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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,427 You know how to scream, yes or no? 2 00:00:11,950 --> 00:00:12,985 That's it! 3 00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:17,422 When I raise my arms, you applaud! 4 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,590 My hands around my mouth means you boo! 5 00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:29,545 That's it! 6 00:00:32,590 --> 00:00:34,899 I'll leave you, the show's about to start. 7 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:36,862 So have a good time, 8 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,664 don't let me down, my job's to work you up 9 00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:42,100 so you set the house on fire! 10 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:36,501 It's Tissue Time! 11 00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:50,427 I'm the smiling robot who obeys remote controls. 12 00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:53,224 Tonight the robot's tired, upset, coming apart! 13 00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:54,988 I can't clown all day! 14 00:01:55,190 --> 00:01:58,387 I only despair when you're emotionless! 15 00:01:58,590 --> 00:02:02,469 But just you wait, I promise you, I'll make you weep! 16 00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,103 Good evening everyone! 17 00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:10,224 Welcome to It's Tissue Time! 18 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,379 OK? Everything fine? 19 00:02:16,590 --> 00:02:17,545 Fine. 20 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:20,105 - More champagne? - No, I'll be drunk! 21 00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:22,141 Shall we go? 22 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:35,822 Not too stressed? You'll be fine. 23 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:41,380 ANYTHING YOU SAY 24 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:42,625 Hi. 25 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,708 TV Week wants you for a cover story. 26 00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:48,219 They'll do photos when you can fit it in. 27 00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,419 Later. 28 00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:52,264 We've turned them down once. I'll handle it. 29 00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:55,906 Your plane won't be ready Tuesday. Do I rent one? 30 00:02:56,110 --> 00:02:59,466 Your wife says she won't take a regular flight. 31 00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:01,342 Figure it out, I pay you for that! 32 00:03:05,710 --> 00:03:08,990 This 32nd broadcast of It's Tissue Time 33 00:03:08,950 --> 00:03:10,747 is more than just a show, 34 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,503 it'll be a real festival. 35 00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,749 We've got some rare human specimens, 36 00:03:15,950 --> 00:03:18,783 the driest sticks you ever saw! 37 00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:23,821 And to prove it to you, here's our first candidate. 38 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:27,230 Let's have a big hand for Micheline Berton! 39 00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:31,549 You OK, Micheline? 40 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,990 Guess so... 41 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:37,541 As you know, we've got someone who'll say things... 42 00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:40,545 Things that'll upset you a lot. 43 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:42,263 - But that's what we're here for! - Sure. 44 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:45,503 So please all boo Mr. Daniel Benard! 45 00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:47,946 "Down with Benard!" 46 00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:06,343 So, Daniel, you're Micheline's neighbor? 47 00:04:07,270 --> 00:04:08,464 Correct. 48 00:04:08,670 --> 00:04:09,466 Your occupation? 49 00:04:09,670 --> 00:04:11,865 Storm-window installer. 50 00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:15,140 Daniel, why do you spy 51 00:04:15,350 --> 00:04:16,703 on your neighbors? 52 00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:18,582 He eavesdrops! I can't go out! 53 00:04:18,790 --> 00:04:20,462 Shut up, bitch! 54 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,740 - Take it easy! - I won't! 55 00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:26,660 Her mutt yaps all day! My ears are sore! Old biddy! 56 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,426 Am I right? Answer, floozie! 57 00:04:32,110 --> 00:04:33,384 It's true, dammit! 58 00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:36,866 Let Daniel speak. He must have his reasons. 59 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:42,306 Micheline, I hear your little dog has disappeared. 60 00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:43,545 Yes... 61 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,867 He ran away 2 weeks ago, first time in 10 years. 62 00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:50,260 Daniel... 63 00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:55,190 You're not blameless in all this. Right, Danny? 64 00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:59,898 May he who never goofed throw the first stone! 65 00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:03,140 - It was an accident... - Before going further, 66 00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:06,740 let's go see where it all took place. 67 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:09,623 A video feature by Alain Attal and Nicolas Mouchet. 68 00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,469 Couilly is a village 50 miles north-east of Paris, 69 00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:15,308 with some 2000 inhabitants... 70 00:05:15,510 --> 00:05:17,819 That's where it happened! I was driving from work, 71 00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:20,746 doing 35 mph at most! 72 00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,781 The dog tore out like lightning! 73 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,380 I ran smack into it! What a mess! 74 00:05:27,300 --> 00:05:30,579 A real performance, it flew right over my car! 75 00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:33,200 An Unidentified Flying Dog! 76 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,149 I stuffed it in a bag. 77 00:05:35,350 --> 00:05:38,547 Shit, I wasn't gonna dig a hole! 78 00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:39,865 Into the trash can! 79 00:05:40,830 --> 00:05:43,788 Next day, the dumpster came by, that was it. 80 00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,690 End of story. 81 00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:52,181 Bastard! 82 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,225 You fucker! 83 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:58,344 I'm so sorry, I didn't know... 84 00:05:59,790 --> 00:06:02,990 Micheline, you remember the rules? 85 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:04,141 One little tear, and you're out! 86 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,622 We start the countdown? 87 00:06:07,390 --> 00:06:08,869 We're off and running!! 88 00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:11,699 Be strong! 89 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:16,107 I know how much you loved that little creature. 90 00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:19,107 Because, I see from our files 91 00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,460 that since your husband's death, 92 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:23,547 folks haven't come around much. 93 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,547 "Devoted as a dachshund!" 94 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:26,819 Micheline... 95 00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:29,858 you know the saying, "Devoted as a dachshund"? 96 00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,983 Too bad, Micheline! You almost made it! 97 00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:35,464 It's tissue time! 98 00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:53,463 We'll let Micheline recover. Back after the commercial! 99 00:06:53,910 --> 00:06:55,628 Dumb broad! 100 00:06:57,510 --> 00:06:58,545 Patrick, 101 00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:01,344 we've invited your wife Patricia, 102 00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,421 who has something to tell you. 103 00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,220 Patricia? 104 00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,220 Dirty slut! You fucker! 105 00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:30,464 OK, we'll pause until Patrick unwinds. 106 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:32,149 Patrick, calm down! 107 00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:33,499 Won't be a moment... 108 00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:35,941 Please remain seated! 109 00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,300 We're not done, we'll resume soon. 110 00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:41,240 - Thanks a lot. - Bastien! You must be kidding! 111 00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:45,145 I've told you! You cue the audience too soon! 112 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:47,600 What? 113 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:49,628 Nothing. OK. I'm sorry. 114 00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:52,390 Don't be sorry, be on cue! 115 00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,301 Very good. It was great. 116 00:07:58,510 --> 00:07:59,545 You liked it? 117 00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:07,188 Please wait a bit longer! Drinks are coming! 118 00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,786 Olivier, can you... 119 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,980 ... social stability is maintained by our ability 120 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:50,421 to consume more, faster. Let me finish! 