Original subtitles

[***]

It's Thanksgiving day,

And you know what that means,

Too much Turkey, too much family,

But never too much holiday music.

That's why now, right through new year's day,

We'll be playing nothing but your favorite holiday songs

24 hours a day.

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride to grandma's

With New York's number one holiday connection,

94.7 wnyj...

Lisa, look, if that's how you feel,

Then maybe we should just, you know,

Cool it between us for a while.

No, I'm not "jumping ship"

I'm just being realistic about our future.

Yeah, I'm not really sure we have one.

I know, me too.

It was fun while it lasted, though, right?

Lisa?

Hello?

Lisa, are you there? Hello.

[Christmas Carols play on radio, traffic roaring]

[Sighs heavily]

Can they not wait till December

To haul out the Christmas music?

Nice talking to you.

Evie, what are you waiting for?

Come on, it's getting cold here.

Oh, Robbie,

You couldn't make it through Thanksgiving

With this girl?

What's wrong with you?

Nothing's wrong with me.

Lisa was very high maintenance, that's all.

Yeah, well, she's a woman, what do you expect?

[Laughing triumphantly]

Hey!

Nice, butch.

Is that what you've been teaching your son

All these years?

No wonder he can't have a relationship.

Come on, evie-pie, I was just kidding.

Mom, I can have a relationship, all right?

So, this one must be some kind of record,

Huh, rob-o?

Yeah, rob-o, I mean,

Don't you usually wait till Christmas week

Before you cut bait?

I don't know what it is.

You know, I mean,

Maybe it's all the expectation

And the pressure around the holidays to be happy,

But, you know, all these women I've been seeing,

It's like, they take one look at a Turkey leg,

Or a Christmas tree,

And they want to go out

And start shopping for wedding rings or something.

I mean, what the heck is that?

All right, you know what, mom,

Dad, everybody,

I appreciate your concern, I really, all right?

But I'm totally fine, all right?

I am 100% positively fine.

Veal or eggplant parm?

Honey, it's a food choice, it's not a life commitment.

I think I'm gonna take some of each.

[Laughing]

There you go.

What is this, a restaurant? I like to keep my options open!

Pass me some wine, please?

Red or white?

[All laughing]

[Whispering furtively] I still cannot believe

That you invited Jeffrey Cohen to Thanksgiving!

I haven't seen him in five years!

I don't even know why the two of you broke up,

I mean, he is a great guy.

He's the dullest man on two feet.

Yeah, well, speaking of feet,

You know, his podiatry practice is really taking off!

I'm only doing this for you, mom, okay?

No one else.

Well, same here, darling.

Come on.

Stand up straight.

Podiatry is the most underrated branch

Of the medical profession.

Feet are the foundation for the entire human body.

Everything from the ankles on up

Is utterly dependent on their well-being.

Wow, that is fascinating.

You know, I never thought of my feet that way.

Well...

Julie, have you ever thought of your feet that way?

No, I can't say that I have.

You seem very passionate

About your work, son.

Yes,

I am.

When it comes to feet, I'm very passionate.

[Jerks reflexively, smashing table]

Ooh!

[Coughing]

You okay?

So, uh...

Sorry.

Your mother tells me

You write for "the New York sentinel."

Uh, yeah.

I moved over from "the village view"

About two months ago.

I'm one of the theater critics.

The nice one.

Our Julie has always had

A very positive attitude.

Even last year,

When her fiance broke off the engagement...

Mom, can we not?

Oh, you were engaged?

[Julie's mom]: And this was on new year's Eve, mind you.

She didn't cry, she didn't get all mopey,

[Sighs proudly]

Me?

I would've been in a straitjacket.

Say, Julie, I have a great idea...

I mean, for old time's sake...

I mean, if you're doing anything on new year's,

Maybe you and I

Could go out,

Paint the town.

It's not like I have any plans.

No, neither does she!

In fact, she is available

The entire holiday week.

I mean, from chanukah on.

Isn't that right, honey?

[Dutifully] Yeah.

Excellent.

Okay.

[P.A. Announcement] Just a reminder, residents,

That activities start in the activity room...

In 15 minutes.

So, I brought you a little bit

Of everything that we had from dinner.

All your favorites.

Some way for an old lady

To spend her last Thanksgiving,

Eh, Robbie?

Last Thanksgiving, what are you talking about?

You're going to dance out of here.

Darling, I have congestive heart failure, not a cold.

You heard the doctors these last months.

If I make it past new year's day,

It'll be a miracle.

What do they know?

In truth, I'm afraid.

You know what, I didn't even ask you yet,

What you want for Christmas?

You name it, anything at all,

And I'll bring it here.

A wife.

A wife?

Your wife.

Before I go,

I want to meet the girl you're going to marry.

[Chuckling] Grandma...

The only aisle I'm going to be walking down

Anytime soon

Is the one at the supermarket.

You don't understand.

I want to know that my favorite grandson

Is going to be happy.

That you'll finally be able to settle down.

You know what, grandma.

I was going to surprise you.

Someone special?

Unbelievably special.

Oh, that's wonderful.

What's her name?

Her name?

Her name is, um...

Rose... Mary.

Rosemary.

[Reverently] Rosemary...

How lovely.

Bring her by Christmas Eve.

You know how important that day is to me.

We can enjoy the whole holiday week together,

Start to finish.

Oh...

It'll warm my heart

To know you won't be spending the holidays alone.

Promise?

I promise.

We'll spend the whole holiday together.

The woman I'm going to marry.

[Chuckles in delight]

[Cars honking, roar of traffic]

[Julie's co-worker]: "The drama works,

"Even if there may be too many big speeches.

"As a result, the play is a bit long and a tad didactic,

"But the writing is mostly stirring,

And the acting generally compelling."

How much does it hurt your butt

Straddling the fence like that?

Just trying to be fair.

Besides,

I want to support the theater world,

Not destroy it.

But, sweetheart, that's our job.

Look, all I'm trying to say is

You don't always have to be so nice.

I wasn't so nice to Jeffrey Thanksgiving night,

I'll tell you that.

[Gasps] How was the foot freak?

[Shudders]

I don't know how I dated him

As long as I did.

Well, you'd better put the brakes on your mom

Before she tries to get you the perfect geek

For, like, new year's Eve or something.

No, she didn't!

Worse.

She told him that I was available

For the entire holiday,

24/7.

I don't know how I'm going to get out of this.

I mean, it's like, "thanks, mom,

"But if I wanted to date the wrong men,

I have no trouble finding them myself."

Hey, Jules,

When are you going to invite me to come see a play with you?

We could sit real close together,

Hold hands during the scary parts.

Truth is, huck...

I have a boyfriend already.

Okay, but just so you know,

In case things between you and lover boy

Are over and out

By the time the Christmas party rolls around,

This sportswriter can't be held accountable

For his actions.

