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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:13,113 (Frank) 'Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden. 2 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,509 'At least I don't think they are. 3 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,878 'But it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,155 'and me kids, who I'm proud of, 5 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:26,358 'cos every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 6 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:32,318 'They can all think for themselves, which they've me to thank for. 7 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,433 'Fiona, who's a big help, a massive help. 8 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:41,435 'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why nobody calls him Phillip any more. 9 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:46,116 'lan, a lot like his mam, which is handy for the others, cos she's disappeared, 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,633 'and good luck to her. 11 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:50,837 'And Carl. We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons - 12 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,515 'one, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah, two, nits love him. 13 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:58,752 'Debbie. Sent by God. Total angel. 14 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,118 'You have to check your change but she'll always do you a favour. 15 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,431 'Plus Liam! Little rock'n'roller! 16 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,672 'Gonna be a star... once we've got the fits under control. 17 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:15,072 'Three things, see, are vital to a half-decent community. 18 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:20,439 'Space. You need wide-open spaces where everyone goes mental. 19 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:24,911 'And neighbourliness. Fantastic neighbours. 20 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,035 (Fireworks whizz) 21 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,999 'Kev and Veronica. Lend you anything. Well, not anything. 22 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,039 'But all of them, to a man, know first and foremost 23 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,430 'one of the most vital necessities in this life 24 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,149 'is they know how to throw a party.' 25 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,356 (Sirens) 26 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:51,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 27 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,469 Hiya. I said I'd help your Karen with her homework. 28 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,439 OK. Take your shoes off. 29 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,478 - Fair enough. - I'll get you a carrier bag. 30 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,950 She's got this thing about people bringing soil into the house. 31 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,838 - Right. - She's not as mad as she seems. 32 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,390 - Agoraphobia. - Oh, right. 33 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,677 - So how come you know all this? - It's just something I do. 34 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,876 - What, like a hobby? - No. 35 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,757 - The plans. - What, physics? 36 00:02:55,840 --> 00:03:01,153 All sorts. Look. I've got a great 'un for Newton's First. Watch. 37 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:09,352 Every body continues in a state of rest or uniform motion 38 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,193 unless acted upon by an external... 39 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,589 - (Zip unzips) - ..force. 40 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,156 - Karen! - Hello. 41 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,310 Don't do... Look, Karen! 42 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,436 To be honest, I could do with the money. 43 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,751 - What money? - I charge for homework. 44 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,070 I'm skint. 45 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,872 OK. 46 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,238 (Whispers) Fuck! 47 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,310 - Have you got any deodorant? - Erm... 48 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,470 I'm using lan's. 49 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:54,031 If I stick this lot in the washer before I go out, will you keep an eye on it? 50 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,839 - Do it tomorrow. - God, it stinks in here. 51 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,912 - It's the T-shirt I'm in. - That's why it stinks. 52 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,468 - You three are like chimps. - (Veronica) Fiona! 53 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,471 We need to go if we're gonna get a lift. 54 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,472 (Fiona) Give us five minutes, Veronica. 55 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,917 (Door slams) 56 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:40,994 Hiya. 57 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,912 (Techno music) 58 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,636 Oi! 59 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,119 Excuse me! 60 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,033 - He's got me bag! - Excuse me. 61 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,873 - Move! - Oi! He's got me bag! 62 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,839 Move, move, move! 63 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,835 Bastard! 64 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,472 (Tyres squeal) 65 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,312 Look, I'm sorry. 66 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,154 I know you missed but that were top fucking notch. 67 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,232 Steve. I was gonna offer to buy you a drink anyway. 68 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,999 - Were you now? - Yeah, I was, actually. 69 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,470 - What do you reckon, Veronica? - I don't know. Do I get one? 70 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,915 Yeah, I think you will. 71 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,879 - Snake bites all round, yeah? - Maybe. 72 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,157 No, no, no. You're not getting back in like that. 73 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,151 - What? - Look at the state of him. 74 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,550 State of you. If you were doing your job, he wouldn't have had to. 75 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,518 - You fat twat. - You're barred. 76 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,670 - What for? - Er...drugs. 