121 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:54,200 Everything's faster, the images on TV, 122 00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:56,270 clips, video games, movies. 123 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:59,586 We all channel-surf, we over-consume images... 124 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:03,339 Today, you have to keep going further. 125 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,981 To dazzle and shock, so people don't switch channels. 126 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:11,862 But to answer your question, it's obvious that... 127 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:16,709 that... power... 128 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:18,864 Shit! 129 00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:23,828 We have to go further, 130 00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,500 to dazzle and shock, so people don't switch channels. 131 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,223 But to answer your question, 132 00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:33,105 I believe real power is buying what isn't for sale. 133 00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:35,780 Buying anything, at any price! 134 00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,140 What are you doing? 135 00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:39,346 Nothing. 136 00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:42,107 I'll come to bed. 137 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:45,901 You're sick! 138 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,308 - Mr. Vigneau is here. - Already? 139 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,660 He came with the network execs. 140 00:11:42,190 --> 00:11:44,340 - Morning Bertrand, how are you? - Morning. 141 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:45,983 Get Philippe. 142 00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,666 - The meeting's starting. - Coming. 143 00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,863 - You're late! - I know. 144 00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,420 Let's have the file. 145 00:12:00,670 --> 00:12:03,250 - Morning! - Did you change anything? 146 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:09,142 I thought it over: Let me do the pitching, 147 00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:10,988 then I bring you on. 148 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,343 You OK, not too stressed? 149 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:17,786 No... 150 00:12:18,190 --> 00:12:20,210 You won't screw it up? 151 00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:23,709 No, I'll blow their minds! 152 00:12:25,790 --> 00:12:26,586 Let's go! 153 00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:30,538 How do I look? 154 00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:32,825 Tanned. 155 00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:36,509 Ladies and gents, hi! 156 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,780 This is Bastien, my assistant. 157 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:43,785 Sit down! 158 00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:47,621 Hi, Bertrand. Nice of you to come over. 159 00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:52,105 It's not to congratulate you for last night's show! 160 00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,949 Sorry, I know. It got out of hand. 161 00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:57,680 - But that's your job! - Sorry? 162 00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:59,465 You control what happens on the set. 163 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:02,423 True. But we had a 40% audience share. 164 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:03,745 Really... 165 00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:06,269 So, we had an idea... 166 00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:08,461 It's called Proof In The Picture: 167 00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:11,590 Members of a family spy on each other. 168 00:13:11,270 --> 00:13:13,181 I mean they spy "nicely". 169 00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,824 They each get a video camera for 2 weeks, 170 00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,828 and catch each other out. For instance: 171 00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,822 Dad neglects his son's homework, watches soccer. 172 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:24,782 The kid films him. 173 00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:28,187 On the show, he humbles Dad, showing the video. 174 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:29,584 It's harmless! 175 00:13:29,790 --> 00:13:31,746 Little domestic episodes. 176 00:13:31,950 --> 00:13:36,230 Family members are on the set with their videos: 177 00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:39,905 "You didn't rinse the tub, you got home late", etc. 178 00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,702 If it's a hit, we pep it up. 179 00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,990 In what way? 180 00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:47,347 Kid sister films her brother with a slut. 181 00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:48,745 A what...? 182 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:50,823 A girl. 183 00:13:51,350 --> 00:13:52,863 But it stays nice. 184 00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:54,659 No smut! 185 00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,462 Anyway, we're off and running. 186 00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:03,868 5 families are already "videoing" each other. We'll soon see. 187 00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,345 I like the family filming each other. 188 00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:10,379 There's no voyeurism. It's OK for the 6.30 PM slot. 189 00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,104 Yes, I see. 190 00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:16,221 Well... 191 00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:18,708 I blew them away! You saw that? 192 00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:22,266 Sorry, I never said it was your idea. That seemed pretentious! 193 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:25,109 "Your idea, my idea." They don't care! 194 00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:28,541 If the idea's good... and this one's great! 195 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,103 Get me a coffee! 196 00:15:03,390 --> 00:15:04,300 Hi... 197 00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:35,425 Yes? 198 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:38,259 Sorry. 199 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,506 - I thought you were alone. - What is it? 200 00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:44,259 You're in a meeting! I'll stop by later. 201 00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:45,945 What did you want? 202 00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:51,106 To congratulate you for that TV interview. 203 00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:52,820 What for? 204 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:56,987 That hostile sociologist, you let her have it! 205 00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:00,290 I'll be off... 206 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:03,946 Stay! 207 00:16:04,150 --> 00:16:05,902 - You, get out! - What? 208 00:16:06,350 --> 00:16:07,499 We had a meeting. 209 00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,905 I just cancelled it. Scram! 210 00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:13,739 You won't weasel out of this! We'll settle it! 211 00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:17,467 Listen, creep, shut up! Get out of my office! 212 00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:19,742 You bastard! 213 00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:23,183 Don't speak like that to Mr. Broustal! 214 00:16:23,390 --> 00:16:24,266 Get out now! 215 00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:26,426 - Easy, Bastien. It'll be fine. - I'll take care of this! 216 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:27,983 Who are you? 217 00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:32,261 Get out! 218 00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:35,666 My nose, you fucker... 219 00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:40,340 You're a hothead! 220 00:16:41,150 --> 00:16:43,903 He was disrespectful of you. 221 00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:45,779 Sit down. 222 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,701 What did you think of the meeting? 223 00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,983 - They seemed pleased. - Was it your idea? 224 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,746 No, it was team work. 225 00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:09,465 Come on, Letzger doesn't have ideas like that. 226 00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:11,784 All right, it was my idea. 227 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,379 Why not say so? That's why you came? 228 00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,210 No, it was about your interview. 229 00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:20,506 That was your opener, you couldn't slouch in and say: 230 00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:22,985 "Sir, Letzger swiped my idea"! 231 00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:28,786 I'm not through! 232 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:33,346 I've watched you. People think 233 00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,825 I don't know what goes on here, but I do. 234 00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,590 You're gifted. Why are you his sidekick? 235 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,382 Explain that! 236 00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:42,308 - He's the star. - So what? 237 00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:45,828 - That lets him swipe your ideas? - I can't disagree... 