[Growls]

Okay...

Bogus boyfriend ploy.

Bold move, Greene.

Yeah, that just slipped out.

Why not just let it slip out in front of your mother,

And solve this whole Jeffrey problem?

I'm just saying.

[Rob]: So, what do I say,

I mean, "would you pretend to be my girlfriend"

So my grandmother can die happy?"

Yeah, and that you'll pop for dinner and drinks after.

Nothing says "I'll think about it"

Like a free meal.

No, no, no, the commitment has to be

For the whole holiday, man.

That's part of the promise.

I got a hundred bucks says

You won't make it to my new year's Eve bash

With temp chick.

Deal.

All right, but I still need to find "temp chick," all right?

And currently, my options are, like, nil.

Trust me, I've called everybody.

Go online, all right?

Rickyslist.

Rickyslist? What do i... What do I search under...

"Freelance fake girlfriends?"

"New York City.

"Personals.

M seeks f."

Go!

"M seeks f?"

[Julie's mom]: So, baby, I was, uh...

I was wondering if Jeffrey called you back yet.

No.

He is so adorable.

I mean, and what a mensch!

Oh, come on, honey.

Really?

Really, what? I love that dress.

If you're 12!

No, ma, keep.

Honey, it's hardly man-bait.

[Sighs]

Call it a mother's intuition,

But I think he is still head over heels about you.

So I just thought, you know, maybe I'll just,

I don't know, put in a call,

And invite him over for chanukah...

What? No!

Well, unless there's somebody else

That you want to invite.

[Message alert pings]

Why be alone if you don't have to, right?

Oh, my gosh, I forgot to tell you.

I ran into Sonia goldberg, right?

Her son, Andrew,

Just went through this horrible divorce,

And he is looking absolutely desperately

For somebody new.

Yeah, so I thought you two, you know?

I mean, didn't you have a thing with him

In high school?

I remember.

Andrew who?

Andrew goldberg!

Remember? The chubby kid with the bad skin?

I mean, he's gotten over all that now.

I think he's even a doctor.

So, anyway, now we've got a "plan a" and a "plan b."

Okay, mom, you're done.

Out of my closet!

No, I'm not.

This is my favorite thing I do.

I mean, unless you have somebody else

You want to invite.

But's what with these death colors?

You have your father's taste.

[Julie reads]: "Get hitched for the holidays."

Short-term relationship wanted, no strings attached."

[Typing]

[Alarm goes off playing radio morning show]

It's amazing to think,

But Christmas will be here in just a couple of quick weeks,

And then before you know it,

We'll be looking at new year's Eve.

So if you're single,

And you haven't already nabbed a date

For that dreaded night,

Better get cracking!

"Hi, I'm Rudy.

You want to see my big red nose?"

No.

[Julie reads]: "Humbug Harry seeks holiday angel"

"To brighten the Christmas to new year's week.

"Fun, presentable guy

"Open to all year-end adventures.

You help me, I'll help you."

[Julie writes]: "Hey, humbug Harry,

"Want to help me get through my holiday office party

Next Friday night?"

[Sent email whooshes away]

Is this crazy?

This is crazy, right?

This is so unlike me.

What's the big whoop?

So you broke down, you put an ad on rickyslist.

I've done it myself.

- You have? - Yeah.

- How did it work out? - Great.

I got 200 bucks for my fridge,

And the freezer didn't even work.

I'm trying to find a person, not an appliance.

Come on, let me see!

[Giggles nervously]

What? Oh, wow!

I like!

But meet him before the party.

Pictures lie, Jules.

Mm, sweet!

But get some face time first.

Pix lie, dude.

[Radio plays]: With just six days till Christmas,

94.7 wnyj give you six commercial-free hours a day,

Five-song holiday music blocks,

And four chances to win great prizes,

So keep it tuned to your holiday connection,

94.7 wyyj,

Where the year-end fun never ends!

Holiday angel?

Humbug Harry?

My friend was right, pictures do lie.

You're even prettier in person.

[Chuckles]

Thank you.

So are you.

I mean...

You know what I mean. Handsome.

[Laughs]

This is, uh,

This is weird, right?

Yup.

Sort of a blind un-date.

Well, since we're officially past the "blind" part,

Do you want to give the "un-date" part a try?

Okay, there's a party waiting.

Shall we?

Oh...

[***]

[Elevator dings]

We should probably discuss some rules first.

Like, how this is going to work between us.

What kind of rules?

I mean, besides the fact that we're as-needed, temporary,

Commitment-free, holiday escorts?

Well, uh,

Like the fact that this is

A strictly hands-off arrangement.

Of course.

Uh...

Oh, huck, sorry.

I didn't see you.

Is this him?

Uh, huck Bailey, this is rob...

Marino.

Hi.

Jules, Jules, Jules...

What does this dude have that I don't?

[Chuckles good-naturedly]

Um, her.

[Chuckles awkwardly]

Whatever.

He's got the eyes... With the...

If that was "hands-off," I cannot wait to see "hands on."

I'm sorry, that will not happen again.

This... i just have a situation with that guy.

Yeah, if you don't want to date the chump,

You should probably just tell him?

It'll make it easier for everybody.

[Laughing] Okay.

Um... are you ready?

Oh, yeah, I'm ready.

Yeah, let's do this.

[Chuckling]

Watching you...

If it isn't Julie's new boyfriend!

Oh!

I've heard just tons about you.

This is Molly.

Hi, Molly.

You were right,

He is adorable!

Wow.

- Uh, Molly? - Yeah?

Oh. Okay.

I'll just be over here.

Are you all right?

I hope this isn't too intense for you.

No, no, it's fine.

I've just got a question for you.

Does everyone here have to think I'm your boyfriend?

Or just that, uh, that huck guy?

Well, huck,

And everybody here at least.

Not Molly, though, she knows the truth.

And then there's my parents,

But we'll talk about that later.

[Chuckles]

Let's have a drink.

Good evening.

What can I get for you?

Diet coke, please.

Diet coke?

I don't really drink.

But you, you go ahead.

Are you sure?

Yeah, absolutely.

All right, I'll have a vodka tonic, two limes,

And, um...

And a beer. Okay?

Oh, anything you got in a bottle.

Why box yourself in, you know?

[Chuckles]

To the, uh, holidays.

The holidays.

[***]

[Yelps]

[Huck, interested] Hey...

What's up?

Good timing.

They say you can tell someone's romantic skills

By the way they dance.

Any truth to those rumors?

Hmm?

Hey, maybe you should slow down on the cocktails.

Oh, no, I'm just drinking

'Cause I'm a little uncomfortable.

Okay, come on.

What?

Out.

[***]

Shh!

Hey, hey, look,

If you had a problem with me having a few cocktails,

Why did you say it was okay?

It's okay to drink, it's not okay to get drunk!

Not here!

Who says I'm drunk?

