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1
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:09,003
Hey, Brenda. Kenny's coming
for a visit with his new baby.
2
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,838
We're gonna have to change
the sheets in the guest room...
3
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,425
wand make sure there is
no medication lying around.
4
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:15,633
Got it, got it.
5
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:16,923
- Gonna be fun.
- Hello?
6
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,557
Good time with that baby.
7
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,218
This is a league game.
8
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:23,104
You can't just leave early,
or you'll be disqualified.
9
00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:26,392
You'd rather win this In a weasel way
than settle on the boards?
10
00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:29,027
Speaking of the boards,
let me just...
11
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:31,938
- Yep, I'm still ahead.
- Heh, heh.
12
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,732
So why don't you decide, Tammy?
13
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:37,072
You want me to win by points
or disqualification?
14
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,613
Whatever. I've got more
important shit in my life...
15
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,531
...than arguing with your dumb ass.
16
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,871
My famous baseball-player son...
17
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,286
...is coming for a visit
with his new baby.
18
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,377
And would this be the son
that got busted doing steroids...
19
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,336
...and had that prostitution scandal?
20
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,969
- Sure did.
- You must be very proud.
21
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:56,838
Oh!
22
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,261
I guess you win by disqualification.
23
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:00,470
You're the champ.
24
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,635
Soak it up, tomato face.
25
00:01:33,219 --> 00:01:34,801
I got the baby.
26
00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:39,381
I got the baby.
27
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,427
Well, goddamn.
28
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,889
Somebody's doing pretty good
for themselves.
29
00:01:44,063 --> 00:01:47,226
All right. Let's go over some ground rules.
30
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:50,187
First off, go along with everything I say.
31
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:54,104
You can't just walk in there and ask her
to raise your baby right off the bat.
32
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,272
Let me moisten her up
a little bit first.
33
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:02,154
I feel like I have blood in my Wiener
when I get excited.
34
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,206
Maria.
35
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:08,838
- Steven.
- Where are you?
36
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,256
Your marriage is over.
37
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:14,040
Now sack the fuck up,
or you're gonna walk back to Myrtle.
38
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,423
No loose cannons on this mission.
39
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,337
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
40
00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:20,550
We are.
41
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,385
Goddamn right. Let's go.
42
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,818
Oh, my goodness.
43
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,941
- My boy.
- How you doing, Mama?
44
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,781
- My baby.
- So good to see you.
45
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:46,789
And my grandbaby, you sweet thing.
He's getting so big.
46
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,666
And so handsome,
just like his daddy.
47
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:49,951
Oh, yes, he is.
48
00:02:50,129 --> 00:02:52,040
Oh, you sweet thing, you sweet thing.
49
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,212
Okay, now.
Who are these people?'?
50
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,797
Well, Mom...
51
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:02,635
...the man made of skin here
is my nanny/assistant...
52
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:06,847
...and this disabled mouth-breather
minority is my personal chef.
53
00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:10,480
Well, big celeb, excuse me,
got your own nanny and a chef.
54
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,641
Yeah, this is just a sampling
of the Hollywood dream life I live.
55
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:17,483
I have a whole staff and slew of people
at my estate back at the beach, yeah.
56
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:20,489
I have a personal hygienist,
obsti-nutrionist person...
57
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,650
- ...a magicianist.
- Ha, ha, ha.
58
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:25,695
Well, you brought the whole
damned entourage, my famous son?
59
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,739
- That's right.
- Well, come om in.
60
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:33,370
Actually, there is one other
member of my elite entourage.
61
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,129
A surprise member.
62
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:41,465
Did somebody say
"long-lost husband"?
63
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,885
Oh, fuck me.
64
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,970
Tammy. Tammy, Tammy.
65
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,227
By God, you look as
gorgeous as I remembered.
66
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:53,981
You know, 27 years is a damn long trip
to the store for cigarettes.
67
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:57,815
Ha, ha, ha. Well, I lied to you about that.
I'm sorry, honey.
68
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,366
I wasn't really going to
the store for cigarettes.
69
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,114
Yeah? No shit.
70
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,449
You perfidious prick.
71
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,455
Oh, fuck my ass.
72
00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:14,877
Oh!
73
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,422
I must say, that felt good.
74
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,754
It's going away. No.
There it goes to my stomach.
75
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,340
I want you to get your asses
in the house here...
76
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,630
- ...before the neighbors start talking.
- Okay.
77
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:26,969
She got you good.