77 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,796 - He let them get away. - Watch your mouth, spunk face. 78 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,314 - Don't talk to her like that. - Or what? 79 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,470 Forget it. Let's get a taxi. 80 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,072 - Thanks. - Thanks anyway. 81 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,552 (Both scream) 82 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,955 - Come on! - You fat wanker! 83 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,034 (Lip) I got a blowjob today. 84 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,794 What have you been told about encouraging pets? 85 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,635 - Karen Jackson. - Yeah, right, Lip. 86 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,156 She's desperate to get physics. I didn't ask. 87 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,834 I didn't even know until she yanked it out. 88 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,909 You'd have told me straightaway if you would have been noshed. 89 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,719 You ever had yours sucked? 90 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,633 Well...once or twice. 91 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,676 Didn't hear you telling me. 92 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:24,311 How come, lan? A breakthrough like that, if we tell each other everything... 93 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,710 Unless you got it sucked by a bloke. 94 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,996 (Sobs) 95 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,629 What was it he called you? A spunky monkey or something. 96 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,918 It wasn't me he called spunk face. It was her. I'm more of a juice face. 97 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,753 - Not in front of the kids, mate. - They've heard worse. 98 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:06,356 - I get it off them. - (Steve) Here's the spunky monkey. 99 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:11,673 I nearly wet meself when you whacked that guy. Well, I did a bit. 100 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,194 He'll kill you if ever he sees you, Steve. 101 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,157 Yeah? 102 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,677 - How many people live here? - I'm next door but one. 103 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,991 But next door's dead so I'm, erm...next door. 104 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,753 - Yeah? Are you a nurse, Veronica? - Er...part time. 105 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,195 - (Fiona) You lying cow. - She's a cleaner. 106 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,590 (Veronica) They asked me to train twice, at least. 107 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,558 (Fiona) Just before they sacked you for thieving. 108 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,598 If you're using stolen goods, I'm on the blower. 109 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,069 Will you shut up! You don't even know him! 110 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,037 Sit still. 111 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,112 I would do if you stopped nudging me with your knockers. 112 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,469 - Argh, Jesus! - Sit still! 113 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,790 I'm Steve, by the way. 114 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,189 Debbie. 115 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,952 - Lip. - Carl. 116 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,474 - And that's lan. - Hi, lan. 117 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,596 Hey, Debbie, why do they call him Lip? 118 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,433 A- you stink, B- you're not as funny as you think, 119 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,512 C- you whacked a bouncer so you'll be dead soon. 120 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,797 - (Debbie) Stuff like that. - Yeah, boy meets death wish. 121 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,678 We-hey! I thought you were fetching an Indian home. 122 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,115 I couldn't be arsed so I found a tax payer. 123 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,031 - What's going on? - We got turfed out. 124 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,351 Steve stuck up for us. Decked a bouncer. 125 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,796 - Which bouncer? - Jimmy Clifton. 126 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,233 Fuck me. 127 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,276 (Fiona) Come on, you lot. Off to bed. 128 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,714 - Bed. - (Steve) Night, kids. See you later. 129 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,950 - Bye! - See you, love. 130 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,916 - That's his? - Yeah. Well, work's. 131 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,709 - What kind of work? - Car sales. 132 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,758 - Where? - I don't know. Didn't ask. 133 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,671 I'm not as nosy as you. 134 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,991 Oh, right. But you didn't mind watching him take his shirt off. 135 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,914 No. And if you hadn't walked in I'd have tripped him up and dived under. 136 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,956 Phwoargh! (Giggles) 137 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,475 Right, straight answer. 138 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:32,712 If I hadn't busted my skull for you, would you have looked twice? 139 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,439 Who's saying I looked twice? 140 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,310 You did then. 141 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,596 I can't. 142 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,875 99% of this world's problems are caused by little words that come in pairs. 143 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,312 We're healthy and we're happy 144 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,916 and yet when anybody asks us, we say, "Not bad." 145 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:17,278 When I saw you for the first time, dancing, about a month ago, by the way, 146 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:20,193 I was desperate to buy you a drink. 147 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:27,118 But you know what I said to myself? "I can't. She won't. We wouldn't." 148 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:33,271 And then you're there again tonight and me getting a second chance 149 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,396 to make a good impression. 150 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,029 So you say stop and I'll stop. 151 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,716 Slower. 152 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,797 Oh, yeah! Nearly! Nearly! 153 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,315 - (Knocking) - Shit! 154 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,118 Shit! 155 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,150 - Fiona in? - Yeah. Er...yeah, she's upstairs. 