238 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,703 That's your problem, you can't disagree! 239 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:51,228 "He's the star!" 240 00:17:52,390 --> 00:17:56,269 Since we're both talking crap, here's a tip about Letzger. 241 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:00,590 Come closer! 242 00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:09,223 If you ask him nicely for his job, he won't give it to you! 243 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:13,147 Anyway, thanks. Scram, we've both got work to do! 244 00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,508 ...He's really a puppet, I feed him his lines. 245 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:30,190 I should be saying them! 246 00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:33,260 I'm sure I'd be good at it. 247 00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:35,859 Don't you agree? 248 00:18:36,270 --> 00:18:37,225 Sure... 249 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:43,419 He swipes my ideas! Even Broustal noticed! 250 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:46,383 Broustal's the only reason I haven't quit. 251 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:49,650 - He's decent! - Sure he is: 252 00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:52,230 He pays double, so he can treat you like shit! 253 00:18:52,950 --> 00:18:55,669 - What was that? - You said that 2 weeks ago! 254 00:18:56,190 --> 00:18:59,899 Sure, I'd done something dumb, I deserved it. 255 00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:03,819 - You chew out your students! - I don't call them fuckers! 256 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,909 He didn't mean it, he was edgy! 257 00:19:08,110 --> 00:19:09,862 He said "fucker" as he'd say... 258 00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:21,583 You OK, Fabien? 259 00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:23,590 I'm fine, thanks. 260 00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:24,988 Remain seated, please. 261 00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,743 Won't you introduce us? 262 00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:38,863 Sorry, Fabienne. Jean-Louis Broustal, my boss. 263 00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,944 Fabien, Fabienne, that's funny. 264 00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:44,983 You're made for each other, like toons! 265 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:55,200 - Was it good? - Very, thanks. 266 00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:57,904 Thanks, bye. 267 00:19:58,110 --> 00:19:59,650 Miss... 268 00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:10,460 Check, please! 269 00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:11,864 Mr. Broustal paid it. 270 00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:13,101 What? 271 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:17,705 See? He didn't have to! 272 00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:20,178 So what do I call you? 273 00:20:20,390 --> 00:20:22,858 Fabien, Bastien, or good doggie? 274 00:20:31,150 --> 00:20:32,105 Bastien! 275 00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,661 - You OK? - My mind was elsewhere. 276 00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:51,146 Antoine, wait on the lot. I'll be an hour. 277 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,818 Where was your mind? Still on Letzger? 278 00:20:54,310 --> 00:20:57,586 He's a problem. He overdid it with Vigneau. 279 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,180 You heard from him? 280 00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:01,903 He likes the project. The problem is... 281 00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:05,500 he doesn't want Letzger to host the show. 282 00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:07,905 But he wouldn't tell Letzger that. 283 00:21:08,110 --> 00:21:09,668 But he bought the concept? 284 00:21:10,150 --> 00:21:12,539 You're as dumb as the others! 285 00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:15,947 If Vigneau didn't ask for changes, he didn't buy it. 286 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,106 By Monday, he'll pull out! 287 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:21,905 An idea that's too rich scares them. I'll bench Letzger. 288 00:21:22,110 --> 00:21:25,898 You work on the concept till Monday, suggesting changes. 289 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:29,819 We'll present it again with "their" ideas, and no Letzger. 290 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,590 By Monday! That's short, it's Friday. 291 00:21:33,790 --> 00:21:37,305 We'll polish it at my country house. You busy? 292 00:21:37,510 --> 00:21:39,148 No. I gotta to see someone but... 293 00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:42,547 Fabienne? She's your girl, you're not married? 294 00:21:42,750 --> 00:21:44,183 No, she's just... 295 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:46,426 Sorry, I'm nosy, forget it... 296 00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:49,508 I'll manage, won't be a problem. 297 00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:51,980 Bring her along! She'll enjoy it, 298 00:21:52,190 --> 00:21:54,829 we've got animals on the grounds, even deer! 299 00:21:55,910 --> 00:21:56,786 Yes, sure... 300 00:21:56,990 --> 00:21:58,901 Wait here a minute. 301 00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:01,908 Best if we're not seen together. You see why? 302 00:22:03,350 --> 00:22:04,305 Mr. Broustal! 303 00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:07,902 Thanks for the lunch! 304 00:22:12,430 --> 00:22:14,680 What are you doing tonight? 305 00:22:56,470 --> 00:22:58,665 Tell Jacques that Broustal's here! 306 00:23:07,710 --> 00:23:09,666 I gotta go see Jacques. 307 00:23:22,950 --> 00:23:25,225 Jacques, Mr. Broustal's here. 308 00:23:25,430 --> 00:23:26,829 OK, thanks. 309 00:23:27,270 --> 00:23:28,623 Excuse me... 310 00:23:48,150 --> 00:23:50,823 So, we got a table? 311 00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:53,661 Sit there. How many are you? 312 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:56,668 - 6, and more coming. - You'll fit there. 313 00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,747 Come sit down. What'll you drink? 314 00:23:59,950 --> 00:24:01,990 The works! 315 00:24:02,550 --> 00:24:03,460 Champagne! 316 00:24:08,470 --> 00:24:11,428 Champagne, whisky, and cognac. 317 00:24:11,630 --> 00:24:12,904 And soft drinks. 318 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,630 He's why you came? 319 00:24:26,270 --> 00:24:28,704 I didn't know he was here! 320 00:24:29,110 --> 00:24:31,101 Don't put me on! 321 00:24:31,310 --> 00:24:33,665 OK, he asked us, I couldn't refuse. 322 00:24:33,870 --> 00:24:36,589 We won't stay long. If you're bored, we leave! 323 00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:39,420 Bastien! Come here! 324 00:24:39,630 --> 00:24:42,640 - Good evening. - Sit there... 325 00:24:43,310 --> 00:24:45,665 - A drink? - Gladly. 326 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:48,549 - Champagne? - Fine. 327 00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:50,945 Champagne, here we go! 328 00:24:51,150 --> 00:24:52,378 - Jacques! - He's here. 329 00:24:52,990 --> 00:24:55,902 This is Bastien, my right arm. 330 00:24:56,110 --> 00:24:56,906 You OK? 331 00:24:57,470 --> 00:24:59,904 Jacques knows every girl in the joint. 332 00:25:05,350 --> 00:25:07,580 We'll have a great week-end! 333 00:25:14,630 --> 00:25:16,268 You saw Letzger? 334 00:25:17,910 --> 00:25:20,549 Philippe, look who's here! 335 00:26:40,230 --> 00:26:41,788 Come and piss with me. 336 00:26:42,510 --> 00:26:43,625 I'm OK... 337 00:26:43,990 --> 00:26:46,379 Come, I don't want to go alone. 338 00:26:56,150 --> 00:26:58,505 It's nicer to piss in company, right? 339 00:27:00,670 --> 00:27:03,250 I'd rather you came alone this weekend. 340 00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,539 Your girlfriend's charming, very worthy. 341 00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:08,218 But we'll work better if it's just men. 342 00:27:08,430 --> 00:27:09,499 You're right. 343 00:27:09,710 --> 00:27:12,178 Don't tell her, she'd be hurt. OK? 344 00:27:12,390 --> 00:27:13,345 OK. 345 00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:17,187 Don't push so hard! So what if you can't make it? 346 00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:19,262 See you in a bit! 347 00:27:23,870 --> 00:27:24,905 Where you going? 348 00:27:25,950 --> 00:27:28,669 I'm leaving. Got the car keys? 349 00:27:29,300 --> 00:27:30,463 Wait. I'll come, too... 350 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:33,708 You're spending the weekend with him? 351 00:27:34,710 --> 00:27:37,941 I didn't have time to tell you, it's for work. 352 00:27:39,910 --> 00:27:42,219 - What's wrong? - Nothing. The car keys? 353 00:27:43,590 --> 00:27:46,821 Try to understand, this is important to me! 354 00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:49,669 I understood a lot tonight. 355 00:27:51,510 --> 00:27:53,626 You're hurting me! We'll talk later. 356 00:27:53,830 --> 00:27:57,140 Now you fucked things up, you want to talk later! 357 00:27:57,350 --> 00:27:59,306 You realize how you behaved? 358 00:27:59,510 --> 00:28:01,546 We're invited to his table, and you sulk! 359 00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:04,590 They all noticed! He just told me in the john! 360 00:28:04,270 --> 00:28:05,464 I was ashamed! 361 00:28:05,670 --> 00:28:08,901 He invited us both to his home, now it's just me! 362 00:28:09,110 --> 00:28:10,463 Here! I'm staying! 363 00:28:10,670 --> 00:28:13,821 I won't blow this, because you resent VIP's! 364 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:26,220 You OK? 365 00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:29,183 Fine! She's got the flu or something. 366 00:28:29,390 --> 00:28:31,779 That's why she sulked. Sorry! 367 00:28:31,990 --> 00:28:34,550 I don't care if she sulks! 368 00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:36,900 Let's go, I've had enough! 369 00:28:41,750 --> 00:28:43,103 Bye, everyone! 370 00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:50,590 Get in front, Bastien. We'll drop you home! 371 00:28:50,790 --> 00:28:51,745 Let's go. 372 00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:58,226 That joint sucks! 