All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S02E04.HDTV.KILLERS.en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:06,437 David? 2 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,364 David, what is this?! 3 00:00:10,609 --> 00:00:12,333 It looks like a bike. 4 00:00:13,112 --> 00:00:14,442 Is it yours? 5 00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:17,450 Yes. Yes, it is. 6 00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,503 David, what is this doing here? 7 00:00:20,528 --> 00:00:22,229 You might wanna read the note. 8 00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,364 No, is it from Mutt? 9 00:00:24,822 --> 00:00:26,560 David! 10 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,716 No! No! 11 00:00:31,108 --> 00:00:32,763 I feel like he really gets you. 12 00:00:32,788 --> 00:00:35,841 Like, I feel like he sees like, deep into your soul. 13 00:00:35,896 --> 00:00:38,132 I'm not quite sure what he's seeing exactly, 14 00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:40,566 but there's definitely - he's looking inward. 15 00:00:40,601 --> 00:00:42,574 - What am I gonna do?! - About what? 16 00:00:42,599 --> 00:00:43,917 This is serious, David! 17 00:00:43,942 --> 00:00:45,271 This is so off base! 18 00:00:45,305 --> 00:00:46,958 Arghh! 19 00:00:47,174 --> 00:00:49,292 My God, imagine what kind of ring he'd buy! 20 00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:50,591 Like an opal, or something. 21 00:00:50,616 --> 00:00:52,786 Ooh, like a pear-shaped opal. 22 00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:55,355 Hello, is anybody home? 23 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:56,488 No, Mutt! 24 00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:59,251 Hey, you have to support me in this. 25 00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,544 - Mhmm. - You have to, do you promise me? 26 00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:03,751 Oh yeah, of course. 27 00:01:06,659 --> 00:01:10,341 - So... - Hey you! 28 00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:13,771 This is so special for me. 29 00:01:13,796 --> 00:01:16,230 Well, I thought you needed a new mode of transportation. 30 00:01:16,255 --> 00:01:17,692 I do! 31 00:01:17,717 --> 00:01:20,700 I do need a mode of transportation! 32 00:01:20,725 --> 00:01:24,769 And like, a car would be nice, but, do I need a car? 33 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:27,021 Not anymore, it appears. 34 00:01:27,271 --> 00:01:29,464 Well, you said you missed spin class, so... 35 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:30,648 I did! 36 00:01:30,682 --> 00:01:32,315 I did say that I missed spin class. 37 00:01:32,349 --> 00:01:34,551 And so you bought me a bike! 38 00:01:34,585 --> 00:01:36,586 Because I said that I missed spin class. 39 00:01:36,620 --> 00:01:39,536 Because you're so thoughtful and perceptive. 40 00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:43,133 - So you like it? - Mm, I'd say she loves it. 41 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,278 - Mm-hmm. - Well, you're gonna need this. 42 00:01:46,138 --> 00:01:48,347 A helmet! 43 00:01:48,372 --> 00:01:49,498 It came with the bike. 44 00:01:49,532 --> 00:01:51,091 I think you should put it on. 45 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,293 Like, I think you should actually like, 46 00:01:52,318 --> 00:01:54,686 - like, put the helmet on. - Yeah. 47 00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:56,871 And I will one day, 48 00:01:56,906 --> 00:01:59,638 when we take this little pony for a joyride! 49 00:01:59,663 --> 00:02:01,927 Actually, I brought my bike, so we can test it out. 50 00:02:01,952 --> 00:02:04,427 I thought maybe we could take a little ride to the cafe. 51 00:02:04,681 --> 00:02:06,739 Ah! So fun. 52 00:02:07,182 --> 00:02:09,049 I hate you, David! 53 00:02:10,185 --> 00:02:11,218 See 'ya! 54 00:02:14,958 --> 00:02:18,034 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 55 00:02:25,997 --> 00:02:27,856 What about lamps? 56 00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:30,704 The lamps at the motel have those uh... 57 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,761 Little bulbs, 58 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:35,408 these are old-fashioned big bulb lamps. 59 00:02:35,443 --> 00:02:37,444 I don't see any bulbs here. 60 00:02:37,478 --> 00:02:39,145 No there aren't, but the point is, 61 00:02:39,179 --> 00:02:41,580 we can get big bulbs if we have big bulb lamps. 62 00:02:41,615 --> 00:02:43,949 Oh John, I don't know. 63 00:02:43,983 --> 00:02:46,752 Lamps, clothing, jewelry... 64 00:02:46,786 --> 00:02:48,487 Look at this poor woman's life 65 00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:52,333 strewn across cheap folding tables. 