78
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:29,759
- That was right in your balls. Crazy.
- Ooh!
79
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:33,180
I don't know how you can trust
that bald one with the baby.
80
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,348
Kenny, you remember
my assistant, Brenda?
81
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,733
Oh, what the fuck's up, Brenda?
I remember you.
82
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,610
You still smoke
those Chihuahua dicks?
83
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,487
- That's right.
- You've been working...
84
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,945
- ...with Brenda for a long tirne now.
- Yes, I have, and Brenda...
85
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,781
...that smiley shithead
with the hat is my ex-husband...
86
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,992
...Eddie Powers.
You've heard the stories.
87
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:53,078
Oh, my God, look at this. You--
88
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,459
You still got our special silverware.
89
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,417
That was the wedding gift
that my mom and daddy gave us.
90
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:01,719
It's been in our family for years.
It dates back to the 1800s.
91
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,626
We were so in love back then.
92
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,216
Oh, kiss my ass.
93
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,178
Kenny, I want to show you
my trophy room.
94
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,637
Trophy room?
95
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:14,020
I've got about four new trophies
since you last saw it, son.
96
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,476
Yeah, I'm gonna go check
out some trophies, dudes.
97
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,890
Let's check them out.
98
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,651
- You made this stuff?
- Just the clothes.
99
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,813
Bodies hand-painted
by little Mexicans.
100
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,450
My wife was Mexican
before she left me.
101
00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:29,201
I'm sorry.
102
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,363
I came inside another woman.
103
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,325
So she left me.
104
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,748
Goddamn it, Kenny.
105
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,921
No heads-up or anything?
106
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,209
Five minutes with that asshole
and I have a migraine already.
107
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,717
What are you holding?
108
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,674
Let's see.
109
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:53,139
I've got Percocet,
and I've got muscle relaxers.
110
00:05:53,312 --> 00:05:55,098
Oh, shit. That's pretty sweet.
111
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,854
Oh, sick, suppositories.
112
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,391
Mix the Percocet with the Xanie,
it's like heroin.
113
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,184
- Is it really?
- That's what I heard.
114
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,194
Why didn't you tell me that before?
115
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,605
I'm rocking this Adderall here.
Keeps me focused.
116
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,569
Even if it does give me a dry mouth...
117
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,155
- ...and occasional constipation.
- I'd like some.
118
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,660
Shit gets real.
119
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,446
- There you go.
- Oh, look at this.
120
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:15,706
My God,
those are IRs and 20s too.
121
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,037
Mm-hm. Can I have"?
122
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,827
Not bad. What is it you want?
123
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,712
Well, I'd have to have just
a few of the muscle relaxers...
124
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,793
- ...a little of those.
- I do feel that.
125
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,674
- Cool, huh?
- Damn, I like that.
126
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,552
That's what all the young kids
are fucking with these days.
127
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,508
Loosens you up.
128
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,184
- Whoa.
- Knock, knock.
129
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,217
- Oh, Lord.
- How we all doing?
130
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,352
Doing cool, just trying
to talk to Mom--
131
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:39,059
Oh, my God, look at that bulletin board.
132
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,723
Let me ask you something.
133
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,438
Who is that strapping young
athlete right there?
134
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,727
It's me.
135
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,067
We done good, didn't we?
136
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:49,903
What's this "we" shit, white man?
137
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:54,071
Call me crazy, but I missed
that sharp tongue of yours.
138
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,330
Not to mention them long legs.
139
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,208
- I don't want to see any of this.
- Don't you breathe on me.
140
00:06:59,378 --> 00:07:02,621
Oh, speaking of missing,
I am missing my daily lane time.
141
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,505
Oh, I got a heH of an Idea.
142
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:09,044
Why don't we go along
and support you, as a family?
143
00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,952
- Ah right, all right, all right.
- Whoo!
144
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,160
Now that's what I call a strike.
145
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:46,376
Oh, well, that's what everybody
calls a strike, asshole.
146
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,509
Still that same old firecracker
that I used to get boners for.
147
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,387
I hope you're not having trouble
getting boners these days.
148
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:58,222
Oh, hell no. I still achieve
powerful, long-lasting boners.
149
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,760
Oh, my God.
150
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:02,100
You really knew
how to light my fire back then.
151
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,935
You think you could still do that?
152
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,568
- I think I could stick a match up your ass.
- Ha, ha, ha!
153
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,194
Have a look at me, woman.
