Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,428
Just like our smartphones,
2
00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:06,171
sometimes we humans need updates, too.
3
00:00:06,196 --> 00:00:07,881
So, I pay all the bills, and I'm forced
4
00:00:07,906 --> 00:00:09,635
to sit Indian-style on the floor?
5
00:00:09,674 --> 00:00:12,538
Easy, fella. It's "criss-cross
applesauce" now.
6
00:00:12,563 --> 00:00:13,563
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
7
00:00:13,588 --> 00:00:15,046
Dad, would you like it
8
00:00:15,077 --> 00:00:17,127
if there was some White guy
asking his son
9
00:00:17,152 --> 00:00:19,587
not to wear his hat "Negro-style"?
10
00:00:19,588 --> 00:00:22,119
Criss-cross applesauce it is.
11
00:00:22,144 --> 00:00:24,727
Fine. Move your feet, Negro.
12
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,844
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
13
00:00:29,699 --> 00:00:32,409
So, I try my best to stay up to date,
14
00:00:32,434 --> 00:00:34,204
but it doesn't always work out.
15
00:00:34,229 --> 00:00:37,269
I know what we're doing for
Devante's birthday party.
16
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,644
Ha ha!
17
00:00:39,715 --> 00:00:41,144
A water gun fight!
18
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,457
A box of guns, Dre?
19
00:00:43,458 --> 00:00:48,261
We are not having a gun party
for our child's second birthday!
20
00:00:48,286 --> 00:00:50,298
Think about the message
that you're sending!
21
00:00:50,323 --> 00:00:53,382
The message is, "Who wants to
get riddled with fun?!"
22
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:56,024
Aaah! Aah! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
23
00:00:56,049 --> 00:00:57,912
Okay, okay! Oh!
24
00:00:57,913 --> 00:01:00,202
What?
25
00:01:00,203 --> 00:01:03,457
Do you think I would really give
you a loaded water gun, Bow?
26
00:01:03,482 --> 00:01:04,974
I have thought
about this birthday party,
27
00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:06,021
and we've got to do it right,
28
00:01:06,046 --> 00:01:09,724
and the child-rearing rules keep changing.
It's tough to keep up!
29
00:01:09,749 --> 00:01:11,881
Oh, hey, um...
30
00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:14,491
- I made some homemade snack bars.
- Oh.
31
00:01:14,522 --> 00:01:18,288
Healthy, organic, no gluten,
no dairy, no nuts.
32
00:01:18,313 --> 00:01:21,394
Oh. Hey, did those go
right from the hot oven
33
00:01:21,434 --> 00:01:23,613
into that toxic plastic container?
34
00:01:23,685 --> 00:01:27,395
Um... no.
35
00:01:27,944 --> 00:01:33,100
Warm plastic leaches toxins into food.
36
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:34,244
Did you know that?
37
00:01:34,269 --> 00:01:36,087
I still microwave Styrofoam,
38
00:01:36,112 --> 00:01:39,167
so I probably did not know that.
39
00:01:39,192 --> 00:01:40,863
You know, when the chicken bone
pops through,
40
00:01:40,888 --> 00:01:41,988
that's when I know it's done.
41
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,849
Well, I've thought about
Devante's birthday party,
42
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:45,296
and we need to be more mindful.
43
00:01:45,321 --> 00:01:47,599
And for his party, we are gonna have
44
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,679
an allergen-safe environment
45
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:54,124
with organic face painting
and gender-neutral games.
46
00:01:54,149 --> 00:01:55,679
And pony rides!
47
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:56,849
Oh, my God...
48
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,679
- You're joking, right?
- What?
49
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,970
- Those animals are so mistreated.
- Exactly!
50
00:02:02,995 --> 00:02:05,212
I just saw a doc called
"Parties of Shame,"
51
00:02:05,237 --> 00:02:07,359
and the only thing treated
worse than those ponies
52
00:02:07,384 --> 00:02:09,019
- are human clowns.
- Mnh-mnh.
53
00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,609
But unlike the ponies,
those clowns had a choice.
54
00:02:11,634 --> 00:02:13,059
- Mnh.
- They just made the wrong one.
55
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:16,019
Look, all this stuff might've
worked 10 or 20 years ago,
56
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:19,054
but we know better now,
and we need to do better.
57
00:02:19,079 --> 00:02:20,639
Okay, okay, babe, I hear you.
58
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,905
- Okay.
- How 'bout a piñata?
59
00:02:22,961 --> 00:02:24,920
- Really?!
- What's wrong with a piñata?!
60
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:27,418
Let's start with the fact that
it's hanging from a tree.
61
00:02:27,434 --> 00:02:28,643
Oh...
62
00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:30,081
Yeah, I guess I should've caught that.