156 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,590 I'll just go get her. 157 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,838 - Police. - I know. I'll sort it. 158 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,837 (Shouting) Go away! 159 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,798 (Girl) Come here, Liam. Back to bed. 160 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:42,279 I wouldn't put him anywhere near a carpet until his kecks dry off a bit. 161 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,718 (Steve) What the fuck's that? (Fiona) It's me dad. 162 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,035 Thanks, Tony. I appreciate it. 163 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,556 Cheers, Fiona. Night. 164 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,071 - Hey, do you want a hand? - No, you're all right. 165 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:28,192 Do you, erm... do you leave him there all night? 166 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,999 He's never there when I get up. 167 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,955 Who's the little 'un? Liam? 168 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,156 Brother. 169 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,199 (Knock at door, washing machine spinning) 170 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,430 (Steve) Hiya. 171 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,308 Listen, erm... I'm wondering how you're fixed for Friday. 172 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,555 - Party. - Great. 173 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,313 - You wouldn't get invited. - Is it a hen do? 174 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,789 It's just not that kind of party. 175 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,872 Look, Steve, you're not that desperate. 176 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,669 - Wanting to see you again is desperate? - Feeling like you have to. 177 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,549 You could get laid anywhere. 178 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,632 So I'm only here for a fuck? 179 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,711 Never crossed your mind? 180 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,429 This is all a bit Hans Christian Andersen. 181 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,029 You see, you think you find your dream girl, 182 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,793 then her incontinent alcoholic father wrecks it. 183 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:57,270 - Don't take the piss. - Don't pretend you don't even know me. 184 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,430 You weren't that drunk. 185 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,477 If the only reason last night happened was because it happened, 186 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,755 don't knock it, all right? 187 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,910 At least something did. 188 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,909 It did for me. 189 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,798 - Hey, it's the smart arse. - Hey, it's the loser. 190 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,838 - No school today? - Two teeth out this morning. 191 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,434 If you're chewing, don't just do it on one side. 192 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,035 That can bugger your jaw and that'll change the way you walk. 193 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,350 - Is that a fact? - It's a skeletal fact. 194 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:32,592 If you talk out of your arse, you'll need a bigger toothbrush. Anal fact. 195 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,636 Cheers. 196 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,317 Lip. 197 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,474 (Machine restarts) 198 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,789 Look... 199 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,995 Thanks about the bag. 200 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:57,750 - And stuff. - (Steve laughs) 201 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,833 - Stuff? - I'm just not looking, Steve. 202 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,435 I'm not having this. 203 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,798 Look, just once, for me, then I swear I'll shut up about everything. 204 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,872 Swear though, Lip, then. 205 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,394 Just try it. You might like it. 206 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,357 Oh, she's thrilled with you. 207 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,874 She got an A for her physics. 208 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,758 Karen, it's your little helper! 209 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,798 I'll get you carrier bags. 210 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,318 (Man) Right, I'm off. 211 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,359 Oh, hiya, lads. Where's our Karen? 212 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,194 Out looking for a felt tip. 213 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,039 Guess. 214 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:03,395 - Tuna. - Nope. 215 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,630 - Corned beef. - Nope. 216 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,915 Kiss and I'll tell. 217 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,878 I'll find out what I've got when I eat 'em, won't I? 218 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,999 Right, Karen, I'm late so I'm off. See you in the morning, sweetheart. 219 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,517 What are you hiding for? 220 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,789 What's she hiding for? 221 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,591 Oh, Jesus Christ, no. 222 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,671 No! 223 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,591 (Screaming) 224 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,436 - What? - He's gonna kill him! 225 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,076 - He's gonna kill him! - Who? 226 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,435 - (Crash and thud) - He's killed him. 227 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,394 Come back here, you little animals! 228 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,715 Round to ours. Top of the freezer. Two ice collars. 229 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,995 - Don't drop 'em. They can split. - Right. 230 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,992 Second cupboard above the sink - liquid ibuprofen. 231 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,548 freeze spray and microthermal bandages. 232 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,915 - Shouldn't he get it X-rayed? - Grow up. 233 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,356 He'll be there till midnight. "Submetatarsal haematoma." 234 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,432 "Yeah, cheers, we knew that five hours back." Fuck off. 235 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,877 Microthermal bandages sizes eight and ten. Could need either so bring both. 236 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,713 - Right. - And front bedroom, top of the video... 237 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,360 - Yeah? - ..fags and lighter. 