66 00:02:53,253 --> 00:02:55,854 John, do you think they did this with our things? 67 00:02:56,505 --> 00:02:58,028 No, not ours, no. 68 00:02:58,063 --> 00:02:59,974 They put our stuff right on the lawn. 69 00:03:01,176 --> 00:03:05,012 Strangers picking through precious pieces we owned! 70 00:03:05,437 --> 00:03:07,372 I know, and judging us, 71 00:03:07,406 --> 00:03:09,140 like we're judging this poor woman. 72 00:03:09,403 --> 00:03:10,642 Well, except they'd have been saying, 73 00:03:10,683 --> 00:03:12,888 "what great taste they had!" 74 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,345 I wonder who got my golf clubs. 75 00:03:15,614 --> 00:03:17,996 Really, John, that's the first thing that comes to mind? 76 00:03:18,169 --> 00:03:20,231 They were custom made. 77 00:03:20,256 --> 00:03:23,225 So was my Galapagonian tortoise-shell foot bath. 78 00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,389 And now some lonely hoarder 79 00:03:25,423 --> 00:03:27,505 is letting his cats poop in it. 80 00:03:27,530 --> 00:03:31,860 Well, they were just things, Moira, just things. 81 00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:34,930 Yeah, designer, one-of-a-kind things. 82 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:39,201 Yeah, sleek, oak-trimmed, leather interior, 83 00:03:39,235 --> 00:03:41,989 - German-engineered things. - Oh! 84 00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:44,810 Shopping used to cheer me up. 85 00:03:45,175 --> 00:03:47,474 Big bulbs is not doing it for me. 86 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,294 Oh God. 87 00:03:56,185 --> 00:03:58,855 - Roland! - Sure, I'll come in, but just for a second. 88 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,505 Ahem! 89 00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:03,224 Huh! 90 00:04:03,258 --> 00:04:05,138 Can I help you with something? 91 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:08,872 Well um, here's the deal: 92 00:04:08,897 --> 00:04:11,052 Uh, I was thinking this morning, 93 00:04:11,077 --> 00:04:12,375 and I don't wanna tell you where I was thinking, 94 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,801 but it was a small room in my house, 95 00:04:13,835 --> 00:04:15,075 - and I was sitting down... - Okay. 96 00:04:15,114 --> 00:04:17,263 And I was thinking to myself, 97 00:04:17,288 --> 00:04:21,755 who can I trust to help me pick out a woman's blouse? 98 00:04:23,114 --> 00:04:25,263 And you know whose name came to mind? 99 00:04:25,846 --> 00:04:27,794 I don't-i don't know, Rachel Zoe? 100 00:04:28,325 --> 00:04:29,549 Yours! 101 00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:31,884 I don't know how to take that. 102 00:04:31,918 --> 00:04:34,721 - It's for Jocelyn. - Mm! 103 00:04:34,755 --> 00:04:36,472 And you know, I would do it myself, 104 00:04:36,497 --> 00:04:38,224 it's just that you know, shopping, 105 00:04:38,258 --> 00:04:40,291 I mean, you go in, you get... 106 00:04:40,326 --> 00:04:42,561 - You know, look at the stuff on the racks, - Uh huh... 107 00:04:42,595 --> 00:04:45,063 and you pick out, you know, the color that you like, 108 00:04:45,097 --> 00:04:47,265 and then you try it on and make sure it fits you, 109 00:04:47,299 --> 00:04:49,334 - Right. - and then you buy it and you... 110 00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:51,169 You're just describing what shopping is. 111 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:54,239 Yes, and normally I'm fine with that, 112 00:04:54,273 --> 00:04:57,908 it's just I'm looking for something a little fancy here. 113 00:04:57,942 --> 00:05:01,144 A little um, stylish. A little elegant. 114 00:05:01,179 --> 00:05:03,046 - Ah... - You know? 115 00:05:03,081 --> 00:05:05,750 And who knows elegance better than you, pal? 116 00:05:05,784 --> 00:05:08,966 I mean, you're the only elegant guy I know! 117 00:05:09,177 --> 00:05:12,513 So you're looking for me to style Jocelyn? 118 00:05:13,424 --> 00:05:15,919 Well, actually, this is supposed to be a surprise. 119 00:05:16,059 --> 00:05:18,372 So I was kinda thinking that maybe um, 120 00:05:18,397 --> 00:05:21,899 you and me could just go out and do a little uh, 121 00:05:22,099 --> 00:05:24,411 shopping together on the down low. 122 00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:30,833 Y-yeah... yeah, that um... 123 00:05:31,216 --> 00:05:33,141 No, we could to that, we could do that at some point. 124 00:05:33,175 --> 00:05:34,997 Oh, great! Yeah. Yeah. 125 00:05:35,022 --> 00:05:36,564 Good, that's terrific. 126 00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:40,022 So then, whenever's good for you. 127 00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:41,747 Okay, great. 