Uh... okay, okay, I'm sorry

If I over-reacted,

But if this is going to work, you need to calm down.

You know, if you're going to be all hard-nosed about this thing,

I don't-i don't think I'm the right guy for you...

"Hard-nosed?"

I'm-I'm the nicest person in the world!

Like, ask anyone!

You know what,

I want this to work as much as you do,

I really do, but, um...

I don't think it's going to happen.

This is not going to work between you and me.

All right?

I'm sorry.

I'm just... I'm sorry.

Okay? All right.

Sorry!

Trouble in paradise?

Okay, okay.

That's enough.

That's enough?

It is enough? I don't think so.

Drop dead.

I'm just having fun.

I'm just startin'!

[Rob's friend, on phone]: Was she hot?

Yeah, she was really attractive.

All right, then,

Well, it's "mea culpa" time, bro.

Hmm?

You were stupid, you're sorry,

You want a do-over.

I don't know if "stupid" is exactly the right word.

Oh, yeah? Well, it will be if you let her get away.

All right, I'll think about it.

Hello?

[Typing]

[Rob writes]: "Dear Julie",

"Humbug Harry is really sorry

If he turned into the blind 'un-date' from hell."

"Despite his cool, sophisticated veneer,

"(lol)

He was kind of nervous around his holiday angel."

"So with only six more shopping days till Christmas,

"Harry respectfully requests a second chance

"To show what a decent and appropriate guy

"He truly can be.

Forgive me?"

Next. What can I get for you?

Hi. A medium non-fat latte.

And I will have a mint tea.

Oh, and a decaf mocha frappuccino,

With a shot of espresso.

Okay. Coming right up.

In case I need a jolt after.

Oh.

Decisive.

I like that in a man.

You know, choice is one of life's great luxuries.

Besides, if we're a couple,

You're going to have to know the real me.

Okay, are we a couple or are we not a couple?

I mean, officially.

How about we are when we need to be?

Fine,

But that's as far as it goes.

Yeah, okay.

Unless, you know, you grab me

And kiss me like I'm going off to war.

I told you, that won't happen again.

Mm-hmm.

Oh!

Thank you.

Okay, rule number two,

We agree to accompany each other

To every holiday event,

No exceptions,

And if we're double-booked, we hit both.

Rule number two "a," okay?

Rob does better the less he has to know,

So a lot of notice isn't necessary.

In fact, um...

It's heartily discouraged.

Well, okay.

But don't you think you should at least schedule in

The eight nights of chanukah with my parents?

Eight?

Yeah.

Like, in a row?

Is that a deal-breaker?

Almost.

You know what, though?

Um, don't worry about it, okay?

Eight nights, 12 nights, whatever.

I'm there.

Good.

Okay.

Um, and if we get through this,

Come January 2nd,

We'll just tell our families that it didn't work out.

"The magic is gone."

And we'll both be on our way.

[Radio plays]: Ho, ho, ho!

It's two days till Christmas

And the holiday hits just keep on coming

Here on 94.7 wnyj...

Three times the listener dedications,

Two hourly new reports...

Thank you!

And one holly-jolly holiday season for everyone.

[P.A. Announcement plays faintly]

Hey, grandma.

Merry Christmas.

This is for you.

Is it Christmas Eve already?

No, not yet.

Oh, and this must be Rosemary.

No. No...

This is, um... This is Julie, grandma.

I thought her name was Rosemary?

It is.

It is, i... I just call her Julie.

Julie's my nickname for her because she's... she's...

Like my little jewel.

Oh, isn't that sweet.

So, anyway, um, Julie, this is my grandmother,

This is Theresa scotti.

It is a pleasure to meet you.

Merry Christmas.

Sit, sweetheart,

Let me look at you.

You have kind eyes.

You're going to make my grandson very happy.

Well, he makes me

Very happy, too, so...

Of course!

Isn't that what love is all about?

Yes, Mrs. scotti,

That is exactly what love is all about.

Okay, let's start at the beginning.

Who's Rosemary?

Okay, Rosemary is the woman

That my grandmother thinks I'm going to marry.

A.K.A. You.

The bride is always the last to know.

[Chuckles]

Hey, you were great in there, by the way.

I mean it, yup. Totally believable.

[Laughs in delight]

You know, um, meeting you...

Is my grandmother's dying wish.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

How long does she have?

Let's just say

That every day after new year's will be a gift.

Is that why you answered my ad?

Pretty much, yeah.

So, why are you really doing this?

Is it just because of that huck guy?

No.

It's actually my mother.

Um, she was going to set me up

With every breathing man in Manhattan

If I didn't find somebody

To date for the holidays, so...

I had to put an end to the madness, right?

Speaking of madness,

Are you ready to meet your future in-laws?

I love all your ornaments. They're really beautiful.

Come on, Julie,

Why don't you help us trim the tree here?

Oh, that's okay, I'll just watch.

Why? Are you allergic?

No. I'm Jewish.

Oh.

So I've never actually trimmed a Christmas tree before.

Oh, well, there's nothing to it,

You just take an ornament,

Hang the hook on a free branch,

Make sure it's secure, and, boom, you're done.

Boom.

Okay...

Here goes.

Uh...

[They cheer and applaud]

[Gasps in horror]

Oh...

I am so sorry.

No, no, don't- don't worry about it.

It... it was old.

Very, very old.

Yeah, it was my great, great-grandmother's.

Yeah, you know what,

It's been in the family for a hundred years,

So don't...

116.

I...

Don't know what to say.

Oh, don't say anything.

It's not a problem.

It's just a... thing.

Julie, my dear,

Why don't you come into the kitchen with me?

We'll leave the tree-trimming to the professionals.

You made a big impression on my mother.

She called right after you and Robbie left,

Couldn't stop talking about you,

So excited!

She sounded like a different person.

She seems incredibly sweet.

I'd do anything to keep her around

For as long as possible, but...

[Choking back tears]

You don't know.

You know, doctors, they make mistakes.

She could have a lot of time left.

Oh... no.

Unfortunately,

I do know.

I had a vision,

And it wasn't good.

A vision?

It's a blessing and a curse.

People think I'm crazy, but I see things.

And so far, I like you.

Even if you did break

An irreplaceable family heirloom.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

Chop.

Okay.

So, how did you get started in this stuff?

Well, after college,

I tried acting,

And decided that wasn't for me.

So I started writing about it instead.

Became a theater reviewer.

At least you have a steady job.

Unlike some people.

Bouncing from one ad agency

To another.

Mom, for the thousandth time,

Just because I freelance

Doesn't mean I don't work steady.

Yeah, but what about

A little something called security?

You know, dad,

I prefer a little thing called "freedom."

Honey, pass me

The baby's bib.

[Doorbell rings]

[Evie]: Who in the world could that be?

Hello, sweetheart!

Guess who!

Oh, dear!

Evie?