63
00:02:30,106 --> 00:02:33,224
Plus, many of those piñatas
are unlicensed reproductions
64
00:02:33,249 --> 00:02:35,417
- of copyrighted...
- You know what? Mnh!
65
00:02:35,418 --> 00:02:36,537
Oh!
66
00:02:36,538 --> 00:02:38,919
- Dad, why?!
- You know why.
67
00:02:38,944 --> 00:02:40,707
Uh... w... No, don't.
68
00:02:40,708 --> 00:02:42,787
Take... Take cover, sweetheart!
69
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,417
- Yeah, "Boyz n the Hood"-style!
- There's no water!
70
00:02:44,418 --> 00:02:46,457
- There's no water in it!
- "Boyz n the Hood"-style!
71
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,247
Wh...
72
00:02:50,708 --> 00:02:53,577
So, Mom was hitting Dad up
about being more mindful,
73
00:02:53,578 --> 00:02:55,120
and I think she's right.
74
00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:56,417
We could do more,
75
00:02:56,418 --> 00:02:58,617
especially when it comes
to the environment.
76
00:02:58,618 --> 00:03:00,537
But we do a ton for the environment.
77
00:03:00,538 --> 00:03:02,377
I mean, we're twins.
78
00:03:02,378 --> 00:03:04,707
- Instant carpool.
- No, we can do better.
79
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:06,417
We've been riding on that for a while.
80
00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:07,457
Bingo. Great.
81
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,497
So, our first order of business
82
00:03:09,498 --> 00:03:13,417
is to wrangle up the most
wasteful person among us.
83
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,457
- Grandma!
- What the hey?
84
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,417
How did I know the shower would be on
85
00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:29,457
but you wouldn't be in it?
86
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,747
'Cause Grandma's efficient, baby.
87
00:03:31,748 --> 00:03:34,188
I'm getting the wrinkles
out of my clothes
88
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,984
and skin at the same time.
89
00:03:36,009 --> 00:03:38,643
- It's definitely working on the clothes.
- Whoa.
90
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:40,497
Okay, that sharp tongue of yours
91
00:03:40,498 --> 00:03:43,417
is gonna serve you well
in hell, baby girl.
92
00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:46,747
And anyway, I can only brush
my teeth in humidity.
93
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:50,537
I've got what dentists call
"fool's enamel."
94
00:03:50,538 --> 00:03:51,577
Come on, Grandma, you gotta start
95
00:03:51,578 --> 00:03:53,287
thinking about the environment.
96
00:03:53,288 --> 00:03:54,537
Yeah, get on board.
97
00:03:54,538 --> 00:03:56,497
You kids got it all wrong.
98
00:03:56,498 --> 00:03:59,327
Letting a little water run is fine
99
00:03:59,328 --> 00:04:02,377
if the reward you seek
is not of this world.
100
00:04:02,378 --> 00:04:07,117
You see, there's nothing
to recycle in heaven. Eh?
101
00:04:07,118 --> 00:04:08,457
Now get out of here.
102
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:10,377
I floss in the nude.
103
00:04:10,378 --> 00:04:11,577
- That's right! Go on! Get out!
- Oh! Get...
104
00:04:11,578 --> 00:04:14,497
The hell outta here. Go on!
Talking all that crap.
105
00:04:14,498 --> 00:04:16,966
Uh-oh.
106
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,667
Okay, what's wrong, Dre?
107
00:04:18,668 --> 00:04:21,537
Is the vending machine
all out of sunflower seeds?
108
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:23,457
Okay, so, then, you do know.
109
00:04:23,458 --> 00:04:25,497
We're having Devante's birthday party,
110
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,617
and I want ponies and water guns,
111
00:04:27,618 --> 00:04:30,167
but Bow says I'm not being mindful.
112
00:04:30,168 --> 00:04:31,287
- Ohh.
- Mnh.
113
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:33,167
Suddenly, everything I love
is a problem.
114
00:04:33,168 --> 00:04:34,327
Tell me about it.
115
00:04:34,328 --> 00:04:36,167
Do you remember bum fights?
116
00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:37,577
God, they were so much fun.
117
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:41,457
Now you can't call 'em "bums,"
and you can't make 'em fight.
118
00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:43,667
Hey, you know what?
There are land mines everywhere.
119
00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:45,537
A rug can be called "Oriental,"
120
00:04:45,538 --> 00:04:46,617
but that can't be your preference
121
00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:48,577
on your dating profile, believe you me.
122
00:04:48,578 --> 00:04:50,497
And can someone tell me this...
123
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,828
when it did become
not okay to kick birds?
124
00:04:55,078 --> 00:04:56,327
That... That long, huh?
125
00:04:56,328 --> 00:04:59,996
Look, guys, there's a lot
of upside to being mindful,
126
00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:04,077
but, damn it, it seems as if
they keep moving the goal line.
