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1
00:00:42,719 --> 00:00:44,219
Look, Matt. For some reason--
2
00:00:44,719 --> 00:00:46,219
I don't completely understand it,
3
00:00:46,719 --> 00:00:47,719
but California women
4
00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:50,719
have a higher sex drive
than regular women.
5
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,719
Oh, it's because they eat pink tofu
6
00:00:54,219 --> 00:00:56,219
and alfalfa sprouts and omelets.
7
00:00:56,219 --> 00:00:56,719
No!
8
00:00:57,219 --> 00:00:58,719
Yeah. I know!
9
00:00:58,719 --> 00:01:01,719
Look, I guarantee you,
once we get to LA,
10
00:01:02,219 --> 00:01:03,719
the least of our problems
11
00:01:04,219 --> 00:01:06,219
is gonna be finding beautiful women.
12
00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:07,719
Oh, my God!
13
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,719
It's gonna be great!
14
00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:11,719
Look, classic California legs.
15
00:01:11,719 --> 00:01:13,219
A ficanshe palm!
16
00:01:13,719 --> 00:01:15,219
Shut up, Matt.
17
00:01:15,219 --> 00:01:17,719
We're not going there
for the trees, OK?
18
00:01:18,219 --> 00:01:21,219
We might be with a different woman
19
00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:22,719
every single night.
20
00:01:22,719 --> 00:01:24,719
I hope you're ready, pal.
21
00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:26,219
I'm ready.
22
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:28,719
Oh, my God. Look at her.
23
00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:30,719
I get her. She's mine.
24
00:01:30,719 --> 00:01:33,219
My name's Matt. This is Eddie.
25
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,719
Let me do the talking.
26
00:01:35,719 --> 00:01:37,719
I'd like to help her.
27
00:01:37,719 --> 00:01:39,719
What's she wearing?
28
00:01:39,719 --> 00:01:40,719
Are those shorts?
29
00:01:41,219 --> 00:01:42,219
Pants?
30
00:01:42,219 --> 00:01:43,719
Spray paint!
31
00:01:43,719 --> 00:01:46,719
Look, they're everywhere!
32
00:01:46,719 --> 00:01:48,219
They're growing.
33
00:01:48,719 --> 00:01:50,719
A mermaid!
34
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:52,219
She is amazing.
35
00:01:52,219 --> 00:01:54,219
LA is the place!
36
00:01:54,219 --> 00:01:56,219
Yeah. Goodbye, Ohio.
37
00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:59,719
California, here we come!
38
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,719
I'm a girl watcher
39
00:02:17,719 --> 00:02:19,719
I'm a girl watcher
40
00:02:20,219 --> 00:02:22,219
Watching girls go by
41
00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:25,219
My, my, my
42
00:02:25,219 --> 00:02:27,719
I'm a girl watcher
43
00:02:27,719 --> 00:02:30,219
I'm a girl watcher
44
00:02:30,219 --> 00:02:32,719
Here comes one now
45
00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:36,219
Mmm mmm mmm
46
00:02:36,219 --> 00:02:38,719
I was just a boy
47
00:02:38,719 --> 00:02:41,219
When I threw away my toys
48
00:02:41,719 --> 00:02:46,219
I found a new pastime to dwell on
49
00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:51,719
Whenever I detect
members of the other sex
50
00:02:51,719 --> 00:02:55,719
I play the game I do so well on
51
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:58,219
I'm a girl watcher
52
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,219
I'm a girl watcher
53
00:03:00,719 --> 00:03:02,719
Watching girls go by
54
00:03:03,219 --> 00:03:05,719
My, my, my
55
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,219
I'm a girl watcher
56
00:03:08,219 --> 00:03:10,719
I'm a girl watcher
57
00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:12,719
Here comes one now
58
00:03:14,719 --> 00:03:16,219
How does my hair look?
59
00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:17,719
What?
60
00:03:18,219 --> 00:03:20,219
My hair. How does it look?
61
00:03:20,719 --> 00:03:22,219
Who cares?
62
00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:23,219
What?
63
00:03:23,719 --> 00:03:26,719
Why do you care what
your hair looks like?
64
00:03:27,219 --> 00:03:29,219
I just care.
65
00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:31,219
You trying to look pretty for me?
66
00:03:31,719 --> 00:03:34,719
I just like it when my hair looks good.
67
00:03:35,219 --> 00:03:38,219
There is nobody to impress out here.
68
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:40,219
I'm not trying to impress anybody.
69
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:43,719
I want to feel better about myself.
70
00:03:43,719 --> 00:03:45,719
So how does it look?
71
00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:48,219
Are you depressed?
72
00:03:48,219 --> 00:03:49,219
What?
73
00:03:49,219 --> 00:03:52,219
Why don't you feel good about yourself?
74
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:54,219
I feel fine.
75
00:03:54,219 --> 00:03:56,219
Why do you need to look better?
76
00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:59,219
I don't need my hair to look better
77
00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:00,719
to feel fine.
78
00:04:01,219 --> 00:04:04,219
I just like when my hair looks good.
79
00:04:04,219 --> 00:04:06,219
If it makes you feel better
80
00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:09,719
to know my hair is a mess...
81
00:04:09,719 --> 00:04:11,219
there, you happy?
82
00:04:11,219 --> 00:04:12,719
What?
83
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,219
You call that a mess?
84
00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:18,219
Here.
85
00:04:18,219 --> 00:04:20,219
Hey, cut it out, man.
86
00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:21,719
That's a mess.
87
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,719
Hey, cut it out!
88
00:04:29,719 --> 00:04:30,719
Aah!
89
00:04:30,719 --> 00:04:32,719
There's a car!
90
00:04:32,719 --> 00:04:33,719
Aah!
91
00:04:34,719 --> 00:04:35,719
Aah!
92
00:04:59,219 --> 00:05:03,219
Goddamn it, man.
Look what you've done!
93
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:08,219
Eddie, are you OK?
94
00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:12,719
I'm fine, man, but my car,
goddamn it!
95
00:05:12,719 --> 00:05:15,719
Goddman it.
96
00:05:15,719 --> 00:05:18,219
How are you?
97
00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:20,219
Where are my glasses?
98
00:05:29,219 --> 00:05:31,719
Yeah, I'm OK.
99
00:05:32,219 --> 00:05:34,219
I hope I'm not bleeding internally.
100
00:05:34,719 --> 00:05:37,219
You're paying for the damage to this car.
101
00:05:37,719 --> 00:05:39,219
You're paying!
102
00:05:40,719 --> 00:05:42,219
Oh, no.
103
00:05:42,719 --> 00:05:45,219
My God, I think you killed somebody.
104
00:05:45,719 --> 00:05:47,219
I killed somebody?
105
00:05:47,719 --> 00:05:49,719
You were driving like an idiot.
106
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:52,219
You knocked my glasses off.
107
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,719
What are we gonna do, man?
108
00:05:54,719 --> 00:05:56,719
You go out there!
109
00:05:56,719 --> 00:05:58,719
You go out there and look!
110
00:05:59,219 --> 00:05:59,719
No.
111
00:06:00,219 --> 00:06:01,719
What if he's dead?
112
00:06:02,219 --> 00:06:04,719
I've never seen a dead person.
113
00:06:04,719 --> 00:06:05,719
You were driving!
114
00:06:06,219 --> 00:06:08,219
It's your car, your license plate.
115
00:06:08,719 --> 00:06:10,719
The driver is always responsible.
116
00:06:10,719 --> 00:06:12,719
I'll pay for the damages.
117
00:06:12,719 --> 00:06:14,219
You go look.
118
00:06:14,219 --> 00:06:15,719
Go on.
119
00:06:15,719 --> 00:06:17,219
I'll wait here.
120
00:06:17,219 --> 00:06:18,219
We'll both go.
121
00:06:18,719 --> 00:06:20,719
We'll both go!
122
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,219
Oh, my God.
123
00:06:28,219 --> 00:06:30,219
Come on.
124
00:06:38,719 --> 00:06:41,719
I hope he's not dead in there.
125
00:06:41,719 --> 00:06:42,719
Come on.
126
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:45,219
This is just great.
127
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:04,719
You shake my nerves
and you rattle my brain
128
00:07:04,719 --> 00:07:06,219
Too much love drives a man insane
129
00:07:06,219 --> 00:07:07,219
You broke my will
130
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,219
But what a thrill
131
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,719
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!
132
00:07:12,219 --> 00:07:14,719
I laughed at love 'cause
I thought it was funny
133
00:07:14,719 --> 00:07:17,719
You came along and moved me, honey
134
00:07:17,719 --> 00:07:20,219
I changed my mind, this love is fine
135
00:07:20,719 --> 00:07:23,719
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!
136
00:07:23,719 --> 00:07:25,219
Kiss me, baby...
137
00:07:25,719 --> 00:07:26,719
Aw, hell.
138
00:07:27,219 --> 00:07:29,719
Oh, yo, feels good
139
00:07:30,219 --> 00:07:31,719
Hold me, baby
140
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:35,719
Well, I want to love you
like a lover should
141
00:07:35,719 --> 00:07:37,219
You're mine
142
00:07:37,719 --> 00:07:38,719
So kind
143
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:39,719
I'm gonna tell the world
144
00:07:40,219 --> 00:07:41,719
That you're mine, mine, mine, mine
145
00:07:41,719 --> 00:07:44,719
I chew my nails and
I twiddle my thumbs
146
00:07:44,719 --> 00:07:47,719
I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun
147
00:07:47,719 --> 00:07:48,719
Come on, baby
148
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,719
You're drivin' me crazy
149
00:07:51,219 --> 00:07:53,719
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!
150
00:08:03,219 --> 00:08:04,719
Are you hurt?
151
00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:05,969
No.
152
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:07,719
Are you hurt?
153
00:08:08,219 --> 00:08:09,719
She already said no.
154
00:08:10,219 --> 00:08:14,719
Uh, my name Eddie.
This is my friend Matt.
155
00:08:14,719 --> 00:08:18,719
I think this might have
been partially our fault.
156
00:08:18,719 --> 00:08:20,219
Partially?
157
00:08:20,219 --> 00:08:22,219
Yeah.
158
00:08:24,219 --> 00:08:26,219
Need some help?
159
00:08:26,219 --> 00:08:28,719
Looks like your trunk is stuck, huh?
160
00:08:29,219 --> 00:08:31,719
This is the engine.
161
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:34,719
Yeah, stupid.
162
00:08:36,219 --> 00:08:37,719
This is great.
163
00:08:37,719 --> 00:08:39,719
This is just great.
164
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:42,219
It probably looks worse than it is.
165
00:08:42,219 --> 00:08:45,719
No, it's probably worse than it looks.
166
00:08:45,719 --> 00:08:48,219
Why don't we get these cars apart?
167
00:08:48,219 --> 00:08:52,219
Don't touch my car.
You've done enough already.
168
00:08:52,219 --> 00:08:54,719
Isn't there a phone around here?
169
00:08:55,219 --> 00:08:58,219
Not for at least 1 1/2 hours that way.
170
00:08:58,719 --> 00:08:59,719
Great.
171
00:08:59,719 --> 00:09:01,719
What about that direction.
172
00:09:02,219 --> 00:09:02,719
Nothing.
173
00:09:03,219 --> 00:09:05,219
What were you doing in there?
174
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:06,719
What?
175
00:09:06,719 --> 00:09:09,219
You were all over the damn road!
176
00:09:09,219 --> 00:09:11,719
We weren't doing anything gay!
177
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:14,719
My God!
178
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:16,719
I've gone completely blank!
179
00:09:16,719 --> 00:09:19,219
I can't remember the accident!
180
00:09:19,219 --> 00:09:21,219
I think I'm having amnesia.
181
00:09:21,719 --> 00:09:24,719
What were we doing
right before we hit?
182
00:09:24,719 --> 00:09:27,719
Oh, yeah.
We were messing up our hair!
183
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,219
Oh, no.
184
00:09:29,219 --> 00:09:30,719
You were messing my hair.
185
00:09:31,219 --> 00:09:35,219
I was trying to get you
to stop, remember?
186
00:09:35,219 --> 00:09:37,219
Can you believe it?
187
00:09:37,719 --> 00:09:39,719
It's like the luckiest unlucky thing
188
00:09:40,219 --> 00:09:43,719
that's ever happened to us, man.
189
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:47,219
She's from California!
190
00:09:47,219 --> 00:09:50,219
California has so many beautful babes,
191
00:09:50,719 --> 00:09:54,219
they're spilling out into
the neighboring states!
192
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,219
I get her first.
193
00:09:56,719 --> 00:09:58,219
I drove the car.
194
00:09:58,719 --> 00:10:00,719
If it wasn't for me,
195
00:10:00,719 --> 00:10:03,219
we wouldn't have been in this situation.
