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1
00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:07,341
Music: The Road Forward
Alan Hawkshaw
2
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:31,592
Music: The Blue Danube Waltz
Johann Strauss II
3
00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:06,395
(inaudible)
4
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:37,259
Excuse me, I don't mean to intrude,
but aren't you Barbara Broadcast?
5
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:43,516
- Why yes, I am.
- See! I knew it all the time. I knew
it was her!
6
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:47,645
You look so much better in the picture
on the cover of your book than you...
7
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,273
- Would you mind autographing our copy?
- Certainly.
8
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:56,195
Would you make one to Morris Vincent,
and the other to Florence Dorothy Vincent?
9
00:03:57,279 --> 00:04:01,242
- Okay.
- This is Florence Dorothy,
and I am Morris Vincent.
10
00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:07,540
- It was really awful the way you were
deported.
- Yes, and for a victimless crime!
11
00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:13,629
- Mmm. Were all your crimes victimless?
- No. Not all, thank goodness.
12
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:18,300
Well, it must be terrible not to be
able to return to your homeland!
13
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:22,346
Well, I was never that crazy
about Puerto Rico.
14
00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:24,890
(laughs) Well, thank you!
15
00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:43,200
(inaudible)
16
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,983
Excuse me! I don't mean to intrude,
but my brother's kind of shy
17
00:04:55,009 --> 00:04:58,449
and, well, he's a big,
big fan of yours.
18
00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:03,220
Would you mind giving him an autograph?
And a little head? Just a little,
he doesn't want to come or anything.
19
00:05:04,722 --> 00:05:07,391
Why so shy?
20
00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:13,606
You don't have anything
to be shy about.
21
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:11,831
(laughs nervously)
22
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:26,428
(laughs again)
23
00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:32,101
Can I come in your mouth?
24
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,230
Mm-mm.
25
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,944
When will I be old enough to
come in a girl's mouth?
26
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:45,739
When you're old enough not to ask.
27
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:51,120
Why do you continue to hook when
you're such a successful author?
28
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:55,916
Well, I'll tell you. It beats writing
for a living.
Typing, you know, it breaks your nails.
29
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:58,586
- Do you type?
- I was a secretary!
- Really!?
30
00:06:59,003 --> 00:07:03,549
- I enjoyed taking shorthand.
- Ooh. I prefer longhand.
31
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:10,472
Where did you get such nice teeth?
32
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:16,604
One night, I caught the tooth-fairy
under my pillow
and I gave him the best fuck of his life.
33
00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,283
- Would you like another, sir?
- No thanks, just coffee.
34
00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:32,786
Now, what else did I leave
out of the book?
35
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:36,957
Do you want to go on to the strange
people who worked for you?
36
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:41,670
Well, there was this slightly strange
one who liked to
hang out in front of bus terminals.
37
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:47,843
- Oh, do you mind? I'm expecting a
friend.
- Not at all.
38
00:07:51,764 --> 00:07:55,726
- Can you do a number seventeen?
- Certainly.
39
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:22,419
Music: Tales from the Vienna Woods
Johann Strauss II
40
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:28,485
- Has your friend arrived yet?
- Um, no. Not yet.
41
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:41,832
- She does a wonderful cafe au lait.
- Hello!
42
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:47,546
- Oh, hello! Joyce, this is Roberta.
Roberta, this is Joyce. She used to
work for me.
43
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:53,594
- I ordered for you.
- Oh, I can't! That's my binge food.
44
00:09:57,264 --> 00:10:01,769
- We were just talking about the one
who likes bus terminals. Do you
remember that one?
- Vaugely!
45
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,872
If you want to meet people,
particularly strangers to a city,
46
00:10:04,898 --> 00:10:07,633
there's no better
place than a bus terminal.
47
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:19,203
What time do you get off work?
48
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:24,393
I would love to hear the end,
but I have to go.
It's going to be a very busy afternoon.
49
00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:29,439
There was a really bloody mafia
picture on TV last night. Goodbye!
50
00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:33,986
That chopped-liver cock's gorgeous! It
must have been done by the
sculptor Horowitz.
51
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:38,740
That couldn't be Horowitz's work.
Horowitz only works in Halvah.
Come on!
52
00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:01,930
- Un, excuse me. I'm a friend of Tony's.
- Oh. Tony.
53
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,435
Yeah, he said I could make it with you
sometime.
On his account, of course.
54
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:10,647
- Oh, that's nice. Are you circumcized?
- Yes. Why?
55
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:15,319
I don't want you to think I'm not
interested in you as a person.
56
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:22,659
Music: Reflections on a Misty Morning
Brian Bennett
57
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:59,668
- Who are you?
- I'm Harvey, the wall-banger.
58
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:10,887
I believe the story is just beginning
to get interesting.
59
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:17,894
The way everyone was conning everyone,
I think she had the most honest
relationship. Beating off.
60
00:16:55,599 --> 00:17:00,437
[Barbara] Sex is a subject that
appeals to all ages.