127
00:05:04,078 --> 00:05:05,327
Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:05,328 --> 00:05:07,787
Like there's a secret society
who decides
129
00:05:07,788 --> 00:05:11,327
what is and isn't appropriate
for all of us.
130
00:05:11,328 --> 00:05:13,207
- Yeah.
- Secret society?
131
00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:15,037
W-W-Who's in a secret society?
132
00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:16,167
Not me.
133
00:05:16,168 --> 00:05:17,457
And hell, nah, we don't call ourselves
134
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:18,962
Illuminaughty By Nature.
135
00:05:18,987 --> 00:05:20,111
What?
136
00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:21,747
Look, Dre, face it, okay?
137
00:05:21,748 --> 00:05:25,287
The moral high horse that
society is riding these days,
138
00:05:25,288 --> 00:05:28,457
well, it is trampling over
everything we love.
139
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:30,287
And the minute they take it away,
140
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:33,037
oho, it is gone forever.
141
00:05:33,038 --> 00:05:34,077
So what do I do?
142
00:05:34,078 --> 00:05:35,287
You fight it, Dre.
143
00:05:35,288 --> 00:05:37,497
Come on, have the party
you want to have.
144
00:05:37,498 --> 00:05:39,207
You want to shoot ponies?
145
00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,417
Go ahead, shoot ponies.
146
00:05:40,418 --> 00:05:43,207
We aren't shooting ponies!
147
00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:45,287
So they already got to you, huh?
148
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:50,207
Bow, we need to talk.
149
00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:51,457
- Hi, Dre.
- Hi.
150
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:54,001
Uh, look, baby, we need to stand tall
151
00:05:54,026 --> 00:05:57,704
and fight for everything that
our kids enjoy... classics.
152
00:05:57,729 --> 00:05:59,673
All right, we cannot let the PC Police
153
00:05:59,698 --> 00:06:01,167
take everything away from us.
154
00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:03,077
So I'm giving you two choices
155
00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:04,917
for Devante's birthday party...
156
00:06:04,918 --> 00:06:06,077
ponies...
157
00:06:06,078 --> 00:06:07,747
or water guns and ponies.
158
00:06:07,748 --> 00:06:11,247
Okay, I understand that this
is important to you, Dre,
159
00:06:11,248 --> 00:06:12,377
but what is important to me
160
00:06:12,378 --> 00:06:15,327
is that I can make adjustments
and be mindful.
161
00:06:15,328 --> 00:06:17,247
And I get it... I'm a good person,
162
00:06:17,248 --> 00:06:19,167
but can we maybe pick this up later?
163
00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:20,417
Is that cool? All right?
164
00:06:20,418 --> 00:06:21,617
And you're making me lose count.
165
00:06:21,618 --> 00:06:26,184
- Okay. That's cool.
- 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27.
166
00:06:27,631 --> 00:06:28,856
- Baby?
- 28, 29, 30. Yes.
167
00:06:28,881 --> 00:06:30,998
Did you just call me a bad person?
168
00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,748
Yeah. I did.
169
00:06:37,928 --> 00:06:40,593
Just because I think our son would like
170
00:06:40,618 --> 00:06:42,950
a little water fight and
a couple of ponies at his party
171
00:06:42,975 --> 00:06:45,167
does not make me a bad person.
172
00:06:45,168 --> 00:06:48,410
Okay, I'd be lying if I said
173
00:06:48,435 --> 00:06:52,207
I wasn't baffled by some
of the things that you still do.
174
00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:53,287
Like what?
175
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:57,917
You still listen to "Ain't No Fun."
176
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,957
It's a jam.
177
00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:01,327
It's misogynist.
178
00:07:01,328 --> 00:07:05,037
It's about friends and sharing!
179
00:07:05,038 --> 00:07:07,618
Think about the chorus.
180
00:07:09,378 --> 00:07:12,117
- Oh...
- Yeah.
181
00:07:12,118 --> 00:07:14,872
It's, uh... it's just about sharing.
182
00:07:14,897 --> 00:07:16,543
And it's not just about music, babe...
183
00:07:16,568 --> 00:07:18,167
it's your whole approach to life.
184
00:07:18,168 --> 00:07:22,247
I mean, you are not mindful
of how things impact others
185
00:07:22,248 --> 00:07:24,247
unless they directly affect you.
186
00:07:24,248 --> 00:07:29,077
Name an instance where I put
myself ahead of others.
187
00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:35,327
What's so funny?
188
00:07:35,328 --> 00:07:37,167
You want me to name one?
189
00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,207
Yeah, that's about 50 pounds.
190
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,208
Okay.
191
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:41,918
Back to Sexy Dre.
192
00:07:43,078 --> 00:07:45,037
I didn't come up with "Sexy Dre."