154
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,025
I'm still in pretty good shape.
155
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,316
Your little butt and I are not on speaking terms.
156
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,030
Well, you better start...
157
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:16,660
- ...chatting it up, then.
- Ha, ha, ha.
158
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,915
Look at that con man, out there
prancing his ass in Mom's face.
159
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,825
Got her laughing and shit.
160
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,165
He's got a special touch with the ladies.
161
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,876
All the men in our family
have the special touch.
162
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:30,132
Pssh. Don't put yourself
in that category, Casper.
163
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:33,511
You ain't got no special touches.
Don't act like you're getting pussy.
164
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,547
Me? I fuck like TT Boy.
You don't know What I do.
165
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,308
Pssh. You fuck like TT Boy, the porn star?
166
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:40,764
Yes.
167
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,100
What'd you do with the last chick you fucked?
168
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:47,892
Fingers, ass, pubic play.
169
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,027
Pubic play? What exactly is that?
170
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:54,191
That's when you put your pubic hairs
together, and you go like this:
171
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:56,200
You just mash your
pubic hairs together?
172
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,028
You could start a fucking rug fire
doing that.
173
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,244
Looks like your dad's gonna get
balls deep in your mom tonight.
174
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,795
That means there's hope
for me and Maria.
175
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,327
Guess what. Fuck hope.
176
00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:09,338
I need you to focus on my goals.
What are you doing with Toby?
177
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,124
Hogging him.
Give him to my morn.
178
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,258
Right now, Pop's getting
all the face time.
179
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,930
Maybe I should just kill myself.
180
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:18,340
Maybe you should go grow some eyebrows.
Get out of here, man.
181
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,099
Act like a little bitch.
182
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:26,106
Combo, 1 ball off the side part
to the 3, and to the other part.
183
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:30,362
- Nice.
- Ha, ha, ha.
184
00:09:30,529 --> 00:09:32,941
You got the wrong ball. Ha, ha, ha.
185
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,151
Aah.
186
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,993
Fucking" I dare you.
187
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:48,036
Get the fuck off of me,
you're all fucking sweaty. Get off.
188
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,874
Get off.
189
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,665
Get off. Go.
190
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,296
- Ha, ha, ha.
- Is it"? Is it a buffalo?
191
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:56,722
Video games.
192
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,424
How the fuck is that video games?
193
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,091
- Just look what I'm drawing.
- Is it a goat in a gate?
194
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,885
- Video games.
- Ha, ha, ha.
195
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,723
- Video games.
- It is not video games.
196
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:08,059
- Is that a three-legged dog?
- Not a dog.
197
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,099
You have to show him the pictures.
198
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,018
All right, it's an angel in a car.
199
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,401
- No.
- It's an angel--
200
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,654
- It's a girl with her head smashed in.
- Eh!
201
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,406
You're not on our team.
202
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,034
- Time's up.
- Time's up. Girls win.
203
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,284
Girls win. Yay!
204
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,913
It's a fucking poncho.
205
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,993
- I can see that.
- Are you kidding me?
206
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,954
Good thing you can throw
a baseball...
207
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,961
- ...because you can't draw for shit.
- You draw like a retard.
208
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:34,051
I'm not bad at drawing. Stop it.
209
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,083
Well, okay now, that's--
210
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:39,049
That's about all I can take
for excitement in one night.
211
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,929
That's plenty.
I'm gonna go to bed.
212
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,182
Hold on, hold on a minute, Tammy.
H0\d on, hold on.
213
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,022
I, uh...
214
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,138
I got-- I have something I wanna say...
215
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,808
...and I want everybody
hereto bear witness.
216
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,441
I, um...
217
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,148
It's hard.
218
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:58,651
I've been gone a long time.
219
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:05,614
And I didn't know exactly what it would be
like when I came back...
220
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:11,040
wand you all have made
me feel so at home...
221
00:11:11,213 --> 00:11:15,127
...In spite of the fact
that we've been apart all these years.
222
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:19,297
And I-- I want to assure you...
223
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,711
...all of you...
224
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:27,261
...that I'm gonna do everything I can
to make things right.
225
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:36,652
And I'm-- I'm sorry it took me so long
to come to my senses.
226
00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:42,783
I sincerely hope that you'll accept
my apology.
227
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,866
Okay. That's the end of the speech.
228
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,154
I'm gonna go to bed too.
229
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:50,165
And I'm gonna go out
and sleep out there in the RV.
