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1
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:28,923
Love NPR.
2
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,921
Look at this guy. Hey, buddy.
3
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,325
That's not really called for.
4
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,800
I'm not gonna race you, bro.
5
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,570
What? Come on, bro, are you scared?
6
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,041
Nope. I have no intentions
upon breaking the law today.
7
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,328
You're not gonna break the law?
8
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,927
Hey, buddy. Check it out.
9
00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,121
Real nice. Put that badonkadonk away.
That does not make me wanna race you.
10
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,366
Faggot!
11
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,569
I'm not a homosexual person.
12
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,485
You are.
13
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,524
All right, sir. Well, this here is saying
that you are declining the insurance.
14
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,887
Not interested in GPS,
you obviously know where you're going.
15
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,162
Just sign right there. You will be good to go.
16
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,966
I gotta ask, man. You look real familiar to me.
17
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,485
We don't know each other.
Just go ahead and...
18
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,130
You used to play baseball, didn't you?
19
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:42,966
Once upon a time, yes, I did.
20
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,811
Yeah, man. Hey, baby... Can I get a picture?
21
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,451
Actually, you know what, sir,
I don't do that kind of stuff anymore.
22
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,605
I walked away from celebrity a long time ago
and I no longer take pictures, so...
23
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,920
Part of my life is over.
24
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,770
So you gonna big time us now?
25
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,207
We just rented a car from you.
We're paying customers.
26
00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,281
Yeah, I know.
27
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,886
You're paying for the rental of a Ford Focus,
not for a picture of a man.
28
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,411
Whatever. Be a dick about it.
29
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,960
You should be glad somebody wanna
take a picture with your washed-up ass.
30
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,724
Hey, Ken. How we doing?
31
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,131
- Everything cool here?
- Yeah.
32
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,931
No. I just asked him for a picture
and he got all weird and uppity and shit.
33
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,400
I wasn't being uppity.
34
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:15,324
Ken.
35
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,881
Ken would be happy
to give you a photograph, sir.
36
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,450
Just let me see your phone
and I'll take a picture.
37
00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,284
Yeah, he made it like
it was a big deal and everything.
38
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,410
I'll bet he did. That's our Ken.
39
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,724
Come on around, Ken. Step on in.
Scooch in there.
40
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,923
Get in there. Why don't everybody squeeze
in there and make a Ken sammich?
41
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,730
Good composition. Now let's see a smile.
42
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,002
- Just take the picture, Mark.
- Just smile.
43
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,243
Okay. You're doing something weird
with your eyebrows. I don't even know.
44
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,970
Right. That'll do.
45
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,964
That's it. That's the one.
46
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,168
There you go.
There's your happy memory, sir.
47
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,164
Thank you for choosing
Millennial Rent-A-Car.
48
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,800
- I'll be back.
- Yeah, you will.
49
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:53,649
Ken, let me talk to you for a second.
You gotta do the dance for the customer.
50
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,764
All right, cool?
51
00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,811
Mark, please... Mark, stop.
52
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,203
Okay. You got me, I'm knocked out.
53
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:07,721
Mark, stop it. Mark. Okay, boom, you got me.
I got beat up, okay.
54
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,370
Mark, I'm not doing the "ror-ros."
55
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,365
- Come on.
- Okay.
56
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,130
Seriously, can you please stop punching me?
57
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,363
All right. I'll tell you what.
I'm gonna take over here.
58
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:20,603
What I'm gonna have you do is go ahead
and wash down a few of the fleet just come in.
59
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,370
You know I've had a full dance card
all morning.
60
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,762
- This shit can't wait till after lunch?
- No. No, better go ahead and do it now.
61
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:30,610
I had made a sandwich that I...
Was hoping to...
62
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,648
Forget it. I'll wash the cars. Thank you, Mark.
63
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,930
This is a story of a man who won.
64
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,681
By choosing love over fame, fortune,
and countless adventures,
65
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,400
I had proven that my heart was true.
66
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,888
I had proven that I was a man
who could face any peril.