193
00:07:45,038 --> 00:07:47,034
- The streets did!
- Okay, fine!
194
00:07:47,059 --> 00:07:48,667
How about the fact that,
when we go out to eat,
195
00:07:48,692 --> 00:07:51,659
you never want to do farm-to-table.
196
00:07:51,684 --> 00:07:53,383
'Cause I don't care about the biography
197
00:07:53,384 --> 00:07:54,807
of a carrot before I eat it.
198
00:07:54,832 --> 00:07:58,513
I know that you sneak-watch
"The Cosby Show"
199
00:07:58,514 --> 00:07:59,683
in the middle of the night.
200
00:07:59,684 --> 00:08:01,643
I only laugh at Rudy.
201
00:08:01,644 --> 00:08:03,383
Everything you're calling me out for
202
00:08:03,384 --> 00:08:06,343
is what contributed to who I am today.
203
00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:08,433
Ohh... you know what?
204
00:08:08,434 --> 00:08:10,183
What?
205
00:08:10,184 --> 00:08:11,263
You're right.
206
00:08:11,264 --> 00:08:12,433
Ohh, sweetheart.
207
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:14,383
- What?
- I know it's hard for you.
208
00:08:14,384 --> 00:08:16,643
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
209
00:08:16,644 --> 00:08:19,553
Are you saying
you're better than me, Bow?
210
00:08:19,554 --> 00:08:21,513
- Well.
- Well, for someone who claims
211
00:08:21,514 --> 00:08:22,803
to love animals as much as you do,
212
00:08:22,804 --> 00:08:27,383
you're serving an awful lot
of steak at Devante's party.
213
00:08:27,384 --> 00:08:29,643
I only buy level-five,
214
00:08:29,644 --> 00:08:33,513
grass-fed, hormone-free beef.
215
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,104
Those are happy cows.
216
00:08:35,129 --> 00:08:39,053
Yeah, happy until they get
a bolt in the brain.
217
00:08:39,054 --> 00:08:41,473
Fine. I'll be vegan.
218
00:08:41,474 --> 00:08:43,263
It's no problem.
219
00:08:43,264 --> 00:08:45,383
Okay.
220
00:08:45,384 --> 00:08:47,183
What about those diamonds?
221
00:08:47,184 --> 00:08:48,263
Hmm?
222
00:08:48,264 --> 00:08:49,593
What about them?
223
00:08:49,594 --> 00:08:54,053
Lives were lost
for those blood diamonds.
224
00:08:54,054 --> 00:08:56,093
Rent a movie.
225
00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,143
"It's not bling-bling.
226
00:08:58,144 --> 00:09:00,054
It's bling bang."
227
00:09:02,224 --> 00:09:04,224
Then I won't wear them anymore.
228
00:09:06,144 --> 00:09:07,223
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
229
00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:09,553
Well, it's easy not to wear earrings.
230
00:09:09,554 --> 00:09:14,383
Why don't we do something
that requires real sacrifice?
231
00:09:14,384 --> 00:09:18,303
Like that luxury SUV that seats eight
232
00:09:18,304 --> 00:09:21,383
but only drives one most of the time.
233
00:09:21,384 --> 00:09:23,183
I'll take the bus!
234
00:09:23,184 --> 00:09:24,473
Stop talking crazy, Bow,
235
00:09:24,474 --> 00:09:26,729
and just admit that
I'm not a bad person,
236
00:09:26,754 --> 00:09:28,643
and you're not as good
as you say that you are.
237
00:09:28,644 --> 00:09:30,120
All right, and let's go order some steak
238
00:09:30,145 --> 00:09:32,343
- with some diamonds on top.
- Ah-ah ah-ah ah-ah-ah!
239
00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:35,383
The sign of a good person, Dre,
240
00:09:35,384 --> 00:09:38,343
is that you are willing to do better,
241
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:41,343
and I want to do better.
242
00:09:41,344 --> 00:09:45,093
You won't survive on the bus.
243
00:09:45,094 --> 00:09:47,143
Game on!
244
00:09:47,144 --> 00:09:48,433
I'm-a get a monthly pass.
245
00:09:48,434 --> 00:09:50,343
Do you know why?
246
00:09:50,344 --> 00:09:52,144
Because I...
247
00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:56,013
Uh...
248
00:09:56,014 --> 00:09:57,843
...am a good person.
249
00:10:03,094 --> 00:10:04,343
Hey, kids!
250
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:06,883
Come on over here
and give Grandma a hand.
251
00:10:06,884 --> 00:10:08,162
Come on.
252
00:10:08,187 --> 00:10:10,722
Grandma, how come you didn't use
the bags that we gave you?
253
00:10:10,747 --> 00:10:13,862
Yeah. Science shows that
those reusable totes
254
00:10:13,887 --> 00:10:15,058
are better for the environment.