238 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,351 - (Knocking) - I'm not here! 239 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,351 Argh! 240 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,954 Just say we're out or you've never heard of us. 241 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,156 What have you done? 242 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,831 Get back up the stairs. 243 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,709 Can I get through here? 244 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,836 - Hey? - Washer-dryer. 245 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,717 Not me. 246 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:27,235 - Gallagher, number 2? - Yeah. But it's not ours. 247 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,549 Where the fuck are you going with them? 248 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,792 - Veronica wants them. - Chuck us one over here. 249 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,114 (Radio alarm) 250 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,679 (Makes trumpet sound) 251 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,396 Right. 252 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,589 - I thought you'd no money. - We haven't. 253 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,716 These were inside it. 254 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,956 "Steve." 255 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,758 - No! - Yeah. 256 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,354 - Who's Steve? - Other night. 257 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,396 - Never! - I know! 258 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:49,076 - You haven't got a vase. - No. 259 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,958 - Can I have them for doing Lip's leg? - No. 260 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:55,669 Just button it and follow me, will you? 261 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,433 - I am! Fucking hell. - Stop pulling it back. 262 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,115 - I'm not pulling it back! - I'm taking the strain on it, aren't I? 263 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:06,079 (Debbie) Lip! Watch how many I can do. Look. Look! 264 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,711 15 years, I've done everything in my power to... What did I tell you? 265 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,918 Sow and thou shalt reap. Well, she didn't reap that from me, did she? 266 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,276 Reap what? What are you reaping now? 267 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,789 Eddie, what if I try? Really try? 268 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,110 Mum, don't beg him! 269 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,509 If the bastard can do this, he's not worth it. 270 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,909 - You watch your mouth. - Get fucked! 271 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,355 Don't try blaming me for this! 272 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,273 You're your own worst enemies, you two. 273 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:41,273 They say bad things come in threes. They don't. Twos. You twos. 274 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:44,079 Now let me in or I'll tear this door off. 275 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,151 (Karen) Sod off! 276 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,915 (Mobile phone) 277 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,195 (Fiona) 'How much have you paid for it?' 278 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,078 Erm...l'm not gonna tell you that. 279 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,516 'lt was a present so you'd remember my phone number.' 280 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,239 Which obviously worked. 281 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:12,074 Your washer-dryer's in the back yard. We don't want it, I don't need it. 282 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,152 - So pick it up before it rots. - 'ls it?' 283 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,710 - Well, no. - Did the guy connect it? 284 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,597 Yes. 285 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,149 - 'So it's working?' - Yes. 286 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,191 So you've tried it. 287 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,510 - Smell your breath. - Fuck off. 288 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,436 - Pork scratchings. - No, it's not. 289 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,356 They were mine. 290 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,716 See? I wouldn't mind but scratchings aren't scratchings 291 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,916 and they've never seen no pork. 292 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,116 lan, I pay your wages. 293 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:04,079 If you catch him letting me down, you'd better be straight on the mobile. 294 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,037 Message received. 295 00:25:06,120 --> 00:25:08,588 If you're not at that mosque by midnight, 296 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,875 you'll be in deep shit with your dad. 297 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,397 - See you later, light of my life. - I mean it. We're all watching you. 298 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,516 See you at home. 299 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,437 Can you earn your money while you're taking the piss? 300 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,199 Now you know what I feel like. 301 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,109 Quit whingeing. 302 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,069 Drink more. 303 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,674 (Laughs) 304 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,313 Mum, we've got to wear our shoes. There's bits of glass you can't see. 305 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:29,999 - (Lip) Cheers. - Maybe Lip could do with a drink. 306 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,508 Yes, sorry, Lip. It's been a bit of an off day today, hasn't it, Karen? 307 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,558 So. Vodka, some tonic. 308 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,154 Plenty of rum but we're out of blackcurrant. 309 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,276 - And gin. - Just coffee, Mum. 310 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:47,830 - (Tearfully) And a few lagers. - Lager would be great. Cheers. 311 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,231 - What if your dad comes back? - He won't. 312 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,515 - That's my fault. - He's been looking for an excuse. 313 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,790 Thanks. 314 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:17,074 So, erm...what kind of impression did you get of lan? 315 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,435 He seems nice. 316 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,557 - Hard? - Couldn't tell. He didn't say much. 317 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,551 No, I mean... 318 00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:29,875 - Did he get a hard-on? - No. 319 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,036 (Panting and moaning) 320 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,276 (Man) Shh! Shh! Shh! 321 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,872 Count the crisps again, lan, and this time do it proper. 