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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,253 --> 00:00:11,923
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Ugh! This sucks, Mom.
12
00:00:38,265 --> 00:00:40,888
We really have to spend the whole day
cleaning out the garage?
13
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Yeah, come on, Lois.
14
00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:44,881
You know I have plans today
to go see Pervert Hamlet.
15
00:00:44,882 --> 00:00:45,914
To be...
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00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,501
with this skull sexually,
17
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or not to be...
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00:00:50,053 --> 00:00:52,515
with this skull sexually.
19
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That is the question...
20
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I answered when I was
with this skull sexually
21
00:00:58,319 --> 00:01:00,397
a little while ago.
22
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,634
Huh. All these spray paint cans
are empty.
23
00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:06,903
What? Really?
24
00:01:06,904 --> 00:01:08,938
(LAUGHING): H-How could such a thing
25
00:01:08,939 --> 00:01:10,942
have come to pass?
26
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Screw this. Quick,
before your mother gets back,
27
00:01:14,945 --> 00:01:16,245
everything in the garbage.
28
00:01:16,246 --> 00:01:17,748
We're throwing all this stuff out.
29
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,450
Wait. You're throwing away
Stewie's Big Wheel?
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Relax. It's not even his.
31
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I took it from a front lawn
after a rain storm.
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(CAN RATTLING)
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00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,615
I thought they'd never leave,
Factory Red.
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So, I guess Thanos got the Mind Stone.
35
00:01:42,611 --> 00:01:44,047
Wow. So now he's got all of 'em.
36
00:01:44,048 --> 00:01:46,172
- I guess so.
- What does that mean for us?
37
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I have no idea.
38
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I knew it was gonna be us.
39
00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:55,457
Oh, my God. There's a hot woman
over at the bar.
40
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You know, I never forget
the back of a head.
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I don't think we've met.
I'm Glenn Quagmire.
42
00:02:00,796 --> 00:02:02,731
I'm sure that kind of thing works great
43
00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:05,267
for the younger crowd, but I'm 44.
44
00:02:05,268 --> 00:02:07,735
44? Oh-ho, why am I trying so hard?
45
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:09,404
Come on, let's get out of here.
46
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Look, I'm not some bimbo who
falls for tired pickup lines.
47
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Wow. That was painful.
48
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Like that time I passed
a kidney Stone Phillips.
49
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(GROANING): Oh!
50
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Aah! Aah!
51
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(SPLASHING)
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KIDNEY STONE PHILLIPS:
Or was it... murder?
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- Hey, Doug.
- Hey, Stewie.
54
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Taking the Big Wheel out for a spin?
55
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Yep. Where are you headed?
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Oh, I was just gonna
drive through some puddles
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and see how long my tracks stay wet.
58
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The record is seven sidewalk
squares, by yours truly.
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(LAUGHING): Allegedly.
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(LAUGHING):
Okay, get out of here, you nut.
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00:02:47,943 --> 00:02:50,346
What the deuce? Where is it?
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(SIGHS) Boy, I tell ya,
no better way to start your day
63
00:03:01,191 --> 00:03:03,191
than a morning dump
in a neighbor's yard.
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00:03:03,192 --> 00:03:04,692
QUAGMIRE: Come on, Brian!
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It was a soft steamer,
almost impossible to pick up.
66
00:03:07,864 --> 00:03:09,798
Brian, have you seen my Big Wheel?
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00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,199
I can't find it anywhere!
68
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,501
What? No. Did you look...?
69
00:03:12,502 --> 00:03:13,869
Oh, wait a minute.
70
00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:15,971
Peter threw out a bunch of stuff
from the garage yesterday.
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00:03:15,972 --> 00:03:17,471
Maybe it was in there.
72
00:03:17,472 --> 00:03:21,144
Threw it out? But today
is our trash pick up day!
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00:03:22,878 --> 00:03:24,534
(GASPS) We're too late!
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I've got to get that Big Wheel back.
75
00:03:26,049 --> 00:03:27,882
Will you drive me to the town dump?