255
00:10:15,091 --> 00:10:19,343
Unh-unh. I found an onion skin
in one... threw 'em all away.
256
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:21,303
Contamination!
257
00:10:21,304 --> 00:10:24,104
Did you individually bag bananas?
258
00:10:24,129 --> 00:10:27,013
Oh, baby, when they touch, they go bad.
259
00:10:27,014 --> 00:10:28,190
There's your science.
260
00:10:28,215 --> 00:10:31,183
Well, can you at least save them
so you can reuse them?
261
00:10:31,184 --> 00:10:33,263
Oh, baby, I save 'em already!
262
00:10:33,264 --> 00:10:35,803
Look at this. See?
263
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:39,222
Grandma, that is horrible, even for you!
264
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:42,707
- You can't possibly keep all these bags!
- You hear that, kids?
265
00:10:42,732 --> 00:10:46,601
Mr. Environmental wants me to
dump them in a landfill.
266
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,651
I'll get rid of them the right way...
267
00:10:48,652 --> 00:10:51,481
with an old-fashioned trash fire.
268
00:10:51,482 --> 00:10:53,441
Diane, go get my burn barrel.
269
00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:54,521
You had it last.
270
00:10:54,522 --> 00:10:57,361
Grandma, no.
You'll release greenhouse gases.
271
00:10:57,362 --> 00:10:59,521
And that melts the polar ice caps.
272
00:10:59,522 --> 00:11:01,361
Tell her, Diane.
273
00:11:01,362 --> 00:11:02,561
I don't know.
274
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:07,311
I love polar bears, but I also
love a big, stanky fire.
275
00:11:07,312 --> 00:11:09,271
Diane, no...
276
00:11:09,272 --> 00:11:10,651
That's right, baby.
277
00:11:10,652 --> 00:11:13,401
Burn what needs to be burned.
278
00:11:13,402 --> 00:11:15,651
- Yeah.
- Mm.
279
00:11:15,652 --> 00:11:18,691
So, Bow had been living
mindfully for a week.
280
00:11:18,692 --> 00:11:23,441
I kept waiting for her to
crumble, but she was all in.
281
00:11:23,442 --> 00:11:24,561
- You know, Dre?
- Hmm?
282
00:11:24,562 --> 00:11:26,601
I don't even miss my diamonds.
283
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,896
And everyone at work
284
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,441
loved my vegan chili...
285
00:11:29,442 --> 00:11:31,818
...and you were wrong about the bus.
286
00:11:34,442 --> 00:11:35,521
How's that book, Bow?
287
00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:36,696
The reviews are great.
288
00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:38,311
Oh! Oh.
289
00:11:38,312 --> 00:11:40,022
Um, it's really good, Tonya.
290
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,941
Yeah, uh, you can borrow it
when I'm done.
291
00:11:41,942 --> 00:11:44,521
- That would be amazing.
- Just like our public transit system.
292
00:11:44,522 --> 00:11:46,231
Amazing.
293
00:11:46,232 --> 00:11:47,271
Yeah. Right?
294
00:11:47,272 --> 00:11:48,481
Making all these adjustments
295
00:11:48,482 --> 00:11:51,151
has made me feel like I'm doing my part.
296
00:11:51,152 --> 00:11:52,521
- I see it, too...
- Hmm.
297
00:11:52,522 --> 00:11:55,561
...and I think you deserve a reward
298
00:11:55,562 --> 00:11:57,401
for being such a good person.
299
00:11:57,402 --> 00:11:58,441
Oh, no, no, no.
300
00:11:58,442 --> 00:11:59,731
You can't tempt me...
301
00:11:59,732 --> 00:12:04,021
not with burgers or steaks or...
302
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:05,231
Voilà!
303
00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:08,441
- Feast your eyes.
- Mm-hmm.
304
00:12:08,442 --> 00:12:10,942
Smell it. Mmm.
305
00:12:18,442 --> 00:12:19,442
Conflict-free?
306
00:12:19,443 --> 00:12:22,231
No... much conflict.
307
00:12:22,232 --> 00:12:23,917
Inner conflict.
308
00:12:23,942 --> 00:12:27,192
Should I go huge or huger?
309
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,561
I hope you kept your receipt,
Dre, because Mama is clean now.
310
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,572
I...
311
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:35,667
And I need to go finish reading my book
312
00:12:35,692 --> 00:12:38,361
so that I can give it to my bus buddy.
313
00:12:38,362 --> 00:12:39,771
Hold on, b-babe, babe.
314
00:12:39,772 --> 00:12:42,441
You mean, you really weren't
doing all of this
315
00:12:42,442 --> 00:12:43,969
just to make me look bad?
