All language subtitles for Crazy.Ex-Girlfriend.S04E10.HDTV.x264-BATV

Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

- Wait, whose baby is that?
- It's my baby.

The one you helped me make.

I was just walking by with Hebby,

and I thought maybe Rebecca
might want to see her,

since she's never acknowledged

her genetic offspring.

So, do you have to, like, study

- everywhere we go?
- I have a final.

I'm gonna be a lawyer.

- A lawyer, Scott.
- Well, you have worked so hard.

You're almost there, babe.

Why is he here?

She gets like this.

You ruin a shot again,
and I will put you in ICU.

Bitch, don't get in my way, bitch.

I got to go see my dad. He's sober now.

Going to meetings, just like me.

There's something I got to tell you.

I had sex with your dad.

I can't believe that
happened. Why did you do that?

What are you guys doing here?

I wanted to talk to you.

About what? Guys! Guys!

All of your exes showed up

on your doorstep?

Are they still into you?

I don't know. Mm.

I'm so confused.

♪ Meet Rebecca ♪

♪ She's the coolest
girl in the world, wait ♪

♪ Wrong Rebecca ♪

♪ It's this one over here ♪

♪ She's spunky, she's
sweet, a generous friend ♪

♪ Oh, but there she
looks kind of mean ♪

Hmm. ♪ Okay, she's snarky ♪

♪ Sarcastic and a... What? ♪

♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪

♪ Meet Rebecca ♪

♪ She's too hard to summarize ♪

♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪

I've never felt loved.

Subtitle sync and corrections by
ChrisKe for www.addic7ed.com.

Welcome to Rebetzel's.
Please try a sample.

Yeah. Take it.

Sample?

Yeah. It's terrible. Just...

Take one, AJ.

No.

No. What is this disgusting flavor?

- I call it the Hot Mess.
- What?

This epitomizes how I feel right now,

which is confusion

over no matter how
hard I try in my life,

it always ends up a steaming hot mess.

- Right.
- Yeah.

Oh, I love a sample.

Food claw coming on in.

Oh, that is... that is terrible.

Ugh. Exactly. It's
supposed to taste bad.

It's bad, like my life.

Why? Is everything okay?

Did you hear about what happened
on my porch the other night?

Oh, you mean when Nathaniel
and Greg came over to your house

and there was also the other guy there

and then Josh came flying
out in those man panties

and he had that tennis racket?

Mm-mm, I hadn't heard.

So everyone knows.

Great. Wonderful.

Darryl, I'm so confused.

I mean, Nathaniel and Greg clearly had

something super important
they wanted to tell me,

but I never found out what it was.

And I keep texting both of them,

and it's radio silence.

What were they doing there?

Ooh. Oh.

Hebecca's waking up from
her little nappy nap.

- Who?
- Oh, my God. You're not serious.

Oh! Hebecca. That's
the name of your baby.

Your baby. That's your
baby. Right, right, right.

Okay, okay, what is the deal?

Why do you always space on
the fact that I have a baby,

one that you gave me an egg for,

one whose name rhymes with yours?

I mean, it's kind of like
you got a thing about her.

I don't have a thing about
her. You have a thing about her.

Yeah. You're weird around her.

It's like you can
barely even look at her,

because she reminds you of a
very traumatic time in your life

where you made some rash decisions

and contributed to the
existence of another person

and maybe didn't fully think it through.

What?

I-I don't look at her like that at all.

Okay. Well, I don't
know how you look at her,

because I'm just not a baby person.

Everyone is a baby person.

All you need to do is sniff her head.

I'm telling you, baby
sniffs are my CBD oil.

I go to a store, they
don't have my favorite feta?

Sniff the head. Bad day at
the office? Sniff the head.

Brother has cancer? Sniff that head.

Um, your brother has cancer?

Not anymore.

Hmm.

She is kind of cute.

Cute? She's the most
wonderful baby in the world.

And I'd love for you to
spend more time with her.

Maybe you could even

babysit someday.

Uh...

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe. Maybe someday.

How's about Saturday at 6:45?