67
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,811
Hey! What are you doing? Hey!
68
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,328
And fucking crush it in the name of love.
69
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,164
You fucking son of a bitch!
70
00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,246
When I rolled back the stone
and rose like the mighty phoenix,
71
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,521
there were some who couldn't process
the uncut majesty of the event.
72
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,408
And there were some that decided to trump up
73
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,927
bullshit fraudulent life insurance claim
charges against me.
74
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,161
But I couldn't be fazed.
75
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,411
And, ultimately, I was rewarded
with the hand of my true love in matrimony.
76
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,006
I was rewarded with the birth
of a gorgeous daughter.
77
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,844
And life began to take on a beautiful rhythm.
78
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,726
In the end, Kenny Powers
didn't get what he wanted.
79
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,644
But he got what he needed.
80
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,884
He didn't win baseball, but he did win life.
81
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:48,407
Credits roll.
82
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,771
Besides them, on-set bloopers play
83
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,168
in a small box.
84
00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:56,521
Hilarious.
85
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,926
Please finish your juice.
86
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:04,926
Just finished my feature.
87
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,640
What's a feature, Daddy?
88
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:10,167
A feature is Hollywood industry jargon
for a screenplay.
89
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,651
You know what motion pictures are?
90
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,610
- Human Centipede.
- Human Centipede. Yes, Shayna.
91
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,160
- You remember when we watched that film?
- They ate the poo-poo.
92
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:18,930
That's right, they did eat the poo-poo.
93
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,566
And you know what? Those people
didn't just make that up on their own.
94
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,449
Someone had to write that they ate poo-poo.
95
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,284
That's what a feature is.
That's what a screenplay is.
96
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,441
That's what your dad just did.
97
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,285
- That movie's gross.
- Big surprise.
98
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,805
My son got scared by a horror film.
99
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,565
Shayna didn't have a problem with it.
100
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,130
Shayna, you like when they eat
the caca, right?
101
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,449
I love you. Look at you.
Eating all your carrots. Gone.
102
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,927
Toby's got a goddamn farmer's market
on his plate over there.
103
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,361
Toby, eat your fucking carrots.
104
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,924
Okay, okay.
Kenny, what is this from the bank?
105
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,001
- Did you apply for a loan?
- Yeah, word.
106
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:52,608
Yeah, yeah. This is the loan I applied for...
For the backyard swimming pool.
107
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,570
We don't have money for a pool.
108
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,445
That's why I applied for a loan.
109
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,962
Okay. You know what,
I have been running around all day
110
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,766
and we have our friends coming
in just a little bit.
111
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,570
Could you please put them to bed?
112
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,361
You know, actually, I was gonna go upstairs
and try to put a really tight playlist together
113
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,727
for us to, like, chill to tonight
when we have this dinner party.
114
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,802
Right. I... Yeah.
115
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,880
They're the priority.
116
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,851
- So I really need your help.
- I know. Just, like...
117
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,807
Super tight playlist
could just really set the night off right.
118
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,961
Okay. Yeah, cool. We don't need a playlist.
119
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,487
I'll just put
the Saturday chillax-relaxation mix on.
120
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,167
That should probably translate nicely.
Perfect.
121
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,641
I love you. I love you so much.
122
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,166
I love you.
123
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,409
I need you to finish up your juice.
124
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,804
What happened?
125
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,721
That vase fell.
Now I'm just trying to find the nightly news.
126
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,449
So I had my testosterone levels checked
the other day,
127
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,326
a couple weeks ago, and they were very low.
128
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,011
As I kind of figured they were.
129
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,680
But the doctor got me on this application.
130
00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,604
- It's like a deodorant.
- That's terrific.
131
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,051
- You just roll it on?
- Yeah.
132
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,363
It gets me into a position
mentally and hormonally
133
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,125
to a place where I am attracted to my wife.
134
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,725
Before it was like I couldn't even get near him.
135
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,362
I would wear basically nothing.
And he wouldn't even look my way.
136
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,484
And now it's great.