316
00:12:43,994 --> 00:12:47,547
I am not, Dre, and you should
try being a good person, too.
317
00:12:47,572 --> 00:12:49,603
It's not that hard.
318
00:12:51,152 --> 00:12:53,061
Make that change.
319
00:12:59,562 --> 00:13:03,061
Even though
this man in the mirror was fly,
320
00:13:03,062 --> 00:13:04,074
Bow had me thinking.
321
00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,561
If she wasn't going to
come down to my level,
322
00:13:06,562 --> 00:13:10,441
maybe I needed to come up to
hers and be more mindful...
323
00:13:10,442 --> 00:13:13,771
like by donating my unmindful
things to charity.
324
00:13:13,772 --> 00:13:19,151
These were made in a sweatshop,
probably by children.
325
00:13:19,152 --> 00:13:20,561
Real wolf fur.
326
00:13:20,562 --> 00:13:22,770
Likely a mom and her cubs
327
00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,441
taken while sleeping.
328
00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:28,271
It was so in that year, but so wrong.
329
00:13:28,272 --> 00:13:30,151
My belt budget alone could build
330
00:13:30,152 --> 00:13:31,561
a girls' school in Africa.
331
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:35,021
And now that I was seeing
the world in a different way,
332
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,361
I couldn't turn it off.
333
00:13:36,362 --> 00:13:39,897
For example,
Tony is no longer a Latino...
334
00:13:39,922 --> 00:13:42,441
he's a member of the Latinx community.
335
00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:45,101
And I'm learning to speak Latinx.
336
00:13:45,102 --> 00:13:48,191
Holax, Tony. Buenos Diax.
337
00:13:48,192 --> 00:13:49,481
I think that was right.
338
00:13:49,482 --> 00:13:52,271
I even had to see my lunch
in a different way.
339
00:13:52,272 --> 00:13:54,893
I was excited about eating mindfully.
340
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,151
Whoa. How did you have them cook that,
341
00:13:57,152 --> 00:13:58,231
medium-green?
342
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:02,361
Guys, I'm happy with my salad.
343
00:14:02,362 --> 00:14:04,107
Are you sure you're not sick, Dre?
344
00:14:04,132 --> 00:14:05,640
- Hmm?
- Because that looks like
345
00:14:05,664 --> 00:14:07,179
the lunch of someone who found out
346
00:14:07,203 --> 00:14:09,101
he's gonna die if he doesn't
make changes.
347
00:14:09,102 --> 00:14:12,191
Ooh! One rib left.
348
00:14:12,192 --> 00:14:14,151
- Splitsies?
- Oh, absolutely.
349
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:15,271
Mmm.
350
00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,481
Mmm. Mmm.
351
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:20,401
Of course, it was a struggle
to stay mindful,
352
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:23,561
and I nearly fell off
the wagon that night.
353
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,021
Welcome to Pauly's Burgers.
What can I get you?
354
00:14:26,022 --> 00:14:27,732
Yeah...
355
00:14:29,192 --> 00:14:31,191
Never mind.
356
00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:32,521
I can't do it.
357
00:14:38,232 --> 00:14:40,901
Oh, no, you didn't.
358
00:14:45,402 --> 00:14:47,231
Hey! Hey!
359
00:14:47,232 --> 00:14:48,811
Hey.
360
00:14:48,812 --> 00:14:50,101
I see you.
361
00:14:50,102 --> 00:14:51,887
I see you!
362
00:14:51,912 --> 00:14:55,061
And... were you just listening
to "Ain't No Fun"?
363
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,191
Huh?!
364
00:14:56,192 --> 00:15:00,191
The least mindful song
in the history of hip-hop?!
365
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:01,271
What?!
366
00:15:01,272 --> 00:15:03,231
That's corrupt! You hypocrite!
367
00:15:03,232 --> 00:15:05,692
- I know!
- I...
368
00:15:07,942 --> 00:15:11,061
I know "Ain't No Fun" is wrong,
369
00:15:11,062 --> 00:15:13,555
but you were right... it's a jam.
370
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,289
And it was my jam
all through med school,
371
00:15:16,314 --> 00:15:17,393
and I can't take that back.
372
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:20,736
You guilted me into
donating my wolf coat.
373
00:15:20,761 --> 00:15:24,247
- Wh...
- And now my fox scarf looks silly.
374
00:15:24,248 --> 00:15:25,627
It always looked silly, didn't it?
375
00:15:25,628 --> 00:15:29,417
- I ate salad for lunch on rib day.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
376
00:15:29,418 --> 00:15:32,665
Now, was this mindfulness just a lie?
377
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:34,087
No!
378
00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:35,507
I tried!
379
00:15:35,508 --> 00:15:37,547
And I... It was all going really well,
380
00:15:37,548 --> 00:15:39,167
and then, I-I don't know, I just...