322 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,350 And I'll do the peanuts, all right? Jeez! Lip. 323 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:13,069 Just, er... Cheers for the tools, Kash. 324 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,720 Any time, eh? So long as I get 'em back. 325 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,917 - So orange juice. Let's count... - Two bottles. 326 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,389 (Lip) Jesus Christ. 327 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,948 Tell me you are taking the piss. 328 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,759 You're fucking him? 329 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,910 Him?! 330 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,788 (Lip) Kash bought you the trainers, didn't he? 331 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,473 He's married. With kids. 332 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,354 - What else does he buy you? - Just stuff now and again. 333 00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,908 And you're happy with that? 334 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,711 Eh? 335 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,749 What does that make you? 336 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,717 A fucking rent boy at best. 337 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,349 Listen to me, bollock brains. You crack on you know everything. 338 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:16,479 And you know what? Ask me what I've bought him. Go on. Ask me. 339 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,791 Two Man United shirts, home and away, 340 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,872 limited edition Beckham shin pads for Christmas. 341 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,236 So what does that make you, Lip, eh? What does that make you? 342 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:30,029 Wrong, that's what, you smart arse, short arse fuck. 343 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:34,193 So go round there now and promise Kash you'll keep your mouth shut. 344 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:37,875 Cos he's shitting himself and he's done nothing - understand? - 345 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,235 absolutely fuck all to be sorry for. 346 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,312 Fake Muslim cheats on white fundamentalist wife 347 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,311 with gutless gay boy. 348 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,715 Says more about United fans than it does about the rest of us. 349 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,473 (Music drowns out conversation) 350 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:48,075 - Tell me you haven't got a girl pregnant. - No danger. 351 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,118 Not if that's all you end up being to your kids. 352 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:58,471 - Did he give you your dinner money? - No, I'll pay it myself. 353 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,551 No, you won't. 354 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,711 There you go. 355 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,991 You must be sick of having to think for everybody. 356 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,472 At least I can, so it makes me feel wanted. 357 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,553 If the best you're aiming for is wanting to be wanted, 358 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,315 you've a job for life with that clown, Fiona. 359 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,311 Night. 360 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,352 (Mobile phone) 361 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,996 (Mobile phone continuing) 362 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:21,794 - Hello. - What was I wearing? 363 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,952 - 'Wearing?' - The first time you saw me. 364 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,670 'You were wearing a pink top and black trousers. 365 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,396 'Cropped black trousers. 366 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:39,235 'And you had dangling earrings. Just one earring. 367 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,595 'lt was a long, thin dazzler. 368 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:47,596 'And you had your hair up in these little clips. These rosy clip things. 369 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,468 'And you were dancing next to a red-haired girl in a green dress.' 370 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,950 Gemma. Who's a lot better looking than I am. 371 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,873 - 'You reckon?' - So why weren't you looking at her? 372 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,757 Because you think like that and Gemma doesn't. 373 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,118 Gemma's dancing for an audience and you're dancing like there's nobody there. 374 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,079 Your life's not straightforward and a bit of that travels with you 375 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,674 but you don't stop it showing. 376 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,513 'You're not fake. You're not vain. 377 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,875 'You're not lost so you don't need finding. 378 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,713 'You're not trapped so you don't need springing. 379 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,752 'This town belongs to the fucking Gemmas of this world 380 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,196 'and I'm sick of the fucking sight of them.' 381 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:35,592 'I swear to God, Fiona, you're just... You make me want to enjoy my life.' 382 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,749 I've lost mates because I talk too much. 383 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:44,550 But every time I try the opposite I get accused of sulking so... 384 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:47,632 Are you still there? Hello? Hello? 385 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:49,870 Hello? 386 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,712 (Steve) I knew you'd come. 387 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,553 People like you are used to getting your own way. 388 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,790 Who are people like me? 389 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,479 All right, agree or disagree. 390 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:26,833 - He thinks the sun shines out his arse. - Agree. 391 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:30,071 - He's overgenerous and that bugs me. - Agree. 392 00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,436 Because I'm not used to being spoiled. 393 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,351 Agree. 394 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:40,512 Nevertheless, he's overeducated and he's got more money than sense. 