Everyone likes it.
61
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:06,359
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Do you mind if I blow your waiter?
62
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,320
Not at all!
63
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:16,578
I don't know what on earth happened to mine.
In a Caucasian restaurant you really
have to keep track of your waiter.
64
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,999
- They all look alike!
- Do you want any help?
- Please!
65
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,502
(inaudible)
66
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:38,058
Music: Azure Blue
Simon Benson & Peter Cox
67
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:36,324
Would you like something to drink?
68
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:40,412
- No alcohol. A Shirley Temple.
- Surely!
69
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:41,259
Thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me.
70
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:02,280
(sound of glass shattering)
71
00:22:42,612 --> 00:22:46,574
- Could you excuse me a few minutes?
I'm expecting a very important call.
- Surely!
72
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:53,665
Please, have a waiter while you're waiting.
Or better still, give my compliments
to the chef.
73
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:15,395
Music: Reflections on a Misty Morning
Brian Bennett
74
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:37,458
(inaudible)
75
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:45,049
(inaudible)
76
00:24:12,577 --> 00:24:14,370
(door buzzer sounds)
77
00:25:04,253 --> 00:25:08,216
Music: Before Summer Ends
Keith Mansfield
78
00:34:16,013 --> 00:34:19,975
- Everyone's waiting. What should I do?
- I'll be right along.
79
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,806
Go get 'em, tiger.
80
00:35:11,944 --> 00:35:15,906
Music: Blue Danube Waltz
Johann Strauss II
81
00:35:20,077 --> 00:35:23,080
Waiter! More coffee, please.
82
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,888
(laughs)
83
00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:09,593
Music: Dossier
Alan Hawkshaw & Brian Bennett
84
00:43:57,052 --> 00:44:01,014
Music: Big Haul
Brian Bennett
85
00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:56,684
Music: The Double Take
Steve Gray
86
00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:22,575
Music: Vienna Blood Waltz
Johann Strauss II
87
00:53:23,618 --> 00:53:28,706
- Excuse me. Did the lady that I was
with leave any messages for me?
- Miss Broacast, yes. Your friend left this.
88
00:53:28,998 --> 00:53:30,958
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
89
00:53:36,422 --> 00:53:40,385
Music: Getaway
Alan Hawkshaw
90
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:14,562
Are you going to offer me
a sip of your joint?
91
00:55:28,201 --> 00:55:32,163
What I usually offer people
is more expensive.
92
00:55:33,623 --> 00:55:37,543
- Oh?
- It's never overpriced.
93
00:55:47,595 --> 00:55:51,599
It's getting way past my head-time.
94
00:56:13,246 --> 00:56:17,166
Music: Wallop
Brian Bennett
95
00:59:24,228 --> 00:59:28,190
Music: You've Got What It Takes
Madeline Bell
96
01:02:11,812 --> 01:02:15,774
Music: Glittering Mud
Steve Gray
97
01:04:51,430 --> 01:04:55,392
Music: Flying High
Stefano Torossi
98
01:06:50,591 --> 01:06:54,553
Music: The Big One
Alan Tew
99
01:09:27,664 --> 01:09:31,627
Music: White Elephant Walk
Alan Tew
100
01:09:33,754 --> 01:09:38,258
Hey! Hiya, Barbara! Is it still
a business doing pleasure with you?
101
01:09:38,717 --> 01:09:43,513
I don't believe it! Hi!
I was just thinking about him.
102
01:09:43,847 --> 01:09:46,725
- I felt it!
- What's your name again?
- Roberta.
103
01:09:46,975 --> 01:09:49,978
- Curly, this is Roberta.
- It's very nice to meet you.
104
01:09:50,270 --> 01:09:52,814
- Mmm. Very nice to meet you.
Did you get off well?
- I loved it!
105
01:09:53,065 --> 01:09:57,402
- Good.
- She's real nice.
- Yeah. Real nice.
106
01:09:58,862 --> 01:10:02,824
- Much nicer than that other bitch.
- What other bitch?
107
01:10:03,367 --> 01:10:06,745
- We had a little PAP.
- PAP? What's that?
108
01:10:06,995 --> 01:10:08,955
Protestant American Princess.
109
01:10:09,206 --> 01:10:15,796
So we had this little PAP working for us,
and to set her straight we let Curly
at her to act out one of his fantasies.
110
01:10:29,101 --> 01:10:33,063
Music: Dossier
Brian Bennett
111
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:53,133
Music: The Big One
Alan Tew
112
01:21:09,449 --> 01:21:13,411
Music: Big Haul
Brian Bennett
113
01:21:23,004 --> 01:21:28,843
- Where are we going to do this tomorrow?
- How about in the restaurant again, upstairs?
114
01:21:29,302 --> 01:21:30,470
Yeah.
115
01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:40,646
- Table please.
- Ah yes, we'll have your reservation
in about 5 minutes.
116
01:21:40,938 --> 01:21:43,733
- Thank you very much. It's a real
pleasure.
- I'm famished."
10466
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