196
00:10:03,719 --> 00:10:05,219
I should get her first.
197
00:10:05,719 --> 00:10:07,719
It was my car.
198
00:10:07,719 --> 00:10:09,719
It was my fault.
199
00:10:09,719 --> 00:10:11,219
Forget about it, pal.
200
00:10:11,719 --> 00:10:13,719
She's mine. I get her first.
201
00:10:14,219 --> 00:10:16,219
I see your point.
202
00:10:16,219 --> 00:10:18,219
Normally, I'd agree,
203
00:10:18,219 --> 00:10:19,219
however in this instance--
204
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:21,219
heads!
205
00:10:22,219 --> 00:10:24,719
Two out of three.
206
00:10:27,219 --> 00:10:31,219
You know, I've got to be
in New York by Monday
207
00:10:31,719 --> 00:10:34,719
or I'm going to miss an
important appointment.
208
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,219
Uh, what's your name?
209
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:41,719
My name is Tuesday.
210
00:10:47,719 --> 00:10:50,219
This thing had better start.
211
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:55,219
[ engine starts ]
212
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:58,219
Told you it looked worse than it was.
213
00:10:58,719 --> 00:11:00,719
You're going to New York?
214
00:11:00,719 --> 00:11:02,219
Yep.
215
00:11:02,219 --> 00:11:04,219
My uncle lives in New York.
216
00:11:04,719 --> 00:11:07,219
Maybe you've heard of him,
my Uncle Bernie.
217
00:11:07,719 --> 00:11:10,219
He's a lawyer, Bernie the attorney.
218
00:11:10,719 --> 00:11:13,219
He's got a brother, my Uncle Sol.
219
00:11:13,719 --> 00:11:16,719
He came to Ohio. Him and Bernie came...
220
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,719
they're both kind of fat.
221
00:11:19,719 --> 00:11:20,219
Not really fat,
222
00:11:20,719 --> 00:11:22,219
it's more of a substance
223
00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:25,219
compared to a mess divided by air.
224
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,219
It's hard to understand.
225
00:11:27,719 --> 00:11:29,719
He explained it to me once.
226
00:11:30,219 --> 00:11:31,719
See, your intake of food
227
00:11:31,719 --> 00:11:34,219
is different than your outtake.
228
00:11:41,719 --> 00:11:42,719
How you doin'?
229
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:45,719
Is anybody hurt?
230
00:11:45,719 --> 00:11:47,719
No. Everybody's fine.
231
00:11:47,719 --> 00:11:50,219
Can I give somebody a lift?
232
00:11:50,719 --> 00:11:54,219
No.
We got everything under control.
233
00:11:56,219 --> 00:11:57,299
Ha ha ha!
234
00:12:15,219 --> 00:12:16,719
[ tires screech ]
235
00:12:31,719 --> 00:12:35,219
Well, I hope you guys have insurance.
236
00:12:35,219 --> 00:12:36,219
Farm state.
237
00:12:36,719 --> 00:12:39,719
Thank God for small wonders.
238
00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:41,719
We should head
239
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,219
to the nearest town,
240
00:12:43,219 --> 00:12:45,219
file a police report,
241
00:12:45,219 --> 00:12:47,719
settle this thing and move on.
242
00:12:48,219 --> 00:12:50,719
I'm supposed to be in New York...
243
00:12:50,719 --> 00:12:54,719
We should head to the nearest town
244
00:12:54,719 --> 00:12:56,719
and file a police report.
245
00:12:57,219 --> 00:12:59,719
We should head to the nearest town
246
00:13:00,219 --> 00:13:02,219
and file a police report.
247
00:13:02,219 --> 00:13:03,719
We should head...
248
00:13:04,719 --> 00:13:06,719
Well?
249
00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:09,719
Well?
250
00:13:11,719 --> 00:13:14,219
Well, is that satisfactory to you?
251
00:13:14,219 --> 00:13:15,719
Uh-huh.
252
00:13:16,219 --> 00:13:17,219
Good idea.
253
00:13:17,719 --> 00:13:19,719
So just meet me there, OK?
254
00:13:20,219 --> 00:13:21,719
Where?
255
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,219
Just follow me, all right?
256
00:13:25,719 --> 00:13:26,719
Yeah.
257
00:13:37,719 --> 00:13:40,219
Well, you blew our chance, man.
258
00:13:40,719 --> 00:13:42,219
What do you mean?
259
00:13:42,219 --> 00:13:45,219
She's the most beautiful
girl we've ever seen.
260
00:13:45,719 --> 00:13:49,219
Now, we're on our way
to some stupid town
261
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:50,719
to fill out insurance forms.
262
00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:52,719
Way to go, Matt.
263
00:13:53,219 --> 00:13:54,719
Why is that my fault?
264
00:13:55,219 --> 00:13:58,719
If I was here alone,
we'd be doing it now.
265
00:13:59,219 --> 00:13:59,719
Eddie--
266
00:14:00,219 --> 00:14:03,219
Right in the middle of the road--
267
00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:05,219
on the road, off the road,
268
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,719
in the trunk, you name it.
269
00:14:08,219 --> 00:14:09,719
Edward! The car won't start.
270
00:14:10,219 --> 00:14:12,719
What do you mean, the car won't start?
271
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,219
Great.
272
00:14:14,719 --> 00:14:18,719
[ engine sputters ]
273
00:14:21,719 --> 00:14:22,469
No.
274
00:14:23,719 --> 00:14:26,219
No, Eddie...
275
00:14:28,719 --> 00:14:31,219
Uh, something's wrong with our car--
276
00:14:31,719 --> 00:14:34,219
You have to give me a ride--
277
00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:36,719
Your car started a minute ago.
278
00:14:37,219 --> 00:14:39,219
It won't start now, genius.
279
00:14:39,219 --> 00:14:42,219
Let me take a look at it.
280
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,219
Of course.
281
00:14:48,219 --> 00:14:50,219
I must be doing something wrong
282
00:14:50,719 --> 00:14:52,219
because I'm a woman.
283
00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:55,219
Not having a penis makes it impossible
284
00:14:55,719 --> 00:14:57,719
for me to start this car.
285
00:14:58,219 --> 00:15:00,219
She got you there, Ed.
286
00:15:04,219 --> 00:15:06,219
Let me check the engine.
287
00:15:06,719 --> 00:15:08,219
Oh, absolutely.
288
00:15:11,219 --> 00:15:13,219
Eddie...
289
00:15:13,719 --> 00:15:15,219
Well, here's your problem.
290
00:15:15,719 --> 00:15:18,219
You got no engine.
291
00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:20,219
Eddie...
292
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:23,219
The engine's in the back, remember?
293
00:15:24,719 --> 00:15:25,719
Duh...
294
00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:29,219
It was a joke, a little joke.
295
00:15:36,719 --> 00:15:39,219
That's jammed pretty tight.
296
00:15:39,219 --> 00:15:40,719
I know it's jammed.
297
00:15:41,219 --> 00:15:42,719
I tried it, remember?
298
00:15:43,219 --> 00:15:45,219
Well, if I could open it,
299
00:15:45,719 --> 00:15:47,219
I could fix it.
300
00:15:47,719 --> 00:15:49,719
The thing's never gonna open, see?
301
00:15:50,219 --> 00:15:52,719
If it was open, you could fix it,
302
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,219
no problem?
303
00:15:54,719 --> 00:15:55,719
Yeah. No problem.
304
00:15:56,219 --> 00:15:57,219
Uh-huh. Sure.
305
00:15:57,719 --> 00:15:58,719
Got it.
306
00:16:03,219 --> 00:16:05,719
How did you do that?
307
00:16:06,219 --> 00:16:07,719
Go ahead, big guy.
308
00:16:08,219 --> 00:16:09,219
Huh?
309
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:10,719
Fix it.
310
00:16:11,219 --> 00:16:12,719
No problem, remember?
311
00:16:15,719 --> 00:16:18,219
All right.
312
00:16:18,219 --> 00:16:19,719
This is amazing.
313
00:16:20,219 --> 00:16:23,219
I mean, why do men
look into an engine
314
00:16:23,719 --> 00:16:25,219
and expect innate automotive knowledge
315
00:16:25,719 --> 00:16:27,219
to come spewing forth?
316
00:16:27,719 --> 00:16:28,719
Don't worry, darling.
317
00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:31,719
Your masculinity is still safe.
318
00:16:35,219 --> 00:16:37,719
She wants me. She wants me.
319
00:16:38,219 --> 00:16:39,719
What are you talking about?
320
00:16:40,219 --> 00:16:42,219
That was practically a proposition, pal.
321
00:16:42,719 --> 00:16:44,219
I can read women.
322
00:16:44,719 --> 00:16:45,719
You're nuts.
323
00:16:46,219 --> 00:16:47,719
She called me masculine!
324
00:16:48,219 --> 00:16:50,719
Women don't toss that
kind of word around
325
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,719
unless they're trying
to tell you something.
326
00:16:54,219 --> 00:16:56,219
Check it out.
327
00:16:56,219 --> 00:16:58,219
So, uh, I, uh...
328
00:16:58,219 --> 00:16:59,719
Look, I think
329
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:04,719
we should move these cars
off to the side of the road,
330
00:17:05,219 --> 00:17:08,719
so another car doesn't plow into them.
331
00:17:16,219 --> 00:17:17,719
I'll get it.
332
00:17:18,219 --> 00:17:20,219
I got it. Thank you.
333
00:18:35,719 --> 00:18:37,719
Come here, boys.
334
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,219
Come on.
335
00:18:42,219 --> 00:18:44,719
Sit over here.
336
00:19:04,719 --> 00:19:06,219
Guys...
337
00:19:07,219 --> 00:19:10,219
wouldn't you agree that...
338
00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:13,719
fate works...
339
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:17,719
in a very mysterious way?
340
00:19:19,219 --> 00:19:20,719
Definitely.
341
00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:23,219
Yeah.
342
00:19:23,719 --> 00:19:25,719
I mean...
343
00:19:25,719 --> 00:19:28,719
here we are,
344
00:19:29,219 --> 00:19:34,219
in the middle of nowhere
345
00:19:34,719 --> 00:19:39,219
with nobody else around.
346
00:19:42,719 --> 00:19:45,219
I agree...
347
00:19:45,219 --> 00:19:49,719
I think we ought to make the most
348
00:19:49,719 --> 00:19:55,719
of this highly unusual situation.
349
00:19:57,219 --> 00:19:59,219
I agree.
350
00:20:00,719 --> 00:20:06,719
In order to make the most
of this situation...
351
00:20:08,719 --> 00:20:13,219
I think we should all be
honest with each other.
352
00:20:13,719 --> 00:20:17,219
Completely honest with each other.
353
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,219
I mean...
354
00:20:22,719 --> 00:20:28,219
that way we know exactly
what to expect from each other.
355
00:20:33,719 --> 00:20:34,439
Now...
356
00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:39,219
I have the feeling...
357
00:20:39,219 --> 00:20:42,219
that you both expect
more from this encounter
358
00:20:42,219 --> 00:20:48,219
than just an exchange of
driver's license numbers
359
00:20:48,719 --> 00:20:51,219
and insurance companies...
360
00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:53,219
am I right?
361
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:54,469
Yeah.
362
00:20:56,219 --> 00:20:58,219
I thought so.
363
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:07,219
I'm a lesbian.
364
00:21:07,219 --> 00:21:09,219
- Ugh!
- Aah!
365
00:21:09,219 --> 00:21:10,719
What?
366
00:21:11,219 --> 00:21:12,719
You're a lesbian?
367
00:21:12,719 --> 00:21:14,219
Um-hmm.
368
00:21:14,719 --> 00:21:15,719
Two girls?
369
00:21:16,219 --> 00:21:17,219
Two girls doing it?
370
00:21:17,719 --> 00:21:20,219
Yes. Like in two girls doing it.
371
00:21:20,219 --> 00:21:22,219
I'll save you the energy
372
00:21:22,719 --> 00:21:25,219
it would take to get underneath my dress.
373
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,219
You're a lesbo?
374
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:29,219
That's lesbian, not lesbo.
375
00:21:29,719 --> 00:21:31,219
But why?
376
00:21:31,219 --> 00:21:33,719
Why are you a heterosexual?
377
00:21:35,719 --> 00:21:37,719
'Cause we dig chicks.
378
00:21:38,219 --> 00:21:39,719
We like girls.
379
00:21:39,719 --> 00:21:42,219
So do I.
380
00:21:51,219 --> 00:21:53,219
This is just great.
381
00:21:53,219 --> 00:21:56,219
We're stranded in the middle of nowhere
382
00:21:56,219 --> 00:21:59,219
with the most beautiful
woman we've ever seen,
383
00:21:59,219 --> 00:22:01,219
and she's a lesbian!