We're very healthy sexually,
137
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,483
- and, yeah, wonderful.
- A little too healthy.
138
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,884
Fascinating.
139
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,210
April, I heard you're being honored.
Is that true?
140
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,847
- It's really nothing.
- What is it? Tell us about it.
141
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:47,006
It's this silly award because
I just sold the most houses this year.
142
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,407
- That's so amazing. That's huge.
- Awesome, awesome.
143
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,801
Yeah.
144
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,927
Well, it's not like she sold
the most houses in the whole country,
145
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:59,410
it's just in the region or at her job
in this office, not really all the offices.
146
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,005
Yeah, just the region.
147
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,288
Big region. It's a buyer's market, though.
148
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,169
- Yeah. True.
- Well, some say.
149
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,571
Some say that the bubble's already burst
150
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,120
and that it's going the other way, too,
so who knows?
151
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,326
Who says that?
152
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,084
Just the economic reports I've been reading
153
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,605
have been talking about...
154
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,922
That just don't be so cocky with houses,
155
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,162
because it could all turn around
at any moment.
156
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:19,480
- Yeah.
- That's what I've learned.
157
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,570
Oh, my gosh.
Having a wife that's so successful...
158
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,730
I mean, most men would be like,
"I can't handle it."
159
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,930
I know this one would be terrible.
Look at the... Look at eyes. Look at his eyes.
160
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,451
Yeah, I'll do the work, you clean up.
161
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,927
He's so supportive. I mean, really is.
162
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,844
- So sweet, Kenny.
- You're like a nice big bra.
163
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,886
You are not.
164
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,409
I shouldn't tell jokes, I'm not the jokester.
165
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,084
- He is and I'll pass.
- I'm the joke man.
166
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,527
- He does impressions.
- I love your impressions.
167
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,331
- Do one for us.
- Do my mother. Do my mother.
168
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,811
It's so funny if you know her.
169
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,723
You better watch yourself.
170
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,641
You're spending too much money
on that house.
171
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,926
It's exact.
172
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,331
Well, you know what?
I can do impressions too.
173
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,164
This is your guys' kid,
the one you guys adopted.
174
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:06,600
This is him.
175
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,569
Hey, you guys don't look like my parents.
176
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,327
Where are my parents?
Where'd my mom and dad go?
177
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,529
Right? This is funny. This is your guys' kid.
178
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,527
I wish you guys would've left me
in Vietnam in the foxhole
179
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,965
- instead of taking me here.
- That's enough.
180
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,168
- To be around everyone else.
- Kenny, that's enough.
181
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,321
- Yes.
- That's enough.
182
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,243
Muggy out, isn't it?
183
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,611
Hey, once you're done in here,
I need you to drop a Benz in Charlotte.
184
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,684
I'm gonna get butt-fucked in traffic, dude.
185
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,724
Charlotte on rush hour on a Wednesday?
Ask Derrick to do it.
186
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,168
I ain't asking anybody. I'm telling you, Ken.
187
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,290
Man, I was hoping to get off early tonight,
my wife's getting honored at an event.
188
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,680
Ken.
189
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,967
- Yes, Mark. What?
- Ken.
190
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,884
You happen to know who mushed the donuts
I brought in today?
191
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,009
I broke a piece off.
I wasn't trying to eat the whole thing.
192
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,965
No. I'm not talking about breaking a piece off.
193
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:38,090
I'm talking about somebody who went in
and methodically mushed the donuts.
194
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,042
It's not like a donut got mushed accidental.
195
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,561
It was definitely
intentional mushing the donuts.
196
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,890
Well, no. I didn't...
Why am I gonna mush donuts?
197
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,206
I don't give a shit about donuts.
198
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:49,521
You broke a piece off.
199
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,365
Because I'm trying to watch my weight.
I wasn't trying to eat the whole thing.
200
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,522
Maybe some people in this job
just don't wanna come in here
201
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,171
and be seeing little gifts
just that don't mean nothing.
202
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,924
That's peace offerings, man.