Sorry, what?

I really need someone.

My mom group set me up on a date.

And my nanny, Evelyn, she's busy.

I-I don't know about
babysitting. I've just...

I-I don't have much experience
with, like, a crying baby.

Oh, she doesn't cry at all.

It's actually weird
how little Hebby cries.

Right?

Oh, come on.

It isn't that hard to
take care of a baby.

Lots of people do it just fine.

Snooki has a baby.

She has two babies.

And look at what a great job she's doing

with Lorenzo and Giovanna.

Okay.

I'll do it. Okay.

Yay!

Hooray!

Yay, Auntie Rebecca.

Yay! Look!

She loves you!

I see it.

♪ ♪

Whew! Good job, Tony.

You woke up in that skate
park with a belly full

of Oxy and booze, but you
bounced back and you're here.

Who else wants to share?

I'm on my seventh cup of
coffee, and I can't stop talking

unless somebody else gets up.

- I'll go.
- I'll go.

Uh...

I came here today because, uh,

I-I did a terrible thing to my son.

Oh, no, Dad, what are you doing?

I want to repair our relationship.

What I did to you, sleeping
with your ex-girlfriend,

that was... that was...

It was unforgivable.

It was my rock bottom,
and I'm-I'm ashamed.

Oh, my God. We already
talked about this privately.

You also talked about this publicly,

because we talked about this
last week at our meeting.

Yeah, but I really want
him to know how sorry I am.

I-I-I can't
say it enough.

I know you're sorry.

And so does everyone here

and everyone from last
week who isn't here.

So,

please, just...

You don't have to
apologize anymore, okay?

Another cup of coffee?

I could hear your large
intestine screaming.

Let me have this.

I don't have meth anymore.

Hey, are you actually
dealing with what happened

with your feelings with
the daddy-girlfriend sex?

Oh, wow, that is an awful term.

I mean, have you even talked
to Rebecca since she told you?

You showed up on that
patio with something to say,

and you didn't even say it.

Greg, if you got

something to say to Rebecca,

you got to say it.

And have a truly happy day.

Thank you.

Hi, babe.

Hi, Mama Cookie.

Here is your invite

to a game night on Saturday.

A game night?

Oh, shoot. I just told Darryl

that I'd babysit Hebecca on Saturday.

Whoa, really?

Oh, that's great!

I mean, it was a bit unsettling,

the way you kept forgetting that
your genetic daughter existed.

Yeah, but, you know
what, no, I can cancel,

because you never have parties.

I mean, God, for your
birthday, we just went

grocery shopping and ate
premade sushi in the parking lot.

Okay, first of all,

this is not an actual party.
It's a game night.

Second, that is how I wanted
to celebrate my birthday...

With you and some
room-temp California rolls.

It was perfect.

No one stared at me

and no one sang "Happy Birthday,"

so it was a big win.

Okay, seriously, Paula,

I can just cancel on Darryl. It's fine.

No! No way.

You're bonding with Hebecca.
That's huge. Do that.

I do need an even number, though.

Who else can I ask at the last minute?

I mean, Darryl's got a date, obviously.

And Sunil has another
widowers' camping retreat.

Those are definitely orgies.

And, uh... oh, Mrs. H
is the worst at games.

Have you seen her play charades?

She just waves her arms around.

So, you know, unless her clue is

"used car lot balloon guy,"

it's just... it's a disaster.

- You know who loves games?
- Who?

Your new best friend Josh Chan.

Huh.

Oh, since our trip to San Bernardino,

- I like that guy.
- Mm.

Plus, I need a couch moved,

and the water cooler's
been empty for weeks.

Good call.

All right, well, good
luck babysitting, Mama.

You're gonna be great.

Oh, uh, hey, after you.

No, no, after you, Mr. Man Panties.

Excuse me?

Yeah, no. That ridiculous underwear

you were wearing on the
patio the other night.

The panties.

I was in my own house,

- and they are not panties.
- Oh.

They are very expensive
Fett by Fett Regoso

high-performance,
moisture-wicking briefs,

cut high for gluteal mobility.