384
00:22:01,219 --> 00:22:04,219
Story of my life in a nutshell.
385
00:22:04,219 --> 00:22:06,719
Don't be so naive. Calm down.
386
00:22:06,719 --> 00:22:08,219
Look at her.
387
00:22:08,219 --> 00:22:11,219
That look like a lesbo to you?
388
00:22:11,219 --> 00:22:12,719
Take Miss Hemmelkrouse.
389
00:22:13,219 --> 00:22:14,719
Ooh, hated that gym class!
390
00:22:15,219 --> 00:22:16,719
That was a lesbo.
391
00:22:16,719 --> 00:22:20,219
A real diesel engine
if ever there was one.
392
00:22:20,219 --> 00:22:21,719
Remember?
393
00:22:21,719 --> 00:22:24,719
How could I forget
that pockmarked face?
394
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:26,719
And that crew cut.
395
00:22:26,719 --> 00:22:28,719
That's a dyke, man.
396
00:22:28,719 --> 00:22:31,219
This one just thinks she's one.
397
00:22:31,219 --> 00:22:32,719
You're nuts.
398
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,719
Matt, lesbianism is just state of mind.
399
00:22:36,219 --> 00:22:38,719
She hasn't been with
the right guy yet.
400
00:22:38,719 --> 00:22:40,219
You think so?
401
00:22:40,219 --> 00:22:42,719
I know so. I know women.
402
00:22:43,219 --> 00:22:44,719
I don't know, Eddie.
403
00:22:45,219 --> 00:22:46,719
Trust me, man. She's ours.
404
00:22:47,219 --> 00:22:49,719
All she needs is a little guidance.
405
00:22:50,219 --> 00:22:51,719
She's a looker.
406
00:22:51,719 --> 00:22:53,219
That's a woman.
407
00:22:53,219 --> 00:22:58,219
What a woman needs is a man.
408
00:23:03,219 --> 00:23:05,719
I'm hungry. You hungry?
409
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:50,719
I never thought I could love a man
410
00:23:50,719 --> 00:23:53,219
until I met you, Eddie.
411
00:23:54,219 --> 00:23:58,219
Kiss me, Eddie.
412
00:23:58,719 --> 00:24:01,719
Oh, please, kiss me.
413
00:24:04,219 --> 00:24:05,219
Ooh.
414
00:24:06,219 --> 00:24:07,219
Ooh.
415
00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:19,219
You're a real man, Eddie.
416
00:24:19,219 --> 00:24:23,719
Just what I've always needed.
417
00:24:23,719 --> 00:24:24,719
Ooh.
418
00:24:25,719 --> 00:24:27,219
Ooh.
419
00:24:27,219 --> 00:24:28,219
Mmm.
420
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:34,719
OK, let's see what we've got here.
421
00:24:34,719 --> 00:24:37,719
We've got two oranges
422
00:24:38,219 --> 00:24:39,719
and a kiwi...
423
00:24:39,719 --> 00:24:41,219
some pineapple juice.
424
00:24:41,219 --> 00:24:43,719
Looks like a turd in need of a shave.
425
00:24:43,719 --> 00:24:45,719
I'll eat it.
426
00:24:45,719 --> 00:24:47,219
I'll take this.
427
00:24:47,719 --> 00:24:48,719
From the Sunshine State.
428
00:24:49,219 --> 00:24:50,719
Florida's the Shunshine State.
429
00:24:50,719 --> 00:24:52,219
That's from California.
430
00:24:52,219 --> 00:24:53,719
I know that.
431
00:24:53,719 --> 00:24:56,219
How long since the last far!
432
00:24:56,219 --> 00:24:57,719
About an hour
433
00:24:57,719 --> 00:25:01,219
I'll never make it to New York on time.
434
00:25:01,719 --> 00:25:04,719
I got an assignment
that begins on Monday.
435
00:25:04,719 --> 00:25:06,719
What do you do, anyway?
436
00:25:06,719 --> 00:25:09,219
I'm a photographer.
437
00:25:09,219 --> 00:25:10,719
Yeah? That's cool.
438
00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:13,719
It won't be if I miss this assignment.
439
00:25:13,719 --> 00:25:16,219
A friend got me the job.
440
00:25:16,219 --> 00:25:17,719
She's a model.
441
00:25:17,719 --> 00:25:19,219
What's her name?
442
00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:20,719
Rachel.
443
00:25:21,219 --> 00:25:22,719
Is she cute?
444
00:25:22,719 --> 00:25:24,219
She's my lover.
445
00:25:24,719 --> 00:25:25,719
[ coughing ]
446
00:25:27,719 --> 00:25:30,219
Oh, my God.
447
00:25:30,219 --> 00:25:32,219
Matt, calm down.
448
00:25:32,219 --> 00:25:33,219
Je-sus!
449
00:25:33,719 --> 00:25:35,219
Cheese sauce?
450
00:25:35,219 --> 00:25:36,219
Huh?
451
00:25:37,219 --> 00:25:40,219
It sounds like you said cheese sauce.
452
00:25:40,719 --> 00:25:41,719
Cheese sauce?
453
00:25:41,719 --> 00:25:43,219
Cheese sauce!
454
00:25:43,219 --> 00:25:44,719
Cheese sauce.
455
00:25:44,719 --> 00:25:46,719
Cheese sauce.
456
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:47,719
Cheese sauce.
457
00:25:47,719 --> 00:25:49,219
Cheese sauce, man!
458
00:25:49,219 --> 00:25:50,719
Je-sus, cheese sauce.
459
00:25:50,719 --> 00:25:53,219
What do you know about that?
460
00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,219
What do you know about that?
461
00:25:55,719 --> 00:25:57,219
Cheese sauce.
462
00:25:57,219 --> 00:25:59,719
That's funny.
463
00:25:59,719 --> 00:26:02,219
Are we out of drinks yet?
464
00:26:02,219 --> 00:26:04,219
Didn't you guys bring anything?
465
00:26:04,719 --> 00:26:05,719
Nothing to drink.
466
00:26:05,719 --> 00:26:08,219
Well, if we get very desperate--
467
00:26:08,219 --> 00:26:10,719
Hold on.
468
00:26:10,719 --> 00:26:12,719
Sauce...
469
00:26:12,719 --> 00:26:15,219
Cheese sauce?
470
00:26:18,719 --> 00:26:21,219
I do have my windshield wiper water.
471
00:26:21,719 --> 00:26:22,719
Ugh!
472
00:26:22,719 --> 00:26:23,719
Yuck-o.
473
00:26:23,719 --> 00:26:27,219
I don't think we'll ever
get that desperate.
474
00:26:29,719 --> 00:26:31,219
Want some?
475
00:26:31,219 --> 00:26:34,219
Look, guys. Look!
476
00:26:41,219 --> 00:26:42,719
Hey!
477
00:26:42,719 --> 00:26:44,219
Hey! Ho!
478
00:26:44,219 --> 00:26:46,219
Excuse me!
479
00:26:46,219 --> 00:26:47,719
Over here!
480
00:26:47,719 --> 00:26:49,219
Hey!
481
00:26:49,219 --> 00:26:50,719
All right!
482
00:26:50,719 --> 00:26:54,219
What did I say?
483
00:26:54,219 --> 00:26:55,719
Yeah.
484
00:26:55,719 --> 00:26:57,219
Come on.
485
00:26:57,219 --> 00:26:58,179
Finally!
486
00:27:02,219 --> 00:27:03,219
Nice.
487
00:27:04,719 --> 00:27:06,219
[ beep beep ]
488
00:27:12,219 --> 00:27:13,719
Well, well, well,
489
00:27:13,719 --> 00:27:17,719
I think this is your lucky day.
490
00:27:18,219 --> 00:27:19,219
Hi--
491
00:27:19,719 --> 00:27:21,719
Let me introduce myself.
492
00:27:21,719 --> 00:27:24,719
My name is Lucky Larry Loopin
493
00:27:24,719 --> 00:27:26,719
of Lucky Larry Loopin Enterprises.
494
00:27:27,219 --> 00:27:28,219
Here you go.
495
00:27:28,219 --> 00:27:30,719
Here's one for you.
496
00:27:30,719 --> 00:27:33,219
I understand what you're saying.
497
00:27:33,219 --> 00:27:35,219
We need a lift.
498
00:27:35,219 --> 00:27:37,219
You need that lift
499
00:27:37,219 --> 00:27:40,219
that makes you feel happier.
500
00:27:40,219 --> 00:27:42,719
We got to go to town.
501
00:27:42,719 --> 00:27:46,219
Here you are in the middle of the desert.
502
00:27:46,219 --> 00:27:49,219
You have no money.
You have no food.
503
00:27:49,219 --> 00:27:51,219
You could die
504
00:27:51,219 --> 00:27:52,219
in the desert.
505
00:27:52,219 --> 00:27:53,719
What would happen?
506
00:27:53,719 --> 00:27:55,719
The police would show up.
507
00:27:55,719 --> 00:27:57,719
They'd see your body.
508
00:27:57,719 --> 00:28:00,219
They'd go, "Look at that body.
509
00:28:00,219 --> 00:28:02,219
"The hair's a mess.
510
00:28:02,219 --> 00:28:04,219
"They've got lint on their clothes
511
00:28:04,719 --> 00:28:07,219
and spinach in their teeth."
512
00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:09,719
I know what you're gonna ask.
513
00:28:09,719 --> 00:28:12,719
"What can you do to help that?
514
00:28:12,719 --> 00:28:14,719
How can you help me?"
515
00:28:14,719 --> 00:28:17,719
OK, I will introduce to you now
516
00:28:17,719 --> 00:28:20,719
the Lucky Larry Loopin Brush Wizard!
517
00:28:20,719 --> 00:28:22,219
Yes, boys and girls!
518
00:28:22,719 --> 00:28:24,719
The Lucky Larry Loopin Brush Wizard.
519
00:28:24,719 --> 00:28:26,719
What can it do?
520
00:28:26,719 --> 00:28:28,719
We need a ride!
521
00:28:28,719 --> 00:28:31,219
What does it do? Brush Wizards?
522
00:28:31,219 --> 00:28:34,219
If you have a wizard that's dusty,
523
00:28:34,219 --> 00:28:36,219
do you brush it?
524
00:28:36,219 --> 00:28:39,219
It's a lint brush,
a toothbrush, a dog brush,
525
00:28:39,219 --> 00:28:41,719
and it's a hairbrush.
526
00:28:42,219 --> 00:28:43,219
He's unbelievable!
527
00:28:43,719 --> 00:28:46,219
I know what you're saying.
528
00:28:46,219 --> 00:28:49,219
"Sure, but a brush that good,
529
00:28:49,719 --> 00:28:53,219
that could cost us
$50, $60, $70, maybe $100!"
530
00:28:53,719 --> 00:28:55,719
Yes, I understand.
531
00:28:55,719 --> 00:28:59,719
Now, how can I afford to give it away
532
00:29:00,219 --> 00:29:02,219
for the lowly price of $29.95?
533
00:29:02,219 --> 00:29:03,719
$29.95!
534
00:29:04,219 --> 00:29:06,219
Who is this guy?
535
00:29:06,719 --> 00:29:08,719
I see what you're doing.
536
00:29:08,719 --> 00:29:10,719
I see what you're saying.
537
00:29:10,719 --> 00:29:12,219
OK, OK!
538
00:29:12,219 --> 00:29:14,719
You beat it out of me.
539
00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:17,719
I'm gonna let you rob it from me.
540
00:29:17,719 --> 00:29:22,219
I'm gonna let you take
this right off my hands
541
00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:24,219
for... are you ready?
542
00:29:24,219 --> 00:29:25,719
$19.95.
543
00:29:26,219 --> 00:29:28,219
Who knows a bargain
544
00:29:28,219 --> 00:29:30,219
when he sees one?
545
00:29:30,219 --> 00:29:32,219
I'll take one!
546
00:29:32,219 --> 00:29:35,219
Sold to the man with a brain!
547
00:29:35,219 --> 00:29:36,719
Here you go.
548
00:29:36,719 --> 00:29:38,719
I don't have any change,
549
00:29:38,719 --> 00:29:40,719
but I know your face.
550
00:29:40,719 --> 00:29:42,719
I'll meet up with you
551
00:29:42,719 --> 00:29:46,219
and give you the nickel back.
552
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:48,219
We need a ride, sir.
553
00:29:48,219 --> 00:29:50,719
Can we please have a ride?
554
00:29:50,719 --> 00:29:52,219
I understand,
555
00:29:52,219 --> 00:29:55,219
but you wouldn't buy a brush!
556
00:29:55,219 --> 00:29:56,719
What?
557
00:29:56,719 --> 00:29:58,719
Hey! Hey, wait up, man.