Evie-pie...

Evie...

There she is.

What just happened?

You took one look at grandma and you passed out.

Doesn't grandma look amazing?

Oh...

No, no, no, no.

How did you get here?

How did you get dressed?

I don't know,

All of a sudden, my pressure went down,

Breathing got normal.

Even that dumb heart monitor started sounding better.

So I decided, what the heck?

I'll dress myself up,

Sign myself out,

Get in a cab and spend the holidays with my family,

Like I always do.

[Chuckling in delight]

What do you think?

I think it's a miracle.

It is a miracle.

Oh, mom...

And I can see the whole thing

Right in front of me.

What are you talking about, mom?

It's your girlfriend.

It's Julie!

You said she could have lots of time left.

You knew, didn't you?

Yeah. Julie met mom this morning,

And here she is tonight, a whole new woman.

What else could it be?

[Theresa]: I'll tell you what it's not,

That gingko stinko stuff you make me take!

All I get from that is gas.

Ma...

Okay, okay, okay.

Whatever it is,

It's certainly cause for a celebration.

Stevie, break out the chianti!

The good stuff, not the stuff in the box.

Coming right up.

Come on. Come on.

We got all your favorite stuff.

Robbie. Robbie...

Yeah, mom.

Listen to me, listen to me.

Your Julie, she's got powers.

Mom, that's ridiculous.

No, she brought grandma back to life,

But if you break up with her,

It'll kill grandma.

You understand what I'm saying?

Robbie!

Why don't you come over here,

Under the mistletoe,

And give Julie a great big holiday kiss?

Oh, you...

That's a great idea, ma.

I'll get my camera.

Mom. Mom, no i...

Just do what your grandmother tells you.

Come on.

It'll do my heart so good...

All right,

I've just got to get this thing in focus.

Come on, you two, a nice big kiss.

There we go.

Okay...

Aw...

[Cheering and laughter]

Let's eat, let's eat.

Okay!

Well, thank you again for tonight,

And that mistletoe thing,

I promise that will not happen again.

[Laughs]

Well, it made your grandmother very happy, so...

Yeah, it made me happy, too.

You're a good kisser.

[Laughing]

Um...

You know that I had nothing to do with

Your grandmother's recovery, right?

It's not me that you have to worry about.

It's my mother you'll have to try and convince.

I couldn't break up with you now even if I wanted to!

Okay, wait till you meet my family tomorrow night,

And then you make that decision, okay?

Okay.

Uh-oh.

[Laughing]

All right.

Okay, good night.

Good night. Good night.

Thank you.

Yes. Thank you.

Oh, gosh...

[Radio plays] From all of us at your home for the holidays,

New York's 94.7 wnyj,

Where the holiday music never stops.

Here's wishing you and yours

A warm and wonderful Christmas Eve

And a very happy and healthy first night of chanukah!

Thanks.

Is this it?

Oh, by the way,

I told my parents you were Jewish,

So just go with it, okay?

What? Are you kidding me?

It's just that my mother always fixes me up

With Jewish men,

So it's just easier this way.

It's no big deal.

Easier for who?

Julie, why didn't you warn me?

I thought "rob did better

The less he had to plan for?"

He does.

Unless he has to, you know,

Pretend to be an entirely different religion!

Actually,

I was just afraid you would say no.

I'm sorry.

Please?

Okay.

But, Julie, I don't know anything about being Jewish.

It's fine.

My parents aren't even that religious.

[Buzzing doorbell]

Just...

It's only going to be the four of us,

So just relax and follow my lead.

[Door lock buzzes open]

Oh, you must be rob!

Maxine.

This is rob.

Hello, sir.

Hi, rob. Nice to meet you.

Julie's told us a lot about you.

Well, don't believe anything you've heard.

[Laughing]

Oh, it's so sweet of you

To spend the first night of chanukah with us

Instead of your own family.

I mean, I hope they're not too disappointed.

No, it's fine.

We're actually meeting them all later for mass...

Mass?

This mass chanukah celebration.

Yeah...

It's a big neighborhood tradition.

Like all of queens shows up.

Oh, that sounds like so much fun.

Maybe we can join you.

You can't.

Because the tickets are all sold out.

You know, they went just... [Snaps fingers] Like that.

Okay, well, maybe next time.

Anyway, I've got a big surprise for you.

Come with me.

I'll take that for you, honey.

[Whispering] I told you not to invite Jeffrey.

Just come on.

Oh, Sam!

Julie-pie!

[Laughing in delight]

They came all the way from Boston

For chanukah!

Sam, Laura,

This is rob.

Rob, this is my brother, Sam,

And his wife, Laura.

Sam is a rabbi.

I didn't catch your last name.

It's Marino... witz.

Rob Marino... W-witz.

Nice to meet you, rob marinowitz.

[Laughing in delight]

Come on, let's light the menorah!

You're just in time.

Hey, mom,

Why don't you let our guest light the candle, huh?

Oh, that's such a sweet idea, Sam.

Sure. Here...

No, I don't need to...

No, no, no, you do the honors.

Okay, all right. All right, all right.

I'll do it. I'll do it.

[Chuckling nervously]

Okay, here we go.

Uh... okay.

Okay.

Stop stealing the spotlight.

Let's do it together.

Okay.

There we go.

Oh.

[Chuckling good-naturedly]

No! No, no, rob. What about the prayer?

The prayer?

Oh, that's my favorite part.

Oh, please let me do it.

Of course, sweetie.

Of course.

[All singing]

* barukh atah adonai elohaynu melekh ha'olam *

* Asher keedishanu b'meetzvotav *

* v'tzeevanu I'had'lik neir shel *

* chanukah...

Yeah.

[Chuckling merrily]

Amen.

Let's eat.

[Julie]: Well, it was touch and go,

But I think we pulled it off.

Personally, all this lying is, uh...

It's very exhausting.

It's not lying.

It's just little white lies.

All right, call it what you want to call it.

I'm sorry I put you on the spot,

But I think we made a good team.

Yes.

I have to thank you

For all the help you gave me lighting the menorah.

[Laughs]

I definitely could not have done that without you.

Well, the blowing out the candles,

I just have to say that was a first.

I didn't know!

I didn't know...

You're just lucky

That everybody was way too polite to react.

Or too stunned.

I didn't know.

But my mother thought you were cute and charming,

And that's a quote.

Whew, passed the mom test!

[They high-five]

[Laughing]

[Congregation sings "o come all ye faithful"]

Thanks, buddy. Merry Christmas.

* ...O come ye to Bethlehem... *

Oh, it's already started.

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, she's there.

Come, come.

- Okay. - Hi.

* ...O, come let us adore him *

* o, come let us adore him

* o, come let us adore him... *

Have you ever been to midnight mass before?

This is my first time.

Don't worry about it.

My parents aren't very religious.

* ...Sing choirs of angels

* sing in exhalation...