- Mm.
- Yeah.

I post a picture of
myself in them every day

to attract the attention
of Fett Regoso Inc.,

who are looking for
online brand spokesmen.

Wow.

Wow with you. Wow.

Okay, trust me, I don't like
you any more than you like me.

So, wow yourself.

You know what, Josh,

I actually don't dislike you.

We are just wildly different people.

You are on a different planet.

We have absolutely nothing in common.

What, you don't wear underwear?

Dude, that's really dangerous.

Like, what about zippers?

- Oh, cool.
- What?

Did a bot like one of
your panty pictures?

No. I got invited to a
party at Paula's house.

No.

I'm going to that party, too.

Great. Fun.

All right, look, since
we're both going to the party

and especially since Rebecca
will probably be there,

why don't we just agree to give
each other a wide berth, hmm?

- Fine. Done.
- Deal.

"Berth."

♪ ♪

Okay, so, basically,

you got the easiest type of babysitting:

sleep-time babysitting.

She's been fed and changed

and she's asleep in her crib.

Great. Great. This is gonna be easy.

I'm not worried.

Also, just in case,

I printed out an
article from Quimblepop.

"37 Things that Calm a Baby."

Oh, you're not gonna need
that. She will not wake up.

- Never does.
- It'll be fine.

Listen, just-just get out
of here. I got this.

Thanks. I'm excited about it.

She's a pharmacist.

You know what they say...

Oh, I don't know what they say.

Oh. I was hoping you did.

I don't know what to
talk about with her.

All right. Well,

- wish me luck.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Ah.

Okay. You're a baby.

Yes! 90210 marathon.

Just what I needed...
A break from the drama.

Except for the drama in Beverly Hills,

which I am all about.

What?

_

Uh...

_

- _
- Oh, my God.

- Uh...
- _

_

Oh, my God.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

Baby, baby, shh, shh.

Quiet sounds, no sounds.

No. Please, baby.
Please, please, please.

A boy is coming over. Please?

Okay.

Okay.

Hi. You had something you wanted to say?

Oh. This is gonna be a great game night.

Well, except Rebecca's
not gonna be here.

I bet if you told her

this game night was your law
school graduation party...

Uh-uh-uh-uh, shh, Scott,
we're not talking about that.

Okay, and don't say that to anyone.

I don't want to hear the
word "graduation" from you.

I don't understand why
you're being like this.

Why didn't you invite
everyone to the ceremony?

It was just me and Tommy,
so we lost the unspoken

but very real cheering
section competition.

- Aw.
- We stood no chance against the family

with the air horns
and the confetti guns.

You have to tell people
what the party's for.

I don't want attention,
I don't want fuss.

I just want a fun game night.

Thanks, everyone, for coming.

So happy you could all make it.

You're all a part of my
life in different ways.

Husband, boss,

girl group, partner, girl group, spouse,

and... Josh.

So exciting

to see your living room, Paula,
I never been in here before.

Where's Bunch?

She's coming to this tonight, right?

I mean, she's part of
your whole girl mob thing.

I mean, not that I care.
I don't care, obviously.

Rebecca is not coming.

Um, she's babysitting for Darryl. So,

let me tell you about the game

we're going to play.

I made it up myself, and it's called...

Trial by Fire.

Ha, ha! Interesting name, Paula.

What is this game, and how is it played?

Well, Scott, I'm so glad you asked.

It's a combination

of Celebrity and charades,
and the twist is...

all the famous people

are people from famous trials.

- Huh.
- Hmm.

That sounds so... great,

but if you're open about games,

I do love traditional charades.

Or Mafia is fun.

- Oh, yes.
- Yes. Yes.

Water polo.

Not an option? It is a game.

Yes. No. Thanks, everyone, for
those wonderful suggestions,

but, you know,

tonight, for no particular reason,

I would like to play a law-themed game.

I think you'll really like it.

So, now,

everybody, pick a number out of the hat.

Huh. So we're gonna pick a number,

and then square off and compete

against each other in your living room,

and that's what middle-class
people do, and that's cool?