558
00:29:58,719 --> 00:30:01,219
Look, I'm not kidding.
559
00:30:01,219 --> 00:30:04,719
Will you take us to the nearest town?
560
00:30:04,719 --> 00:30:07,719
The brush has a million and one uses!
561
00:30:07,719 --> 00:30:11,719
I can't take you.
I don't have a license.
562
00:30:11,719 --> 00:30:12,719
What?
563
00:30:12,719 --> 00:30:14,719
That guys is crazy!
564
00:30:14,719 --> 00:30:16,719
Hey, this is serious!
565
00:30:16,719 --> 00:30:18,719
We're stuck here.
566
00:30:18,719 --> 00:30:21,219
Hey, come here!
567
00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:22,719
What a jerk!
568
00:30:22,719 --> 00:30:24,219
I can't believe this!
569
00:30:24,219 --> 00:30:26,719
I can't even believe
570
00:30:26,719 --> 00:30:29,719
this guy buying a brush from him.
571
00:30:29,719 --> 00:30:31,219
Moron!
572
00:30:31,219 --> 00:30:33,219
I felt sorry for him.
573
00:30:37,719 --> 00:30:40,719
Hey, you guys, what are you doing?
574
00:30:40,719 --> 00:30:43,219
Catch it, catch it!
575
00:30:43,219 --> 00:30:46,219
Whoo! Nice!
576
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:47,719
Good. Lovely.
577
00:30:47,719 --> 00:30:49,219
Come on!
578
00:30:49,219 --> 00:30:51,719
Come here, baby, let me tell you now
579
00:30:52,219 --> 00:30:54,219
I know you, baby, you worry me
580
00:30:54,219 --> 00:30:57,219
I'm worried about you, baby
581
00:30:57,219 --> 00:31:00,219
I'm worried about you, baby
582
00:31:00,219 --> 00:31:01,219
I'm worried about you, baby
583
00:31:01,719 --> 00:31:04,719
And I can't hardly sleep at night
584
00:31:10,219 --> 00:31:11,719
Get her, Matt!
585
00:31:12,219 --> 00:31:13,719
Get her!
586
00:31:16,219 --> 00:31:17,719
All right!
587
00:31:17,719 --> 00:31:21,219
I got it! I got it! I got it!
588
00:31:21,219 --> 00:31:22,219
Yeah!
589
00:31:22,719 --> 00:31:24,719
Gave you my money
by the five-and-ten
590
00:31:24,719 --> 00:31:26,219
You fool around
591
00:31:26,219 --> 00:31:27,219
You just flirtin' with your friend
592
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:30,219
I'm worried about you, baby
593
00:31:30,219 --> 00:31:32,219
I'm worried about you, baby
594
00:32:37,219 --> 00:32:40,219
I have to go to the bathroom.
595
00:32:40,219 --> 00:32:42,219
Look, I've got an idea.
596
00:32:42,719 --> 00:32:45,219
Will you guys do me a favor?
597
00:32:45,219 --> 00:32:48,219
Face that way, and don't turn around.
598
00:32:48,219 --> 00:32:50,719
I'll be back in a minute.
599
00:32:52,719 --> 00:32:54,219
Don't peek!
600
00:32:57,719 --> 00:33:00,219
Eddie, I think she's really gay.
601
00:33:00,219 --> 00:33:03,219
No, man. I think she's just bi.
602
00:33:03,219 --> 00:33:06,219
I think it's our duty as men
603
00:33:06,219 --> 00:33:09,219
to point this girl in the right direction.
604
00:33:09,219 --> 00:33:10,719
What if somebody
605
00:33:10,719 --> 00:33:13,719
tried to get you to be gay?
606
00:33:13,719 --> 00:33:15,719
That could never happen.
607
00:33:15,719 --> 00:33:17,219
It's not natural
608
00:33:17,219 --> 00:33:20,219
to turn someone from straight to gay.
609
00:33:20,219 --> 00:33:22,219
But it is natural
610
00:33:22,219 --> 00:33:25,219
to turn someone from gay to straight,
611
00:33:25,219 --> 00:33:27,219
especially if it's a woman.
612
00:33:27,219 --> 00:33:28,719
Are you sure?
613
00:33:28,719 --> 00:33:29,719
Um-hmm.
614
00:33:29,719 --> 00:33:31,219
OK, I'm done!
615
00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:34,219
I just meant she is what she is,
616
00:33:34,219 --> 00:33:37,219
and we shouldn't try to change her.
617
00:33:37,219 --> 00:33:40,219
We'll see. We'll see.
618
00:33:46,219 --> 00:33:48,219
It's too hot out here.
619
00:33:48,219 --> 00:33:51,219
I hope we don't die of heatstroke.
620
00:33:51,219 --> 00:33:53,719
Another car will be by soon.
621
00:33:53,719 --> 00:33:56,219
How long have we been here?
622
00:33:56,719 --> 00:33:57,719
Seven hours.
623
00:33:57,719 --> 00:33:59,719
Maybe we should start walking.
624
00:33:59,719 --> 00:34:01,219
Good idea.
625
00:34:01,219 --> 00:34:04,219
If we started walking seven hours ago,
626
00:34:04,219 --> 00:34:05,719
we'd be someplace.
627
00:34:05,719 --> 00:34:07,719
If we started walking then,
628
00:34:07,719 --> 00:34:09,719
we'd be dead now.
629
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,719
Who knew no one was decent enough
630
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,719
to give a lift to three fellow humans?
631
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,719
How come nobody's given us a ride?
632
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,719
With all the weirdos around,
633
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,719
I wouldn't give us a ride either.
634
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,219
You wouldn't give us a ride?
635
00:34:26,219 --> 00:34:28,719
No. You can't be too careful.
636
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,219
If you had been more careful,
637
00:34:31,219 --> 00:34:33,719
we wouldn't be in this mess.
638
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,719
Me? Me be more careful?
639
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,719
Who knocked my glasses off?
640
00:34:38,219 --> 00:34:40,719
You had to have the perfect hair
641
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,719
in the middle of nowhere.
642
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,719
He thought we were gonna
643
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,219
run into somebody in the desert.
644
00:34:47,219 --> 00:34:49,719
My hair is important to me.
645
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,719
Yeah, ranks up there
646
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,219
with the threat of nuclear war.
647
00:34:54,219 --> 00:34:58,219
Very funny. It takes two
cars to make a crash.
648
00:34:58,219 --> 00:35:01,219
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
649
00:35:01,219 --> 00:35:03,719
Without you, there wouldn't have been
650
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,719
another car to crash into.
651
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,719
That's the stupidest
thing I've heard all day.
652
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:12,219
If you'd stayed in your
own goddman lane,
653
00:35:12,219 --> 00:35:15,219
there could have been 100 other cars
654
00:35:15,219 --> 00:35:17,219
and no accident.
655
00:35:17,219 --> 00:35:19,219
You weren't paying attention.
656
00:35:19,219 --> 00:35:21,719
You only had one car to avoid.
657
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:25,219
I happen to be a very careful driver.
658
00:35:25,219 --> 00:35:27,219
Matt, you have no respect
659
00:35:27,219 --> 00:35:28,719
for individuality.
660
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,719
Keep it up. You'll never convert her.
661
00:35:32,219 --> 00:35:34,719
Convert me? That's a laugh.
662
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,219
You're just mad because you caused
663
00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:39,219
this whole mess.
664
00:35:39,219 --> 00:35:41,719
God, I have such a headache!
665
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,219
You blaming me?
666
00:35:43,219 --> 00:35:45,219
Everything else is your fault.
667
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:48,719
Lou Gehrig's disease is my fault, too?
668
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:52,219
Your razor-sharp wit
is unparalleled, Matt.
669
00:35:52,219 --> 00:35:54,219
Why don't you shut up, Matt?
670
00:35:54,219 --> 00:35:57,219
God, I feel sorry for California women!
671
00:35:57,219 --> 00:35:59,219
I'm a sensitive guy!
672
00:35:59,219 --> 00:36:00,719
Schmuchface!
673
00:36:01,219 --> 00:36:01,719
Dork!
674
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,219
Weasel!
675
00:36:03,219 --> 00:36:04,719
Cold fish!
676
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:06,719
Shut up, you stupid idiots!
677
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,219
You shut up!
678
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:58,219
Odds are we're going to
be out here for a while...
679
00:37:03,219 --> 00:37:06,219
So why don't we stop
all this silliness, OK?
680
00:37:11,219 --> 00:37:12,719
Come on, guys.
681
00:37:13,219 --> 00:37:15,219
This is ridiculous!
682
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:30,469
OK.
683
00:37:31,219 --> 00:37:33,719
Don't say I didn't try.
684
00:37:37,219 --> 00:37:39,219
Cheese sauce!
685
00:37:39,219 --> 00:37:42,719
[ laughter ]
686
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,719
I was 12, and she was 16.
687
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,719
I was the first one of my friends
688
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,719
to have any sort of physical encounter.
689
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,719
That was the last encounter I had
690
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,719
until I was 19.
691
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,219
All my friends passed me up.
692
00:38:41,219 --> 00:38:43,219
You were not the first.
693
00:38:43,219 --> 00:38:47,719
I kissed Rose Temple on
the lips when I was 10.
694
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:49,719
Big deal! I touched nipple.
695
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,219
Do either of you have girlfriends?
696
00:38:52,219 --> 00:38:53,719
What are those?
697
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,219
Two good-looking guys like you?
698
00:38:56,219 --> 00:38:58,719
Things will be different in LA.
699
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,719
California girls are
just begging for it, huh?
700
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,219
Most of them are, yeah.
701
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:08,719
Are you guys virgins?
702
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:09,719
- Virgins?
- Virgins?
703
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:13,219
Does this look like the face of a virgin?
704
00:39:13,219 --> 00:39:16,719
It looks like the face of a dork.
705
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,219
That's funny, Matt. That's real funny.
706
00:39:20,219 --> 00:39:23,719
Why don't you tell me
about your first time?
707
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,719
Come on, you nonvirgins.
708
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,719
Go ahead, Matt.
709
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:30,719
I was with Lisa Burger.
710
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,219
You remember Lisa?
711
00:39:33,219 --> 00:39:34,719
Buck teeth.
712
00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:35,719
Ugh.
713
00:39:37,219 --> 00:39:40,219
Yeah.
She did have rather large teeth.
714
00:39:40,219 --> 00:39:42,719
We went on this lousy date.
715
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:45,719
Didn't say two words to each other.
716
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,219
I almost felt sorry for her.
717
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:50,219
When I took her home,
718
00:39:50,219 --> 00:39:54,219
I attempted to give her
a kiss on the forehead.
719
00:39:54,219 --> 00:39:57,719
She throws me on the
couch and attacks me.
720
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:59,219
Oh, my God!
721
00:39:59,219 --> 00:40:02,719
I couldn't believe from
behind those glasses
722
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,719
beat the heart of a jungle beast.
723
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:07,719
My first time was great!
724
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,219
I was, like, 15 years old.
725
00:40:10,219 --> 00:40:14,719
My dad took me with him to
Chicago for this convention.
726
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,219
He had to go to Seminars.
727
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,719
I didn't have anything to do.
728
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:23,219
I was wandering around,
and I met this girl.
729
00:40:23,219 --> 00:40:25,719
Really, a woman, actually...
730
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:29,719
I looked old for my age,
and she digged me.
731
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:33,219
We spent the whole day
and night hanging around.
732
00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:35,219
It started to get late.
733
00:40:35,219 --> 00:40:39,219
She asked me if I
wanted to go upstairs,
734
00:40:39,219 --> 00:40:41,719
so we got in this elevator.
735
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,719
It was one of those glass elevators.
736
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:48,719
We got in it, and we started going up.
737
00:40:49,219 --> 00:40:51,219
She pushed the stop button
738
00:40:51,219 --> 00:40:54,719
between the 81st and the 82nd floor.
739
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,719
And right there
740
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,719
she ripped off her clothes.
741
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:03,219
I took off mine, and
we did it in the elevator.
742
00:41:03,219 --> 00:41:04,719
It was unbelievable.
743
00:41:05,219 --> 00:41:06,219
Wait a minute, Eddie.
744
00:41:06,219 --> 00:41:08,719
You told me your first time
745
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,219
was with Stacy Neill
746
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,719
in your dad's plumbing truck.
747
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,719
That was the first time
with someone my own age,
748
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:21,219
but the chick in Chicago
was my real first time.
749
00:41:21,219 --> 00:41:25,219
I don't know. That sounds
pretty dramatic, Eddie.
750
00:41:25,219 --> 00:41:29,219
Why don't you tell us
about your first time?
751
00:41:29,219 --> 00:41:32,219
This close friend of mine and I
752
00:41:32,219 --> 00:41:34,719
were up late talking one night.