You did your homework.

Christmassings.Net. It was easy.

[Julie joins in singing]

[Both singing]

* o, come let us adore him

* o, come let us adore him... *

See you two at the wedding!

Oh, merry Christmas!

Mom, do you think we can get a cab around here?

Where are you going?

It's 2:00 A.M. And two degrees!

Why don't you stay overnight?

You can leave tomorrow.

We're opening gifts in the morning.

Oh, I don't think so.

Come on...

Good, that's settled!

Well, no, dad...

[Chuckling knowingly]

Merry Christmas!

And here's a nightie for you to wear,

Or whatever.

Oh, Mrs. Marino...

Mom, are you sure you're okay with this?

'Cause you know what,

I can totally sleep on the couch.

No, forget it.

Mrs. Marino, look...

Look, honey, I don't judge.

Sleep well.

'Night, mom!

Good night.

So...

I can totally sleep on the couch.

I think our web is tangled enough, don't you?

I'll just camp out on the floor.

Absolutely not.

I will not have any fake girlfriend of mine

Sleeping on a cold, hard floor, okay?

You take the bed.

You really light up around your grandmother,

You know that?

Yeah, well, you know,

Growing up, she was like a second mother to me.

That happens a lot with grandparents, doesn't it?

My mom was, um...

Is a little strange.

[They chuckle]

No, she's better now.

I mean, except for, you know, her crazy visions.

When I was a kid,

My mom would...

Disappear now and then.

She'd take a few hours here,

Or just an afternoon there,

Sometimes overnight, and...

She would just disappear.

It was a little weird and, um, scary.

So my grandmother would come over, make it better,

And she would stay with us until my mom came back.

Where would she go?

I have no idea.

We never...

We never really talked about it, to this day.

I guess that's why

I like to have, you know, everything just out in the open,

Even if it hurts a little bit.

[Sighs heavily]

Gosh, being a wife and a mother,

It's a tough job, you know?

Not every woman's prepared for it.

Was your mother?

Oh, my God, please,

My mother was born with a wedding dress on.

The last time my mom left, I was 14.

It was Christmas day.

That's great timing, huh?

And we had our whole family over,

All my, you know, aunts and uncles, and cousins,

And my grandmother.

And my mom, she put all the food on the table,

And then she just slipped out the back door.

And everybody... Everybody knew she left,

But they continued with all the holiday cheer anyway

But I was convinced that...

That, that time, she wasn't...

She wasn't going to coming back.

But she did.

Yeah.

Yeah, she... she did.

For some reason, though, that time just sticks with me.

Time to get over it, huh?

Okay, you want a holiday disaster?

Yeah, go for it.

[Sighs nervously]

Last new year's Eve, my fiance and I broke up.

Ooh, that's pretty awful.

He was handsome,

A law partner, steady as a rock,

And everyone thought

We were going to live happily ever after,

You know, and...

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

How so?

Julie, the guy was a moron to let you go.

Women like you just don't come along every day.

[Pats bed]

Hey.

Yeah?

So far,

It's been a really good holiday.

It has, hasn't it?

Good night.

Good night.

Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas!

Stevie!

Oh! Thank you!

[All laughing and chatting]

Merry Christmas, Julie.

Oh, my gosh. For me?

Honey, it's Christmas morning!

You don't think we'd leave out our special guest, do you?

Evie, you didn't have to do this.

This is so sweet!

Thank you.

I couldn't resist.

Apparently, neither could you.

That's so sweet.

[Laughing]

[Theresa]: Let me see, let me see.

Let me see.

Oh, how precious.

I don't know what you kids are waiting for.

What do you mean, grandma?

To get married!

Come on!

I'm not getting any younger!

And, frankly, neither are you two.

It's about time we get back to the city.

What do you think?

- Yup. - Okay.

I can't believe

That your grandmother is joining a bowling league.

I know! It's crazy, right?

You're a really good grandson.

Robbie!

[Laughs]

Thanks.

Oh, um, listen, new year's Eve,

Could we hit your friend Patrick's thing first,

And then go to my theater party?

Just so we can be near Times Square then

For when the ball drops?

Sounds like a plan.

So you'll be there?

I'll be with you at midnight, no matter what.

You have my word.

Okay. Thanks.

Oh, hey, Julie!

You, um, forgot our picture.

[Both chuckling]

Thanks.

Uh...

Do you want to go see a play with me tomorrow night?

Was that on our original holiday event schedule,

Or is that extra credit?

[Laughs]

It's an extra ticket, that's it.

Okay. Yeah.

Right.

Bye.

Okay, here's my review, "worst play ever."

Not fair.

You can't criticize something you slept through.

What? You liked it?

I thought the cast did a good job

With material that was, maybe, a bit...

Far-fetched.

That's what you're going to write?

This is that white lie syndrome, isn't it?

Only it's professional.

What are you so afraid of?

People are going to send you hate mail

If you state an actual opinion?

Okay, I know it's my job,

But i...

I just feel like I'll be really irresponsible

If I don't at least try and consider the feelings

Of the people I'm writing about.

What about my feelings?

Your feelings?

Yeah.

You know, like, for example,

If I asked you to kiss me,

Would you do it

Only so that I wouldn't feel bad?

No.

I'd only do that if I wanted to.

All right, now, be honest with me,

What did you really think of that play?

[Molly reads]: "Despite its hard-working cast",

"'socks and the city' is a tedious,"

Badly-written lump of coal

In the reviewer's Christmas stocking.

It rates one out of four stars.

Whoo!

[Cheering and applause]

Before you know it,

I'm going to be playing good cop!

Just calling it like I see it.

Whoo!

[Cheering and laughing]

Got a minute?

Yeah.

Your campaign

Looks terrific.

Great job, rob.

Best thing you've done.

Thank you, nolan.

Listen, rob,

I know how you like to move around a lot,

Switch it up, whatever,

But how about ending all this freelance nonsense

And work here for us on staff?

Be my new senior art director.

You think about it.

Let me know.

Okay.

Thank you, nolan.

[Julie]: That's huge!

Is it?

No one gets offered a big job like that

Christmas week.

Like, they must really want you.

Yeah, but, you know, do I really want them?

Rob, it's an ad agency, it's not sing sing.

If you don't like it, you can leave.

Or maybe for once, you might not want to.

Oh, we have to practice the chanukah prayer.

I've got it all written out for you...

Wow, you know, i...

Written out phonetically.

It's your own little crib sheet.

I appreciate that, but you know what?

I got this.

Yeah, look at that. I know.

I stopped by temple Israel on 12th.

Picked up this book, memorized it.

I'm all ready to go.

[Laughs in disbelief]

My God...

Oh, a cab. A cab. We should go.

[Family singing]

* ...Elohaynu melekh ha'alom

* Asher keedishanu b'meetzvotav *

* v'tzeevanu 1'had'lik neir shel chanukah... *

Okay, let's go. Let's go eat.