Yeah, it's a game night, dude.

Oh, this is exciting. I love competing,

and, you know, I really
like winning, so...

I'm gonna win this. I'm gonna win!

Team One! Who's got it?

Uh, me.

Oh. Uh... Huh. You know, actually,
I think, now that I'm looking at it,

it looked more like a "seven" or an "L."

You know, I'm not that
excited, either. You're mean.

I'm not mean, okay? I'm nice now!

Baby, are you a "three"?

Uh, no, I'm "four."

- Me, too.
- Cool. Yes.

Team Two!

Oh! Yay! Me, too!

Ha, ha!

So that means, the other
person who is "three" is...

Yup. It's me.

Huh.

They have a history.

I don't exactly know what happened,

but Valencia is always
really mean to Hector.

Oh, I know. Trust me.
I've heard all about it.

Okay, everyone, let's play!

Don't worry. This is gonna
stop soon, because Darryl said

she barely cries, so
she'll stop crying soon,

and then you can finally tell
me what you want to tell me.

- You want me to try?
- No. No, no, no.

I don't know what you could
do that I'm possibly not doing,

'cause, you know, if anyone
should be able to soothe her,

it's me, 'cause we're related, so...

You know what? I'm just gonna... Shh...

What?

What?

What just happened? How did you do that?

I don't know. I just...

- Can I try?
- Yeah.

Let me try.

Shh...

Oh!

Okay. Okay. All right. All right.

Okay, okay.

What the... ? I can't soothe her at all,

and you just did it like... that.

Yeah, so, listen, Rebecca,
I wanted to tell you...

You know, I'll just, I'll
stay in this position.

What I wanted to tell you...

Hey, I really want to
hear what you have to say,

but just a quick, tiny question.

What do I do about the fact
that this baby hates me?

Okay, so, round one.

Scott and I will go first.

You ready, babe?

Oh, you bet. Honey,
let's do this! Okay, go.

Um, uh...

Heathers, shoplifting.

- Uh, Winona Ryder!
- Yes! Okay.

Uh, um... duel, britches.

- Aaron Burr!
- Yes.

- Uh, oh, his dad shot him.
- Marvin Gaye.

Right.

- Uh... oh, she axed her parents.
- Lizzie Borden.

Yes.

Uh, evolution trial!

- John T. Scopes!
- Yes!

Time!

Oh!

Oh! Oh,

I learned so much about the law
from your flash cards, honey.

- Mm. - It's almost like I'm
the one who grad... ually...

learned about the legal
system through flash cards.

Well, wait. Um, what
happened to Marvin Gaye?

Oh, his dad murdered him. Anyway...

As an adult?

No, Josh, as a baby.

Marvin Gaye was murdered as a baby.

All the music that he made that
you love, he made as a baby.

Whoa.

Fun!

Fun talking! Um... okay,
Valencia and Hector.

Your turn.

Uh...

Uh, okay, uh, just, uh, as a reminder,

uh, in this game, everyone has
to be nice to everyone else.

Is that correct?

That's-that's one of the rules, right?

Of course we'll be nice to each other.

I've always been nice to you, Hector.

We go way back.

Si arruinas esto, Te mataré y
arrojaré Tu cuerpo a un río. Okay?

Oh, you guys are bonding in Spanish!

So great!

Oh! Okay, well, come on up!

Yup.

Huh. I dropped out of Spanish,

but I definitely heard the word "kill."

Also, "river," so not great.

Maybe... kill, river...
They're planning a fishing trip.

Maybe.

Okay.

I don't know this one.

- Mm.
- Pass.

Pass. Pass.

Pass. Pass.

Pass. Pass.

Pass. Pass.

Pass.

Pass.

Pass. Pass. Pass.

- And time.
- Yes! Done!

Perfect. Nicely done, Hector.
Strong work.

Stop. She does that with her eyebrow

when she's about to assassinate me.

And yet you're still alive.

Okay.

She's finally asleep.

We did it.

What? No. You did it.