203
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,809
Why does there have
to even be a peace offering?
204
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,365
Maybe if people just treated
people right around here
205
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,522
people wouldn't be trying
to have to give peace offerings.
206
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,251
- What are you trying to tell me, Ken?
- What are you trying to ask me?
207
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,129
I'm asking if you know
who mushed the donuts I brought in.
208
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,811
And what'd I tell you? I said no.
I said I broke a piece off.
209
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,041
I'm trying to watch my figure.
210
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,607
If you do hear anything, let me know.
211
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,081
Yeah.
Good luck with your investigation, inspector.
212
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,891
I'm not gonna steal anything.
You don't have to wait out here with me.
213
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,121
I'll be the judge of that.
214
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,445
All right.
215
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,881
- Here he is, come on.
- Hey.
216
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,721
Shit.
217
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,649
Is there any way
we can just sign this back here?
218
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,131
No. Come on.
219
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:02,007
Anna, what a pretty name.
220
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:03,726
Kenny Powers.
221
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:05,446
Guy Young.
222
00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,131
- Kenny fucking Powers.
- Hey.
223
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,248
- What's up, champion?
- What's happening, man?
224
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,810
- How you doing?
- My old teammate, my God.
225
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,604
- Yeah.
- What's it been, like, 15 years?
226
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,929
- Yeah, at least 15. Not since Atlanta.
- Hotlanta, right?
227
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,884
Mos def, mos def.
228
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,164
I saw this guy fucking drink firewater
out of a hooker's pussy.
229
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,571
- That's right.
- No joke.
230
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,721
- Yeah, I forgot about that.
- Right out of her pussy.
231
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,569
- And then you fucked her.
- And then I fucked her, yeah.
232
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,649
Made my dick sting a little,
because of the firewater.
233
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,165
- We were crazy back then.
- I know.
234
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,928
So what's happening here?
You guys making a movie or something?
235
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,044
No, no. We're not making a movie.
I'm not a movie star.
236
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,884
We're making a TV show.
I'm a TV star.
237
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,042
- I do Sports Sesh over here.
- Yeah. There's...
238
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,161
- That's cool.
- It's a sports show.
239
00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:43,446
I'm not familiar with the program.
240
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,329
I don't really keep up
with the sporting world anymore.
241
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,404
Hey. You got five minutes?
I can give you a Guy Young VIP tour.
242
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,527
Actually, I gotta...
243
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,523
He's dropping off
your rental car, Mr. Guy Young.
244
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,408
What do you... What are you... Why?
You rent cars now?
245
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,724
Well, actually, more or less the CEO
of like a rental car corporation.
246
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,683
Don't you have some paperwork
for him to sign?
247
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,363
Yes, Miss Pleasant, I do.
248
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,003
So here's the forms.
249
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,011
This is the other Kenny,
he's my assistant manager.
250
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,923
So sign that, right there's cool.
251
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,331
- You also are gonna sign there.
- Right here?
252
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,085
You gotta say that the gas tank is full
and if you don't bring it back full,
253
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,289
- then we will charge you for it.
- Yeah, I usually return it empty.
254
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,882
Okay. Suit yourself. TV star.
Doesn't have to worry about gas.
255
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,649
- There's your car.
- Thank you, buddy.
256
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:26,721
Hey, Kenny, before you go,
257
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:31,004
I'm hosting this charity event
at the Ballantyne Hotel Friday night.
258
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,724
It's a little upscale, a little fancy.
259
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,246
Not your cup of tea,
but right afterwards there's an after-party.
260
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,731
It's gonna be off the fucking hook.
261
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,484
I'm gonna bring
some of my guys from the show.
262
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:42,246
We hit a little pinch of vintage Kenny P.
and it'll be 1998 all over again.
263
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,560
- What do you say?
- Yeah.
264
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,205
That does sound like a good time, Guy,
265
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,011
but walked away from the party scene
a few years ago.
266
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,287
- I'm a family man now.
- Get the fuck out of here.
267
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,600
- Back up.
- No, it's true.