753
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,719
We been last friends for a long time.
754
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:39,719
The more we talked,
755
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:45,719
the closer we seemed to
be drawn to each other.
756
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,219
We just kept talking.
757
00:41:49,219 --> 00:41:50,719
Pretty soon,
758
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:54,219
there was nothing left to be said,
759
00:41:54,219 --> 00:41:56,719
so we kissed.
760
00:41:59,219 --> 00:42:02,719
The rest, as they say, is history.
761
00:42:06,219 --> 00:42:07,719
That's it?
762
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:09,219
That's it.
763
00:42:09,219 --> 00:42:11,219
Was that Rachel?
764
00:42:11,219 --> 00:42:13,219
No. That was somebody different.
765
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:16,719
Where is she now?
766
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:18,219
She died.
767
00:42:18,219 --> 00:42:19,219
Sorry.
768
00:42:19,219 --> 00:42:22,719
That's OK.
It happened a long time ago.
769
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,719
It was a car accident.
770
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:26,719
Do you miss her?
771
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:28,219
No, Matt.
772
00:42:28,219 --> 00:42:30,719
She's, like, thrilled that she's dead.
773
00:42:31,219 --> 00:42:33,719
She was the first person in my life
774
00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:37,219
that I was close to that ever died.
775
00:42:39,219 --> 00:42:41,719
You know, I believe in reincarnation.
776
00:42:42,219 --> 00:42:45,219
What do you want to come back as?
777
00:42:45,219 --> 00:42:47,219
A porno star.
778
00:42:47,219 --> 00:42:51,719
I don't want to come back
as a porno star, OK?
779
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:55,719
I want to come back as a lion! Huhh!
780
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,719
I want to come back as Elvis.
781
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,719
I want to come back as the king.
782
00:43:03,219 --> 00:43:04,719
What about you?
783
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,719
What do you want to come back as?
784
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,219
A bug.
785
00:43:09,219 --> 00:43:11,219
Any kind of bug.
786
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,219
A bug?
787
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,719
I've always wanted
to have an exoskeleton.
788
00:43:29,219 --> 00:43:33,219
How long have you two
known each other, anyway?
789
00:43:33,219 --> 00:43:35,219
Since nursery school.
790
00:43:35,219 --> 00:43:36,719
Wow!
791
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,719
God, I haven't kept up
792
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,219
with any of my childhood friends.
793
00:43:41,219 --> 00:43:43,219
It's kind of nice.
794
00:43:43,219 --> 00:43:45,219
You guys seem so different.
795
00:43:45,219 --> 00:43:48,219
It doesn't seem like
you'd be best friends.
796
00:43:48,219 --> 00:43:51,219
It's kind of funny how that works out.
797
00:43:51,219 --> 00:43:54,719
For a few years during high school,
798
00:43:55,219 --> 00:43:57,719
we weren't as close as before and after.
799
00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:00,719
Eddie was into sports.
I was into music.
800
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,219
We still found that common ground
801
00:44:03,219 --> 00:44:05,219
that we had always shared.
802
00:44:05,219 --> 00:44:06,719
In elementary school
803
00:44:07,219 --> 00:44:09,719
we used to hang out a lot together.
804
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,719
I don't know, we were skateboarding,
805
00:44:13,219 --> 00:44:14,719
and we built forts and stuff.
806
00:44:15,219 --> 00:44:18,719
But then we got to junior
high and high school.
807
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,719
You guys went to camp, didn't you?
808
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:43,719
Yeah.
809
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,219
Camp rufflefeather.
810
00:44:45,219 --> 00:44:48,719
Did you sit around telling ghost stories?
811
00:44:49,219 --> 00:44:50,219
Oh, yeah.
812
00:44:50,219 --> 00:44:53,219
Matt!
Matt tells the best ghost stories.
813
00:44:53,219 --> 00:44:54,719
Oh, really?
814
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:55,719
Yeah.
815
00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:57,719
Tell the one about
816
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,719
that pirate with the things
hanging from his eyes.
817
00:45:01,219 --> 00:45:02,219
No.
818
00:45:02,219 --> 00:45:03,219
Yes!
819
00:45:03,219 --> 00:45:05,719
No. I've got a better one.
820
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:07,219
You got one?
821
00:45:07,219 --> 00:45:08,219
Yeah.
822
00:45:08,219 --> 00:45:11,219
He tells the best ghost stories.
823
00:45:11,219 --> 00:45:14,219
I love ghost stories.
824
00:45:14,219 --> 00:45:16,719
It was on a night...
825
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,719
much like this one--
826
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:26,719
still, silent, foreboding.
827
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:31,219
A heavy fog rolled in from the horizon,
828
00:45:31,219 --> 00:45:33,719
cheating an eerie blanket of mystery
829
00:45:34,219 --> 00:45:35,719
over the desert sand.
830
00:45:36,219 --> 00:45:38,219
Two scared and misdirected hitchhikers,
831
00:45:38,219 --> 00:45:40,719
Let's call them Brad and Lional,
832
00:45:41,219 --> 00:45:46,219
wandered aimlessly in search of shelter.
833
00:45:48,219 --> 00:45:50,719
Suddenly, from out of the black,
834
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:52,719
they spotted two tiny headlights
835
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:55,719
coming toward them
like deep, piercing eyes.
836
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:58,219
They got closer and closer.
837
00:45:58,219 --> 00:46:01,219
It seemed their long and frantic journey
838
00:46:01,219 --> 00:46:03,719
was nearing its end, until...
839
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:05,719
the car stopped.
840
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:09,719
Brad and Lional peered
into the waiting car.
841
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:13,219
Suddently, their hearts
beat in their throats,
842
00:46:13,219 --> 00:46:16,219
and the blood rushed from their faces
843
00:46:16,219 --> 00:46:19,719
because there was no driver!
844
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:21,719
Ooh, in a flash of memory,
845
00:46:22,219 --> 00:46:24,719
they were reminded of the words
846
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,719
of an old prospector they'd found dying
847
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:29,219
earlier that evening.
848
00:46:29,219 --> 00:46:30,539
Uuuh, oooh.
849
00:46:34,219 --> 00:46:39,719
Beware... beware of
the lonesome wanderers.
850
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,719
Ah, yes. The Lonesome Wanderers.
851
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:46,719
The lost souls of those who died
852
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,719
at the cruel hand of the desert.
853
00:46:49,719 --> 00:46:52,719
They who wander the sandy dunes at night
854
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,219
in search of hapless victims
855
00:46:55,219 --> 00:47:00,219
to join their eerie club of Nomads.
856
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,219
Just then, as Brad and Lionel
857
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:11,219
were immobilized with fear,
858
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:15,219
dozens of gnawed and decomposed hands
859
00:47:15,219 --> 00:47:19,219
made their way up from
beneath the desert floor
860
00:47:19,219 --> 00:47:21,219
and reached skyward.
861
00:47:21,219 --> 00:47:24,719
Their rancid, decomposed bodies
862
00:47:25,219 --> 00:47:27,719
freed themselves from their sandy tombs.
863
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,219
Brad and Lionel had no means of escape!
864
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:39,719
Surrounded by the hungry undead...
865
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,719
they saw their fate in the hands
866
00:47:43,219 --> 00:47:46,719
of these bloodthirsty, vengeful souls.
867
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:48,719
Ha ha ha ha!
868
00:47:51,219 --> 00:47:52,719
Clawing at them!
869
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:56,719
Aah!
870
00:47:58,719 --> 00:47:59,719
Aah!
871
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:00,719
Aah!
872
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:05,219
I wasn't scared.
873
00:48:05,219 --> 00:48:06,719
Oh, no!
874
00:48:06,719 --> 00:48:08,719
Ha ha! She wasn't scared.
875
00:48:11,219 --> 00:48:13,219
Way to go, man!
876
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,719
Ahhhhh
877
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:28,719
Ahhhhh
878
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,219
Ahhhhh
879
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:42,219
I don't have plans and schemes
880
00:48:42,219 --> 00:48:49,219
And I don't have hopes and dreams
881
00:48:49,219 --> 00:48:50,469
I don't have anything
882
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:59,219
Since I don't have you
883
00:48:59,219 --> 00:48:59,939
May I?
884
00:49:01,219 --> 00:49:03,219
By all means.
885
00:49:03,219 --> 00:49:08,219
I don't have fond desires
886
00:49:08,219 --> 00:49:14,719
And I don't have happy hours
887
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:15,969
I don't have anything
888
00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:28,219
Since I don't have you
889
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:33,219
I don't have happiness
890
00:49:33,219 --> 00:49:35,219
And I guess
891
00:49:35,219 --> 00:49:41,719
I never will ever again
892
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:43,719
When you walked out on me...
893
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:50,719
William...
894
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:56,219
looks like your wife has
grown to be old and fat.
895
00:49:56,219 --> 00:49:58,219
Ha ha ha!
896
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,219
Henry...
897
00:50:05,219 --> 00:50:08,219
The years sure haven't
been kind to your wife.
898
00:50:08,219 --> 00:50:10,219
Look at her!
899
00:50:10,219 --> 00:50:13,219
Look how ugly she is!
900
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:15,719
And Edward...
901
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,219
I'm disappointed in you.
902
00:50:18,219 --> 00:50:21,719
Your wife is the ugliest of all.
903
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:24,439
But...
904
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:29,719
not my Tuesday.
905
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,719
She's as beauitful now
as the day I married her.
906
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,219
Isn't that right, darling?
907
00:50:39,219 --> 00:50:42,219
That's right, sweetheart.
908
00:50:42,219 --> 00:50:46,219
Not only has she remained
a vision to work at,
909
00:50:46,219 --> 00:50:48,719
but she still satisfies me
910
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,219
in more ways than I could
have ever hoped for.
911
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:58,719
Let me show you.
912
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:07,219
Ooh!
913
00:51:07,219 --> 00:51:08,219
Ahh!
914
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:58,719
I don't have...
915
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,219
Tuesday...
916
00:52:01,219 --> 00:52:04,719
I don't want you to think
I don't understand
917
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:07,719
and accept you the way you are,
918
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:11,719
but I still can't help finding
you wildly attractive.
919
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,219
That's very sweet, Matt.
920
00:52:14,219 --> 00:52:15,059
Thanks.
921
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:19,319
You, you, you, you, you, you
922
00:52:27,219 --> 00:52:34,719
You, you, you, you, you, you
923
00:54:43,219 --> 00:54:46,719
There are more stars in the universe
924
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,719
than gins of sand in the Earth.
925
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:51,719
Where did you hear that?
926
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,219
It's the only thing I remember
927
00:54:54,219 --> 00:54:57,219
from my junior high school science class.
928
00:54:57,219 --> 00:54:59,219
I guess that makes sense
929
00:54:59,219 --> 00:55:02,719
when you think about the fact
930
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,219
that the universe is infinite.
931
00:55:10,783 --> 00:55:14,283
Makes you feel kind of small, doesn't it?
932
00:55:14,283 --> 00:55:17,283
Like one of those grains of sand.
933
00:55:17,283 --> 00:55:18,783
What is this?
934
00:55:18,783 --> 00:55:21,283
The Goddmaned Breakfast Club?
935
00:55:21,283 --> 00:55:24,283
Don't you two see what's happening here?
936
00:55:24,283 --> 00:55:26,283
We're all dying!
937
00:55:26,283 --> 00:55:28,283
We're all slowly dying!
938
00:55:28,283 --> 00:55:31,283
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
939
00:55:32,283 --> 00:55:34,283
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
940
00:55:34,283 --> 00:55:37,283
How can you talk about
feeling insignificant
941
00:55:37,283 --> 00:55:41,283
while we're out here being
fried like... chickens!
942
00:55:41,283 --> 00:55:43,283
Oh, my God!
943
00:55:43,283 --> 00:55:45,283
Matt, calm down.
944
00:55:46,783 --> 00:55:48,783
There's no cars coming.
945
00:55:48,783 --> 00:55:50,783
There's no food or water.
946
00:55:50,783 --> 00:55:52,283
There's no escape!
947
00:55:53,783 --> 00:55:55,283
We're doomed.
948
00:56:00,783 --> 00:56:03,283
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
949
00:56:03,283 --> 00:56:06,283
Is the air too thin up here?
950
00:56:06,283 --> 00:56:08,283
How high up are we?
951
00:56:08,283 --> 00:56:10,283
Matt, we're at sea level.
952
00:56:10,283 --> 00:56:13,783
Jesus!
This desert dust is in my lungs.
953
00:56:13,783 --> 00:56:17,283
I can't breathe.
I'm so hot and thirsty.
954
00:56:17,283 --> 00:56:19,783
Should we do something about this?
955
00:56:19,783 --> 00:56:21,783
He's always been like this.
956
00:56:21,783 --> 00:56:24,783
Once we were locked in
a K-Mart overnight.