I didn't do anything.

She hates me.

Yeah, this is it.

This is why I've been
avoiding this baby.

It's 'cause I knew
that she would hate me.

Well... I knew that she would know

that I am dangerous and destructive.

- Rebecca...
- Greg.

Darryl says she never
cries, and she's around me

for two seconds, and she
turns into The Exorcist?

No. The best thing for her

is for me to just stay as
far away from her as possible.

I mean, I've-I've done enough damage

bringing her into this world
and giving her my garbage genes.

I just... I just need to
stay far away from her,

because, also, I bring
out the worst in her,

because I bring out the worst
in everybody, even babies.

- Come on, stop.
- I mean, you know it's true.

You left West Covina
just to get away from me,

and look how well you're doing.

So, clearly,

everyone is better off
without me, just face it.

Rebecca, stop.

If everyone was better off without you,

then why did I come here to tell you

that I can't stop thinking
about you, and I miss you,

and I clearly still
have feelings for you?

Wait. I think something
slipped out there.

Did something slip out?

You still have feelings for me?

Oh, yeah, that's what slipped out.

You, um...

I'm sorry. What?

Look, the thing is, I
realized how I felt about you,

came over to tell you, and
all those guys were there,

and that was not
enjoyable, but I don't care.

I can't stop thinking about you.

What do you think?

I think that I feel...
the exact same way.

We should really get the
baby out of this room.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We should do that. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, and...

Everyone is still having fun.

Uh...

Josh... and Nathaniel,

come on, show 'em how it's done.

All right, buddy, come
on, let's crush it!

- Come on!
- Okay.

Okay, uh, okay, this
is, um, three names.

Uh, first one is a, uh, creature

in an animated movie about a cat,

and last name is... another
movie, uh, not animated,

uh, about a guy who's

super smart and... speaks in an accent.

Uh... what?

Well, it says "Oliver Wendell Holmes."

That's a Supreme Court justice.

No one knows that.

No one knows who plays a
creature in an animated movie.

Yeah, they do. It's
called Oliver & Company,

so... Oliver.

Okay, let's just keep... just...

And time.

- How many did we get?
- How many did we... ?

Zero. We got zero.

We need a strategy.

We're getting creamed out there.

Yeah, I know. But it's
just a dumb game night.

It's not a big deal, all right?

Not a big deal?

It's a competition.

All right? It's
something that we can win.

It's a symbol of our strength.

- We need to be a team.
- I don't know

if I want to be on the same team as you.

We don't even like each other.
Like I said, you're mean.

Not anymore!

Look... look, who cares about "like"?

We're teammates. You think I liked

all the testosterone jerks
on my water polo team?

Of course... they're my
brothers and I love them.

But did I always like them?
No. But we had to work together

to get the little ball into the net.

Right, I-I hear that.

I mean, I don't like
all the guys at my dojo,

but I have to trust them
because they hold the wood

- for board-breaking.
- Wait a minute.

That's it.

Sports.

You're an athlete, I'm an athlete.

That's what we have in common.

Wow, we actually have
something in common.

Look, you and I

are very different,

but, really, we speak the same language.

- We do?
- Yeah, we do.

♪ We're down for the count ♪

♪ It's down to the wire ♪

♪ We can't drop the ball ♪

♪ We gotta aim a little higher ♪

♪ 'Cause when we're on the ropes ♪

♪ And it's our turn at bat ♪

♪ We gotta throw a Hail Mary ♪

♪ Gotta go to the mat ♪

♪ Sports analogies,
sports analogies ♪

♪ We found the common ground ♪

♪ In all men's personalities ♪

♪ We talk a big game ♪

♪ That's how we relate ♪

♪ It's the easiest way for men to ♪

♪ Communicate ♪

Hike!