I have a present for you.

A present for me?

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

[Evie]: Is this Maxine green?

Yes, it is.

Hi, um, my name is evie.

I'm rob's mother.

Oh! We love rob!

Oh, thank you.

We were wondering if you and your husband

Would like to come over for dinner one night.

I cannot believe my mother

Accepted an invitation from your mother

Without even asking me.

I can't believe my mother actually called your mother.

What am I saying, of course I can!

Anyways, we have bigger problems.

My parents think you're Jewish.

One look at your parents' Christmas decorations,

And we're toast.

Well, those decorations are definitely not coming down,

That's for sure.

My parents are diehards about that stuff.

They would cancel the dinner first.

You want us to take down the Christmas decorations?

Whatever for?

They, um... offend me.

They're decorations!

You've seen them your whole life!

What's wrong with you?

Son, are you on drugs?

No, I'm not on drugs.

[Together]: Then what is it?

I'm...

Converting to judaism.

What did you just say?

Yeah,

You heard me,

I'm converting.

For Julie.

So, if you guys want to have this dinner

With Julie and the Greenes,

Then, uh, these decorations all have to go.

Well...

That's wonderful news!

[Chuckling happily]

It is?

It means you and Julie must be getting really serious.

Evie-pie, we're going to a wedding!

[Laughing with glee]

Oh, Robbie,

We are going to have

The best ha-noo-ka celebration ever.

[Clink]

To your conversion.

L'Chaim!

If that's Hebrew for "you're an idiot,"

I totally deserve that.

No, it was quick thinking.

It was crazy, but it was quick.

Ooh, you are now a charter member

Of the white lie club.

Don't worry,

In a couple of days, we'll break up,

And you won't have to convert,

And one more lamb will stay with the flock.

Now we just have to explain to my parents

Why you're Jewish but your parents aren't.

Let's jump off that bridge when we get to it, okay?

Yeah.

How about another round for the girl who doesn't drink?

Yeah, that was a work party.

Was that a work thing?

I'll be right back.

[Giggling]

So... wait a minute,

Are we-are we really going to break up

In a couple of days?

Well, aren't we?

I mean, that's the deal, so...?

I know, I know. I know it, but, um...

Okay, here it is, here it is.

A couple of days ago, we were in the cab,

And we were talking about new year's Eve?

I realized that...

That I didn't want to be alone,

That I wanted to be with someone,

Aren't you afraid you're going to box yourself in?

No.

Just that I'm going to box myself out.

Of what?

Another one of these.

Taxi!

Get in there, get in there.

[Giggling]

Where to?

Drive!

[Radio plays]: With just two more crazy nights to go

Till new year's Eve,

The holiday fun continues here on 94.7 wnyj.

Now we're going to switch things up

With a special set of chanukah favorites...

Shalom! Come in. Welcome.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, your home is so festive.

Oh, thank you, and shalom.

Shalom. Here.

Oh, thank you.

Please, make yourselves at home.

I'll get the family.

Oh, wow.

Everyone, they're here!

Did you tell your mother to do this?

No, I didn't say a word.

I have no idea what's going on here.

[Whispering] This is going to end in disaster.

Shalom!

This is my mother, Theresa,

My husband, butch,

My daughter, Maria, and her husband, Stevie.

Shalom.

Shalom.

I'm Maxine and this is Mel.

So, uh, what do you think of our chanukah tree?

Oh, well, it's...

I've never seen anything quite like it.

Ain't she a beaut?

Hey, uh, guess how many tops are on there?

Just take a guess.

A hundred?

[Together]: 219!

We scored

Every last one in queens, so...

I don't think I've ever seen

So many menorahs

In one place.

Um, evie,

You light all the candles all at once?

It's one menorah per night,

Per chanukah night, right?

So, this is the fifth night of chanukah.

Five men-o-rahs!

Her parents did that, so-so-so my...

My parents do it.

You know,

It's all about the tradition, right?

But these are unusual menorahs.

[Muttering]: They're missing two candles on each menorah.

[Whispering] Where did you get these menorahs?

[Whispering] Yeah, they were all out,

So I got, uh, kwanzaa lamps.

But on the bright side,

They're exactly like the picture you showed me.

- [Mutters] Kwanzaa lamps! - Dad!

Mom!

Can I talk to you just for a minute?

Oh, sure.

Please take your coats off, make yourselves at home.

Ma!

What is this, "chanukah for dummies?"

Don't you love it?

Tonight, everyone is Jewish!

But everyone's not Jewish, mom.

Especially all the catholics!

We're just trying to be respectful

To Julie's parents,

You know, make them feel at home.

Help seal the deal.

Like they say,

You don't get a second chance to make a good first impression.

Well, I hope that's true, because we'd never top this one.

Oh, don't be

Such a stick-in-the-mud.

Remember, converting was your idea.

I'm just trying to support

My one and only son.

[Sniffing]

[Gasps] My matzoh balls are burning!

Everything okay?

I don't know.

Oh, my God!

Forgive me.

Good save.

How's everything going in here?

Well, um,

Nobody's said anything exactly,

But I think my parents really do think

Your family is Jewish.

Is that even possible?

[Chatting happily]

According to my mother,

She's just trying to make your parents feel comfortable.

I guess it's like a...

Like a religious "don't ask, don't tell."

I can live with that.

For one night, anyway...

[All chatting happily]

So far so good.

Come on.

[All singing traditional Jewish songs]

[All singing]

[Clapping and singing]

Come on, rob!

[All laughing and cheering]

[***]

[Gasping in shock]

Ma! Mom! Oh!

I'm going to call for help!

[Rob]: Go call an ambulance, dad!

Mom, can you hear me? Mom?

[Siren wailing]

I'm so sorry, evie.

This is all our fault.

I told you tonight was going to end in disaster.

No, it's not our fault, it's my fault.

I shouldn't have been dancing with her.

I don't know what I was thinking.

No, Robbie, we messed up.

We let the party get out of hand,

Forgot that, just a few days ago,

Grandma was a very sick lady.

You're right, butch, it is our fault.

Oh... no, no, no, evie,

It's nobody's fault.

You had a wonderful celebration.

You and butch are amazing hosts.

You've raised a fine son,

Who seems as dedicated to his family

As they are to him.

When rob told us

He was converting,

We just wanted to be there for him,

For all of you, right from the start,

No matter what it took.

Ma, uh...

I'm not converting.

I, uh,

I just told you that so you would get mad...

So that you would cancel the dinner

With Julie's parents, so that...

They wouldn't find out that none of us were Jewish.

We're as catholic as the pope's hat,

Not that it matters.

Or does it?

Okay, everybody,

Truth is, we...

This whole thing with Julie and i...

We made it up.

Made? Made what up?

I promised grandma

That she could meet my wife before Christmas Eve.