268
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,882
I'm... Love my family. I don't party anymore.
269
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,246
Get out of here. Shut up.
270
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,442
The only drug I get off on is my wife and kids
271
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,841
and I get fucked up on them
every single night.
272
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,366
What? I feel like I'm looking at a dead man.
273
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:06,604
I did die, and then I was born again
as a family man.
274
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,004
- Well, as long as you're happy, Kenny.
- Thrilled. Never been happier.
275
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,209
- Hey, get back to work, all right? Listen.
- You, too.
276
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,602
Maybe I'll put you on the list,
just in case you change your mind.
277
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,606
I wouldn't bother. I got a corporate takeover
I have to oversee, so I'm not gonna be able...
278
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,206
I'm gonna put you on the list anyway.
279
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,203
- Good to see you, Guy.
- Good seeing you.
280
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,282
- Take care of yourself.
- Who wants an autograph?
281
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:29,806
Her charm, her work ethic
and her tireless spirit
282
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,289
make April the best agent
I've ever worked with.
283
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,329
I'd truly be lost without her.
284
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:39,286
So, without further ado, our MVP,
285
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,723
the one and only, April Powers.
286
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,968
You like me, you really like me.
287
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,529
Well, first off,
I just wanna thank everyone that I work with.
288
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,168
You have been so good to me.
289
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,643
You have taught me the tools
that I have needed to succeed.
290
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:03,971
But most of all,
I wanna thank my husband, Kenny,
291
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,326
who has always been so supportive of me
no matter what.
292
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,850
When I've been working late,
he takes care of the kids,
293
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,567
cleaning the poopy diapers, singing lullabies,
294
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,525
cooking for them.
295
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,566
He has become quite the little cook.
296
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,328
Also, when it's just been a rough day,
I'm excited to go home
297
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:33,325
because I know that there is a back rub
and a bubble bath waiting for me.
298
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,681
Awww!
299
00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:41,044
So thank you for standing right behind me.
300
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,210
You truly are my wonderful husband.
301
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,921
Fuck! Shit!
302
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,726
Shit! Fuck you!
303
00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,889
Cunt! Shit!
304
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,890
Shit! Crap fucking shit!
305
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,245
- God damn it!
- There you are.
306
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,368
I was looking for you. What is wrong?
307
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,807
Nothing. Just that place smells bad inside.
308
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,202
Smells like dog shit and pot stickers.
Trying to get some fresh air.
309
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,408
Kenny, what is going on? You can tell me.
310
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,650
I don't know.
311
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:29,288
Just sitting in there
and everyone's clapping for you.
312
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,331
Must think of me like some kind of dipshit.
I feel like fucking Tim Robbins in there.
313
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,926
Everyone's smiling at me, bitching me out.
314
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,009
So because I'm achieving something
that makes you a bitch?
315
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:39,161
Yes, April.
316
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,526
Every single morning I wake up,
317
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,126
I think about the fact
that I fucking walked away from baseball.
318
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,324
I gotta suck my fucking soul in,
put a smile on my face,
319
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,444
go about my day.
320
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,126
You have so much to be proud of.
321
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,208
Like what? My shitty job?
322
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,011
- Our lame-ass friends?
- Your kids.
323
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,210
Well, Shayna's pretty cool
but she's never gonna be a ball player.
324
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,681
Toby.
Always trying to challenge my authority.
325
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,445
Little motherfucker thinks
he's the head of the household. Fuck him.
326
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,207
You think it's easy for me?
Watching you mope around the house.
327
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,124
Mope. Ain't nobody moping.
328
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,442
You know what?
329
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,844
I'm gonna go in there.
And I'm gonna try to enjoy myself.
330
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,809
And I hope you will join me.
331
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,324
April.
332
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,167
I'm gonna stay out here in silent protest.
333
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:38,171
But perhaps you could grab me some
of those chili sliders, that'd be very baller.
334
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,325
Maybe some napkins. Arnold Palmer.
335
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,408
Actually, April.