♪ It's par for the course ♪

♪ When you're in the home stretch ♪

♪ To swing for the fences ♪

♪ With a full-court press ♪

♪ We're on the one-yard line ♪

♪ Inches to go ♪

♪ So you pitch and I'll catch ♪

♪ 'Cause it's our lead to blow ♪

♪ Let's use more sports analogies ♪

♪ Sports analogies ♪

♪ They help men cope with life's ♪

♪ Harsh realities ♪

♪ Let's spew more clichés ♪

♪ Till we run out the clock ♪

♪ Just keep your eye on the ball ♪

- ♪ The puck ♪
- ♪ And my shuttlecock ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ ♪

All right, let's get these shots.

Wait-wait-wait-wait. Come
on. Come on, here we go.

One, two, three, here we go.

- Sh-Sh-Sh-Shoot one more. Ready?
- Okay. Mm.

Come on! We can do it, we can do it.

Here, cheers.

♪ Sometimes when we watch sports ♪

♪ We get sad ♪

♪ And we make it seem like
we're sad about the sports ♪

♪ But we're not really
crying about the game at all ♪

♪ Who really cares about
a game of basketball? ♪

♪ We're sad ♪

♪ About our dads ♪

♪ We couldn't talk to our dads ♪

♪ Unless we used ♪

♪ Sports analogies ♪

♪ Sports analogies ♪

♪ Men feel safe with these ♪

♪ Empty generalities ♪

♪ Let's go for the gold ♪

♪ And then we'll hit the lockers ♪

♪ We're American men ♪

♪ We like all sports
except for soccer ♪

♪ 'Cause soccer's just a bunch ♪

♪ Of foreigners runnin' around ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

What'd you think, Dad?

I don't know.

Come on.

Please?

Yes.

Okay.

Baby's moved.

Should we un-pause? Press play?

I was really enjoying the kissing

from a few minutes ago, but...

Yeah, something feels... weird.

Um...

So, listen.

You know me... I'm
usually the first person

to impulsively throw myself
into any really romantic moment,

but I think I got to just...

take a beat and deal with the fact

that right before you so
sweetly kissed me, I was...

in the middle of a shame spiral.

Which isn't just a me thing.

That's a thing that happens
with my disorder, BPD.

Um, and basically, it's what you saw.

I can spiral out about
things, in this case...

oh, my fear that everyone hates me

and that I'm a contagious
plague in the form of a woman,

even though intellectually
I know that I'm not.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm sorry if I
bombarded you in that moment.

No, it's totally fine, and I loved it.

I just, I need to make sure that
I'm not relying on your feelings

for my own sense of self-worth.

Right, and I totally hear that.

And you are very wise.

Oh...

So can we kiss again, or not?

Yes.

Un-pause.

We can resume kissing.

Great.

♪ ♪

I'm so glad we un-paused.

Me, too.

Ow, ow, ow. There's something under me.

Oh, okay.

Ooh!

What... ?

Oh, there's a toy halfway up my ass.

This is all a big mess.

Where did Josh and Nathaniel even go?

We don't know, but...
would you mind if we left?

Hector is very triggered.

- No!
- Wha...

Uh, come on, you guys,

we just got started.

I mean, you can't leave.

No one leave. Please.

Everything's going wrong.

Rebecca couldn't come,
everyone sucks at the game

or is ignoring the game or
fighting or all of these things.

Honey, maybe we should
play a different game.

Or-or no games.

A-And maybe we should tell
people why they're here.

No. No way!

I don't want to tell
people that I graduated

and that's what this party is.

That kind of attention makes
me feel so uncomfortable

and awkward and anxious

and-and pressured to be
something or say something.

This is my own private victory.

The little girl who loved
People's Court made it

all the way, and I want to savor it

in my own way, on my own,
with everyone coming over

and doing exactly what I want them to do

at every moment without being asked.

Babe. You can't expect
people to know what you want

without telling them.

No one here is a mind reader,

except maybe Valencia.

She's into that occult stuff.

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Let's... just go back in there

and call it off.

No.

We're gonna go out there

and tell people you graduated right now.

- But...
- Hon.

I listen to you most of the time...

Almost all the time...
Because you're smart

and I respect you,

but you're wrong about this.

It's time for you to listen to me.

Hey, guys.

So, um...

I graduated from law school.