76
00:03:27,883 --> 00:03:30,552
Really? Can't we just maybe
buy you a new one?
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00:03:30,553 --> 00:03:32,387
No, Brian. It has to be that Big Wheel.
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It's very special to me.
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I lost my V-card on that thing.
80
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You what?
81
00:03:37,693 --> 00:03:40,561
Yep, went over a speed bump
really fast and broke my hymen.
82
00:03:40,562 --> 00:03:42,030
Stewie, you don't have a hymen.
83
00:03:42,031 --> 00:03:44,066
- Yeah, not anymore.
- No, you're a boy.
84
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,668
I have to correct you there,
Brian. I'm a man.
85
00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,336
'Cause, you know... broken hymen.
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Boys don't have hymens!
87
00:03:50,173 --> 00:03:52,840
Okay, then I may have just
ripped my taint.
88
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,077
Either way, I love that bike!
89
00:04:00,048 --> 00:04:01,350
Hi. Can you help us?
90
00:04:01,351 --> 00:04:03,184
We're trying to locate a lost Big Wh...
91
00:04:03,185 --> 00:04:04,720
- (INSECTS BUZZING)
- My God,
92
00:04:04,721 --> 00:04:06,722
there's just so...
93
00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:08,924
much... garbage.
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(MOANING)
95
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Yes, we are in search of a Big Wheel
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00:04:14,396 --> 00:04:17,032
that was erroneously discarded
and collected today.
97
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:20,701
Oh, then it probably came in
with the morning load.
98
00:04:20,702 --> 00:04:23,071
Sorry. That term always makes me blush.
99
00:04:23,072 --> 00:04:26,275
But if it just came in, that's bad news.
100
00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:28,710
Usually the newest, top layer of trash
101
00:04:28,711 --> 00:04:30,781
just blows right into the ocean.
102
00:04:34,951 --> 00:04:37,953
Yeah, I'm afraid your Big Wheel
may be gones for good.
103
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Dear God, this is horrible!
104
00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:42,391
I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind!
105
00:04:43,558 --> 00:04:46,962
Phew. Ooh, something smells good
in this box.
106
00:04:46,963 --> 00:04:49,600
I'm blind! I'm blind! I'm blind!
107
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,138
Damn it. Monica's not responding
to any of my texts.
108
00:04:57,139 --> 00:04:59,640
You're still trying
to bang that 44-year-old?
109
00:04:59,641 --> 00:05:01,143
- What are you sending her?
- Mostly porn.
110
00:05:01,144 --> 00:05:02,477
Just shots of rods.
111
00:05:02,478 --> 00:05:04,746
All angles. Up, down, left, right.
112
00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:07,749
Lois, maybe you could help me
ask out this woman I met.
113
00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:09,326
She's close to your age.
114
00:05:09,327 --> 00:05:11,152
But she won't respond
to any of my texts.
115
00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:12,487
Oh, well, that's easy.
116
00:05:12,488 --> 00:05:15,324
Just ask her if she's all
caught up on This Is Us.
117
00:05:16,826 --> 00:05:17,992
(PHONE VIBRATES)
118
00:05:17,993 --> 00:05:20,996
She says, "I'm one behind,
so no spoilers.
119
00:05:20,997 --> 00:05:24,633
Hysterical laughing face,
hysterical laughing face."
120
00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:26,167
How-how is that funny?
121
00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:27,602
It's not, but you're in.
122
00:05:27,603 --> 00:05:30,004
Great. This is exactly
the stuff I need to know.
123
00:05:30,005 --> 00:05:33,174
Lois, will you teach me the ways
of the middle-aged woman?
124
00:05:33,175 --> 00:05:35,477
All right. I'm a sucker for romance.
125
00:05:35,478 --> 00:05:38,313
Thanks, Lois. This could open up
a whole new world for me.
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00:05:38,314 --> 00:05:40,448
Like one of those kids who gets a device
127
00:05:40,449 --> 00:05:42,952
that allows them to hear
for the first time.