She wanted to meet the woman that I was going to marry

Before she died.

I thought it was the last chance I was going to get

To honor her,

And there was no way I was going to disappoint her,

Just no way.

Rob-o, that is so beautiful.

And you?

Why did you do this?

The truth is,

I needed someone to date for the holidays

So you would stop fixing me up with my loser ex-boyfriends.

I just wanted to enjoy the holidays

On my own terms.

Do you want to know

Why we were so eager to have you date?

So that you wouldn't be alone for new year's Eve.

We just knew how hard it would be for you

After what happened last year with Ben.

Is that so awful?

No.

What's awful

Is that I have lied to you and dad

About so many other things.

And not just

Little white lies, either.

What things are talking about, Julie?

Like what really happened last new year's Eve with Ben.

Ben didn't dump me.

I broke up with him.

I didn't want to marry him,

So I left him,

And I didn't tell you

Because I thought I'd never hear the end of it.

Wow.

Okay, I'm- I'm a little lost here.

Are you two getting married or not?

No.

No, we're not even dating.

We're just...

Using each other.

Yeah, we're just using each other.

Julie.

Is that how you really feel

After all this?

That we're just using each other?

Let me ask you something, was that true?

What you said you did to Ben?

Yes, but I just...

But what?

Julie, this whole time,

I was feeling sorry for you

Because you got dumped on new year's Eve.

All I said

Was that Ben and I broke up on new year's Eve,

Which we did.

Oh, I see, so it's just a little white lie of omission?

Rob, you don't understand.

No, I understand plenty.

I mean, what if you and I were to go out for real?

How would I know

You wouldn't just get up and leave me one day?

You know, with no notice at all.

Is that what you're upset about?

You know, that may not mean a lot to you,

But it means a lot to me.

So, what, you just,

You break up with me first,

Before we even get to see what we have?

Talk about being dishonest.

Who am I being dishonest with?

Yourself.

Well, I'm not going to be dishonest with myself

Or with you.

I cannot be in a relationship that starts out in a lie.

I'm sorry, Julie.

[Evie]: So, how is she?

[Doctor]: She's going to be fine.

She just overdid it a little on the dance floor.

Now, we're going to keep Theresa here

For a couple of days to watch her vital signs,

But now you can all go home

And get some sleep.

[Evie]: Oh, she's okay. She's okay...

Okay?

Thank you. Thank you.

[Knocks]

- 'Morning, hot shot. - Hey.

So, have you thought about my offer?

Or do I have to pry an answer out of you?

No, no, I've definitely thought about it.

Are you in?

You know, um, nolan, I appreciate the offer,

I really, I really do,

But i...

A permanent job is just not for me.

I need to have my wings, man.

You know?

Well, I respect your decision.

[Molly reads]: "'Elevator man' lifts the spirits"

"As it reaches new heights in charm and wit.

Four stars."

Welcome back, little miss sunshine.

I'd really rather not discuss it.

That can only mean one thing...

Man trouble.

I wrote a positive review,

Why would you assume I'm having man trouble?

Forget the review,

It's written all over your pouty little face.

"G-u-y-s

S-u-c-k."

By the way, I totally agree.

Okay, Molly?

I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Laughs knowingly]

Okay, right.

[P.A.]: Dr. kerr, 4120, Dr. kerr, 4120.

Hey!

Here you go.

Oh!

Look at all these.

I couldn't decide which one, so i...

Anyway, um, how are you feeling?

Ready to get back on the dance floor.

Robbie,

You didn't have to make up a girlfriend

Just for me.

You told her?

Yeah, we told her.

No more baloney, Robbie.

From now on, we want all the cards on the table.

Why couldn't you stick with a nice girl

Like Julie?

Give her a real chance.

Since we're all being honest here,

I've got a question for you, mom.

Where did you go when we were kids?

When you would just disappear?

What was that all about?

Robbie, that's ancient history.

We're talking about you now.

Don't you see, mom?

That is about me.

Actually, ma...

I want to know, too.

[Sighs awkwardly]

You know I love both of you more than anything,

And I love being a mother,

I always have.

But, well, there were times

When I would get so overwhelmed with it all,

That I was afraid

If I didn't leave for a few hours,

I might end up leaving for good.

Where did you go, mom?

Nowhere exotic.

The movies, the mall.

Sometimes, I'd hide out in a motel.

Just, you know, until I felt better.

Look, I-i know it was wrong for me to run out like that,

But it was the best I could do.

Well, I gotta tell you, when you would leave, i...

I thought it was my fault,

Like, something I said to you made you go.

Oh, Robbie...

No.

Come here.

Aw, come here.

Aw, you and Maria

Are the best kids a mother could have had.

It was just...

I mean, don't you both just need a little space

Sometimes?

I know you do.

Anyway...

The last time I left...

Christmas.

[Sighs]

Christmas, yeah, I know.

I never saw so many loud and annoying people under one roof,

I thought my head would split open.

But I'll tell you one thing,

I couldn't have gotten through any of it

Without your father.

He was such a prince, you have no idea.

I think we do now, ma.

I mean, I won't lie to you, it was tough at times,

But when you love someone, you hang in there.

You find a way.

Otherwise, if you run, you've got nothing.

Hey, Jules, I hear you're flying solo again.

Said who?

Good golly miss Molly.

Well, she's wrong.

Okay.

So, check it.

I just scored an invite

To that Times Square fiesta happening tomorrow night.

Mm-hmm.

Save me a midnight kiss, okay?

You have one new message.

Yo, rob, it's Patrick.

Listen, too bad and all about "temp chick,"

But don't even think about blowing off my shindig

At the bar tomorrow tonight.

And don't forget to bring that c-note you owe me, either!

Later, bro.

[Answering machine beeps]

So, the Anderson and Anderson account, then...

[Knocks briskly] Hey.

Rob, I'm in a meeting.

This will only take a second.

I'm in.

I want the job.

Rob, do you know Pete halloren?

Senior art director at steadman and Kane?

Good to meet you, rob.

Can't wait to be part of the team.

Sorry, rob, you had your chance.

Sorry about the interruption.

That's all right.

[Music blasting]

[Radio plays] Good evening, New York,

It's now t-minus four hours to the new year,

So keep it on your holiday connection, 94.7 wnyj,

Where it's never too soon to get the party started.

[Crowd cheering]

So then on January 2nd,

I'm going to go to buffalo for the i.C.P.C.

The i.C... International convention

Of podiatrists and chiropodists.

It sounds exciting.

Jeffrey!

Sorry.

Force of habit.

[Tv plays]: There's no better place on earth

To be on new year's Eve than right here

In Times Square with the person you love.

Right, honey?

All right, bill,

You can hear the excitement all around us here,

As people anticipate the coming year...

[Cell phone buzzes with message alert]

[Dials for message]

Hello, rob? Bradshaw here.