128 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:48,528 So you wanna-so you wanna go now? 129 00:05:48,553 --> 00:05:51,225 It's a little time sensitive, that's the only thing. 130 00:05:51,259 --> 00:05:52,878 Yeah, okay, well, I take it you have measurements, 131 00:05:52,903 --> 00:05:54,481 and a mood board, then? 132 00:05:54,985 --> 00:05:56,853 The whole purpose of having a bike 133 00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:59,347 might be to actually ride the bike. 134 00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:00,972 Yeah, I'm just not wearing the right outfit. 135 00:06:01,102 --> 00:06:02,637 It's a five minute ride. 136 00:06:02,671 --> 00:06:04,270 Yeah, so by the time we get on, 137 00:06:04,305 --> 00:06:06,411 and then we get off, it's almost not worth it. 138 00:06:07,427 --> 00:06:09,208 Do you not like the bike? 139 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:12,708 No, I love it! It's just that, um, 140 00:06:12,733 --> 00:06:15,181 there are so many drunk drivers around here. 141 00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:17,026 It's 10:00am. 142 00:06:17,051 --> 00:06:19,319 Mutt, you tell that to an alcoholic! 143 00:06:19,353 --> 00:06:20,519 Is it the color? Because I mean, 144 00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,721 - it's totally fixable! - Okay, fine. 145 00:06:22,756 --> 00:06:24,396 I don't know how to ride a bike. 146 00:06:24,421 --> 00:06:27,722 - What? - I said, I don't know how to ride a bike! 147 00:06:29,286 --> 00:06:33,067 Ugh! 148 00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:41,238 Moira, look at these cufflinks. 149 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,356 Oh John, 150 00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:45,309 we're better off stealing cutlery from the cafe! 151 00:06:45,344 --> 00:06:47,411 No, these look like sterling. 152 00:06:47,446 --> 00:06:49,146 I'm gonna bid on these. 153 00:06:49,294 --> 00:06:51,015 Hey there, Roses! 154 00:06:51,049 --> 00:06:52,584 - Oh, hi. - Oh hey, Jocelyn. 155 00:06:52,618 --> 00:06:53,785 Look at you two bargain hunters. 156 00:06:53,819 --> 00:06:55,853 You finding anything yet? 157 00:06:55,887 --> 00:06:57,454 Mm, nothing you couldn't see fall out of a common 158 00:06:57,489 --> 00:06:59,690 Christmas cracker! 159 00:06:59,724 --> 00:07:01,859 I think half the fun is panning for nuggets 160 00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:05,294 - at these things. - Ooh, look at that mattress! 161 00:07:06,163 --> 00:07:08,599 Well, there you go, what a find. 162 00:07:08,633 --> 00:07:11,083 Poor dear, enchanted by a death bed. 163 00:07:11,108 --> 00:07:13,503 This is a brand new mattress, it's still in the plastic! 164 00:07:13,537 --> 00:07:15,325 - What?! - Yeah! 165 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:18,440 And it's memory foam! This must've cost a fortune! 166 00:07:18,475 --> 00:07:20,466 Well, you're just gonna have to bid on it. 167 00:07:20,528 --> 00:07:23,479 John, why didn't you see that mattress first?! 168 00:07:23,514 --> 00:07:25,515 That's something we could actually use! 169 00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:28,117 - I'll use the cufflinks! - What size is it? 170 00:07:28,151 --> 00:07:30,442 Oh I don't know, it's at least a queen. 171 00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:33,889 Well, that's too big to get home. 172 00:07:33,923 --> 00:07:36,491 - No, we got the truck. - But awkward, Jocelyn, 173 00:07:36,526 --> 00:07:39,093 and awkward with those tiny doorways of yours. 174 00:07:39,128 --> 00:07:40,829 Johnny, help me cover it up. 175 00:07:40,863 --> 00:07:42,296 I don't want other people to see it. 176 00:07:46,635 --> 00:07:48,636 Now, we need a top, and we need a bottom. 177 00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:50,571 Like a skirt, something like that, 178 00:07:50,605 --> 00:07:52,740 which I know you're familiar with 'cause you're wearing one. 179 00:07:52,774 --> 00:07:54,842 Okay, these are pants that just so happen to have 180 00:07:54,876 --> 00:07:57,978 a pant fabric over the front and back... Okay. 181 00:07:58,013 --> 00:08:00,313 Yeah, it's a skirt. Um, what about this? 182 00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:02,115 It seems durable, yes? 183 00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:04,851 Yeah um, in fashion, durable and elegant 184 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,619 rarely go hand in hand. 185 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,417 So I'd put that... put that back. 186 00:08:09,442 --> 00:08:11,290 Okay, so not that. 187 00:08:11,456 --> 00:08:13,270 What about this? 188 00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:16,747 Jocelyn seems to like loud floral prints. 189 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,699 Yeah, the thing is, um, this is kind of a special... 