373 00:28:58,430 --> 00:29:00,739 Come on, you danced all night. 374 00:29:02,390 --> 00:29:03,505 Want a little treat? 375 00:29:07,190 --> 00:29:08,987 I like her because she's so basic. 376 00:29:09,670 --> 00:29:11,388 - Have you two met? - No. 377 00:29:13,390 --> 00:29:15,858 Clara, my wife... Bastien. 378 00:29:19,670 --> 00:29:21,706 You'll see, it's cozy inside! 379 00:29:22,350 --> 00:29:25,387 But like so many things, costs a fortune... 380 00:29:25,590 --> 00:29:27,148 and rarely gets used! 381 00:29:27,350 --> 00:29:29,181 - Right, Antoine? - Yes, sir. 382 00:29:30,300 --> 00:29:31,702 I hate driving. 383 00:29:33,670 --> 00:29:35,467 What do you think of Clara? 384 00:29:37,310 --> 00:29:37,901 She's very pretty. 385 00:29:38,430 --> 00:29:41,979 I didn't mean that, I know she's pretty! 386 00:29:42,430 --> 00:29:45,581 Doesn't our age difference shock you? 387 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:51,782 No? People often comment on it. 388 00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:53,265 Where to, sir? 389 00:29:53,470 --> 00:29:57,650 Marrakesh! No, to the country, dummy! 390 00:29:57,270 --> 00:30:01,240 We'll take you with us. You won't have to drive out tomorrow. 391 00:30:01,710 --> 00:30:05,259 I don't have anything with me. No spare clothes, 392 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,825 or the outline, to work on. 393 00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:10,828 I've got it in the trunk. I'll lend you clothes. 394 00:30:11,300 --> 00:30:14,579 It'll spare you another fight with your girlfriend. 395 00:30:14,950 --> 00:30:15,985 Sleep on it! 396 00:30:17,590 --> 00:30:19,230 OK. 397 00:30:25,710 --> 00:30:27,780 Caution: Animals crossing 398 00:31:03,630 --> 00:31:05,630 ...Hence the title. 399 00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:09,379 It's about 5 families filming each other... 400 00:31:10,700 --> 00:31:11,389 Yes, sounds good. 401 00:31:11,910 --> 00:31:13,548 Mr. Broustal, we've arrived. 402 00:31:37,270 --> 00:31:38,498 It's beautiful. 403 00:31:51,830 --> 00:31:53,422 Interesting wall. 404 00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:54,985 Clara hates it. 405 00:31:55,190 --> 00:31:56,748 Are they your friends? 406 00:31:57,590 --> 00:31:58,909 Not at all. 407 00:31:59,870 --> 00:32:03,340 He's an Armenian coin-dealer, they're Viets 408 00:32:03,550 --> 00:32:05,302 from the Paris Chinatown. 409 00:32:06,230 --> 00:32:08,346 I'll show you your room. 410 00:32:08,550 --> 00:32:10,541 So you're into photography? 411 00:32:10,750 --> 00:32:12,706 I don't give a damn about it! 412 00:32:12,910 --> 00:32:17,280 They're there to remind me of my audience. They're my target! 413 00:32:19,300 --> 00:32:20,748 You find them typical? 414 00:32:20,950 --> 00:32:23,464 Nobody's typical of anything. 415 00:32:23,670 --> 00:32:25,262 What are you typical of? 416 00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:28,305 Separately, they're of no interest. 417 00:32:28,550 --> 00:32:32,179 I'm aware of the masses, of their desires, 418 00:32:32,430 --> 00:32:35,183 and I produce TV shows that cater to them. 419 00:32:37,470 --> 00:32:39,347 You get it, or are you pretending? 420 00:32:39,550 --> 00:32:41,620 No, I get it. The masses have a voice, 421 00:32:41,830 --> 00:32:44,788 individuals don't count, like that old woman! 422 00:32:47,430 --> 00:32:49,386 No, she counts! She's my mother! 423 00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:52,264 Committed suicide last year in real pain! 424 00:32:55,150 --> 00:32:56,600 I'm sorry. 425 00:33:00,700 --> 00:33:02,630 - Baby, you're all tensed up? - I'm fine. 426 00:33:02,830 --> 00:33:04,422 Did I say something wrong? 427 00:33:04,630 --> 00:33:07,980 Not you. Take care of him, he bugged me! 428 00:33:09,390 --> 00:33:10,584 Coming? 429 00:33:12,950 --> 00:33:13,985 Good night. 430 00:33:15,990 --> 00:33:18,788 Sorry, I didn't know about his mom! 431 00:33:19,270 --> 00:33:22,626 Now you do: She's taboo, never mention her. 432 00:33:22,830 --> 00:33:24,582 Still, I'd like to apologize. 433 00:33:24,790 --> 00:33:28,988 He's already asleep, tomorrow he'll have forgotten. 434 00:33:29,190 --> 00:33:30,669 What are you doing? 435 00:33:32,430 --> 00:33:33,943 Make love to me, I'm horny. 436 00:33:34,150 --> 00:33:37,699 Get dressed, I can't do that. What about Jean-Louis? 437 00:33:37,910 --> 00:33:40,424 Be quiet, so we don't wake him up. 438 00:33:42,300 --> 00:33:43,349 No wait, Clara I... 439 00:33:44,390 --> 00:33:46,280 I can't do that... 440 00:34:10,230 --> 00:34:11,629 You like it? 441 00:34:12,190 --> 00:34:15,262 It was his mom's room. Means he's fond of you. 442 00:34:15,830 --> 00:34:17,548 Really, you think so? 443 00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,180 I'll leave you! 444 00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:25,949 I'm not bored, but this room depresses me! 445 00:34:31,750 --> 00:34:34,822 Cells don't work here. But there's a phone downstairs. 446 00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,100 Use it, feel at home. 447 00:34:37,470 --> 00:34:38,585 Good night! 448 00:34:57,390 --> 00:34:58,823 You're so fucking dumb! 449 00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:01,425 What is it? 450 00:35:01,630 --> 00:35:05,200 Look what you did to my dress! It's ruined! 451 00:35:05,230 --> 00:35:06,583 I did nothing... 452 00:35:06,790 --> 00:35:09,650 You put it in the machine, I know you did! 453 00:35:09,270 --> 00:35:13,343 I'm used to washing dresses. It's not the first time. 454 00:35:13,550 --> 00:35:16,189 You can't machine-wash a dress like this! 455 00:35:16,390 --> 00:35:19,746 I used the "gentle" cycle! 456 00:35:19,950 --> 00:35:23,181 You know what a dress like this costs? 457 00:35:23,390 --> 00:35:24,505 Dumb bitch! 458 00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:28,629 There you are! Jean-Louis left you a note! 459 00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:58,105 Quiet! Take it easy! 460 00:37:17,310 --> 00:37:18,789 Getting a signal? 461 00:37:19,670 --> 00:37:20,580 No. 462 00:37:21,230 --> 00:37:23,619 Believe me, when I tell you something! 463 00:37:24,430 --> 00:37:27,149 I was just looking at it, casually... 464 00:37:27,350 --> 00:37:28,260 Casually? 465 00:37:28,470 --> 00:37:31,826 Or to call your sweetheart and say what goes on here? 466 00:37:33,470 --> 00:37:34,380 Not at all. 467 00:37:35,830 --> 00:37:36,785 I'm not a snitch. 468 00:37:38,550 --> 00:37:42,623 Another of his passing fancies. They'll soon be gone. 469 00:37:43,550 --> 00:37:45,222 How's your project doing? 470 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:46,499 The show? 471 00:37:47,790 --> 00:37:49,640 It's off to a good start. 472 00:37:49,270 --> 00:37:50,749 Will you host it yourself? 473 00:37:51,710 --> 00:37:55,385 I don't know. Did Jean-Louis say that to you? 474 00:37:55,590 --> 00:37:56,818 No, but... 475 00:37:57,300 --> 00:38:00,909 you'd be a good host. You have the looks for TV. 476 00:38:02,110 --> 00:38:04,340 Seriously? Gee, babe... 477 00:38:04,990 --> 00:38:06,981 Don't call me "babe". 478 00:38:08,270 --> 00:38:10,500 Sorry. I'm really glad you said it. 479 00:38:11,700 --> 00:38:13,345 I'm a TV personality! I know it! 480 00:38:16,870 --> 00:38:18,303 You come every weekend? 481 00:38:18,510 --> 00:38:19,704 Almost... 482 00:38:20,950 --> 00:38:22,463 Don't you get bored here? 483 00:38:22,670 --> 00:38:25,138 I do, it gets to be a drag. 484 00:38:25,350 --> 00:38:26,942 But Jean-Louis adores it. 485 00:38:27,430 --> 00:38:29,739 That's why I like having houseguests. 486 00:38:29,950 --> 00:38:33,101 But I don't make love to all of them. 487 00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:50,703 I drove 10 miles like this! It's still alive! 488 00:38:50,910 --> 00:38:52,946 Incredible! I hardly ever drive! 489 00:38:53,390 --> 00:38:56,630 It crossed the road, no time to brake! 490 00:38:58,710 --> 00:38:59,460 Dammit to hell! 491 00:39:15,350 --> 00:39:16,703 You sleep well? 492 00:39:16,910 --> 00:39:17,979 Yes, very well... 493 00:39:18,190 --> 00:39:22,468 Bravo! Clara said you were gentle, yet virile. She loved it! 494 00:39:22,670 --> 00:39:23,705 I'm sorry... 495 00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:26,220 It's not a problem. I'm delighted! 496 00:39:26,430 --> 00:39:29,979 I haven't had a hard-on since April, 1993. Be my guest! 497 00:39:30,190 --> 00:39:31,862 Have you seen the garden? 498 00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:33,822 Yes, it's huge. 499 00:39:47,830 --> 00:39:49,183 This works fine. 500 00:39:50,950 --> 00:39:52,224 Very amusing! 501 00:39:54,390 --> 00:39:56,346 No, it's a big bore! 502 00:39:58,190 --> 00:40:00,829 Mr. Broustal? Can we call it a day? 503 00:40:01,270 --> 00:40:04,580 Remember, I said my son's getting married today! 504 00:40:05,470 --> 00:40:06,425 Yes, of course. 505 00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:08,945 You should've reminded me! I forgot. 506 00:40:09,150 --> 00:40:10,378 Can I come? 507 00:40:11,270 --> 00:40:13,181 Sure, if you want to... 508 00:40:13,390 --> 00:40:16,630 No, I'm kidding. What next? 509 00:40:31,470 --> 00:40:32,789 Bastien, come look. 510 00:40:37,550 --> 00:40:39,461 You told him about last night? 511 00:40:39,670 --> 00:40:41,342 Sure! Only natural. 512 00:40:41,550 --> 00:40:42,983 What do you think? 513 00:40:43,830 --> 00:40:45,240 Morning, sir. 514 00:40:46,710 --> 00:40:49,861 For lunch I made asparagus with mousseline sauce, 515 00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:51,981 and cheese soufflé. 516 00:40:52,190 --> 00:40:53,259 Will that do? 517 00:40:54,230 --> 00:40:56,869 You like clothes, jewelry, all that? 518 00:40:59,630 --> 00:41:02,144 - Yes, I do. - That's important. 519 00:41:02,350 --> 00:41:05,467 I hate shopping with someone who's bored! 520 00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:13,183 It'd kill her to answer me! 521 00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:17,779 How about some cutlets, too? 522 00:41:18,590 --> 00:41:19,306 Fine. 523 00:41:19,510 --> 00:41:20,659 Or calf's liver? 524 00:41:21,390 --> 00:41:22,539 Fine, too. 525 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:26,188 He's not fussy! Calf's liver it is! 526 00:41:26,670 --> 00:41:28,149 Complaining again, Maryvonne? 527 00:41:28,350 --> 00:41:30,989 No, Maryvonne never complains! 528 00:41:31,750 --> 00:41:33,422 I adore her. She's a gem! 529 00:41:35,150 --> 00:41:38,142 I feel great here! Just my wife and my friends. 