957
00:56:24,783 --> 00:56:26,783
I'm dehydrating! I'm dehydrating!
958
00:56:26,783 --> 00:56:28,783
Oh, my God!
959
00:56:28,783 --> 00:56:32,783
We're going to have to drink our own pee!
960
00:56:32,783 --> 00:56:34,283
That's it!
961
00:56:34,283 --> 00:56:37,283
I gotta make a run for it.
962
00:56:37,283 --> 00:56:40,283
I gotta get to the nearest town.
963
00:56:40,283 --> 00:56:43,283
I can't sit here waiting to die,
964
00:56:43,283 --> 00:56:45,283
waiting to become dinner
965
00:56:45,283 --> 00:56:47,283
for some group of hungry... buzzards!
966
00:56:48,783 --> 00:56:50,783
Do you see any buzzards?
967
00:56:50,783 --> 00:56:53,283
Matt, there are no buzzards here.
968
00:56:53,283 --> 00:56:55,283
You are so stupid!
969
00:56:55,283 --> 00:56:56,783
Don't you know?
970
00:56:56,783 --> 00:56:59,783
They flock to the scent of dead meat.
971
00:56:59,783 --> 00:57:02,783
Sure. Sure. You don't see any now.
972
00:57:02,783 --> 00:57:05,283
Just wait. Wait till we're dead.
973
00:57:05,283 --> 00:57:07,283
You'll see. I'm going.
974
00:57:07,283 --> 00:57:10,283
I'm not going to be a sitting duck
975
00:57:10,283 --> 00:57:13,783
to the vicious hand of
the desert elements.
976
00:57:13,783 --> 00:57:16,283
I'm going. I'm no ding-a-ling.
977
00:57:16,283 --> 00:57:20,783
Not me! Run! Stay indoors!
978
00:57:20,783 --> 00:57:22,783
Don't go out!
979
00:57:22,783 --> 00:57:24,783
Run for your lives!
980
00:57:24,783 --> 00:57:27,283
Aah! Aah!
981
00:57:27,283 --> 00:57:28,723
Go! Go! Aah!
982
00:58:02,783 --> 00:58:05,783
We're in the middle of nowhere!
983
00:58:10,283 --> 00:58:11,783
Is he dead?
984
00:58:11,783 --> 00:58:15,783
I think he only has a few second left.
985
00:58:15,783 --> 00:58:18,783
I never thought it would happen like this.
986
00:58:18,783 --> 00:58:21,783
We've been friends for so long,
987
00:58:21,783 --> 00:58:24,783
I thought he'd choke on a candy bar
988
00:58:24,783 --> 00:58:27,283
or get his arms chopped off,
989
00:58:27,283 --> 00:58:29,283
but never like this.
990
00:58:29,283 --> 00:58:32,283
I think I know what might help.
991
00:58:32,283 --> 00:58:33,783
Eddie...
992
00:58:33,783 --> 00:58:35,783
go wait by the car.
993
00:58:37,283 --> 00:58:39,283
You're a good friend.
994
00:58:41,283 --> 00:58:42,783
Hang on, Matt.
995
00:58:42,783 --> 00:58:45,783
I have just what the doctor ordered.
996
01:00:01,863 --> 01:00:03,363
Matt, get up.
997
01:00:03,363 --> 01:00:04,863
Are you OK?
998
01:00:04,863 --> 01:00:07,363
We're in the middle of nowhere.
999
01:00:07,363 --> 01:00:08,863
We know, Matt.
1000
01:00:08,863 --> 01:00:10,863
I gotta sit down.
1001
01:00:13,363 --> 01:00:14,113
Uh!
1002
01:00:23,363 --> 01:00:25,363
I need to sit down.
1003
01:00:47,863 --> 01:00:48,863
Batman.
1004
01:00:48,863 --> 01:00:50,363
Don't hurt him.
1005
01:01:09,363 --> 01:01:10,863
Hey, you guys,
1006
01:01:10,863 --> 01:01:13,863
I think I'm going to be all right.
1007
01:01:16,363 --> 01:01:17,863
I'm hungry.
1008
01:01:28,863 --> 01:01:30,863
Hey, I got an idea.
1009
01:01:33,363 --> 01:01:34,863
Be careful, Batman.
1010
01:01:38,363 --> 01:01:39,863
Hurry up, Batman.
1011
01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:41,863
The Riddler's getting away.
1012
01:01:41,863 --> 01:01:43,863
Batman, to the Batpoles.
1013
01:01:43,863 --> 01:01:45,863
Batman, get up.
1014
01:01:51,363 --> 01:01:52,863
OK, come on.
1015
01:01:52,863 --> 01:01:53,863
Matt?
1016
01:01:53,863 --> 01:01:54,863
What?
1017
01:01:55,363 --> 01:01:57,863
You know what I'd kill for?
1018
01:01:57,863 --> 01:01:59,863
Captain crunch with crunchberries.
1019
01:02:00,363 --> 01:02:01,363
Remember?
1020
01:02:01,363 --> 01:02:03,363
Apple jacks are my favorite.
1021
01:02:03,363 --> 01:02:04,863
Apple jacks.
1022
01:02:04,863 --> 01:02:07,363
I haven't eaten those sugar cereals
1023
01:02:07,363 --> 01:02:08,363
Since I was about 10.
1024
01:02:08,363 --> 01:02:11,363
Here, let me take some.
1025
01:02:11,363 --> 01:02:13,863
You gotta promise to be careful.
1026
01:02:13,863 --> 01:02:16,863
I wouldn't let him do it, Tuesday.
1027
01:02:16,863 --> 01:02:18,863
Just be careful, OK?
1028
01:02:18,863 --> 01:02:19,863
OK.
1029
01:02:19,863 --> 01:02:21,863
Put this over your head.
1030
01:02:23,363 --> 01:02:24,113
OK.
1031
01:02:25,363 --> 01:02:27,363
OK. No. Focus here.
1032
01:02:27,363 --> 01:02:28,863
OK. Focus here.
1033
01:02:28,863 --> 01:02:30,363
Careful, Matt.
1034
01:02:30,363 --> 01:02:32,863
Matt, focus here, and push this.
1035
01:02:33,363 --> 01:02:35,863
OK. OK. I got it now.
1036
01:02:35,863 --> 01:02:37,863
Come here. Come here.
1037
01:02:37,863 --> 01:02:39,363
Argh!
1038
01:02:39,363 --> 01:02:41,363
Here we go. Ready?
1039
01:02:42,863 --> 01:02:44,863
That's a good one.
1040
01:02:44,863 --> 01:02:47,863
You sure you know how to do that?
1041
01:02:47,863 --> 01:02:49,863
Go over there.
1042
01:02:49,863 --> 01:02:50,863
OK.
1043
01:02:50,863 --> 01:02:52,363
Wait a second.
1044
01:02:53,863 --> 01:02:54,863
Smile.
1045
01:02:54,863 --> 01:02:56,363
Say cheese.
1046
01:02:56,363 --> 01:02:57,863
Very nice.
1047
01:02:57,863 --> 01:02:58,863
Cheese!
1048
01:03:00,363 --> 01:03:02,363
Am I in there?
1049
01:03:02,363 --> 01:03:03,863
Don't worry.
1050
01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:05,363
Unbelievable!
1051
01:03:14,863 --> 01:03:17,363
OK, you guys, say cocoa puffs.
1052
01:03:17,363 --> 01:03:19,863
One, two, three...
1053
01:03:19,863 --> 01:03:21,863
Cocoa puffs!
1054
01:03:31,363 --> 01:03:33,863
This stuff is really good, Tuesday.
1055
01:03:33,863 --> 01:03:35,363
Really good.
1056
01:03:35,363 --> 01:03:36,863
Thank you.
1057
01:03:36,863 --> 01:03:38,363
You develop it?
1058
01:03:38,363 --> 01:03:39,363
Um-hmm.
1059
01:03:44,363 --> 01:03:45,363
Whoa!
1060
01:03:45,863 --> 01:03:46,863
Whoa! Who's this?
1061
01:03:47,363 --> 01:03:48,863
That's Rachel.
1062
01:03:48,863 --> 01:03:49,863
Really?
1063
01:03:49,863 --> 01:03:51,863
Looks like a nice girl.
1064
01:03:51,863 --> 01:03:53,363
Yeah. She's terrific.
1065
01:03:53,363 --> 01:03:56,363
Too bad you'll never see her again.
1066
01:03:56,363 --> 01:03:59,863
Matt, we have to
keep a positive attitude.
1067
01:03:59,863 --> 01:04:04,863
OK, OK. I positively think
we'll be dead by nightfall.
1068
01:04:05,363 --> 01:04:08,363
That's not exactly what I meant, Matthew.
1069
01:04:08,863 --> 01:04:11,363
There's no way we'll die here.
1070
01:04:11,363 --> 01:04:13,363
I refuse to die a virgin.
1071
01:04:13,363 --> 01:04:14,203
A what?
1072
01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:29,363
Did you say... a virgin?
1073
01:04:29,363 --> 01:04:32,863
No, no, no, no.
That's not what I said.
1074
01:04:32,863 --> 01:04:35,363
Tuesday, he doesn't want to die a virgin.
1075
01:04:35,863 --> 01:04:40,363
A virgin like in never-having-had-sex
type of virgin?
1076
01:04:40,363 --> 01:04:43,363
That's not at all what I meant.
1077
01:04:43,363 --> 01:04:45,863
What about the glass
elevator woman, Eddie?
1078
01:04:46,363 --> 01:04:49,363
And Stacy Neill in your Dad's truck?
1079
01:04:49,363 --> 01:04:52,363
And Michelle Krendall and
the midnight hay ride?
1080
01:04:52,363 --> 01:04:55,363
And Samantha Revis,
the human sex machine?
1081
01:04:55,363 --> 01:04:58,363
Oh, and Mrs. Landower,
whose home you wrecked?
1082
01:04:58,363 --> 01:05:00,363
I was kidding.
1083
01:05:01,363 --> 01:05:04,363
Do I look like a virgin to you?
1084
01:05:06,863 --> 01:05:07,363
Yes!
1085
01:05:07,863 --> 01:05:09,363
Yes!
1086
01:05:10,363 --> 01:05:11,863
All right! All right!
1087
01:05:11,863 --> 01:05:14,863
So I'm a virgin. Big deal.
1088
01:05:14,863 --> 01:05:16,863
Crucify me, why don't you?
1089
01:05:22,863 --> 01:05:26,363
Eddie's a virgin. Eddie's a virgin.
1090
01:05:26,363 --> 01:05:29,863
Eddie's a virgin. Eddie's a virgin.
1091
01:05:29,863 --> 01:05:33,363
Eddie's a virgin. Eddie's a virgin.
1092
01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:36,863
Eddie's a virgin. Eddie's a virgin.
1093
01:05:36,863 --> 01:05:39,363
Just shut up, all right!
1094
01:05:39,363 --> 01:05:40,863
Shut up!
1095
01:05:43,363 --> 01:05:45,863
Don't get your feathers ruffled.
1096
01:05:45,863 --> 01:05:47,863
We were only kidding.
1097
01:05:47,863 --> 01:05:49,863
It's no big deal.
1098
01:05:49,863 --> 01:05:51,863
Eddie, we don't care.
1099
01:05:51,863 --> 01:05:53,863
I'm practically a virgin myself.
1100
01:06:05,863 --> 01:06:07,363
Eddie...
1101
01:06:09,363 --> 01:06:10,863
Let me ask you something.
1102
01:06:11,363 --> 01:06:14,363
I don't want to talk about it.
1103
01:06:15,863 --> 01:06:18,863
A relationship between man and woman
1104
01:06:18,863 --> 01:06:20,363
is not based--
1105
01:06:20,363 --> 01:06:22,863
What do you know about relationships?
1106
01:06:22,863 --> 01:06:24,363
You're a lesbian.
1107
01:06:24,363 --> 01:06:26,363
I'm also a woman.
1108
01:06:26,363 --> 01:06:27,863
Big deal.
1109
01:06:29,363 --> 01:06:31,363
Look, sex...
1110
01:06:32,863 --> 01:06:34,363
Sex is easy.
1111
01:06:34,363 --> 01:06:36,863
Anybody can do it.
1112
01:06:38,863 --> 01:06:44,863
Without friendship and trust and love...
1113
01:06:46,363 --> 01:06:48,363
sex means nothing.
1114
01:06:50,363 --> 01:06:53,363
You might as well be
out shoveling snow.
1115
01:06:53,363 --> 01:06:55,863
It's easy for you to say.
1116
01:06:55,863 --> 01:06:58,363
You've done it hundreds of times.
1117
01:06:58,363 --> 01:07:00,363
I haven't done it once.