230
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,042
I don't wanna impose.
231
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,044
And I want this relationship to go slow.
232
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,581
No need to sleep outside.
233
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:59,170
You can sleep in there
on the couch.
234
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:03,094
Really? I don't mind sleeping outside.
235
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:07,224
No, outside is for the dogs.
Inside is for family.
236
00:12:09,271 --> 00:12:11,103
Okay.
237
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:14,186
And the garage is for cars.
238
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,039
Getting ready for bed?
239
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:38,247
I'm just chilling.
Just looking at some old stuff.
240
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,799
Kenny, shame on you.
241
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,131
What did I say about you
smoking weed around me?
242
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,842
- That I have to share.
- Yes, that's right.
243
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,508
- Well, thank you, son.
- You're welcome.
244
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,267
I don't suppose...
245
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:56,065
...any boy wants to party with his mama.
246
00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,727
What's eating at you, son?
247
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,316
It's just tough in Myrtle.
248
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:05,324
I'm stressed out about April, Toby,
fucking Russian people.
249
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,986
Oh, Doschenka-something?
I read all about hirn.
250
00:13:08,163 --> 00:13:11,622
Flavor of the month.
We'll see where he is in 15 years.
251
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,703
See, this is why you're
an awesome parent.
252
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:17,962
It's because you're good at building me up,
and, like, making me feel good about myself.
253
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,793
Unlike April,
the fucking runaway morn.
254
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,551
Oh, now, it's a hard thing
to forgive, isn't it?
255
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,008
I've still got a lot of anger
toward Eddie too.
256
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,923
But I'm trying to be better about it.
257
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,926
No good lugging a lot of hate around.
258
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,514
It will give you ass cancer.
259
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:37,147
Yeah, ain't trying to fuck around
with cancer in my asshole or nothing.
260
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,558
I'm more or less just kind of worried
about Toby.
261
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:44,025
I mean, it does seem pretty important
to have a female lady person in their life.
262
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,530
No, that doesn't matter.
263
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,443
You're better off than a lot of folks.
You've got a nanny and everything.
264
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,744
Yeah, well, that's--
265
00:13:51,915 --> 00:13:53,497
Little Toby, he's got a great life.
266
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,079
- Don't you out me off now.
- No, no--
267
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:59,211
To see you such a good dad,
I don't know where you learned it.
268
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,871
Definitely not from Eddie.
269
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,211
You make me so happy.
270
00:14:04,302 --> 00:14:05,804
Yeah, well...
271
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,803
Okay, now, your turn.
272
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,214
What'd you want to talk to me about?
273
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:14,302
Nothing. Let's hit the sack, huh?
It's been a long day.
274
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,971
We've been playing goddamn Pictionary,
smoking weed...
275
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:20,812
- ...it's probably time to call this a night.
- Yeah, goodnight, baby.
276
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:48,298
Ivan! Ivan! Ivan!
277
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:54,391
Ivan! Ivan! Ivan!
278
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:14,701
Oh, I got her back. I got her
back, front, and side-to-side.
279
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,756
Bullshit. There is no way
she fucking let you sleep with her.
280
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,669
Yep. It almost didn't happen, though.
281
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,304
I had to jerk myself off,
play with her pussy.
282
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:35,717
But in the end, we got it on.
283
00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,305
Mission accomplished.
284
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,311
Goodbye forever, son.
285
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:43,769
Rats.
286
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,652
Okay, what in the hell's going on in here?
287
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:49,358
It's all right.
I caught these two trying to bolt...
288
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,909
...after Dad made love to you.
289
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:53,443
Now he's running off
with your treasures and jewels.
290
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,952
- Wait a minute. Made what?
- To make love to you.
291
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,113
Oh, that Ts not true.
292
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,749
No, he said that he jerked himself off,
and then--
293
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,035
Wait, are you lying?
294
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:05,671
Goddamn it, I demand to know the truth.
295
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,795
All right. You want the truth? Fine.
296
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,960
I came here to rob your mother.
297
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,219
Does it make you feel good to know...
298
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,631
...that I lied to you
about fucking your mother?
299
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:19,677
When, actually, I only got one of the best
blowjobs of my entire life.
300
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,720
Oh, fuck this.
I'm going back to bed.
301
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,811
We worked this one out together.
I came hereto be with you.
302
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:27,352
- Oh, you did not.
- Open your eyes.
303
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,736
He came hereto ditch the kid.
304
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,567
No, I didn't. No.