128
00:05:43,985 --> 00:05:47,289
- Billy, can you hear?
- Yes!
129
00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:50,303
Amazing! This is amazing.
130
00:05:50,304 --> 00:05:52,027
Your mom and I are going
to get a divorce.
131
00:05:52,028 --> 00:05:53,494
I'm in love with someone else,
132
00:05:53,495 --> 00:05:56,299
and I didn't want
to say it with the silly hands.
133
00:06:01,065 --> 00:06:03,003
Brian, I've been doing research
on my Big Wheel.
134
00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:04,705
If it ended up in the ocean,
135
00:06:04,706 --> 00:06:07,174
it most likely has traveled
to Garbage Island.
136
00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:08,876
What's Garbage Island?
137
00:06:08,877 --> 00:06:11,713
The other name for the
North Atlantic Garbage Patch,
138
00:06:11,714 --> 00:06:13,381
an enormous cluster of man-made debris
139
00:06:13,382 --> 00:06:15,350
floating in the middle of the ocean.
140
00:06:15,351 --> 00:06:17,318
This is terrible.
We got to raise awareness,
141
00:06:17,319 --> 00:06:19,186
- let people know about it.
- I agree.
142
00:06:19,187 --> 00:06:21,619
It's like a giant garbage whirlpool.
143
00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:24,603
Brian?
144
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,496
You heard me.
145
00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:29,864
Anyway, I'm heading there
to find my Big Wheel.
146
00:06:29,865 --> 00:06:31,165
Perhaps you'll come with me.
147
00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:32,734
Boating to an island of garbage?
148
00:06:32,735 --> 00:06:35,035
I'm in. Maybe Peter will come, too.
149
00:06:35,036 --> 00:06:37,172
Hey, Peter, want to go on a boat ride?
150
00:06:37,173 --> 00:06:40,708
Oh, uh, I can't be in stories
for a couple of episodes.
151
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:43,045
(WHISPERING): I'm real-life pregnant.
152
00:06:44,247 --> 00:06:46,080
Oh, my God. I had no idea.
153
00:06:46,081 --> 00:06:47,349
(HIGH-PITCHED): I know!
154
00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,920
Anyway, Mama's got to get off her feet.
155
00:06:57,259 --> 00:07:00,595
All right, time to retrieve my
Big Wheel from Garbage Island.
156
00:07:00,596 --> 00:07:02,763
Let's do it.
157
00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:05,032
Hey, how'd you get the money
to rent this boat anyway?
158
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,370
Oh, I got a part-time job at Target.
159
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:15,109
Okay, technically, I work at
the weird, in-store Pizza Hut.
160
00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:17,044
ANNOUNCER:
The Target In-Store Pizza Hut.
161
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:20,916
Feed it to your fat kid while
you buy off-brand tennis shoes.
162
00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:26,955
Now, Glenn, I'm gonna help you
get into the mind
163
00:07:26,956 --> 00:07:28,390
of a middle-aged woman.
164
00:07:28,391 --> 00:07:31,393
STEP ONE: we all go frigging
nuts over Yankee Candles,
165
00:07:31,394 --> 00:07:34,563
so to help you learn all the
flavors, I made a little quiz.
166
00:07:34,564 --> 00:07:36,965
I'm gonna give you a name,
and you tell me
167
00:07:36,966 --> 00:07:39,734
if it's the name of
a Yankee Candle or a porn star.
168
00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:41,970
- Okay.
- Black Coconut.
169
00:07:41,971 --> 00:07:43,237
Porn star?
170
00:07:43,238 --> 00:07:46,073
No, that's a candle. Amber Gold.
171
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,576
- Candle?
- That is a candle.
172
00:07:48,577 --> 00:07:50,578
April Showers.
173
00:07:50,579 --> 00:07:52,580
Um... both?
174
00:07:52,581 --> 00:07:56,751
Very good. I tried to trick you
there, but you got it. Both.
175
00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:58,419
Okay, okay, I'm writing this all down.
176
00:07:58,420 --> 00:08:01,489
But, Lois, Monica agreed
to have dinner with me tomorrow.