1118
01:07:00,363 --> 01:07:03,363
The number of times one's had sex
1119
01:07:03,363 --> 01:07:05,363
doth not a man make.
1120
01:07:06,863 --> 01:07:08,863
Men and their egos.
1121
01:07:08,863 --> 01:07:11,363
I mean, why do you feel inadequate
1122
01:07:11,863 --> 01:07:15,363
just because you than man
conquered every woman.
1123
01:07:15,363 --> 01:07:17,863
I feel that it's very nice
1124
01:07:17,863 --> 01:07:22,363
than a man doesn't feel like
he's got to conquer women
1125
01:07:22,363 --> 01:07:24,363
ot feel like a man.
1126
01:07:24,363 --> 01:07:25,863
You do?
1127
01:07:25,863 --> 01:07:27,363
Yeah, I do.
1128
01:07:27,363 --> 01:07:31,863
I guarantee you all the girls
California woman you run across
1129
01:07:31,863 --> 01:07:33,863
will feel the same way.
1130
01:07:33,863 --> 01:07:35,863
You really think so?
1131
01:07:35,863 --> 01:07:37,863
Yes, I really think so.
1132
01:07:39,363 --> 01:07:41,363
I'll tell you something.
1133
01:07:41,363 --> 01:07:43,863
Women want to be respect.
1134
01:07:46,363 --> 01:07:48,863
I mean, who wants to feel used?
1135
01:07:48,863 --> 01:07:50,863
It's not a nice feeling.
1136
01:07:53,363 --> 01:07:56,363
After all,
you're not out hunting lions.
1137
01:07:56,363 --> 01:07:57,363
Yeah.
1138
01:07:57,363 --> 01:07:59,363
You're trying to build relationships.
1139
01:07:59,363 --> 01:08:00,863
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1140
01:08:03,863 --> 01:08:04,863
Thanks.
1141
01:08:06,363 --> 01:08:07,863
Sure.
1142
01:08:07,863 --> 01:08:12,363
By the way, I haven't done
it hundreds of times, OK?
1143
01:08:12,363 --> 01:08:13,863
Sorry.
1144
01:08:17,863 --> 01:08:18,863
Thanks.
1145
01:08:18,863 --> 01:08:19,863
Sure.
1146
01:08:21,363 --> 01:08:24,363
Hey, you guys, there's a car coming.
1147
01:08:41,363 --> 01:08:46,863
Up and down, and
outta luck on highway 94
1148
01:08:46,863 --> 01:08:49,863
The truck's a heap,
no food, no sleep
1149
01:08:49,863 --> 01:08:52,363
I can't bear this no more
1150
01:09:04,363 --> 01:09:06,363
You stuck?
1151
01:09:06,363 --> 01:09:07,363
Yeah.
1152
01:09:07,363 --> 01:09:08,363
Yeah.
1153
01:09:08,363 --> 01:09:09,863
Since yesterday afternoon.
1154
01:09:09,863 --> 01:09:11,863
Yesterday afternoon, huh?
1155
01:09:11,863 --> 01:09:16,363
You two guys been stuck
out here all night with her?
1156
01:09:16,363 --> 01:09:17,363
Yeah.
1157
01:09:17,363 --> 01:09:21,363
Lady, I'd drink your bath water.
1158
01:09:24,363 --> 01:09:24,863
Hey!
1159
01:09:25,363 --> 01:09:26,363
Hey!
1160
01:09:26,363 --> 01:09:27,863
Hey!
1161
01:09:27,863 --> 01:09:28,863
Hey!
1162
01:09:29,363 --> 01:09:30,863
Turn around.
1163
01:09:30,863 --> 01:09:32,363
Let go of my friend.
1164
01:09:32,863 --> 01:09:34,863
Keep your distance, faggot.
1165
01:09:34,863 --> 01:09:35,363
Sure.
1166
01:09:35,863 --> 01:09:37,863
We don't want any trouble.
1167
01:09:37,863 --> 01:09:40,863
Lady, with that body, you're
always lookin' for trouble.
1168
01:09:41,363 --> 01:09:44,363
You want our money? There it is.
1169
01:09:44,363 --> 01:09:45,863
Just let my friend go.
1170
01:09:46,363 --> 01:09:47,863
Pick up that wallet.
1171
01:09:48,363 --> 01:09:49,363
What?
1172
01:09:49,363 --> 01:09:51,363
Pick it up now!
1173
01:09:51,363 --> 01:09:52,363
Here.
1174
01:09:52,363 --> 01:09:56,363
Take out the money and
put it on my dashboard.
1175
01:10:01,363 --> 01:10:05,363
Now, get everybody else's
money and do the same.
1176
01:10:09,863 --> 01:10:10,863
Ha ha ha!
1177
01:10:13,863 --> 01:10:15,363
All right.
1178
01:10:15,363 --> 01:10:20,863
I could cut your throat with my
knife right now if I wanted to.
1179
01:10:20,863 --> 01:10:23,363
Just slice right across from ear to ear.
1180
01:10:23,863 --> 01:10:25,863
Your blood would squirt 20 feet.
1181
01:10:26,363 --> 01:10:28,863
Your life would squirt 20 feet.
1182
01:10:28,863 --> 01:10:31,363
I seen blood squirt 20 feet.
1183
01:10:32,863 --> 01:10:35,863
Hey, faggot,
whose boom box is that?
1184
01:10:35,863 --> 01:10:36,863
Mine.
1185
01:10:36,863 --> 01:10:38,363
In the car.
1186
01:10:41,363 --> 01:10:43,863
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1187
01:10:43,863 --> 01:10:45,863
My God, too, partner.
1188
01:10:45,863 --> 01:10:47,363
What else you guys got?
1189
01:10:47,863 --> 01:10:49,863
Whose camera is that?
1190
01:10:49,863 --> 01:10:52,363
Look. Please don't
take my camera, OK?
1191
01:10:52,863 --> 01:10:54,363
In the car.
1192
01:10:54,363 --> 01:10:56,863
What, are you deaf, faggot?
1193
01:11:09,363 --> 01:11:09,863
There's trouble in paradise
1194
01:11:10,363 --> 01:11:11,363
Yeah, yeah
1195
01:11:11,363 --> 01:11:13,363
My turtle dove's taken wing
1196
01:11:13,363 --> 01:11:14,863
Oh, yeah
1197
01:11:14,863 --> 01:11:15,863
There's trouble in paradise
1198
01:11:16,363 --> 01:11:17,363
Yeah, yeah
1199
01:11:17,363 --> 01:11:18,863
The birds no longer sing
1200
01:11:19,363 --> 01:11:21,863
Some devil told my angel
1201
01:11:21,863 --> 01:11:25,363
A lotta lies...
1202
01:11:25,363 --> 01:11:26,863
A Tennis racket?
1203
01:11:26,863 --> 01:11:27,863
Nope.
1204
01:11:27,863 --> 01:11:29,863
A Lucky Larry Loopin Brush?
1205
01:11:29,863 --> 01:11:31,363
A what?
1206
01:11:31,363 --> 01:11:33,363
There's four brushes in one--
1207
01:11:33,363 --> 01:11:36,363
a hairbrush, a lint brush,
a dog brush,
1208
01:11:36,363 --> 01:11:37,863
and a toothbrush.
1209
01:11:37,863 --> 01:11:39,363
In the car.
1210
01:11:40,863 --> 01:11:42,363
A shower massage?
1211
01:11:42,363 --> 01:11:43,863
In the car.
1212
01:11:49,363 --> 01:11:51,363
I got records here.
1213
01:11:51,363 --> 01:11:52,863
What ones?
1214
01:11:52,863 --> 01:11:55,363
There's Iron Butterfly,
Dylan, Chubby Checkers.
1215
01:11:55,363 --> 01:11:57,363
Iron Butterfly in the car.
1216
01:11:58,863 --> 01:12:00,863
A braun hand blender?
1217
01:12:00,863 --> 01:12:02,863
Like the one advertised on TV?
1218
01:12:03,363 --> 01:12:04,863
In the car.
1219
01:12:04,863 --> 01:12:07,863
There's trouble in paradise
1220
01:12:08,363 --> 01:12:09,863
Black reeboks.
1221
01:12:09,863 --> 01:12:11,363
What size?
1222
01:12:11,363 --> 01:12:13,363
Matt, what size you wear?
1223
01:12:13,363 --> 01:12:14,363
Nine.
1224
01:12:14,363 --> 01:12:15,363
Yeah.
1225
01:12:15,363 --> 01:12:18,363
They'd like our love to be
1226
01:12:18,363 --> 01:12:20,363
That's all I got.
1227
01:12:20,363 --> 01:12:22,863
There's trouble in paradise
1228
01:12:22,863 --> 01:12:24,363
Let's have a look.
1229
01:12:27,863 --> 01:12:32,363
Mr. Moon, Mr. Sun, tell
her she's the only one
1230
01:12:32,863 --> 01:12:33,863
Yeah.
1231
01:12:33,863 --> 01:12:35,863
Guide her with your lovely light
1232
01:12:35,863 --> 01:12:37,863
What else you got, faggot?
1233
01:12:37,863 --> 01:12:39,863
I got nothing. That's it.
1234
01:12:39,863 --> 01:12:40,863
Nothing?
1235
01:12:40,863 --> 01:12:41,863
No.
1236
01:12:41,863 --> 01:12:44,863
And heaven's not the same
1237
01:12:44,863 --> 01:12:46,863
What the hell is this?
1238
01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:49,363
They say it's such a shame
1239
01:12:49,363 --> 01:12:53,363
"Dear Matthrew, don't foget
the holidays. Love, Mom."
1240
01:12:53,363 --> 01:12:55,363
Just like before
1241
01:12:55,363 --> 01:12:56,863
In the car, fairy.
1242
01:12:56,863 --> 01:13:00,363
Look... I'm not gay.
1243
01:13:00,363 --> 01:13:01,363
They'll be no more
1244
01:13:02,863 --> 01:13:06,363
I used to rape guys like you in prison.
1245
01:13:06,363 --> 01:13:07,863
Tell her she's the only one
1246
01:13:07,863 --> 01:13:10,863
Guide her with your lovely light
1247
01:13:10,863 --> 01:13:14,363
Back into my arms tonight
1248
01:13:14,363 --> 01:13:16,863
There's trouble in paradise
1249
01:13:17,363 --> 01:13:19,863
And heaven's not the same
1250
01:13:20,363 --> 01:13:22,863
The angels sit and cry
1251
01:13:22,863 --> 01:13:25,863
They say it's such a shame
1252
01:13:25,863 --> 01:13:29,363
They'd like our love to be
1253
01:13:29,863 --> 01:13:34,363
You know, they say we all
got a date with destiny.
1254
01:13:34,363 --> 01:13:37,363
Consider this one a rain check.
1255
01:13:37,363 --> 01:13:41,363
Calling all angels, calling
all angels, calling all angels
1256
01:13:41,363 --> 01:13:42,863
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
1257
01:13:43,363 --> 01:13:47,363
Calling all angels, calling
all angels, calling all angels
1258
01:13:47,363 --> 01:13:48,863
Ooh
1259
01:13:48,863 --> 01:13:51,363
Calling all angels, calling all angels...
1260
01:13:59,363 --> 01:14:00,863
You all right?
1261
01:14:01,363 --> 01:14:02,363
Yeah, I'm OK.
1262
01:14:02,863 --> 01:14:04,863
It's just a camera.
1263
01:14:05,363 --> 01:14:06,363
Yeah.
1264
01:14:06,863 --> 01:14:09,863
Cameras can be replaced.
Lives can't.
1265
01:14:12,363 --> 01:14:14,863
I'm broke. How about you guys?
1266
01:14:14,863 --> 01:14:15,863
Busted.
1267
01:14:17,363 --> 01:14:18,363
You know, Eddie,
1268
01:14:18,863 --> 01:14:21,363
you didn't have to offer him our money.
1269
01:14:21,863 --> 01:14:23,363
I didn't offer money.
1270
01:14:23,863 --> 01:14:25,863
You threw him your wallet.
1271
01:14:25,863 --> 01:14:27,363
He didn't ask for it.
1272
01:14:27,863 --> 01:14:30,363
I should have let him kill you.
1273
01:14:30,863 --> 01:14:33,863
You know,
that may all be well and good,
1274
01:14:34,363 --> 01:14:35,863
but then...
1275
01:14:36,863 --> 01:14:40,363
you wouldn't have known about this.
1276
01:14:43,363 --> 01:14:44,863
300 bucks.
1277
01:14:44,863 --> 01:14:46,863
Where did you get that?
1278
01:14:46,863 --> 01:14:49,363
You can never be too safe.
1279
01:14:49,363 --> 01:14:51,863
We'll offer it into three piles.
1280
01:14:51,863 --> 01:14:53,863
A pile for you.