530 00:41:38,910 --> 00:41:40,707 - I'm glad you came. - So am I. 531 00:41:41,190 --> 00:41:42,623 Yes, I can imagine. 532 00:41:43,190 --> 00:41:44,589 You have no idea! 533 00:41:44,790 --> 00:41:47,668 It's such a thrill to be here, beside you. 534 00:41:47,870 --> 00:41:51,419 You're my role-model. It's a dream come true. 535 00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:55,701 Fabienne gets mad because I talk about you so much. 536 00:41:56,700 --> 00:41:59,460 She says it's a transference, as I never knew my dad. 537 00:41:59,670 --> 00:42:02,628 It's dumb, but if it was up to me, 538 00:42:03,350 --> 00:42:05,341 I'd want my dad to be like you. 539 00:42:07,630 --> 00:42:08,983 My love! 540 00:42:09,830 --> 00:42:13,266 How could you? You killed the poor stag! 541 00:42:21,590 --> 00:42:23,342 Excuse me, Jean-Louis. 542 00:42:23,550 --> 00:42:25,541 Can I make a quick phone call? 543 00:42:25,750 --> 00:42:27,820 It's just to Fabienne. 544 00:42:28,300 --> 00:42:30,385 Later! I'll need you shortly. 545 00:43:13,110 --> 00:43:15,419 Don't laugh, but sometimes I have doubts. 546 00:43:15,630 --> 00:43:17,507 Not about her, about myself! 547 00:43:17,710 --> 00:43:21,669 Will she get bored? Am I good enough for her? 548 00:43:22,700 --> 00:43:24,982 One can't get bored with you, Mr. Broustal! 549 00:43:25,670 --> 00:43:26,944 How did you meet Clara? 550 00:43:27,150 --> 00:43:30,187 It's a lovely story! I almost saw Clara being born! 551 00:43:30,390 --> 00:43:31,379 Really? 552 00:43:31,910 --> 00:43:34,424 Her dad's my former partner, Antoine Dorsac. 553 00:43:34,630 --> 00:43:36,985 Dorsac, of Passport to Adventure? 554 00:43:37,470 --> 00:43:40,860 I loved that show! Was it really faked? 555 00:43:41,700 --> 00:43:42,250 I'll say it was! 556 00:43:42,230 --> 00:43:46,701 Contestants were shepherded by a doctor and the local police! 557 00:43:49,390 --> 00:43:51,824 How did he take you marrying his daughter? 558 00:43:53,870 --> 00:43:54,666 Fine... 559 00:43:55,310 --> 00:43:56,789 Wait here, I'll be back. 560 00:43:57,590 --> 00:43:58,500 Really stinks! 561 00:44:00,910 --> 00:44:03,902 - Be careful, it's acid! - What's it for? 562 00:44:04,110 --> 00:44:06,544 To get rid of left-over meat for the vultures. 563 00:44:06,750 --> 00:44:09,389 Dissolves it in a few hours, even the bones. 564 00:44:10,510 --> 00:44:13,422 I can't make it to the woods, it's heavy! 565 00:44:15,190 --> 00:44:17,499 - Did you feed my birdies? - Yes. 566 00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:19,628 They'll get two meals! 567 00:44:33,950 --> 00:44:34,985 Kiss me. 568 00:44:35,750 --> 00:44:36,705 What? 569 00:44:37,230 --> 00:44:38,583 I said, kiss me! 570 00:44:39,790 --> 00:44:40,427 No... 571 00:44:40,630 --> 00:44:43,980 Yes. Just a little peck. 572 00:44:46,590 --> 00:44:48,342 Kiss me, dammit! 573 00:44:55,270 --> 00:44:57,386 - You were about to! - No way! 574 00:44:57,590 --> 00:44:59,660 - Yes, you were! - I knew you were kidding. 575 00:44:59,870 --> 00:45:01,986 - You were going to. - No, I knew it. 576 00:45:02,190 --> 00:45:03,987 - You're a little faggot! - No! 577 00:45:04,190 --> 00:45:05,339 Yes, you are! 578 00:45:07,110 --> 00:45:08,828 Good old Bastien! 579 00:45:19,230 --> 00:45:22,302 Thanks for your mom's room. It's touching, 580 00:45:22,510 --> 00:45:24,421 as I wanted a dad like you. 581 00:45:27,190 --> 00:45:29,943 Let's cut out the mom and dad crap. OK? 582 00:45:30,990 --> 00:45:33,140 Sure, I didn't want to embarrass you. 583 00:45:34,110 --> 00:45:35,543 Good, now what do we do? 584 00:45:35,750 --> 00:45:38,503 - We work? - No, not right away! 585 00:45:38,710 --> 00:45:41,190 We've got to recover from city life. 586 00:45:41,230 --> 00:45:43,983 Think of something, surprise me. 587 00:45:44,190 --> 00:45:45,828 What do you usually do here? 588 00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:47,304 Nothing, I'm bored! 589 00:45:47,510 --> 00:45:48,784 Sports! 590 00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:52,266 We go jogging! To rid you of foul Paris air, 591 00:45:52,470 --> 00:45:53,983 it'll ventilate you! 592 00:45:59,430 --> 00:46:02,502 Bastien! Advise me on our bedroom decoration! 593 00:46:02,710 --> 00:46:05,304 - No, we're going jogging! - You, jogging? 594 00:46:05,510 --> 00:46:07,466 He's right, it'll do me good! 595 00:46:07,670 --> 00:46:10,264 You can go jogging this afternoon. 596 00:46:10,470 --> 00:46:12,620 You've had him for an hour! 597 00:46:12,270 --> 00:46:14,943 He's no decorator. Look at how he dresses! 598 00:46:15,150 --> 00:46:17,505 Come, I'll find you some clothes! 599 00:46:21,470 --> 00:46:23,620 You'll be near the pond? 600 00:46:25,750 --> 00:46:27,661 We'll have a ball, Mr. Broustal! 601 00:46:27,870 --> 00:46:29,349 And it's raining! 602 00:46:34,110 --> 00:46:35,543 Don't be too long! 603 00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:48,509 I love these sneakers! 604 00:46:49,430 --> 00:46:51,220 Keep them, they're a gift! 605 00:47:26,870 --> 00:47:27,825 Left! 606 00:47:30,910 --> 00:47:34,141 You have a good stride! You should keep fit! 607 00:47:35,110 --> 00:47:38,989 I love sports! But I don't have time. 608 00:47:39,790 --> 00:47:42,509 The company used to have survival training. 609 00:47:42,710 --> 00:47:45,383 Obstacle course, bungee jumping... 610 00:47:46,270 --> 00:47:49,546 Yes, but there was an accident. 611 00:47:49,750 --> 00:47:52,590 We had to stop: The press got nosy. 612 00:47:52,270 --> 00:47:53,908 I'd have kicked 'em out! 613 00:47:54,310 --> 00:47:57,347 You'll see, Letzger won't last in this business. 614 00:47:57,550 --> 00:47:59,108 Too many vices, no discipline. 615 00:47:59,310 --> 00:48:02,630 I did 6 years of Thai boxing, 3 years of jiu-jitsu. 616 00:48:02,270 --> 00:48:05,785 You learn to use your opponent's strength... 617 00:48:05,990 --> 00:48:07,946 We have to rest 5 minutes! 618 00:48:15,430 --> 00:48:17,705 Stretch, or you'll freeze up. 619 00:48:24,910 --> 00:48:28,107 It's the braying season. Know what that is? 620 00:48:30,270 --> 00:48:32,101 The stags are mating. 621 00:48:33,550 --> 00:48:35,859 They bray all night, then the males 622 00:48:36,700 --> 00:48:38,538 fight to see who gets to fuck a doe! 623 00:48:38,750 --> 00:48:41,250 You'll hear it tonight, it's moving! 624 00:48:41,870 --> 00:48:43,144 Shall we head back? 625 00:48:57,950 --> 00:48:59,429 Jean-Louis, telephone! 626 00:48:59,990 --> 00:49:03,699 Shit, they never leave me alone! 627 00:49:03,910 --> 00:49:06,105 For once I was having fun. 628 00:49:06,750 --> 00:49:08,103 Enjoyed your little jog? 629 00:49:08,310 --> 00:49:12,667 No, but he thought of it! It was almost a good idea! 630 00:49:12,870 --> 00:49:14,861 See you shortly, OK? 631 00:49:32,830 --> 00:49:36,459 Where is he? Did the idiot get lost? 632 00:49:37,710 --> 00:49:39,940 Let's start, it's his tough luck! 633 00:49:47,910 --> 00:49:49,309 Mr. Broustal! 634 00:50:30,700 --> 00:50:32,265 I thought he'd be more amusing. 635 00:50:32,470 --> 00:50:34,904 He is. Give him a little... 636 00:50:42,470 --> 00:50:44,506 Give him time, he'll relax. 637 00:50:44,710 --> 00:50:46,701 He's open-minded, that's nice! 638 00:50:46,910 --> 00:50:50,539 Essential, you mean! So what do we do? 639 00:50:52,230 --> 00:50:54,221 We wait, no snap decisions. 640 00:51:07,230 --> 00:51:08,458 Here he is. 641 00:51:10,990 --> 00:51:12,548 He's in quite a state! 642 00:51:25,350 --> 00:51:26,385 So he is... 643 00:51:33,700 --> 00:51:34,901 Sorry, I got a bit lost! 644 00:51:35,110 --> 00:51:36,429 Don't apologize, Bastien. 645 00:51:36,630 --> 00:51:40,828 We're here to relax. Didn't you follow the bike tracks? 646 00:51:41,830 --> 00:51:44,185 No, I didn't think of that. 647 00:51:47,550 --> 00:51:49,461 Come, I'll show you where to wash up. 648 00:51:59,590 --> 00:52:02,184 What is it? You're not at ease here? 649 00:52:02,750 --> 00:52:04,308 Yes, I am. Why? 650 00:52:04,510 --> 00:52:05,943 Are we bad hosts? 651 00:52:06,150 --> 00:52:07,344 No! Are you joking? 652 00:52:07,550 --> 00:52:09,780 Clara and I aren't having any fun! 653 00:52:11,190 --> 00:52:15,149 You have audiences in stitches! Here nada, no imagination! 654 00:52:15,350 --> 00:52:17,386 I thought I came to work. 655 00:52:17,590 --> 00:52:19,690 You're obsessed! 656 00:52:19,270 --> 00:52:20,862 Don't you work all week? 657 00:52:21,700 --> 00:52:24,267 Your project's perfect! Leave it alone! 658 00:52:24,630 --> 00:52:27,190 Great! You wanted me to fix some things... 659 00:52:27,390 --> 00:52:28,618 I know! 660 00:52:29,110 --> 00:52:33,228 But I didn't know you hoped to host the show! Clara told me. 661 00:52:34,110 --> 00:52:36,305 It may sound crazy, but... 662 00:52:36,510 --> 00:52:37,625 Why not? 663 00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:39,860 Are you serious? 664 00:52:40,700 --> 00:52:41,901 You're endearing. 665 00:52:42,110 --> 00:52:45,147 Let's see if you can become indispensable! 666 00:52:48,470 --> 00:52:50,859 Come, she'll wonder what we're up to. 667 00:52:51,700 --> 00:52:53,459 - Can I wash my hands? - Sorry. 668 00:52:53,670 --> 00:52:55,103 On the left in the corridor. 669 00:52:55,790 --> 00:52:57,667 Hurry, we've eaten! 670 00:53:16,550 --> 00:53:18,666 Thanks, thanks a lot. 671 00:53:18,870 --> 00:53:19,780 Good evening. 672 00:53:23,150 --> 00:53:26,267 Let me thank the man who helped me get here! 673 00:53:27,270 --> 00:53:31,580 On every show, I think of all he taught me. 674 00:53:31,470 --> 00:53:34,268 He's my TV "father"... 675 00:53:35,830 --> 00:53:37,388 There's no paper! 676 00:53:38,390 --> 00:53:40,745 Shit! There's no paper! 677 00:53:42,350 --> 00:53:43,226 Pain in the ass! 678 00:53:43,750 --> 00:53:44,978 Shit! 679 00:53:53,550 --> 00:53:54,505 Maryvonne! 680 00:54:21,750 --> 00:54:23,103 What's that? 681 00:54:23,310 --> 00:54:25,221 He asked for calf's liver. 682 00:54:26,670 --> 00:54:28,422 Bastien, you eat meat? 683 00:54:30,230 --> 00:54:31,265 Well, yes. 684 00:54:32,710 --> 00:54:33,984 I eat meat. 685 00:54:40,300 --> 00:54:42,828 You don't miss a trick! You couldn't know. 686 00:54:43,790 --> 00:54:45,189 I'll try to smooth it! 687 00:55:01,150 --> 00:55:04,222 Miss Clara Dorsac, 688 00:55:04,310 --> 00:55:09,179 do you take Mr. Jean-Louis Broustal as your lawful wedded husband? 689 00:55:10,950 --> 00:55:11,939 Yes. 690 00:55:12,150 --> 00:55:13,788 Mr. Jean-Louis Broustal, 691 00:55:13,990 --> 00:55:18,268 do you take Miss Clara Dorsac as your lawful wedded wife? 692 00:55:19,590 --> 00:55:20,909 Yes, your honor. 693 00:55:21,990 --> 00:55:25,983 I now pronounce you husband and wife! 694 00:55:27,830 --> 00:55:30,139 Great. It's your wedding! 