177
00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:03,924
- That's great!
- I suppose.
178
00:08:03,925 --> 00:08:06,294
But I don't think
I can pull it off by myself.
179
00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:07,828
Will you come and just be nearby
180
00:08:07,829 --> 00:08:09,830
to give me tips and help me
get through it?
181
00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:12,100
Fine, but I'll have
to rearrange my schedule.
182
00:08:12,101 --> 00:08:14,335
Friday nights are when
Peter and I do edibles
183
00:08:14,336 --> 00:08:16,005
and go to the aquarium.
184
00:08:19,442 --> 00:08:21,442
This is awesome.
185
00:08:21,443 --> 00:08:23,845
Peter, I'm freaking out.
186
00:08:23,846 --> 00:08:26,649
Yeah, don't-don't...
don't ruin it for me.
187
00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:39,960
Okay, I spy something blue.
188
00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:42,663
Uh... the ocean?
189
00:08:42,664 --> 00:08:44,132
Nope.
190
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,466
The sky?
191
00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,134
Hey, you got it in two, bud.
192
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,302
That ties the record.
193
00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:49,503
Stewie, I'm starting to wonder
194
00:08:49,504 --> 00:08:51,639
if we didn't think this
all the way through.
195
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:52,974
No, it's fine.
196
00:08:52,975 --> 00:08:55,161
It'll all be worth it
once we get to Garbage Island.
197
00:08:56,211 --> 00:08:58,146
Not a lot of wind today.
198
00:08:58,147 --> 00:08:59,714
No.
199
00:08:59,715 --> 00:09:01,483
Hey, what causes wind?
200
00:09:01,484 --> 00:09:03,718
Well, if my reading material
has taught me anything,
201
00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:06,156
it's just a cloud with lips.
202
00:09:08,224 --> 00:09:10,225
Blustery...
203
00:09:10,226 --> 00:09:12,027
is a good word.
204
00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:13,494
Uh-huh.
205
00:09:13,495 --> 00:09:16,196
Mm... Moana.
206
00:09:16,899 --> 00:09:19,500
Mm.
207
00:09:20,243 --> 00:09:21,908
I never saw Moana.
208
00:09:22,837 --> 00:09:26,277
You never saw Moana?
209
00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:40,423
(PHONE VIBRATES)
210
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,268
Your blowout looks nice.
211
00:09:53,269 --> 00:09:54,702
Oh, thanks.
212
00:09:54,703 --> 00:09:58,205
So, um, I noticed a yoga mat
in the back of your car.
213
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,777
- How often do you do yoga?
- (PHONE VIBRATES)
214
00:10:13,755 --> 00:10:15,389
- Is everything all right?
- Hmm?
215
00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:16,725
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry.
216
00:10:16,726 --> 00:10:19,561
My, um... my-my dad
locked himself out of his car.
217
00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,562
Oh, sorry. Do you need to help him?
218
00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:23,431
Um, no, uh, no. He, um, he broke, uh...
219
00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:24,798
broke the window with his foot.
220
00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:27,067
High heel. My dad's a woman now.
221
00:10:27,068 --> 00:10:29,605
- Oh.
- (PHONE VIBRATES)
222
00:10:36,578 --> 00:10:38,245
(CHUCKLES) You're lucky we came here.
223
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,980
I almost suggested Mickey D's.
224
00:10:39,981 --> 00:10:42,617
(LAUGHING): Oh, my God.
225
00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:43,984
That's so informal.
226
00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,653
Are you talking about McDonald's?
227
00:10:45,654 --> 00:10:47,287
- (CHUCKLES): Yeah, yeah!
- (PHONE VIBRATES)
228
00:10:47,288 --> 00:10:49,490
Another thing
I was just thinking about is...
229
00:10:49,491 --> 00:10:51,426
"AMBER Alert, white Honda Accord,
230
00:10:51,427 --> 00:10:53,260
license plate..." Uh, uh, I mean,
231
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:56,096
Pinterest sure has
some neat pictures of sinks.