1281
01:14:54,863 --> 01:14:56,863
A pile for you.
1282
01:14:56,863 --> 01:14:59,363
Thanks, Matt,
but I can't take your money.
1283
01:14:59,863 --> 01:15:01,363
Sure you can.
1284
01:15:01,363 --> 01:15:04,363
You'd do the same for us, wouldn't you?
1285
01:15:04,984 --> 01:15:05,984
No.
1286
01:15:08,984 --> 01:15:10,984
I'll pay you back.
1287
01:15:10,984 --> 01:15:12,984
It's OK. I wrecked your car.
1288
01:15:13,484 --> 01:15:16,484
Where should we start
spending all this money?
1289
01:15:16,484 --> 01:15:18,484
Any ideas?
1290
01:15:20,484 --> 01:15:22,484
You know, it's weird.
1291
01:15:22,484 --> 01:15:23,984
I'm not so nervous anymore.
1292
01:15:24,484 --> 01:15:28,984
You know how they say
you get calm near the end?
1293
01:15:28,984 --> 01:15:31,484
I'm looking at my destiny in the face,
1294
01:15:31,984 --> 01:15:33,484
and I'm no longer afraid.
1295
01:15:33,984 --> 01:15:35,484
Ha ha ha!
1296
01:15:35,484 --> 01:15:36,984
That's it.
1297
01:15:36,984 --> 01:15:39,484
As much as I hate to admit it,
1298
01:15:39,984 --> 01:15:42,484
I see no alternative. Time to walk.
1299
01:15:42,984 --> 01:15:45,484
Wait a minute.
Let's weigh our options.
1300
01:15:45,984 --> 01:15:47,484
If we stay here,
1301
01:15:47,984 --> 01:15:50,484
we're going to die of
starvation and dehydration,
1302
01:15:50,984 --> 01:15:52,984
but if we start walking,
1303
01:15:52,984 --> 01:15:56,984
we're going to die of
starvation and dehydration...
1304
01:15:57,484 --> 01:15:59,484
but with a little dignity.
1305
01:15:59,984 --> 01:16:02,484
You know, I wish you guys
had listened to me
1306
01:16:02,984 --> 01:16:05,984
when we had more food and water.
1307
01:16:07,484 --> 01:16:09,984
Well, what do you guys say?
1308
01:16:17,984 --> 01:16:19,984
Let's go.
1309
01:16:29,984 --> 01:16:30,984
Bye.
1310
01:17:02,984 --> 01:17:04,484
Don't get excited, guys.
1311
01:17:04,984 --> 01:17:06,984
This is a mirage.
1312
01:17:07,984 --> 01:17:10,484
My hand blender and my planters,
1313
01:17:10,984 --> 01:17:13,484
oh, yeah, my shower massage.
1314
01:17:13,984 --> 01:17:16,984
Shower massage? Yeah?
1315
01:17:16,984 --> 01:17:19,984
Why, I got to get me one of those.
1316
01:17:20,484 --> 01:17:22,984
I got this kink in my neck.
1317
01:17:23,484 --> 01:17:25,484
It's like this knot. Feel it.
1318
01:17:25,984 --> 01:17:26,984
Yeah, it's tight.
1319
01:17:27,484 --> 01:17:29,984
Yeah, feel it. Yeah, feel it.
1320
01:17:29,984 --> 01:17:32,484
Feel it. Would you feel that?
1321
01:17:32,484 --> 01:17:33,484
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1322
01:17:33,484 --> 01:17:35,484
Feel it. Right there.
1323
01:17:35,484 --> 01:17:36,984
It's tight.
1324
01:17:36,984 --> 01:17:38,984
Yeah, OK, enough of this.
1325
01:17:39,984 --> 01:17:42,984
It's a 1961 cadillac.
1326
01:17:43,484 --> 01:17:44,984
Black. White walls.
1327
01:17:45,484 --> 01:17:46,484
That's it.
1328
01:17:46,984 --> 01:17:49,984
You want me to call
your insurance companies?
1329
01:17:49,984 --> 01:17:51,484
No. That's OK.
1330
01:17:51,484 --> 01:17:52,984
It's nobody's fault.
1331
01:17:55,984 --> 01:17:57,984
It's nobody's fault?
1332
01:18:00,984 --> 01:18:04,484
OK. I'll call in for a tow truck.
1333
01:18:05,484 --> 01:18:06,984
Be here shortly.
1334
01:18:06,984 --> 01:18:07,984
Thanks.
1335
01:18:08,484 --> 01:18:10,484
We really appreciate that.
1336
01:18:10,984 --> 01:18:12,984
Freeze, loser!
1337
01:18:13,484 --> 01:18:14,204
Aaaah!
1338
01:18:16,984 --> 01:18:18,484
Just kidding.
1339
01:18:18,984 --> 01:18:21,984
Ha ha ha! I love my job!
1340
01:18:24,984 --> 01:18:25,984
Yeah...
1341
01:18:25,984 --> 01:18:27,984
excuse me.
1342
01:18:48,984 --> 01:18:51,484
Come here. Come here.
1343
01:18:56,984 --> 01:18:59,984
You guys been out here all night?
1344
01:19:00,484 --> 01:19:01,984
Just you and her?
1345
01:19:02,484 --> 01:19:03,484
Why?
1346
01:19:03,484 --> 01:19:07,984
I bet you're sorry to see
this evening coming to a close.
1347
01:19:08,484 --> 01:19:09,984
Hubba-hubba.
1348
01:19:28,984 --> 01:19:30,984
We're going to LA.
1349
01:19:31,484 --> 01:19:31,984
LA?
1350
01:19:32,484 --> 01:19:33,484
LA.
1351
01:19:34,984 --> 01:19:38,984
There's plenty more of them
where she comes from.
1352
01:19:45,484 --> 01:19:46,984
Heads up.
1353
01:19:48,484 --> 01:19:49,984
Thanks.
1354
01:19:49,984 --> 01:19:51,484
Keep cool.
1355
01:19:52,484 --> 01:19:55,984
OK. I'm going to go get
you guys your pick-up.
1356
01:19:56,484 --> 01:19:57,484
Thanks.
1357
01:20:00,984 --> 01:20:02,484
Eee-ah!
1358
01:20:02,984 --> 01:20:05,484
Hey! Back off.
1359
01:20:17,984 --> 01:20:19,984
Did you touch that?
1360
01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:24,484
Put your hands up. Up! Up!
1361
01:20:29,984 --> 01:20:31,984
[ engine starts ]
1362
01:20:32,484 --> 01:20:36,984
[ police radio ]
1363
01:21:02,484 --> 01:21:04,484
Well, Eddie...
1364
01:21:05,484 --> 01:21:07,984
we haven't much time.
1365
01:21:12,484 --> 01:21:13,984
[ whistle ]
1366
01:21:13,984 --> 01:21:15,984
Gotta hand it to you, Eddie.
1367
01:21:15,984 --> 01:21:18,984
Said you'd convert her, and you did.
1368
01:21:26,484 --> 01:21:27,984
Ohh!
1369
01:21:41,484 --> 01:21:43,484
[ engine starts ]
1370
01:22:07,484 --> 01:22:08,984
You know,
1371
01:22:09,484 --> 01:22:11,984
I really like you.
1372
01:22:19,484 --> 01:22:23,484
You're gonna miss me
when I'm gone
1373
01:22:23,484 --> 01:22:26,484
Baja California
1374
01:22:28,484 --> 01:22:31,484
That wide dirt road
stretches on and on
1375
01:22:31,984 --> 01:22:34,484
Baja California
1376
01:22:36,984 --> 01:22:39,984
I'm going out there
to be with you...
1377
01:22:42,484 --> 01:22:44,484
Hey, there, Zeck.
1378
01:22:44,984 --> 01:22:46,984
Hey, thank you, Zeck.
1379
01:22:48,984 --> 01:22:53,484
So tell me, how's that modern
dance class you been takin'?
1380
01:22:53,984 --> 01:22:55,484
I'll tell you, Zeck,
1381
01:22:55,984 --> 01:22:58,484
my thighs ain't half a-killin' me.
1382
01:22:58,984 --> 01:23:01,484
How are your corns holdin' up?
1383
01:23:01,984 --> 01:23:04,984
Fine, with extra talcum
powder in my shoes.
1384
01:23:05,484 --> 01:23:06,984
That'll work.
1385
01:23:06,984 --> 01:23:09,984
I hope your damage
doesn't cost too much.
1386
01:23:10,484 --> 01:23:11,984
Same for you, Tuesday.
1387
01:23:12,484 --> 01:23:13,984
We hope the same thing.
1388
01:23:18,984 --> 01:23:19,484
Sorry about your camera.
1389
01:23:20,984 --> 01:23:24,984
It's OK.
Sorry about your menorah.
1390
01:23:26,484 --> 01:23:29,984
You think you'll make
New York in time?
1391
01:23:29,984 --> 01:23:32,984
No way, but then
I don't have a camera,
1392
01:23:33,484 --> 01:23:35,484
so what the hell, right?
1393
01:23:35,484 --> 01:23:38,984
Hey! We're ready to hit the road.
1394
01:23:38,984 --> 01:23:39,984
Already?
1395
01:23:40,484 --> 01:23:41,984
You, uh, you, uh,
1396
01:23:42,484 --> 01:23:44,984
you three been out here all night?
1397
01:23:45,484 --> 01:23:46,484
Uh-huh.
1398
01:23:46,484 --> 01:23:46,984
Yeah.
1399
01:23:47,484 --> 01:23:49,484
Just the three of youse?
1400
01:23:49,484 --> 01:23:51,984
No, man, you don't understand--
1401
01:24:20,484 --> 01:24:23,484
Thanks, guys,
for a wonderful evening.
1402
01:24:25,484 --> 01:24:27,484
I'll never forget it.
1403
01:24:35,484 --> 01:24:37,984
- All right!
- All right!
1404
01:24:48,984 --> 01:24:52,984
OK, you guys, knock those
California women dead.
1405
01:24:55,984 --> 01:24:58,984
Good luck with all your
photography and stuff.
1406
01:24:59,484 --> 01:25:00,984
Thanks.
1407
01:25:00,984 --> 01:25:03,984
Give Rachel a kiss on the lips for us.
1408
01:25:03,984 --> 01:25:05,984
You got it.
1409
01:25:08,484 --> 01:25:10,484
[ honk honk ]
1410
01:25:10,484 --> 01:25:12,484
Let's go, people.
1411
01:25:12,484 --> 01:25:15,984
Yeah. Let's move it all
on out now, y'all.
1412
01:25:18,484 --> 01:25:19,984
Well...
1413
01:25:21,484 --> 01:25:22,484
Bye.
1414
01:25:23,484 --> 01:25:24,984
Bye.
1415
01:25:30,484 --> 01:25:31,984
Bye.
1416
01:25:32,984 --> 01:25:34,984
Take care of yourself, OK?
1417
01:25:50,984 --> 01:25:52,984
Hey, guys.
1418
01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:57,484
All right.
1419
01:26:27,984 --> 01:26:28,984
Hi.
1420
01:26:31,484 --> 01:26:32,984
You know, uh,
1421
01:26:33,484 --> 01:26:36,484
I don't normally drive a tow truck.
1422
01:26:37,484 --> 01:26:41,484
I'm just fillin' in for a buddy.
1423
01:26:41,484 --> 01:26:42,984
Ha ha ha!
1424
01:26:43,484 --> 01:26:45,484
You don't believe me?
1425
01:26:46,984 --> 01:26:48,984
You want a beer?
1426
01:26:49,484 --> 01:26:50,984
It'll settle your nerves.
1427
01:26:51,484 --> 01:26:53,484
Gee, you fellers are lucky.
1428
01:26:54,484 --> 01:26:56,984
That sure is some hot patootie
1429
01:26:57,484 --> 01:26:58,984
you got back there.
1430
01:26:59,484 --> 01:27:01,984
Haw haw haw!
1431
01:27:06,484 --> 01:27:08,984
So, y'all headin' on out
to Los Angeles, huh?
1432
01:27:09,484 --> 01:27:10,984
Haw haw haw!
1433
01:27:11,484 --> 01:27:14,484
Sure is some pretty
young things down there.
1434
01:27:14,984 --> 01:27:17,484
Haw haw haw!
1435
01:27:51,984 --> 01:27:58,484
Ahh ahh ahh
1436
01:27:58,484 --> 01:28:03,484
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
1437
01:28:04,984 --> 01:28:10,984
I don't have plans and schemes
1438
01:28:10,984 --> 01:28:16,984
And I don't have hopes and dreams
1439
01:28:17,984 --> 01:28:24,484
I don't have anything
1440
01:28:24,484 --> 01:28:30,484
Since I don't have you...
92293
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