305
00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,573
You take it back.
I know that's not true.
306
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,120
Don't.
307
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,027
Sorry, Tammy.
308
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,661
Maybe in the next life.
309
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,322
Just go on, get the heH out.
310
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,042
Lights, Casper.
311
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,379
I can barely see anything.
312
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,257
There he is.
313
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:56,347
I can't believe it, it's" I mean, for him to say
something like you came here...
314
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,598
...to get rid of your baby.
315
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,226
That is so unforgivable.
316
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,855
It's not true.
It couldn't possibly be true.
317
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:06,682
Is it?
318
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,852
Well, I didn't come here
to get rid of him.
319
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,567
I was kind of envisioning it
as more of a loan program.
320
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:19,579
It's just really, really super hard for me
to be the man there and also have a son.
321
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,115
I mean, how can I fucking kick ass
all the time...
322
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:24,579
...if I gotta do all this
father shit constantly?“?
323
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:27,461
I mean, I like Toby,
I think that he's awesome...
324
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,964
...but he is really fucking up my shit.
He's the whole entire reason...
325
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:34,547
- ...why April left in the first place.
- Now that's enough of that garbage.
326
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,507
My God.
327
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,888
I am sorry that April hurt your ass...
328
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,177
...and I'm sorry that things
are tough with baseball.
329
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,850
We all have hard times,
even champions.
330
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:51,315
Son, the truth is, is that
someday baseball will end.
331
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:54,071
And April may never come back.
332
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:58,867
But Toby will always be your son.
333
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,537
I've tried, Mom. And I can't.
334
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,241
I can't do It.
335
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:09,878
It's super hard to be Charles in Charge
when you're not fucking Scott Baio.
336
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,959
Just go to bed.
337
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,378
It's fine.
338
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:17,669
I'll take Toby.
339
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,430
I guess you'll be leaving in the morning.
340
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,558
I mean, I could go to your tournament
if you still want me to--
341
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:27,016
Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.
342
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:30,182
You got what you came here for.
343
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,408
Don't hold this shit against me, okay?
344
00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:50,122
This is the only way.
345
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,548
Take it easy, buddy.
346
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,214
Guess it's just you and me.
347
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,349
Two broken men.
348
00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,401
Fuck that.
349
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,917
It's a glorious day
for redemption, Steven.
350
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,536
What the fuck?
351
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:18,916
What the heH are you doing here?
352
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,130
Same as you, I guess.
353
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:25,047
Both just tragic heroes
in the book of life.
354
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,591
We're not so different,
you and I.
355
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,557
That's bullshit.
I'm absolutely nothing like you.
356
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,970
Really?
357
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:35,561
You didn't leave your family and
then come here to get them back?
358
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:40,153
Maybe that one thing
is slightly similar.
359
00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,530
- Let's go, Bobbi.
- Come on, Bobbi.
360
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,236
Watch this, bitch.
361
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:22,400
- I'm all up in your kitchen, bitch.
- Heh.
362
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:23,984
It's the last frame.
363
00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:27,822
If you don't roil triple strikes,
the trophy is mine.
364
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:29,831
Back up.
365
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,330
- That's right.
- All right.
366
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,740
Go girl.
367
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:37,582
VIPs. Move it. Move it.
368
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:39,132
Tammy Powers!
369
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,085
- What?
- What?
370
00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:44,171
I want you to listen to me, please.
371
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,755
It's me, Eddie.
372
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,971
I've come back for you, darling.
373
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:56,434
Morn, it's also me, Kenny.
374
00:21:56,607 --> 00:21:59,395
And I've come back
to reclaim my son.
375
00:21:59,569 --> 00:22:01,856
Get off the lanes,
you fucking idiots.
376
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,987
- This is a championship game.
- Yeah.
377
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:06,865
- Silence, ho.
- Shut up, bitch.
378
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:12,872
I admit that walking out on you last night
and stealing your silverware...
379
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:14,827
...was almost unforgivable.
380
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,163
And I also would like to admit...
381
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,546
...that leaving my son
in the care of my mom...
382
00:22:20,715 --> 00:22:23,298
...due to high levels of stress
in my baseball career...
383
00:22:23,468 --> 00:22:25,379
...was also a very bad thing.
384
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:30,047
Until today, I thought
that I was invincible.
385
00:22:30,224 --> 00:22:33,512
That a-- A steady diet
of international trim...
386
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:37,554
...was all I needed
to survive and thrive.