336
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,641
You know what, scratch the Arnold Palmer.
Just make it a lemonade.
337
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,369
That's ridiculous, all right.
Let's be honest,
338
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,442
I mean,
there are already gay athletes in the league.
339
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,648
Just 'cause they're not vocal
doesn't mean they're not there.
340
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,210
I know Dontel ain't about that life.
341
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,569
- Are you afraid it's contagious?
- I damn sure ain't gonna find out.
342
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:34,608
No. Way. Boy.
343
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,763
I just want you to take a second, okay,
344
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,890
and just imagine
that you're sitting in a dugout
345
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,281
and you're looking across the field
and who's there in the other dugout,
346
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,807
is AIDS. A team of AIDS.
347
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:56,324
Baseball cap on and a uniform.
All skinny with lesions.
348
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,369
Saying, "I wanna get in you.
349
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,205
"I wanna get my AIDS right up in you.
350
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:04,170
"I wanna give this man AIDS.
I wanna give this beautiful woman AIDS.
351
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,685
"I wanna give this whole table AIDS."
352
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,728
Well, not on my watch.
Not on Guy Young's watch.
353
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:12,481
We're not gonna let AIDS
get more hits than us.
354
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,882
We're not gonna let AIDS
strike out more people than us.
355
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,320
No, sir. Not on my watch.
356
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,564
Let's take out our checkbooks.
Let's take out our wallets.
357
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:25,163
And let's all be heroes together
and win the World Series against AIDS. Okay?
358
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,520
Let's find a cure.
359
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,768
Let's find a cure for AIDS.
360
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,002
Shit, dude. An AIDS charity.
That's a fucking pretty big deal.
361
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,448
Yeah, man. All the top dogs
have their own AIDS charities.
362
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,522
War torn countries and natural disasters,
363
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,683
they come and go,
but the A-train keeps on rollin'.
364
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,364
You're a good fit for AIDS, man.
I'm happy for you.
365
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,010
- That's awesome.
- Thank you. Hey, Jed.
366
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,731
Bring the boys over.
367
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,929
Kenny Powers,
I want you to meet my Sports Sesh cohorts.
368
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,367
This is three-time Winston Cup champion,
Jed Forney.
369
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,210
Hall of Fame linebacker, Jimmy Clay.
370
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,363
And last but not least,
former heavyweight champion of the world,
371
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,647
- Rodney "The Hammer" Garcia.
- Nice to meet you.
372
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,121
Holy shit. Well, you boys didn't forget
to eat your Wheaties?
373
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,290
Hey, you boys ready to pop some champ?
374
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:13,566
- Hell yeah.
- Sure.
375
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,291
Because I put in my brownie points,
now I'm ready to point some brownies.
376
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,930
What does "point some brownies" mean?
377
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,451
Fuck some ladies in the ass.
378
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,601
Hey!
379
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,090
Hey, another round of shots.
380
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,481
- Coconut Ciroc, all around.
- Man.
381
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,167
- Big fucking spender.
- That's so much money.
382
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,329
Shit, man. I'm bippin' daily.
383
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,080
Man, I haven't been to a VIP joint like this
in a long time.
384
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,400
It's been a while. Thank you very much.
385
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,610
Hey, don't get it twisted.
We splittin' the check now.
386
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,842
I actually only had two sexes on beaches.
387
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,161
Stop actin' like a little bitch, Kenny.
You know you rich.
388
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,691
Yeah, I'm rich.
389
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,126
Hey, I'll pay for Kenny.
390
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,202
Hell, I got so much money
I don't even know what to do with it.
391
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,001
Hey, this bastard making all that bank
selling doo-doo chicken to the poor folk.
392
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,401
Hey, don't be jealous of my chicken chain.
393
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,807
Ain't nobody jealous
of your wack-ass chicken chain.
394
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,325
Shit, you know
that chicken nasty as a motherfucker
395
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,129
if my black ass won't even eat that shit.
396
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,049
He's black and he won't eat the chicken.
397
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,650
Somebody's buying it.