232
00:10:56,097 --> 00:10:57,666
Doesn't it?
233
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,834
Listen, what if we just bail on dinner
234
00:10:59,835 --> 00:11:01,635
and head back to my place?
235
00:11:01,636 --> 00:11:02,838
Great! I'm in.
236
00:11:08,510 --> 00:11:10,698
Wait! You have to pay for the bread.
237
00:11:10,699 --> 00:11:11,908
Hey!
238
00:11:12,814 --> 00:11:15,317
You have to pay for the bread!
239
00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:18,853
You have to pay for the bread!
240
00:11:18,854 --> 00:11:21,188
You have to pay for the bread!
241
00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,456
The bread!
242
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,993
(CRYING): You have to pay
243
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:26,661
for the bread!
244
00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:29,699
(CRYING)
245
00:11:33,369 --> 00:11:35,036
(CREAKING)
246
00:11:35,037 --> 00:11:36,370
(GRUNTING)
247
00:11:36,371 --> 00:11:38,307
Moana?
248
00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:45,048
Oh, my God. Brian. Look!
249
00:11:49,217 --> 00:11:50,851
We made it!
250
00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:52,986
We made it to Garbage Island!
251
00:11:52,987 --> 00:11:55,223
My God, I don't believe it.
252
00:11:55,224 --> 00:11:57,691
Whoa, look at all the packaging
from Mickey D's.
253
00:11:57,692 --> 00:11:59,694
What? Oh, my God, I've never heard that.
254
00:11:59,695 --> 00:12:02,162
"Mickey D's." That is just great.
255
00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:04,364
Anyway, let's start looking
for my Big Wheel.
256
00:12:04,365 --> 00:12:07,000
Hey, check it out,
a VCR just sitting here.
257
00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:09,037
I'm taking this sucker home.
258
00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:10,039
(GRUNTS)
259
00:12:10,706 --> 00:12:11,841
(GASPS)
260
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:17,959
- Oh, crap.
- Brian, you idiot.
261
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,103
Now how the hell are we supposed
to get back to land?
262
00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:21,790
We're both going to die.
263
00:12:21,791 --> 00:12:25,164
Oh, look, a message in a bottle
is washing up.
264
00:12:25,165 --> 00:12:26,755
Maybe this'll help.
265
00:12:27,856 --> 00:12:29,758
PETER: DEAR ENGLAND: Enclosed,
266
00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:33,427
please find one bottle fart
in exchange for Russell Brand.
267
00:12:33,428 --> 00:12:35,864
We feel this is
appropriate compensation.
268
00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:38,099
Yours, et cetera, America.
269
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,934
- (FLATULENCE)
- (GROANING)
270
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:50,254
Damn it, Brian!
How could you sink our boat?
271
00:12:50,255 --> 00:12:51,543
We're going to die!
272
00:12:51,544 --> 00:12:53,104
MAN: You guys need any help?
273
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,044
- Aah!
- Aah! Who the hell are you?
274
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:56,754
Name's Taylor. 'Sup?
275
00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:57,989
How the hell did you get here?
276
00:12:57,990 --> 00:13:00,812
Oh, I, uh...
I-I fell off a booze cruise.
277
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,355
- You what?
- Yep, washed up here.
278
00:13:03,356 --> 00:13:05,060
Matter of fact, we all did.
279
00:13:08,129 --> 00:13:10,431
How are you all planning
to get back home?
280
00:13:10,432 --> 00:13:13,190
Get back home?
Why would we want to do that?
281
00:13:13,191 --> 00:13:15,916
Yeah, we've got everything we need here.
282
00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:19,107
There's tons of free,
half-eaten food that washes up.
283
00:13:19,108 --> 00:13:21,744
And we just bang each other all day.
284
00:13:21,745 --> 00:13:23,379
That, uh...
285
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:25,195
that doesn't sound terrible.
286
00:13:25,196 --> 00:13:28,250
Hey, so, we've been stuck
out here for over 20 years.