190 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:23,427 - Kind of blouse. - Uh-huh. 191 00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:25,270 Have you ever seen "The Devil Wears Prada?" 192 00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,439 - Obviously! - Okay, well, 193 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:30,676 Meryl Streep plays this kind of powerful, sexy fashion woman... 194 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,478 - Yep, I've seen it! - Okay, anyway, 195 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,246 Jocelyn and I like to have a little fun with that idea, 196 00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,181 if you know what I mean. 197 00:08:37,215 --> 00:08:39,216 She plays Meryl, and I play the nervous 198 00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:41,724 but ambitious intern who's new to the city. 199 00:08:44,036 --> 00:08:45,623 Oh, so you're the... 200 00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:47,966 So you-you're the Anne Hathaway in that situation? 201 00:08:48,393 --> 00:08:50,153 I don't know who that is. 202 00:08:50,464 --> 00:08:52,745 Well, that's more than enough information for me to go on. 203 00:08:54,997 --> 00:08:56,810 - You're judging me! - I'm not! 204 00:08:56,849 --> 00:08:59,152 It's just riding a bike is a pretty basic skill. 205 00:08:59,177 --> 00:09:00,927 Mm, is it though? 206 00:09:00,952 --> 00:09:03,106 I think that most kids learn how to ride a bike! 207 00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:05,489 Yeah well, most kids also get head lice. 208 00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:07,811 I'm sorry if the opportunity never presented itself. 209 00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,879 Oh what, there was no gap year in Belgium? 210 00:09:09,914 --> 00:09:12,147 No tour de France boyfriend? 211 00:09:12,181 --> 00:09:14,185 Yeah, but I never had to ride the bike! 212 00:09:16,185 --> 00:09:18,988 And David, was such a little drama queen 213 00:09:19,022 --> 00:09:20,911 when my parents tried teaching him, 214 00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:23,104 that they threw all the bikes into this big bonfire 215 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:25,597 up in the Hamptons, and we never talked about it again. 216 00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:27,646 Oh. 217 00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:31,081 Anyway, I have lots of skills that you don't have. 218 00:09:31,106 --> 00:09:32,433 I am sure that you do. 219 00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:34,135 Like, have you ever had to negotiate in Arabic? 220 00:09:34,169 --> 00:09:36,153 - It is very difficult. - I believe you. 221 00:09:36,178 --> 00:09:37,772 And try getting into "Kiss Kiss" in Tokyo 222 00:09:37,806 --> 00:09:39,607 without a lock of human hair. 223 00:09:39,642 --> 00:09:41,442 Now, you see, if you can do all that, 224 00:09:41,476 --> 00:09:43,344 I'm pretty sure that you can learn to ride a bike. 225 00:09:47,209 --> 00:09:48,509 Alexis? 226 00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:53,355 Sorry, I was just thinking about this crazy night 227 00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:54,833 at "Kiss Kiss." 228 00:10:02,583 --> 00:10:05,356 Well, this might be the closest we're gonna get to Meryl. 229 00:10:05,635 --> 00:10:09,089 You know, if she got fired from her job at the magazine, 230 00:10:09,114 --> 00:10:11,044 and started walking the streets. 231 00:10:11,396 --> 00:10:13,973 Oh, that's a good one! We haven't tried that one yet. 232 00:10:14,007 --> 00:10:15,875 - Yeah, I wouldn't. - No, it's a good idea. 233 00:10:15,909 --> 00:10:18,130 Missing Peter Pan? 234 00:10:19,849 --> 00:10:21,579 I'm sorry? 235 00:10:21,613 --> 00:10:24,675 Well, because I see a couple of "Lost Boys." 236 00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:32,300 Hi, I'm Wendy. Are we shopping for a mother, a girlfriend? 237 00:10:32,325 --> 00:10:34,125 - Actually, my wife. - Oh! 238 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,488 Yeah, we've got it under control though, 239 00:10:35,513 --> 00:10:36,626 so thank you so much. 240 00:10:36,661 --> 00:10:38,724 Oh well, very well, then. 241 00:10:38,897 --> 00:10:41,999 If you need me, I'll be right here. 242 00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,267 I know how hard it can be for two men 243 00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:46,606 in a women's clothing store. 244 00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:48,739 Well, I'm actually in really good hands, 245 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,075 because this man has a woman's touch. 246 00:10:51,388 --> 00:10:53,888 I don't... I don't know what that means. 