381
00:15:39,168 --> 00:15:42,006
I... fell off the rails today.
382
00:15:42,031 --> 00:15:45,201
Sure, not wearing my diamond
ring made some things easier,
383
00:15:45,226 --> 00:15:47,976
but it also made some things creepier.
384
00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:49,930
- Single, huh?
- Oh, uh...
385
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:54,377
Once they take this catheter out,
why don't I take you out?
386
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,817
It turns out they were lying
about loving my chili.
387
00:16:03,508 --> 00:16:07,007
And even the bus stopped working for me.
388
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,047
Here you go. Enjoy.
389
00:16:09,048 --> 00:16:10,167
Thank you!
390
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:15,547
I knew it.
391
00:16:15,548 --> 00:16:19,048
Bow, just admit...
You are no better than me.
392
00:16:20,048 --> 00:16:22,167
I'm not.
393
00:16:22,168 --> 00:16:23,617
We're both terrible people.
394
00:16:23,642 --> 00:16:25,247
Well, speak for yourself.
395
00:16:25,248 --> 00:16:27,922
Do whatever you want
for Devante's birthday party.
396
00:16:27,947 --> 00:16:31,377
I don't... I don't have
a leg to stand on.
397
00:16:33,298 --> 00:16:36,247
What? I-I...
398
00:16:45,168 --> 00:16:46,297
- Got to hold it?
- Yep.
399
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:49,007
- There we go.
- Uhhh...
400
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,457
Ooh!
401
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:54,298
This is gonna save us literally
hundreds of gallons a year.
402
00:16:54,323 --> 00:16:56,657
Aww... That's nice.
403
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,454
You guys finally found the perfect thing
404
00:16:58,479 --> 00:16:59,696
to put all your ideas in.
405
00:16:59,721 --> 00:17:04,090
Jack, you want to come with us
to test-drive an Escalade
406
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,300
tonight after dinner?
407
00:17:05,301 --> 00:17:07,550
I'm starting to think
I need more elbow room
408
00:17:07,551 --> 00:17:10,260
and off-roading capabilities.
409
00:17:10,261 --> 00:17:11,470
- Off... Off-roading?
- Mm.
410
00:17:11,471 --> 00:17:14,260
Grandma, that car gets
like 14 miles per gallon.
411
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:17,510
Jack, after 400 years of suffering,
412
00:17:17,511 --> 00:17:19,630
don't you think Black people
have a right
413
00:17:19,631 --> 00:17:22,590
to enjoy the fruits of their labor?
414
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:24,760
And now we're supposed
to spend more time
415
00:17:24,761 --> 00:17:26,840
cleaning up messes we didn't make?
416
00:17:26,841 --> 00:17:32,050
Does that sound right to you...
as a strong Black man?
417
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,300
Say no more.
418
00:17:33,301 --> 00:17:36,220
Sorry, Junior, but this
strong Black man's
419
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,340
going with his grandma.
420
00:17:37,341 --> 00:17:38,829
- Let's ride dirty.
- Mm-hmm.
421
00:17:38,854 --> 00:17:41,300
- For my brothas!
- That's it, baby!
422
00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:42,470
Oh, hey, Grandma.
423
00:17:42,471 --> 00:17:44,260
On our way there, can we both litter?
424
00:17:44,261 --> 00:17:47,841
Oh... absolutely.
425
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,510
Ha! And then there was one.
426
00:17:51,511 --> 00:17:53,300
- Hey, babe?
- ...will return after these messages.
427
00:17:56,181 --> 00:17:58,260
What were you watching?
428
00:17:58,261 --> 00:17:59,470
"Sixteen Candles."
429
00:17:59,471 --> 00:18:02,420
- Oh, you mean the movie...
- Ohh.
430
00:18:02,421 --> 00:18:04,380
...where they play the gong
431
00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:07,380
every time the Asian character enters?
432
00:18:07,381 --> 00:18:08,590
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
433
00:18:08,591 --> 00:18:12,726
And that other guy just gave
his drunk girlfriend to a nerd.
434
00:18:12,751 --> 00:18:14,510
It's horrible!
435
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:18,130
I loved this movie when I was a kid.
436
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,686
It was the first time I saw a story
437
00:18:19,711 --> 00:18:22,036
about an awkward teenage girl
that was like me.
438
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,106
Oh.
439
00:18:23,131 --> 00:18:25,970
I just don't feel ready to give it up.
440
00:18:25,971 --> 00:18:28,220
Ugh! I'm a monster!
441
00:18:28,221 --> 00:18:31,220
- Hey, hey, hey, babe.
- Mnh?
442
00:18:31,221 --> 00:18:32,550
I hate this.
443
00:18:32,551 --> 00:18:34,713
I just wanted to knock you down a peg.