- Whoa.
- What? When?

Last week.

And you didn't tell or invite anyone?

Who was your graduation speaker?

Was it Mindy Kaling?

She spoke at Harvard Law in 2014.

- What? I Stan.
- I just...

I have trouble celebrating myself,

and it may stem from an incident
at my 11th birthday party

where my dad told
everyone I had breast buds.

Dads.

- Yep.
- But...

Scott is right.

And, um, I need to learn

how to tell people what I want

and what I need and how I feel.

Look, you guys, if
you don't want to play

my law-themed game or any
game tonight, that is fine.

We can just relax and
talk and drink and...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not play games? Screw that.

Chan and I got a game to win.

- Really?
- Yeah, we do.

Yeah, come on, Chan, batter up.

Ready?

Yeah. All right.

Look right here, right here.

Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, right there.

Okay. He coached a team in L.A.,

uh, made up of women who
murdered celebrity opponents.

Charles Manson?

Yes!

- What?
- Wow.

Um, all right, um, okay.

This dude lied about an
at-bat with an opponent

who wore a blue uniform
she saved in her closet.

- Bill Clinton!
- Yes!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

Okay, so this is the
lady who tells you how

to sweep home plate and grill
the hot dogs for the game,

and she went to jail
for something financial,

but it's too confusing
for you to understand.

- Martha Stewart!
- Yes!

Time!

- Yes!
- Whoo!

- Did we win?
- No, no. Paula and Scott scored, like,

twice as many as we did.

But, dude, come on, what
a great showing, right?

I'm proud of us!

You played the game right!

We played the game right!

- Yeah!
- Yeah! Come on!

Played the game right. Yes...

played the game right.

All right, look, I get
that you're scared of me.

And there's a reason for that.

Because you're very mean to me?

Right. I'll admit it. I am.

Why? Why, Valencia?

I've always just been nice to you.

Yes, exactly.

You're nice to me and to everyone else.

You're nice and easygoing and fun,

and everyone likes you more than me.

Our kindergarten class,
our Sunday school teacher,

the bus driver, and even Josh.

It's so easy for you,
and it makes me jealous.

That's not true.

Not everyone likes me.

There is one person who I liked

who never liked me.

Oh, please, who? The smelly gym teacher?

Hector, why did you care
if he liked you? He smelled.

No. You.

You, Valencia.

You like me?

Of course I do.

You're smart and cool
and hella fashionable.

I want to be friends.

Why didn't you ever say that?

You were too busy yelling at me.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I won't do that anymore.

You won't?

No way. Now that I know you're a fan?

I love my fans.

Okay. Cool.

We'll have to practice that.

Wow.

- This was a surprise.
- Yeah.

- I'm glad you came over.
- Me, too.

- Hey, Greg?
- Hmm.

I, uh...

I don't want to mess this up.

I still have a teeny, tiny
tendency to mess things up.

So what? We both do. Everyone does.

So you think we can do this?

You think we can...

start again for the...

80th time?

Yeah.

♪ I mean, is anyone we meet
really that new to us? ♪

♪ We're all the same
species that grew ♪

♪ In a uterus ♪

♪ A kiss is a kiss ♪

♪ A face is a face ♪

♪ So what if we met ♪

♪ In another time
and another place? ♪

I'll get her.

No, no. I'll go.

Okay.

_

_

_

Nope.

Hey, man, what you doing?

Oh, uh, this fridge has
good light, and, like I said,

I'm trying to get this
Fett Regoso sponsorship.

Oh. You want me to take a photo?

Oh, that'd be great.

Thanks, man. Yeah.

- All right. Obviously you want the
underwear in there, right? - Yeah.

Oh, and...

That's... No, that's... Yeah, there.

That's better. Uh-huh. Is
that better? Okay, cool.

Hmm.

Huh.

Right there?

- Selfies for that Fett thing?
- Yeah.

I think you need a fill light.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah, that'd be dope.

I'm gonna get low.

- Here we go.
- Yeah, this is good.

- Yeah, should I open, like...
- Yeah, open up, but just relax.