695 00:55:30,350 --> 00:55:33,740 Take a shower, I put clean clothes on the bed. 696 00:55:33,950 --> 00:55:35,144 That's kind, thanks... 697 00:55:35,350 --> 00:55:36,703 I sign there. 698 00:55:39,430 --> 00:55:43,946 This is an intimate moment, and we don't want to share it. 699 00:55:46,300 --> 00:55:48,305 - Should I leave? - Yes, please! 700 00:55:50,110 --> 00:55:51,650 OK. 701 00:55:59,310 --> 00:56:00,106 I did right, no? 702 00:56:00,310 --> 00:56:04,269 Unless we set things straight now, he'll be unmanageable! 703 00:56:54,390 --> 00:56:56,665 I meant no harm... 704 00:56:58,230 --> 00:57:01,222 - What do you mean? - I'm trying to tell you... 705 00:57:01,430 --> 00:57:03,990 - I screwed your daughter. - No, Jean-Louis! 706 00:57:04,230 --> 00:57:06,266 What are you getting at? 707 00:57:06,470 --> 00:57:08,859 - What are you getting at? - Stop it, Dad! 708 00:57:09,700 --> 00:57:12,699 You scumbag! I'll slug you! 709 00:57:12,910 --> 00:57:14,309 Stop it! 710 00:57:43,910 --> 00:57:45,389 Know where they are? 711 00:57:45,750 --> 00:57:47,342 Having a siesta. 712 00:57:48,630 --> 00:57:50,348 Doesn't the phone work? 713 00:57:50,550 --> 00:57:52,381 They turn it off when they sleep. 714 00:57:52,910 --> 00:57:56,270 Switchboard's in their bedroom, try your luck! 715 00:57:57,830 --> 00:57:59,707 - Is there a child here? - No. 716 00:58:00,550 --> 00:58:02,427 I saw the room. 717 00:58:03,700 --> 00:58:05,260 They decorated it, just in case. 718 00:58:05,950 --> 00:58:10,387 He can't have kids. Or so the crazy lady says. 719 00:58:10,590 --> 00:58:12,979 They tried, but nothing works any more. 720 00:58:20,510 --> 00:58:21,909 What are you doing? 721 00:58:22,110 --> 00:58:24,340 Quitting this madhouse! 722 00:58:24,550 --> 00:58:28,200 I should've gone 6 years ago, when his first wife left. 723 00:58:28,230 --> 00:58:30,664 Or rather, when he kicked her out! 724 00:58:31,150 --> 00:58:32,503 Do they know you're leaving? 725 00:58:32,710 --> 00:58:34,630 You'll tell them. 726 00:58:34,910 --> 00:58:37,629 You're here to straighten things. 727 00:58:38,350 --> 00:58:39,385 Meaning? 728 00:58:39,590 --> 00:58:41,501 You'll soon find out. 729 00:58:41,710 --> 00:58:42,984 Find out what? 730 00:58:43,950 --> 00:58:45,190 Nothing. 731 00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:48,267 If you don't know, I won't spoil your surprise. 732 00:58:48,470 --> 00:58:52,990 I didn't rat about the meat. Stop taking me for a fool! 733 00:58:52,310 --> 00:58:53,220 Well? 734 00:58:55,750 --> 00:58:57,980 I guess you're the replacement! 735 00:58:58,830 --> 00:58:59,740 The what? 736 00:58:59,950 --> 00:59:00,860 Nothing! 737 00:59:08,270 --> 00:59:09,589 I'm disappointed. 738 00:59:09,950 --> 00:59:12,418 So am I, Mr. Broustal. 739 00:59:12,630 --> 00:59:14,939 Leave at once! Never come back! 740 00:59:15,150 --> 00:59:17,505 I didn't intend to. 741 00:59:29,950 --> 00:59:31,463 - Watch out! - What is it? 742 00:59:31,670 --> 00:59:33,706 - Behind you! - What? 743 00:59:34,630 --> 00:59:35,540 What, dammit? 744 00:59:36,430 --> 00:59:38,341 - What the fuck is it? - Nothing! 745 00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:44,507 Just kidding! 746 00:59:46,750 --> 00:59:48,945 Just trying to liven things up! 747 00:59:49,150 --> 00:59:52,280 She almost wrecked our weekend with her crap! 748 00:59:53,310 --> 00:59:56,143 I can't get it up, or I'm half-cocked! 749 00:59:56,350 --> 00:59:57,908 Fuck her! 750 01:00:00,550 --> 01:00:01,665 Fuck you! 751 01:00:08,790 --> 01:00:10,428 Why am I a "replacement"? 752 01:00:19,630 --> 01:00:23,669 My dear Bastien, I have something important to tell you. 753 01:00:25,300 --> 01:00:26,622 You know that I esteem you. 754 01:00:26,990 --> 01:00:29,504 Your talent, availability, joie de vivre. 755 01:00:29,710 --> 01:00:31,621 You've charmed the whole office. 756 01:00:32,150 --> 01:00:33,139 Really? 757 01:00:34,150 --> 01:00:37,426 Clara and I love to entertain people at home. 758 01:00:37,630 --> 01:00:39,905 The only problem is that guests 759 01:00:40,110 --> 01:00:44,262 don't know your habits, want service, ask questions... 760 01:00:44,470 --> 01:00:45,698 Get to the point! 761 01:00:46,790 --> 01:00:48,906 To avoid that, 762 01:00:49,350 --> 01:00:53,250 for some time, Clara and I hire someone to amuse us. 763 01:00:53,230 --> 01:00:55,744 To spice up our week-ends. 764 01:00:55,950 --> 01:00:58,828 For a while we had a fellow who was spicy enough, 765 01:00:59,390 --> 01:01:01,426 but he got rough with Clara. 766 01:01:01,630 --> 01:01:04,622 Then we had Fabrice, but I found him insipid. 767 01:01:04,830 --> 01:01:07,344 He's the one you kicked out of my office. 768 01:01:08,590 --> 01:01:11,343 We haven't had much time to think it over, 769 01:01:11,550 --> 01:01:14,303 but we love you and want to hold on to you. 770 01:01:16,910 --> 01:01:17,626 Hold on to me? 771 01:01:19,270 --> 01:01:21,340 I can't come every week-end! 772 01:01:21,550 --> 01:01:23,666 Not every week-end! All the time! 773 01:01:25,550 --> 01:01:28,144 You want me to live with you? 774 01:01:28,350 --> 01:01:29,660 Yes. 775 01:01:29,630 --> 01:01:32,861 Precisely. You live in our home, 776 01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:36,187 travel around with us, escort Clara 777 01:01:36,950 --> 01:01:40,670 to discos, parties, like people your age. 778 01:01:40,270 --> 01:01:43,230 But I want you to take an AIDS test. 779 01:01:43,230 --> 01:01:45,903 Being cool's fine, but safety first! 780 01:01:46,390 --> 01:01:48,699 My motto's: Fun, fun, fun! 781 01:01:48,910 --> 01:01:52,300 I want no more, but no less! Or you're out! 782 01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:55,662 I'm not your man. 783 01:01:56,270 --> 01:01:58,500 Wait, I'm not through. 784 01:01:58,710 --> 01:02:01,907 I'll pay you $8000 a month, plus a company car, 785 01:02:02,110 --> 01:02:05,227 a cell phone, for you to use and be reached on. 786 01:02:05,430 --> 01:02:07,546 I'm not for sale, Mr. Broustal. 787 01:02:08,470 --> 01:02:11,223 I appreciate your wife, and admire you, 788 01:02:11,430 --> 01:02:12,988 but there are limits! 789 01:02:13,830 --> 01:02:16,264 You want me as your court-jester. 790 01:02:16,630 --> 01:02:20,543 That's strong language. Let's say, "male companion". 791 01:02:20,750 --> 01:02:22,502 But I want a career in TV! 792 01:02:22,710 --> 01:02:26,100 You'll have one! This is business plus pleasure! 793 01:02:26,310 --> 01:02:30,462 I'll make you a star. You have talent: I want to exploit it! 794 01:02:30,670 --> 01:02:32,865 You want a lot in exchange! 795 01:02:33,630 --> 01:02:36,508 I have to think it over... 796 01:02:37,350 --> 01:02:41,662 You two relax this weekend. We'll discuss it during the week. 797 01:02:43,270 --> 01:02:46,680 We won't! I'll drive you to the train station! 798 01:02:46,270 --> 01:02:47,783 You idiot! 799 01:02:48,470 --> 01:02:49,983 Don't get mad, I'm touched... 800 01:02:50,190 --> 01:02:52,579 That's enough, Bastien! 801 01:02:52,790 --> 01:02:54,746 Get your things, I'll be in the car. 802 01:02:54,950 --> 01:02:57,908 - Too bad it's gone sour... - I agree! 803 01:03:12,190 --> 01:03:13,660 Little jerk! 804 01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,389 You're gifted, cut from the right cloth, 805 01:03:18,590 --> 01:03:20,979 but you lack a good pair of balls! 806 01:03:22,510 --> 01:03:24,262 Try to understand... 807 01:03:24,470 --> 01:03:26,267 I understand nothing at all! 808 01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:29,985 I offer you a big salary, my wife, my friendship! 809 01:03:30,190 --> 01:03:34,183 I could teach you all I know! And you turn me down, dammit! 810 01:03:36,310 --> 01:03:38,141 I didn't! I said I needed to think... 811 01:03:38,350 --> 01:03:41,230 But it's my fault, too. I goofed. 812 01:03:41,230 --> 01:03:42,982 I don't often, but I did. 813 01:03:43,470 --> 01:03:45,347 I'd have staked a lot on you. 814 01:03:46,430 --> 01:03:48,819 I thought you'd make a great TV host! 815 01:03:50,150 --> 01:03:51,742 Now you have doubts? 816 01:03:51,950 --> 01:03:55,465 It's your lack of ambition and self-confidence! 817 01:03:55,670 --> 01:03:57,740 You don't deserve a show... 818 01:03:59,870 --> 01:04:02,987 You shouldn't even be working for us. 819 01:04:03,190 --> 01:04:05,210 I think I'll fire you! 820 01:04:05,830 --> 01:04:07,149 On what grounds? 821 01:04:07,350 --> 01:04:10,103 That's no problem, we'll find something! 822 01:05:12,430 --> 01:05:13,988 But why do I have to do this? 823 01:05:15,510 --> 01:05:18,946 You can't be devoted to us, if you have another life! 824 01:05:19,150 --> 01:05:21,459 It's not a trap, it makes sense! 825 01:05:22,110 --> 01:05:24,578 And you'd be cheating on my wife! 826 01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:26,779 What do I tell her? 827 01:05:26,990 --> 01:05:30,744 That it's over, she has to move out and forget you. 828 01:05:31,670 --> 01:05:34,104 What you're asking is really rough! 829 01:05:34,310 --> 01:05:37,268 You'd rather catch the 6:17 to Paris? 830 01:05:37,470 --> 01:05:41,429 Can't I tell her it's temporary, 831 01:05:41,630 --> 01:05:43,630 and make it final later? 832 01:05:43,270 --> 01:05:46,103 No, be firm! Or she'll phone all the time. 833 01:05:46,310 --> 01:05:49,302 And don't tell her about us! 834 01:06:03,830 --> 01:06:04,706 It's ringing. 835 01:06:07,150 --> 01:06:08,378 Hello, Fabienne? 836 01:06:08,590 --> 01:06:09,784 It's me. 837 01:06:11,630 --> 01:06:14,781 I've thought about what happened last night, 838 01:06:15,510 --> 01:06:16,659 and we should stop all that. 839 01:06:19,390 --> 01:06:21,187 No, not the quarrels... 840 01:06:21,790 --> 01:06:25,180 Everything, our relationship, the two of us. 841 01:06:27,190 --> 01:06:29,624 I don't know if I've thought it over... 842 01:06:29,990 --> 01:06:33,266 Yes, I've thought it over! You have to move out. 843 01:06:33,470 --> 01:06:34,425 And... 844 01:06:38,110 --> 01:06:40,660 It's her apartment! What do I say? 845 01:06:40,270 --> 01:06:41,703 Just say... 846 01:06:42,700 --> 01:06:44,504 Keep the apartment, but we're through. 847 01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:50,698 She hung up. 848 01:07:38,350 --> 01:07:40,147 Did you get sentenced to life? 849 01:07:40,350 --> 01:07:41,908 Don't look so happy! 850 01:07:42,310 --> 01:07:44,983 Let me get used to the idea. 851 01:07:45,510 --> 01:07:46,545 Yeah, well... 852 01:07:46,750 --> 01:07:48,980 OK, here we go! 853 01:07:49,190 --> 01:07:53,183 Jean-Louis, take your pick! I can do a cartwheel, handstands! 