287
00:13:28,251 --> 00:13:30,119
Can you catch us up
on all the important things
288
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,288
that we've missed?
289
00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,126
So, no way!
290
00:13:38,127 --> 00:13:40,462
Kylie Jenner and Tyga
are no longer together?
291
00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:41,963
Splitsville, my friend.
292
00:13:41,964 --> 00:13:44,232
How did Robert Kardashian die?
293
00:13:44,233 --> 00:13:46,401
- Guilt cancer.
- From what?
294
00:13:46,402 --> 00:13:47,904
Oh, boy.
295
00:13:52,390 --> 00:13:55,627
So people thought the dancing
Judge Itos were funny?
296
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:56,628
For a while, yes.
297
00:13:56,629 --> 00:13:58,196
Is Leno still doing it?
298
00:13:58,197 --> 00:13:59,797
No, he's not hosting anymore.
299
00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,867
Oh, so Conan got The Tonight Show?
300
00:14:01,868 --> 00:14:03,537
- (SIGHS)
- Oh, come o...
301
00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:11,143
A-And so what about
Craig Kilborn? Is he still on?
302
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:12,476
I'm actually right here.
303
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,618
Oh, right. Hey, Craig.
304
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,387
Oh, hi, Glenn.
305
00:14:22,388 --> 00:14:23,989
I haven't seen you in a while.
306
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:25,556
H-How are things with Monica?
307
00:14:25,557 --> 00:14:26,725
Who?
308
00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:29,393
Monica, y-your hot date
from the other night.
309
00:14:29,394 --> 00:14:31,062
Oh, yeah. I plowed her. Thanks again.
310
00:14:31,063 --> 00:14:33,231
But-but I thought she was the one.
311
00:14:33,232 --> 00:14:34,499
Yeah, no, what I realized is
312
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,067
that all those texts you sent me,
313
00:14:36,068 --> 00:14:37,402
they're like my bible now.
314
00:14:37,403 --> 00:14:40,004
I just keep using these
same tips on different women.
315
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,406
I owe you, Lois.
316
00:14:41,407 --> 00:14:44,576
You've opened up a whole world
of middle-aged legs to me.
317
00:14:44,577 --> 00:14:46,244
(HUMMING)
318
00:14:46,245 --> 00:14:49,715
Oh, my God. Quagmire's
terrorizing middle-aged women,
319
00:14:49,716 --> 00:14:51,682
and I'm responsible for it.
320
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,746
I've created a monster.
321
00:14:58,191 --> 00:15:01,093
Oh, no! My Luna Bar for women.
322
00:15:01,094 --> 00:15:03,230
(HAUNTING MUSIC PLAYING)
323
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,869
♪ ♪
324
00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:15,706
Please call the DWP.
325
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,276
I'm stuck in here.
326
00:15:17,277 --> 00:15:19,279
♪ ♪
327
00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:24,615
(SEABIRD SQUAWKS IN DISTANCE)
328
00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,618
Hey, what day is it?
329
00:15:26,619 --> 00:15:28,085
Trash day.
330
00:15:28,086 --> 00:15:30,622
(BOTH LAUGHING)
331
00:15:30,623 --> 00:15:32,758
Brian, look, I found my Big Wheel.
332
00:15:32,759 --> 00:15:34,960
- Cool.
- It's more than cool, Brian.
333
00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:37,461
I believe the Big Wheel
may actually be our ticket
334
00:15:37,462 --> 00:15:38,629
off the island.
335
00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:39,965
You see, I've calculated that,
336
00:15:39,966 --> 00:15:41,399
even with both of our weights,
337
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,234
it will still be capable of flotation.
338
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:44,735
My plan is to attach
339
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:47,071
six Jimmy Buffett
margarita machines to it,
340
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:49,307
which should be able to propel us home.
341
00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:51,810
Home? I don't think I want to go home.
342
00:15:51,811 --> 00:15:53,811
What? What are you talking about?
343
00:15:53,812 --> 00:15:56,148
I'm saying I like it here
on Garbage Island.