247 00:10:57,371 --> 00:10:59,371 Okay, so we're going with these two pieces. 248 00:10:59,396 --> 00:11:03,766 Oh well, I have to ask, is this for a funeral? 249 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,902 Because we do offer bereavement discounts. 250 00:11:06,936 --> 00:11:08,604 No, why would you think that? 251 00:11:08,638 --> 00:11:12,274 Well, just very somber, serious pieces. 252 00:11:12,308 --> 00:11:14,030 Well, we don't want that! 253 00:11:14,055 --> 00:11:16,210 Well, they're not... If you're willing, 254 00:11:16,245 --> 00:11:18,413 I have a few new pieces that just came in, 255 00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:20,584 I'd love for you to see them. 256 00:11:20,609 --> 00:11:22,752 I just don't know if we need to be adding any more options to the mix. 257 00:11:22,777 --> 00:11:24,285 Well, if she's offering, what's the problem? 258 00:11:24,319 --> 00:11:27,885 Everything in here is like one big, tacky blouse. 259 00:11:27,910 --> 00:11:30,230 Oh, come on, that's silly. 260 00:11:30,535 --> 00:11:34,294 Now, I know you men like to play it safe, 261 00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:37,631 but I just thought, why not shake it up? 262 00:11:37,665 --> 00:11:40,233 - Ugh! - Oh, I like these! 263 00:11:40,268 --> 00:11:42,469 - Um... Hmm? - Mhmm! 264 00:11:42,504 --> 00:11:44,872 - Are they durable? - Oh well, 265 00:11:44,906 --> 00:11:47,807 durability a given here at the "Blouse Barn." 266 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,442 And if you're asking my opinion... 267 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,511 Are we, though? 268 00:11:51,951 --> 00:11:54,285 It's between these two. 269 00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:58,785 Well, this is a real "Sophie's Choice!" 270 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,820 I hope that you and Jocelyn don't role play that at home. 271 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,221 Hell, we've played every Streep movie. 272 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,300 Oh, okay. Um... 273 00:12:04,652 --> 00:12:07,692 Would you describe either of those as "quick release?" 274 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,916 Funnily enough, both have snaps. 275 00:12:10,941 --> 00:12:12,597 Oh, great! 276 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,558 Well, then I guess I um... 277 00:12:16,308 --> 00:12:17,761 Well... 278 00:12:18,931 --> 00:12:21,675 Uh, which one do you like? 279 00:12:24,342 --> 00:12:26,510 I don't know, it's such a tough choice. 280 00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,546 Oh, you're tellin' me! 281 00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,314 It's just that I'm finding both of these options 282 00:12:30,348 --> 00:12:32,941 - to be a little um... - What? 283 00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:35,052 Well, I don't know, we've just spent so much time 284 00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:38,877 and energy finding the few pieces that aren't um... 285 00:12:38,902 --> 00:12:41,157 - Uh... - What?! 286 00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:43,059 I'm trying to find the word to describe what I... 287 00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:45,462 Oh! Flirty? Sassy? 288 00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:48,665 Skanky! I think the clothes are a bit skanky. 289 00:12:48,699 --> 00:12:51,033 Hmm. 290 00:12:51,443 --> 00:12:54,277 Well! Skanky. 291 00:12:54,638 --> 00:12:58,558 We'll um, take the funereal skirt then, 292 00:12:59,535 --> 00:13:01,910 and the skanky blouse. 293 00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:04,179 And sold! 294 00:13:04,213 --> 00:13:06,849 To Johnny Rose, for the price of $15 dollars! 295 00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:08,550 Which uh, I hope you can afford. 296 00:13:08,585 --> 00:13:10,752 You know, considering your financial situation. 297 00:13:10,787 --> 00:13:12,454 Yeah, I get it Ray, I get it. I get it. 298 00:13:12,488 --> 00:13:15,255 I've got cash, and I'd just like my cufflinks, please. 299 00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,725 And now, moving on to bedroom items. 300 00:13:17,759 --> 00:13:21,105 First we'll have a brand new queen sized 301 00:13:21,152 --> 00:13:23,121 memory foam mattress. 302 00:13:23,146 --> 00:13:25,366 We'll start the bidding on the bed at $50 dollars. 303 00:13:25,832 --> 00:13:27,496 We have $50! 304 00:13:28,027 --> 00:13:29,870 - $60! - Moira. 305 00:13:29,904 --> 00:13:32,549 - Ssh! - Ooh, I smell a bidding war! 306 00:13:32,574 --> 00:13:34,385 - Do we have $70? - $70! 307 00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:35,976 $70! Do I have $75? 