I've been thinking about what happened,

And, look, you're my number one guy.

I asked you first.

The job is yours.

And hey, don't worry,

No one's going to clip your wings.

Now go out and celebrate.

[Hangs up]

[***]

Did you know that one corn

Can throw your entire system out of whack?

I'm talking back pain,

Hip trauma,

Bursitis!

[Gasps in pain]

Oh!

My head.

I think I have a migraine.

[Wincing]

I really should go.

You know, maybe it's the alcohol.

The chemical compound in alcohol can really cause a...

Oh, my gosh, Jeffrey!

I don't have a migraine.

I...

Just don't want to be here with you.

It was totally unfair of me

To invite you,

I don't know what I was thinking.

Same thing I was thinking when I accepted.

Who wants to be alone on new year's Eve?

Do you mind if I go?

Do you mind if I stay?

Knock yourself out.

Hey, I'm a podiatrist...

Where to, lady?

Oceanic Plaza, please.

Ah, hey, there's my homie!

Whoo!

I knew you would not let down your best buddy, hmm?

Mm! Mm-mm...

Mm!

Oh, that's good.

Thanks, man.

Don't you worry about it.

There is plenty more where that came from,

And plenty more where they came from.

If you cannot meet somebody tonight,

You, my friend, are officially dead, hmm?

Yeah, you know, I'm just going to go grab another beer,

I'm just going to kind of keep it low-key tonight...

Whoa! Hey, man, it is new year's Eve!

Now, do you want to have fun or not?

Huh?

I'm having plenty of fun.

No!

No, you are not, all right?

I know you.

You've got your mind on temp chick.

You know what, this is great, but...

I've got to go home, man.

No, hey, no!

No, no, you can't leave!

Come on, man.

Happy new year, pal.

Be safe.

Hey!

[Cell phone ringing]

Hey, mom. What's up?

Grandma what?

I'll meet you there.

[Roar of excited crowd]

What'll it be?

Can I have a chardonnay, please?

Actually, no, I'll have a vodka tonic, two limes.

I thought you would never get here.

Where's Jeffrey?

Two feet under.

It's a long story.

Oh.

What are you drinking?

Love potion #9.

But so far, nothing.

You?

Vodka tonic.

Ooh. Drink, up, sweetheart.

It's going to be a bumpy night.

Mom!

Wait, grandma. Is she...

Are you okay?

They called us

And said she couldn't breathe,

So we thought for sure this was it.

[Butch]: But when we got here,

She was back to normal.

Doctor says she's going to be fine.

It was just a little of low blood sugar, that's all.

It's not my time.

It was supposed to be, but it's not.

I still got few things I want to see.

Like Robbie marrying that sweet Julie.

Grandma,

You remember I told you

That was a fake relationship?

Listen to your old grandma, Robbie.

Maybe the relationship was fake,

But what I saw between you two, that was real.

You know what, I actually do have, um,

I do have a little bit of news for everybody tonight.

You are looking at

The new senior art director

For the bradshaw advertising group.

Regular, permanent.

Full-time.

Way to go, Robbie!

[Laughing with delight] Robbie...

Congrats.

Congratulations, son.

Thanks, dad.

Maybe miracles really can happen.

Yeah. You see, Robbie,

If you just get out of your own way,

You can have anything you want.

[Theresa]: Or anyone.

It's my dying wish, Robbie.

I love you.

I love you guys. I-i...

I've got to go.

I'll call you at midnight.

Robbie, wait!

Oh, this is strange.

I see a horse.

It's galloping down the street.

And you're on it.

Mom, I love you.

I love you so much.

But you're not psychic, okay?

Never have been, never will be.

All right?

I'm going to call you guys later.

Happy new year.

I love you. Call you at midnight.

Happy new year.

A horse?

Yes!

[Radio plays]: A quick look at what's happening

Out there on the streets.

Traffic is crazy

For a seven-block radius around Times Square tonight

With traditional new year's Eve gridlock

Looking worse than ever.

So if you're late for your midnight date,

We have one word for you,

Run!

[Slurping drink]

Tell me, gorgeous,

Do you believe in fate?

What's your point, huck?

Well, don't fight it, babe.

Something

Clearly cosmic brought us here together,

Right here, right now,

For one express purpose.

In that case, I don't believe in fate, no.

Hmm.

What about our midnight lip-lock?

Huck, are you

That self-absorbed,

Or just so dense that you don't know

That I have absolutely, positively

No interest in you whatsoever?

What are you saying?

So it's not happening?

I'm leaving.

Happy new year.

What?

Where are you going? It's not even midnight!

Julie, can't you just wait 10 more minutes?

Love the one you're with?

[Roar of traffic and party-goers]

Julie!

Mom, for once in your life, you'd better be right.

[Horse whinnying]

Hey!

Hey, come back here!

Hey! Get back here now!

[Horse whinnies, rob yelps]

Whoa, would you look at that!

Whoa! Sorry.

Rob?

Get off that horse!

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my gosh.

Rob?

Are you all right?

[Groans] Yeah. Yeah.

What are you doing?

On a horse?

I, uh, I couldn't get a cab.

You mind telling me

Where the hell you were going with my horse?

Yes. Of course I can, officer.

You see, sir,

Your-your horse was the only means of transportation

That was available to me

By which I was able to catch up to

This beautiful woman right here

And tell her

How very much I love her.

So, you see, sir,

I mean, I'm sure you can understand

With it being new year's Eve and all

That it was just something that I had to do.

Right?

Is he on the level?

Actually, I think he is.

All right.

I'd better find out

You and your lady friend ran off and got married,

Or you're gonna be shovelin' horsechips in central park.

Happy new year, ma'am.

[Horse whinnies]

All right, look,

The other night at the hospital,

When you told me I wasn't being honest with myself,

You were... You were right.

I should have never let you go,

It's just that,

I had never met a woman before

That I not only wanted to spend the whole holiday with,

But way beyond.

And that scared me,

So I used the excuse that you left your fiance

As a way for me to leave you before you could leave me.

And that was wrong,

And immature,

And I'm sorry, Julie.

You know, rob,

Just because your mom used to disappear on you,

It doesn't mean every woman will.

I know that now.

And, for the record,

I didn't leave Ben

Because I'm some terrible person.

I left him because I didn't love him...

Not the way that

I always dreamed I would love someone.

Is this a dream come true?

Yes.

[Crowd cheers and applauds]

[Laughing in embarrassment]

Happy new year, Julie.

Happy new year, Robbie.

Come on.

[Crowd counting down]

Eight, seven,

Six, five, four,

Three, two, one!

Happy new year!

[Everyone cheering]

[Radio plays]: Yes, the clock struck 12:00

And now it's time to say goodbye.

From your friends at 94.7 wnyj,

Here's wishing you your best year ever.

Jam-packed with success, happiness,

And, most of all, love.