395 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,273 - Your words, not mine. - But they fit. 396 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,109 Agree. 397 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,272 - He's had an easy life. - Definitely. 398 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,828 And I prefer a bloke who's been around a bit. 399 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,512 Maybe. 400 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:56,070 - I can't help my upbringing. - I'm not apologising for mine. 401 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,674 Was I asking you to? 402 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,320 - (Waitress) Finished? - No. 403 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,079 No, we're working on it. 404 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,878 Please. 405 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,838 Do you want to wait outside while I take care of the bill? 406 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,195 You can smoke there. 407 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,594 Sure. 408 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,311 Can I borrow your lighter? 409 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,519 - Time to get your jacket, sir? - Mm. 410 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,632 Yeah, it is. 411 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,513 (Classical music) 412 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,999 Mr and Mrs Pace. You all right? 413 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,038 How are you? Lovely to have you back again. 414 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:53,872 - Enjoy your meal. - Thank you. 415 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:09,316 (Mobile phone) 416 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,316 Hello. 417 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,278 (Steve) 'You seem a bit confused about how I pay my way. 418 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:29,717 'Well, you're the last person in the world I need to confuse so here we go. 419 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:34,237 'I don't buy and sell cars, I just sell them. 420 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,551 'But they're not mine. 421 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,870 'Satisfied?' 422 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,276 No. 423 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:47,751 They're really nice. They're really old. They'll be dead soon. 424 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:51,594 Look, he has beef, gets blind drunk and swears a lot. 425 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,755 'She can't drive so he tears home pissed.' 426 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:59,719 I'll be doing everybody a favour by just taking them off the road. 427 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,792 'Come on. Do you fancy a laugh or not, Fiona?' 428 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,036 This car's mine. 429 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,433 Sounds like they're all in bed. 430 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,678 Gotcha. 431 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,519 Who's been eating my porridge, then? 432 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,391 Hiya, Dad. 433 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,436 - This is Steve. - We've met but you... 434 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,671 - How much do you weigh? - Wouldn't know. 435 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,752 - That'd fit me. - Ignore him. 436 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,196 Shift! 437 00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:15,277 Listen, I better get off and let you get to bed, all right? 438 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,510 Thanks. 439 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,830 That was really nice. 440 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,036 You too. 441 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,637 What I want to know... 442 00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:48,430 Who...signed...for this? 443 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,274 - What the fuck's he on? - I think he bought Es. 444 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,875 The only dealer he gets credit from is a registered schizophrenic. 445 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:15,158 It's not a case of whether I agree, Steve. It's a fact. 446 00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:17,993 - If I was a single parent... - Aren't you? 447 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,150 Yeah, but if I had tits. 448 00:39:20,240 --> 00:39:24,472 Yeah, but if I had tits, Steve, they'd double the money. 449 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,519 - With a bloke they don't fucking know. - I get it, Frank, I get it. 450 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,797 - It's "Prove you're looking for work." - And the rest. 451 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,589 What was World War II about if blokes like me are still getting shit? 452 00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,956 Not "How's a guy supposed to find work with kids this age?" 453 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,110 Correct. Hello! 454 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,480 Oh! Good show. Well done. 455 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:49,439 - Cos her mum, God rest her soul... - Dad, don't start. 456 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,795 Cos she'd better be dead, the cunt. 457 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,759 - Cut it out! - A four-month-old baby, Steve. 458 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,229 A 16-year-old girl, just had her appendix out. 459 00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:02,916 11-year-old Lip, 10-year-old lan, 7-year-old, 5-year-old. 460 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,231 Oh, and an Escort van, calypso blue. 461 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:09,635 What's the one thing we needed? 462 00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:12,188 One word. One thing. 463 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,636 - Sterilisation. - Continuity. 464 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,278 Continuity. 465 00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,989 One Tuesday, right, we're out of bread, so I send her down the shops. 466 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:22,877 She grabs the van keys. 467 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:29,999 I haven't seen it since. And we haven't a fucking clue where she is, have we? 468 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:33,470 Eh? We... Oh, I fucking love this. 469 00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:36,791 (Turns up the music volume) 470 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:41,071 So what could I do, Steve? What could I do? 471 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,435 Vanish for three weeks. 472 00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:46,910 - I had a breakdown. - (Fiona) You went on a bender. 473 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,150 I had a nervous breakdown. 474 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,037 Fair enough. 