854 01:07:53,390 --> 01:07:56,188 Unless Clara has a more pressing need! 855 01:08:07,950 --> 01:08:11,306 Take off your shorts, you'll have a white mark. 856 01:08:11,510 --> 01:08:13,341 I don't mind. 857 01:08:14,670 --> 01:08:16,183 This thing's hellish. 858 01:08:16,390 --> 01:08:19,348 Relax. Let the vitamin D6 penetrate you. 859 01:08:19,550 --> 01:08:21,142 It enhances your mood. 860 01:08:21,350 --> 01:08:23,227 Yours and everyone else's. 861 01:08:23,630 --> 01:08:26,640 Pale people aren't nice to look at. 862 01:08:26,270 --> 01:08:29,546 A TV personality needs a tan to be respected. 863 01:08:29,950 --> 01:08:31,827 - Really? - Sure. 864 01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:35,902 We head for the sun once a month. 865 01:08:36,110 --> 01:08:40,388 Soothes the nerves. At least, it does mine. 866 01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:45,148 Jean-Louis feels nothing now, he's a vegetable! Right, sweetie? 867 01:08:45,630 --> 01:08:48,827 I still feel the warmth caressing my balls. 868 01:08:51,670 --> 01:08:54,590 I love being shaved all over. 869 01:08:54,430 --> 01:08:57,183 I just did it, I'm hairless as a china doll! 870 01:08:59,510 --> 01:09:01,865 It's so soft, so pleasant. 871 01:09:03,990 --> 01:09:05,309 You want to touch? 872 01:09:05,510 --> 01:09:07,626 Sorry, I have to get out of here. 873 01:09:12,870 --> 01:09:14,781 We won the booby prize! 874 01:10:05,390 --> 01:10:07,108 Feeling better? 875 01:10:15,790 --> 01:10:17,667 See? You're nice and tanned. 876 01:10:17,870 --> 01:10:20,430 I get claustrophobic in there. 877 01:10:20,630 --> 01:10:22,382 You've got to toughen up! 878 01:10:22,590 --> 01:10:25,104 Done any thinking? You found something? 879 01:10:26,110 --> 01:10:30,183 Maybe we could play Pictionary. It's a game where you draw... 880 01:10:32,150 --> 01:10:35,859 It's hard to think of things in the country. 881 01:10:36,510 --> 01:10:38,182 Will we come here every weekend? 882 01:12:07,950 --> 01:12:11,306 We're a blueprint for the 21st century couple. 883 01:12:11,510 --> 01:12:14,468 We're way ahead of the pack, right? 884 01:12:15,910 --> 01:12:19,698 No, you think I'm bragging! Yes, you do. 885 01:12:19,910 --> 01:12:22,424 We all become what others think of us. 886 01:12:22,630 --> 01:12:25,303 That's why I'm a cynical mover and shaker! 887 01:12:25,510 --> 01:12:28,263 If I acted differently, no one would understand. 888 01:12:28,470 --> 01:12:32,990 And they wouldn't obey. I want to be obeyed! 889 01:12:46,550 --> 01:12:47,460 Jean-Louis! It's me! 890 01:12:47,670 --> 01:12:49,388 You're here? You didn't warn us! 891 01:12:49,590 --> 01:12:51,740 I need a printed invitation now? 892 01:12:51,950 --> 01:12:53,178 I'll open. 893 01:12:54,550 --> 01:12:56,780 - Hurry! - I'll open! 894 01:13:01,790 --> 01:13:04,179 At last we'll have some fun! 895 01:13:06,990 --> 01:13:09,424 Just what I needed! Here, love! 896 01:13:11,750 --> 01:13:14,590 He's an idiot, but he has fun! 897 01:13:14,270 --> 01:13:15,749 I said, I'm not your man. 898 01:13:16,110 --> 01:13:17,748 You're not even trying! 899 01:13:17,950 --> 01:13:21,704 OK, I get it! He replaced Fabrice! 900 01:13:32,830 --> 01:13:35,708 Don't stare! This is an exception! 901 01:13:36,190 --> 01:13:38,465 Do what you want, no need for excuses! 902 01:13:39,310 --> 01:13:41,619 You bet I do what I want! Idiot! 903 01:13:46,300 --> 01:13:47,179 Want a line? 904 01:13:47,390 --> 01:13:48,300 No, thanks. 905 01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:54,468 Jean-Louis went jogging today! 906 01:13:56,990 --> 01:13:58,787 He made me go jogging. 907 01:13:59,430 --> 01:14:01,944 The only good idea he's had! 908 01:14:08,790 --> 01:14:10,303 I guess I'll have some. 909 01:14:23,750 --> 01:14:26,662 He even waits on table! I'll miss you! 910 01:14:27,790 --> 01:14:29,428 Sorry, I can't say the same. 911 01:14:30,590 --> 01:14:33,423 He learns fast! He's quit flinching! 912 01:14:33,630 --> 01:14:35,188 Watch out for your job! 913 01:14:35,750 --> 01:14:38,310 He'll be in your ass, not learning showbiz! 914 01:14:39,110 --> 01:14:41,749 One can do both, as you well know! 915 01:14:44,190 --> 01:14:45,748 You learn to shut up! 916 01:14:45,950 --> 01:14:48,589 We'll do a try-out for Proof in the Picture! 917 01:14:48,950 --> 01:14:50,542 Tell him! He doesn't know! 918 01:14:51,190 --> 01:14:52,748 I got your job, bozo! 919 01:14:54,190 --> 01:14:57,546 Don't you know the network decides that? 920 01:14:57,750 --> 01:15:01,186 How do you fool 'em? Do you just pick 'em dumb? 921 01:15:01,790 --> 01:15:05,305 Speak up, you're on TV, won't happen again! 922 01:15:06,910 --> 01:15:07,979 "Bastien's freaking. 923 01:15:08,190 --> 01:15:09,942 "He knows he's losing the game 924 01:15:10,150 --> 01:15:13,745 "To save him, dial 0899995500." 925 01:15:13,950 --> 01:15:16,384 "Or on the Internet: Www.buffoon.com." 926 01:15:16,590 --> 01:15:18,660 - Shut up! - Sit down! 927 01:15:18,870 --> 01:15:20,269 He keeps riding me! 928 01:15:20,470 --> 01:15:21,505 Sit down! 929 01:15:22,190 --> 01:15:25,466 Stop jumping at people's throats! 930 01:15:25,670 --> 01:15:27,501 You got no other defense? 931 01:15:28,790 --> 01:15:30,223 I'm on to your games. 932 01:15:30,430 --> 01:15:32,500 Everything you told me is crap! 933 01:15:32,710 --> 01:15:34,985 Lightning strikes! How touching! 934 01:15:35,390 --> 01:15:39,463 He's too much! People sure don't come here for the food! 935 01:15:39,670 --> 01:15:41,308 I'm not hungry, either! 936 01:15:49,510 --> 01:15:52,240 - What's going on? - What do you mean? 937 01:15:52,230 --> 01:15:53,345 About the network? 938 01:15:53,550 --> 01:15:56,508 It's bullshit! You know Letzger! 939 01:15:57,750 --> 01:16:00,503 - Why are you like this with me? - Like what? 940 01:16:00,950 --> 01:16:02,906 You're hostile. 941 01:16:03,110 --> 01:16:05,660 Don't worry, everything's fine. 942 01:16:06,510 --> 01:16:07,829 Look! 943 01:16:08,230 --> 01:16:11,427 What an idiot! You found them? Where were they? 944 01:16:12,700 --> 01:16:13,742 Wait for me! 945 01:16:14,830 --> 01:16:18,270 Come, Bastien. I've been in this business 25 years. 946 01:16:18,230 --> 01:16:21,586 No one ever imposed anyone on me! Trust me! 947 01:16:23,430 --> 01:16:25,341 Wait for me! I'm coming! 948 01:16:56,790 --> 01:16:59,543 Dance! You're a rabbit with myxomatosis! 949 01:16:59,910 --> 01:17:01,309 And red eyes, too! 950 01:18:00,550 --> 01:18:01,983 It's hot in here. 951 01:18:07,510 --> 01:18:09,680 And getting hotter! 952 01:18:15,230 --> 01:18:16,663 "In the mating season, 953 01:18:16,870 --> 01:18:19,862 "a stag isn't choosy about the merchandise. 954 01:18:20,310 --> 01:18:22,983 "To satisfy his huge sexual appetite, 955 01:18:23,190 --> 01:18:25,704 "he may rub up against a tree, 956 01:18:25,910 --> 01:18:27,662 "or lie on his belly 957 01:18:27,870 --> 01:18:30,987 "and relieve himself in a muddy puddle..." 958 01:18:43,910 --> 01:18:46,583 - Shall I tell a joke? - No, thanks. 959 01:18:47,190 --> 01:18:48,623 You'll see, it's very funny! 960 01:18:48,830 --> 01:18:51,264 Sure, but I'm not in the mood. 961 01:18:51,750 --> 01:18:55,260 - Why can't I...? - You had all day! It's too late! 962 01:18:56,310 --> 01:18:59,347 - Stop it! - No treats for the guests? 963 01:19:00,350 --> 01:19:01,908 "It's too late". How? 964 01:19:02,110 --> 01:19:05,341 Don't insist! Stop bugging me! 965 01:19:05,550 --> 01:19:07,700 We made a mistake about you. 966 01:19:08,590 --> 01:19:11,263 - You mean it's off? - It was never on! 967 01:19:11,470 --> 01:19:14,701 What? 2 hours ago, you asked me to trust you! 968 01:19:14,910 --> 01:19:16,662 I dumped everything for you! What do I do now? 969 01:19:16,870 --> 01:19:18,940 Just do what you used to do! 970 01:19:19,150 --> 01:19:20,788 Stop being a pain! 971 01:19:36,150 --> 01:19:39,347 I feel my little kangaroo... 972 01:19:41,430 --> 01:19:42,829 Have some fun... 973 01:20:18,430 --> 01:20:21,103 Stop, I'm not in the mood any more! 974 01:20:21,310 --> 01:20:22,299 Let go of me! Shit! 975 01:20:22,910 --> 01:20:24,250 What's up, Philippe? 976 01:20:25,150 --> 01:20:26,344 It's OK. 977 01:20:26,750 --> 01:20:27,978 Little slut! 978 01:21:20,430 --> 01:21:22,386 You're completely nuts! 979 01:21:22,630 --> 01:21:25,190 I didn't mean to. I just wanted to hurt him! 980 01:21:25,590 --> 01:21:26,989 You did a great job! 981 01:21:27,870 --> 01:21:30,862 Can't one have any fun in this house? 982 01:21:31,700 --> 01:21:33,220 To have fun! You understand that? 983 01:21:33,590 --> 01:21:35,865 It's always gotta be violence! 984 01:21:37,390 --> 01:21:39,745 Don't cry, I can't stand that! Stop it! 985 01:21:57,310 --> 01:21:58,789 Stop it, calm down. 986 01:21:59,950 --> 01:22:02,418 Sorry, I shouldn't have lost my temper. 987 01:22:02,630 --> 01:22:05,980 Calm down, it doesn't matter! 988 01:22:05,310 --> 01:22:06,663 Yes, it does. 989 01:22:06,870 --> 01:22:09,225 You talk to me like a little girl! 990 01:22:09,670 --> 01:22:10,659 No, I don't. 991 01:22:11,110 --> 01:22:13,544 I treat you like an adult, a normal person. 992 01:22:15,350 --> 01:22:17,944 I feel everything I do is wrong! 993 01:22:18,150 --> 01:22:20,505 No, you do lots of things very well. 994 01:22:21,670 --> 01:22:22,466 Really? 995 01:22:22,670 --> 01:22:24,820 Of course. You're impulsive, 996 01:22:25,270 --> 01:22:27,989 but I love that! Your zest, your youth! 997 01:22:29,870 --> 01:22:33,385 Calm down, don't worry. We'll straighten it out. 998 01:22:39,470 --> 01:22:41,301 Help me. He's leaking all over. 999 01:22:41,510 --> 01:22:43,819 Don't move him till the police... 1000 01:22:45,230 --> 01:22:46,424 What police? 1001 01:22:47,350 --> 01:22:49,680 Aren't we going to call them? 1002 01:22:49,270 --> 01:22:53,582 To say there's a coked-up kangaroo on my floor? Did he slip? 1003 01:22:53,790 --> 01:22:54,939 We've got no choice! 1004 01:22:55,150 --> 01:22:57,983 - What'll you do? - Dump him in the woods he loved! 1005 01:22:58,430 --> 01:23:00,307 Stop right there! 1006 01:23:00,990 --> 01:23:03,743 Help you bury a TV star in the woods? 1007 01:23:03,950 --> 01:23:05,702 You really think I'm dumb! 1008 01:23:07,110 --> 01:23:08,509 What do I get for shutting up? 1009 01:23:13,310 --> 01:23:14,265 His job. 1010 01:23:16,310 --> 01:23:18,619 For 2 days, you've fed me a load of crap, 1011 01:23:19,550 --> 01:23:22,223 about my future, my talent. And I bought it. 1012 01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:25,787 OK, it suited me, but I trusted you. 1013 01:23:26,270 --> 01:23:28,625 I hope you had fun: Now it's over! 1014 01:23:28,830 --> 01:23:31,628 We'll call the cops and say what happened! 