308 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:38,411 - $75! - Moira, what are you doing? 309 00:13:38,445 --> 00:13:40,113 We are currently sleeping on a rectangular collection 310 00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:41,549 of knives and barbed wire, John. 311 00:13:41,574 --> 00:13:43,416 $75, do we have $80? 312 00:13:43,441 --> 00:13:44,718 - $80! - $80! 313 00:13:44,752 --> 00:13:46,919 - $90! - Moira, we can't afford this! 314 00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:48,821 - You got the cufflinks! - For $15 dollars! 315 00:13:48,855 --> 00:13:50,990 - $90! Do we have $100? - $100! 316 00:13:51,024 --> 00:13:53,652 - $100! - You just bid against yourself! 317 00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:54,550 Do I hear $105? 318 00:13:54,575 --> 00:13:57,143 Do you remember what we used to sleep on? Texas Kings! 319 00:13:57,168 --> 00:14:00,627 - $130! - Wow, $130! Do I hear $135? 320 00:14:00,652 --> 00:14:02,300 - $140! - $150! 321 00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:04,235 - $160! - Moira, I'm begging you! 322 00:14:04,269 --> 00:14:06,203 Oh, she has a decent bed, John, 323 00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:07,471 - she's just being greedy! - $165, anyone? 324 00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:09,641 - $170! - You did it again! 325 00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:11,175 - I know what I'm doing! - $170! $180? 326 00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:13,096 - Ray, I think we're done here! - $180! 327 00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:15,580 $180! Do I hear $190? 328 00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:18,150 One-nine... two hundred! 329 00:14:18,175 --> 00:14:20,551 $200! Wow, Mrs. Rose. 330 00:14:20,585 --> 00:14:23,253 You're really going for it, which is surprising... 331 00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:26,056 Yeah, Ray, you know what, that was just a joke bid, so. 332 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:27,925 Oh, I understand. 333 00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:29,392 Unfortunately that joke bid is currently our highest 334 00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:31,494 at $200 dollars! 335 00:14:31,529 --> 00:14:35,238 Going once, going twice, two hundred and one! 336 00:14:35,466 --> 00:14:40,011 - $201 going once, going twice, - Don't! 337 00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:44,173 Sold, to Jocelyn Schitt, for $201 dollars. 338 00:14:50,614 --> 00:14:53,293 Well, thank you for this delightful trip. 339 00:14:53,318 --> 00:14:55,307 You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that uh, 340 00:14:55,332 --> 00:14:56,585 you're a little upset. 341 00:14:56,619 --> 00:14:58,319 What would give you that impression? 342 00:14:58,353 --> 00:15:00,388 Well, I first noticed it when heart came on, 343 00:15:00,422 --> 00:15:03,441 and nobody was taking the high parts. 344 00:15:03,660 --> 00:15:06,160 - Oh my God! - Look you should feel good about yourself! 345 00:15:06,195 --> 00:15:08,830 Come on, you made some great choices today. 346 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,088 Nothing we bought today came anywhere close 347 00:15:11,113 --> 00:15:12,541 to something Meryl Streep would wear 348 00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:14,101 in "The Devil Wears Prada," nothing! 349 00:15:14,135 --> 00:15:16,436 Oh jeez, you are so touchy! 350 00:15:16,471 --> 00:15:19,773 God, you're like a - a fancy dinner plate 351 00:15:19,808 --> 00:15:24,211 that you don't wanna nudge off the edge of the table. 352 00:15:24,245 --> 00:15:25,715 Okay, I don't know what that means. 353 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:28,444 Um listen, I don't have a lot to my name right now, 354 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,002 but I do have one thing. 355 00:15:30,027 --> 00:15:33,052 - Self-respect? - No, taste. 356 00:15:33,087 --> 00:15:35,488 And when that is not appreciated, 357 00:15:35,522 --> 00:15:39,926 or worse, publicly undermined, publicly... 358 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,061 Uh yeah, I might get a little upset. 359 00:15:42,096 --> 00:15:43,763 Look, David-David! 360 00:15:43,797 --> 00:15:46,564 Listen. 361 00:15:46,599 --> 00:15:49,234 If I wasn't so easily swayed by powerful women 362 00:15:49,268 --> 00:15:52,144 in a retail environment, I would've been there for you. 363 00:15:52,438 --> 00:15:56,074 Okay, because I honestly believe that really do 364 00:15:56,109 --> 00:15:59,808 have a very, very sharp eye. 365 00:16:01,147 --> 00:16:03,191 Thank you, that's nice of you to say. 366 00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:05,382 Trust me, when Joc sees this blouse, 367 00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:06,884 I'm gonna make sure she knows you're the one 368 00:16:06,918 --> 00:16:08,318 - that picked it out. - I didn't pick that blouse. 