475 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,395 - (Knocking) - Dad. 476 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,118 Keys. 477 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,116 - Do you know what time it is? - It's Frank. 478 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,316 - What have I told you? - Oi! 479 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:22,030 (Frank) Eh! Here we go. Neighbours of Satan. 480 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,510 The day you pay rent, like some of us, Frank, 481 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:27,795 you can play whatever shit you want. 482 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:31,429 But till then, if you're pumpin' it at this time of night, 483 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,592 you play stuff that we like. 484 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,037 All right? 485 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,270 - Do you get it? - I get it. 486 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:49,191 Go on, get that down you. 487 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,914 (Loud music and raucous laughter) 488 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,595 He made me follow you up. 489 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:24,557 I know. 490 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,868 But he's right. You can't drive now. 491 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,592 But... 492 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,838 Liam is in here somewhere. 493 00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,035 Don't the kids wake up? 494 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,950 Would you? 495 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:04,676 (Car alarm) 496 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,715 (Fiona) lan, come and have your breakfast. 497 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,037 - Have you seen lan? - He'd gone before I woke up. 498 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,156 His school uniform's not here neither. 499 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:33,750 - Good morning. - Good morning. 500 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:38,671 Give me this. 501 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,954 Tell me if you're not a morning person. 502 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,111 It's not something I've had much experience of. 503 00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,594 First time for everything. 504 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,430 How can that be good for you? 505 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,951 - Or that. - Do you know what's not funny? 506 00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:37,634 You. Ever. 507 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,590 Anybody before Kash? 508 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,115 - One. - Who? 509 00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,997 I'm not telling you. 510 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:04,039 And actually...up the arse? 511 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,554 Cos... Look, I'm not taking the piss. 512 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:11,156 I've come through a toilet roll. And that's just one finger. Barely up the ring. 513 00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:13,629 Screamed the house down! 514 00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:16,029 Do you get used to that? Can you? 515 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:21,034 The whole point of the digestive system is about one-way traffic. 516 00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,116 It just is. 517 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,475 What? 518 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,949 - What? - You! 519 00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,312 "It just is." 520 00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,997 Like we're only given lungs so we can fucking smoke. 521 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,233 (Singing oom-pah song) 522 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:58,916 - Sit yourselves down. Who's for bacon? - All right. 523 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:02,148 (Boy) Yummy! 524 00:46:02,240 --> 00:46:04,549 - What's all this? - Well, er... 525 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:07,313 Debbie's the only person that gets up earlier than me 526 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,437 so we shot off down to Apu's on the corner. 527 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:14,832 She said breakfast is her favourite meal of the day and since it's her birthday... 528 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,878 (Gasps) No, it's not! 529 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,997 I didn't say it was, it said I wished it was. 530 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,470 All right. Sorry, completely misheard that, Debs. 531 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,075 Perforated eardrum on the right. M'lady. 532 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:31,469 - Anyone else want a drink? - Who's for bacon? 533 00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,439 You got 15 minutes tops. lan, Lip, your turn to wash up. 534 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,830 Debbie, Carl, you need to put them bins out. 535 00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:43,311 (Frank) 'Somebody said, "Show me a child before he's seven 536 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,550 "'and I'll show you the man." 537 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,712 'My problem with kids is they're only seven once. 538 00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:52,031 'After that it's a fucking nightmare. Massive! 539 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:57,433 'One thing I'll say about my lot, though, they've been raised to show respect. 540 00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:01,399 'And I like that. It matters in our house.' 541 00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,111 Has anyone seen Dad since last night? 542 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:17,317 (Frank) 'Six kids to keep on top of.' 543 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,478 You can't file Frank as missing. He's always missing. 544 00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:23,834 Ooh, that is tight. 545 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,355 Sorry. Was my dad in the pub this afternoon? 546 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,271 Yeah, he were there. Slaughtered. 547 00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,430 How was he looking when you left him? 548 00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,750 He can't be far. He's never far. 549 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:39,072 Police? I've just found a body exactly fitting Frank's description. 550 00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,469 (Screaming) 551 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,555 You might be getting... 552 00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:25,189 but you've got a long way to go before you can catch up with... 553 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:43,279 For fuck's sake! 554 00:48:44,305 --> 00:48:50,290 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 42599

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