1015 01:23:33,700 --> 01:23:36,267 Think carefully. We're not joking now. 1016 01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:38,825 This is the chance of a lifetime! 1017 01:23:39,300 --> 01:23:41,225 No one knows he was here, no one will! 1018 01:23:41,430 --> 01:23:42,829 I know it. 1019 01:23:43,830 --> 01:23:45,900 You little prick! 1020 01:23:46,310 --> 01:23:49,666 I entertain you regally, and now you threaten me? 1021 01:23:56,990 --> 01:23:59,788 Sorry, Clara, we've got to call the cops. 1022 01:24:01,110 --> 01:24:04,386 I worked all my life to get to where I am! 1023 01:24:04,590 --> 01:24:07,150 Making shitty TV shows, for shitty audiences! 1024 01:24:10,790 --> 01:24:14,226 With my lawyers, the most you'll get is 7 years, 1025 01:24:14,430 --> 01:24:17,467 and be out in 4 for good behavior. I'll phone 'em. 1026 01:24:18,790 --> 01:24:20,269 Wait! 1027 01:24:32,300 --> 01:24:33,509 I've got another idea. 1028 01:25:42,700 --> 01:25:44,379 I'll help, or we'll be all night! 1029 01:25:44,590 --> 01:25:47,423 If he moves, kill him! One more won't matter! 1030 01:26:12,670 --> 01:26:14,422 That'll do! 1031 01:26:17,830 --> 01:26:21,709 You two'll be cramped at first: The acid'll make it roomier! 1032 01:26:22,110 --> 01:26:24,578 Help me. It's the last time, promised! 1033 01:26:36,710 --> 01:26:37,745 I bow to you. 1034 01:26:42,230 --> 01:26:44,186 I thought you'd enjoy it. 1035 01:26:51,470 --> 01:26:53,665 Gimme the watch. Pity to bury it. 1036 01:27:05,790 --> 01:27:07,640 Jean-Louis... 1037 01:27:14,750 --> 01:27:16,980 What is it, Philippe? 1038 01:27:22,510 --> 01:27:24,660 Speak up, I don't understand! 1039 01:27:25,310 --> 01:27:26,584 We gotta pull him out! 1040 01:27:27,750 --> 01:27:29,240 No, it's too late. 1041 01:27:30,870 --> 01:27:33,430 Sorry, no can do! 1042 01:27:40,350 --> 01:27:41,385 Too late! 1043 01:27:41,750 --> 01:27:43,263 It's too late, I said! 1044 01:27:43,470 --> 01:27:45,222 So shut up! 1045 01:27:46,300 --> 01:27:47,224 Stop it, Jean-Louis! 1046 01:27:48,630 --> 01:27:50,382 Stop it! 1047 01:27:55,300 --> 01:27:56,650 Hold it! 1048 01:30:30,550 --> 01:30:33,587 What's with you? Wanna get run over? 1049 01:30:33,790 --> 01:30:35,143 Shit! 1050 01:30:35,350 --> 01:30:36,385 Are you hurt? 1051 01:30:36,590 --> 01:30:37,545 I'm OK... 1052 01:30:37,750 --> 01:30:40,250 You out for a late stroll? 1053 01:30:46,700 --> 01:30:49,460 I fell asleep driving, ditched my car in a field. 1054 01:30:49,670 --> 01:30:53,868 Poor sap, you're hurt! I'll take you home! 1055 01:30:54,670 --> 01:30:58,345 You're lucky! Usually I'm in bed by now! 1056 01:31:00,390 --> 01:31:01,379 Rex! 1057 01:31:24,430 --> 01:31:26,898 Damn dog's chasing game! 1058 01:31:28,700 --> 01:31:29,389 Brittany spaniel. 1059 01:31:30,300 --> 01:31:31,861 Good hunting dog, but he bolts! 1060 01:31:32,630 --> 01:31:36,200 Last week, on a partridge shoot, he chased a hare, 1061 01:31:37,700 --> 01:31:38,947 took me 3 hours to find him! 1062 01:31:39,710 --> 01:31:43,828 If he smells blood, he'll run all night! 1063 01:31:49,390 --> 01:31:51,779 - But he's a... - Can you drive faster? 1064 01:31:52,750 --> 01:31:55,250 One crash wasn't enough? 1065 01:31:56,230 --> 01:31:58,346 Don't worry, no one'll steal your car. 1066 01:31:58,550 --> 01:32:02,623 If it's in a field, you'll need a tractor to get it out. 1067 01:32:20,310 --> 01:32:22,904 - What are you doing? - Going home! 1068 01:32:23,110 --> 01:32:24,782 What? You live here? 1069 01:32:25,710 --> 01:32:28,588 Isn't my remote great? 1070 01:32:28,790 --> 01:32:31,224 Look at that! 1071 01:32:36,670 --> 01:32:40,743 Hope I can trust you! I never let strangers in. 1072 01:32:40,950 --> 01:32:41,939 Sit there. 1073 01:32:46,390 --> 01:32:48,426 I'll get disinfectant. 1074 01:32:53,150 --> 01:32:54,663 Now what? 1075 01:32:59,390 --> 01:33:01,346 Mr. Balibot, it's Jean-Louis Broustal! 1076 01:33:01,550 --> 01:33:02,619 Yes. Mr. Broustal. 1077 01:33:03,700 --> 01:33:04,219 What's going on? 1078 01:33:05,230 --> 01:33:07,869 I got burglarized. I'm chasing a young man! 1079 01:33:08,700 --> 01:33:08,946 Really? 1080 01:33:18,910 --> 01:33:20,582 Don't be a fool, fella! 1081 01:33:24,190 --> 01:33:27,785 No big deal, we'll work it out. 1082 01:34:31,300 --> 01:34:32,543 Stop! It's Mr. Broustal! 1083 01:34:33,110 --> 01:34:34,702 How could I know? 1084 01:34:35,110 --> 01:34:37,670 Help me. Hold that! 1085 01:34:55,550 --> 01:34:58,110 - You find him? - I lost him. 1086 01:34:58,310 --> 01:35:00,949 Little creep! Let's call the police! 1087 01:35:01,150 --> 01:35:04,426 No way! I'll do it from home! I'll deal with it! 1088 01:35:04,630 --> 01:35:06,905 I have to file a complaint. 1089 01:35:08,150 --> 01:35:11,825 My gate's wrecked! I just automated it! 1090 01:35:12,110 --> 01:35:15,227 Go to bed! We'll deal with it tomorrow. 1091 01:35:15,790 --> 01:35:18,990 - I'll refund you for your car. - It was new! 1092 01:35:18,310 --> 01:35:20,280 You'll get a new car and gate! 1093 01:35:20,510 --> 01:35:23,502 No need. We'll make the insurance pay! 1094 01:35:23,750 --> 01:35:27,663 Forget the insurance. Or we'll have to say your wife shot at me! 1095 01:35:27,910 --> 01:35:31,270 Let's avoid all that. I'll just reimburse you. 1096 01:35:31,230 --> 01:35:34,630 It's nothing for me! Bye, Mr. Balibot. 1097 01:35:35,590 --> 01:35:36,989 Sounds a bit fishy to me. 1098 01:35:37,630 --> 01:35:40,640 You're in TV, you're used to all that, 1099 01:35:41,630 --> 01:35:43,860 I'd like to do it your way, but... 1100 01:35:44,350 --> 01:35:46,341 I'd rather do it by the rule-book! 1101 01:35:47,910 --> 01:35:50,663 I'll call you tomorrow, we'll work it out. 1102 01:35:50,870 --> 01:35:52,588 Meanwhile, don't make a move! 1103 01:35:54,390 --> 01:35:56,301 Can I call a tow-truck to open my gate? 1104 01:35:56,510 --> 01:35:58,466 Don't touch a thing! 1105 01:35:58,670 --> 01:35:59,705 Good night! 1106 01:36:00,430 --> 01:36:02,864 Good night. Shall I run you home? 1107 01:36:03,510 --> 01:36:05,387 I'm dumb, I can't do it! 1108 01:36:05,590 --> 01:36:06,739 Yes, good night! 1109 01:36:11,110 --> 01:36:12,463 Open, Jacqueline! 1110 01:38:15,790 --> 01:38:16,825 What's got into you? 1111 01:38:17,300 --> 01:38:19,498 - Where is he? - He was here 5 minutes ago. 1112 01:38:19,910 --> 01:38:23,141 Where were you? You're due on the set! 1113 01:38:23,350 --> 01:38:25,466 Where's Letzger? What's going on? 1114 01:38:33,590 --> 01:38:34,659 Yes, he's here. 1115 01:38:36,470 --> 01:38:37,505 It's for you. 1116 01:38:57,510 --> 01:38:59,978 You're right, one learns a lot from you! 1117 01:39:01,430 --> 01:39:02,465 Spit it out! 1118 01:39:04,270 --> 01:39:07,103 I've thought it over: I accept your proposition. 1119 01:39:08,430 --> 01:39:12,343 I wasn't sure I was up to it, but I'll take his job! 1120 01:39:13,390 --> 01:39:15,779 Of course, I have some conditions. 1121 01:39:15,990 --> 01:39:18,424 That's why I took this from your home. 1122 01:39:20,630 --> 01:39:23,980 I figured it'd come in handy! 1123 01:39:23,830 --> 01:39:26,390 Of course, I made copies. 1124 01:39:27,300 --> 01:39:28,588 In case anything happens to me. 1125 01:39:31,470 --> 01:39:33,745 Things will change here, Mr. Broustal. 1126 01:39:38,550 --> 01:39:41,223 "Things will change here, Mr. Broustal." 1127 01:39:42,190 --> 01:39:43,987 Really? OK... 1128 01:39:44,990 --> 01:39:46,343 If you say so. 1129 01:39:47,190 --> 01:39:48,179 But what? 1130 01:39:49,470 --> 01:39:53,258 That's the whole problem. What did you say? 1131 01:39:53,710 --> 01:39:55,701 "In case anything happens to me"? 1132 01:39:56,750 --> 01:39:59,469 What could happen to a jerk-off like you? 1133 01:40:00,430 --> 01:40:03,661 You've got a petty scheme, and this gadget! 1134 01:40:03,870 --> 01:40:06,862 Think you can blackmail me? 1135 01:40:15,830 --> 01:40:16,785 You scared? 1136 01:40:18,470 --> 01:40:19,789 Hello, Bastien. 1137 01:40:20,510 --> 01:40:24,344 The little ballbuster who thinks he can bust my big balls, 1138 01:40:24,550 --> 01:40:27,622 bigger than your amateur con-man's tiny nuts! 1139 01:40:30,470 --> 01:40:32,984 I'm real scared of what you've got on me! 1140 01:40:34,550 --> 01:40:38,702 This is Broustal Productions! Don't go to lunch yet: 1141 01:40:38,910 --> 01:40:40,548 I've killed someone! 1142 01:40:41,590 --> 01:40:43,103 Things look bad for me! 1143 01:40:45,510 --> 01:40:48,786 Until it's settled, you'd better lock me up! 1144 01:40:48,990 --> 01:40:50,548 Call the police! 1145 01:40:50,750 --> 01:40:55,221 Book me a room in the Paris jail, in the VIP wing! 1146 01:40:55,430 --> 01:40:56,829 Here's my only request: 1147 01:40:57,390 --> 01:40:59,950 Make sure I can crap quietly in my cell! 1148 01:41:00,230 --> 01:41:01,709 The countdown has started. 1149 01:41:01,910 --> 01:41:04,260 20... 19... 1150 01:41:04,750 --> 01:41:05,785 18... 1151 01:41:06,390 --> 01:41:07,459 17... 1152 01:41:14,950 --> 01:41:17,589 You want my outfit? Take it! 1153 01:41:17,790 --> 01:41:19,382 What the fuck do I care! 1154 01:41:19,870 --> 01:41:21,906 15... 14... 1155 01:41:22,150 --> 01:41:23,105 13... 1156 01:41:25,270 --> 01:41:27,340 Want my suits and gold watches? 1157 01:41:28,350 --> 01:41:30,227 Your private spot on a Riviera beach? 1158 01:41:30,910 --> 01:41:35,347 You'll get all that! And the pretty sluts that go with it! 1159 01:41:41,230 --> 01:41:42,549 But you won't get me. 1160 01:41:51,950 --> 01:41:53,861 Things move too fast now. 1161 01:41:54,700 --> 01:41:56,868 We're like birds, we fly over life, 1162 01:41:57,700 --> 01:42:00,619 it's intoxicating, we float, high in the sky, 1163 01:42:01,700 --> 01:42:03,300 carried away by the speed of it all, 1164 01:42:03,750 --> 01:42:05,741 until we're worn out. 1165 01:42:07,150 --> 01:42:09,505 7... 6... 1166 01:42:09,710 --> 01:42:11,780 5... 4... 1167 01:42:16,190 --> 01:42:18,704 Sorry, I won't attend your first show. 1168 01:42:19,270 --> 01:42:21,784 You thought you had me by the balls! 1169 01:42:23,350 --> 01:42:26,230 One day you'll realize that's not power. 1170 01:42:26,550 --> 01:42:29,189 Power is making final decisions. 1171 01:42:29,390 --> 01:42:32,143 Deciding how a conversation ends. 1172 01:42:32,350 --> 01:42:34,341 That's having power. 1173 01:42:37,150 --> 01:42:40,222 I'm deciding how we take leave of each other. 1174 01:42:48,870 --> 01:42:49,825 3... 1175 01:42:50,910 --> 01:42:51,660 2... 1176 01:42:52,750 --> 01:42:53,500 1... 1177 01:42:56,950 --> 01:42:57,905 I win! 1178 01:47:52,590 --> 01:47:54,740 Subtitles: A. Whitelaw 1179 01:47:54,950 --> 01:47:57,305 Processed by L.V.T. - Paris 77748

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