369 00:16:08,353 --> 00:16:09,736 I know, but I'm gonna tell her you did. 370 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,294 Okay, thanks so much. 371 00:16:18,864 --> 00:16:21,597 - This is ridiculous! - This is how you learn. 372 00:16:21,622 --> 00:16:23,041 Everyone is looking at me, Mutt! 373 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,600 No one is looking at you! 374 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,941 - Ugh! - Is everything okay? 375 00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,839 People were saying that a girl was struggling with her bike. 376 00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:32,008 I kinda just assumed it was a toddler. 377 00:16:32,043 --> 00:16:34,243 No, I am a grown adult young woman. 378 00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:35,745 Okay, this is how my dad taught me, 379 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:38,355 and this is how I'm teaching you! 380 00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:40,933 I'm glad I knew how to ride a bike when we dated. 381 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,252 Yeah, I don't really trust your dad in terms of like, 382 00:16:43,277 --> 00:16:45,160 "teachable moments." 383 00:16:45,185 --> 00:16:47,656 You know, one of my mom's boyfriends had a really great trick. 384 00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,892 He used to say, "one foot on the ground, 385 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,347 one foot on the pedal, now get the hell outta here!" 386 00:16:52,729 --> 00:16:54,569 Hey, that's fun, I like that, let's try that. 387 00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,197 Okay fine, I'm just saying, 388 00:16:56,231 --> 00:16:57,431 if it's something you never did before... 389 00:16:57,465 --> 00:16:59,754 - There you go! - Okay, wait! 390 00:16:59,779 --> 00:17:03,337 Are you coming, or do I just keep like, driving straight? 391 00:17:03,371 --> 00:17:05,272 I didn't teach you how to brake yet! 392 00:17:05,307 --> 00:17:08,042 Get the hell outta here, you dumb broad! 393 00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:10,223 That was another thing he used to say. 394 00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,490 Hey. Roland! 395 00:17:24,525 --> 00:17:26,785 Johnny, um, do you have a minute? 396 00:17:27,138 --> 00:17:29,754 - Yeah. - Come here. 397 00:17:31,285 --> 00:17:32,765 What's going on? 398 00:17:32,799 --> 00:17:34,800 Well Johnny, I'm about to make you 399 00:17:34,835 --> 00:17:38,105 the most popular guy in room 6. 400 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,972 Is this the mattress? 401 00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:42,141 Okay, yeah, I've got a big heart, 402 00:17:42,175 --> 00:17:43,743 all right, don't spread it around. 403 00:17:43,777 --> 00:17:46,394 I talked Jocelyn into letting you have it. 404 00:17:47,312 --> 00:17:49,300 You're giving us the mattress? 405 00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:52,652 Well, practically, it's yours for $200 bucks. 406 00:17:53,853 --> 00:17:55,954 That's a dollar less than you paid for it! 407 00:17:55,988 --> 00:17:58,489 Johnny, it's barely out of the plastic. 408 00:17:58,808 --> 00:18:00,183 We can't afford it. 409 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,604 Oh I see, you're the master negotiator at work here, huh? 410 00:18:04,629 --> 00:18:07,222 Okay, um, $195. 411 00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:08,899 We can't afford it! 412 00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:10,916 Okay, hardball, huh? I'll play. 413 00:18:10,941 --> 00:18:12,702 Um, $182.50. 414 00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:16,373 - All right, bye, Roland. - Fifty bucks. 415 00:18:17,105 --> 00:18:18,508 Fifty? 416 00:18:18,738 --> 00:18:21,238 Look, I'll level with you, okay? 417 00:18:21,263 --> 00:18:25,754 Um, we tried it out as soon as Jocelyn brought it home. 418 00:18:27,605 --> 00:18:29,218 You tried it out? 419 00:18:29,253 --> 00:18:30,686 Yeah, not enough bounce for the bumps, 420 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,924 - if you know what I mean. - Hmm. 421 00:18:32,949 --> 00:18:34,791 But given your advanced years, 422 00:18:34,825 --> 00:18:37,492 it might just be the thing for you and Moira. 423 00:18:37,526 --> 00:18:39,621 Yeah well, we're not that old... 424 00:18:40,569 --> 00:18:42,837 But $50? 425 00:18:46,936 --> 00:18:49,104 Kudos to you, Mr. Rose. 426 00:18:49,138 --> 00:18:50,986 I can't believe I'm saying this, 427 00:18:51,011 --> 00:18:52,807 but I'm so comfortable! 