- Just relax.
- Okay. Hmm.

Is this for the Fett thing?

You know, this is gonna look too staged.

I'll be candid in the back.

- Good call.
- Yes.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. All right.

Cool. Super natural.

Right? Just relax. Everything's normal.

- Now think about the underwear.
- Hmm.

- This is a great graduation party.
- Josh, flex that left tricep.

- Oh, there we go.
- That's it. Oh!

That's the money.

Three, two, one, laugh.

Why are you laughing?

Hey there.

Hey.

I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot.

And I'm sorry I've been avoiding you.

I was scared.

But I hope we can be friends now.

I'm Rebecca.

♪ Hello, nice to meet you ♪

♪ We share chromosomes ♪

♪ Hello, nice to meet you ♪

♪ You're kind of me ♪

♪ So, since you're both the
future and kind of a mirror ♪

♪ I'll tell you right now
that life doesn't get clearer ♪

♪ All I can say is
have fun in the gray ♪

♪ Well, anyway ♪

♪ It's nice to meet you. ♪

Heaven.

Hey, Greg.

- What, uh... ?
- Oh.

Hey. I just came over to see Rebecca.

Nothing more than that happened.

Hey, can I wash some of these toys?

No reason. Just want to help out.

I would just love to wash some
of these floor toys for you.

That's so nice. Sure.

A single parent has to
take his/her/their help

wherever you can find it.

- Can never be too clean.
- Mm-mm.

Where's, uh, Hebby?

Where's Rebecca?

Aw, look at you two. Best buds.

I mean, not yet, but
we're getting there.

She pooped on me a ton.

I smelled it. So maybe
that's a compliment?

Oh, this is the sweetest thing.

Oh, this is so great.

- Darryl, we got to go.
- Hmm?

I got a text. Paula needs us.

So, lucky for us,

Gary's friends

never picked up his cake.

And Paula's friends got it for 50% off.

- ♪ Congratulations ♪
- No.

♪ To you ♪

- ♪ Congratulations to you ♪
- My God, I hate this so very much.

♪ Congratulations, dear Gary ♪

♪ Congratulations to you. ♪

Oh, my God.

Oh, thank you.

It's perfect.

And I'm just, uh...

I'm just so happy for... Gary.

Just, he's-he's worked
so hard for this.

And, oh, my God.

Thanks so much, both of you, for coming.

Paula, are you kidding?
Of course we're here.

Yeah, we wouldn't
have missed it for the world.

I mean, we did miss it because
you didn't tell us about it,

- but, hey, we're here.
- Shh.

How was your date?

Oh, not great. She's a pharmacist,

but she wants to be an influencer,

so she got up on the chairs
and took pictures of our food.

But at least I'm back out there.

Hey, wait a minute. If you two
are here, who's with the baby?

"Speak softly.

"Feed frequent snacks.

Give them something to suck on"?

Wow.

You know, some of this
works for adults, too.

Paula, you know I would have loved

to go to graduation with you.

I know. I know.

I messed up.

I mean, I-I should've told everyone,

but, I mean, most of all,

I really should have told you.

Yeah, it's okay. It's
okay. It's in the past.

Okay.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh! Come here.

So proud. Thank you.

Oh.

- And, Paula, I got something
to tell you, too. - Yeah?

So, tonight I was babysitting Hebby,

- and Greg was there.
- Uh-huh.

And, uh...

we kissed.

Oh. And then...

we had some sex.

What? Where?

On the floor of Darryl's living room.

Oh! Oh!

I mean, so romantic?

It actually was really romantic.

Really? It was so romantic.
It feels different, Paula.

It's different this time.

Greg makes me feel like I'm...

... like I'm okay

because he's so much
more okay now, you know?

And like...

maybe we could be the
best versions of ourselves

if we're together.

So, what does that mean?
What now? I don't know.

But...

I really think there's something there.

So, keep that under your hat.

I will. I'm not gonna
say a word. Cheers.

Subtitle sync and corrections by
ChrisKe for www.addic7ed.com.