444
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:38,158
I didn't... I didn't mean to break you.
445
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:40,510
You didn't break me.
446
00:18:40,511 --> 00:18:42,685
It was that mom at the park
447
00:18:42,709 --> 00:18:44,630
talking about plastic.
448
00:18:44,631 --> 00:18:47,031
And the thought of all those
parents coming over here
449
00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:49,867
to Devante's birthday party
and judging me
450
00:18:49,892 --> 00:18:52,380
because of the water pistols
and the ponies.
451
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,970
So you know what I did?
452
00:18:53,971 --> 00:18:56,033
- I judged you.
- Hmm.
453
00:18:56,058 --> 00:18:58,860
I made you feel bad
to make myself feel better,
454
00:18:58,885 --> 00:19:02,975
and for that... I am sorry, my husband.
455
00:19:02,999 --> 00:19:04,128
I am sorry.
456
00:19:04,129 --> 00:19:06,208
You know what, my wife?
457
00:19:06,209 --> 00:19:08,168
You're still a better person than me.
458
00:19:08,169 --> 00:19:10,208
- You don't have to say that.
- No, it's true, babe.
459
00:19:10,209 --> 00:19:12,723
You are the moral compass of our family,
460
00:19:12,748 --> 00:19:16,328
and I need you to be that for
all of us, especially for me.
461
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:17,850
It's why we work.
462
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:29,088
So you're saying that even
if I drive my big truck to work,
463
00:19:29,089 --> 00:19:30,248
I'm still better than you?
464
00:19:30,249 --> 00:19:32,651
That's exactly what I'm saying.
465
00:19:32,676 --> 00:19:33,948
What if I go to the drive-thru
466
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,630
and order something with bacon on it?
467
00:19:35,655 --> 00:19:36,668
Still better.
468
00:19:36,693 --> 00:19:40,281
What if I swerve close
to a cyclist just to scare them?
469
00:19:40,306 --> 00:19:42,265
Now you're getting on my level.
470
00:19:42,266 --> 00:19:43,925
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
471
00:19:43,926 --> 00:19:45,194
I've done it a few times.
472
00:19:48,415 --> 00:19:50,876
That was the best.
473
00:19:50,901 --> 00:19:52,869
We had to stop for gas three times.
474
00:19:52,894 --> 00:19:54,763
Yeah. The coolest part was passing by
475
00:19:54,764 --> 00:19:57,347
all those people we could've
picked up but didn't.
476
00:19:57,372 --> 00:19:59,269
Living our best lives, huh, baby?
477
00:19:59,294 --> 00:20:01,550
- Mm-hmm.
- If it were up to Junior,
478
00:20:01,597 --> 00:20:04,596
he would have us get out
and push our way home.
479
00:20:04,597 --> 00:20:07,346
You know what? I'm out, Grandma.
480
00:20:07,347 --> 00:20:08,516
You win.
481
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,436
No one is gonna change your mind.
482
00:20:11,437 --> 00:20:12,596
And maybe you're right.
483
00:20:12,597 --> 00:20:15,556
Maybe I should start living like you...
484
00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:18,755
in the moment with no concern
485
00:20:18,780 --> 00:20:21,346
for the next generation's future.
486
00:20:21,347 --> 00:20:24,016
Here. Keep an eye on your grandson.
487
00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:28,097
Come on, guys, let's go throw some
batteries in the regular trash!
488
00:20:33,227 --> 00:20:35,016
That guy, huh?
489
00:20:36,057 --> 00:20:37,187
Ooh.
490
00:20:38,187 --> 00:20:39,897
Don't look at me like that.
491
00:20:40,517 --> 00:20:42,729
Of course I want a nice planet
492
00:20:42,754 --> 00:20:44,588
for the next generation to live on,
493
00:20:44,613 --> 00:20:49,556
but don't I deserve to enjoy
my hard-earned freedoms?
494
00:20:49,557 --> 00:20:53,186
Ohh... you got me there, now.
495
00:20:53,187 --> 00:20:55,346
I'm being selfish.
496
00:20:55,347 --> 00:20:57,306
Okay, Devante.
497
00:20:57,307 --> 00:20:59,148
I'm gonna do better for you.
498
00:20:59,173 --> 00:21:02,972
I'm gonna even start turning
my car off when I get home.
499
00:21:02,997 --> 00:21:05,346
I don't need the heater
running all night.
500
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:07,519
But I can take those five minutes
501
00:21:07,544 --> 00:21:09,226
and warm it up in the morning.
502
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,246
How 'bout that?
503
00:21:10,271 --> 00:21:12,679
What about the plastic bags,
504
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:14,306
Grandma Ruby?
505
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,436
Don't push it, Junior!
506
00:21:18,122 --> 00:21:23,122
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
36578
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