344
00:15:56,149 --> 00:15:57,983
O-Okay, I-I don't think
I can talk to you,
345
00:15:57,984 --> 00:15:59,484
because, right now,
you're making less sense
346
00:15:59,485 --> 00:16:01,820
than an M.C. Escher floor plan.
347
00:16:01,821 --> 00:16:04,288
So, how's it coming?
348
00:16:04,289 --> 00:16:06,157
Are we gonna finish on schedule?
349
00:16:06,158 --> 00:16:07,426
I don't know, Mr. Escher.
350
00:16:07,427 --> 00:16:09,760
I've never put six stairways
all in one spot.
351
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,662
And I've lost, like,
ten of my guys in here.
352
00:16:11,663 --> 00:16:13,933
Hey, I need a hammer!
353
00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,926
I hate this place! I quit!
354
00:16:19,304 --> 00:16:21,107
(GRUNTS)
355
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:28,346
Uh, 'scuse me, I'm-I'm looking
for anything by...
356
00:16:28,347 --> 00:16:29,681
Mike "Bubble"?
357
00:16:29,682 --> 00:16:31,682
LOIS: It's "Bublé," you idiot!
358
00:16:31,683 --> 00:16:33,317
Oh, hey, Lo... Ow!
359
00:16:33,318 --> 00:16:34,820
That feels great!
360
00:16:34,821 --> 00:16:37,489
Glenn Quagmire, I tried
to help you meet a nice woman,
361
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:39,691
but you just couldn't help
yourself, could you?
362
00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:41,026
What are you talking about?
363
00:16:41,027 --> 00:16:42,960
I thought I was helping you find love,
364
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,796
and, instead, you used me as a tool
365
00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:47,699
to get down every middle-aged
woman's pants in town.
366
00:16:47,700 --> 00:16:49,534
Slacks, Lois. They call them slacks.
367
00:16:49,535 --> 00:16:52,170
You wouldn't know that
if it wasn't for me!
368
00:16:52,171 --> 00:16:53,704
(SIGHS) You're right.
369
00:16:53,705 --> 00:16:56,474
You were kind to me,
and I took advantage of it.
370
00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,463
I owe you an apology.
371
00:16:58,464 --> 00:17:00,498
Well, thank you.
372
00:17:00,499 --> 00:17:02,012
Here, let me make it up to you.
373
00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,149
I'll buy you a coffee, and...
374
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:06,218
do you like the music of Ray...
375
00:17:06,219 --> 00:17:07,551
"LaMountain"?
376
00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:08,886
"LaMontagne."
377
00:17:08,887 --> 00:17:10,721
Thank you. Hey, beautiful,
378
00:17:10,722 --> 00:17:12,891
you want to take
a pointless girl-stride walk
379
00:17:12,892 --> 00:17:14,992
and listen to Ray LaMontagne?
380
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,394
- Sure.
- Great.
381
00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:17,854
See ya, Lois.
382
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,834
Last chance, Brian.
383
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,744
You're really not coming with me?
384
00:17:24,745 --> 00:17:26,505
I'm sorry, Stewie. I'm not.
385
00:17:26,506 --> 00:17:28,172
I know it's weird to say, but...
386
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,674
it's kind of just too perfect
for me here.
387
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:31,876
I see.
388
00:17:31,877 --> 00:17:33,377
Well, I should go.
389
00:17:33,378 --> 00:17:35,846
Fort Lauderdale Tanya found
a four-piece puzzle
390
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,015
she's been struggling with.
391
00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,849
TANYA: Where does the cow go?
392
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,585
It's all corners, babe.
393
00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:42,536
(SIGHS) I have to say,
394
00:17:42,537 --> 00:17:45,257
I never imagined
saying goodbye to you, Brian.
395
00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:47,705
So long take very good care
396
00:17:47,706 --> 00:17:49,994
dear friend of mine farewell.
397
00:17:49,995 --> 00:17:51,363
That's odd phrasing.
398
00:17:51,364 --> 00:17:53,230
Sorry, it's been hard to think straight.