428 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:55,285 Well, only the best for you, my dear. 429 00:18:56,527 --> 00:18:58,668 Yet they didn't want it? 430 00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:02,449 Oh, I think they just felt sorry for us. 431 00:19:02,483 --> 00:19:04,597 Well, that seems strange, John. 432 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:08,183 Especially since Jocelyn paid over $200 for it. 433 00:19:08,456 --> 00:19:09,889 You know what I think, I think they tried it out, 434 00:19:09,924 --> 00:19:12,433 and uh, it just didn't work for them. 435 00:19:17,137 --> 00:19:20,941 And by tried it out, you mean... 436 00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:26,687 I mean they... tried it out. 437 00:19:26,712 --> 00:19:31,186 Eww! Oh God! No! Oh! Oh! 438 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,611 Oh God, that's memory foam, John! 439 00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,981 Oh Moira, we've stayed at Kennedy compound, 440 00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:37,582 Oh! This can't be any worse than that! 441 00:19:37,616 --> 00:19:39,284 The Kennedys aren't Roland! 442 00:19:39,319 --> 00:19:41,887 The Kennedys have regular medicals, daily laundering! 443 00:19:41,921 --> 00:19:44,222 This has gotta be better than the motel mattress 444 00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:47,730 we were using, I mean, who knows who tried that out! 445 00:19:48,093 --> 00:19:49,933 Is that supposed to be helping me?! 446 00:19:50,151 --> 00:19:53,652 Moira, this is a $50 dollar gift from heaven. 447 00:19:53,972 --> 00:19:55,566 I mean, look, hey! 448 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,793 I don't feel any springs, no nails, no bolts! 449 00:19:58,971 --> 00:20:01,660 It's comfy, come to bed. 450 00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:03,916 Tomorrow we get a mattress cover. 451 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:06,873 Yes, yes, that's the spirit. 452 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:08,131 Oh... 453 00:20:10,281 --> 00:20:13,746 - Oh! - Mm! 454 00:20:14,519 --> 00:20:16,353 Ahh... 455 00:20:19,856 --> 00:20:21,949 Seriously, don't think about it. 456 00:20:22,629 --> 00:20:24,088 Okay, *** 457 00:20:24,113 --> 00:20:25,546 I don't even wanna do this! 458 00:20:25,581 --> 00:20:26,980 David, you're gonna feel so good, trust me. 459 00:20:27,015 --> 00:20:27,972 Oh my God, you know that I have bad 460 00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:30,050 foot-eye coordination, you didn't have to wear 461 00:20:30,085 --> 00:20:31,543 corrective leg braces for three months. 462 00:20:31,568 --> 00:20:33,941 You can't blame everything on having been pigeon-toed, David. 463 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,832 - Oh my God! - Kids, your mother and I are gonna... 464 00:20:35,857 --> 00:20:38,225 Oh my God, David, what are you doing?! 465 00:20:38,259 --> 00:20:39,707 I'm teaching him how to ride a bike! 466 00:20:39,732 --> 00:20:42,662 Oh please don't, you know I can't stand the sight of blood. 467 00:20:42,697 --> 00:20:44,396 Seriously son, you're gonna hurt yourself! 468 00:20:44,431 --> 00:20:46,298 David, it is one foot on the pedal, 469 00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,134 and one foot on the ground, and then get the hell out of here! 470 00:20:48,168 --> 00:20:49,401 Okay? I don't know what that means. 471 00:20:49,436 --> 00:20:51,237 Okay, I'm gonna hold the back. 472 00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:52,705 Aah! He's coming, come on, come on! 473 00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:54,441 Oh, okay-aah! Aah! Aah! 474 00:20:54,466 --> 00:20:56,976 David, the pedals make it move more! 475 00:20:57,010 --> 00:21:00,019 - John, he's doing it! - You're doing it, son! 476 00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:03,896 Oh my God. 477 00:21:06,052 --> 00:21:07,986 - Yay! - Woo Hoo Hoo! 478 00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:09,465 Hey, someone get my camera! 479 00:21:09,490 --> 00:21:12,523 - Nobody get a camera! - David! Over here! 480 00:21:19,191 --> 00:21:20,798 Alexis. 481 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,621 I'm sleeping! 482 00:21:23,736 --> 00:21:25,550 Oh, honey. 483 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:26,837 Honey, I need to ask you 484 00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:27,938 a serious question, 485 00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:29,206 has it gotten worse or are you 486 00:21:29,208 --> 00:21:31,465 just not wearing any makeup? 487 00:21:32,418 --> 00:21:37,644 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 36104

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.