?
>> I'll tell you why.

One, the real guy had a huge
mustache.

And I always thought, if we're
ever going to do it again I'm

going to really go deep method,
be the guy.

Did you grow the
mustache in the show?

>> That's not important.
Two ‐‐

I thought the bigger I go, if

this thing sucks, I'll just tell
people it's not me.

Yeah.

It is true.
You can barely ‐‐ because the

hat is a little low, and the
mustache.

>> You got the hat and 'stache.
You'd be like ‐‐ "what did you

think of the deadwood movie"?
"I thought duhamel did a great

- job."
- yeah.

Oh, there you go.

That is ‐‐ you can totally put
it on duhamel.

>> Yeah, look at Josh duhamel.
They got duhamel to play

bullock.

I thought he did fine.
I don't know what the big ‐‐

- everyone's complaining.
- This is ‐‐ the first

time we met, we were talking
about ‐‐ 'cause this has been

rumored for years.
This wonderful show, three

seasons only on hbo.
Would they do a movie?

And they did a movie.
And I can't believe it.

I'm so happy.
>> Can I be Sincere for one

- second before we go?
- Yeah.

>> I've seen it and I couldn't
be more proud of it.

And uh ‐‐ and it's just ‐‐ it's
lovely.

- I hope people enjoy it.
- And it was obviously a

big show for your career, and
your life.

- >> Sure.
- And was it great to see

everybody?
>> It was.

- It really was.
- Yeah.

>> I think that ‐‐ I resisted
the idea for a long time.

I thought it was a very, very,
very bad idea.

I've really just enjoyed the
experience.

I think I underestimated the
impact those people had on my

life so many years ago.
And that show ‐‐ it was just a

remarkable experience, and it
was just ‐‐ very thankful for

the opportunity to go back and
see them all again.

I'm genuinely thrilled
to see it.

>> Do we want to cry at the end
of the interview?

- Is that where this is going?
- I guess so.

>> It felt like it just got
very ‐‐

all right, let's ‐‐
>> let's very ‐‐ and I'm

- thankful for this time here.
- I am, too, and uh ‐‐

>> how many times has it been?
Four?

This is four times, and
it's the only person who's ever

been here four times.

I'm sorry.

Record‐setting four‐time guest
Timothy olphant, everybody.

"Santa clarita diet" streaming
on Netflix.

We'll be right back with
Diane Von furstenberg.

Our next guest is an
award‐winning designer and

fashion icon who will celebrate
the 10th annual dvf awards on

April 11th at the

Brooklyn museum.
Please welcome back to the show
Diane Von furstenberg.

Diane, welcome back!
>> Oh.

I'm so happy to see
you.

- >> Right.
- It's such a pleasure.

So this is the 10th year of the
dvf awards.

- >> Yes.
- And this was an event

you started for women honoring
other women.

>> Well it's to honor women,
extraordinary women, who have

the strength to fight, the
courage to survive, and the

leadership to inspire.
Because all of those women have

gone through real hardship.
And they survive and therefore

now they're inspire.
And they are all extraordinary.

And I can't believe it's already
10 years.

10 years and it's such
an inspiring night to be at.

One of my favorite things ‐‐
and I've seen you speak at this

event.
I've seen you speak at numerous

other events.
You're one of my favorite public

speakers, because you seem very
relaxed.

Do you ever get nervous at any
of these things?

>> No, because I like to speak.
I ‐‐

I mean, I do.

I actually ‐‐
and I always kind of try to

impress myself.
And so I always try to say

something I haven't said before.
So I learn.

And do you ever ‐‐ in

the moment, do you ever think to
yourself, "oh, this is a good

one.
I'm really doing a good one

right here."

>> Usually after I said it.

Yeah.
>> Once I heard it.

Yeah.
And was this something when you

were a little girl did you
think, "oh, I'm going to be

somebody who is going to speak
in front of people like this?"

>> My mother, my mother ‐‐ even
on my first birthday, she always

made me do public speaking.
I mean, you know, yes.

So it's part of me.
And then, I did a lot of them as

a little girl in front of the
mirror.

Oh, wow.
>> And because you see the

mirror is where you really
understand that you really have

total control of yourself.
You do this.

- She does that.
- Oh wow.

>> You do this.

She does that.
You know?

And you realize, "oh, my god, I
can make her do whatever I

want."

That's a fantastic
thing to realize at a young age.

>> Yeah.
And that's how I really learned

my big lesson that the most
important relationship in life

is the one you have with
yourself.

That is just wonderful.

>> And then once you have a good
relationship with yourself, then

every other relationship is a
plus and not a must.

That's so good to hear.
That is so wonderful.

I have a lot of pluses in my
life.

- >> You do.
- You have a lot of

pluses in yours.
I do want to ask ‐‐ you know,

obviously there's a selection
process to find some of the

women that you're going to honor
on Thursday.

Who are some that we're going to
see?

>> Well, the big one, the
lifetime goes to Anita hill.

Wonderful.
>> Which is ‐‐

wonderful timing.

>> Which is such a privilege.
And Gloria steinem is going to

give it to her.
And they're both excited.

And I can't believe it.
And the inspiration will go to

Katy Perry.
And then there is Nadia murad

who I'm actually reading her
book right now on audio and

she's yazidi, and her entire
tribe got massacred.

And she was raped.
And, I mean, the whole thing is

just so awful.
And then, I was thinking about

it, and say, you know, what do
you do when something happens?

But the truth is that if you
save one life, you save a

dynasty behind that.
And you have to remember that.

So when we see tragedies, it
doesn't matter, if you can only

- save a few, it's worth it.
- You‐‐

you were in a situation, you

know, your family was obviously
in great peril years ago in

Europe.
>> My mother.

Okay, try to say ‐‐
>> Seth: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And yet, you are now ‐‐ one of
the other things that is under

your ‐‐
that you're taking care of right

now is the statue of Liberty
gala that's happening later this

year.
>> Yes.

And how did you get
involved with that?

>> All right, so, for those of
you who don't know, and why

should you know, I am the
temporary godmother of the

- statue of Liberty.
- Wonderful credit.

>> And ‐‐ and the work ‐‐ what I

did for it, is that I raised the
funds, a lot of money to build a

museum that's going to be on
Liberty island.

And I did the documentary for
hbo, a book.

And I learned so much about lady
Liberty that she was actually

financed, it's the people of
France who decided that they

were going to give that to the
people of America.

- So, anyway, so, yes.
- That's such a ‐‐ it's

very hard to think now of
another country wanting to do

something that nice for us.

You know what I mean?
>> I know.

But you see, I discovered, at
the time they weren't very happy

about what was happening in
France, the intellectuals.

And they looked at America.
It was the declaration of

independence.
It was the abolition of slavery.

And they looked at the making of
democracy and they thought, "oh,

my god, this is great."
And they wanted to be part of

it.
And look what happened.

It's a nice ‐‐ it's a
nice reminder that if you do

nice things, someone will send
you a statue.

All you have to do is do the

right thing, and that is what is
going to happen.

It is always so lovely to see
you.

I'm so ‐‐ thank you so much for
inviting me on Thursday.

I can't wait to be at the
dvf awards again.

>> Thank you.
Thank you.

>> That's Diane Von furstenberg,

everybody.
The dvf awards are this Thursday

at the Brooklyn museum.
We'll be right back with more

"late night."

Welcome back.

We here at "late night" have a
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My thanks to
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Stay tuned for Carson daly.
We'll see you tomorrow,

everybody.