398
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,567
- Hey, Guy, tell him what you got.
- You wanna know what I got?
399
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,610
I'll tell you what I got. I got...
I got two Regal Cinemas.
400
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,371
I got a Napa Auto Parts. I got eight Sbarros.
401
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,369
I got I don't know how many Subways.
402
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,763
Hey, Kenny, tell 'em what you got.
Tell 'em what you got.
403
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,844
- Don't hold back now.
- Yeah.
404
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,322
I got a modest priced home.
I got a good deal on it.
405
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,084
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
406
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,884
What else, what else? What else you got?
Come on now.
407
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,491
I got a family that loves me.
408
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,449
Loves the fuck outta me.
They really like me a lot.
409
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,000
- Seriously though...
- What the fuck is that?
410
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,366
Something real. What you got?
411
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,366
I'm about to get a pool.
412
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,366
I love pools!
413
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,522
Hey, I swim in my pool
every motherfucking day.
414
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,730
Pool! Pools!
415
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:20,960
I'm gonna get a big motherfucking pool!
416
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,161
Let's all dance!
417
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,807
Please eat your cereal,
I'm not playing around.
418
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,211
I need you to eat it right now.
419
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:05,481
Hey, that's mine!
420
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,971
No, we're not gonna run in the house, please.
421
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,527
Toby, I need you to give her
her iPad back, please.
422
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,047
Let's bring the sound down
just a decibel, please.
423
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,688
- Good morning.
- Hey, good morning.
424
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,161
- Late night?
- I guess. Hey, where's the aspirin at?
425
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,650
- Right there. In that drawer.
- Here?
426
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,322
- The coffee's ready.
- Nice.
427
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,689
And you got this.
428
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,368
Toby, please get ready for school.
I'm not gonna say it again.
429
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,251
God damn it.
430
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,810
Look at this guy. This is the guy from before.
431
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,851
Look at his little Sebring.
432
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:02,321
- Hey, I like that Sebring, bro.
- Oh, my God.
433
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,525
He is a real loser.
434
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,562
It's not nice to call people faggots.
435
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:42,401
Faggots.
436
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,963
This motherfucker's crazy.
437
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,970
What the fuck was that shit?
438
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,401
O-M-F-N-G.
439
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,009
Look at that body damage.
440
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,964
This is structural. What happened here?
441
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,763
Shit, Mark. Shit happened.
Just like the saying goes.
442
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,406
And I didn't fill it up with gas either.
443
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:18,246
Well, I'm gonna need a full report.
You're gonna have to do the paperwork.
444
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,010
Your laws mean nothing to me.
445
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,001
Last night I had a taste of the A-list.
446
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,926
And it reminded me of something
I've known for a very long time.
447
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,161
I'm better than you.
448
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,803
This little fucking parking lot here,
this may be your kingdom, your legacy.
449
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,564
It's a piss in the pool to me.
450
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,560
From this moment forward,
I'm getting what's mine.
451
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,484
Fame, money, respect, chicken chains.
452
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,969
And if you doubt that,
all of you can suck my nuts.
453
00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:46,284
Suck on them so fucking hard
you can't even breath through your mouth,
454
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,600
only through your nose,
455
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,924
but it'll be even hard to do 'cause
my fucking fat dick will be clogging that shit.
456
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,006
I'm no longer some slack-jawed
dipshit that rents cars.
457
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,209
Now I'm just back to just being
a regular to who I am.
458
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,003
You wanna fucking air battle, bitch?
Let's fucking air battle.
459
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:05,885
- Come on, man.
- You like that?
460
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,004
- Don't fake punch me.
- Put up some fucking defenses.
461
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,286
Don't air punch me.
462
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:11,124
You're not doing it good naturedly.
463
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,247
Stop, man.
464
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,481
You just connected, man.
465
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,130
Okay, I know.
That last one got away from me.
466
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,647
But that is what happens
when people get into air battles.
467
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,883
Sometimes they connect, Mark.
Sometimes they connect.
468
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:26,681
I quit.
38837
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