387
00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:42,067
S01 blissfully banged away
half of Mexico.
388
00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:46,400
Until I realized
that I wasn't really happy.
389
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:51,239
I was just trying to fill the Tammy-sized hole
in my heart...
390
00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:55,906
...with the holes of ridiculously
beautiful prostitutes.
391
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:59,702
And I also have thought;
that raising a child...
392
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:04,339
...is primarily woman's work.
And to be honest, I still do believe that shit.
393
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:06,591
- It is.
- No.
394
00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:07,796
No?
395
00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:11,838
If my madre is strong
enough to be a man...
396
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:16,681
...then Kenny Powers is certainly strong
enough to be a fucking woman.
397
00:23:16,854 --> 00:23:21,269
Tammy, for all the heartbreak
I have caused you...
398
00:23:21,442 --> 00:23:23,558
...and I've caused some...
399
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,113
...I-- I'm sorry...
400
00:23:25,279 --> 00:23:29,147
...and I-- I want you back. Forever.
401
00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:31,862
And I also want to tell you
that I am sorry.
402
00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:33,618
And I'd like back my son.
403
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,404
Forever.
404
00:23:35,581 --> 00:23:38,664
Or at least until April returns!
To claim him.
405
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,871
- We love you.
- We love you.
406
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:48,841
It's true you both have hurt me deeply.
407
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,593
But I'm no saint.
408
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:53,972
And I have done my fair share
of fucked-up shit too.
409
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:57,055
So it wouldn't be fair
to judge two men...
410
00:23:57,228 --> 00:24:00,061
...who have either entered, Eddie,
or exited, Kenny...
411
00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:01,892
...my vagina.
412
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:05,275
But your speeches have shown me
that you really do care.
413
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,732
And I accept your apologies.
414
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,521
Yeah!
415
00:24:12,869 --> 00:24:15,531
- My son.
- Come on, baby.
416
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:18,948
- Guess who's back, motherfucker?
- I said I forgive you. I never--
417
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:20,741
I've been patient enough.
418
00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:25,003
And now, watch me bury this bozo.
419
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,013
Yes!
420
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,477
That's it, Tam.
421
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,101
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
422
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,747
Go on, go on.
423
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:48,791
The speech was good.
424
00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:51,002
Yeah, yours wasn't too bad, either.
425
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:52,882
You get that from me, you know.
426
00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:55,669
Your throwing arm,
that's from your mama.
427
00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:58,975
But your orating skills,
that's all me.
428
00:25:59,141 --> 00:26:01,929
Yeah, well, I can definitely see
similarities in our styles.
429
00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:04,310
Your bald head actually
doesn't look that bad.
430
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,018
Oh, thank you. I like the hair
on your shoulders and your neck.
431
00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:11,563
Hey.
432
00:26:11,737 --> 00:26:13,148
Hold on, hold on.
433
00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:15,484
You're not taking my grandbaby
on that thing.
434
00:26:15,658 --> 00:26:17,695
How do you expect us
to get back to Myrtle?
435
00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,859
No. Not my grandbaby.
You take the minivan.
436
00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:22,870
- Oh, fuck no. I'm not driving the minivan.
- Oh, hell you are.
437
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,292
Listen to your mom, son.
438
00:26:24,458 --> 00:26:27,371
Don't you tell me you're not.
You cannot take a baby...
439
00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:29,377
Chapter six.
440
00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:32,289
Fucking making straight-up
decisions now, dude.
441
00:26:32,633 --> 00:26:35,045
As my epic comeback
nears its zenith...
442
00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:37,460
...I can't help but look back
at the low times...
443
00:26:37,638 --> 00:26:39,629
...when there was no hope
or light.
444
00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:42,890
There's an old expression
that has guided me...
445
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,677
...through the dark valleys
and hazy cul-de-sacs of life.
446
00:26:45,855 --> 00:26:48,062
"Nut up or sack up. "
447
00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:50,974
It means when life gets you all swirly
and thought-ridden...
448
00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:52,358
...shut it out.
449
00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:56,192
Let the two spherical sperm factories
underneath your dick take over.
450
00:26:58,451 --> 00:27:00,658
They don't think,
they don't get confused.
451
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,035
They churn and attack.
452
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:07,411
And in moments of doubt,
my default setting is always to attack.
453
00:27:07,585 --> 00:27:11,874
Whether it be a hitter, or an ump,
or a loved one who has stepped out of line.
35230
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