399
00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:56,201
From the moment we arrived,
I've either been drunk or ejaculating.
400
00:17:56,202 --> 00:17:58,769
These are things
you don't say to a baby.
401
00:17:58,770 --> 00:18:00,739
Goodbye, Brian.
402
00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:02,740
Goodbye, Stewie.
403
00:18:02,741 --> 00:18:04,744
♪ ♪
404
00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:17,790
(WHIRRING)
405
00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:29,633
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la-la, my lady ♪
406
00:18:29,634 --> 00:18:33,305
♪ In the sun with your hair undone ♪
407
00:18:33,306 --> 00:18:34,972
♪ Can you hear me now ♪
408
00:18:34,973 --> 00:18:39,479
♪ Callin' your name
from across the bay? ♪
409
00:18:40,980 --> 00:18:44,783
♪ A summer's day laughin' and a-hidin' ♪
410
00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:49,954
♪ Chasin' love out on Thunder Island ♪
411
00:18:49,955 --> 00:18:52,289
♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do ♪
412
00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:54,291
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
413
00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:55,759
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
414
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,329
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪
415
00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:01,266
♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪
416
00:19:01,267 --> 00:19:03,335
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
417
00:19:03,336 --> 00:19:05,303
- ♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪
- (SCREAMING)
418
00:19:05,304 --> 00:19:09,776
♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪
419
00:19:16,449 --> 00:19:18,349
Stewie, what the hell's going on?
420
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:19,817
We're back in Quahog?
421
00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:21,987
- We are, Brian.
- Why? What happened?
422
00:19:21,988 --> 00:19:24,456
You're an enormously important
part of my life, Brian,
423
00:19:24,457 --> 00:19:26,624
and I couldn't bear
the thought of losing you.
424
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:28,793
I assumed it unlikely
you'd change your mind,
425
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,863
so I added the fans
from many, many Dell laptops
426
00:19:31,864 --> 00:19:33,198
to the back of my Big Wheel
427
00:19:33,199 --> 00:19:35,700
so I could simply
tow everyone back to land.
428
00:19:35,701 --> 00:19:36,701
Wow.
429
00:19:36,702 --> 00:19:37,969
Thank you.
430
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,837
That means a lot to me.
431
00:19:39,838 --> 00:19:41,972
Well, our journey taught me
something, Brian.
432
00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,843
You can throw away just about
anything in this world,
433
00:19:44,844 --> 00:19:47,479
but you can't throw away a friendship.
434
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,547
No, you can't, Stewie.
435
00:19:49,548 --> 00:19:51,650
Cool if I say goodbye to the garbage?
436
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:54,885
You do what you got to do,
you gross dog.
437
00:19:54,886 --> 00:19:57,322
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪
438
00:19:57,323 --> 00:20:00,491
♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do ♪
439
00:20:00,492 --> 00:20:02,360
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
440
00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:04,662
♪ Do-do-do-do, do-do-do ♪
441
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:08,667
♪ Do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do. ♪
442
00:20:13,506 --> 00:20:15,739
♪ Sweet sunshine ♪
443
00:20:15,740 --> 00:20:19,044
♪ So, sha-la-la-la-la-la ♪
444
00:20:19,045 --> 00:20:20,511
♪ My lady ♪
445
00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:24,015
♪ In the sun with your dress undone ♪
446
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,883
♪ Now every mile aw... ♪
447
00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:27,887
(MUZAK VERSION
OF "THUNDER ISLAND" PLAYING)
448
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:46,037
Sausage and pepperoni for Alan?
449
00:20:46,038 --> 00:20:47,204
Alan?
450
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:50,208
(SNIFFS) God, that smells good,
doesn't it?
451
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:51,610
- Alan?
- Yeah.
452
00:20:51,611 --> 00:20:54,078
But, actually, I ordered just pepperoni.
453
00:20:54,079 --> 00:20:57,216
(SIGHS) Can I see your receipt?
454
00:21:00,904 --> 00:21:04,342
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -
33039
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